All language subtitles for T A O O a H S01E32 The Traders 1080p AMZN WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-WhatsBeyond (1)_track3_[eng]

- Hi, I'm Harriet Nelson.

I was just down to
the drugstore and I

noticed that the new
issue of "Look" magazine

is on the stands.

It has a picture of Adlai
Stevenson on the cover,

and if you look inside there
are some wonderful pictures

of all us Nelsons.

There's a nice story, too.

While I was down there, I
bought some Listerine, too.

Listerine is the one thing
I just can't do without.

- What about me?

- Oh, yes.

Ozzie can't do without
Listerine either.

Hey, let me in!

- Listerine antiseptic,
Listerine toothpaste

and prophylactic
toothbrushes present

America's favorite
family comedy,

"The Adventures of
Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And of course his lovely wife
Harriet as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

- The Nelson's next
door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Hi, Pop.

- Oh, hi.

Hey, where are you going
with all that junk?

- Please, Pop.

This isn't junk.

This is valuable merchandise.

- Well, by golly, you
could have fooled me.

Where'd you get it?

- Will Thornberry and I have
been doing a little trading.

How do you like this tire jack?

Isn't it a beauty?

- One of the old timers.

Well, that sure brings
back a lot of memories.

- If I had something
else to trade

I could have gotten
three more of those.

- What in the world would
you do with four tire jacks?

- I was thinking on building
a car in the backyard

this summer.

- This an old bicycle wheel?

- Yes, sir.

- Well, gee, this is
very interesting, Dave,

but what do you think
you can do with this?

- I don't know.

Looks like it might
come in handy though.

I'll figure out something.

- I suppose you can inflate this
old inner tube here and use it

for swimming or boating
or fishing this summer.

- That's a good idea, except
it has a few holes in it.

- Oh, well, don't leave
this valuable merchandise

around the living room where
your mother can see it.

- Oh, I won't, Pop.

I'm going to put it
in the hall closet.

- Oh, no, Dave, don't put
it in the hall closet.

There's scarcely room enough
to hang coats in there now.

Take it out to the
garage will you?

- OK, Pop.

- Now wait a minute, Rick.

What have you got here?

- It's a wheelbarrow
full of valuables.

- Well, look, you can't
leave this out in the hall.

- It won't fit in the closet.

I tried it.

- Well, of course it
won't fit in the closet.

Where'd you get this stuff?

- We've been trading.

- Well, so David told me.

Look, Ricky, you
and David can't go

around collecting all
the neighborhood old junk

and dumping it in our
hall closet, you know.

- It isn't old junk, Pop.

I just traded it.

- Well, take it
out to the garage.

- Oh, heck, Pop.

I just got finished
dumping one load in there.

- Well, yeah, so I see.

Golly, you're as
bad as David, Rick.

You guys could stand a
few lessons in trading.

Boy, here's a valuable
piece of merchandise.

What are you going
to do with this?

- I'm going to make a
couple of slingshots.

- Where'd you get this?

- What's that?

- This copy of the
"Police Gazette."

Who traded you this?

- Ronnie Biddle.

I got gypped, too, boy.

There's not one picture of a
policeman in the whole thing.

- Oh, now, Rick.

- What's the matter, Pop?

- Look, you're old enough
no better than this.

- It isn't mine, Pop.

It must be David's.

- Well, that's even worse.

- I guess David got
stuck, huh, Pop?

- Well, if he paid more
than $0.10 for this he did.

- Well, I got to get cleaned up.

- No, no, no.

Wait a minute, Rick.

Take this stuff out
of the garage first.

- It isn't all mine, Pop.

- Well, you wheel
the wheelbarrow out

and I'll take the
rest of this junk out.

And listen, this goes
for you and David.

I don't mind you trading but
don't get stuck all the time.

Don't take all the
neighborhood old junk

and dump it in our house.

- I wonder who stuck
David with that old clock.

- Oh, I don't know.

