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1
00:00:06,661 --> 00:00:08,297
? Hey, good morning, baby ?
2
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,175
? You need some java, baby? ?
3
00:00:11,828 --> 00:00:14,142
? We got to wake up, baby ?
4
00:00:14,175 --> 00:00:16,681
? Last night was really crazy ?
5
00:00:16,706 --> 00:00:18,826
? I think I liked it, baby ?
6
00:00:18,851 --> 00:00:20,789
? Damn, you smooth, baby ?
7
00:00:20,822 --> 00:00:24,462
? Looking like you
moisturize, baby ?
8
00:00:24,495 --> 00:00:27,068
? Tell me where
to buy it, baby ?
9
00:00:27,101 --> 00:00:28,638
? I'm dry, I need
the product, baby ?
10
00:00:29,699 --> 00:00:31,402
? Got my hand on navel ?
11
00:00:31,427 --> 00:00:34,267
? Then she slid her
panties to the ankle ?
12
00:00:34,292 --> 00:00:36,531
? Made me back up and
look at the bussy ?
13
00:00:36,654 --> 00:00:38,423
? Bussy glistening
like a heavyweight ?
14
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,931
? You want to fuck me, baby? ?
15
00:00:41,956 --> 00:00:44,143
? Haven't showered
in a minute, girl ?
16
00:00:44,168 --> 00:00:46,406
? But if you with it,
then I'm with it, baby ?
17
00:00:46,439 --> 00:00:49,312
? I will shower you
with every curl ?
18
00:00:49,345 --> 00:00:51,584
? Are you freaky, baby? ?
19
00:00:51,617 --> 00:00:53,655
? Spooning me
like I was soup ?
20
00:00:53,688 --> 00:00:56,526
? Want me to be
dirty like a goose? ?
21
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,600
? Ooh, but what do
you like, baby? ?
22
00:00:59,633 --> 00:01:02,305
? Do you want me to
choke you, baby? ?
23
00:01:02,338 --> 00:01:04,342
? She said, "That's
okay, baby" ?
24
00:01:04,375 --> 00:01:06,513
? "That's okay" as
in you want that? ?
25
00:01:06,547 --> 00:01:10,120
? Or "That's okay" as
in "No, thanks, baby"? ?
26
00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:12,224
? She look at me crazy ?
27
00:01:12,258 --> 00:01:14,295
? I said, I don't mean to
complicate it, no, no ?
28
00:01:14,329 --> 00:01:16,366
? Let me grab a condom, baby ?
29
00:01:16,399 --> 00:01:18,905
? I put it on, then
she, then she ?
30
00:01:18,938 --> 00:01:21,577
? Throws it back, give
me the ass, pop it ?
31
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:24,282
? Tickle the breast,
nibble the crack, stop it ?
32
00:01:24,315 --> 00:01:26,252
? General Custer, with
the tactics, I'm a demon ?
33
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:29,760
? I could feel the semen
creeping 'round the penis ?
34
00:01:29,793 --> 00:01:31,731
? Being a man in there ?
35
00:01:31,764 --> 00:01:34,803
? We need a ambulance,
pussy getting killed ?
36
00:01:34,837 --> 00:01:37,776
? She orgasming,
body spasming ?
37
00:01:37,809 --> 00:01:41,884
? Then I finally finish,
can you feel it, baby? ?
38
00:01:41,917 --> 00:01:43,755
? Sliding off,
where's the condom? ?
39
00:01:43,788 --> 00:01:46,694
? Whoa! Well, it's not
on my penis, baby ?
40
00:01:46,727 --> 00:01:49,332
? It's so confusing, baby ?
41
00:01:49,365 --> 00:01:51,737
? Uh, did I-did I just
fuck you raw, baby? ?
42
00:01:51,771 --> 00:01:53,775
? Uh, I'm looking round
and I don't see it, baby ?
43
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,344
? I move the blanket,
move the covers ?
44
00:01:55,377 --> 00:01:56,813
? Where's the rubber, baby? ?
45
00:01:56,838 --> 00:01:59,334
? Now she's digging like a
caveman in her bussy for it ?
46
00:01:59,359 --> 00:02:01,642
? Even if you find it in there,
what's the difference, baby? ?
47
00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:04,137
? Semen probably already leaking
in there, swimming in you ?
48
00:02:04,162 --> 00:02:05,574
? She says she still
don't want no condoms ?
49
00:02:05,598 --> 00:02:06,801
? Sitting in her insides ?
50
00:02:06,834 --> 00:02:07,812
? I said I understand ?
51
00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:09,360
? But there are
bigger fish to fry ?
52
00:02:09,385 --> 00:02:10,695
? She said, "You blaming me" ?
53
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:11,998
? "But you're the
one who put it on" ?
54
00:02:12,022 --> 00:02:14,459
? I am not blaming you, and I
don't think I put it on wrong ?
55
00:02:14,484 --> 00:02:16,931
? I put it on my pinky first
to see which way it go ?
56
00:02:16,956 --> 00:02:19,308
? Because I'm well aware that
condoms aren't reversible ?
57
00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:20,653
? She screamed, "I
found it, baby!" ?
58
00:02:20,677 --> 00:02:22,005
? She pulled it out her bussy ?
59
00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:23,267
? But I can't celebrate it ?
60
00:02:23,292 --> 00:02:24,371
? 'Cause we got bigger fishy ?
61
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,832
? Girl, I ejaculated ?
62
00:02:25,857 --> 00:02:27,126
? And I don't see it in there ?
63
00:02:27,151 --> 00:02:27,974
? She said it's fine ?
64
00:02:28,025 --> 00:02:30,122
? She'll just take the
morning-after pill ?
65
00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:32,686
? Oh, oh ?
66
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,522
? Thank God for the tech now ?
67
00:02:34,556 --> 00:02:37,294
? We should probably
go and get it now ?
68
00:02:37,328 --> 00:02:40,668
? This is life when
you're young and wild. ?
69
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:42,873
Don't worry, it'll be fine.
70
00:02:42,906 --> 00:02:46,547
- Okay. Let's lie down after all that.
- (sighs)
71
00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:48,718
- Ah. Take the load off.
- (chuckles)
72
00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:51,322
Get in here.
