Original subtitles

- Listerine Antiseptic, Listerine Toothpaste,

and Prophylactic Toothbrushes present

America's favorite family comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

So settle back in your easy chairs

and enjoy another delightful half-hour with all the Nelsons.

Ozzie Nelson, of course, plays the part

of the head of the Nelson household, Ozzie.

And here is his lovely wife Harriet Nelson,

who keeps the family on an even keel.

Hello, Harriet.

The smiling young teenager we now see

is David Nelson, older of the two Nelson boys

and played by David Nelson.

And here we have the youngest of the Nelsons,

the little guy with the twinkle in his eye,

Ricky Nelson, played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next-door neighbor, Mr. Thornberry,

better known as Ozzie's pal Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Hey, Rick.

How do you think this tie will look?

- Just as good as the man who's wearing it.

- In that case, it'll all look pretty good.

- Aw, heck, it's your tie, David.

I don't want to wear it.

- Don't worry, you won't.

- What are you doing?

- I need to try to tie this tie on Sylvester here.

How do you think it looks?

- Pretty jazzy, boy.

I think you're going though an awful lot of trouble

just for a school dance.

- Well, this is isn't an ordinary dance.

This is a real special deal.

- Big man, very social.

- Yeah, how's that look?

- Very good.

You ask me, I think you ought to stay home and send Sylvester

to the dance.

- Sylvester?

Who's Sylvester?

- Oh, haven't you met Sylvester yet, Mom?

May I present my mother?

This is Sylvester Coat-Hanger, Mother.

- Oh, and how do you do?

My, he has a very limp handshake.

- Yeah, he's also got on David's good pants.

- And so I see.

Is that what you're going to wear to the dance, David?

- Yes, ma'am.

I want to wear this coat here, too.

- I hope this outfit looks as good on David

as it does on Sylvester here.

- Yes, yes, yes.

You said that before, little man.

- Who are you taking to the dance, David?

- A new girl in town, Mom.

- Oh? What's she like?

- I don't know.

I've never taken her out before.

- Oh.

Sort of a blind date?

- Well, not exactly.

I've seen her before.

- She just hadn't seen David.

- How do you know?

- I think that she's pretty special.

- Yeah, she is.

I'm lucky to be taking her out.

- That's the smartest thing you've said all morning.

- Well, she sounds like a very attractive girl.

How did you happen to meet her?

- Oh, she has a couple of classes with me.

And I've been helping her in algebra.

- You helped her?

- Yeah, what's wrong with that?

- What a dope she must be.

You're just about passing yourself.

- Rick, why don't you get lost?

You think I need a haircut, Mom?

- No, I think it looks very nice, David.

- Who's doing your waves this season, deary?

- Ricky, get lost, will ya?

You know, now that you mention it, David,

I think maybe you could stand a trim in the back.

- Well, as long as it's not absolutely necessary,

I'd like to save the money if I could.

- Whoops!

Looks if I came in at the wrong time.

Yes, sir.

Just mention money and Pop's right on the spot.

- Oh, you're not whistling Dixie.

Poor all Pop's always on the spot when it comes to money.

- Oh, well, you're so right.

It seems the boys could use an advance on their allowance.

And I need a couple of dollars for the paper

boy and the bread-- - Whoa, whoa.

Don't go any further.

I'll settle for as far as you've gone now.

- That's what I like-- A man of action.

- I'll drink to that.

- Dave, we'll settle your mother's first.

She has seniority.

- What does that mean, Pop?

- It means Mom's a little older--

- Never mind.

It means I'm a little bigger than you are.

- Well, actually, Harriet, I have nothing smaller

than a five and I know you only like--

- Oh, I'll take that.

- Oh.

I'm afraid we're in trouble here.

I only have a $10 bill left.

- I'd like to have that same trouble, boy.

- I'll change it for you, Pop.

- Really, Dave?

A $10 bill it is.

- There you are, Pop, $10.

- Wow.

Boy, you've got a lot of money stashed away there, son.

- Yeah, I've been saving up.

- Well, here's a couple of dollars for you, Rick.

- Thanks, Pop.

- A couple of dollars for you, Dave.

- Thanks, Pop.

This will come in nice and handy.

- Well, now, look, you guys, don't you spend that foolishly

all in one place. - Heck no.

I'm going to spend mine foolishly in a lot of places.

- You know, it's quite a bundle David has stashed away there,

isn't it?

- Well, I'm not surprised.

- What do you mean?

- Well, he's been taking his lunch to school almost

every day for a week now.

- Oh?

- And not only that he never rides the bus anymore.

He either walks or he rides with one of his friends.

