Original subtitles

Wait, wait, wait.

Yo, rigby, what does this remind you of?

What?

Your 7th-grade science project

On which pizza box makes the best pillow.

What?

Dude, I made groundbreaking discoveries with that project.

Come on, rigby.

We've all done embarrassing stuff.

You know, when I was a kid,

I used to peel the pepperoni off of pizza and eat it separately.

Geez.

Hmm. Okay.

That's not really that embarrassing, Margaret.

I mean, if you want embarrassing,

There's this manifesto I wrote in 6th grade.

Wait, I think I still have it.

Here it is!

"The Eileen plan."

Oh, wow.

"I, Eileen Roberts, do hereby swear"

To accomplish the following

"By the end of my first quarter century on planet earth."

"One... lower age of presidential eligibility to 25."

"Two... Achieve presidency."

Tell me, how's it coming with those?

Hey, I've still got time.

Yeah, you can totally do that stuff by the time you're 44.

What? No, a quarter century is 25 years.

Yeah, I knew that.

"Number three... Marry someone brilliant,"

Preferably with several pants under his belt"?

"Patents."

Oh, "patents."

"But just super smart is okay, too"?

Oh, man!

I don't even know anyone like that,

Much less am I married to him.

Yeah, pretty funny.

"Number four... eliminate allergic responses to peanuts."

Hey, mordecai?

Hey, mordecai?

Hey, mordecai. Ah, what?

Do you think I'm dumb? Yes.

Okay, yeah. I thought so. I was just checking.

No, you're not dumb.

I was just kidding.

You're... Smart?

In your own way?

Dude, where's this coming from?

You've always been cool with being dumb.

It's just...

The Eileen plan.

Even if I was smart in my own way,

Which I'm not, I'm still not brilliant.

I have zero patents or pants.

You're overreacting, man.

Eileen doesn't care about that stuff anymore.

But she doesn't know I didn't graduate from high school.

If I'm ever gonna be the brilliant guy of her dreams,

That's the least I can do.

So, let me get this straight...

You, an adult, want to enroll at this school

So you can get your diploma

Because you're currently too dumb.

^

Pretty much, yeah.

Not a chance, rigby.

You put me through enough grief the first time you went here.

Oh, come on, principal Dean!

I know I screwed up in high school,

But I swear I've changed.

Fine.

I shouldn't do this, but...

Hmm...

You still need three classes to graduate...

A science, a phys ed, and a language.

Choose one to start, and I suggest you be realistic.

I will. Thanks, principal Dean.

You won't regret this.

So, what do you think?

Hmm... Oh, dude, perfect.

Intro to geology. Remember?

Not really.

"Rocks for jocks." "No one ever fails."

Oh, yeah.

All the athletes took it 'cause it was basically a free pass.

Piece of cake. I'll do it.

You're not worried about hanging out with jocks all semester?

Nah, I'm gonna rule that place like a king.

Settle down, class.

We've got a returning student with us today.

Rigby, would you like to come to the front

And introduce yourself?

Hey, dudes, let me rap to you about...

'Sup?

I'm rigby, but my friends call me rigbone.

You guys have actually probably heard of me.

I used to go to this school.

Oh, yeah.

My older brother stepped on your neck in gym class.

Didn't you flunk out?

N-no.

Yeah, right.

Whatever! I only came back here

To prove something to my girlfriend, anyway.

Oh, cool.

Is she a 100-year-old dropout, too?

No.

She's super cool and, like, a genius.

You're old.

Aiden, Braeden, Jayden!

Behave yourself, or you won't pass this class.

Mrs. Kessler, nobody's ever failed your class.

That's true. Okay.

So, from last week, who knows what this is called?

And remember, we ruled out rock hole.

Ohh!

Wow.

You never studied this hard

When you were actually in high school.

Failure's not an option, dude.

If Eileen wants someone brilliant,

She's gonna get someone brilliant.

Hey, Eileen.

Ohh, that was tonight?

Aah. Sorry, I can't.

Uh... Because...

Mordecai got dumped again. That guy, right?

Dude, what the...?

Shh. Yeah, it's real touch-and-go right now.

He needs my support.

We're still on for Friday, though!

The big dance thing we planned for months!

Got to go. See ya!

That's the third thing I've had to turn down this week.

Dude, just tell her the truth.

Not until I'm brilliant.

You hear that?

I heard it, Mrs. k.

I'm sure everyone did, but thanks for responding, rigby.

Well, anyway, the hollow sound

Is how you can tell if a rock is a geode.

Look at that. Gorgeous.

We'll see plenty of these on our field trip Friday night.

Um...

Excuse me. What field trip?