All language subtitles for T A O O a H S01E38 Curiosity 1080p AMZN WEB-DL EAC32 0 H 264-WhatsBeyond (1)_track3_[eng]

Hi, Oz.

- Hi, Thorny.

- Well, you're looking
pretty self-satisfied.

- Well, I'll tell
you, it isn't often

a man gets the last
word in on his wife.

- You mean, you got the
last word in on Harriet?

- You bet I did, now.

- Yeah, what was that?

- Uh, Listerine.

- Listerine?

I don't get it.

- Thorny, don't tell me
after all these weeks

you don't know that Listerine
is the last word in antiseptics.

- Oh, gee, Oz, let me go
back and try that again.

- No, no, no, that's all right.

But in the future, Thorny, if
you'll kind of remember that,

you know we will both last much
longer with the whole deal.

- Oh, I'll surely
remember that from now on.

- I noticed would--
- How stupid of me.

- --with the caps and
the crown, of course.

- Real laid back.
I'll remember that.

- Listerine Antiseptic,
prophylactic toothbrushes,

and Listerine Toothpaste present
America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures
Of Ozzie And Harriet."

So settle back in
your easy chairs

and enjoy another delightful
half hour with all the Nelsons.

Ozzie Nelson, of
course, plays the part

of the head of the
Nelson household, Ozzie.

And here is his lovely
wife, Harriet Nelson,

who keeps the family
on an even keel.

Hello, Harriet.

The smiling young
teenager we now see

is David Nelson, older
of the two Nelson boys

and played by David Nelson.

And here we have the
youngest of the Nelsons,

the little guy with
a twinkle in his eye,

Ricky Nelson, played
by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next door
neighbor, Mr. Thornbury,

better known as
Ozzie's pal, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Anything exciting
happen downtown today?

- Hmm?

No-- oh, I'm sorry,
dear, what did you say?

- I said, what happened
downtown today?

- Oh, nothing exciting,
the same old stuff.

- Who'd you have lunch with?

- Oh, lunch?

Oh, yeah, I had lunch.

- No, I said, who did
you have lunch with?

- Oh, oh, lunch, I had
lunch with Herb Dunkle.

- Eat at the Elks Club?

- Hmm?

Uh, no.

- Where did you eat?

- Uh, we ate at the
Emporium, in the grill room.

- Who did you say you ate with?

- I said, I ate
with Herb Dunkle.

We ate down at the
Emporium in the grill room.

I had scrambled eggs
and muffins for lunch.

The muffins were burned.

I road home on the
bus with Joe Randolph

and he had a sore thumb.

Questions, questions.

What is this the
third degree, Harriet?

- Well, I should think
you'd be happy to see I take

an interest in such things.

And stop being so grouchy.

- I'll get it.

Though it's probably for you.

Hello?

- Hi, Harriet, it's Barbara.

- Oh, hello, Barb.

Say, we had such a good
time at your luncheon today.

- Oh, well, I was so
glad you could come.

- It's such fun to see
all the old crowd again.

- Yeah, it was fun, wasn't it?

It's a shame Betty
Randolph couldn't make it.

I guess she was about
the only one missing.

- Yeah, that's right, Betty
wasn't there, was she?

How come?

- I guess she was a
little upset about things.

- What sort of things?

- Oh, haven't you heard?

Joe and Betty have separated.

- Joe and Betty Randolph?

Well, that's awful.

- Isn't it, though?

- What happened?

- Well, it seems that Betty
found a picture of some girl

in Joe's wallet, a
very curvaceous blonde

in a bikini bathing suit.

- For goodness sakes.

- How about that?

He tried to tell her
it was his grandmother.

- Well, it's funny, Ozzie
met Joe downtown today,

but he didn't say
anything about that.

- Oh, was Ozzie downtown today?

Then he must have seen the big
fire at the Emporium Grill.

- At the Emporium Grill?

Well, Ozzie and Herb
had lunch there,

but he didn't say
anything about a fire.

- Oh, did Ozzie have
lunch with Herb?

How's his broken arm?

- Who's broken arm?

- Herb Dunkle's.

Didn't you know
he broke his arm?

- No, Ozzie didn't say
anything about that either.

- Well, that is strange.

Well, I have to be going, dear.

- All right, Barb, thanks
for telling me all the news.

- You're welcome.

And Harriet--

- Yes?

- --don't forget you
heard it here first.

- Fine, Barb.

Goodbye.

Stop reading the paper.

That was Barbara.

- Are you sure nothing
interesting happened

today downtown?

- Well, well, yes, I
told you what happened.