- Oh, he must be saving up for some special occasion.

Yes, didn't he say something about going to a school dance

tonight?

- Yes, but the tickets are already paid for.

I think you may be on the right track, though.

- In what way?

- Well, seems he's taking some new little girl at school.

And evidently she's pretty hot stuff,

because David's been helping her with her algebra.

And that's just not like David.

- Well, he's probably saving up his money just

to make a big impression on this girl at the dance.

Who is this little girl, Harriet?

Do you know her?

- Well, no, but I'm sure she's very nice if David likes her.

- Oh, yes, of course.

It's just that David is so naive,

I'd hate to have to get in the clutches of some little gold

digger.

If there's anything I can't stand, it's a mercenary female.

- Oh, I'm sorry to hear you say that, dear.

- Well, what do you mean?

- Well, I was just thinking that $5 you gave me

isn't going to go very far, and I thought perhaps

you could let me have a couple more.

- I surrender, dear.

- Hey, Oz!

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

Hi.

I think this notebook belongs to David.

- Oh, yeah, that looks like his. Thanks a lot.

- He left it over at our place last night.

He and Will were collaborating a little homework.

- Oh, I'm glad to know the boys are showing that much interest

in their studies these days.

- Well, I offered Will a little bonus to bring his marks up.

You know how kids are this age.

They're always a little short of funds.

- Well, maybe Will is.

But by golly, David is loaded.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

I wanted to change at 10 this morning,

and he had the change for it just like that.

No kidding.

Where's he get it all?

- Well, evidently, he hasn't spent

any money for about six months.

He has money stashed all over his room.

How do you like that?

- Yeah.

- I suppose he's going to the dance over at school tomorrow

night?

- Uh, yeah.

He's going to take some new little girl just arrived

in town.

- Oh.

- I know just what you're thinking, Thorny,

and it's not true.

- What do you mean?

- Well, I can tell by the expression on your face

that you think this little girl is some sort of a gold digger

and that Dave has just been saving up his money

so he could squander it at the dance

and make a big impression on this girl.

- No, I wasn't, Oz.

But now that you mention it, it's

just possible that he is saving up

to buy her a nice Valentine's Day gift.

- Valentine's?

Is today Valentine's Day?

- Well, no.

But tomorrow is.

- Oh, gee, I'm glad you mentioned that, Thorny.

- As a matter of fact, I'm just on my way downtown

to buy Katherine a box of candy.

I'll tell you what, Oz.

Give me $5, and I'll buy you a box so you can give to Harriet.

- Oh, no, no, Thorny.

- Well, sure, Oz.

It'll save you a trip down there.

- Well, it's a very nice thought.

But after all, Valentine's Day is a very romantic occasion.

And half the sentiment of it is the idea

of taking the trouble and the pleasure of going down

there and picking out the appropriate present

for the one you're so fond of.

- OK, Oz. You made the speech.

Now, what kind do you want me to get for Harriet?

- One of those heart-shaped boxes with "I love you" on it.

- Oh, and-- and Thorny, make sure that it's very delicate,

and sentimental, and romantic-looking.

- Yeah.

- Don't forget I'm a romantic type fellow.

- Ah, just a minute, Oz.

I'm a rather practical mercenary type of fellow.

Give me the five bucks first.

- Oh, you dog, Thorny.

- Harriet?

Harriet, have you seen the boys?

- Yes, I think they're both upstairs.

- Oh, I have David's notebook.

Will Thornberry had it.

- Oh, well, I'm glad Will found it.

David's been looking for it.

- Oh.

Hey.

How about this.

- Oh, do you think you should be looking

through David's notebook?

- Well, I wasn't exactly looking through it,

but this page kind of fell open when I was looking through it--

I-- Well, after all, I'm the boy's father.

- Yes, dear, I know.

What does it say?

- Well, it's a list.

Perfume, candy, scarf, compact.

- Well, it sounds like Ricky's spelling list.

- Sounds to me more like David's sucker list.

- Well, what do you mean?

- Well, I mean, it's pretty obvious, Harriet,

that David's about to squander all

this money on this little girl that we don't even know.

- Well, after all, it is his money.

And I'm sure the little girl is very nice.

- Well, I'm sure she is.

- Silly to think of a little girl like that scheming to--

I mean, after all, a girl David's age is too young

to think of those--

Well, I'm sure David can take care of himself.

- Yeah, I suppose so.

- After all, it is his money that he saved.

What if he does buy her a few rather expensive presents?

Is that anything to worry about?

- Well, you've convinced me.

Have you convinced yourself?

- Frankly, no.