73
00:02:51,356 --> 00:02:53,393
- (shutter clicks)
- Oh.
74
00:02:54,339 --> 00:02:55,965
- Wow. (chuckles)
- Okay.
75
00:02:55,999 --> 00:02:58,236
I fucked Lil Dicky.
76
00:02:59,005 --> 00:03:01,376
(sighs)
77
00:03:04,716 --> 00:03:07,521
? ?
78
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:15,074
Support us and become VIP member
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79
00:03:19,546 --> 00:03:21,650
GATA: I promise you,
bro. You cannot get a STD
80
00:03:21,684 --> 00:03:24,111
going in the pussy raw
for only ten seconds.
81
00:03:24,136 --> 00:03:25,244
Who says it was ten seconds?
82
00:03:25,268 --> 00:03:26,782
It could've been ten,
it could've been 48.
83
00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:28,940
I have no idea. I fucked
the condom off my dick
84
00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:30,575
trying to give her this,
like, rock star style sex
85
00:03:30,599 --> 00:03:32,267
that I assume she
wants out of me.
86
00:03:32,292 --> 00:03:33,948
You are a rock star.
This your first tour.
87
00:03:33,973 --> 00:03:35,019
You're supposed to go hard.
88
00:03:35,043 --> 00:03:36,681
That's the whole
issue, in my opinion.
89
00:03:36,706 --> 00:03:39,144
I feel like all of these girls
just want to fuck Lil Dicky.
90
00:03:39,169 --> 00:03:41,541
Is it really a crime to
want someone who wants
91
00:03:41,566 --> 00:03:43,688
to fall in love with...
92
00:03:43,761 --> 00:03:45,473
- the real Dave?
- Bro, you got to think about her needs.
93
00:03:45,497 --> 00:03:47,282
She got her nails done,
she got her outfit.
94
00:03:47,307 --> 00:03:48,506
She told all her friends.
95
00:03:48,531 --> 00:03:49,883
It's gonna be the
highlight of her year.
96
00:03:49,907 --> 00:03:51,777
You got to beat
the pussy up, bro.
97
00:03:51,811 --> 00:03:53,815
But I don't even... I
don't fuck like this.
98
00:03:53,848 --> 00:03:55,350
That's not how I
fuck, Gata, okay?
99
00:03:55,384 --> 00:03:57,933
I-I do this. It's
more... It's rhythmic.
100
00:03:57,958 --> 00:03:59,735
Man, that shit look
complicated, man.
101
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,364
Complicated? It's so
simple. It's missionary.
102
00:04:02,398 --> 00:04:04,302
- (scoffs)
- (country music plays quietly)
103
00:04:04,335 --> 00:04:05,839
(door closes)
104
00:04:08,109 --> 00:04:09,989
DAVE: Hi.
105
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:14,890
You're just gonna
bust those open, bruh?
106
00:04:14,923 --> 00:04:16,570
- You ain't gonna pay for them first?
- I'm gonna pay for 'em.
107
00:04:16,594 --> 00:04:18,931
- Just chill out.
- (scoffs)
108
00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:27,381
(man clears throat)
109
00:04:27,414 --> 00:04:30,755
Y'all find everything okay?
110
00:04:31,757 --> 00:04:34,997
Yeah. (coughs) Oh.
111
00:04:35,030 --> 00:04:36,767
I'm sorry.
112
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,742
You guys have condoms here?
113
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:42,790
It's the same
condoms everywhere.
114
00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:43,824
Why don't they make, like,
115
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,552
smaller condoms for
the smaller dicks?
116
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:48,227
Like, they make Magnums
for, like, big-dicked men.
117
00:04:48,252 --> 00:04:49,836
I feel like the condom would
stay on the dick easier
118
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:51,462
if it was smaller sometimes.
119
00:04:51,496 --> 00:04:52,875
GATA: If you're that
concerned about STDs,
120
00:04:52,899 --> 00:04:54,174
why don't you just use
the Scroguard, bro,
121
00:04:54,198 --> 00:04:55,928
that Mike got you...
That plastic diaper shit?
122
00:04:55,952 --> 00:04:58,391
Uh, that's private business.
Don't talk about it.
123
00:04:58,758 --> 00:05:01,295
I don't know what he's talking
about, but he's not dangerous.
124
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,488
- You crazy, man.
- They know I'm joking.
125
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,560
GATA: Man, they got the
Confederate flag in there, bro.
126
00:05:06,584 --> 00:05:08,216
- It's the Texas flag.
- (scoffs)
127
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:11,510
Looked pretty Confederate
to me, man. Hey, Cliff.
128
00:05:11,897 --> 00:05:13,019
I got the goods.
129
00:05:13,044 --> 00:05:14,357
- Ooh.
- Pistachios, but I can't...
130
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:15,845
- For you.
- Merci.
131
00:05:15,879 --> 00:05:17,916
- They break my teeth, man.
- For you. - Thank you.
132
00:05:17,949 --> 00:05:19,996
- You want to smoke this?
- All right, man. It's hot.
133
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,524
- Uh, I'll take a hit, I guess.
- (Gata scoffs)
134
00:05:23,326 --> 00:05:26,466
You just wet m y fucking
blunt. You're fucking nasty.
135
00:05:26,499 --> 00:05:27,836
I'm gonna get some color.
136
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,269
ELZ: Racist.
137
00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:31,331
No disrespect.
138
00:05:45,772 --> 00:05:49,111
(sighs)
139
00:05:49,145 --> 00:05:50,715
(footsteps approaching)
140
00:05:50,748 --> 00:05:52,418
Trying to burn off the bacteria?
141
00:05:52,451 --> 00:05:54,723
I'm just not built for this.
142
00:05:54,756 --> 00:05:57,394
I can't be, like, the
rapper who goes around
143
00:05:57,436 --> 00:05:59,841
and fucks every night.
That's not my thing.
144
00:05:59,866 --> 00:06:01,870
But I'm trying to
rewire my brain
145
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,432
so I can actually
have fun for once.
146
00:06:03,457 --> 00:06:04,986
You've been stressed.
You've been working so hard.
147
00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:06,880
I know. And tour is just
the one time in life
148
00:06:06,914 --> 00:06:09,192
- where there's no album to hand in.
- Yup.
