Original subtitles

- Hey, David?

- What do you want?

- How do you spell refrigerator?

- Are you kidding?

- That's how you spell refrigerator?

- Yes, sir.

And that's just the kind of spelling that'll

keep ours well-filled, too. - Oh gee.

Thanks, mom.

- Hotpoint Quality Appliances presents

America's favorite family comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet," starring the entire Nelson family:

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky.

So settle back in your easy chair

and enjoy another delightful half hour with all the Nelsons.

Ozzie Nelson, of course, plays the part

of the head of the Nelson household, Ozzie.

And there's his lovely wife, Harriet Nelson,

who keeps the family on an even keel.

Hello, Harriet.

The smiling young teenager we now see

is David Nelson, older of the two Nelson boys

and played by David Nelson.

And here we have the youngest of the Nelsons,

the little guy with the twinkle in his eye,

Ricky Nelson, played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next door neighbor, Mr. Thornberry,

better known as Ozzie's pal, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Hi, Harriet. - Oh.

Well, hello there, Barbara.

- Well, look who's here.

- Well, I was just on my way to the market,

and I thought you might like to see him.

- How old is he now anyway?

- Almost seven months.

- Is that right?

Whoever said, "Time flies," sure knew what he was talking about.

- Oh, I hope you're strong enough.

He weighs a ton.

- Oh, I've had lots of experience.

It must have been some time ago, but I can remember.

Oh, honestly, doesn't it seem like yesterday

that he was born?

Time sure marches on.

- Oh, you're so right.

Do you know today's our third anniversary?

- Oh, well, congratulations.

- Well, actually, it won't be for a few hours yet.

4:35 to be exact.

- Oh, well, congratulations anyway.

Oh, what are you going to do about celebrating?

- Well, I finally talked that husband of mine

into taking me out to dinner.

It's nothing spectacular, but it will

be nice to have a little change of scenery.

- Oh, well, golly, I'm all for it.

As a matter of fact, Ozzie's promised

to take me to the movies tonight for a change.

- Well, good. How did you work it?

- Well, it was kind of a dirty trick,

but I asked him while he was reading the paper at breakfast

this morning.

Of course, he won't remember it, but I got David and Ricky

as witnesses.

- Oh, well, good for you.

Well, I better be going.

- Oh, well, thanks for stopping by, Barbara.

Take care of that big guy.

- Oh, we sure will.

- Bye bye, sweetheart.

And have a happy anniversary, Barbara.

- Thanks, Harriet. Bye bye.

- Have you see the boys?

- Well, they're outside playing football.

- Boy, you should see the mess they left in the upstairs hall.

- Well, they were looking for their football helmet.

Oh, say, by the way, have you seen

my little yellow apron, the one with the little flowers in it?

- No. Why?

Did you lose it?

- Well, evidently, I can't seem to find it anywhere.

- Well, why don't you retrace your steps just

to figure out what you've been doing?

- Well, I was upstairs doing the vacuuming,

and then I came downstairs to the kitchen.

Oh, Barbara Benson dropped by.

You should see their baby.

He's the cutest little guy you've ever seen in your life.

- Oh, I'll bet.

- Dinner ready yet, mom?

- Oh, not quite, dear. - Hi, pop.

- Hi, boys.

Hey, who's responsible for that mess in the upstairs hall?

Looks like a cyclone struck it.

- See, Ricky?

I told you.

- Who told who what?

- Who told whom what?

- Whom what?

What the heck is a whom what?

- Look, never mind that now.

Who's responsible for the mess in the upstairs hall?

- Well, David did most of it, pop.

- You did your share, too.

- I think both of you guys are old enough

to assume a little responsibility as

far as the neatness of the house is concerned.

- We were just looking for our football helmets, pop.

We'll straighten it up.

- Yeah.

We had to look all over before we found them.

- I was looking for my apron, too,

but I didn't tear up the house doing it.

- From now on, let's show a little consideration

for the appearance of things around here, huh?

Especially you, David.

You're supposed to set an example

for your little brother.

- That's right, David.

I'm surprised at you.

- Quiet, half-pint.

- Don't get personal. - All right.

Now, you two, get on upstairs and clean up

that mess in the hall. - OK, mom.

Come on.

Let's go, midget.

- Careful what you say, David.

I'm not going to stand here and take that sitting down.

- Looks like you're sitting down already.

Come on.

Let's go.

- I wish I could develop a sense of responsibility

in those guys.

- Well, I wouldn't worry about it, dear.

After all, they're pretty young yet.

- Yes, I know, but it's pretty tough.