- I guess Dave is
pretty dumb, huh, Pop?

- It would seems so.

- I guess I am, too.

Pop?

- Yeah?

- Do you believe in the old
saying, like father like son?

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- What are you going?

- I'm just taking this
junk out of the garage.

- Well, if you had
stopped by my house

I'd have given you some
rags and old papers.

- No thanks.

I'm having enough
trouble with the boys.

They've been trading
this junk and leaving it

all over the house.

- Oh, so that's it.

That explains some of the
things I just picked up myself.

Like this old bicycle seat
and this beat-up teapot.

- At least I'm glad
to learn they've

been leaving the loot someplace
else besides our hall closet.

- Yeah, I found a bicycle
seat in my easy chair.

It's really quite a surprise.

I bet I pedaled halfway across
the room before I could get up.

- I don't know why
the boys always

get stuck with this junk.

- Well, you know,
Oz the thing that

puzzles me is how they could
trade some perfectly good

things for something like--

Like this beat up teapot.

Now, there's a
worthless piece of junk

if I ever saw one,
especially for kids.

- If you think that's something,
here, take a look at this.

- What is it?

- It's an old
clock of some sort.

Of course, this bicycle helmet
I don't think goes with it.

- Oh, I was wondering.

Does it work?

- I understand it tells perfect
time twice every 24 hours.

- Who got stuck with that.

Ricky?

- He claims not.

Evidently must have been David.

- You know how kids are, Oz.

I bet you did a lot of
swapping and trading

when you were a kid, too.

- I don't mind the boys
trading and swapping, Thorny,

but gee, I don't
think they ought

to get stuck all the time.

- Well, I think it evens up, Oz.

Look at my boy Will.

He would up with
this beat up teapot.

- Gee, I wish we could
give the kids some sort

of a graphic illustration.

You know, some
practical demonstration

of what equitable
trading is like.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I see what you mean.

- Hi, Pop.
Hi, Mr. Thornberry.

- Hi, Ricky.

I understand you've been
doing a little trading.

- Yes, sir.
Were you and Pop trading?

- Well, we sort of--

- No, Ricky.

We've just been
discussing the fact

that you kids seem to get
stuck with a lot of this junk

all the time.
- Well, now wait a minute.

Wait a second, Oz.

You know, what
about that swap we

were going to go through with?

You know, this--

- Oh, yes.

- Tea kettle for the--
- Yes.

Yes.

Mr Thornberry and I think it
might be a good idea if we

did a little swapping here.

That teakettle you say
for this antique clock.

Yeah.

That's seems to be
an equitable trade.

Although I think
I should warn you,

Thorny, that this old clock,
the more I look it over I

see that it's not exactly a
beautiful piece of merchandise.

In fact, I don't think it's
run for a considerable number

of years.

Let's face it,
Thorny, I would say

this is a real piece of junk.

- Well, Oz, take a
look at the teapot.

I think it's a
pretty fair trade.

- Yes.

The more I look
over that teapot I

think you're absolutely
right, Thorny.

Shall we call it
a fair exchange?

- It's a deal.

- Teapot for the clock.

Oh, there now, you
see that, Ricky?

Mr. Thornberry and I have
made an equitable exchange,

the clock for the teapot, and
we're both very happy about it.

- You know, Oz, on the level,
when I look at this clock

and see what I get with it, I
think it's a very good trade.

- Yes.

I see what you mean.

Matter of fact, the
more I look at this--

This-- this beautiful--

The more I look at
this the teapot,

this will come in very handy.

I can-- Oh, I can use it to pour
water in the car radiator with.

Many uses.

- Sure.

Sure.

Well, I think I'll
see you later, Oz.

- What's your hurry?

- Well now, no
reflection on the clock,

Oz, but I think I'll sort
of hide it in the garage.

- I see what you mean, Thorny.

Now, Rick, you see what
we mean by a fair bargain?

- Yes, sir.

