Original subtitles

- Boy, this milk is just the way I like it, nice and cold.

- Well, that's because our Hotpoint refrigerator

keeps everything at just the right temperature.

- You see, little man, 32 degrees Fahrenheit is freezing.

And laboratory tests have proved that about 36 to 38 degrees

is the proper temperature to maintain.

- Big man!

Scientific mind.

- Hotpoint quality appliances presents

America's favorite family comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet," starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky.

Ozzie Nelson, of course, plays the part of Ozzie.

And here is Harriet Nelson who plays the part of Harriet.

The older of the Nelson boys is David, played by David Nelson,

and the younger brother, the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelsons' next-door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- You're so conceited, David.

- Conceited?

Who's conceited?

- You are.

- I am not.

- You said Will Thornberry doesn't

stand a chance against you.

- So what?

Does that make me conceited?

- Well, what else do you call it?

- You wouldn't understand, half pint.

- Oh, yeah?

- Ugh!

What the heck is going on here?

- Oh.

I'm sorry, pop.

Why don't you watch where you're throwin' the ball, wise guy?

- Who are you calling a wise guy, smart guy?

- Who are you calling a smart guy, wise guy?

- Oh, come on, fellas.

You sound like a couple of wild men.

- Oh, we aren't really mad, pop.

- You just don't know us very well.

- There's an old saying, you know?

"Blood is thicker than water."

Like to see you guys on the same side just once.

- David says Will Thornberry doesn't

stand a chance against him.

- Stop arguing. You heard pop.

We got the same blood in us.

- No wonder I'm so little.

David's been using it all up.

- Come on, cut it out now.

That's the kind of stuff that brings on the arguments.

Why don't you guys go on outside and play football

if you're going to play?

- Come on, let's go over and get Will.

- And don't start arguing with Will either.

He's a nice boy, and he's our neighbor.

- He's not using our blood, too, is he?

- Oh, Ricky, don't be such a sap.

- How can I help it?

I got the same blood as you.

- Don't start arguing with each other all

over the neighborhood. - We won't, pop.

- Not unless you start it, egghead.

- Who you calling a egghead, muttonhead?

- Who you calling a muttonhead, chowderhead.

And don't slam--

- What'd you say, pop?

- Never mind.

- What was the big argument all about?

- Which one?

They were about four going on at the same time.

What have you got there?

- Oh, just making some Toll House cookies.

Say, before I forget it, who is Nancy Baker?

- Nancy Baker?

I don't know. I never heard of her.

Why do you ask?

- Well, she called here today.

- Nancy Baker?

Name doesn't mean a thing to me.

Unless it could have--

No, no, no, it couldn't be.

- Couldn't be what?

- Well, there was this girl on the bus yesterday morning.

And she had these big, heavy bundles,

and so I got up and gave her my seat.

What's wrong with that?

It seemed like the courteous thing to do.

- I didn't say anything.

- I know, but you're looking at me so darn funny.

- What did she look like?

- Well, she had brown, wavy hair and a rather nice smile,

and big, blue eyes...

Well, I don't know.

I hardly noticed her.

Besides, it couldn't possibly have been this girl.

She doesn't even know my right-- or any name, even.

Maybe it was somebody calling up for a gag?

Could have been Thorny.

He does that wonderful impersonation of Bette Davis.

- No, this was really a girl.

She sounded very young and pretty, too.

You sure this girl on the bus didn't worm your name and phone

number out of you?

- Harriet, this is ridiculous!

Just because a guy shows little courtesy to a girl on a bus?

- And there were no other girls during the week?

- This was the only one, unfortunately.

Oh, honestly.

Scout's honor.

The only girl. - It's all right, dear.

I believe you.

- I wonder where this girl got my phone number.

You sure she asked for me?

- No, I didn't say she asked for you.

She asked for David.

- David?

- I just wanted to worry you a little.

- Well, that's a fine trick to play on a guy.

- Oh, who are you kidding?

You enjoyed every minute of it.

- Yeah, I was really living it up there for a minute,

wasn't I?

What did she want with David?

- Well, she said something about a dance at the school

next Saturday. - Dance?

- She's coming over later this afternoon.

I better get these cookies in the oven.

- Well, just a second.