- How about the fire
at the Emporium?

- Oh, oh, that.

Well, I told you the
corn muffins got burned.

It wasn't much of a fire.

They had it out in a jiffy.

- And how about Herb Dunkle?

Barbara said he
had a broken arm.

- Oh, oh, yes, come
to think of it,

he did have his arm in a sling.

- How'd he break it?

- Well, I don't know.

- Well, didn't you ask him?

- Well, Harriet, if he wanted to
tell me, he would have told me.

Golly, what curiosity!

- Well, it isn't just
a matter of curiosity.

It just seems silly.

A man sits there
with a broken arm

and you don't even
ask him how he got it.

- Well, I don't
know how he got it.

Maybe he had a golfing
bet with a friend,

and he lost, and the friend
got to break his arm.

- You also met Joe Randolph.

And you didn't say a word about
him and Betty being separated.

- Oh, now, wait a minute.

Yes, I did, Harriet.

I didn't say it
exactly, but I told you

that Joe had a sore
thumb, remember?

- Well, what's that got to do
with their being separated?

- Well, see, that's
what caused it.

Betty bit him on the thumb.

You women are so curious.

In fact, that's what's
caused their trouble, Betty's

curiosity.

- Oh, fine.

She finds a picture of
another woman in his wallet

and it's her fault
they're separated.

- Well, yes, if she hadn't
been so darned curious,

she never would have found it.

As a matter of fact,
this wasn't Joe's fault,

you know.

He didn't even know the girl.

He'd never seen her.

He'd never heard of her.

- Well, did he tell Betty that?

- Well, he tried to.

He kept shouting it
over his shoulder,

all the way down the street,
but she wouldn't listen to him.

And now, at the risk of
sounding curious myself,

when is dinner
going to be ready?

- Just as soon as I put
the arsenic in your soup.

- I'm laughing, she
might not be kidding.

- Don't drink it
too fast, lover boy.

- Lover boy?

- Yeah, didn't you know, Pop?
Ricky's got a girl.

- Oh.

- Who are you supposed to
be, the local gossip column?

- Looks pretty serious, too.

I saw him carrying her books
home from school today.

- Wow, how about it.

- Heck, it was just my turn.

She carried mine home yesterday.

- That's all right, Ricky.

It's OK for a boy to
have a girlfriend.

- Yeah, it's the
standard arrangement.

It's been going on for years.

- I saw him at Miller's
having a couple of sodas, too.

- Oh, really living it up, eh?

- It's OK to buy a girl
a soda, isn't it, Pop?

- Sure.

- Is it OK to buy her
a banana split, too?

- It's OK with me.

- Oh, that's good,
because I told

Mr. Miller you'd pay for it.

- Well, I'll foot
the bill this time.

But next time, you either
use your own allowance

or get a girl with
a smaller appetite.

- What's your
girlfriend's name, Ricky?

Please, Harriet,
shall I turn on the bright

light?

- This isn't the third degree,
if that's what you mean.

- No, no, I know it isn't.

You gave me the third
degree before dinner.

This is the fourth degree.

- Oh.

- Her name is Mildred Marshall.

- Her name is Mildred
Marshall, Harriet.

- She's a very nice girl.

She has blond hair, blue
eyes, and a few freckles.

We're both in the same
class together at school.

She lives just a couple
of blocks down from me.

And she's a very good dancer.

- How long have you known her?

- Harriet, please,
can't you see he

doesn't want to talk about her?

What curiosity!

- Oh, that's OK, Pop.

I've known her about two weeks.

She just moved into town.

Would you say I have
a nice nose, Mom?

- Yes, dear.

I'd say you have
a very nice nose.

Why?

- Oh, nothing.

Mildred just said she
thought I had a nice nose.

That's when I bought
her the ice cream soda.

- I see.

- She likes my smile, too.

Says I have a very nice smile.

That's when I bought
her the banana split.

Well, I'd say you
picked a pretty smart girl.

- Come on, lover boy, let's
go out and play some baseball.

- OK, but you be
careful of my nose.

- Well, I guess
Ricky's growing up.

- Poor little guy, the way you
gave him that third degree.

- Oh, stop it.

Naturally, I'm interested
in what my family's doing.

Aren't you interested in
what I did at luncheon today?

- Not especially.

I know it's hard
for you to realize,

but men just aren't naturally
curious the way women are.

- I suppose you
wouldn't be interested

if I told you a rather
attractive girl said something

about you today.

- Well, not especially.

Did an attractive girl say
something about me today?

- Why, are you interested?