149
00:06:09,217 --> 00:06:11,657
There's no songs to
make. I can just be free
150
00:06:11,690 --> 00:06:13,526
- and live life to the F.
- Yup.
151
00:06:13,561 --> 00:06:15,674
It's exactly like the time I
was up in the air. It was one
152
00:06:15,698 --> 00:06:17,661
- of those moments...
- This has nothing to do with skydiving.
153
00:06:17,685 --> 00:06:19,230
This has everything to
do with skydiving, David.
154
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,450
- Nothing to do...
- No, when you're
155
00:06:20,474 --> 00:06:21,442
hurtling toward the earth
156
00:06:21,476 --> 00:06:22,246
at 120 miles an hour,
157
00:06:22,271 --> 00:06:23,791
you're reaching max
veloce, it's incredible.
158
00:06:23,815 --> 00:06:25,257
And the chute doesn't open,
you start to freak out,
159
00:06:25,281 --> 00:06:27,457
but that's when you
learn. You learn, David.
160
00:06:27,482 --> 00:06:28,908
-When the instructor
kisses you -Mm.
161
00:06:28,933 --> 00:06:31,997
On the small of your neck,
and he says, "I'm sorry!,"
162
00:06:32,031 --> 00:06:35,003
that's when you learn to let go.
163
00:06:35,037 --> 00:06:38,744
I desperately crave a
genuine romantic connection.
164
00:06:38,778 --> 00:06:41,449
Like, I need to fall in
love. That's just who I am.
165
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:44,723
- Well, maybe you shouldn't hook up with your fans anymore.
- Okay.
166
00:06:44,756 --> 00:06:46,235
Maybe you shouldn't...
We don't need this
167
00:06:46,259 --> 00:06:47,805
- for the documentary, okay?
- Yeah, we do.
168
00:06:47,829 --> 00:06:50,768
Don't tell me what to
do with my documentary.
169
00:06:50,802 --> 00:06:52,471
Uh, I don't want
this footage, Emma.
170
00:06:52,504 --> 00:06:53,617
MIKE: You don't know
what you're gonna use.
171
00:06:53,641 --> 00:06:54,543
DAVE: Get different stuff.
172
00:06:54,576 --> 00:06:56,613
? ?
173
00:07:08,532 --> 00:07:11,565
- EMMA: I can't listen to this another time.
- MIKE: It's exhilarating.
174
00:07:11,590 --> 00:07:12,874
But what I'm saying is when
you're plummeting towards
175
00:07:12,898 --> 00:07:14,387
-the earth at terminal
velocity, -EMMA: God, I get it.
176
00:07:14,411 --> 00:07:16,448
The earth feels like it's
gonna swallow you whole.
177
00:07:16,473 --> 00:07:18,532
It's so scary,
dude, but you live.
178
00:07:18,557 --> 00:07:20,695
I love this story. He's
still telling the story, huh?
179
00:07:20,728 --> 00:07:22,073
- MIKE: Yeah.
- Hey, LD, what's them islands
180
00:07:22,097 --> 00:07:23,668
we going to on this tour?
181
00:07:23,701 --> 00:07:25,538
Uh, I don't know the
specifics, but...
182
00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:27,942
(whoops) We going to
the Specifics, y'all.
183
00:07:27,976 --> 00:07:29,610
- Specifics.
- Huh. Um...
184
00:07:29,635 --> 00:07:31,550
- Are you performing tonight?
- Oh, no.
185
00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:33,587
Tonight's all about my
sweet baby G right here.
186
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,734
- MIKE: Gata's night, baby.
- Big dog's night. - Hey, Lubbock, Texas
187
00:07:35,758 --> 00:07:37,605
- ain't ready for a nigga like me.
- DAVE: They're not.
188
00:07:37,629 --> 00:07:39,241
They never were. They never
were a day. They never will be.
189
00:07:39,265 --> 00:07:40,944
- That's what I do.
- Uh, that's what you've been doing.
190
00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:43,808
- Big G! - Gata.
- (whooping)
191
00:07:43,841 --> 00:07:45,611
Aw, LD, do one
song with me, bro.
192
00:07:45,645 --> 00:07:47,615
No, thank you.
193
00:07:47,649 --> 00:07:49,853
It's my one night off.
Come on. I-I'm trying
194
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,566
- to blend into the background, be a normal guy.
- Yeah.
195
00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:52,835
It's hard to meet your
wife when you're onstage
196
00:07:52,859 --> 00:07:54,629
- being the star.
- Well, some people say
197
00:07:54,663 --> 00:07:56,141
- that's the easiest way to meet your wife.
- Aw.
198
00:07:56,165 --> 00:07:58,045
You're with him every day?
How do you resist him?
199
00:07:58,069 --> 00:08:00,775
- Are you serious?
- DAVE: Look,
200
00:08:00,808 --> 00:08:02,253
I just want to know
if everyone's all in
201
00:08:02,277 --> 00:08:03,857
to have the best night
they can possibly have.
202
00:08:03,881 --> 00:08:05,159
'Cause I need that
type of comradery...
203
00:08:05,183 --> 00:08:08,758
(overlapping shouting, cheering)
204
00:08:08,791 --> 00:08:10,928
? Too many women, I
got too many women ?
205
00:08:10,962 --> 00:08:13,834
? Man, my biggest problem,
I got too many women ?
206
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,740
? Damn, my head's spinning,
I got too many women ?
207
00:08:16,774 --> 00:08:18,778
? Am I living in sin and
I see too many women ?
208
00:08:18,811 --> 00:08:22,251
? I'm married to the money,
but I'm in love with my women ?
209
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:25,057
? Dark-skinned, light-skinned,
Puerto Rican, Asian ?
210
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,595
? Sorry, Mama, but
your son is crazy ?
211
00:08:27,629 --> 00:08:30,000
? I'm-a get it together
if they pay me. ?
212
00:08:30,033 --> 00:08:32,806
- Yeah.
- (cheering, whooping)
213
00:08:32,839 --> 00:08:34,609
Yeah!
214
00:08:34,643 --> 00:08:36,756
- (indistinct shout)
- CROWD (chanting): Dicky! Dicky!
215
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:40,755
- Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! Dicky!
- Oh, no, no, no. Gata.
