Original subtitles

- Hey, Mom? - Yes, dear?

- Have you noticed how low David's voice is getting?

- Yes, I have.

- He's practically a bass.

- Oh, I don't think it's quite that low.

- Well, I don't know.

You should hear him gargle "Oh, Happy Day" with his Listerine.

Listerine Antiseptic, Listerine Toothpaste,

and Prophylactic Toothbrushes present America's

favorite family comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

So settle back in your easy chairs

and enjoy another delightful half hour with all the Nelsons.

Ozzie Nelson, of course, plays the part

of the head of the Nelson household, Ozzie.

And here is his lovely wife, Harriet Nelson,

who keeps the family on an even keel.

Hello, Harriet.

The smiling young teenager we now see

is David Nelson, older of the two Nelson boys

and played by David Nelson.

And here we have the youngest of the Nelsons,

the little guy with the twinkle in his eye,

Ricky Nelson, played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelsons' next door neighbor, Mr. Thornberry,

better known as Ozzie's pal Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

It's late afternoon as we look in on our friends, the Nelsons.

I wonder where everybody is.

There's Harriet in the kitchen.

Looks as if she's preparing dinner.

Don't she look pretty?

There's David and there's Ricky.

I guess Ozzie hasn't returned from his fishing trip yet.

You see, it all began at breakfast this morning.

The little radio in the kitchen was tuned to the news.

More news in just a moment.

But first, here's something for the men.

- Shall I leave the room?

- No.

I don't think that'll be necessary.

Gentlemen, there

have been rumors spreading around town

that the fishing is terrific up at beautiful Singing Lake.

And believe you me, gentlemen, these rumors are true.

I ought to know.

I started them.

- Boy, what a cornball.

No fooling, men.

You should see the fish up here.

The lake is thick with trout and bass,

every freshwater fish you can imagine.

Oh, boy, what fishing!

- He's a good talker, boy.

Excuse me a moment while I answer my phone.

Hello?

What?

Well, I'll certainly tell them, sir.

Man, that was Mr. Armbricker, president of the Singing Lake

Realty Corporation.

He wants you all to be his guests

at beautiful Singing Lake, with no obligation to you.

He says to come on up today.

Bring your fishing rods and just see how you like it.

- Why, what a line that guy's got.

Think of it, men,

a free fishing trip without obligation to buy a thing.

Why don't you come on up, see for yourself?

How about it, fellas?

- Will you turn that off when you get a chance, Harriet?

Listen carefully now, men,

and I'll tell you how to get here.

Do you have a pencil handy?

- Just a second, Harriet.

Might as well take these directions down, just in case.

- Did Pop get home yet, Mom?

- Not yet, dear.

I expect him any minute though.

- What are we having for dinner, Mom?

- Well, your Pop went fishing, so I'm thinking

we're having fish for dinner.

- Well, I bet he catches a lot, boy.

Pop's a good fisherman.

- Did he ever tell you about the time he caught that big marlin?

- No. Where was that?

- It was just off the coast of Florida, I think.

- Well, that's nothing.

Didn't he ever tell you about the time

he caught those four sharks?

- Well, your father's had some interesting experiences.

- Hasn't he ever told you any fish stories?

- Oh, he's probably told me a few.

Oh, I think I hear a car in the driveway.

That's probably your father now.

- I'll go out and help him carry in the fish.

- I think he's pretty optimistic.

Maybe Pop didn't catch any fish.

- Well, there's always a possibility.

It's one of the hazards of fishing.

He probably caught a few.

- Hi, Pop. - Oh.

- How much fish did you catch?

- Oh, not very many, son.

Here, will you give me a hand with this gear?

- Well, where are the fish?

- Well, it's kinda chilly out here.

Let's get in the house, son.

- Mom says we're having fish for dinner.

- Fish?

Gee, I was sort of counting on meatloaf.

- Oh, hello, dear.

- Hi, Pop.

- Did you have a good day? Yes.

It was very nice. Thank you.

- Well, we're all prepared for a nice fish dinner.

How many did you catch?

- Well, Harriet, you don't go fishing just to catch fish.

There are other elements involved.

Relaxation, the sunshine, and the exercise.

- In other words, you didn't catch any.

- Oh, now, don't jump to hasty conclusions.

I didn't catch a whole mess of them, but I did catch a fish.

- Did you catch a big one, Pop?

- Well, it's not exactly a whale,

but it's a nice medium size.

Very comfortable for a fish, I imagine.

See, where is it?

- Can't you even find it?

- Well, it's pretty dark in this basket.