You'd like to help your children out and give them

a hand so they have a feeling of security and of being wanted.

Somewhere along the line, they've

got to assume some responsibilities of their own.

- Well, first of all, you have to let

them know you have some confidence in them.

- Oh, I have plenty of confidence in them

in the long run.

- You know, I think everybody likes to feel that people

have confidence in them.

For instance, when you make me a promise,

I have complete confidence that you're going to keep it.

- Well, naturally, it's--

What did you have in mind?

- Oh, anything.

Like, for instance, the promise you

made to take me to the movies tonight.

- I promised to take you to the movies tonight?

- You don't remember it?

- Uh, Harriet?

- Yes, dear.

- Remind me from now on to read my morning paper on the bus

instead of at the breakfast table, will you?

- Hello.

- Hello, is that you, David?

- Yes, it is.

- Oh, this is Barbara Benson. How are you?

- Oh, I'm fine. Thanks, Mrs. Benson.

And just a minute, here's mom.

- Hello, Barbara.

- Hi, Harriet, I hope I didn't interrupt your dinner.

- No, we're all finished.

- Oh, well, that's good.

Say, I'm afraid I walked off with your apron this morning.

You must have left it on the carriage when

you picked the baby up.

- Oh, for goodness sake's, is that what I did with it?

- Well, I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier,

but we've sort of been in a little confusion here.

- Oh, nothing serious, I hope.

- Oh, the sitter didn't show up.

She has a headache or something.

Anyway, she didn't call till the very last minute.

- Oh, that's a shame.

Tonight of all nights.

Say, I have an idea.

Why don't I come over and stay with the baby?

- Oh, of course not, Harriet. I wouldn't think of it.

In the first place, you and Ozzie

are planning to go to the movies.

- Oh, Barb, I can go to a movie any time.

Why don't I come over right away and--

- Excuse me, Harriet.

I think the baby must have dropped his bottle.

Hold on, will you?

- What's the matter, mom?

- Oh, the Bensons are planning on going out tonight.

It's their anniversary, and the sitter didn't show up.

- Well, heck, I can go over there and stay with the baby.

- Well, it's very thoughtful of you, David.

I don't know. - Oh, sure.

I could take my homework, and I wouldn't have

Ricky in my hair for a change.

- Hello?

- Hello, Barb.

- Well, everything's under control.

Say, David just had an idea.

Why doesn't he come over and stay with the baby?

- Oh, do you think he would?

- He says he'll be glad to.

He can take his homework and study right over there.

- Oh, gee, Harriet.

You're a lifesaver.

That'd be wonderful.

- Oh, we're certainly glad we could help out.

I'll send him right over. - Oh, that's wonderful.

Tell him thanks a lot.

- You're welcome.

Goodbye, Barb.

- What time do they want me, mom?

- Well, just as soon as possible I guess, dear.

- What's this?

- Well, David's going to do a little babysitting tonight.

- No kidding.

What's her name, David?

- It's not for me.

It's the Benson's little baby.

- Oh, you mean a baby baby?

- Exactly.

- And David's going to take care of her?

- Why not?

- Oh, brother.

I pity the poor kid.

- And what's so hard about taking care of a baby?

- Well, certainly I think David's perfectly capable.

- How come you're taking up babysitting all of a sudden,

Dave?

You're trying to pick up a little extra pocket money?

- Oh, no, pop.

- The Bensons planned on going out tonight,

and the sitter didn't show up, so David

volunteered to help them out.

- Heck, I don't want to get anything for it.

I'll do it for nothing.

- If you ask me, you're being overpaid.

- OK, wise guy.

I'll go get the rest of my stuff.

- Do you really think this is a smart idea, Harriet?

- Oh, there's really nothing to it.

He'll probably sleep most of the time.

- Who, David?

- No, the baby.

- I'm all set.

Don't do a run around, David. - I won't.

- Goodnight. - Bye.

- Goodnight, dear.

- Ricky, you better get out your homework.

- Oh, gee, mom.

- Come on now.

- Gee whiz.

Homework, homework, homework.

- Harriet, don't you think that's quite a responsibility

for David to stay with a little baby like that?

- Oh, I don't know, dear.

You know, I think David has more capabilities than you give him

credit for.

- Oh, I know he has lots of capabilities,

but I mean this is something a little different.

Suppose the baby should wake up and need to have his--

I mean, you know, with all those pins and everything.

- Don't worry, dear.

Everything's going to be all right.

- I hope so.

- You promised to take me to the movies, remember?