216
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:43,894
- Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! Dicky!
- Gata. Gata.
217
00:08:43,928 --> 00:08:45,550
- Dicky. Dicky.
- Thanks.
218
00:08:45,575 --> 00:08:47,346
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
219
00:08:47,371 --> 00:08:49,782
I appreciate the love y'all
got for my boy Dicky, man.
220
00:08:49,806 --> 00:08:51,963
I've been trying to get him
out here on this stage tonight,
221
00:08:51,987 --> 00:08:54,292
but he on some Carmen
Sandiego type shit.
222
00:08:54,415 --> 00:08:56,653
Let's see if we can get
him on stage right now!
223
00:08:56,678 --> 00:08:58,682
(cheering, whooping)
224
00:08:58,707 --> 00:09:01,379
GATA: (chanting): LD! LD! LD!
225
00:09:01,409 --> 00:09:03,809
ALL: LD! LD!
226
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:07,909
- LD! LD! LD! LD!
- (DJ airhorn blares)
227
00:09:07,942 --> 00:09:11,750
(cheering, whooping)
228
00:09:15,009 --> 00:09:17,681
? I'm drunk, I'm drunk ?
229
00:09:17,706 --> 00:09:21,947
? I'm really, really drunk ?
230
00:09:22,010 --> 00:09:24,281
? I'm drunk ?
231
00:09:24,306 --> 00:09:27,312
? I'm really, really wasted ?
232
00:09:27,337 --> 00:09:30,143
? Man, I'm so fucked-up ?
233
00:09:30,168 --> 00:09:32,674
? I might suck a man's dick,
no, I'm playing, ha-ha. ?
234
00:09:41,977 --> 00:09:45,350
What's your deal right now?
Why are you so lethargic?
235
00:09:45,383 --> 00:09:47,822
(exhales)
236
00:09:48,687 --> 00:09:50,393
You just got sucked.
237
00:09:50,427 --> 00:09:52,999
Sloppy toppy, bro.
238
00:09:53,032 --> 00:09:54,636
Who sucked you?
239
00:09:54,669 --> 00:09:56,339
- I had to, man. You...
- Where?
240
00:09:56,372 --> 00:09:57,976
(scoffs)
241
00:09:58,009 --> 00:10:00,418
What does this...
Whatever, I don't care.
242
00:10:00,443 --> 00:10:02,660
Let's have fun tonight.
Do you want a drink?
243
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,958
Honestly, bro, I'm
exhausted as fuck, bro.
244
00:10:05,992 --> 00:10:07,838
- I'm about to go lay down, dawg.
- You're leaving?
245
00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:09,833
- Yeah, man. Yeah.
- What about my night off?
246
00:10:09,866 --> 00:10:11,937
What about the plan
that-that you committed to?
247
00:10:11,970 --> 00:10:13,874
- Man, I'm going, gone.
- Gata.
248
00:10:13,908 --> 00:10:15,878
- You never honor the plan, man.
- Hey, text me
249
00:10:15,912 --> 00:10:17,080
when you get to the hotel.
250
00:10:17,114 --> 00:10:19,151
? ?
251
00:10:23,246 --> 00:10:25,685
- Hi.
- Hi.
252
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:27,669
- Is this a good time?
- Yeah.
253
00:10:27,702 --> 00:10:30,040
Great, 'cause I made
something for you.
254
00:10:30,073 --> 00:10:31,944
- Oh, okay.
- Um...
255
00:10:32,786 --> 00:10:33,907
Oh, my God.
256
00:10:33,932 --> 00:10:35,234
It's you.
257
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,854
- Oh, that's me?
- Yeah.
258
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,858
- (laughs)
- Oh, wow. It's so heavy.
259
00:10:38,891 --> 00:10:40,695
It's concrete, that's why.
260
00:10:40,728 --> 00:10:41,698
It's, like, sharp, too.
261
00:10:41,723 --> 00:10:43,709
- I'm kind of nervous.
- Don't be nervous.
262
00:10:43,734 --> 00:10:45,046
This is great.
You're doing great.
263
00:10:45,070 --> 00:10:47,174
- Hey. Oh. (laughs)
- Oh.
264
00:10:47,207 --> 00:10:50,013
(laughs) I appreciate
this so much, okay?
265
00:10:50,046 --> 00:10:51,750
I'm such a big fan of yours.
266
00:10:51,783 --> 00:10:53,486
- Thank you.
- Um, I love Penith so much,
267
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:55,299
and I'm really trying to
break into the industry, so...
268
00:10:55,323 --> 00:10:57,094
- Yeah.
- Ah, here I am. (laughs)
269
00:10:57,127 --> 00:10:59,064
Well, let me tell you firsthand,
270
00:10:59,098 --> 00:11:02,037
things are surprisingly possible
in life, okay? Go for it.
271
00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:03,707
Wow. (laughs)
272
00:11:03,741 --> 00:11:05,043
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
273
00:11:05,076 --> 00:11:06,801
- Sure.
- Lil Dicky, I love you.
274
00:11:06,826 --> 00:11:08,563
I love you, too,
okay? Be safe.
275
00:11:10,487 --> 00:11:12,024
(weak chuckle)
276
00:11:12,057 --> 00:11:14,094
(indistinct conversation)
277
00:11:19,505 --> 00:11:22,010
- I never knew that.
- Yeah. All right.
278
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,224
Fuck. Oh, shit.
279
00:11:32,304 --> 00:11:34,776
WOMAN: You doing all right?
280
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,172
What?
281
00:11:36,205 --> 00:11:39,345
Are you doing all right?
282
00:11:40,347 --> 00:11:43,186
Oh. Yeah.
283
00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:47,227
Just a little statutory, uh,
issue I'm taking care of.
284
00:11:47,261 --> 00:11:49,933
Yeah, I'm just cleaning
up somebody else's mess.
285
00:11:49,966 --> 00:11:51,302
- Hi.
- Hi. (chuckles)
286
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,039
- How you doing?
- I'm good. I'm sor...
287
00:11:53,072 --> 00:11:54,909
I don't-I don't know you.
288
00:11:54,943 --> 00:11:56,780
Well, how could you?
We're just now meeting.
289
00:11:56,813 --> 00:11:58,526
No, I know, but I know you're,
like, a singer or something,
290
00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:00,263
- just here with my friends, but I just...