Oh, here it is.

As I say, it's not awfully large.

Well, I imagine it's nice and tender.

- Why, sure.

Fry it in a little butter, put it on a cracker,

and I'll bet it's delicious.

- Well, honey, if they're not biting,

they're just not biting.

That's all there is to it.

- It's a nice-looking fish though, Pop.

- And it's pretty big considering how little it is.

- What happened, dear?

You were up there all day.

- Well, as I say, if they're not biting,

they're just not biting.

I think I caught the only fish in Singing Lake.

Then I had to snatch him off the hook

real fast before my bait ate him up.

- Pop? - Yeah?

- How come everybody was saying how good

the fishing was up there?

- Well, evidently, Dave, that was a rumor

started by the real estate agent.

Boy, if there'd been as many fish

as there were real estate salesmen, I'd have done OK.

- Oh, that's too bad.

All that preparation, you only caught one little fish.

- I'm just sorry that you folks were

counting on fish for dinner.

I didn't know it.

- Oh, we're going to have fish for dinner.

Let me show you something.

Look here.

- Oh, what a monster!

Where'd you get that?

- I caught it with some little green pieces of paper

at Gilhooley's Fish Market.

- Now, why couldn't I have caught a fish

like that instead of this little dinky thing I pulled out?

- Well, because you went fishing at Singing Lake instead

of Gilhooley's Fish Market.

- I can't understand it.

Singing Lake sounded like such a swell place, too.

- Oh, I found out why they call it Singing Lake.

I was serenaded by mosquitoes all afternoon.

- What were they singing?

- I think it was some little ditty called "All

Suckers I Found In the Water."

- Well, it's too bad, dear.

Well, at least you got a little sunshine.

- Yeah.

Singing Lake.

Look at these two fish.

Take a look at this beautiful big fish

your mother bought and then take a look at this little dinky

thing than I caught.

- They look like father and son.

- You ever seen such a small fish?

- What are you going to do with it, Pop?

- Oh, I don't know, Dave.

I may mount it on a Popsicle stick and carry it my wallet.

- You sure are a good sport, Pop.

A lot of guys would get sore because they

didn't catch a big fish.

- Well, there's no sense getting all riled up about it.

I ought to have my head examined for going all the up

there in the first place.

Let this be a lesson to you guys.

Never believe in rumors, particularly

if they're about fishing.

- What's a rumor, Pop?

- Oh, well, somebody says something to somebody else

and then this person passes it on.

The first thing you know, it's spread all over

and everybody's believing it.

Who starts rumors, Pop?

- Oh, nobody in particular and everybody in general.

- Could you start a rumor?

You bet I could.

I could start a rumor so fantastic you'd

swear nobody's believe it, and the first thing you know,

everybody'd be believing it.

- What, for instance, Pop?

- Well, let's think of a real wild one.

Oh, you know that little creek out past the Valley

called Mud Basin?

- Oh, sure. - Yeah.

Some of the guys even went swimming up there last year.

- OK.

Suppose I told a few people that there

was good fishing up there.

Before you could say "knife," there'd

be people from all over the neighborhood trying

to pull fish out of it.

- Oh, Pop.

There's no fish at Mud Basin.

Well, not only, what fish could stand it up there.

- That's exactly it.

We know there are no fish up there,

but I'll guarantee you, if I started a rumor to that effect,

people would be up there in droves.

- Oh, Pop, not Mud Basin.

Yes, Mud Basin.

- Hi, Oz. Oh.

Hi, Thorny. - Hi, boys.

Hi.

- Hey, what's this about Mud Basin?

- Oh, no. It's-- it's nothing important.

I was just discussing something with the boys.

- Holy smokes, oz!

What a beautiful fish.

- It is not a beauty-- - Hey.

Where'd you catch that?

- Oh, I wish I had.

Harriet bought it at Gilhooley's Fish Market.

- Oh.

Now, look, Oz, will you stop kidding?

I'm your friend.

Now, tell me where you caught it.

- Now, you see, boys?

This is the way rumors get started.

- Hey.

What's this, Oz?

- Oh, well, it's nothing.

It's too silly even to mention.

- Now wait a minute.

You were talking about Mud Basin just a minute ago.

- Oh, I was just explaining something to the boys.

- Yeah.

Pop said if he told people there were fish at Mud Basin,

everybody'd go up there.

- Oh, how do you like that, Oz? I'm your friend.

Now, why are you holding out on me?

- Thorny-- OK, Thorny, I admit it.

You're too smart for me.

