Original subtitles

- Hi, everybody.

I'm Harriet Nelson.

You know, I think one of the most wonderful features

of my Hotpoint range is the thrift cooker that can

be used for deep fat frying.

It's just wonderful for frying donuts

and French fried potatoes and oh so many things.

- It's good for frying shrimps, too, isn't it, Mom?

- Don't get personal, David.

- Hotpoint quality appliances presents

America's favorite family comedy,

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And of course, his lovely wife Harriet as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys, David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother, the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Yes, sir, spring is here again.

Isn't it a wonderful time of year?

The flowers come into bloom.

The birds start to sing again.

It's a happy season.

A season for frolicking and playing in the park.

A season for family picnics with dad and mother and the kids.

And most of all, a season for falling in love.

Yes, spring is a wonderful time of year.

No wonder the poets write beautiful poems about it.

Happy, carefree, romantic spring we bid you welcome.

- Out in back of the Nelson's house

there's usually some extra activity

along about this time of year, too.

The three Nelson boys--

David, Ricky and the biggest boy, Ozzie,

who should know better--

Get out the old baseball equipment

and start throwing and batting a ball around.

- Hey, that looks like fun.

Oh, careful now, Ozzie, you're not

getting any younger you know.

- I hope you know I was safe.

- You were out.

- I was not, I was safe!

You got to touch me with the ball.

You haven't touched me. - Oh, I did.

- You did not.

I was safe a mile.

- Oh, you were out, Pop.

- I was not.

You guys need a pair of spectacles each.

- I think you need a new pair of pants.

- Well, I think I had enough.

- Aw, aren't you going to play any more, Pop?

- No, no.

Thanks very much for the game, boys.

- OK, Pop.

- Oh, hi.

- Oh!

Ozzie, where'd you get all that mud?

- Oh, there's plenty more outside if you want some.

- Oh no, no, you don't.

You're not going to track that much

through my nice clean house.

- Well, I'm just coming in the kitchen here to get a sandwich.

- No, sir.

I've told the boys time and time again

not to come in the house with their dirty old shoes,

and now look at your clothes.

- Are you subtly trying to get rid of me?

- That's exactly what I'm trying to do.

- I can see that the coming of spring

doesn't affect you the same as it affects me.

- Well, I must admit, dear, you look irresistible.

But really, I have to get lunch.

Now, why don't you go outside and play some more mud pies

and I'll call you when lunch is ready.

- That'll just about give me enough time.

- Time for what?

- Oh, wouldn't you like to know?

- Hi, Thorny. - Hi, Ozzie.

Hi.

- Beautiful day isn't it? - Well, not bad.

Not bad.

Say, you just reminded me.

I have to order some fertilizer for our garden.

- You can't make me mad, Thorny, not

on a beautiful day like this. - No?

On second thought, Oz, maybe you better

come over and stand in our flower garden

when you brush your clothes off.

- I got playing baseball with the kids

and I slid into home plate and it was just a little muddy.

But these are my old clothes.

- Well, I hope so.

- Hey, would you like to take a walk downtown with me?

- Don't tell me you're going downtown looking like that.

- Well, yeah, lunch is going to be ready in a couple of minutes

and I want to go down there and buy Harriet

a little bunch of violets.

- Yeah?

What's the occasion?

- Oh, there's no special occasion.

It's just that, you know, it's spring and romance

is in the air, and well, when Harriet and I were first

going out together see I couldn't afford anything else,

so on all these occasions I used to buy

her a little bunch of violence.

And I just continued it along as sort of a sentimental little

family tradition.

You understand.

- Sure, sure, Oz.

But gee, after all these years you

ought to have a little dough saved up.

Why don't you break down and buy her something

that she'll really appreciate like, well, like an orchid.

- Orchid?

- Yeah.

- Who do you think I am, Cranston Poole?

- Cranston Poole?

What is that, some summer resort?

- A guy that Harriet and I used to know.

He used to send Harriet orchids all the time.

- He sounds like a pretty nice guy to me.

- You wouldn't say that if you could see him.

Really a silly looking guy.

- What did he look like?

- Oh, he had a nose and two eyes.

- Nose and eyes?

Yeah, really must have been silly looking.

- If you must know the truth, I've

never seen the guy in my life.

- Well, he's probably a very nice fellow.

Well, anyway, Thorny, with all his dough and all his orchids,

Harriet married me.

- Hiya, Pop.

You want to play some baseball?

- Oh, well, thanks, son, but I'm going

to take a little walk downtown and buy something

for your mother. - Can I go with you?