- Oh.
291
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:01,890
I've never heard of you.
292
00:12:02,761 --> 00:12:04,562
Honestly, I prefer that.
293
00:12:04,596 --> 00:12:05,915
Like, great. It's good
294
00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:08,344
that you have a clean
slate on my personality.
295
00:12:08,369 --> 00:12:10,808
- Oh.
- Yeah, I'm a-I'm a rapper, actually, not a singer.
296
00:12:10,841 --> 00:12:13,246
I do sing, song-write, all that.
297
00:12:13,279 --> 00:12:15,918
Oh, you did that song
about being drunk.
298
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,354
What was... what was it called?
299
00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:18,906
- It was...
- "I'm Drunk."
300
00:12:18,931 --> 00:12:21,337
Oh, yeah, well, I'm on my way.
301
00:12:21,362 --> 00:12:23,266
You... pig.
302
00:12:23,299 --> 00:12:24,569
(laughs)
303
00:12:24,602 --> 00:12:27,542
I don't know. So,
what's your deal...
304
00:12:27,575 --> 00:12:29,258
You just go to live music venues
305
00:12:29,283 --> 00:12:32,125
without even knowing who the
person is and you have fun?
306
00:12:32,150 --> 00:12:35,256
Wednesdays are like my
Fridays. I'm a nurse, so...
307
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:37,260
- Ah. A nurse?
- Yeah. Had to
308
00:12:37,294 --> 00:12:38,957
come blow off some
steam, you know?
309
00:12:38,982 --> 00:12:41,002
I appreciate
everything you do, uh,
310
00:12:41,035 --> 00:12:43,540
behind the scenes
for all the sick.
311
00:12:43,574 --> 00:12:45,802
- Thank-thank you.
- Yeah. But okay,
312
00:12:45,827 --> 00:12:47,964
I can't go any further
without knowing your name,
313
00:12:48,116 --> 00:12:49,819
- so...
- Oh, it's Campbell.
314
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:50,873
Campbell?
315
00:12:50,898 --> 00:12:52,257
Yeah, like the soup.
316
00:12:52,290 --> 00:12:54,094
That's a perfect name.
317
00:12:54,119 --> 00:12:55,589
- Thanks?
- Campbell,
318
00:12:55,614 --> 00:12:57,885
can I ask you a relatively
hard-hitting question?
319
00:12:57,935 --> 00:12:59,171
Yeah.
320
00:12:59,204 --> 00:13:00,507
What's your availability
321
00:13:00,541 --> 00:13:02,411
as far as being
hit on right now?
322
00:13:02,444 --> 00:13:04,736
(chuckles) Uh...
323
00:13:04,761 --> 00:13:07,130
Like, would you say you're
open-minded, or not at all?
324
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,124
Uh...
325
00:13:09,158 --> 00:13:12,397
Yeah, I think I, uh... I'm...
326
00:13:12,431 --> 00:13:14,569
I'm definitely open to it.
327
00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:17,694
This is fun.
328
00:13:17,742 --> 00:13:20,046
ELZ: People are
actually crazy.
329
00:13:20,071 --> 00:13:22,176
They were literally pouring
tequila in their eyes.
330
00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:26,386
Like, why? I wish I had, like,
40 cameras. I keep missing shit.
331
00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:28,864
Just ask them to redo it.
332
00:13:28,897 --> 00:13:31,235
I can't do that for
my doc. It's not real.
333
00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:34,976
Real? None of this is
real, Emma. Are you crazy?
334
00:13:35,009 --> 00:13:36,989
- What...
- We're on tour right now. Tour's not real.
335
00:13:37,013 --> 00:13:39,340
When we come to town, it's like
their version of the Super Bowl.
336
00:13:39,364 --> 00:13:42,102
Okay, Mr. Big Shot
Who's Been On Tour.
337
00:13:42,127 --> 00:13:44,063
Do you not understand
that white people act out
338
00:13:44,088 --> 00:13:45,323
when they see a camera?
339
00:13:45,397 --> 00:13:48,136
- What?
- Trust me. Come on.
340
00:13:49,303 --> 00:13:52,010
- EMMA: Wait...
- White boy summer!
341
00:13:52,044 --> 00:13:54,381
- White boy summer!
- White boy summer!
342
00:13:54,415 --> 00:13:56,586
(overlapping shouting)
343
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:58,465
Then I'm gonna continue
to smoke this joint, then.
344
00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:00,260
- All right.
- Oh, hi, man.
345
00:14:00,293 --> 00:14:02,197
MAN: LD!
346
00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:03,967
Thank you.
347
00:14:04,001 --> 00:14:05,437
Does that get annoying?
348
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,675
It's just praise. It's...
All it is is praise.
349
00:14:07,708 --> 00:14:10,513
- Okay.
- But it's the life I chose.
350
00:14:10,548 --> 00:14:12,484
- Yeah.
- I always wanted to be ubiquitous.
351
00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:17,263
Well, uh... good luck,
and you have a new fan,
352
00:14:17,288 --> 00:14:19,306
and I really hope
that you make it.
353
00:14:19,331 --> 00:14:21,368
- Get this out of here.
- (laughs)
354
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,672
You're saying goodbye?
355
00:14:22,705 --> 00:14:24,274
- Well...
- You're not about to leave.
356
00:14:24,308 --> 00:14:26,312
- Uh...
- You can't be. You're not gonna
357
00:14:26,345 --> 00:14:27,925
let something like
this totally evaporate.
358
00:14:27,949 --> 00:14:29,652
No. No, no, no. I'm engaged.
359
00:14:29,686 --> 00:14:31,422
- Oh, of course you are.
- No, no, no.
360
00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:33,192
No, no, no! No, no,
like... (laughs)
361
00:14:33,226 --> 00:14:36,365
Like, I'm engaged
in the conversation.
362
00:14:36,398 --> 00:14:37,660
- Oh.
- Yeah.
363
00:14:37,685 --> 00:14:39,548
So, a bunch of us are gonna
go to my friend Connor's.
364
00:14:39,572 --> 00:14:41,142
He's having a
little get-together.
365
00:14:41,175 --> 00:14:42,645
- Oh.