- No, no, not necessarily.

I would just like to know who
she was and what she said.

Who was she?

- Oh, now who's curious?

- No, no, I'm not curious.

I'm just naturally interested.

Who was this ravishing creature
who said these wonderful things

about me?

- I didn't say
she was ravishing.

- Well, you said
she was attractive.

Come on, you don't have
to tell me who she was.

Just give me a little hint.

- What kind of a little hint?

- Well, her name.

- All right, if you'll admit
that you're just eaten up

with curiosity and that men
are just as curious as women,

I'll tell you.

Harriet, just because
some beautiful girl said some

nice things about me--

- Who said she said
something nice?

- Well, it must have
been something nice,

or you wouldn't be afraid
to tell me who she is.

- Oh, I'm not afraid
to tell you, dear.

I'm just not going to tell you.

- For goodness sakes, Harriet.

This is ridiculous.

Just because some
attractive girl named--

What did you say her name was?

- Oh, no, that's my trick,
and it doesn't work.

- Oh, wait a minute, I'll
bet I know who it was.

It was Dorothy--
What's her name?

- Dorothy, what's-her-name?

- Yes.

- Well, what's her name?

- Or was it Florence?

That's who it was, wasn't it?

- No.

- Uh, was it Helen?

- No.

You just sit there and
worry about it for a while.

I'm going to clear
off the table.

- Or was it Catherine?

Harriet, that's who it was.

It was Catherine, wasn't it?

That tall, blonde
girl with dark hair.

- Ozzie and Harriet we'll
be back in just a moment.

- One has only to recall
the filmed versions

of the lives of our
great musical geniuses

to realize that in times
of great emotional stress,

they all thundered out their
frustrations at the keyboard.

These mighty musical
titans of the past, all

sought release to their problems
through the artistic expression

of their great talents.

Not unlike these other
mighty men of music,

our own Ozzie Nelson
sits down at the keyboard

to seek the answer
to his problem.

- Well, I haven't seen you
play the piano in ages.

- Oh, Harriet, I
just was thinking,

have you ever considered
how many songs have

been written about girls names?

- Oh, yes, lots of them.

- Margie, Louise, Josephine.

Mary?

- Yes, there was a
song called "Mary."

- I wouldn't imagine it's so
difficult to write a song.

All it takes is a
little imagination

and musical curiosity.

- I really hadn't
thought much about it.

- There's a definite
tie up there, you know.

Have you ever stopped
to figure that?

Imagination and
curiosity, very similar.

- No.

- Oh, yes.

You see, imagination is thinking
and curiosity is wondering.

Do you see the connection?

- Imagination is thinking
and curiosity is wondering?

No, I don't see the connection.

- Well, to put it
very bluntly, I'm

wondering who that
girl was, and I

can't help thinking
what's going to happen

to you if you don't tell me.

- I can't hold out
any longer, dear.

You're so curious now,
your face is green.

- No, no, no, no, my face
isn't being from curiosity,

that's my tall grass
aftershave lotion.

- I'm going to end
your torment, dear.

I made the whole thing up.

- You made what whole thing up?

- About the girl.

You talked so much about
a woman's curiosity

that I decided to arouse yours.

I did a pretty good job, too.

- No, Harriet, no
matter how beautiful

she is or no matter
what she said,

there's no reason for
you to hide it from me.

- No, honestly,
dear, I made it up.

- What you're trying
to say is that you're

sorry you thought of the whole
thing in the first place.

Well, forget about it, Harriet.

There's no need for
you to be jealous.

After all, just because
some gorgeous girl

happens to have a
schoolgirl crush on me.

After all, we've been
married for many years now.

- We've been married
for many, many years.

- Well, that's what
I say, we've been

married for many, many years.

Golly, I'm not going to
just run off and leave you.

What was that silly little
thing you used to call me

when we first married?

Your hubby wubby.

Golly, I'm still the same.

Perhaps a little more
wubby, but still your hubby.

- No, honestly,
dear, I made it up.

There was no girl.

- Oh, Harriet, it
would be different

if this was something important.

But golly, it's so silly.

It's much ado about nothing.

- Now, don't lose your temper.

- I'm not losing my temper.

But golly, I don't care
whether you tell me or not,

and you won't tell me.

- If you don't care about
it, we just forget about it.

- Oh, that's
probably a good idea.

Let's see, a girl's name.

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- Hey, you sound mighty low.

Nothing wrong, I hope.

- Oh, no, not exactly.

It's just, well, Harriet's
been acting kind of strange.

Boy, I can't figure
out women, Thorny.