- You're always supposed
to exercise good judgment

in any trade.

Now let's see if you
learned your lesson.

What would you be
willing to trade me

for this beautiful
old English teapot?

- Well, I'll give
you this scout knife.

- Don't be too hasty.

You just saw the exchange
between Mr Thornberry and me.

You heard all the conversation.

Don't make this a
one sided deal now.

- OK then, I'll give you this
scout knife and this tennis

ball.

- No, no, no, no, Rick.

Here, I'll just
take the scout knife

and you take that
English teapot.

- Gee, thanks, Pop.

- You're really happy
with the exchange you just

made, this beautiful scout knife
for that old dented teapot?

- Sure, Pop.

- What in the world are
you going to do with that?

- I'm going to keep
my marbles in it.

- Well, I know, but
Rick, just look at this.

This is a beautiful
scout knife and that's

an old dented teapot.

You sure you're happy
with the bargain?

- Yes, sir.

- Look, Rick, I don't want
to take advantage of you.

Take the old teapot
out to the garage

and I'll give you
back your scout knife.

- Oh no, Pop, a deal is a deal.

- I know, Ricky.

Look, please take the
scout knife back will you?

It looks very dangerous.

I'm liable to cut myself.

- Well, you don't have
to worry about that, Pop.

It doesn't have any blades.

- Dinner will be ready in
just a minute, darling.

- Oh, good.
Lamb chops.

- I hope you like
them, sweetheart.

- Oh, I'm sure I will.

- I hope so, dear.

- Harriet?

- Yes, darling?

- The answer is no.

- No what?

- Whatever you're trying to get.

- I'm not trying
to get anything.

- Oh, Harriet, then
why all this "darling,"

"dear" and "sweetheart" stuff?

- Well, for goodness
sake's, can't a woman

be in love with her big,
strong, handsome husband?

- Now, no matter how
much you flatter me

the answer is still "maybe."

- Believe me, dear, I'm not
trying to get anything else.

- Oh, I-- anything else?

What do you mean, anything else?

- Well, I spent a
little money today.

- Oh?

What did you buy?

- Oh, it's lovely, dear.

The minute I saw it
I said to myself,

"Ozzie's just going to
be crazy about this."

I know you'll just love it.

- Oh, oh, fine.

What is it?

- Well, Kartherine
Thornberry and I

happened to be passing
by this cute little shop

and so we decided to stop in.

I got the most
wonderful bargain.

- What was it you bought?

- I'm trying to give
you a little background.

I want you to understand
all the circumstances.

- In other words,
you're stalling.

- I'm not stalling.

- OK, what did you buy?

- I'll tell you after dinner.

- After dinner?
- Yes.

Now I'm stalling.

- Well, Harriet, if
it's something nice

and you got a bargain on
it, why are you so worried?

- I got worried.

If you must know, it's a clock.

- That sounds like a very
sensible purchase to me.

- It's an antique clock too.

It's mahogany and has little
gold rim around the face

and all the parts are
made in Switzerland.

It's really beautiful.

- Oh, fine.

Does it tell time?

- Well, no.

That's the only trouble with it.

They're trying to
fix the parts for me,

but even if it
doesn't work it'll

look lovely on the mantle.

- Oh, sure.

And If we have any
company, people

ask what time it is, the boys
can just turn the hands right

to the time.

Where is this thing?

- Well, you won't
laugh at me now?

- No, no, no.

Why should I laugh?

- I was sort of afraid
of your reaction

so I hid it in the hall closet.

- Oh, the hall closet.

You mean the closet in the hall?

- Well, yes, of course.

- Oh, well--

Harriet, the craziest
thing happened.

You'll scream at this.

- What happened?

- I'd better not tell you.

You'll scream at this.

- Want to see the clock?

- No, no.

Not now, Harriet.

I mean, why don't
we wait till later?

It might spoil your dinner.

- Spoil my dinner?

- I mean, you might
spoil my dinner.