- You want to come?
366
00:14:42,678 --> 00:14:45,016
'Cause I like
hanging out with you.
367
00:14:45,049 --> 00:14:47,354
I like hanging out
with you so much.
368
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,160
- All right.
- I do have a tour bus
369
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:52,565
- parked half a block away. It's so charming.
- Oh, no.
370
00:14:52,598 --> 00:14:55,938
I'm-I'm not, like, a groupie.
I'm just a regular girl.
371
00:14:55,971 --> 00:14:59,044
Of course you are.
I respect that.
372
00:14:59,077 --> 00:15:00,868
- We'll go to... Connor's?
- Yeah, Connor.
373
00:15:00,893 --> 00:15:02,360
Okay. I have to grab
something off that bus.
374
00:15:02,384 --> 00:15:03,850
- Will you stay here?
- Yeah.
375
00:15:03,875 --> 00:15:05,754
Okay, because, in my
opinion, I feel as though
376
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:08,520
this is what life is all
about... Moments like this.
377
00:15:09,614 --> 00:15:12,025
-(laughs) -We'll figure
something out later, but yeah.
378
00:15:12,050 --> 00:15:13,963
- We'll figure it out. We'll work on it.
- Okay. All right.
379
00:15:13,987 --> 00:15:16,713
SCRO-GUY: You're getting
ready to have a blast,
380
00:15:16,746 --> 00:15:20,427
but you're not sure about
someone's sexual past.
381
00:15:20,452 --> 00:15:24,361
Part of the skin of your
genital area has a cover,
382
00:15:24,394 --> 00:15:27,334
but most is still
exposed to your lover.
383
00:15:27,367 --> 00:15:29,271
Not anymore.
384
00:15:30,708 --> 00:15:33,012
Now there's Scroguard.
385
00:15:33,045 --> 00:15:37,471
The powerful new product that
you can wear with any condom.
386
00:15:37,496 --> 00:15:40,293
The secret is the
high-quality premium latex
387
00:15:40,326 --> 00:15:43,000
that is thick enough to
cover your genital area
388
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,048
- but thin enough to feel like a second skin.
- (mutters)
389
00:15:46,073 --> 00:15:47,725
Just fasten any two buttons
390
00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,612
securely into place,
and when you're ready...
391
00:15:49,646 --> 00:15:52,117
Hey, Dave... Oh, shit!
392
00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:55,190
- Oh!
- Geez. (stammers) Uh... No shitting on the bus!
393
00:15:55,223 --> 00:15:56,612
No, I'm not-I'm not shitting!
394
00:15:56,637 --> 00:15:58,441
I'm just fixing my pants.
395
00:15:58,597 --> 00:16:01,468
I changed my underwear
'cause I met a girl
396
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,261
and I was talking to
her, and I-I, like,
397
00:16:03,286 --> 00:16:05,290
soaked my first
underwear with pre-cum.
398
00:16:05,443 --> 00:16:08,049
- Okay.
- I-I met a girl.
399
00:16:08,082 --> 00:16:10,420
Uh, congratulations,
man. I'm happy for you.
400
00:16:10,453 --> 00:16:12,621
- Wish me luck.
- You deserve love, Dave.
401
00:16:15,947 --> 00:16:19,239
- ? Worry about tomorrow... ?
- ? Don't drink and drive ?
402
00:16:19,264 --> 00:16:21,874
? Give me that pizza,
dawg, give me that pizza ?
403
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:23,246
? You know, I gotta eat ya ?
404
00:16:23,279 --> 00:16:25,557
? Uber says my driver's
name is Gangi ?
405
00:16:25,582 --> 00:16:27,656
? And he said he's
hard of hearing ?
406
00:16:27,681 --> 00:16:29,267
- ? Cool, I don't care... ?
- CAMPBELL: Sorry.
407
00:16:29,291 --> 00:16:31,438
- No, this is honestly my fault, uh...
- Anyway, anyway, okay.
408
00:16:31,462 --> 00:16:33,634
-It was like 3:00 a. m.,
and we're all, like -Yeah.
409
00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:35,614
- Sure.
- Drunk as piss, and all of a sudden, we hear,
410
00:16:35,638 --> 00:16:37,618
like a "bang, bang, bang." Like,
Jurassic Park or something.
411
00:16:37,642 --> 00:16:39,474
- It was like...
- Oh, my God. What was it... like, a rapist?
412
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:40,746
No, no. It was
actually my goat.
413
00:16:40,771 --> 00:16:42,748
My goat got out of its pen. It
was, like, ramming its horns
414
00:16:42,772 --> 00:16:45,365
- against the glass. Ramming...
- Wait, hold it. You have a goat?
415
00:16:45,390 --> 00:16:46,769
- Like, you're a goat owner?
- Mm-hmm.
416
00:16:46,793 --> 00:16:48,362
Yeah, I got a bunch of goats.
417
00:16:48,396 --> 00:16:50,499
You're, like, out of a fable.
418
00:16:50,524 --> 00:16:52,705
Hey, you're the fucking
GOAT, LD. Come on.
419
00:16:52,738 --> 00:16:55,510
- Hey, y'all, shut the fuck up!
- Thank you, bro.
420
00:16:55,544 --> 00:16:57,380
Sorry. Don't even
look at that.
421
00:16:57,414 --> 00:16:59,384
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- He's fine. Oh.
422
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:01,155
- Get in here.
- (laughs)
423
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,792
Wow, you just broke
the touch barrier.
424
00:17:02,825 --> 00:17:04,215
- (laughing)
- So nonchalantly,
425
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,389
you're just gonna break it
like that, and not even... Wow.
426
00:17:06,413 --> 00:17:09,058
- I mean, someone had to.
- I'm totally on board with it, FYI.
427
00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:11,508
- Um...
- Oh, my God.
428
00:17:14,314 --> 00:17:15,851
I have to pee.
429
00:17:16,029 --> 00:17:18,267
Yeah. I understand that.
430
00:17:18,292 --> 00:17:20,402
I've had to pee in the past, and
you never know when it's coming.
431
00:17:20,426 --> 00:17:22,574
- Thank you. All right.
- Yeah. I'm right there with you.
432
00:17:22,598 --> 00:17:23,660
- Get all the piss out.
