Original subtitles

- Hi, everybody.

I'm Harriet Nelson.

You know, around our house, we're

great believers in regular brushing of the teeth.

As a matter of fact, if I'm not mistaken,

David and Ricky are upstairs brushing their teeth right now.

- Oh, hi.

I'm David Nelson.

I figure if you've got to brush your teeth anyway,

you might as well use Listerine Toothpaste.

Oh, my little brother Ricky here feels the same way about it.

- Yes, sir.

I don't mess around, boy.

- Listerine Antiseptic and Listerine Toothpaste

present America's favorite family comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet", starring the entire Nelson

family, Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky.

So settle back in your easy chairs

and enjoy another delightful half hour with all the Nelsons.

Ozzie Nelson, of course, plays the part

of the head of the Nelson household, Ozzie.

And here is his lovely wife, Harriet Nelson,

who keeps the family on an even keel.

Hello, Harriet.

The smiling young teenager we now see

is David Nelson, older of the two Nelson boys,

and played by David Nelson.

And here we have the youngest of the Nelsons,

the little guy with the twinkle in his eye,

Ricky Nelson, played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next door neighbor, Mr. Thornberry,

better known as Ozzie's pal Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

Who is it?

- Just me, Harriet.

I went out to get the mail.

- You have a lot more courage than I have.

There's liable to be a lot of bills there.

- Well, I figured I'd work up to it gradually.

Oh boy, that perfume you're wearing is really something!

Perfume?

- Yeah, I thought I smelled it when I was

out there by the front door.

- Oh, I guess I did put some hand lotion on.

- Oh, here's a bill.

Here's a bill.

And that's all.

- You've got a whole handful left.

- I know, but I've had enough for one morning.

- Oh, silly. Give them to me.

- I hope you have better luck.

- Here's a bill.

- Strike one.

- Here's another bill.

- Strike two.

- Here's an advertisement.

- Foul ball.

- Oh, Ozzie, there must be something else here.

- Got anything there for me, Ma?

- No, I don't think so, David.

- Boy, that's some perfume.

- Well, thank you.

But I don't think I have any more on than usual.

- You dropped a letter.

- Oh--

- I'll get it.

- Who's it for?

Holy smokes.

Holy smokes!

- What's the matter? Is it on fire?

- I don't know.

Take a whiff of this.

- Oh, so that's where that was coming from.

Who's it for?

- Oh no, this is impossible.

- What's the matter? - It's for Ricky!

- Well, it could be worse.

It could be addressed to your father.

- I'll drink to that.

- We'll have to get rid of this.

I'm starting to get a little dizzy.

- Yeah, it's a little one, but it sure is powerful.

- Somebody call me?

- Well, it just happens that we were about to.

There's a letter for you.

I wish you'd claim it.

- Where is it?

- Uh, just follow your nose.

- Oh, thank you.

- Who's it from, anyway?

- It must be from one of my girlfriends.

Smells like ladies night in a Turkish bath.

- Boy, Pop sure gets around.

- Well, come on, aren't you going to open it?

- I thought we could just sit here and smell it.

- Come on.

Open it, will ya?

- I don't know if I should.

It's marked "Personal."

- Well, I think it's all right.

It's addressed to you.

- Well, it may be a little mushy.

- Go ahead.

Read it.

- Well, OK.

Don't blame me if you get sick.

- Heck, the inside can't be any worse than the outside.

- Come on.

Hurry up, will ya?

The suspense is killing your mother.

- OK.

"Dear Ricky," --

- Well, it starts off mildly enough.

- "How are you today, lover boy?"

- Sounds like you've made quite an impression

on a certain young lady.

- Oh, I don't mess around, boy.

- Well, come on.

Read the rest of it.

- I think somebody better censor it first.

- It's only an invitation.

It says, "Dear Ricky, how are you today, lover boy?"

- Yes, yes.

We heard that part.

- "Please go to the dance with me, or else."

- Or else what?

Come on, turn the page, lover boy.

- Oh, yeah.

"Please go to the dance with me, or else I'll

have to ask Andy Andrews, and I don't

want to ask Andy Andrews to the dance

because I don't like Andy Andrews as much as you.

And besides, he can't dance."

- Well, that makes sense.

- "Please say Yes or you'll break my heart in two."

The "please" is underlined twice.

- Oh, I see.

- It's signed "Respectfully yours, Julie Thornberry."

- Well, that sounds very nice.

- At least I'm glad it wasn't mushy.

- We all are.

- Hey, there's a P.S. - Oh?

What does it say?

- I don't know.

Some word I can't pronounce.

- How do you spell it?