- Boy, it's sure hard to believe that you actually caught

this big fish in Mud Basin.

- You know something?

I find it kinda hard to believe, too.

- Well, by golly, Oz, if you can do it, so can I. You know,

I think I'm gonna take a trip up there tomorrow real early.

- Well, good.

Only thing though, Thorny, if it so

happens you don't catch any fish, don't blame me.

Remember, I didn't tell you a thing.

- Oz, you can count on me.

Mum's the word.

Well, I gotta run along.

I wanna make sure that all my equipment's in good order.

And thanks, old boy, for the tip.

- Gee, Pop, he fell for it.

- Now, you see what I mean about rumors, boys?

Now, there's Mr. Thornberry, a man of average mentality,

by reasonable standards.

And yet he left here believing that the fish were

biting like mad at Mud Basin.

I'll guarantee, there hasn't been a fish

caught up there in 30 years.

- And you didn't actually tell him anything.

- I didn't tell him anything.

Not only that, I denied having caught the fish.

And I specifically denied having caught it at Mud Basin.

- Did you really catch it at Mud Basin, Pop?

- No, Ricky.

I didn't catch the fish at all.

But I'll guarantee you, by tomorrow evening,

this entire neighborhood will hear

about the wonderful fishing up at Mud Basin.

- Oh, but Mr. Thornberry said he wouldn't tell anybody.

- That's one of the peculiarities of fishermen.

They can't keep a secret for five minutes.

- Well, I'm gonna go upstairs and get dressed for dinner.

Will you take this for me, Dave?

- I've got some interesting news for you, dear.

It's in the nature of a secret. - Well, good.

Let's have it.

- You went fishing at the wrong place today.

- Oh, that's no secret.

- I know where you should've gone.

- Well, yeah.

I should've gone to the aquarium.

At least I would've seen some fish.

Where is this fisherman's paradise you heard about?

- Well, Catherine Thornberry told me that Thorny's planning

a hush-hush trip to Mud Basin in the morning and he won't say

anything more about it.

- Oh, Mud Basin, eh?

- Why don't you ask him.

Maybe he'll let you go with him.

- No.

I think I'll get me a salt shaker

and go bird hunting tomorrow.

- What's the big joke?

- Well, Harriet, a little while ago,

I was illustrating to the boys how rumors get started.

- Was it that funny? - No.

Listen to me.

You know that big beautiful fish you bought at the market?

- Yeah.

- Well, Thorny left here thinking that I caught that

at Mud Basin.

- Oh, Ozzie Nelson, that's terrible.

Why, Thorny'll spend the whole day up there

and won't catch a thing.

- Well, so what?

He'll get a nice wet--

I mean, he'll have fun, and he'll be very much smarter

as a result.

- I don't know.

It's strange, though.

You know, Thorny told Catherine that it was very logical

that there'd be fish up at Mud Basin

because nobody's fished there for 30 years.

- Well, yes.

That's what I told him.

- Well, he figured, lying foul that long,

it'd be filled with fish by now.

- Oh, no, no.

Harriet, I've never even heard of anybody fishing up there.

I mean, everybody just naturally accepts the story

that there are no fish up there.

- Well, then, now you've got me confused.

You mean somebody started a rumor that there

are no fish at Mud Basin?

- Well, I suppose it could be a rumor at that.

Oh, have you ever seen Mud Basin?

No.

There couldn't possibly be any fish up there.

At least, I don't think so.

Ozzie and Harriet will be back in just a moment.

Last night, Ozzie Nelson went to bed

with a disturbing problem on his mind.

He was upset.

He was troubled.

He was worried.

The problem?

Are there fish in Mud Basin or aren't there?

12:30 and no sleep for Ozzie.

He tossed.

- Heads, there are fish.

Tails, there aren't.

1:00, but still no sleep for Ozzie.

He rolls over and tries sleeping on his side for a while.

Are there fish in Mud Basin or aren't there?

He rolls up into a ball.

Look out, Oz.

There he goes.

It's 2:00.

He's back in bed again, but still no sleep for Ozzie.

Are there fish in Mud Basin or aren't there?

Fish, fish.

Are there really fish in Mud Basin?

His weary head pressed into the pillow,

his problems solved till morning, asleep at last.

Good night, Oswald.

- Ozzie, would you like some more coffee

or toast or anything?

- No thanks. Plenty.

Thanks.

- Now, who could that be this early in the morning?

- Hello? - Hello, Harriet.

It's Mary.

- Oh, hello, Mary.

It's Mary Dunkle.

Say, has Ozzie gone fishing yet?

