All language subtitles for T A O O a H S01E35 The Plays the Thing 1080p AMZN WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-WhatsBeyond (1)_track3_[eng]

- Hi, everybody.

I'm Harriet Nelson.

I'd just like to
take this opportunity

to say a few words about our
Hotpoint garbage disposal

and dishwasher.

Now, we've had ours in our
home for several years now

and we think it's
just wonderful.

I'll bet that if you
have one in your home

for a couple of weeks,
you'll wonder how you ever

got along without it.

It takes all the drudgery
out of kitchen work,

it's an absolute necessity
to modern living.

- Hotpoint quality
appliances presents

America's favorite family
comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet," starring
the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

So settle back in
your easy chairs

and enjoy another delightful
half hour with all the Nelsons.

Ozzie Nelson, of
course plays the part

of the head of the
Nelson household, Ozzie.

And here is his lovely
wife, Harriet Nelson,

who keeps the family
on an even keel.

Hello, Harriet.

The smiling young
teenager we now see

is David Nelson, older
of the two Nelson boys

and played by David Nelson.

And here we have the
youngest of the Nelsons,

the little guy with
the twinkle in his eye,

Ricky Nelson, played
by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next door
neighbor, Mr. Thornberry,

better known as
Ozzie's pal Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- David, the breakfast
table is no place

to be reading the paper.

- Oh, I wasn't
reading it, Pop, I'm

just looking at the pictures.

- Well, what's the difference?

Looking at pictures or
reading, that's the same thing.

- I wish you'd tell
that to my teacher.

- If you boys are
finished, David,

why don't you take your
paper in the living room?

- Well, we were
just waiting to help

you clear off the table, Mom.

- Isn't that nice of us?

- Oh, this sounds to me like
the old familiar brother

act of yours.

The song and dance for
the allowance advance.

- This isn't the old act, Pop.

- Heck no, this is a new one.

"Getting out of the
play for the PTA."

- Oh, what play is that?

- Oh, the PTA is
putting on a pageant

and they need some extra boys.

- Oh, it looks like you
two guys get hooked, huh?

- Yeah, whenever they
need mountains or houses,

they just paint them on
a big canvas curtain.

Why can't they do the
same with the boys?

- Yeah, that's a thought.

What's the name of
this play, Harriet?

- Oh, it's called "Robin
Hood and his Merry Band."

- Holy smoke, a musical?

- Don't be silly, Ricky.

I think you'll enjoy it.

- We'd enjoy it a lot more if
we were sitting in the audience.

- Oh, come on now, it
ought to be a lot of fun.

Just think, you get
to wear a costume

and carry a bow and arrow.

- Hey, that's a neat idea.

If anybody in the audience
throws something at you,

you can shoot back.

- Well, that's a thought.

- Well then, when
Mrs. Pennyfeather

stops by this afternoon, I'll
tell her you volunteered, huh?

- Volunteered?

If you ask me,
we've been drafted.

- Do we have any apples
around here, Mom?

- Well, yes, dear, there's some
down there on the coffee table,

I think.

Don't tell me
you're still hungry?

- Oh no, I don't
want to eat it, I

want to see if I can
shoot it off David's head.

- What kind of a dirty
trick, roping the poor kids

in on a PTA pageant?

- Oh, I bet they get
a big kick out of it.

Besides, I'm a member
of the committee,

how would it look if my
own boys weren't in it?

- Oh, yeah.

- Say, maybe you'd like a part?

- Oh no, you don't.

You're not going to rope me
in on anything like that.

I have more important
things to do.

- Well, I can see
your point, dear.

You'd have to spend all
your time rehearsing

and you wouldn't have
any time to cut the lawn

or help me with the
household chores.

- Well, of course
on the other hand--

Oh no, you don't.

I'm not going to have
anything to do with it.

As you mention the
lawn, though, I

think I'll go outside
and have a look at it.

- You're going to cut it?

- Well, don't you
remember our agreement?

I promised you I'd
mow it as soon as it

got to be four inches high?

- I was afraid
maybe you'd forget.