- It's probably XXX.

- No, it's not that.

It's "risvip".

- Let me see that.

- See, R-S-V-P.

- That means she expects an answer.

You'd better write her a little note.

- Write a note to Julie Thornberry?

- Well, of course.

Why not?

- Well, heck, she only lives next door.

- Well, that's all right.

I still think it'd be very nice to write her a little note.

- Oh, Mom.

- Oh, never mind now.

I'll help you with it and mail it this afternoon.

- And when will it get there?

- Oh, tomorrow morning sometime.

You know how you like to receive letters.

Think of what a surprise it'll be for Julie when she gets

an answer in the morning mail.

- It sure will.

The dance is this afternoon.

- Oh.

Of course, that does complicate things a bit.

- Tell me, is it customary of the little girls

to invite the little boys to dances these days?

Well, it's some kind of a Leap Year dance

that our dancing class is holding.

- Oh yeah, that's right.

It's the leap year, isn't it?

- Oh, don't worry, Pop.

I'm being real careful.

- Well, good for you.

- How come Julie waited until the last minute to ask you?

- She didn't.

She asked me last week. - Oh.

Then you've already accepted?

- Not exactly.

I said I'd think it over.

- You'd think it over?

- Well, yes, ma'am.

A guy can't be too careful, you know.

- Well, I don't know.

That seems like a pretty independent attitude to me.

- Beg your pardon?

- Aren't you afraid she'll run off with somebody else?

- Well, how can she?

I'm the fastest runner in our class.

- Big deal.

- Well, nevertheless, I think he's right.

After all, you know the old saying,

"There are plenty of other fish in the sea."

- Well, if you ask me, that's a pretty dangerous attitude

to take.

- Yeah, you'd better be careful, Ricky.

First thing you know, your big romance

will go right down the drain.

- And Julie's a cute little dish, too.

- Well, heck, it's just like Pop said.

There are plenty of other dishes in the sink.

- Well, anyway, you've got plenty of time

to worry about girls later on.

I should think you'd rather be out playing football

than attending some dance with a bunch of girls.

- Oh, fiddlesticks.

I think it's a very nice idea.

- Well, maybe you're right.

After all, he's not going to be playing football all his life.

But he will be meeting and associating with people.

And girls are people.

- I'll drink to that.

- Well, I still say if I were you,

I'd rather be out playing football with Dave

and the rest of the guys.

- Heck, I'd rather go to the dance.

- I don't get it.

- Whenever I play with those big guys,

they always make me play center.

- Well, playing center's a lot of fun.

- For both sides?

- The defense rests.

- Hiya, Thorny.

- Oh, hiya, Oz.

Say, that young son of yours is certainly the Dapper Dan,

isn't he? - Oh, what do you mean?

- I just saw him take off down the street

with his hair slicked down and his shoes all shined.

From the way he smelled, he must have

had on some of your aftershave lotion.

Oh-- No, no, no.

That was just left over from a letter

he received this morning.

- A letter? - Yeah.

- What, is he on the sucker list of a perfume factory?

- No, no. Nothing as serious as that.

- Well, don't tell me there's a fair lady involved.

- Yes, I'm afraid there is.

In fact, it's your daughter Julie.

- Oh, so that's it.

All I can say is I certainly feel sorry for Ricky.

That young daughter of mine is a very determined young lady.

- Well, don't worry about Rick.

He's a pretty fast runner.

- Well, he'll have to do more than just run.

You seem to forget this is still Leap Year.

She'll take him right over the hurdles.

Well, I don't think he'll put up too much

of a struggle.

In fact, I'm a little surprised at the interest

he shows in dancing and girls at his age.

- Oh, Oz, I think it's wonderful.

It'll sure save him a lot of embarrassment later on.

- How so?

You may not believe this, Oz, but when I was a boy,

it was sheer agony for me to even talk to a girl,

let alone dance with her. - You're kidding?

- Well, I know it's hard to believe,

Oz, nut that's just because you're

used to the polished drawing room manners I have now.

- Didn't say that.

- You don't have to. I just did.

- Nevertheless, I used to be a shy, retiring,

self-conscious youth.

- Now, now, just a second.

It was only about three weeks ago

you sat right in my living room and claimed

you used to be quite a boy with the girls.

- Well, Oz, that was later on.

When I was a small boy, I was shy and self-conscious.

- I find that rather hard to believe.

- Well, nevertheless, it's true.

And it was only through painful effort

that I was able to overcome it. - You're kidding?

- Nope.

And today, if I saw an attractive girl,

I could walk right up to her, introduce myself,

and talk very easily, and maybe ask her for a dance or two.