- Well, you have to change your clothes first and get

a little cleaned up.

- Well, what about you?

You look like you just got run over

by Cranston Poole and his stud Bearcat.

- Well, maybe you're right, Thorny.

OK Rick, we'll make it a "go as you are party."

Better put the glove away, though.

- OK.

- Well, I'll see you then, Thorny.

- OK, Oz.

Remember, don't stand too close to any seeds.

You might wind up with a row of sweet peas

growing right out of your pocket.

- Oh, just a second before I go.

Do me a favor. You mind if I borrow this?

- No.

- Don't look so worried.

You look as if you're afraid I won't give this back to you.

- Well, that's just it. I'm afraid you will.

- Do you have any violets?

- Violets?

Yes, I believe we do.

- I'd like to buy some, please.

- These are all we have.

I'm afraid they aren't very fresh.

- Oh, they're OK.

- You sure you wouldn't prefer something else?

- No, no, no. Violets will be fine.

- I should have kept them in the refrigerator

but we had a shipment of orchids and there was no room.

- Oh, how much are they?

- The orchids?

- No, no.

No, the violets.

- Oh, yes.

Yes, of course.

Well they usually sell for $0.50 a bunch,

but these are little wilted so shall we say $0.35.

- 35?

I hope you'll forgive my appearance.

I didn't get a chance to change my clothes before I came down.

- Oh, don't apologize.

You look fine.

After all, we are both working men.

- Oh, well, no.

I haven't exactly been working.

- Oh, well, then shall we say $0.20 for the violets?

- I thought you said 35.

- Yes, but they're really so wilted.

20 cents is about all their worth.

- Well, whatever you say.

I don't want you to cheat yourself.

- Why don't you pay me later?

- I have some change right, right here.

Oh, here we are.

Here's 10, 15, 16.

- 16 cents will be enough.

They're really so wilted.

- No, I have a couple more.

Do you have a couple of pennies there, son?

- Yes, sir.

- Oh, thank you.

- That's enough.

- I know I had another.

Oh, for goodness sake's.

Dropped in the cuff of my pants.

I left my wallet in my other pants.

I'm sorry to cause you all this trouble.

- I'll have the violets delivered this afternoon.

- Oh, that won't be necessary.

I can take them right along with me.

- But there's no extra charge for delivery,

and it makes the gift so much more exciting.

- Oh, yes, I guess it does at that.

- Now, if you'll just fill out this delivery form.

Just write down your name and address.

- Now, you just tell me your name and address

and I'll write it down for you.

You see, this pen is a little leaky.

Oh, that's OK.

A couple more spots on these clothes

wouldn't even be noticed.

- Very good.

- Well, I hope you won't go out of your way delivering these.

- Oh, not at all.

- Well, thanks for everything.

- It's a pleasure.

- Come along, son.

- Just remember, be sure to drop by whenever

you feel that you can.

- Thanks again.

- Orville.

- Yes, dear?

- Who was that?

- Just a customer.

- Didn't look like a customer to me.

Did he buy anything?

- Yes, he bought a bunch of violets for his wife.

- What are you smiling about?

- Martha, I'm going to spread a little sunshine today.

- What's this?

- Oh, you should have seen that poor devil scraping

his last few pennies together.

- So what?

I'm going to give them a wonderful surprise.

Instead of those mangy little violets,

I'm going to send them two beautiful orchids.

- If you're going to hand out orchids to every bum that walks

in here...

- He was not a bum.

- He looked like a bum to me.

- Oh, I'm surprised at you, Martha.

It's not going to break us just to bring a little happiness

into some woman's life.

- Orville, come here.

You've been drinking again, haven't you?

- You know very well that I haven't had

a drink since New Year's Eve.

And what's more, I'm getting very fed

up with this ugly disposition of yours.

The trouble with you, Martha, is you're

not sensitive and romantic like I am.

- Romantic?

Ha!

How can you be romantic in a place like this?

Nothing but flowers day in and day out.

Flowers, flowers, flowers!

- Oh, shut up!

- That you, boys?

- No, dear, it's your old sweetheart Ozzie.

- Well, hello there, sweetheart.

I've been looking for you.

- Isn't it wonderful?

Spring is really here.

- Yes, I guess it is.

- Here I come looking for you, here

you are, dear, waiting for me.

- Well, I'm glad you found me, dear.

- Oh thanks.

I'm glad you found me, too.

- So am I. Ozzie?

- Yes, dear.

What is it you're trying to tell me?

That you missed me and you're happy I'm home again?

- Well, yes, dear.