I think it's four
inches high now.

- Oh, of course I
wouldn't forget.

After all, an
agreements an agreement.

It has to be cut,
it has to be cut.

- Good for you,
that's the old spirit.

What are you looking for?

- Where's my ruler?

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- What are you doing
with the ruler?

- I'm just measuring the lawn.

- Oh, tired of green, huh?

Going to have slip
covers made for us?

- No, Harriet and I
have a little agreement.

When the grass gets to be
four inches high, I cut it.

- Yeah?

Well, it looks like that to me.

- No, it's 3 and 5/8,
I just measured it.

- Oh.

Say, you know, this
isn't a bad idea.

I think I'll work out a deal
like this was my boy Will.

I'll cut the grass when
it's four inches high.

- Where does Will
fit into the picture?

- Well, he can cut it when
it's three inches high.

- That way, it'll never
get to be four inches high.

- That's OK, Oz,
I'm a patient man.

- I see what you mean.

- I stopped by to make sure
you're going to the PTA play

this year.
Oz, you won't want to miss it.

- Oh, yes, I will.

- Oh, no, no, it's
going to be great.

It's not like the
other plays we've done,

this is really going
to be something.

- What makes you so sure?

- I'm in it.

As a matter of fact, I have
one of the leading roles.

However, I didn't stop by to
brag, but as long as I'm here,

I may as well.

- Wait a minute, this
is actually a fact?

You're going to play one of
the leading roles in the Robin

Hood, the pageant, or
play, or whatever it is?

- Yea, very, 'tis
written in the stars.

- Just answer yes or no.

- I can't, Oz, I'm an actor.

- Boy, what a play
that's gonna be.

However, I might have known
you'd worm your way into it.

You're such an insufferable ham.

- Who's a ham?

- Oh, why deny it?

Look what happened at the
lodge minstrel show last year.

You kept trying to ruin my solo.

Every time I'd start to
sing, you'd chime in with me.

- Well, neither one of us
had any business singing.

We were only ushers.

- I thought it lent sort of a
novel touch to the occasion.

- Novel is right.

It's the first time I ever
heard of the customers

throwing out the ushers.

- Getting back to this
Robin Hood deal, Thorny.

As long as you're
going to be in it,

I want you to know I'll attend
and I'll be pulling for you.

I wish you a lot of luck.

- Spoken like a true friend, Oz.

- Yes, sir, I'll be there.

When you forget your lines,
I'll be pulling for you.

When you stumble awkwardly
around the stage,

I'll be pulling for you.

When the audience starts
to titter a little and then

they start to boo and
even when they hiss,

I'll be pulling for you, there.

When the play is all
over, I'll go backstage

and I'll go out in the alley and
I'll pull you out of the trash.

- I'm glad you stopped
by, Mrs. Pennyfeather,

and I'm so happy to know
that everything's working out

so nicely.

- Thank you a lot, Mrs. Nelson.

I've got such
wonderful cooperation

from just everybody.

Oh, Ozzie, you know
Mrs. Pennyfeather

- Oh yes, I do,
Mrs. Pennyfeather.

That's quite a play
you're putting on,

I understand, over at the PTA.

- Oh yes, we're all
excited about it.

- I imagine, at this late
hour, all the parts are taken.

- Well, I believe there
are a couple of parts left.

But don't worry, Mr.
Nelson, Mrs. Nelson tells me

you don't want
anything to do with it.

- Oh, well I'm not
a very good actor.

It's Robin Hood, isn't it?

- Yes, it is.

It takes place in England,
I believe,

hardly anything
I'd be able to do.

- Why, Mr. Nelson,
that's wonderful.

- It's nothing, it's really
nothing, Mademoiselle.

- Oh, Mrs. Nelson,
he's marvelous.

- Aw.

- That's a wonderful
Spanish accent.

- Oh.

- Well, I'll be running home.
- All right.

- Mrs. Pennyfeather,
on second thought,

I hate to disappoint the ladies.

I tell you, if at
the last minute

you should need
an actor, I can be

coaxed into playing the part.