- Oh, yeah, I did, didn't I?

- We better take Ricky down to your mother's, huh?

- I'm right here, pop.

- Oh, honey, get your homework together.

We'll drop you off at grandma's.

- Well, I don't have any homework, thanks to David.

- Did David do your homework?

- No, he walked off with my pen and all my notebook paper.

- Oh, I'm sure it was a mistake.

- Heck, and I thought he was doing me a favor.

- Well, why would he do a thing like that?

- Well, he's really very fond of me.

- Yes, I know.

But, I mean, walking off with your notebook

paper and your pen and stuff?

- You know David, the absent-minded professor.

- Well, if we're going to Rialto, we'd better go.

- Rialto?

Well, that's way on the other side of town.

- Well, what's the difference?

We're going to take the car, aren't we?

- Well, yes, but suppose David should phone?

- What difference does it make, I mean, what movie we're at?

- Well, I just thought in case of an emergency.

- Oh, well, if you'd rather not go.

- Oh, no.

I'll go.

- Are you sure?

- Well, you're counting on it, aren't you?

- Well, not necessarily.

I mean, if you'd rather--

Well, I'll do whatever you want to do.

- Oh.

Well, then why don't we sit here and worry--

I mean, and wait for a while?

Make up our minds later on?

- For goodness sake's, just sit down and relax.

- Well, I am relaxed.

- Well, then stop pacing back and forth like that.

- I'm not pacing back and forth.

I'm just walking around a little.

- Well, next time you pass the coffee table,

stop in for something to eat.

- Oh, no wonder you've been out in the kitchen so long.

These look like Toll House cookies.

- They just like them too.

Try one.

- I thought we finished these off a couple of days ago.

- Oh, those are fresh.

- Oh.

Mm.

Oh, these are fine.

If you don't mind my saying so, these

are much better than that last batch you made.

- Oh, they are?

- Yeah, they're not quite so soggy.

Well, not exactly soggy, but I mean these are crisper.

Not so many walnut shells in them either.

- Well, I didn't think there was anything

the matter with the last ones.

- Oh no, they were fine.

Little rough on the weaker teeth perhaps,

but they were very good.

- You said they were very good.

I thought they were.

- Yeah, they we-- They were fine.

I enjoyed them very much.

These are even better.

- My watch must have stopped.

Do you know what time it is?

- 10 o'clock.

- Oh.

- I'm sure David's all right, dear.

- Well, of course, he's all right.

I just asked what time it is.

I'm sure a big boy like David can

manage a seven-month-old baby.

For goodness sake's, relax, dear.

- Oh, I'm relaxed.

- Besides, if anything should go wrong,

he'd just pick up a telephone and phone us.

They have a phone, haven't they? - Oh, sure.

Barbara phoned this evening.

- Oh-- Oh, yes.

I'm sure if the Bensons trust David with their tiny baby,

we can have as much confidence in him

as a couple of strangers.

Not that they're strangers exactly,

but David's a very competent lad.

I'm sure he's capable of meeting any situation that might arise.

Is that the phone?

- I don't hear anything.

- Oh, it must have been the Thornberry's phone.

So you don't suppose David can't reach us

and he's been calling next door at the Thornberry's, do you?

- No, dear.

Stop worrying.

- I'm not worrying, Harriet.

For goodness sake's, there's nothing to worry about.

There are plenty of kids David's age take care of babies,

kids even younger than David.

He's got much more intelligence than a lot of boys his age.

- Well, I think so, too.

What was the matter with the last batch of cookies?

- Well, they were fine.

I ate them, didn't I?

- Oh, you eat anything I put in front of you.

- What was that?

- What was what?

- Heard something just sound sort of like a baby crying.

- It's probably the Thornberry's cat.

- Oh, yes.

That's what it was.

- Besides, you couldn't possibly hear the Benson baby

all the way over here.

- Harriet, who said anything about the Benson's baby?

I just said I heard something that

sounded like a baby crying.

For goodness sake's, stop worrying.

- I'm not the least worried.

- That's the way to talk.

David's a big boy.

It's about time he did assume a little responsibility.

I mean, the thing like this is good for him.

It's a wonderful experience.

So forget it, dear.

It's only the Thornberry's cat.

- What is?

- That noise you hear.

- I don't hear anything.

- Don't you?

Sounds just like a baby crying.

It's only the cat though.

It's a little stuffy in here.

- Is it?

- Yeah, I think so.

I think I'll step outside for a breath of fresh air.

I always like to take a little walk in the evening

before I turn in.

- Since when?

- Oh, whenever I think of it.

