All language subtitles for Grand Crew s02e09 Wine & Journals.eng

- "Los Angeles County
has almost 10 million people,

"and everyone is in
the pursuit of a happier life,

"whatever that might be.

"For me, it meant getting
clarity on my love life

"and trying to figure out
exactly what I wAAAaaaaant.

"Dang it, the letter A
on my keyboard

keeps getting jaaAAAaamed."

[sighs]

"So in order to find
that clarity,

"my therapist suggested
that I start journaliiiing.

DAAaaaaaay--"

Oh, come on!

[breathes deeply]

"Welp." [groans]
"I guess the letter I

"is jammed as well.

"Anyway, it felt like
a new chapter for me

"and the whole crew,
and I was loOOOkiiing

"foooorward to--ohhh nOOoo.

I need a new compuuterrrrr."

- ♪ Whoop, whoop

♪ Cabernet and sauvignon

♪ Team is here
and now it's on ♪

♪ Carry on and Carignan,
sippin' on Perignon ♪

♪ Fine wine,
got notes like a cello ♪

♪ Pull up in the spot
like hello ♪

♪ If you got me,
then I got you ♪

♪ This is the vibe,
this is the crew ♪

♪ Grand crew, grand crew, uh

♪ Grand crew, grand crew,
grand crew, uh ♪

♪ Grand crew

- What's going on over there,
Wyatt?

Why you cheesin' so hard?

- Oh, my niece Nadine is coming
to visit.

Well, she's not
really my niece.

She's my cousin,
but y'all know how we do.

- Yeah, of course.
- So her mom is going through

a bit of a rough patch,
so she's staying

for a couple of weeks,
and it's just gonna be

the two of us until Kristen
gets back in town.

- Oh, wow.
She's really growing up.

- [laughs]
- Last time we saw her,

she was, like, all small

and her face was all smushy
and she didn't have any teeth.

- You mean when she was a baby?
- Yeah.

Yeah, maybe that was
what it was.

- It's gonna be a lot
of responsibility,

but I'm not worried
because I have a lot

of experience being a dad
to all my plants.

- What are you gonna do,
water your niece?

- What I mean is, this is gonna
be kind of a chance

for me to be fatherly
in a different kind of way.

- Ah, yes, because being
a plant dad

is in no way, shape, or form
real fatherhood.

- My niece is visiting,
and I'm excited.

Let's move on.
Noah's dating again.

- What? Hold up.
You just can't change

the subject like that.
- Uh, yes he can.

What's up with you, Noah?
You boo'd up again?

- I knew you'd just hop back
into a relationship.

You disgust me.

- Yo, chill out, okay?

After everything went down
with me and Simone,

I obviously needed some time
to myself,

but, yeah, you know,
I'm finally searching again.

But I'm also cool just to have
some adventures along the way.

- Okay, so you talking about
a ho phase.

- No, I'm talking about a phase
where I search for my person

without any expectations
and I prioritize my growth.

- Mm, textbook ho language.

- Look, anyway, you know,
I've been journalin' daily

and then doin' a lot
of reflection.

And I even have a third date
with someone this week,

and I'm just really excited--

- To have sex.
- No.

I'm excited to get to know her.

- Sexually.
- No.

I mean...

I mean, I'm not not excited
to get to know her sexually.

- You know what I'ma call ya?

Ho-ah.
- [laughs]

- Please don't.
- To Ho-ah.

all: To Ho-ah.
[laughter]

- "I did not like being
called "Ho-ah.

"I mean, what kind of nickname
is Ho-ah anyway?

"Just swappin' out one letter.

"In any case, I was excited

"to see what these streets had
in store for me.

"Meanwhile,
my two ho-ass friends,

Anthony and Sherm,
were chillin'.

- Previously
on "Probably Pregnant"...

- I don't think I'm pregnant,
but also I don't use condoms

and I've been getting
real sick in the morning time,

so who knows?

[grunts]

- Yo, you think she's pregnant?

- Probably?

[knock at door]
Come in.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey, what's up?

- Oh, I love this show.

You won't believe it,

but she's not actually
pregnant.

It's just a big cyst.
- Oh, come on!

- Damn, Nicky!
- What?

- Did you actually come over
here to tell me something,

or did you just come over here
to ruin the show?

- No.
You know how you've been, like,

casually searching for a house
for years

and you made me promise you
that if I ever found one,

I'd let you know?
- Yeah.

- I found you a house.
- Interesting.

- Yeah, but you know
I'm pretty particular,

and I've never come close
to finding the right place.

