Original subtitles

Hotpoint Quality Appliances presents

America's favorite family comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet," starring the entire Nelson

family; Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky.

So settle back in your easy chairs

and enjoy another delightful half-hour with all the Nelsons.

Ozzie Nelson, of course, plays the part

of the head of the Nelson household, Ozzie.

And here is his lovely wife, Harriet Nelson,

who keeps the family on an even keel.

Hello, Harriet.

The smiling young teenager we now see

is David Nelson, older of the two Nelson boys,

and played by David Nelson.

And here we have the youngest of the Nelsons,

the little guy with the twinkle in his eye,

Ricky Nelson, played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next-door neighbor, Mr. Thornberry,

better known as Ozzie's pal, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

- Oh, boy.

How much does that give us all together?

- Exactly $4.10.

- Don't forget half of it's mine.

- Who said it wasn't?

- What does my share come to?

- What's the matter?

Can't you divide?

- Well, sure.

- OK, what's half of $4.10?

- Let's see.

Half of 10 is 5.

Oh, boy! $4.05!

- I guess that answers my question.

- What do you mean?

- Your share is $2.05.

- Details.

Always details.

- I think that's pretty good.

- Same here.

- It takes a lot of willpower to save money, you know.

- Now that we've got all this money,

what are we going to do with it?

- Save some more, naturally.

- Not me.

I'm going to spend mine, boy.

- I just got through saying it takes a lot of willpower

to save money.

- Yeah, that's what you said.

- Well, evidently you haven't got any.

- So what?

Whatever it takes to spend money.

I got a lot of that, boy.

- We don't want to spend it.

We want to save some more.

- What good is money if you don't spend it?

- Save it for a rainy day.

- I've already got a raincoat.

I want a periscope.

- A what?

- A periscope.

They sell them down at the drugstore.

- What do you want a periscope for?

- They're neat, boy.

You can see around corners with them.

- What's so wonderful about that?

- Well, I can tell if Mom's in the kitchen when I

want to get some extra cookies.

- What's this about getting some extra cookies?

You weren't supposed to hear that, Mom.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I'll whistle the next time before I come in.

- Ricky wants to buy a periscope.

- Oh, you mean one of those little ones

I saw advertised in the paper?

- They're not so little, Mom.

Iggy Schwartz has one, and it works well.

- Is this a slight hint for an advance in your allowance?

- Oh, no.

I've got a lot of money saved up.

- Yeah, and now he wants to spend it all.

- How much have you saved?

- $2.05.

- Oh.

Well, that's quite a bit for a periscope.

You won't have any money left then at all, you know.

- Yes, I know.

- Personally, I'd rather carry it

around my wallet for a few days. - Not me.

I'd rather spend it.

Then I wouldn't have to worry about a wallet.

- Well, of course it's your money,

but it does seem like an awful lot to waste on a toy.

- Well, it isn't exactly a toy, Mom.

There's a picture of it in the paper.

- Yes, dear, I see it.

- I think it's a waste of money.

- Oh, they're having quite a sale at the emporium.

Here's that fishing reel your father's always talking about.

- Have they cut the price on it?

- They sure did.

- I hope he gets it, boy.

- What do you care?

- Well, heck, I don't want to be the only

big spender in the family.

I'll get lonesome.

- For goodness sakes.

Look at the sale they're having.

All these beautiful dresses at half price.

You know, I think I may take a run down to the emporium

a little later.

This sale looks too good to miss.

- Mom?

- Yes, dear?

- You think I could have an advance on my allowance?

- What's the matter?

Can't you last until payday?

- Oh, sure, I can.

I'm just worried about the money.

Ozzie?

- Oh, hi.

- My goodness.

I was under the impression that March 15th has passed.

- Well, yes, of course it is.

- What are you doing with all those papers?

Did you make a mistake or something?

- Uh, well, if I did, we won't know about it

until the government agents come pounding at the door.

- Don't worry about it.

I won't let them in.