- Oh, that's very
nice, Mr. Nelson.

If we get into
trouble, I'll call you.

- Yes, just, just
anything at all,

it doesn't have to
be a big part, just

any small part at all.

- I'll try and find one for you.

- Oh, OK.

Here you are, here's my card.

The name and the phone
number's on there,

just in case one
of the leads should

happen to get sick or
just anything at all.

- Well, thank you.
- Goodbye.

- Bye, Mrs. Pennyfeather.

- Now, Harriet, I
was just browsing

through some old
things up in the attic

and I came across some of these
plays that I was in, in school.

- You know, I just don't get the
sudden change in your attitude.

When I told you about
the play this morning,

you weren't at all interested.

- Oh, well, I got
to thinking it over

and I figured I should
do my share for the PTA.

I hope Mrs. Pennyfeather
doesn't give me too big a part.

You know, Thorny is going
to be in this thing.

He has one of the leading roles.

- Oh, is he really?

- Yeah.

Didn't look so
well today, either.

I hope he doesn't get sick.

- Cheer up, dear, he might.

- Hey, here's one of the plays
I took part in, in school.

Let me read you my part.

Somebody here in the middle.

Well, here it is on page 16.

It's a pretty dramatic bit, too.

Don't shoot!

- Well, go on.

- Well, that's all.

He shot.

- That was short.

It started on page 16
and ended on page 16.

- Well, yeah.

It was no long part, as far
as lines were concerned,

but I was through the entire
play as a result of it.

You see, after
the guy shot me, I

rolled under the
dining room table

and then I lay there during
act two and act three.

It was a pretty
interesting play,

it was written by a
guy named Ed Jones,

he wrote most of the
plays for us in school.

Oh Jonesy.

Oh listen, here's
one of Jonesy's.

But hark, what light through
yonder window breaks.

'Tis the moon and
Juliet is the sun.

I think that was one
of Jonesy's best.

- Why Ozzie, that's Shakespeare.

- Oh, yes, I know, but we never
had the heart to tell Jonesy.

Oh, I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh hello, Mrs. Pennyfeather.

- Mrs. Pennyfeather!

Friends, Romans, countrymen,
lend me your ears.

- What'd you say,
Mrs. Pennyfeather.

- I come to bury Caesar,
not to praise him.

- Well, bury him out in the
yard, I'm talking on the phone.

- Evil men who lives after them,
the good is often 'terred with

their bones.

- Just a moment,
Mrs. Pennyfeather.

Ozzie, Mrs.
Pennyfeather is trying

to tell me about your part.

Now, stop reading
Jonesy's plays.

- Jonesy's?

This is one of mine.

Go on with the part.

- Yes, dear.

Go on, Mrs. Pennyfeather.

This afternoon?

But what part?

Oh, well yes, I'll tell him.

Yes.

Oh, I'm sure that'll be fine.

He just wants to do
what he can for the PTA.

All right, goodbye.

- One of the leading parts!

I can tell by the
look on your face,

it's one of the leading
parts, you hate to tell me.

- Well, you're right, in a way.

I do hate to tell you.

- The part of Robin
Hood, the lead?

- Well, no, it's
not quite Robin.

It's more like Dobbin.

You're his horse.

- A horse?

Well that's a fine thing to do.

- But dear, you only
wanted a small part.

You said yourself you
didn't want a lead.

- Well, you didn't really
believe that, did you?

- Oh no, I didn't, but Mrs.
Pennyfeather doesn't know you

as well as I do.

- A horse?

I'm probably just an
ordinary horse, too,

not even any lines to say.

- One consolation,
you're the front half.

Oh, I'll bet you'll
be very good in it.

- Oh, yes, yes.

I'll probably do such a good
job that next year they'll

do Tarzan and promote
me to a monkey.

- Now come on, dear, help me
finish setting this table.

- Harriet, stop leading
me by the necktie.

- I thought you're in
a hurry for your lunch.

- Oh, you don't have to
fix any lunch for me.