Don't you think David is a little young

to be taking girls to dances?

- Oh, I don't know.

- I mean, after all, he's only 15.

I didn't even start thinking about girls until I was--

Well, I'm sure I didn't take any girl to dances

until I was at least--

It's funny David hasn't shown an interest in girls before this.

- I was wondering why he hadn't mentioned his little girlfriend

to me. He hasn't said a word.

- Well, what's so strange about that?

- Well, he usually talk things over with me.

- Oh.

Well, you've got to face it, dear.

- Face what?

- Well, there comes a time when a boy stops talking things over

with his mother and starts talking them over

with his father.

- I think you're rushing things a little.

- You know, I was just thinking of something.

If David is going to have little girls phoning them and chasing

after him, I think it might be a good idea

if I had a little chat with him and taught

him a few of the little tricks that his old dad used

to use when the girls were chasing after me.

- I have a feeling that this little Nancy Baker

is smarter than you think.

She mentioned something about Will Thornberry.

I think David has a rival.

- Oh, so that's what David was talking about.

- What's this?

- Well, a little while ago, David

said something to Ricky about Will's not

stand a chance against him.

I never dreamed it was a girl they were talking about.

- Oh, so he really is interested in her, huh?

You wait til I see him.

- Oh.

Now, Harriet, don't you start embarrassing the poor kid.

- Well, after all, if he's going to start

taking little girls to dances, I want to hear about it.

- Will you listen to me, please?

I know boys.

I was one myself.

- Yes, I know.

Your mother told me.

- So it's just that I know the pattern.

Now, the first thing he's going to do

is deny any interest in girls whatsoever.

He'll claim he'd rather play football or anything.

- Come on in, Thorny.

- Hi, Harriet. - Oh, hi.

- Oz. - Hiya, Thorny.

- Hello, Thorny.

- Come on in, old boy.

- Well, helping Harriet out in the kitchen, Oz?

- No, but it's not a bad idea.

- Did you come over here to make trouble, Thorny?

- Sorry, Oz.

It was a mean thing to say, especially

since I just ducked out of my kitchen in time myself.

- Look, if you two are gonna loaf, you go in the other room

and do it, because I've got work to do here.

- You know, Thorny, I have a hunch

we're not wanted around here.

- You know, I think you're right.

You don't have to knock me over the knuckles

with a wooden spoon.

- You got to watch little Harriet.

She gets pretty vicious at times.

Come on in, Thorny, and have a seat.

- Thanks.

You know, Oz, I just found out a very interesting thing

about my boy Will today.

- Oh, what's that?

- Now, this may be hard to believe,

but Will has finally reached the age where

he's beginning to notice girls.

- Well, I've got news for you, Thorny.

It seems that David has his eye on the very same little girl.

- You're kidding, Oz.

- No.

- Well, that's not very fair to David.

- Just what do you mean by that?

- Well, if Will is anything like his old man,

he's devastating to women.

Poor little David won't stand a chance.

- Oh, I'm sorry, Thorny, but I find that rather hard

to believe.

- Oh, really, Oz?

It's too bad I'm not a braggart.

Because if I were, I could tell you about all the girls

who used to chase me around.

- Well, plenty of girls used to chase me around, too.

- I know, but the girls who chased me didn't throw rocks.

- I was a pretty popular guy in school, Thorny.

You know, I remember once I was going

steady with three different girls at the same time.

- You know that happened to me?

But it was four girls.

- What a minute, let me think for a moment...

Genevieve-- oh, by golly, I was wrong, Thorny.

It was five girls.

- Now, just a second, Oz. Let's be honest with each other.

Now, how many girls did you really go steady with?

- Only one--

Harriet.

- That's what I thought.

- And how many did you really go steady with?

- Seven.

And now my little boy is following

in his dad's footsteps.

- Yeah, it's really frightening the way they grow up.

You know, it's hard to believe those kids

will be graduating from high school in a couple years,

isn't it?

- Yeah, the next thing will be college.

- Yeah, it's kind of hard to realize

David's going to college.

- Maybe medical school for Will.

He shows a definite talent for medicine.

- I think David will probably go to law school.

He's always been more or less interested in law.

Some pretty tough courses.

- Well, we got pretty smart kids.

- That's for sure.