Helps you sleep.

Uh, I'll be right back.

Is that a worried look I see on your face?

- Yes, I guess it is.

- Well, for goodness sake's, dear, stop it.

There's nothing to worry about.

- Well, I happen to think that there is.

What was wrong with my last batch of cookies?

- Hey, Oz?

- Hm?

- Is that you?

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

Yeah.

- Hey, what's the big idea sneaking around

in the middle of the night?

- Well, I'm not sneaking around.

Can a man step out for a breath of fresh air?

Is there any law against that?

- Well, if you're going to be nasty about it,

you can just go back in your own yard and breathe your own air.

The air on this side of the fence belongs to me.

- It's just I'm a little upset.

- Oh, what's the trouble?

- Well, there's no trouble exactly, at least I hope not.

David's over taking care of the Benson's baby tonight.

- Well, that's nothing to get upset about.

- Well, no.

But it's quite a responsibility.

I mean, babies are-- are so young.

- Yeah, I've noticed that. too.

- Well, it's just that something's liable to--

You know, you never can tell.

Not that I don't have confidence in David.

- Well, if you're worried, why don't we take a walk over there

and see how he's doing?

- By golly, Thorny, that's a wonderful idea.

- Well, isn't that what you were going to do anyway?

- Well, yes, but it's nice to have you think of it, too.

I wouldn't want David to feel I don't have confidence in him.

Kids should always understand that their parents trust them.

- Well, we can think of some feeble excuse for stopping by.

- Like what?

- Well, we can say we were just out for a walk

and decided to take a shortcut through the Benson's house.

- Well, I'll think of something on the way over.

Let's hurry, shall we?

- What does Harriet think about all this?

- Oh, she manages to cover her feelings pretty well,

but she can't kid me. She's plenty worried.

You know how women are.

- Yeah, they're almost as bad as men.

- David's old enough and intelligent enough

to take care of a baby.

It's just that if some little problem might arise,

we can help him with.

- Shall we ring a bell or break down the door?

- Knock.

He's probably asleep.

I'm sure there's nothing to get excited about.

David's probably doing fine.

Why doesn't he answer the door?

- We're going to break it down.

- Oh, hello, Pop.

Hello, Mr. Thornberry.

- Mr. Thornberry and I were just taking a little walk.

- And I know a swell shortcut.

- Mind if we come in? - Oh, no.

Come on in, Pop.

- How's everything going, David? - Oh, fine, Pop.

I finished three pages of my history composition.

- No, I meant with the Benson's baby.

- Oh, no trouble at all.

- Oh, fine, fine.

See, Thorny? Everything's going along great.

- Yeah.

- Want some cookies, Mr. Thornberry?

Mrs. Benson made them. - No thanks, Dave.

We're not hungry. - Well, speak for yourself, Oz.

Yeah, I'll take one or two.

- Thorny, let's go and take a peek at the baby, huh?

- You better not, pop.

He's asleep right now.

- We won't wake him up.

Which way is the nursery?

- In here.

Right here, pop.

Is it awful warm in here?

Seems fine to me.

- Oh, what do you know about it?

- Well, certainly know as much about babies as you do.

- Shh, Thorny, please.

It's a small baby asleep here.

- Sounds awful quiet, doesn't he?

- Well, how well did you snore at the age of seven months?

Little--

- Thorny, please.

You'll scare the poor kid half to death,

and he wakes up and sees your big, fat face leering him.

- Well, you're not Whistler's Mother yourself.

- Don't you think we better go in the other room, pop?

- For a while. That's right.

- Do you think anyone would mind if I just picked him up

for a little bit? - Thorny, please.

The baby's sleeping quietly.

- I think we'd better go in the other room, pop.

- Just a second, Dave.

You know, I think that light is streaming into the window

right on his face, isn't it?

- Doesn't seem to bother him though, pop.

I think we better-- - David, please.

I just want to pull down-- - Well, I'll get it.

- For goodness sake's, watch it.

A whole baby is sleeping here.

- You're bumping the crib.

- Well, now you've done it.

You woke the baby up.

- Me?

You were the one that let the shade go.

- Well, you wanted to pick him up?

Go ahead. Pick him up.

- Oh, no you don't. You woke him up.

You put him back to sleep.

- Let me do it.

- There you go.

That's my boy.

- Well, I think I'll be running along.

- Oh, no, you don't.

You'll stay right here until we put this kid back to sleep.

- Well, you want me to sing something?

- Are you kidding?

He's making enough noise as it is.

Why don't you pull the lamp on?