I think I'll just
go out in the yard,

there's 3 and 5/8
inches of nice grass

out there, nice green grass.

If anybody wants
me, I'll be grazing.

- "Ozzie and Harriet" will
be back in just a moment.

- Oh, here you are.

I wondered where
you were hiding.

- Oh, well, I'm not
hiding, exactly.

Although I should be.

- What's the matter?

- Oh, Harriet, you know
very well it's humiliating,

being made a horse's head.

- Honey, I don't
know why I let myself

get involved in this
thing in the first place.

- Well, why don't you just
call Mrs. Pennyfeather

and tell her you don't
want to play the part?

- What could I say?

- Well, tell her you just
don't want to play it.

It's the truth, isn't it?

- Oh yes, but I mean, that
seems like such a cowardly thing

to do.

Hey, I have an idea.

Why don't you call
her on the phone

and tell her I can't
make it because I'm sick?

- I will not.
- You will not.

- No.

- Gee, the worst part
of it is, is Thorny

has a leading role in
the thing, you know?

- Well, you could have had
a better part last week,

why didn't you volunteer then?

- Well, because I didn't know
Thorny was going to be in it,

then.

I didn't find out about
it until yesterday.

- Hey, Mom and Pop, we've
memorized our parts.

- You want to hear us?
- Sure, go ahead.

- Don't forget yours this time.

- No worry, I won't.
- Are you ready?

- Ready.

- One, two, three,

Hooray for Robin Hood!

- How do we sound?

- Oh, that's very good.

Isn't that good, dear?

- Oh, yes.

- Your father's going
to be in the play, too.

- No, Harriet, please.

- Oh, are you, Pop?

What part are you going to play?

- Well, I'm going to play sort
of a character role, David.

- Oh, are you going
to be Robin Hood?

- No, but you're getting warm.

Perhaps I should
explain the entire deal,

so you guys won't
think what I'm doing

is completely unimportant.

True, I'm not playing
the part of Robin Hood,

he's the big man.

But for every big man,
there's a little man,

the man behind the man.

- Are you the man behind?

- No, I'm the man in front.

- You mean you're in
front of Robin Hood?

- Well, not exactly in
front of him, I'm under him.

- Gee, that sounds like a horse.

- Oh, Ricky, don't be silly.

Pop isn't going to play
the part of a horse.

I was only kidding.

- Pop's a good actor, boy.

What part are you
going to play, Pop?

- I'm a tree stump.

- A tree stump?

Gee, what kind of
a part is that?

- Look, boys, your
father's very generously

offered to donate his
time and effort to make

this PTA play a success.

Now, it may sound silly to you,
but the part that he's playing

is that of a noble,
valiant steed.

- Gee, what's that?

- Pop's a horse.

- Well, is there anything
wrong with being a horse?

- Not for a horse.

- Well, I hope you won't be
ashamed of your old father.

I hope I won't embarrass you
in front of your friends.

- Oh, we won't be
ashamed of you, Pop.

- Of course not, Pop.

You'll be all covered
up, won't you?

- Look, boys, I think you
better go outside and rehearse

your parts some more.
- OK, Mom.

Come on, Ricky.

Hooray for Robin Hood!

- Hooray for his horse, too.

- What a humiliation.

My own two sons ashamed of me.

Harriet, this is the last straw.

Straw, how do you like that?

I'm even beginning
to talk like a horse.

- Well, dear, there is
one possible way out.

- What's that?

- Well, I was talking
to Mary Dunkle

and she said the Dunk's awfully
disappointed with his part.

Maybe he'll trade with you.

- That's all I want to know,
I'll phone them right now.

- Hey, wait a minute.

Look, there's always
the possibility

that this part may not
be as good as yours.

- As good as mine?

Harriet, what in the
world could possibly

be more humiliating than
playing a horse's head?

That's one chance in 100, but
I'm not willing to take it.

- Yoo-hoo, Mr. Nelson!

- Oh, hi, Emmy Lou.

- Shake hands, Mr. Nelson.

I just heard that you're in
the PTA play and so am I.

- Oh.
- We're fellow troopers!