- It'll be just about Will's senior year

when he meets the girl.

You know, the real girl, like I met Catherine.

- And it'll happen to David, too.

- And then comes the wedding.

Gee, they won't have very much money to start with,

Will just out of medical school and all.

- Oh, young people always find a way, Thorny.

They'll get by OK. - Yeah, I know.

But there's no sense in the kids starting right out

on their own.

We got plenty of room in our house.

Gee, why couldn't they spend a little time with us anyway?

- Oh, I'd like it for Harriet's sake.

If they stayed with us, then David and his wife

could save their money for a home of their own.

- You know, Oz, Will getting married,

going to medical school, that's pretty exciting.

But I understand the biggest thrill,

the thing you always remember is that first grandchild.

- My first grandchild.

Say, is it a little too drafty for you, there?

- Well, it is a little chilly, Oz.

- Would you like me to get a shawl,

throw it across your shoulders?

- No, that's all right.

I'll be running along anyway.

I think I'll take a little nap this afternoon.

- Want me to walk across the lawn with you?

The grass is kind of wet.

It's pretty treacherous rounding the hedge.

- No, that's OK, Oz.

Well, I'll be seeing you, old-timer.

No, no, no, don't get up.

I know my way around this house as if it were my own.

- And that's the way I always want you to think of it,

old-timer-- as your second home.

And I know mother and the boys feel the same way about it.

- Well, it's mighty nice of you, Oz.

And of course, the same goes for you, too.

- We old-timers have to stick together.

Well, goodbye, Thorny.

- No, not goodbye, Oz.

Just till we meet again.

- David, Ricky?

- Hi, mom.

- Don't go away.

Lunch is practically ready, and David has to get dressed.

- Get dressed?

You mean dressed up? - Well, yes.

You want to look nice when Nancy gets here.

- Who?

- Well, your little girlfriend, Nancy Baker.

She's phoned.

- Nancy Baker phoned here?

- Well, yes, dear. I thought you knew.

She's coming over this afternoon.

- Well, what's the big idea?

- Well, she said something about a dance at the school

next Saturday.

- I was supposed to play football this afternoon.

- Nancy Baker.

- Now, you just stop that.

- You've never even seen her.

- Oh, but I will this afternoon. - Oh.

Now, wait a minute, young man.

You're not going to hang around while Nancy is here.

Remember, she's coming for David.

- She can have him, boy.

- I wish she wouldn't stay.

I'm supposed to play football.

- Well, she's not going to stay all afternoon, dear.

- Golly, I hope not.

- I don't know why you take that attitude.

Don't you like her?

- Harriet, stop pumping the boy.

- I'm not pumping him.

What's the matter with her, David?

- Oh, she's all right, I guess, except she

thinks she's pretty good, just because she gets all As

on report card, just because she's

the prettiest girl in school.

- Well, if that were me, I'd think I was pretty good, too.

What does she look like?

- Oh, she has brown, wavy hair, blue eyes, and a nice smile.

- Does her mother ever ride the bus?

- Ozzie, don't change the subject.

- I was just wondering.

- I'll bet she's a lovely girl.

- She sounds perfectly adorable.

- You boys better go wash your hands now.

Lunch is almost ready.

- I don't think I'll have any lunch, mom.

- Now, you see, Harriet? You've upset the boy.

- Oh, I'm all right, pop.

I'm just getting in training.

- I don't think I'll have any lunch either, mom.

- Well, what's the matter with you?

- This whole thing has made me sick.

- Now, that'll be enough now.

You just go wash your hands.

- Shall we adjourn to the powder room, dearie?

- Go on, both of you guys.

Beat it.

Oh, by the way, Harriet, if you have nothing for me to do,

I think I'll go upstairs and dress up a little bit, too.

Do I have a clean shirt somewhere?

- Well, you're not going to change your clothes too,

are you?

- Well, I just thought I'd put on a dark suit and maybe

a different necktie.

- Well, what's the idea?

- Well, you want me to look presentable, don't you?

- Believe me, dear.

I've met Nancy's mother at the PTA.

She has brown hair and brown eyes,

and she's not coming over here this afternoon.

- Are you sure?

- Positive.

- Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's eat.

- How do I look?

- Fine.

- How's my hair look in the back?