I wouldn't have a handicap in the world.

Except my wife, of course.

But believe me, Oz, you ought to be

tickled to death that Ricky's so easy in mixed company.

And according to the rumors that I hear,

he's quite the lady-killer.

- Well, you know the old saying, "Like father, like son."

Yeah, I know the saying.

What about it?

- Is it any wonder Ricky should turn out to be a lady-killer?

Junior grade, of course.

- Well, I can see where you might have

gotten by OK in your youth. - No, no, no.

Wait a second, Thorny.

Don't you go around telling everybody

I used to be a devil with the girls

or they couldn't resist me.

All right, Oz.

I won't.

- I hope not.

However, if you should happen to blurt it out by mistake,

don't worry about it.

I don't think there's any danger of that

happening.

- You know, I never realized what a strong influence

I must have had on the boys.

- Well, it's strange you could overlook it.

- Those smooth manners, those fine social graces.

Little of it must have rubbed off on them.

- Well, now that you're getting back to normal,

I think I'll be running along.

- You see, what we don't realize,

Thorny, is that a boy naturally identifies himself

with his father. Now, you may say--

- Yeah, yeah, yeah--

- --he's a little young for that sort of--

- Oz, Oz, just let go my arm.

I've got to be running along. - What's your hurry?

For goodness sakes, stop pulling away!

- Oz, you're hurting my arm.

- Well, then stop interrupting me!

- Me?!

You're the one that's doing all the interrupting!

- Well, then stop interrupting me when I'm interrupting you!

Talk about smooth social grace and good manners.

You're positively childish at times!

- Oh, yeah? What about yourself?

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah!

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah!

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah!

- Oh--

- Hi, Pops. Hello, Mr. Thornberry.

- Oh-- - Hi, son.

- Hello, Ricky.

- I'm going to the dance now, Pop.

- Oh, well, that's nice.

Well, be sure and act like a little gentleman.

- Yes, sir.

- Be careful of your manners.

- Yes, sir.

I will.

- Have a good time, Rick!

- Thank you, sir!

- Yes, have a good time, son.

Chip off the old block, huh?

You know-- - You know--

- Oh, I'm sorry. - No, I-- I--

I beg your pardon. - No, no.

I interrupted. - No, I interrupted you.

You were-- you were just about to say something.

I'm awfully sorry, Thorny.

What was you going to say?

- Well, I was just going to say that--

Gee, he's a fine fella.

- Oh-- - Thanks, Thorny.

Well, I'll be seeing you.

- Yeah.

Take it easy, Oz.

- Did you go to a dancing class when you were a little girl?

I did.

Every Saturday afternoon in our town, the dancing class with

meet at the Woman's Club Auditorium.

A very pleasant, chubby little lady played the piano,

and the girls would sit around and giggle.

And the boys would wait expectantly

for the ice cream and cake to arrive.

I think that's the only reason

they ever showed up at all.

You know, things haven't changed very much since then.

Ricky's gone down this afternoon to the Woman's Club

to attend the dance given by Mrs. Davenport's dancing class.

Let's see...

Yep.

I would guess it's just about time for the refreshments

to arrive.

- Hi.

- Oh, hi, David.

If you've come over here to ask me to dance,

I'm sittin' this one out.

- Yeah, and so I noticed.

- What are you doing over here, anyway?

- Will and I just stopped by to see how the dance was going.

Where's Julie?

- She's over there getting some refreshments.

- Well, why didn't you get them?

- I did.

I got mine right here.

- I mean Julie.

You're supposed to get your partner's, too, you know.

- Heck, I can hardly carry my own.

Besides, she wanted to talk to some girls about something.

- Is it a pretty good dance?

- I'll tell you as soon as I taste the cake.

If the rest of this dance is as good as this cake, boy,

it's the best dance I've ever been to.

- Sure got enough there.

How about sharing some of that with an old friend?

- I don't believe I caught your name, stranger.

- Come on, don't give me any of that stuff.

- Don't worry, I won't give you a thing.

- Is that any way to treat your own brother?

Your own flesh and blood?

- Please, I'm eating.

- This is supposed to be a dance, you know, not a picnic.

Who told you you could sit over here

and stuff yourself with ice cream and cake?

- Nobody had to tell me.

This was my own idea.

- Come to a dance, you're supposed to dance.

- Are you kidding?

I've been dancing every dance.

That's why I'm so hungry.

- Who you been dancing with?

- Well, who else?

Julie Thornberry.

- And who else?

- That's all.

Just Julie Thornberry.

- You mean you danced every dance with Julie Thornberry?

- Sure.