You know, we've got--

Mmm, those lamb
chops smell so good.

- I don't mean the lamb chops.
I mean the clock.

Don't you want to see the clock?

- Well, Harriet, after all a
clock is a clock as a clock.

- Well, this is
more than a clock.

This is a beautiful antique.

- Yes, I know.

You told me it's a
beautiful antique.

It doesn't tell time.

- Well, it will as soon as
they fix the parts for me.

They'll have the works for
me in a couple of days.

- Oh, well why don't
we eat dinner first.

I have kind of a feeling
I'll be getting the works

before you do.

- Ozzie and Harriet will
be back in just a moment.

- Hi, Pop.

- Hi, Pop.

- Hello, fellas.

- How come you're
locking the door?

- Oh, the closet door?

Just playing a little
joke on your mother.

- Is mom locked in there?

- No.

It's not a joke to lock
somebody in the closet.

- Well, how come you're
locking the door?

- Well, see, I am
locking the closet door

to keep your mother
out of the closet.

- I don't get it.

- Well, it's kind
of hard to explain.

It's sort of an older
folks joke you might say.

You guys will understand
when you grow up

and have a wife of your own.

- A wife of our own?

- Well, yes, of course.

- You mean one wife
between the two of us?

- Look, it's a nice evening.

Why don't you guys go out
and take a little walk.

- Mom doesn't want us to
go out after dinner, Pop.

- Tell us some more
about the joke.

- Well, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

I'll let you guys be a very
important part of the joke.

Can you fellas keep a secret?

- Sure, Pop.

- Yeah, what's the deal?

- Remember the old clock
that I traded to Mr.

Thornberry that we
thought was David's?

- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.

Ricky told me about it.

- Well, see, here's what
I want you guys to do.

Don't say anything
about it to your mother.

- I saw a picture
the other week where

this one guy gave this other
guy $1,000 not to snitch on him.

- Seems to me I've heard
of this picture before.

- Well, no, this is another one.

- Oh, well, nevertheless,
that's a bribe, Ricky.

You can go to jail for that.

Besides, I'm sure the guy got
his just desserts in the end.

- You can buy an awful lot
of desserts with $1,000 boy.

- That's not the point.

- Would $1 be a bribe?

- Well, of course it would.

- How about $0.50?

- Yes, that's a bribe, too.

- It's awfully hard to talk
with a soda straw in your mouth.

- Look, any money you give
somebody to pay for his silence

is a bribe.

Not only that, it's
pretty cowardly

to be bullied into
paying like that.

- I don't know.

This guy in this picture
was awful brave, Pop.

- Just like you.

- Well, nevertheless
it's a cowardly thing

to allow yourself
to be shaken down.

However, let's forget
about the picture.

Why don't you guys go down
and buy a soda for yourself?

- We don't have any money.

- Oh, well, here.

I think I can let
you have a dollar.

- Is this a bribe, Pop?

- No, no, of course not.

It's perfectly
legitimate for a father

to give his own sons
money for sodas.

- I just don't want the police
to come down here and griddle

me.

- I think you're in the clear.

Oh, I think I hear your mother.

Here's a dollar.
Hurry up, fellas.

- Thanks, Pop.

- Thanks, chief.

- Ozzie?

- Yes, dear.

- Where are the boys?

I thought they were with you.

- Oh, yes, they were.

They just stepped out
for a few moments.

- So late?

- Yeah, they'll be right back.

How about it?

- How about what?

- Well, aren't you going to
show me the beautiful clock

you bought?

- Well, I'd love to
but you didn't seem

to be interested in it before.

- Oh, Harriet, stop teasing.

I think you said it was
right in the closet.

Didn't you say you put it there?
- Yes, I did.

- That's funny.

- Something the matter, dear?

- The door is locked.

I wonder who could
have done that?

- Oh, the boys didn't do it.

- I didn't say the
boys did do it.

- Oh.

- What makes you so
sure they didn't do it?