- Well, anyway, it's too late to moan about last year's taxes.

I'm just trying to see if I can't do something about this

year's.

You know, make things a little easier.

- Oh?

Well, what's your verdict?

- Well, I figure we'll just about make it

if we follow my plan.

- What's your plan?

- Uh, that we don't eat for the next 12 months.

- That's liable to be a little bit difficult.

You've got any other recommendations, professor?

- Uh, well, yes, I do think we should cut our spending down

to the absolute necessities for the next few months.

- What do you mean?

- Well, it's just that we are a little tight here,

and I don't think we should make any purchases that we

don't absolutely need.

- Well, suppose there's a special sale

with some wonderful buys.

- Oh, Harriet, there's always a wonderful sale

of one sort or another.

I'm sure we can forego those things for a while, can't we?

- Well...

- It isn't the situation is desperate,

it's just I like to have a little margin in case

of an emergency of some sort.

- I expect you're right.

- Oh, is that this morning's paper?

- Yes, it is.

- Oh, did you see that article about the March 15th hangover?

- No, I didn't.

- It's pretty good.

Oh, here it is.

This reporter calls himself "Diogenes."

- Oh, he's the fellow who was looking for an honest man,

wasn't he?

- Yeah, well, this guy says he's looking for a taxpayer who

can honestly say that he paid his taxes

and has faced the situation with a smile.

- Sounds like he's looking for a dishonest man.

- Yeah, I hope he has plenty of kerosene in the lantern.

Looks like a long search, if you ask me.

Oh, say, look at the time.

- Did you have something special to do?

- Uh, yeah, I thought I'd go over and see Andy Beasley.

- Andy Beasley? - You remember him.

He's the large brother who broke his leg in that skiing

accident a few weeks ago.

I told you about it.

- Oh, yes.

Well, how is he doing?

- Oh, as well as can be expected, I guess.

I thought I'd take a little run over there

and kind of cheer him up a bit.

- Hiya, Mom. Hiya, Pop.

- Hi, Mom, Pop. - Oh, hello, boys.

- We saved up some money. - Yeah, over $2.00.

- Oh, good for you.

I hate to rush off, boys, but I'm a little bit

late for an appointment. I'll see you later.

- So long, Pop.

- Goodbye, dear.

- How come Pop's in such a hurry?

- I bet he's going down to the emporium

to buy that fishing reel.

- No, I'm afraid you're wrong there.

In fact, your father and I just had a little talk

about money matters.

- You mean he isn't going to buy the fishing reel?

- No, I'm afraid not.

- Aren't you going to buy anything?

- Well, not for the present at any rate.

We've decided to limit ourselves to the necessities

until the family bankroll gets in a little better shape.

- See, Ricky? I told you.

- Golly.

- What's the matter, dear?

- Well, heck, I'm the lonesomest guy in town.

- Come in.

- Andy?

- Ozzie!

I wondered who that was.

Come on in and sit down.

- I just thought I'd come over and see

how you're getting along. - Oh, fine.

Just fine. What do you got there?

- Oh, I just brought a little something for you.

- Oh, well, that was mighty thoughtful, Oz.

Oh, a basket of fruit!

- Yeah, I thought you'd might like an apple or a banana

to munch on while you're lying here.

- Oh, well, swell, Oz.

Just put it over there on the table.

- OK.

Oh, uh, doesn't seem to be much room here.

- Oh, well, just move that one with the bananas

over to the left, huh?

And shift that one a little.

That's it.

- There we are.

- Now, sit down and take a load off your mind, huh?

- OK, fine.

Gee, we were terribly shocked to hear about your accident.

- Well, it's just one of those things, Oz.

- Yeah, Harriet was saying just the other day

it must be tough on a guy who's as active as you are

to be incapacitated like this.

- Well, it was my own fault. It was just plain carelessness.

- You were skiing, weren't you?

- Well, not exactly.

We had gone up to the lake to do a little skiing,

but it was such a beautiful day that I

decided to string up the hammock and take a little snooze.