She brought me here, so she stuck with me.

Well, excuse me, David.

I'd better start eating this ice cream before it gets cold.

- Have a good time, little man.

- Where are you going?

- Well, I think I'll go over and ask for some punch, which

I won't get, to wash down that cake you didn't give me.

- I don't think you'd better get any punch, David.

You're punchy enough as it is.

- Hi, Pop. Hi, Mom.

- Oh, hi, Dave. - Hello, dear.

Where have you been?

- Will Thornberry and I stopped off

to the dance for a few minutes. - Oh.

Aren't the girls a little young for you two big fellas?

- Sure, but there wasn't anything

wrong with refreshments.

- Now, wait a minute.

Don't tell me you guys went down there to grab a free lunch.

- Oh no, we had to work for it.

Mrs. Davenport had some furniture and stuff

she wanted moved around.

- Did you see Ricky there?

- Heck, you couldn't miss him.

You know Ricky.

- Was he having a good time?

- Oh, sure.

- I'll bet he was over there dancing around

with all the girls. - No.

Funny thing, he only danced with Julie Thornberry

while I was there.

He had every dance with her.

- You mean he didn't dance with any of the other girls?

- Just Julie.

- Oh, well that wasn't very polite.

You go to a party, you're supposed

to dance with all the girls.

- I mean, Julie invited him.

- Well, yes, I know, but your mother and I

went to the Randolph's party.

I didn't spend all evening dancing with her.

I danced the first dance with her.

- And that's the last I ever saw of him.

- Oh, now you know that's not true, Harriet.

It just isn't considered proper etiquette

for a man to dance every dance with his own wife.

- Hmm.

It isn't considered much fun either.

- I like to dance with you, dear.

It's just that a man has to spread himself around.

I like to bring a little happiness

into every woman's life.

- Oh, well, good for you, dear.

That's very thoughtful of you.

- I'll see you later.

- Oh, David, if you see Ricky, tell him we'd like to see him,

OK? - OK, Pop.

- Well, that's a strange thing about Ricky.

I should think he'd like to dance with all the girls.

That's what makes a party a success.

- I don't know.

Maybe he has a crush on Julie Thornberry.

- Oh, I don't think so.

He's a little young for that.

- Well, I wouldn't say that.

Don't tell me you didn't have some secret love

when you were his age.

- Well, yes, but it didn't last very long.

She married Douglas Fairbanks.

Oh, I'm sure there's no big romance between Ricky

and Julie Thornberry.

Marilyn Monroe, perhaps, but not Julie Thornberry.

- Hi, Mom.

Hi, Pop.

- Oh, hi, Ricky.

Hey, how about the dance?

You have a good time?

- Oh, yeah, it was swell.

- I understand David stopped by.

- Yeah.

Boy, that guy can smell ice cream a mile away.

- He tells me you spent quite a bit of time

with Julie Thornberry.

- Yeah, she was my partner.

- Yeah, but according to David, you

danced just about every dance with her.

- Yes, sir. Every one.

- Why didn't you dance with any of the other girls, dear?

- They didn't ask me.

- Now, wait a minute.

They're not supposed to ask you.

You're supposed to ask them to dance.

- Yeah, I did, but none of them would.

So I figured when they got ready,

they'd just come over and ask me.

- You mean you asked all the girls to dance and none of them

would accept?

- Only Julie Thornberry.

- Well, I never heard of such a thing.

Were you polite when you asked them?

- Oh, sure.

They were all sitting around, and I walked up to one girl

and I said, "Would you care to dance?"

And they all started to giggle.

And she said, "No thank you.'

- Well, that's strange.

- And then they all started to giggle again.

- You mean all the girls turned you down?

- Everyone I asked.

I really don't mind, though.

I'd rather dance with Julie than anybody else.

- Are you sure?

- Oh, sure.

All the rest of the girls are taller than I am.

- Well, maybe that's why they didn't want to dance with you.

- It never bothered me before.

I sure am glad I didn't have to dance with Agnes Mueller.

- Well, how tall is she?

- She's about six feet.

- I wonder why those girls didn't stay home

if they didn't want to dance.

- Oh, they danced with the other guys.

Well, I'll see you later.

I'm going to shoot a couple of baskets.

- You'd better change your clothes.

- OK. I will, Ma.

- Gee.

Poor kid.

Something like this could easily give him

an inferiority complex.

- Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, especially since it doesn't

seem to bother Ricky any.

- Oh, Harriet, of course it bothers him.

He's just being brave about it.

Poor little guy.

Oh, come on in, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz. - Hi.

- Hi, Thorny. - Hi, Harriet.