- Yeah, 'cause you haven't been
using a professional like me.

Kind of like
how I was doing my taxes

by myself until you helped me.

- You weren't filing your taxes
at all.

- No, I wasn't,
but you helped me understand

how important it is
to file your taxes.

I can't go to jail.
She too cute.

Come on, let me help you
like you helped me.

- Don't get your hopes up,
Nicky.

It's gonna take a miracle
to get Anthony

to move out
of his conveniently located,

rent-controlled apartment.

And let's be real.

Havin' me as a roommate is
the real American dream.

- It definitely is not.

Come on.
Lemme just show you the place.

There's an open house tomorrow.

- Okay, word.
- Okay. Yes. [laughs]

- "And later that night,

"I was on a date with Jordan,

"a search engine
optimization engineer

for Google who lived
in Atwater Village."

Thank you so much for helping
me set up my new computer.

[both laugh]
- It's nothing.

This stuff is second nature
to me.

- Mm.
- But just a heads-up...

- Mm-hmm.
- You need stronger passwords.

Noah143 isn't gonna cut it.

- [laughs] Yeah, I've been
using that password

for, like, 20 years.

- Now is probably a good time
to rethink that.

- Fo' sho.
[chuckles]

So I hope
this isn't too forward,

but I think it's sexy
how good you are with tech.

- Well, I'm good with a lot
of things.

- Oh, really? Like what?

- Well, I also play tennis,

and I dabble in pottery.

- Oh, you talking about
actual hobbies?

- I'm kidding.

I was talking about hooking up.

- Oh, thank goodness.
Do you wanna get outta here?

- Yeah.
- Okay. Let's go right now.

"And so our adventure
continued back at her place,

and we got it on
all night long."

[Silk's "Freak Me"]

- ♪ Let me lick you
up and down ♪

- "Yep, all night long.

"Like, for real.

All night long."

- [vocalizing]

- "Like, literally,
the whole night."

- ♪ Baby

- "I mean, I was up till
the early morning,

"puttin' in that work,
and so was Nicky,

trying to sell Anthony
a new home."

- So Anthony,
what do you think?

- Meh.

No, I'm just kidding.

It's everything
I ever envisioned

in a first home.

I'm sorry I doubted you.
- Nicky forgives you,

but Nicole never forgets.
- [laughs] Okay, noted.

- This could really all
be yours.

- But it's a lot of space
for one person.

I mean, you don't have
any kids.

You don't have a wife.

You don't even have
a girlfriend.

- Rude.
- I mean, he's right.

I am single as hell.
- Okay, whatever.

Here's what I ask
all my clients.

What did you feel when you
walked in through that door?

- It felt good.

I felt it in my chest.

- Mm, that is a good sign.

The boobies are where
the house chakras are.

This is a perfect opportunity.

Houses appreciate every year.

Think about
what this is gonna do

to your personal balance sheet.

- Long-term appreciation?
Ooh, yummy.

[laughs]
You know what? I'm in.

- Yes!
- What?

- Ooh, let's take another lap.

- "Anthony was feeling
all types

"of house chakras
in his boobies.

Sherm, on the other hand..."

- Fantastic.

[gasps]
Ay, yo, my man.

Please buy this house.

.

- So my third date with
that girl Jordan went great

and then we had sex
for five hours.

- Was there an issue,
or is this just a flex?

- Initially, that was a flex,
but then last night,

we hooked up for the same
amount of time again.

I think this is
her ideal sex time.

- Damn, every time?

That's a part-time job.

- Yeah, she owes you money.

- Yeah, well,
I'm glad we all can agree

that five hours is a bit much.

So what are y'all's sex times?

[light music]

Come on, really?

- I'm not goin' first.
- Yep, neither am I.

Wyatt told me to text him
if anything juicy popped off.

- All right, I'll go first.

50 minutes.

- 50 minutes, really?

- I'ma say 30 minutes.

If we both can't achieve
satisfaction in the time

it takes me to watch a episode
of "Family Guy,"

then we doin' something wrong.

Also, I like to have

"Family Guy" on
in the background.

- Bro, that's a whole other
conversation.

But I can get a lot done

in 25 to 45 minutes.
[phone dings]

- Okay, Wyatt texted me back.

He says, "During the week,
Kristen and I will get busy

"anywhere from 4 to 20 minutes
to accommodate her schedule.

"But on weekends,
it's all night long,

and sometimes
I do this thing with my nose"--

- No, no, no.
- Please stop, no.

- Stop, ugh.
- Wild.

Anthony?

- I mean, mine's right around
where y'all are at.