- All right.
433
00:17:23,684 --> 00:17:25,198
- I'll be right here. I'm great.
- Okay.
434
00:17:25,222 --> 00:17:26,425
I'm in heaven.
435
00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:28,153
(sighs)
436
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,152
(indistinct chatter)
437
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:31,795
(passes gas)
438
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:33,620
(sighs)
439
00:17:33,654 --> 00:17:36,492
What's up, man?
440
00:17:36,525 --> 00:17:39,261
Hey. You guys hanging?
441
00:17:39,286 --> 00:17:40,738
- CONNOR: How you doing?
- Good.
442
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,540
- (sighs)
- MATTY: Hey, man, so...
443
00:17:43,573 --> 00:17:45,844
(muttering)
444
00:17:45,878 --> 00:17:47,682
What?
445
00:17:49,451 --> 00:17:51,422
You like Ram?
446
00:17:51,455 --> 00:17:54,294
R-Ram? Uh, do I like what?
447
00:17:54,328 --> 00:17:56,231
- Uh...
- What do you mean? Like the...
448
00:17:56,265 --> 00:17:58,502
- Like the processing power?
- CONNOR: It's...
449
00:17:58,537 --> 00:17:59,848
the L. A. Rams. Like,
Los Angeles Rams.
450
00:17:59,872 --> 00:18:02,344
- Like, uh, football team.
- Oh, shit.
451
00:18:02,377 --> 00:18:04,481
Is he okay, or is he on,
like, Oxys or something?
452
00:18:04,514 --> 00:18:07,153
- CONNOR: No, no. I mean...
- Is this Appalachia that we're in?
453
00:18:07,178 --> 00:18:09,414
'Cause I know all about the
opioid crisis that you probably
454
00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:10,440
have to deal with
at every moment.
455
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,573
I've got molly,
if you want some.
456
00:18:12,598 --> 00:18:15,704
Oh. No, thanks.
457
00:18:15,738 --> 00:18:18,644
It's, like, dark purple.
458
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:20,488
I'm okay.
459
00:18:20,513 --> 00:18:22,728
I don't even understand the
color spectrum of molly, but...
460
00:18:22,752 --> 00:18:25,858
- What's your name? We haven't met.
- Grace.
461
00:18:25,891 --> 00:18:30,181
- You... Race?
- Hey, are you hiring, by the way, LD?
462
00:18:30,206 --> 00:18:33,506
- No.
- Um, I majored in-in golf course management.
463
00:18:33,540 --> 00:18:35,160
- Uh-huh.
- Um, but there's a lot
464
00:18:35,185 --> 00:18:37,698
- of crossover between the two.
- Yeah, I think
465
00:18:37,723 --> 00:18:39,894
you're better off on the
greens there, 'cause, like,
466
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:43,292
- we're just so fully staffed.
- No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
467
00:18:43,325 --> 00:18:44,662
Yeah.
468
00:18:45,486 --> 00:18:46,619
Um, normally,
469
00:18:46,672 --> 00:18:48,746
like, shit's like way more
popping, you know? Like...
470
00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:50,249
- No.
- It's pretty low-key, 'cause it's Wednesday night
471
00:18:50,273 --> 00:18:52,377
- and shit, and, like...
- All good. All G.
472
00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:53,923
But, yo, like, normally,
we're playing, like,
473
00:18:53,947 --> 00:18:56,653
Mancala or, like,
Cards Against Humanity,
474
00:18:56,686 --> 00:18:58,557
- or, like, fucking...
- Sure.
475
00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:00,627
- If you came back, like, on a...
- Yeah.
476
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:03,232
No, don't... No presh, man.
I'm, like, just happy to be...
477
00:19:03,265 --> 00:19:05,838
I'm honestly here
'cause of Campbell.
478
00:19:05,871 --> 00:19:07,641
- Bro.
- Yeah.
479
00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:10,714
I heard her pussy's
a straight-up V.
480
00:19:10,748 --> 00:19:14,789
I... Yeah, I believe you. Um...
481
00:19:14,822 --> 00:19:17,427
Hey, you know what? Fuck
it. Hey, Hey, Travis!
482
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,799
Hey, fire that shit up! We're
playing Hot Seat, bitch.
483
00:19:19,832 --> 00:19:21,536
- (people whooping)
- What are we doing?
484
00:19:21,569 --> 00:19:22,605
(laughs)
485
00:19:27,748 --> 00:19:29,295
DAVE: It's a prank
phone call-based game?
486
00:19:29,319 --> 00:19:30,563
- Mm-hmm. Shh.
- How often do you play it?
487
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:31,823
All right. All right.
488
00:19:31,856 --> 00:19:33,392
(line ringing)
489
00:19:33,426 --> 00:19:36,533
? ?
490
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:37,980
- MAN: Hello?
- Hey.
491
00:19:38,005 --> 00:19:40,607
I'm... I'm with your brother.
492
00:19:40,641 --> 00:19:43,613
Wait, Tim's with you? He okay?
493
00:19:43,647 --> 00:19:45,984
- He's OD'ing.
- Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
494
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,822
Did you call 911?
495
00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:50,460
Yeah, but they can't...
496
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:53,567
- CAMPBELL: Come on.
- Revive... Aah!
497
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,446
- (laughing cheering)
- It's the hot seat! Fuck!
498
00:19:55,470 --> 00:19:56,749
Okay, I'm gonna
get another drink.
499
00:19:56,773 --> 00:19:58,477
- Where you going?
- (indistinct chatter)
500
00:19:58,502 --> 00:20:00,757
- I'm getting another drink.
- DAVE: Hurry back. - Hey, LD.
501
00:20:00,781 --> 00:20:02,885
Wait. You probably got all sorts
502
00:20:02,918 --> 00:20:04,354
of celebs and shit
in your phone.
503
00:20:04,387 --> 00:20:06,024
- (laughs)
- Wait. I...
504
00:20:06,058 --> 00:20:07,026
Come on.
505
00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:09,699
Alfonso Ribeiro?
506
00:20:09,732 --> 00:20:11,502
That a pasta?
507
00:20:11,536 --> 00:20:13,716
Carlton? That doesn't mean
anything when I say it? Carlton?
508
00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:15,720
All right, all right, all right.