- Don't pick him up, pop.

I put him to sleep before.

- All by yourself? - Yeah.

I got a system.

I read to him.

- Oh, David, don't be silly.

He's a little baby.

He doesn't understand what you're reading.

- Well, It's still works.

I read to him from my civics book.

Here it is Article 1, Section 8: "The Congress shall

have the power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts,

and excises, to pay the debts and provide

for the common defense and general welfare of the United

States; to borrow money on the credit of the United States;

to regulate commerce with foreign nations,

and among several states, and with the Indian tribes."

There you are, pop.

- Well, I'll be darned.

It worked.

- I figured if this stuff puts our whole class asleep,

it ought to put one baby to sleep.

- Fantastic, Dave.

Well, I guess there's nothing more we can help you with.

- No, I guess not, pop.

- Come on, Thorny.

Thorny, for goodness sake's.

- Ozzie?

- Yeah, here I am, back home at last.

- Well, that certainly was a long walk you took.

- Well, in fairness to everybody concerned,

it was all Thorny's fault. Well, I'd been home earlier,

but I actually had to carry him home and put him to bed.

- What happened?

- Oh, nothing happened.

Well, it's silly for me to try and keep it a secret.

Harriet, I did a very foolish thing tonight.

- What did you do?

- Oh, I wish I had your confidence in David.

Well, I have plenty now though.

Thorny and I stopped by at the Benson's to see

how David was making out.

- Oh, and how is he doing?

- No, fine.

I'll tell you this much.

It's a lucky thing the Benson's had

David taking care of the baby instead of Thorny and me.

- I wouldn't say that.

- Well, you would've if you could have seen us.

The baby woke up and started crying.

Thorny and I had no idea what to do,

but old David came through like a major.

- Well, good for him.

- You know, parents ought to have more

confidence in their children.

Well, you had plenty of confidence in David,

but I have to walk all the way over there to reassure myself,

while you sat home here calm, cool, and confident.

- Well, I wouldn't worry about it, dear.

- Say, I thought you lost your yellow apron.

Here it is right here.

- Oh, Barbara Benson found it.

I'd left it on the baby carriage.

- Oh, good.

I'm glad you got it back.

Oh, boy, I'm tired.

I'll stretch out here for a minute.

- Why don't you go upstairs to bed?

- Oh, I'd rather wait here until David comes home.

Boy, it'd be nice to be able to drop off

to sleep as easy as a baby does, wouldn't it?

- Harriet?

- Yes, dear?

- Did the Bensons stop by here tonight?

- Well, no, not that I know of.

Why don't you close your eyes and go to sleep.

- If they didn't stop by here, how did you get your apron?

I thought Barbara had it.

- Now, close your eyes and go to sleep, dear.

- Well, I can't fall to sleep that easily.

- Well, maybe I can help you.

Article 1, Section 8: "Congress shall

have the power to lay and collect

taxes, duties, imposts--

To pay the debt and provide--

- Oh, what do we have here?

- Oh, I thought I'd make a couple of sandwiches

before we turned in.

- Oh, that reminds me.

Where'd you get those Toll House cookies

we had earlier this evening?

- Can't you guess?

- Well, we know that you were over at the Benson's.

And we also know that when David was over there,

Barbara had made some Toll House cookies for him.

Did you by any chance get those at the Benson's?

- That's right.

- I kind of thought so.

They just weren't as good as the ones you make.

- Oh, really?

- Oh, much too soggy.

Say, Barbara's a nice girl, but she just

can't make Toll House cookies the way you can.

This bends like rubber.

Tastes kind of funny too.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Those cookies just don't make it.

- Ozzie?

- Mm-hm?

- I made that plate of cookies just a few minutes ago.

- Where are you going?

- Upstairs to bed.

This just isn't my night.

- The part of Thorny was played by Don DeFore.

Ozzie was played by Ozzie Nelson.

Harriet was played by Harriet Nelson.

David was played by David Nelson.

Ricky was played by Ricky Nelson.

Barbara was played by Barbara Nelson.

Baby cries were by Mary Nelson.

And the baby was...

Hmm, Laurie Callahan.

- Next week, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky--

Will be brought to you by Listerine, the most widely used

oral antiseptic in the world.

- Ladies and gentlemen, at this very moment in Korea,

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You can give these men the gift of life, a pint of your blood.

The Department of Defense is calling for all Americans

to roll up their sleeves.

There is no substitute for blood.

The need is urgent.

The need is now.

Call your local Red Cross chapter or blood donor center

for an appointment and please keep it.