- Well, he went fishing yesterday.

- Well, I've heard of the most wonderful place to go fishing.

They tell me you have to hide behind a tree

to bait your hook.

- Mary says she's heard of a wonderful place to go fishing.

Where is it, Mary?

Well, I knew Ozzie'd want to know about it.

It's a place called Mud Basin.

- Are you sure, Mary?

Mud Basin?

- Absolutely positive.

Two gentlemen from down the street went early this morning

and they just came home loaded.

- Yes, but did they catch any fish?

- Yes, dear.

That's what I just said.

Tell her we know there aren't any fish there.

- Mary, believe us there aren't any fish in Mud Basin.

Ozzie started the rumor, so we know.

Oh, well, did Ozzie go fishing up there?

- No. No.

We had fish for dinner last night,

but I bought it at the market.

- Are they selling the fish from Mud Basin in the market?

No. Now, listen, Mary.

I'll tell you how the whole thing started.

- Harriet, here comes Mr. Canfield

from across the street.

He's got the fish he caught draped

across the fender of his car like a deer.

Goodness sake. All right.

Excuse me, Harriet, I want to go over and talk to him.

Goodbye, dear.

- Hey, Pop.

You should've seen what I just seen.

- No, no, no. Saw.

- You should've saw what I just seen.

- No, no, no. Seen.

Saw.

- You should've seen saw what I just-- that don't sound right.

- That doesn't sound right.

- That's what I said.

It don't sound right. - OK.

It don't sound right.

What was it you seen?

- A big fishQ A whopper, boy.

Mr. Landau caught it down at Mud Basin.

Hey, David.

Oh, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, hi, Emmy Lou.

- I've got something for you.

- Oh, good.

Holy smokes.

Where did you get that fish?

- Daddy sent it over.

It's for you.

Isn't it a beauty?

- Oh.

Well, that's one of the biggest fish I've ever seen.

- Daddy went fishing today, and he brought this home.

- Wow.

Where did he catch it?

Don't tell me.

- Oh, well, I'll tell you.

It was at Mud Basin.

Isn't it a beauty?

- Mud Basin?

Well, this is one of the biggest fish I've ever seen.

- Oh, no, Mr. Nelson this was the smallest one Daddy caught.

- He caught more?

- Three?

- Only three?

- He said he would've had better luck if he'd been closer

to the water. He was in the third row.

He probably rented one of the boats.

- Holy smokes.

What a beautiful big fish.

- Look, there's Mr. Thornberry.

Yoo-hoo, Mr. Thornberry!

I didn't know he had a brown car.

- Well, he doesn't usually.

He's been fishing at Mud Basin, too.

- Well, I guess I better be going.

- OK. Thanks for the fish, Emmy Lou.

- Oh, one nice thing about a fish, you

don't have to clean it.

It's been in the water.

Bye.

- Wow.

This is fantastic.

Hey, Oz!

- Hi, Thorny.

I'll be right with you.

Mud Basin!

- Hi, Oz, old boy.

- Any luck up at Mud Basin, Thorny?

- Nope.

- No, luck, huh?

- Well, nothing that I'd call lucky.

- Oh, for goodness sakes, Thorny,

about five beautiful fish!

I thought you said no luck.

- No luck, Oz.

All skill.

- You caught these at Mud Basin?

- Yep.

And you were sure right about the fish up there, Oz.

They were biting like crazy. Hey, wait a minute.

Where'd you get that beauty?

- Oh, this.

Oh, well, I was just standing in the kitchen

there, trying out my rod and reel.

- Now, I wait a minute, Oz.

That's stretching a point too far.

- No.

Emmy Lou came over and gave me this.

Her father caught it at Mud Basin.

Isn't it a beauty? - Oh, sure.

I saw him up there.

You know, Oz, frankly, at first, I thought you were crazy.

But, boy, you sure had the dope on those fish.

Here, take a look at these.

- You caught these Mud Basin?

- That's right.

Mud Basin.

- You're sure it was Mud Basin?

- Sure, I'm sure.

And Oz, I wanna thank you again for the tip.

- Mud Basin.

- Mud Basin.

Mud Basin.

- Yeah.

- I hate to break up this sparkling conversation, Oz,

but I wanna go in and show Catherine my fish.

See you later.

Catherine, here comes..

- Mud Basin...

Honey, did you put my boots away?

- No, they're still out in the garage.

Why?

- Well, you won't believe this, but I'm

going fishing up at Mud Basin.

- What?

- I'll probably have a heck of a time finding a seat up there.