- Fine. Fine.

Think you're going to enter a beauty contest or something.

- Mom says I got to look presentable.

- What the heck are you going to do?

- What does it look like I'm going to do?

- Looks like you're going to shave.

- And that's exactly right, sonny boy.

- Are you kidding'?

I've got more fuzz on these grapes.

- Oh, my.

I don't want to look at this.

You cut yourself yet?

- Of course not.

Don't look so disappointed.

- That was pretty good.

- Yeah, it was pretty good, wasn't it?

Maybe next time I'll try it with a blade.

- David had better hurry.

Nancy will probably be here any minute.

- Oh, he's getting dressed now.

- Is he still resisting the idea?

- I rather think so.

He was singing the prisoner song in the shower a moment ago.

- I'm glad you got him to take a shower.

- Oh, he's combing his hair.

He's got a new white shirt on.

He's even borrowed my best necktie.

- Oh, that's good.

I want him to look nice.

Excuse me, dear.

- Thorny will probably have his kid

all decked out in a new blue suit, white carnation

in the lapel, probably teaching him some

of that corny poetry of his.

- Well, why should Thorny care?

- Well, he wants his kid to show David up.

- Sounds ridiculous.

- Oh, Thorny is a pretty ridiculous guy at times.

- Ooh. - Oh, sorry.

- What are you doing?

- I just got an idea.

I thought maybe I'd teach David a couple of tunes on ukulele.

Ooo.

Maybe, "Yes, Sir, That's My Baby,"

or "Somebody Stole My Gal."

Oh, no, no.

- I'm sure he'll do all right, dear.

- Well, it's just a question of family pride.

I don't want Will Thornberry coming over here

with his silk shirt, and his fancy poetry,

and his white carnation, taking David's girl away from him.

I want to make sure Nancy goes to the dance with David.

- Well, she probably will, dear.

Don't forget, David is a very nice boy.

- He's a nice-looking boy, too.

He's got your hair, your eyes, your nose, and my necktie.

- Oh, that's probably Nancy now.

You answer the door, and I'll see if David's ready.

- Well, hello there.

- Hello, I'm Nancy Baker.

Are you Mr. Nelson? - Yes, I am.

Would you come in, Nancy?

- Thank you.

My, you certainly have a lovely home.

- Oh, thanks.

David will be down in just a moment.

He's been out playing football all morning.

He's a very athletic boy, you know.

- Yes, I know he is.

- Yes, we try to encourage that.

Some boys like old poetry, for instance.

But David is strictly an outdoor man.

Won't you sit down, Nancy?

- Thank you.

I see you live next to the Thornberrys.

I know Will Thornberry very well.

- Oh, you know the little Will?

- Yes, he's a very nice boy.

- Yeah, Will is-- he's a very sweet little fella.

- Well, this is Nancy, I presume.

So nice of you to come.

- Oh, this Mrs. Nelson, Nancy. - How do you do?

- How do you do?

David will be right down.

- You certainly have a lovely home.

- Well, thank you.

- David does most of the gardening for us, you know.

He's a very handy boy to have around the house.

- Hello, Nancy.

- Hello, David.

- Why don't you sit down on the couch next to Nancy, David?

- Yes, I'll go make some lemonade.

- How did the football game go this morning, son?

- Well, we were only tossing the ball around, pop.

Wasn't really a game.

- Oh.

You ought to see David fill those passes, Nancy.

He really uncorked some long ones.

- I'm not very good yet.

- Ozzie?

- Yes, dear?

- Will you come help me squeeze the lemons, please?

- But-- oh, OK.

Pardon me one moment, Nancy.

- Your father is a very nice man.

- Yeah, pop is a swell guy.

- Your mother is a very nice woman.

- Yeah, mom's swell, too.

- Do you have anybody else in your family?

- Oh, yeah.

I have a dog and a little brother.

- Oh.

What's his name?

- Chief.

- Your brother's name is Chief?

- No, that's the dog's name.

My brother's name is Ricky.

- Oh.

You certainly have a lovely home.

- Thanks.

- I guess you're wondering why I came over.

- Yeah, I was.

- Well, some of the girls decided

to have a dance next Saturday.

- A dance?

- Yes, do you like dancing?

- I really don't do very much of it.