I thought I'd better stop in and we could talk over

the terms of the contract.

- Contract?

What contract?

- The marriage contract, of course.

- Oh!

Looks like those two kids of ours are pretty

serious.

I understand they danced every dance together.

- Uh-huh, that's right.

- Well, look, Oz, I thought we could just

have a simple ceremony.

We wouldn't have to make it too late since they

both have to get to school the next morning.

And since they're so young, we'd want to keep an eye on them.

So what do you say we build them a tall, thin bungalow

right between our two houses?

- That sounds like a wonderful idea.

- I guess it does look pretty serious at that.

- You think Ricky can support a family, Oz?

Don't forget there are four of us.

- Well, you may have to budget yourself a little.

He gets $1 a week allowance.

- Oh.

I'll have to talk to Julie about that.

Ah, she's sure got a crush on that boy of yours.

Came home from the dance walking on air.

- Ricky enjoyed himself, too.

- Yeah, he says he'd rather dance with Julie

than any of the other girls.

- That's like I say.

When she gets her mind set on something,

there's no stopping her.

She gets that from her mother, I guess.

Personally, I think it was kind of a mean trick.

- What was a mean trick?

- Well, I don't think I should be telling you this.

But after all, it's the only fair thing to do.

Did Ricky dance with any of the other girls at the party?

- No, not a single one.

- I didn't think so.

- Well, how'd you know?

- Well, for the past month Julie's

been saving up her weekly allowance.

She had quite a bundle stashed away.

- Oh, fine.

That'll make a very nice dowry.

- Yes, if she still had it.

- You mean she spent it?

- She spent every cent of it on Ricky.

- Well, what was he doing?

Charging her $0.10 a dance?

- No, Oz.

She didn't exactly spend the money on Ricky.

She spent it for him.

- I don't get that.

- Well, to put it bluntly, she bribed

every one of the little girls not to dance with him.

- Oh, so that's why they turned Ricky down.

- I'm afraid so.

That's why I thought I'd come over and tell you,

so you wouldn't think he was some sort of social outcast.

- Well, I'll be darned!

- Boy, Oz, you've got to keep your eye on these women.

You know where Julie got the idea?

- No. - From her mother.

Catherine pulled the same trick on me once at a school dance.

Of course, it only cost her $0.50.

Well, everything's much higher these days.

- Well, of course.

Looks like Ricky's really

going to have to look out for Julie when

she gets a little older. - Or he gets a bigger allowance.

- Yeah, I see what you mean.

- Well, I guess I'll be running along, Oz.

I just thought I'd stop over to let

you know what happened so you wouldn't spend a lot of money

on personality lessons for Ricky.

- Well, we're glad you did.

- Well, I'll see you at the wedding.

- Bye, Thorny. - So long, Thorny.

How about that?

And here we were worried about Ricky's being popular.

What these little girls won't think up next, huh?

- Well, evidently it must be quite an old trick.

Thorny said Catherine pulled it on him when they were kids.

- Say, wait a minute--

This explains something that happened

to me when I was a boy!

- You mean some little girl played the same trick on you?

- Well, yes, and I just realized it this minute.

You see, we had this dance at the high school gymnasium,

a Leap Year dance.

And you were only allowed to ask a girl

to dance if nobody asked you first.

Well, I wanted to dance with all the girls at the party,

but this one little girl kept asking me first.

She explained it to me at the time, but I didn't believe her.

- You mean she was paying all the other little girls to stay

away? - No, no, no, no.

All the other little girls got together

and they paid her to ask me before I--

This was a little different situation.

Well, you know how little boys sort of grow

in sections?

- Uh-huh.

- Well, during this particular phase of my growth, I was,

you might say, a medium-sized boy.

But I had pretty large feet and a rather big mouth.

In fact, even to this day I occasionally

open up my big mouth and put my foot in it.

Oh, boy.

- Oh, boy.

- I'll see you later, Mom.

- Wait-- wait a minute.

Where are you going?

- I'm just going out for a little while.

- Out where?

- I've got kind of a date.

- Oh?

Julie Thornberry?

- No, Agnes Mueller.

- Agnes Mueller?

You mean that tall girl at school?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Well, I thought you didn't care for her.

- Aw, yeah, Mom.

She's very nice.

I just said I didn't like to dance with her.

- Well, she's about six feet tall, isn't she?

- 6 feet 1.

Well, I'd better hurry up, Ma.

I promised to pick her up at 7:00.

- Oh, wait a minute.

Where are you going?

- Down to the church.

We're going to play some basketball.

- Isn't it time?

Time you bought the whole family fresh, clean,

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