A fine friend this Thorny turned out to be.

- What are you talking about?

- Well, I let him in on a good thing

out of the bigness of my heart, tell him a secret,

and what does he do but blab it all over.

First thing you know, the whole town

is up there, pulling out my fish by the hundreds.

- You aren't serious, are you?

- Yes.

Emmy Lou's father, Joe Randolph, Thorny.

They all went up there, made tremendous catches,

and not a one of them even had the decency

to invite me to go along with them.

And you're actually going to fish at Mud Basin?

- You're darn right I am.

I'll be back in about two hours.

Have the cracker crumbs ready.

- But Ozzie, you started the rumor, remember?

To prove a point to the boys.

- Harriet, if I ever start a rumor the sky is falling,

take to the caves.

- Come on in, Thorny.

- Hello, Harriet. - Hi, Thorny.

- Where's Oz?

- Oh, he took off for Mud Basin a couple of hours ago.

- Oh, did he?

- Mhm. He was out of here like a shot.

I understand you caught quite a few fish at Mud Basin.

- Yes. Yes, I did.

At least that's what I like to have Oz believe.

- Well, now, what do you mean by that?

- Well, Harriet, just between you and me,

I bought them all at Gilhooley's Fish Market.

- I thought you caught them at Mud Basin.

- Believe me, Harriet, there are no fish in Mud Basin.

- Well, Thorny, every man in the neighborhood's

been up there to catch fish.

- Well, what do you mean to say is

that you've seen a lot of men coming home with fish.

Now, coming home with them, yes.

But catching them up at Mud Basin?

No.

- Well, what about Emmy Lou's father, Mr. Randolph,

and all the rest of them?

- Well, Old Man Gilhooley told me this is the biggest

day in the history of the fish market,

thanks to your lovable husband and his fiendish new sense

of humor.

- Poor Ozzie, victim of his own rumor.

- Harriet, I can't tell you how sorry I feel.

As a matter of fact, I can't wait till I tell Oz.

- Well, looks like you won't have to wait long.

That sounds like him at the back door now.

- Oh.

Hi, Oz. - Oh.

Hi, Thorny.

- Any luck?

- No.

I guess I'm just not as good a fisherman as you are.

- Well, that's too bad, Oz.

Better luck tomorrow.

- Sat out there for two hours.

All I caught was--

I'll show it to you.

Just this little fella.

- Holy smokes, Ozzie, you caught a monster!

What a tremendous fish.

You mean you caught that in Mud Basin?

- Well, why are you so surprised?

You caught five up there.

- Well, yeah, Oz, but nothing that big.

- Well, I imagine your five totalled together

weight almost as much as this one.

There's some paper over there by the refrigerator.

Will you spread it out on the table?

- Oh, Ozzie, what a beautiful fish!

- Oh, thank you, dear.

- Now, look, Oz.

You really didn't catch that at Mud Basin?

- All right. Now, stop gloating.

OK.

You got five and I only got three,

but this is a pretty big one.

- This is fantastic.

- Oh, what a struggle he put up, Thorny.

I'm tired out.

Will you come outside and give me a hand?

I wanna bring the other two in.

My wheelbarrow's broken.

- Oz, let's hurry up.

I wanna get back up there before it gets dark.

- Pop said he'd be right down, Mom.

He's just changing his clothes.

- Oh, well, that's good.

Dinner's just about ready.

- Boy, that sure was a big fish Pop caught.

- Yeah. It sure was.

- I bet it weighs as much as you do, Ricky.

- Maybe so, but I have a nicer face.

- That's debatable.

- That rumor sure turned out to be true.

- Well, your father's a pretty amazing fellow.

Did you call me, Harriet?

- No, dear.

- Sure takes a wonderful fisherman

to catch a fish as big as that one.

- Oh, the size of it was nothing.

There's something much more amazing than that.

- What's that, Mom?

- Well, in a mud hole miles from the ocean,

your father caught a saltwater bass.

Ozzie and Harriet will be back in just a moment.

- Hello?

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Well, I'll ask him.

He's right here.

- Something the matter?

- It's Mr. Gilhooley at the fish market.

He says business was so good yesterday

that he's willing to pay you a commission if you'll

start a rumor the trout are running at Dry Water Creek.

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Next week, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky--

Will be brought to you by Hotpoint Quality Appliances.

Remember, look to Hotpoint for the finest, first.

The part of Emmy Lou was played by Janet Waldo.

Don't forget that a completely different episode

of "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heart every Friday night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for time and radio station.

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This dread disease will strike one person in every five.

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