- [scoffs]

Fine, my ideal sex time is
41 minutes and 14 seconds.

- You got it down
to the second?

- What? Don't judge me.
I didn't judge you.

That's 9 minutes
of disrobing and kisses,

17 minutes of foreplay
and shenanigans,

15 minutes of intercourse,

and 14 seconds
for a simultaneous finish.

- Simultaneous finish?
- When possible.

Now it's not always achieved,
but it's always the goal.

- Mm, but what is
"shenanigans," though?

- Oh, so you're not
saying nothing?

- "I didn't think
these streets

"were gonna be so stressful,

"but hearing
that everyone's sex times

"were under five hours
made me wonder

"if I should bring this up
with Jordan.

"At the same time,
my boy Wyatt was trying

to make his house a home
for his niece Nadine."

- All right, now,
did you have a good time

at the Bob Baker
Marionette Theater?

- Yes.
- And who is the best uncle

that you know?
- Weezy.

- Sss.
- [laughs]

- Some lunch?
- Yes, please.

- Great.

Oh, what's that you got there?

- "Finding Frederick Douglass."
There's different pictures

with lots of stuff in them,
and you have to try

and find Frederick Douglass
in the picture.

- Oh, so it's like
"Where's Waldo?"

That's fun. You know what?

Let's see
who can find him first.

- Found him!
- Oh.

Don't tell me.
[laughs]

Oh, there he is.
That--that--

no, that's a coconut.

Huh.

Huh.

Where in the heck is he?

- And while Wyatt
was searching

for Frederick Douglass,

Sherm was searching for a way

not to lose Anthony
as a roommate.

- You know, my grandpa Maxim
never bought a house.

He always rented,
lived to be 108 years old.

- Wow, that's amazing.

- And my cousin Bud died
when he was 28,

the same year he bought
his first home.

- Damn.
- Now those two are

completely unrelated,

but it does make you wonder.

Anyway, that's not gonna be
your story.

[laughs]
- I hope not.

Though I guess buying a house
is kind of a gamble.

- Oh, yeah, but a good gamble.

You know, I admire somebody
with the confidence

to throw
their whole life savings

into something that could
just burn down or flood

or just fall to the ground
for no reason.

- Dang.

Houses do be fallin', huh?

- Oh, houses stay fallin'.

But again, not gonna be you.

[laughs]
I know it.

I'm happy about this move
for you.

I love it, even though
it's all goin' kind of fast.

- It is moving kind of fast,
huh?

- Sherm scared the hell
outta Anthony.

[laughs]
I mean, he was really shook.

But maybe Sherm was right.

Why not play it safe?

Why disrupt a good thing?

- Hey, I got you that zinfandel

with notes of black plum,
raspberries.

That's what you're drinking
nowadays, right?

- Yes, it is. Thank you kindly.
- Of course.

I also got you something else.

- Let's see what this is, hmm.

- Wow, this is a dope fitted.

[laughs]
Now, Nicky, you mind telling me

what this is all about?

- Oh, it's just
a thoughtful gesture

between friends.

Also, if you happen
to have another conversation

with Anthony about
buying houses,

maybe you just
keep your mouth shut.

- [laughs]
It all makes sense now.

Listen, Anthony not movin'
forward with that house

has nothing to do with me.

- He said it is because of you.

- Okay, maybe it has
a little bit to do with me.

But if he don't want the house,
he don't want the house.

- Sherm, this is a really great
opportunity for him,

and you're messing it up.

- You just mad
because I'm taking commission

outta your pocket.

Please stop trying to profit

off of our friend group.

We are not the Temptations.

- Maybe we are the Temptations,
and you're David Ruffin

bein' all selfish, not letting
the group be its best.

- You take that back.
I am not David Ruffin.

- You are David Ruffin.

You are making this
all about you.

Anthony is a VP
at his accounting firm.

He makes more money than anyone
in our friend group,

and he was really excited
about that house.

- You sure about that?
- Yeah.

And you're holding him back
because you're comfortable

just staying at the same level,
and that's messed up.

And I'm taking back this bribe.
- Oh.

But I want that hat.

I'll pay you for it.

At least tell me
where you got it.

- Later that night
in Atwater Village,

I was ready to speak
my sexual truth to Jordan.

The only question was,
would she accept it?

So, hey, I--I wanted to talk
to you about something.

- Absolutely.
Is everything okay?

- Yeah, for sure.

Uh, so you know

I've just been getting back
out there

after my ex-girlfriend's
divorce and deportation.

- Huh?
- That's not important.