They have so darn
much curiosity.

- You know my
wife's the same way.

Always curious.

Wants to know where I've been?
Who did I meet?

Where did I spend my money?

Where did I get
any money to spend?

- It's been going on
for centuries, I guess.

- Has Harriet been asking you
a lot of questions lately?

- Oh, questions,
questions, questions.

You see, it's OK if she gives
me a regular third degree, let

me ask her one little question
and right away it's a big deal.

- Now, wait a minute, I
don't quite follow this.

- Well, I just asked her
this question about this girl

I wanted to find out about--

- Girl?

What girl?

- Well, it's seemed that
Harriet attended this luncheon

yesterday afternoon, and
some beautiful, shapely girl

- this is kind of
embarrassing, Thorny

- but this beautiful girl said
some pretty wonderful things

about me, very
complimentary things.

- Oh, so there's nothing
wrong with Harriet.

It's this girl that's
out of her mind.

- Listen to me, will you?

Now, I'll admit I'm not the
handsomest guy in the world,

or even in the United States.

- Or even in this backyard.

- Thorny, do you want to
hear about this or don't you?

- I'm sorry.

Now, what was it the
girl said about you?

- Well--

- Uh, wait a minute,
we better sit down.

This sounds like it's
going to take a long time.

- Well, no, not
actually, Thorny.

As a matter of
fact, what the girl

said about me wasn't important.

But it's Harriet's reaction.

Harriet got so darned
jealous, Thorny,

that she won't even
tell me who the girl is.

- Well, Oz, you
never can tell what

a woman's jealousy will do.

Now, I knew a girl once
who had a pet frog.

Girl's name was Betty Clark.

- And what was the frog's name?

- Jaques Dupree.

Anyway, Oz, things were
going along just fine

until the girl next door to
Betty got a pet frog, too.

Well, let me tell you.

Betty got as jealous as she
could over this other girls

frog.

And the thing that
burned her up more

was that the other girl got
more warts than she did.

- It's amazing what a
woman's jealousy will do.

- Oh, it certainly is.

Now, let me hear more about
this friend of Harriet's who

said you look like a frog.

- Well, she said I look--

No, no, no, no, no, I don't
know what she said exactly,

but it was very complimentary.

See, that's why Harriet's afraid
to tell me who the girl is.

- Well, Oz, I don't mean to
butt in on any of the family

trouble.
- You go ahead, Thorny.

- But I think I have
a very simple way

to find out this girl's name.

- Well, go ahead.

What's your idea?

- Very simple.

Tell Harriet, you
know who the girl is.

Tell her, it's some
old flame of yours

that happens to be
in town vacationing.

And then make up some wild
story about you and the girl.

And when you have Harriet
just dying to know more, stop.

- Stop?

- Stop cold.

Don't tell her another
word until she tells you

who the girl is.
Oh, don't worry.

She'll blurt it right out.

Her curiosity will kill
her until she does.

- Yeah.

Thorny, by golly, at times
you show a touch of genius.

Thank you, Oz.

I use my brilliant mind
as a public service.

- I'll really lay
it on thick, too.

You know, all about
the tunnel of love,

and all that romantic stuff.
- Oh, now, wait a minute.

- Moonlight--
- Oz, Oz, don't overdo it.

- Oh, no, no, no, I want to do--

- Just play on the
greatest feminine weakness

of all, curiosity.

- Curiosity.

You're telling-- Gee,
thanks a lot, Thorny.

- OK, Oz.

Well, I'll see you.

Oh, Oz, now look,
be sure to let me

know how you make out with you.

I'm dying to know.

- Oh, Harriet, I've
got some news for you.

I found out who that
girl was at the luncheon.

- You did?

- Yeah, why didn't you tell
me Liza Cromwell was in town?

- Who?

- Oh, come now, dear.

Don't pretend you
don't remember Liza.

Why, she was your
biggest competitor when

we were first going together.

- Liza Cromwell?

- Oh, what a girl, ruby red
lips, sparkling black eyes,

chestnut brown hair, and
a little turned up nose.

That was Liza.

- What, no body?

Oh, come now, dear.

Control that jealousy
and that curiosity.

Oh, by the way, I have a
little confession to make.

Remember that time
years ago when

you invited me to go to
the barn dance with you,

and I called you up
at the last minute

and told you I couldn't make it,
that I was allergic to banjos,

they always made me
talk with a twang?

- Yes.

- Well, actually, that
was just an excuse.

I had a date with Liza.

We went to the amusement park.

We rode in the tunnel of love.