- Well, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

After all, I'm sure David's smart enough to--

Why, I mean, if he's anything like his old dad,

which I'm sure he is--

- Yes, I know.

- Yeah.

Poor David.

- Poor David.

- "Ozzie and Harriet" will be back in just a moment.

- Put them back, David.

- Put what back?

- My unmentionables.

- You mean your shorts?

- Don't get personal about this.

- Well, if I had to wear these things,

I wouldn't want to mention it either.

- How much money do we have? - I don't know.

I have to count it first.

- I'll help you.

- You count the pennies.

- OK.

- Ricky, stop counting out loud.

You're getting us both mixed up.

- Let's not count the small change.

Let's count this folding stuff.

Just leave it on the bed, David.

What's the matter? Don't you trust me?

- Sure, I trust you.

But just leave it on the bed.

- I don't know what you're so suspicious about.

Half this stuff is mine anyhow.

In fact, I think it's all mine.

- It is not.

One of these dollars is mine.

That one right there.

- How do you know?

- Because it has my name on it.

- Oh, right.

I suppose you crossed out "Washington"

and wrote in "Nelson."

- Look, David, it took me a long time to save up this dollar,

and I want everybody to know that it belongs to me.

- We sure have saved up quite a bit, haven't we?

- Yeah.

We ought to be able to buy Mom a neat Valentine's present

with this.

- How about a nice box of candy?

- Oh, yeah, the chocolate ones with the fruit centers.

- Does she like those?

- I don't know, but I sure do.

- We're buying this present for Mom.

You think she'd like a nice bottle of perfume?

- Don't be a dope, David.

You can't eat perfume.

- Listen, Ricky, we're buying something Mom likes,

not something you like.

- OK.

OK.

What are we going to get Dad?

- I was just wondering about that.

I wonder if you're supposed to buy your father a Valentine's

Day present. - Well, sure.

Why not?

- Well, I don't know.

Valentine's Day is sort of sweetheart's day.

You know, love stuff.

- Well, don't you like Pop?

- Well, sure I like him.

I just don't want to embarrass him.

That's all.

- Well, we're going to get Mom something, aren't we?

- Well, that's different.

Mom's your mother.

A boy's best friend is his mother.

- I thought a boy's best friend was his dog.

- Oh, Ricky, don't be silly.

You know, the more I think of it,

I think we ought to give Pop a present.

What do you think he needs?

- Well, he could always use a big box of chocolates

with the fruit centers.

- Oh, Ricky, don't be silly.

Get something sensible.

- What about a belt?

- No, he's got a belt. How about a pair of socks?

- No, he's got a pair of socks, too.

- Why don't we figure out what to get him later on?

- How much are we going to spend on Pop's presents?

- I don't know. Whatever it costs.

We want to get him something nice.

- How much is that?

- I don't know.

- Seems to me that's the most important item.

- Look, Ricky, when you give a present to somebody

you like, you don't worry about how much it costs.

- OK.

If you say so.

I guess I better leave the room now.

I don't want to embarrass you.

- What's this?

- I know you have one more gift to figure out, sweetheart.

- Ricky.

- Oh, yeah, hi.

- Say, you know you may be right after all

about this little discussion we had a while ago.

- Uh, what discussion is that?

- Well, about Dave and his little girlfriend that he

seems to be so taken with.

I was just passing the boys' room just now,

and I overheard them talking.

Now, I wasn't eavesdropping or anything.

- No, no, no, of course.

Uh, what did you hear them say?

- Well, I heard David tell Ricky that when you really

like somebody it doesn't make any difference how much money

you spend on their presents.

And he had an awful lot of money there.

- Well, see that's what I was telling you about before,

Harriet.

I think it's perfectly all right for David

to buy a little girl a present.

But I just don't want him to do anything silly.

- Well, that's how I feel about it.

- Maybe I ought to have a little talk with him, huh?

Personally, I think you just ought

to buy her a nice corsage.

If that isn't enough for her, then I

feel she's definitely not the girl for David.

- Well, maybe I shouldn't have told you about it.

- Oh. - After all, it is his money.

- Yeah. Well, yes, I know.

But we don't want him played for a good thing either.

- Say, I have a thought.

Maybe Ricky could mention the corsage idea to him.

- Ricky?

- Yes, the boys seem to talk over most of those things.

And you could tell Rick how you feel,

and he could act as sort of a go-between.

- Yeah, that might be a pretty good idea at that.

- You wait right here, and I'll tell him

that you want to see him.

- Did you want me, Pop?

- Oh, hi, Rick.

Uh, yeah.

Sit down for a second, son.