But what is important is,
I've been journaling

about my feelings
so I don't fall

into my old patterns,

where the old me would rush in
and maybe avoid

uncomfortable conversations.

- What's the uncomfortable
conversation?

- Um...

I don't know that I can
have sex for five hours

every single time.

- Oh.

Well, that's okay.

Look, I just work out a lot,

and so I approach sex
the same way.

Going long is fun for me.

- And that's great, and I--
pssh, hey, I respect that.

- Well, how long do you like
to go for?

- I mean, I'm more of a, like,
45-minute guy,

but I know what you like.

You know, I figure we could
meet somewhere in between?

- That sounds good to me.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Perfect.

And we had sex for...

- ♪ I wanna get freaky
with you, girl ♪

- Not as long,
and it was great.

- That was nice.
- Yeah.

Yeah, that definitely was.

- Um, do you maybe wanna spend
the night?

- Sure, I mean,
if you're cool with it.

- I am.

Good night.
- Good night.

Man, this was great.

Speaking my sexual truth

really worked out
for the both of us.

I was satisfied. Jordan was--

[vibrating]

Hold up. Was she--

.

- "So the previous night left
me feeling like, 'Damn,

"I don't want Jordan to have
to use electronic assistance

"after we hook up,'

"so there was only one thing
for me to do:

"get my conditioning up

"because if Jordan wanted
to go all night,

I needed
to get my body right."

- ♪ Let me lay it
on the line ♪

♪ I got a little freakiness
inside ♪

♪ And you know that the man
has gotta deal with it ♪

[Adina Howard's
"Freak Like Me"]

♪ 'Cause I will be a freak
until the day ♪

♪ Until the dawn

♪ And we can boom boom
all through the night ♪

♪ Till the early morn

♪ Come on and I will take you
around the hood ♪

♪ On a gangsta lean
- ♪ One to the two

♪ To the two, to the three

♪ Adina, do you wanna get
freaky with me? ♪

- 'Cause I will be a freak
until the day ♪

♪ Until the dawn

- And while my heart rate
was bumpin',

so was Sherm's subconscious
after his fight with Nicky.

[light music]

♪

- "Top 40
Most Successful People

in the World
that Still Have Roommates"?

What the hell?

- Sherm, hurry up.

Season 50
of "Probably Pregnant"

is about to start.
- Season 50?

- This show just started.

Why do you look like that?

- [groans] Yo. [laughs]

- What the hell?
- What up, roommate?

- Yeah, what's good?
What's good?

[laughs]
[door clicks open]

- Anthony.

I know you been searchin'
for a house

for the last 35 years,

but I think I finally found you
the one.

- Ah, Nicky, chill.
Don't you get it?

I ain't goin' nowhere, baby.
[laughing] Come on.

- Sherm has really
held you back.

Y'all have never grown up.

- Sherm is my ride-or-die.

[groaning]

[moans]
- Anthony.

- I just realized I should've
bought a house years ago.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, come on.

- Sherm, this is all
your fault.

- Aah!

- And while Nicky was haunting
Sherm's dreams,

Frederick Douglass
was haunting Wyatt.

After days, he still couldn't
find him in that book.

Can you believe that?
- Thanks, Uncle Wyatt.

- My pleasure, niece-piece.

- So do you wanna play
"Finding Frederick Douglass"

with me?
- How 'bout we give it a rest?

You should be spending more
of your time on books

with words in them,
don't you think?

- I guess.
- Okay.

Well, I have some work
to do in the studio

for a couple of hours, so just
knock if you need me, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

[upbeat music]

Okay, Mr. Douglass,
where are you?

- Wyatt couldn't help himself.

At this point, it was bigger
than Frederick Douglass,

so he searched

and he searched...

and he searched.

♪

He even researched.

The man went crazy.

I mean, look at this guy.

And he seemed to come close...

but Frederick Douglass
evaded him yet again.

- Frederick Douglass...

[voice echoing]
Where are you?

- Meanwhile, Sherm had
a big ol' epiphany,

and he was ready to share it
with Anthony and Nicky.

- Anthony, Nicky,
thank you for meeting me.

- What's this about, Sherm?

- Anthony, I think you should
bid on the house.

- Really? What made you
change your mind?

- It came to me in a dream.

- But what about all that stuff
you were saying earlier?

- I had a change of heart,
another classic Sherm 180.

I can see now
I was being selfish.

- Are you sure this had nothing
to do with the conversation

we had earlier?
- No.

Anthony, you a VP
at an accounting firm.

You got more savings
than the whole crew.