Before I knew what was happening,

I'd fallen out of the darn thing,

and there I was lying in the snow with a broken leg.

- How about that?

- I just gotten it strung up, too.

Darn thing threw me like bucking bronco.

- Isn't that amazing?

It sure was a tough break.

- You know, Oz, at first I thought it was, too.

But I've begun to realize it was really a blessing in disguise.

- Oh, well, that's a good attitude.

- It's more than that, Oz.

Lying here with a lot of time to think things over

has given me a whole new sense of values.

It makes you realize how foolish it

is to knock yourself out worrying about a lot of things

that never happen.

- Yeah, I suppose you're right.

- Yeah, in the last two weeks, I've

read a few books that I've always wanted to read,

listened to the radio, looked at television.

Sometimes I've just set by the hour and looked out the window.

But best of all, it's given me a chance

to really think things out, and I've

come to one definite conclusion.

From now on, I'm going to enjoy life.

- Well, Andy, that's a great philosophy,

if you can afford it.

- Oh, I don't mean you have to be silly about things, Oz.

But doggone it all, most of us are just too darn conservative.

We deny ourselves little pleasures

that mean the difference between happiness and drudgery.

- Well, ordinarily, I'd go along with you, Andy,

but I'm still smarting from that income tax deadline.

- Well, we're all in the same boat on that.

You know the old saying, "It's later than you think."

Relax.

Get out and take that little trip

you've always wanted to take and forget all about it.

- Well, I can't afford to take a trip even if I wanted to.

- Well, of course you can afford it.

It's an investment in your own happiness.

Loosen up a little, Oz.

Give yourself a break.

- Well, I haven't been thinking about taking any trips,

but there is a little something I'd like

to buy if I had the courage.

- Yeah, what's that?

- Well, I've kind of had my eye on a rather expensive fishing

reel down at the emporium.

And I see by this morning's paper,

they've got a sale there, and they're

selling this reel for just about half price.

- Well, then what are you waiting for?

You're going to go through life fishing with a broken down reel

just because you're afraid to spend a little money?

If you don't get it now, you may never get another chance.

Live, man, live!

- You know, Andy, I think you're right.

- Of course I'm right.

- By golly, I think I'll go down to the emporium

right now and at least take a look at it.

- Say, as a matter of fact, I could use a new reel, too.

Wait a minute.

I'll get my coat and I'll go with you.

- Hey!

Well, look out for your leg!

- Oh, for goodness sakes!

I forgot all about the darn thing.

- You're getting a little too rambunctious there, boy.

- Well, gee, Oz.

It was awful nice of you to come over.

I appreciate it a million.

- Oh, well, swell, Andy.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

When I get the reel, I'll bring it over

and let you have a look at it. - Oh, swell.

Do that.

- And, uh, oh, if you ever need anybody

to come over and cheer you up a little, let me know, will ya?

So long, Andy.

"Ozzie and Harriet" will be back in just a moment.

- Oh, there you are.

- Hiya, Pop. - Hi.

Hi, dear.

I was just trying some of David's old coats on Ricky.

New clothes are so expensive these days.

Come here, dear.

Try the checkered one on again.

How was Mr. Beasley?

Feeling pretty low, I imagine, huh?

- Uh, no, Harriet.

On the contrary, he seemed in very good spirits.

- Oh, well, that's good.

What's in the package?

- Oh, well, I'll, uh--

I'll explain this to you a little later on.

Getting back to Andy Beasley, we had a very interesting

little chat.

- Oh, that's nice.

- Yeah, I discovered a facet to his personality

I hadn't known before.

You know, he has a very interesting cheerful philosophy

on life.

In fact, he sort of cheered me up.

- I thought you were supposed to cheer him up.

- Well, yes, that was the original idea,

but it sort of worked out just the opposite.

Harriet, I noticed this when I came in the door.

There's an awful funny smell all through the house.

- Oh, that must be the cauliflower.

We're having turnip greens, cauliflower,

and banana squash for dinner.