Where's David?

- He's outside playing basketball.

Do you want to see him?

- No, no.

But what I have to tell you concerns David.

- Oh, is something wrong, Pop?

- No, not especially.

Let's see how I can put this.

Well, every once in a while, there's

something that you want to tell somebody,

but it's of a rather delicate nature.

So rather than to risk hurting the person's feelings,

you tell it to a third person and have

him relay the information.

Do you follow what I mean?

- Oh, sure, Pop.

Like the time I got that bad report card

and I asked Iggy Schwartz to tell you.

- Yes.

That's sort of the same idea.

Well, first of all, I happen to know

that David has been saving up a great deal of money lately.

- He sure has.

- And also, I happen to know that he has in mind

buying a rather expensive gift for somebody

with part of that money.

- Hey, that was supposed to be a secret, Pop.

- Well, I just happened to find out about it.

And I thought I'd tell you what I think you ought to buy.

And then you can pass the information on to David.

- Sure, that's swell.

He'd like to know.

- Well, to begin with, I'm against spending

too much money.

See, it's much better to buy an inexpensive but appropriate

gift--

Something that really expresses the sentiment

of Valentine's Day.

- Like what, Pop?

- Well, I had in mind a nice corsage.

- What's a corsage?

- A corsage is a bunch of flowers

that you pin to your shoulder, you wear across your shoulder.

- Gee, that sounds kind of sissy to me.

- Oh, no, no.

Not at all.

After all, Valentine's Day is a very sentimental occasion.

And there's nothing expresses sentiment better than flowers.

- You mean you really want him to buy a corsage?

- Yes, I do.

I don't think he could buy anything

that would be more appropriate.

- OK, if you say so, Pop.

- I thought it'd be better if I stay out of this, you see,

and you tell David about it.

- Oh, sure, Pop.

He'll be happy to know what you want him to buy.

But I don't think he'll believe it.

- Well, you just tell him what I said.

- OK, Pop.

I'll tell him.

- That a boy.

- You sure you want him to buy a corsage?

- Yes, I'm positive.

- Pop?

- Yes.

- Did you really play football in college?

- Come on.

We'll hide them in the hall closet.

- Why can't we give them to Mom and Pop now?

- Because Valentine's Day isn't until tomorrow.

- Oh, come on, Dave.

I can't wait that long.

- I told you.

We'll give them to them tomorrow.

- Hi, boys.

- Oh, hi, Mom.

- Hey, Mom.

- Well, what are you doing?

- Nothing.

Nothing at all.

- A little excitement around here, huh?

- The boys seem to have something mysterious going on.

- Oh, secrets, eh?

- Yeah, we're hiding your presents.

- Oh, Ricky.

- But wait a minute, what's this about presents?

- Yeah, David, what's this about presents?

Blabber mouth.

Well, we might as well show ya. Come on into the den.

- Yeah, we might as well show ya.

- Well, this is a pleasant surprise.

- Yeah, I'll say it is.

- Yeah, this is for you, Mom.

- Oh.

- Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow.

Well, it's a little ahead of time.

But I'm always happy to receive a gift from my two boyfriends.

- Well, come on. Open it up.

Let's see what it is.

- Oh!

It's a box of my favorite chocolates with the fruit

centers.

- Yeah, I'm glad you like them too, Mom.

If you need any help eating those, Mom,

you don't have to look any farther.

- And this is for you, Pop.

- For me!

Wow!

Boys, you shouldn't have done it.

I don't think we should have either.

But that's what Ricky said you wanted, Pop.

I hope it's all right.

- Well, this certainly is a surprise.

I had no idea you fellas were going to give me a--

What's this?

- It's a corsage, Pop.

That's what Ricky said you wanted.

- I got Mom's chocolates.

- You did want a corsage, didn't you, Pop?

It sounded awful funny to me.

But that's what Ricky said.

- Oh, well, you see, when Ricky spoke to me about buying

a Valentine's present.

I thought he meant--

Well, I mean, you see, David was saving up all that money.

- Well, boys, I think there's been a slight misunderstanding.

- Uh, now, just a second, Harriet.

What makes you think so?

- Well, hasn't there been?

- Uh, I'm not so sure.

Now, let's think this over for a minute.

- Do you mean you wanted a corsage for Valentine's Day?

- Yeah.

Yes.

I mean, well, that is--

- Oh!

Oh, now I get it.

Ozzy, how clever of you.

- Oh!

Oh, thank you, dear.

Uh, how was it clever of me?

And I mean, you tell the boys.

- Well, you see, boys, you're father made

believe that he wanted a corsage for himself when actually he

wanted to give it to me.