The show must go on!

Stage door, Johnny!

Pull the curtain, don't upstage.

- Come on, Mr.
Nelson, we're actors,

don't you know any theater talk?

- Oh, theater talk?

Two in the balcony, please.

Oh no, Mr. Nelson.

If you're going to
be an actor, you've

got to know the
language of the theater.

It's the language of grease
paint and wigs, of costumes

and backdrops, of color and
laughter, of tears and cheers,

of blazing marquees and
dust-covered posters, success

and failure, curtain
up curtain down,

bright lights,
floodlights, footlights.

That's the language
of the theater.

- Oh, Emmy Lou,
that's beautiful.

- Being an actress
is so exciting.

I'm playing the part of
the innkeeper's daughter.

What part do you have?

- Oh, well, if you're
the innkeepers daughter,

I'll be seeing you.

- Oh, are you one of the
men who work at the tavern?

- No, but I sort of hang
around the tavern a great deal.

I spend most of my time out
in the back of the tavern,

around by the stables,
you might say.

- Well, if you're
not one of the men,

what else is there
around the stables?

You couldn't be a sack
of oats or a bale of hay.

- No, not exactly, but
you're getting warm.

I'll give you a little
hint, who eats oats and hay?

- No one that I know, let
me think, eats oats and hay.

- I might as well
tell you, Emmy Lou.

I play the part of a horse.

A horse?

- Yeah, uh, Robin Hood's horse.

Pretty awful, huh?

- Well, I think that's
wonderful, Mr. Nelson.

That's a very
important part, you'll

be on stage just about all
the time, galloping along,

your horsey muscles
rippling in the footlights,

your long, graceful legs
stretch out as the spurs bite

into your ribs.
- Ooh.

- Faster, faster, faster!

Whack, whack, whack!

There's a high fence, you
got to jump it, old horse!

- No, no, no wait,
Robin Hood, I'll

go round and open the gate.

- I can just see
you, Mr. Nelson.

Racing along, your
head held high,

Robin Hood bouncing up and
down on your broad back.

- Oh, say, that's a thought.

Robin Hood is going to be
riding on my back, isn't he?

Who's playing the part
of Robin Hood, I wonder.

- Toby McIntyre.

- You mean they're going to
have some big fat guy riding

on my back?
- Oh no, Mr. Nelson.

They just call
him that, he's not

the least bit tubby and fat.

- No?

Oh, that's a
relief, you're sure?

- I'm positive.

He's 220 pounds of solid muscle.

Well, I'll be
seeing you, bye bye!

Yeah.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- Hiya, Oz.

- I got some interesting
news for you.

That play tomorrow
night, there's

going to be one really
fine actor in it.

- Well, Oz, that's what
I told you this morning.

- No, no.

You've missed the
point entirely,

you're going to have
a little competition.

I've donated my talents, too.

- Well, congratulations, Oz, I'm
glad you're going to be in it.

We'll have a lot
of fun up there.

- That's what I figured,
you and I together.

- Oh, I can see us up
there now, horsing around.

- Who told you?

- Told me what?

That we always horse around?

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh yeah.

Boy, I've really got
a great part, too.

Of course, it isn't as
good as the part you have,

you have one of
the leading roles.

- Well, Oz, about
that leading role,

now that you're going
to be in the play,

I think I better to
tell you about it.

- Well, isn't it a leading role?

- Well, yes, yes, in a way.

Robin Hood rides up on his horse
and I lead him into the stable.

What part do you have, Oz?

- Oh, well, mine is
one of those parts that

will be talked about.

As a matter of
fact, I'll probably

never hear the end of it.

You know, I'm actually afraid
the part is a little too

big for me.

I would say it's a part that
suits a man of your talents

a little better.
- Well, now, wait a minute, Oz.

You mean you want to trade
your part for the part

of a lowly stable boy?

The only thing he does is
lead a horse into a stable.

- Well, yes, Thorny.

I really would, for
the good of the play.

- Well, now, Oz, before you have
a chance to change your mind,

let's make a deal.