The sink is stopped up.

- Oh, the-- fine.

- In the upstairs bath.

- Harriet, how can you be so unromantic at a time like this?

- What's this all about?

- Well, I'll tell you this much.

I went downtown and I bought you a little surprise.

- Oh, how wonderful. What is it?

- No, no, no.

I'm not going to tell you anything more.

It'll be arriving in just a little while.

- Oh, how nice.

What's the occasion?

- Oh, it's no occasion.

It's just that spring is in the air.

My fancy has turned to thoughts of love.

Well, where's the plunger?

- Ozzie and Harriet will be back in just a moment.

- OK, thanks a lot.

Hey, Mom!

Oh, here's a box for you.

- For me?

Oh, aren't they just gorgeous?

- What are they?

- Well, they're orchids.

Aren't they beautiful?

- There's no smell to them.

- Well, there isn't supposed to be

but they're very expensive flowers.

- It cost a lot to take the smell out, huh?

- Not exactly, but they're very special flowers.

- You going to put those in your refrigerator mom?

- Oh, sure.

That's what you always do with orchids, put them

in the refrigerator.

- Can I have a cookie?

- Well, just one.

- Gee, they're awful small, Mom.

- Well, all right, you can have a couple.

- Hey, Ricky?

- OK.

I gotta play baseball, Mom.

- Well, don't get all muddy again.

- Did I hear somebody mention my name?

- Well, if it isn't Mr. Romance himself.

- Oh, you got my little surprise.

- Oh, the flowers are beautiful, dear.

- Oh, thanks very much.

It was really nothing.

Just a little thought.

- Why, they're the most beautiful orchids

I've ever seen.

- No, no, no.

Those aren't orchids, they're violets.

Aren't they beautiful violets?

They look like orchids, don't they?

- Oh, no. Look here, dear, I'll show you.

These are orchids.

Aren't they lovely?

- Harriet, I didn't send you those.

I sent you violets.

- Are you sure?

- Well, of course.

I always send you violets.

I never send you orchids and for a darn good reason.

- Then who are these from?

- This is ridiculous.

You haven't heard from Cranston Poole for years.

- Who?

- Cranston Poole.

You know, the rich guy who always

used to send you orchids.

- Oh, yes.

Cranston Poole.

- Well, he's got a lot of nerve.

He knows darn well you've been happily married all these years

and yet he sends you these darn orchids.

- What makes you so sure these are from Cranston Poole?

- Well, who else would have that much crust?

- Oh, well look, dear, if it upsets you

so much I'll throw them away.

- Oh, never mind.

That won't be necessary.

Wait until my violets arrive.

You'll see how nice they are.

- Oh, darling, I like anything you send me.

- Well, of course, you always liked violets.

Cranston Poole used to send you orchids

and take you driving in his expensive automobile

and take you out to dinner and dancing

in these expensive places.

But you fluffed him right off.

You wouldn't even give him time of day.

I was the guy you married.

- Yes, you were.

- Why was that?

- Well, you were more--

- That's a good enough reason for me.

- Well, dear, I really think you're

getting upset about nothing.

I'm going to go get dressed.

You put these in the refrigerator.

- What are you doing, Oz?

- For goodness sake's, Thorny, what's

the idea of sneaking up behind a person like that?

- Oh, I wasn't sneaking up behind you.

What was that you put in there?

- Nothing important.

Just a couple of orchids.

- Oh, well, OK.

Just as long as there wasn't anything

valuable like grapefruit rinds or coffee grounds.

Hey, Oz, wait a minute.

You look like you lost your best friend.

What's the matter?

- Oh, I might as well tell you, Thorny.

Something's happened that's very disturbing.

- Yeah?

What's that?

- Come on in the kitchen, I'll tell you about it.

- After you, Oz.

- It's enough to drive a man to drink.

Care for a little drink, Thorny?

- I'm with you, Oz.

Anything you say.

- I could stand a little pick me up myself.

What'll you have?

The homogenized or the skim?

- Really hits the spot.

Now, what's it all about, Oz?

- Well, remember my mentioning a guy named Cranston Poole,

the guy with greasy hair, rich man's son

used to wear flashy clothes and drive around in a big car

and send Harriet orchids all the time?

- Sure, Oz.

What about old Cranston?

- Thorny, you won't believe this.

He sent Harriet some orchids today.

- Hmm.

Oh, so that's why you threw them away.

I didn't even know Cranston Poole was in town.

- Well, neither did I until the orchids arrived.

Probably come honking around here any minute

now in his big flashy convertible

and his fancy clothes and his greasy hair.