- Oh, yes!

Yes, you see, fellas.

Valentine's Day is a very sentimental occasion.

And I kind of had a little hunch that you boys were

going to get a present for me.

- Well, you certainly are clever, dear.

- Yeah, we didn't even know what we're getting him

until a little while ago.

- You see, actually, this is a gift from your three boyfriends

together.

- Well, you certainly fooled me.

Well, I have my moments.

- Then you weren't really worried

about the little girl at all?

- What little girl, Mom?

- The little girl you're taking to the dance tomorrow night.

- You mean Marilyn?

What's she got to do with it?

- Oh, well, your mother kind of got the idea

that you've been saving up all your money

to buy this little girl an expensive present.

- Gee, what for?

- Well, you're taking her to the dance tomorrow night,

and it would be nice if you gave her something

for Valentine's Day.

- Golly, that's right.

- Look, I have an idea.

Since you gave me the corsage, why

don't you give her the candy?

- What's this?

- Well, anyway, Happy Valentine's Day!

- Hi, folks.

- Oh, hi, Thorny!

- What's the present, Thorny?

- Oh, it's just a little something

Oz had me pick out for him.

Now, don't be so nosy, Harriet.

It's just a little Saint Valentine's Day surprise.

- Oh, I'll take it, Thorny. Thank you.

- What is, Pop?

- Oh, just a box of candy, David.

- I love you.

- Look at the corsage Ozzie gave me for Valentine's Day, Thorny.

- Well-- Oz, I bought the box of candy.

- Oh, well, gee, Thorny, I was going

to wait until tomorrow, but--

Oh gosh, it wouldn't be a surprise now anyway.

So here, Happy Valentine's Day to you, Thorny.

- You mean this is for me? - Well, sure!

Who did you think it was for?

- Gosh!

I thought it was for Harriet.

- Ah, I've been fooling everybody today.

You see, that's what I meant you to think.

Gee, Oz, I didn't think you cared.

- Well, you know me, Thorny.

I'm kind of a sentimental guy at heart.

Oh, gosh, Oz.

This is a great big surprise.

- And look, I know you didn't get anything for me.

But don't worry, it's perfectly OK.

I understand.

- No, no, you're wrong, Oz.

I do have a present for you. Here hold this.

- Really?

- Actually, I was going to wait until tomorrow,

but since you've given me mine, I may as well give you yours.

There you are, Oz.

Happy Valentine's Day to you too.

- Oh, Thorny!

You shouldn't have done it.

Oh, a beautiful tie.

How about this.

Oh, Thorny, I can't accept this.

- No, no, no.

Please do, Oz.

This was a Christmas present from my mother-in-law.

- Thorny, I'll try it on.

- All right.

- You know, this is the first time Mr. Thornberry

and Pop have given each other Valentine's presents.

- Well, this is the first time your father ever had you

boys buy him a Valentine to give to me.

This is the first time I ever bought a Valentine

to give to myself from somebody else.

- Valentine's Day sure is a confusing holiday, boy.

- "Ozzie and Harriet" will be back in just a moment.

- David?

- Yes, ma'am. - Hello, there.

- Hi, Mom.

- Well, how was the dance?

- Oh, swell.

Well, that box of candy sure made a big hit with Marilyn.

- What's this?

- Well, don't remember?

You suggested I give her the box of candy

for a Valentine's present.

- Oh, yes.

I'm glad she liked it.

- She sure is a nice girl--

Very considerate and very diplomatic.

- In what way, dear?

- She didn't even say a word about the whole top layer

being missing.

- An old-fashioned girl and her toothbrush.

Sweetheart, toothbrushes have changed!

Today no other brush combines quality by Pro-Phy-Lac-Tic

and the modern features of the new Pro 59.

More bristles, thinner bristles, three times more

than old-style brushes.

More thorough cleaning on teeth and deep inside deep crevices.

More gentle-- Pro 59 bristles are ideal for massaging gums.

Don't get the old.

Get the new, the only toothbrush with these modern features

and quality by Pro-Phy-Lac-Tic-- The new Pro 59.

Kids, with each Pro 59 child's brush,

a big balloon, both $0.29.

Next week, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky--

Will be brought to you by Hotpoint Quality Appliances.

Remember, look to Hotpoint for the finest first.

Don't forget that a completely different episode

of "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for time and radio station.

- Before we say good night, I'd like

to take this opportunity of thanking the editors of TV

Radio Life magazine for selecting our television

show as the best comedy show of 1952.

We're very happy.

- And those are my sentiments exactly.

- Yeah, mine too.