You take my part and
I take your part.

Let's shake.
- It's a deal.

No backing out now,
it's a definite deal.

- No, no backing out.

You have my part and
I have your part.

- Right.

All right now,
Oz, what am I going to be?

Well, come on, tell
me, I'm all ears.

- You will be.

Thorny, old boy,
this breaks my heart.

You are now the front end
of Robin Hood's horse.

- Oh, Oz, what a low
down thing to do.

What a dirty trick to play
on your old pal, Thorny.

- Oh, go on, you'd do
the same thing to me

if you got the chance.

- Oh.

- Besides, the part you gave
me isn't so hot, a stable boy.

- Yeah?

Who said you were?

- Well, that's what you
were going to be, wasn't it?

- Yeah, that's what
I was going to be,

up until about an hour ago,
when I traded parts with Dunkle.

- Now wait a minute,
you didn't tell me

you traded parts with Dunkle.

- Well, of course not,
Oz, you didn't ask me.

- Thorny, what
part am I playing?

- Well, you were the head of the
horse, just back up a little.

- "Ozzie and Harriet" will
be back in just a moment.

- Hi, there.

- Oh, hi, I've been
looking all over for you.

- Oh, Thorny and I took
a little stroll downtown.

What's up?

- Well, I got some
good news for you.

Mrs. Pennyfeather
called and you're not

going to have to be the horse
tomorrow night after all.

- Good news?

Harriet, that's a
big disappointment.

After all, Thorny and
I were looking forward

to being in this.

He was going to be in
the horse outfit with me.

He was going to
be the front part.

- Well, as I recall
it, so were you.

That would have been a rather
interesting looking horse.

- Oh, oh, that.

Well, you see, I had
a very clever trick

for getting Thorny
to take my part.

And he had a very
clever trick for getting

me to take his part.

And prior to that, Dunkle
had had a very clever trick

for getting Thorny to take the
part that he originally had.

And so it wound up by
being quite a medley

of very clever tricks.

And, and--

- And you ended up--

- I ended up the, the, yes.

How come we're not
going to do the horse bit?

- Oh, well, it seems there's
only one horse costume in town

and the PTA hadn't reserved it.

So when Mrs. Pennyfeather
called up to rent it,

somebody else had already taken
it, just this afternoon, too.

- Oh, what a shame.

- Mom.
- Yes, dear?

- We're not going to have
hamburgers for dinner, are we?

- No, we're having
pork chops, why?

- Oh gosh, I'm glad of
that, I was worried.

- Since when have you been
so concerned over what

we have for dinner?

- You know what I found
out in the garage?

- Oh, Rick, look,
you're interrupting.

- No, Rick, what did you
find out in the garage?

- The skin of a horse.

I was afraid we were going
to have hamburger for dinner.

- Skin of a horse.

- What a coincidence.

- OK, Harriet, I'll admit it.

Thorny and I went down there
and rented the horse outfit.

- You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

It certainly would have
left the PTA in the lurch

if they hadn't decided to
eliminate the part of the horse

anyway.

- Now, wait a minute.

You mean to say they were going
to cut out the horse bit even

if they could have
rented the costume?

- Mm-hmm, Mrs. Pennyfeather
decided it cost too much money.

- Well, that's a fine thing.

Thorny and his bright
idea cost us $20.

- You sure it wasn't your idea?

- Well, we both got the
idea, but after all,

he's the horse's head, he's
supposed to have the brains.

- Looks like you were
left out of the play.

- Yeah, we're out $20, too.

Oh, I'm going to go
over and get Thorny.

Would you ask David and Ricky
to come outside in the back,

please?
- Well, yes dear, but what for?

Well, I just thought
they might like

to witness the
most unusual sight,

a horse taking turns
kicking himself.

- Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

will be brought to you by
Prophylactic toothbrushes,

Listerine toothpaste, and
Listerine, the most widely

used antiseptic in the world.

The part of Emmy Lou was
played by Janet Waldo.

Elmira Sessions played the
part of Mrs. Pennyfeather.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio station.