- Well?
- I'll just ask them.

- No, no, no.

Harriet, they won't talk.

I mean, they won't be
back for quite a while.

- I thought you said they'd
be back in a few minutes.

- Oh, well.

- Where'd they go?

- They just went
down to the store.

They wanted to buy a
couple of chocolate bribes.

I mean, chocolate sodas.

I tell you, why don't
you look for the key.

I want to see Thorny
about something.

- I don't know where the key is.

- I'll be right back, dear.

- Whoa!

Hi, Oz.

- What are you doing
prowling around my garage

in the dead of the night?

- Is this your garage?

- You know darn well it is.

However, since we've been
old friends and neighbors

for a good number of years,
and since this is probably

your first offense,
I'll overlook it.

- Gee, thanks, Oz.

- As a matter of
fact, Thorny old pal,

I was just over to your
house looking for you.

See, remember this afternoon
we made a little exchange?

I traded you an old
battered up clock?

- Yeah.

- Well, my conscience has
been bothering me, Thorny.

I tell you what I'll do.

I'll take the clock
off your hands

and instead I'll give you this
beautiful jackknife, guaranteed

not to cut you.

- Just a minute, Oz.

I've been feeling
pretty terrible myself.

To think that I pawned
off a battered old teapot

on a friend.

I'll tell you what.

You give me back the teapot
and I'll give you this dandy

lively bounder baseball.

- I tell you what we
better do, Thorny.

Why don't we just restore the
whole thing to status quo?

In other words, you give me
back the old broken down clock

and I'll give you
back the teapot.

It's in the garage here
someplace, I believe.

- No.

No, it isn't, Oz.

- What makes you so sure?

- Well, didn't you think
it was strange when

you found me in your garage?

- Well, yes, I did.

As I say, I won't turn
you into the police

if you give me back the
old broken down clock.

- Oz, I'd love to.

But unfortunately, it's
not mine to give back.

You see, with a little
shrewd trading on my part,

I was able to get
a baseball for it.

- Who did you trade with?

- My boy Will.

He wants to make a
birdhouse out of it.

- Might as well let you
in on a little news.

That clock happens
to be very valuable.

- Well, naturally.

That's why I was able to
get a baseball for it.

- No, no, no.
You don't understand.

It's a valuable old antique.

Harriet bought it
in an antique shop.

- What?

And you're trying to get
it back with that broken

down old knife?

Oz, you crook.

However, I'm willing to forget
everything if you'll just

give me back that old teapot.

- Well, unfortunately I can't.

You see, I traded
the teapot to Ricky.

He used it to keep
marbles in and I

understand every time you
wants a marble he pours one

out the spout.

- You mean that you gave
Ricky a valuable antique?

Oh, how could you?

- Valuable antique?

- Sure, Katherine got
it at the auction today.

- And you offered me
a baseball for it?

Why, you big crook you.

I'll overlook it provided you
give me back the broken down

old battered clock.

- Oz, you've already told
me it's a valuable antique.

- Hi, Pop.
- Ricky.

- I'm here too, Pop.
- Hi, boys.

- Hi, Mr. Thornberry.

- Is that a clock
you've got there?

- Yes, sir.

- Where did you get it, David?

- I give Will a quarter for it.

- Say, Dave, how would you
like to make a little trade

with your old dad?

- What do you want
to trade, Pop?

- Well, you give me that
clock and I'll give you

this beautiful antique knife.

- It doesn't have any blades.

- Say, Rick, is that a
teapot you got there.

- Yes, sir.
I got it from Pop.

- Well, Rick old boy,
old pal, how would you

like to trade that teapot
for this beautiful baseball?

- I'll give you the
clock for the baseball.

- David, won't you give me
the clock for the knife?

- No, sir.
I want the baseball.

- I want the knife
for the teapot.

- Well, I don't want the teapot,
I want the clock for the knife.

- How about trading the
teapot for the baseball?

- No, sir.