- I don't mean to complain, but isn't that sort of a gypsy type

menu?

- I just thought I'd cut down on our food budget a little

after our conversation this morning.

- Oh, that!

Oh, you don't want to pay any attention to what I say.

I mean, uh, you don't want to take those things too

seriously.

There's a happy medium, you know.

- Oh, from the way you talked, I thought

you wanted us to cut down to everything

except bare essentials.

- Oh, well, yeah, I can see why you'd

infer that from what I said.

I don't mean to sound like a straw in the wind, Harriet,

but I think I've been sort of convinced

by Andy Beasley's philosophy.

- Oh?

In what way?

- Well, I don't think we ought to throw money

around foolishly, but I do think there's

such a thing as being too conservative

and denying yourself a little extravagances that are

real genuine pleasures in life.

- Well, yes, I suppose there is.

- Why don't we go out to dinner tonight?

- What about the vegetables?

- We can put them in the refrigerator.

- Well, yes, I suppose we can.

- Pop?

- Yeah?

- You think I ought to buy that periscope?

- Uh, what periscope is that? - Well, you know.

The boys have been saving their money,

and Ricky saw a periscope advertised

that he'd like to buy.

- Well, if you like it, go ahead and buy it, son.

- David saw a baseball he kind of liked to have.

- Well, tell him to buy it.

After all, baseball season's practically here.

- We have a very unusual family, don't we, Pop?

- Well, I'm not so sure.

How about you, Harriet?

- Well, I'm inclined to agree with Ricky.

- No, no, no, no.

I mean, isn't there some little extravagance

you'd like to indulge yourself in?

- Well.

- Go ahead.

Anything at all.

- Well, I did see a beautiful dress advertised

at the emporium.

- Well, then go ahead and buy it.

- Well, it's pretty expensive, even on sale.

- Oh, so what, Harriet?

It's fun to live dangerously once in a while.

Here.

Here's a checkbook.

Here's the pen.

Have yourself a ball.

- Are you sure you know what you're doing?

- Oh, sure. Go ahead.

Have fun.

- Can I have a checkbook too, Pop?

- No, you can't have a checkbook,

but I'll tell you what.

Why don't you and Dave go down to the emporium

with your mother?

If you see something you'd like, I'm sure she'll buy it for you.

- Oh, well, David does need a new pair of pants,

and Ricky needs a new coat.

- Well, then go ahead, buy them.

- Gee, that's swell.

I'm going to tell David.

- And be sure and buy that dress for yourself now.

- Oh, yes, I promise.

- Buy two if you'd like.

- Oh, don't tempt me.

- No, I mean it, Harriet.

Have fun.

- Ozzie?

- Uh, yeah?

- Not that it makes any difference, of course, but when

you visited this Mister, uh--

- Beasley.

- Oh, yes.

Did he serve any liquid refreshments?

- Oh, come on in, Thorny.

Hi, Thorn.

Come on in and sit down.

- Hi, Oz.

- Beautiful day, isn't it?

- Well, the paper says it's going to rain.

- Well, so what?

It clears up the air.

- You seem disgustingly happy today.

Didn't you have to pay your income tax like the rest of us?

- You're darn right I did.

They really nicked me, too.

- You certainly sound cheerful about it.

I've got nothing but troubles myself.

- Oh?

What seems to be the matter?

- This morning, I discovered a slight stain

in our living room ceiling.

Looks like I'm due for a big plumbing job.

That's really a gruesome thought.

- Oh, I wouldn't get upset about it.

After all, it's probably just a small plumbing job.

- Oz, there's no such thing as a small plumbing job.

- Have you called the plumber yet?

- Well, frankly, I'm afraid to.

We'd probably need new pipes, or it could

be leaking from the shower.

Do you know how much it costs to have

new tile put in that shower?

- Well, Thorny, why don't you wait to find out

what the trouble is first?

- Look, Oz, where's there's a stain, there's a leak.

Where's there's a leak, there's something broken.