You're ready for this.
- That's exactly what I said.

Give me some credit.
- No. It came to me in a dream.

- Was I in the dream?
- Nicky, these thoughts

are coming to me in real time.

If you could please
stop interrupting.

- You know,
I've always fantasized

about having two offices,

one for business
and one for pleasure.

- See, that's insane,
but you deserve it.

And I don't wanna see you die
in our apartment.

- Yeah, I don't know what
that's about.

- Hey, Nicky,
is there still time

to bid on that house?
- Yes.

They're accepting
counteroffers,

but it's gonna be competitive.

- Then let's compete!
[laughs] I'm back in.

- Yes, and Nicky,
please don't screw this up.

- But you're the one
that almost screwed it up.

- I have no idea
what you're talking about.

- Why is your memory
so selective?

.

[phone ringing]

- Hey, Nicky. Sup?

- Don't you "Nicky" me.

I heard every word
you said about me,

you bitch.
- Huh?

Nicky, this is Anthony.

- Oops, sorry.
That was a misdial.

But hey, I was gonna call you
after I called my enemy.

Look, we're down
to best and final offers,

so you're gonna have
to put up some more money

if you wanna get the house.
- [groans]

I can't go much higher
than where we're at.

I'm already pushin' it.
- Okay. I understand.

- This just isn't the one,
I guess.

- Yeah, but listen, I will
find you something, I promise.

There are other homes
out there.

- Okay. Thanks.

- All right, bye.
- Peace.

- And while Anthony's search
for a home came to a halt,

Wyatt's obsession
with Frederick Douglass

was affecting his relationship
with little Nadine.

- Hey, Nadine.
Whatcha got there?

- Nothing.

- Nadine, you know you don't
have to hide stuff from me.

What is it?

- It's drugs.
- What? What?

Dru--

[groans]

It's just
"Finding Frederick Douglass."

Why would you tell me
it's drugs?

- I don't know. I panicked.

It's just
I know you hate the book.

I thought drugs would
stress you out less.

- Well, I--I don't--
I don't hate the book.

It's just I'm very, very bad
at it.

- I usually do this book

every night before bed
with my mom,

and I wanted
to play it with you

because you're
my favorite uncle.

- I am so sorry, Nadine.

I didn't mean to keep you
from this book.

And it doesn't even matter
if I'm terrible at it.

You know what?

Let's play.
- Okay.

Thanks, Uncle Weezy.
- [chuckles]

[chill music]

- Do you see Frederick Douglass
yet?

- Of course not.
[both laugh]

- Anthony!
- Ow!

Who slaps somebody in the back
of the head?

- Me. I do.

I've got great news.

You got the house.
- What?

- The owner,
she changed her mind.

- For real? Why?
- Well, apparently,

your current
and soon-to-be former roommate

wrote a very convincing letter.

- Sherm made this happen?
- Yeah.

- Wow.
- The house is yours.

Congrats!
- We did it!

- [laughs]
- Oh, you're the best.

- And after some serious work
in the gym,

I was ready to go the distance
with the Google engineer.

- Hey, so I wanted
to talk to you.

- About the sex? Oh.

I--I know I asked
for shorter sessions,

but I am totally prepared
to go long again.

[both laugh]
- Okay, well, that's great.

But Noah, what you said about

not avoiding
uncomfortable conversations...

it kind of inspired me
to face what I want head-on.

- That's great. What's up?

- Well...

I really like you
and I wanna be your girlfriend.

- So Jordan wanted
to go the distance

in the bedroom and out,
and in that moment,

I had to search myself.

Old Noah would be
doing backflips

and picking out baby names.

I'm sorry, but...

that's just not
where I'm at right now.

But these were
different times.

- Oh, okay.

Well, I thought we were vibing.

I fixed your computer.

You spent the night.

I don't do that with everyone.

Um, but, you know, it's cool,
yeah.

- Jordan, I'm sorry.

I--I guess I should get going.

- Hey, do you wanna have sex
all night one last time?

- Fo' sho.

both: Mmm.

- I had been wondering

for a long time
if I could get back

into the dating scene
without committing too fast,

and I finally had my answer.

Five hours later, Jordan and I
officially stopped dating.

[upbeat music]

It felt like a new day
for all of us,

and like we were all searching
for something.

both: And we were starting
to find it.

We were also reaffirming
aspects of our lives...

- That we had wanted
for a long time.

And hacking Noah's cloud and
reading his private journal

has made me realize
that maybe I should search

a little bit less.

I guess we're all
a work in progress.

- Yeah.

- Not a doctor. Shh.

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