I want the knife of the teapot.

- Wait a minute.

I think I have something
figured out here.

Thorny, you exchange
the baseball

for the teapot with Ricky.
- Right.

- Well, I don't
want the baseball.

- I want the baseball, Pop.

- I want the teapot.

- I want the knife
for the teapot.

- Ricky, stop saying I want
the knife for the teapot.

- But I want the
knife for the teapot.

- Well, I want the
clock for the knife.

- I want the baseball
for the clock.

- Wait, wait a minute, Oz.

Let me try something here.

Oz, you give David the knife.

David, you give me the clock.

Rick, you give your
father that teapot

and I'll give you the baseball.

See?

Now, Oz, you give me the teapot
and I'll give you the clock.

How's that?

- Well, that's perfect, Thorny.

Congratulations.
- Wait a minute.

I got the baseball.

- And I got the knife.

- Oh, I'm too old to
go through that again.

- If I can't have the knife
I want the teapot back.

- And if I can't
have the baseball,

I want the clock back.

- Wait a minute, now.

If I give the clock.

No, no.

- Wait a minute.

Here, Ricky.

- Hey, I got the knife.

- And I got the baseball.

- I got the clock.

- I got the teapot.

- Ozzie?

- Oh, oh.

- What are you doing wearing
your overcoat in the house?

- Oh, well I'm going
to take it right off.

- Well, go ahead.

- Well, you're here.

- Of course I am, dear.

We're married.

I've seen you without your
overcoat lots of times.

- I'm, I'm going to
take it right off.

- What's that big
bulge under it?

- Oh, I guess I must be
putting on a little weight.

That cooking of yours--

Would you answer the phone?

- I didn't hear anything.

- Oh, well, why don't
you answer the phone just

in case there might
be somebody there?

I would myself except I want to
hang this coat in the closet.

- Oh, I got the
closet door open.

- How could you?

I have-- I mean--

We can't find the key.

- Oh, the back door
key opens it perfectly.

I'll show you the
clock just as soon

as I finish putting
away the dishes.

- Oh, well, yes.

That's a good idea.

You put away the dishes.

- Leave the door, dear.

- OK.

- Hi, Pop.

- Oh, oh, Rick.

- What are you doing?

- I'm just going to this
clock back in the closet.

Don't say anything
to your mother now.

I need to straighten
up this closet.

- Hey.

Ricky?

Come on.

Open the door son.

Ricky?

Ricky?

Come on, son.

It's very funny but
the joke is over.

Ricky, open the door.

David?

David, did you lock that door?

David?

Open the door, David.

Well, goodnight, Harriet.

- Goodnight, dear.

- Ozzie and Harriet will
be back in just a moment.

- You really don't
like that clock do you?

- Oh, sure, it's fine, Harriet.

- Oh, I can tell
you don't like it.

- Well, now that you mention it.

- Don't be afraid
to admit it, dear.

I don't care for it either.

- Well, as long
as we both agree.

I do think you could have
bought something a little more

useful for the same money.

- You're absolutely right.

- There are dozens of things
you could have bought instead.

When are you're going
to take it back?

- Oh, I'm not going
to take it back.

I traded it this morning.

- You traded it?

- To Katherine Thornberry
for the most beautiful

old English teapot.

- An old fashioned girl
and her toothbrush.

Sweetheart, toothbrushes
have changed!

Today, no other brush
combines quality

by prophylactic and the modern
features of the new Pro 59.

More bristles, thinner
bristles, three times more

than old style brushes.

More thorough cleaning on teeth
and deep inside tooth crevices.

More gentle.

Pro 59 bristles are
ideal for massaging gums.

Don't get the old, get the new.

The only toothbrush with these
modern features and quality

by prophylactic.

The new Pro 59.

Other stylist at all counters.

Buy prophylactic.

Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

Will be brought to you by
Hotpoint quality appliances.

Remember, look to Hotpoint
for the finest first.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio stations.