Where there's something broken, there's something to be fixed.

And where's something to be fixed, there's money.

And where there's money, I haven't the faintest idea.

- Thorny, what you need is a new philosophy on life.

Don't let these little financial troubles bother you like this.

Let them take care of themselves.

Believe me, you'll be a much happier man as a result.

- Sure.

"The happy hobo," they'd call me down at the freight yards.

- You sound like me this morning.

I was going around the house saying

we've got to cut down expenses here and there.

I even gave Harriet a big pep talk about it.

And you know who convinced me of how ridiculous I was?

- Ricky?

- Andy Beasley.

- Andy Beasley?

- That's right.

- Well, he must have cracked his head in that fall, too.

- No, Thorny, don't be ridiculous.

He's absolutely right.

Frankly, I'm glad I had a talk with him.

- Where are you going, Oz?

- Here, I want to show you something.

Take a look at this.

See how you like it.

- Say, this is a beautiful reel.

When'd you buy it?

- Just a little while ago.

It's really a beauty, isn't it?

- Sure.

These things are pretty expensive, though, aren't they?

- Well, they aren't cheap.

- I must admit, I envy you, Oz.

I really wish I could be that foolish.

- It wasn't really an extravagance.

I needed a new fishing reel, Thorny.

- Mhm.

How many times did you go fishing last year?

- Oh, well, I didn't go very often last year,

but I went quite a few times the year before.

And one of the reasons why I didn't go so often last year

is because I didn't have a nice fishing reel.

I'll tell you one thing, I'm going to go plenty this summer.

- I'll bet Harriet didn't toss her hat in the air

when she found out you bought this thing.

- Harriet?

- Yeah, your wife.

- Yes, yes, I know.

Believe me, Thorny, she'll be in perfect agreement

with the whole idea.

- You mean she doesn't know you bought it yet?

- Well, I plan to tell her.

Thorny, our whole family is in agreement on things like this.

- Well, that's fine.

It's fine.

Sounds like a fool's paradise to me.

I believe in saving my money.

- Well, so do I, but I also believe

in enjoying life a little bit.

You can't be a pinch penny.

You've got to spend a little now and then to get the most out

of life.

- Well, I guess we each have our own ideas on this subject.

I'm certainly not going to criticize you.

Who am I to say that you're wrong?

If you want to squander your money instead

of doing the right thing, that's strictly up to you.

- Thorny, this fishing reel wasn't an extravagance.

Besides, I can always pawn it.

- Yes, that's true.

- Not only that, I can catch fish for us to eat.

- Sure.

Of course, you have to buy a rod to go with it.

- Well, so what?

- Well, I guess I'll go home and call a plumber.

- Here, I'll take that.

- Oh, OK.

- Well, I hope everything turns out all right for you.

- Thanks, Oz.

- Come on.

Pull yourself together.

Stop worrying.

- OK, I will, Oz.

- Got keep smiling, you know.

- I'll try.

Uh, you going somewhere?

- Yeah, I thought I'd better take a little trip downtown.

I have a little something I want to do.

Better get my top coat first, though.

Darn rain looks like it'll be coming down any minute.

- Well, see you later, Oz.

- OK.

Take care of yourself.

Harriet?

Harriet?

- Hiya, Pop.

See my new periscope?

- Oh, hello there. - Hiya, Pop.

- Hello, dear.

- What are all the packages about?

- The loot from our shopping tour.

- Oh, for goodness sakes.

- Wait till you see my new pants.

- Oh, I bought David a beautiful pair of gray flannels.

- Yeah, and I got a new sweater.

- Just put the packages in there on the dining room table, boys.

- I got a new ball and glove too, Pop.

- Oh.

Did you get your new dress?

- Uh, my new dress?

- Yes, you know, the one that was advertised in the emporium,

on sale.

- I changed my mind.

- Oh, I kind of thought you would.

- I bought three others instead.

Well, they were having a sale on summer dresses,

and I just decided to stock up.

We had more fun today.