- Are you positive he sent the orchids?

- Oh, sure, Thorny.

Who else would pull a stunt like that?

- Well, maybe he didn't.

- Well, I'll tell you what, why don't you call the florist shop

and find out?

You must still know which shop they came from.

- Yes, I know what shop they came from.

That's one of the things that hacks me.

It came from Orville's Flower Shop.

That's the same place I bought the violets.

His orchids arrived and my violets haven't shown up yet.

How's that for irony?

- Why don't you call a flower shop and find out?

- I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

- Well, I see what you mean.

Well, Oz, you suit yourself.

Best be running along.

- Sure you don't want just one more for the road?

- Oh, no, no, no.

That's plenty.

Well, cheer up, old boy.

Now look, are you sure you don't want to call the flower shop?

- No, no, Thorny.

I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

- OK.

- Hey, Oz.

- For goodness sake's, Thorny, can't a man even

phone the operator to find out what time it

is without you sneaking back in here spying on him?

- Sneaking back in here?

Oz, I resent that.

- You deny it?

- No, but I resent it.

I have a very good reason for coming back in here.

Oz, it's OK for you to use my shotgun.

- Use your shotgun? For what?

- Oh, I just thought maybe you want

to shoot a little Pool tonight.

I'll see you later, Oz.

Oh, and don't forget to disguise your voice.

- Hello.

- Hello.

I'd like to get some information, please.

Do you remember sending some flowers to Nelson?

They were orchids.

- Yeah, it's my husband took the order.

- Fine.

Well, I know this is rather unusual but could you describe

the man who bought the flowers?

- Well, he was rather--

Well, his clothes weren't too--

He was a bum.

- Bum?

- Well, not exactly a bum.

He just looked like one.

- What kind of a face did he have?

- Well, I was out in the back room.

I couldn't see him too well, but he needed a shave

and had on some old dirty clothes.

Are you a social worker?

- No.

No.

You might say an old friend.

I never dreamed he was down and out.

- Well, if you want to send him some flowers

we have a lovely selection.

- Oh, yes.

Yes, I know.

Well, thank you very much.

Good bye.

- Ozzie?

- Oh, yeah, Harriet?

- Aren't you going to get dressed for dinner?

- Oh, yes.

Sit down for a minute, would you, dear?

I'm terribly concerned about something.

- About what?

- Well, about Cranston Pool.

- What about him?

- Well, I've been thinking.

We've just assumed all along that he's still

the wealthy playboy he used to be.

Has it ever occurred to you he might have suffered

financial reverses and he sent us

these pitiful little orchids as a gallant gesture

to friends in his hour of need?

- Oh, I don't think so.

- Well, don't ask me why but I have a strange feeling

that he needs us.

If only I knew where to find him.

- Well, that's a beautiful thought,

dear, except for one thing.

Cranston Pool didn't send me the orchids.

- Who did?

- You.

- I did?

Whatever gave you that idea?

- Well, I was naturally curious so I phoned the florist shop

and asked the woman to describe the man who sent them to me.

I'm surprised you didn't think of that, dear.

- And you recognized me from her description?

- Well, naturally.

- Well, this is fantastic.

- What's fantastic about it?

Naturally I recognize my own husband.

- How did she describe me?

- Oh, she said a nice looking young man with wavy brown hair

and flashing blue eyes and a romantic smile

and the carefree, disheveled, debonair look about him.

Naturally I knew it was you.

- Naturally.

- Wasn't it smart of me to phone and find out?

- Oh, yeah.

You know something, Harriet?

I just this moment realized how smart you really are.

- I don't mess around, boy.

- Ozzie and Harriet will be back in just a moment.

- Harriet, wouldn't it be funny if Cranston Pool were in town?

- I hardly think that's possible.

- What makes you so sure?

- Well, I'll let you in on a little secret.

There's no such person.

There never was.

- What are you talking about?

- I made him up.

I got the name out of a book I read in high school.

- Well then who sent you all those orchids you used to get?

- Did you ever see any?

- No.

- I never got any.

- Harriet?

- Yes, dear?

- What day does the man come round and empty those trash

cans we've got out in back?

- Day after tomorrow.

- That's what I thought.

I've got a surprise for you.

You're going to get two beautiful orchids tomorrow.

- Next week, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

will be brought to you by prophylactic toothbrushes,

Listerine toothpaste and Listerine, the most widely

used antiseptic in the world.

- The florist was played by Alan Mowbray.

The florist's wife was Janette Nolan.

Don't forget that a completely different episode

of "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for time and radio station.