- We're going to do the Charleston.

That's a new dance step. - Oh, yeah.

They do it in all the movies on television.

- Hi.

- Who's this?

- It's my little brother, Ricky.

- Hello, Ricky.

I'm Nancy Baker.

- Would you like to see me tap dance?

- Just don't pay any attention to him.

- I think he's cute.

- He's not.

- I am, too.

- Can you really tap dance, Ricky?

- Sure.

I can sing, too.

- Really?

- You have to come over and listen to me

sing in the bathtub sometime.

- Hey, Ricky, mom is calling you.

- I don't hear her.

- Hey, mom?

- Yes, David?

- Would you call Ricky, please?

- Hey, that's cheating.

- Ricky, come help your father help me squeeze the lemons.

- What for?

- For about 15 minutes.

- I'll be back a little later.

- Your little brother is very nice.

- Nice of you to say so.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- You certainly have a lovely home.

- Thanks.

- We're each supposed to ask a boy.

- What's this?

- To the dance next Saturday.

- Oh.

- Don't you think dancing is a lot of fun?

- Oh, dancing is all right, but I like football better.

- Oh, football is all right, but I like dancing better.

- All the guys like football.

- I'm a girl.

- Yeah, I guess you are.

- I imagine you'd be very good.

- Oh, I need a little practice on my passing.

- I mean, you'd be a very good dancer.

- Oh, thanks.

- Hello. - Oh.

Hello, Ricky.

- Ricky?

- Well, goodbye.

- It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

- Yeah, swell.

- You certainly have a lovely home.

- Thanks.

- Yes, we're each supposed to ask a boy.

- You asked anyone yet?

- Not yet.

- Oh.

- Were you going to say something?

Go ahead.

- We certainly have a lovely home here.

- Where is David, Harriet?

- Oh, he went over to the playground to play football.

- Oh, good.

Nancy seemed like a very nice little girl, didn't she?

- Didn't she, though?

- How do you think she and David got along?

- Oh, just fine, I guess.

When I came in here with the lemonade,

they were sitting there on the couch just listening.

- Listening to the radio?

- No, Ricky singing.

- Oh, now don't tell me he was interrupting them here.

- No, David seemed so glad to have the company.

I think he's pretty fond of Nancy, though.

He didn't drink any of his lemonade.

- Really?

- Nancy didn't drink hers either.

- That's the first time I've ever heard

of lemonade going to waste.

- Oh, it wasn't wasted.

Ricky drank all three glasses.

- Well, at least it interrupted his singing.

- No, by this time, he was tap dancing.

- Hi, mom, pop.

I got good news. - Well, you sure look happy.

What happened, son?

- I won out over Will Thornberry.

- Well, congratulations.

How about that Harriet?

Thorny and his old poetry...

- When did this happen?

- Just a while ago.

I only beat him by one vote, too.

It was pretty close.

- How about-- one vote?

Well, who voted?

- All the guys on the team.

- Well, what team?

- Our football team.

They're making me captain.

- Well, that's fine, dear.

But what about Nancy Baker?

- Oh, they don't have any girls on the team, mom.

- No, no.

Aren't you going to take Nancy to the dance Saturday?

- I can't, pop.

That's the day of our first game.

- You mean Will Thornberry is going to take her?

- Oh, no.

He's our fullback.

She tried to get him to take a friend of ours.

- Oh, well this is terrible.

The poor little girl won't have anybody

to take her to the dance.

- Sure, she has, mom.

- Well, you just said you and Will

were going to play football.

- Well, yeah.

But she's got a guy to take her.

- Well, who is going to take her?

- Hey, mom?

- Yes, dear?

- Would you teach me how to do the Charleston?

- Harriet, have you seen Ricky?

- Oh, he was here just a minute ago.

He was reading a book.

- Reading a book?

You sure it was Ricky?

- I believe so.

- What kind of a book was it?

- I don't know. I didn't ask him.

It was a book with a gray cover.

- Oh, it was probably that sports digest

I got him for his birthday.

What's this?

- That's it.

- Oh.

Well, no, this isn't the book I gave him.

- Hey, look--

"Poems of Love and Inspiration."

- Next week, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky--

Will be brought to you by Listerine, the most widely used

oral antiseptic in the world.