- Oh, good.

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.

- Let's do it again tomorrow.

- No, I think you bought enough today

to last for quite a while.

- Well, I thought you wanted us to go out

on sort of a little splurge.

- Oh, yes, that was fine, and I'm glad you and the boys

had such a good time.

But, well, I think maybe it might

be just as well if we don't go out to dinner tonight, Harriet.

The paper says it's going to rain and all.

- Whatever you say.

- We still have those vegetables, don't we?

- Well, yes, they're still in the refrigerator.

I can run down and get some steaks if you like.

- Uh, aren't steaks awfully ex--

I mean, well, uh, whatever you and the boys want.

- Well, I'll look in the kitchen and see what we have.

- Oh, come in, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz. - Oh, hiya.

Thorny.

- I'm in an awful big hurry, but I've got to tell you the news.

Listen to this.

The plumber just left, and the job that I was so worried about

took him exactly five minutes.

He charged me practically nothing.

- Oh, gee.

That's swell, Thorny.

- Not only that, Oz, but I've been thinking

over that philosophy of yours, and it's beginning

to make a lot of sense.

What am I worrying about?

Life is too short.

Well, see you later, Oz.

- Uh.

- Going to take the family to the movies, Lowe's seats.

Oh, doggone it, I almost forgot the most important news of all.

I was talking to Joe Randolph.

I told him how you refused to be daunted,

you went out and bought that expensive fishing reel.

- What expensive fishing reel?

- Harriet, this husband of yours is a very remarkable fellow.

Joe thought so, too.

And he called the newspaper, and they're

going to send it over to that Diogenes fellow

to get an interview.

You know, the happiest man in town thing?

- Oh, he shouldn't have done that.

- Why not? And listen to this.

They're going to give you a nice little gift,

a swell bamboo pole to match your reel.

- Oh, well, gee, that's very nice.

- I knew you'd be surprised, Oz.

I'll see you later. - Oh--

- I think I'll go out and buy myself a golf ball.

You might mention that to Diogenes.

Maybe he'll give me a set of clubs to go with it.

- Oh, Harriet, this is terrible.

- What's the matter?

- Oh, I've done a very cowardly thing.

I took the fishing reel back to the emporium.

- Well, why'd you do that?

- Well, I got to thinking about it, and then I got to worrying

and I figured it was too extravagant,

so I chickened out and changed my mind.

I just don't have your courage, Harriet.

- Oh, believe me.

The pleasure was all mine.

This is going to be very embarrassing for all of us.

This newspaper man, Diogenes coming over here.

Well, I'll just have to tell them that I backed out.

- Nonsense.

You can show him this one.

- Harriet!

My reel!

Where did you get that?

- At the emporium.

I decided since you could be so generous with your money,

I could be generous with your money, too.

- Harriet, you're wonderful.

- Oh, I don't mess around, boy.

"Ozzie and Harriet" will be back in just a moment.

- Come on in, Thorny!

- Hi, Oz.

- Hi, boy.

- Having any luck?

- Yeah.

- How was the interview?

- Oh, swell.

Just take a look at this rod and reel.

Aren't they beauties, though?

- Yeah, that's a beautiful set.

- I imagine that's what you came over to see.

- Oh, yeah, surely.

Oh, by the way, did Andy Beasley call you?

- No, not while I was home.

Why? Was he going to?

- Well, he'll probably call you a little later.

I was just talking to him on the phone.

He wanted your number.

- Oh, he's a real great guy.

Did he give you a touch of his carefree philosophy?

- Yes, I think you might call it that.

- Oh?

I wonder what he wanted to talk to me about.

Did he say?

- Yeah.

Yeah, he did.

He wants you and me to be cosigners on a note of his over

at the bank.

Next week, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

will be brought to you by Prophylactic toothbrushes,

Listerine toothpaste, and Listerine, the most widely

used antiseptic in the world.

Andy Beasley was played by Frank Nelson.

Don't forget that a completely different episode

of "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for time and radio station.