We got into one of those little
boats and snuggled up together.

And we drifted over
into a dark corner.

And I put my arm around her.

And that's all I'm
going to tell you.

- All right, dear.

- Yes, sir, I put
my arm around her

and that's all I'm
going to tell you.

Then I pulled her
head over on my shoulder.

And that's all I'm
going to tell you.

- Will you get the salt
and peppers for me, please?

- Well, uh, they're right there.

- Oh.

- Then I put my
other arm around her.

Now, get this picture,
Harriet, both of my arms

around her and her
head on my shoulder.

And that's all I'm
going to tell you.

Harriet, are
you listening to me?

- Hmm?

Oh, yes, dear.

- Then we went into the
tunnel of love again.

- Ozzie, you're on
the wrong track.

The girl at the luncheon
wasn't Liza Cromwell at all.

- I knew you'd crack.

What was her name?

- Constantina Waffle Mix.

- Constantina Wassellnix?

Well, I don't seem to recall--

- She sat three seats behind
you in the second grade.

I, I, I still don't recall
a Constantina Wassellnix.

What was this
compliment she paid me,

this, this nice thing
she had to say about me?

- Oh, well, she said you were
the only boy in school who

could put a whole peanut
butter sandwich in his mouth

at one time.

- Are you kidding?

- Well, now, what
makes you think that?

- Well, in the first place,
Constantina Wassellnix

sounds as if it might
be a phony name.

- I don't know why it should.

I just made it up.

- You made it up?

- Yes, I told you before
there was no girl.

I made up that story.

- Honestly?

- Mm-hmm.

Cross my heart.

- Of course, it really doesn't
make any difference one

way or the other.

- Yes, I know, dear,
because you aren't curious.

- I'm glad you realize it.

- Look, why don't you
go in the living room

and read your paper.

I'll call you when
dinner's ready.

- The whole thing is ridiculous.

- Of course, you could
ask me if I want any help.

- Ask you a question,
are you kidding?

And have you say I'm curious?

Oh, no.

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, oh, Thorny.

- Gee, I had to come over to
find out how you made out.

Oh.

- Constantina Wassellnix.

- Oh, oz, I didn't come
over here to be insulted.

Who's insulting you?

- Look, what I want to know is,
did you give Harriet a story?

- Oh, yes, a perfect story,
Thorny, all about a girl

named Liza Cromwell.

- Oz, I don't care about names.

All I want to know
is, did it work?

- It more than worked.

I not only get this deal
settled about the luncheon,

but I got a confession off my
chest that's been bothering me

for years and years.
- Yeah?

What do you mean?

- Well, there really was a girl
named Liza Cromwell, you see?

And there was this
deal where I had

the date with Harriet, and--

- Go on, dear.
- Go on.

- Oh.

- When Harriet
came up, I figured

I'd have a little fun with her.

Oh, she really makes my day.

- Oh, you thought you'd
have some fun, yeah.

- Yeah, I had some fun.

Oh, gosh.

- You know, Oz, I think
you're going to have some.

Oh!

Wait a minute, Thorny!

Come back here, Thorny!

Come here, you coward, you
started the whole thing!

- Ozzie and Harriet will
be back in just a moment.

- Hi!

- Oh, uh--

- Say, this should
interest you, dear.

I talked to Betty Randolph
a little while ago.

It looks like she's
going to forgive Joe.

- Oh, that's good.

I thought she was acting too
hasty in the first place.

After all, just a picture
of a girl in his wallet

is pretty flimsy evidence.

- Oh, I don't know.

- Oh, well, Harriet, Joe said he
doesn't know who the girl was.

He doesn't even know how
the picture got there.

Chances are, somebody just
put it in there as a gag.

- Well, now, that's
strange, because it's

exactly what happened.

Betty said that
Herb Dunkle called

and said that he'd put the
picture in Joe's wallet

as a joke.

- Now-- Oh, then there's a
broken arm and everything.

- And then five minutes
later, Thorny called

and he said he was
the one who put

the picture in Joe's wallet.

- Uh-oh.

- All in all, there were
about six confessions.

- Oh?

- I'm sorry, dear,
I interrupted you.

Are you going to make a
phone call or something?

Oh, I, I don't
think it'll be necessary now.

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Next week, "The Adventures
Of Ozzie And Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

Will be brought to you by
Hotpoint Quality Appliances.

Remember, look to Hotpoint
for the finest, first.

Elizabeth Patterson played
the part of Aunt Martha.

Barbara was Barbara Eiler.

And the pianist
was Frank Leithner.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
Of Ozzie And Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio stations.