LD, come on. It's your turn.
509
00:20:15,744 --> 00:20:17,715
- Oh, no. I'm...
- Come on. Get on that hot seat,
510
00:20:17,748 --> 00:20:18,717
- for old times' sake.
- You...
511
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:20,019
Let me watch how you...
512
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,397
- CONNOR: Fuck you.
- What are you doing?
513
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:22,892
- Wow. What?
- (laughs) Okay.
514
00:20:22,925 --> 00:20:25,731
So you're really not
gonna kiss me right now?
515
00:20:25,764 --> 00:20:29,839
Why-why would you think
that? It's crazy of you.
516
00:20:29,872 --> 00:20:31,317
- (Grace mutters) - Campbell,
would you come out here?
517
00:20:31,341 --> 00:20:33,713
Your friends are
getting a little dicey.
518
00:20:33,747 --> 00:20:35,516
- Oh.
- Need you back here.
519
00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:37,520
Fuck. She blew it.
520
00:20:37,555 --> 00:20:40,727
- What do you mean?
- I mean, fucking passed out.
521
00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,832
- No, she's not.
- CONNOR: Yeah.
522
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,808
GRACE: (laughs) I'm drunk.
523
00:20:47,842 --> 00:20:50,547
- She's drunk.
- MATTY: Guns up!
524
00:20:50,581 --> 00:20:54,365
- GRACE: Guns up!
- MATTY: Guns up, motherfuckers!
525
00:20:54,390 --> 00:20:57,295
Aw, that sucks. Her mission
was to fuck you tonight.
526
00:20:58,262 --> 00:21:00,601
Wait, what do you mean, you
said it was her mission?
527
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,506
- Like, going into the night?
- Yeah.
528
00:21:03,540 --> 00:21:05,644
Then why did she tell
me when I met her
529
00:21:05,677 --> 00:21:07,480
that she had never
heard of Lil Dicky?
530
00:21:07,514 --> 00:21:09,652
- (laughing)
- Oh, is that what she told you?
531
00:21:10,044 --> 00:21:11,380
She probably just said that
532
00:21:11,405 --> 00:21:12,834
'cause she's watched
all your interviews.
533
00:21:12,858 --> 00:21:14,529
She knows that's what
you want to hear.
534
00:21:14,562 --> 00:21:18,435
She's a die-hard. I mean,
she knew what to tell you.
535
00:21:18,469 --> 00:21:21,441
Okay. I'm-I'm gonna leave.
536
00:21:21,475 --> 00:21:23,947
No, no, no, no, no. No,
come on, man. No, no, no.
537
00:21:23,980 --> 00:21:25,459
- Yeah.
- LD, no. There's a bunch of people still coming.
538
00:21:25,483 --> 00:21:27,555
This shit's just
getting started.
539
00:21:27,588 --> 00:21:29,424
- Come on.
- It's so late. We leave tomorrow.
540
00:21:29,457 --> 00:21:32,096
This is literally the best
night of my entire life, man.
541
00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:35,336
That's... Really?
542
00:21:36,138 --> 00:21:37,608
Yes.
543
00:21:38,944 --> 00:21:41,515
Uh, I'm sorry.
544
00:21:41,549 --> 00:21:43,587
Or congrat...
545
00:21:43,620 --> 00:21:44,922
I don't know what
to say to that.
546
00:21:44,956 --> 00:21:46,926
Tell us what it's like.
547
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,397
Just tell us what it's
really, really like.
548
00:21:49,431 --> 00:21:52,070
- It's not like anything, man.
- MATTY: Yeah, man,
549
00:21:52,103 --> 00:21:54,976
do the girls just
fap for you, nonstop?
550
00:21:55,842 --> 00:21:57,187
Fap?
551
00:22:01,045 --> 00:22:04,493
- All right, sit down.
- (laughs) Okay. All right.
552
00:22:04,518 --> 00:22:05,864
- You guys want to know what it's like.
- Oh, fuck, yeah.
553
00:22:05,888 --> 00:22:07,528
I'll tell you what
it's really like. Yeah.
554
00:22:07,601 --> 00:22:09,705
Here's what it's like.
I go around America
555
00:22:09,739 --> 00:22:11,943
and I meet people like
you, and every single time,
556
00:22:11,976 --> 00:22:13,203
they look at me exactly the way
557
00:22:13,227 --> 00:22:14,901
you guys are staring
at me right now.
558
00:22:14,926 --> 00:22:17,020
It's weird. And people
have preconceived notions
559
00:22:17,053 --> 00:22:19,592
about the way that I behave,
about the way that I fuck.
560
00:22:19,625 --> 00:22:21,596
(sputters) I feel that.
561
00:22:21,629 --> 00:22:23,633
Fucking ain't easy, broham.
562
00:22:23,667 --> 00:22:27,006
Not easy at all. I've had so
many insane sexual encounters.
563
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,825
And truthfully, the thing
that I want the most
564
00:22:29,850 --> 00:22:33,691
is incredibly simple, but I
could never really ask for it.
565
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:35,857
What?
566
00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:40,245
So, my dick is shaped
like a manatee.
567
00:22:40,270 --> 00:22:41,845
In the sense that, like,
you know how, like,
568
00:22:41,869 --> 00:22:43,773
the manatee is...
have, like, a bend
569
00:22:43,807 --> 00:22:46,144
and, like, a... So
my dick is bent.
570
00:22:46,178 --> 00:22:48,717
The thing that satisfies
me most in life
571
00:22:48,750 --> 00:22:53,192
is when that bend simply
gets straightened.
572
00:22:53,225 --> 00:22:55,664
There's no STD
threat whatsoever.
573
00:22:55,697 --> 00:22:58,135
It's truly my heaven on Earth,
but I could never ask for that
574
00:22:58,168 --> 00:22:59,739
because it's so weird,
575
00:22:59,772 --> 00:23:01,676
and the women would
tell all their friends.
576
00:23:01,709 --> 00:23:04,548
But that wouldn't
happen with my soulmate.
577
00:23:04,582 --> 00:23:06,151
I'm looking for love.
578
00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:08,188
I'm looking for my wife, okay?
579
00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:10,560
- Hey, let us see your dick.
- (laughs)
580
00:23:10,594 --> 00:23:12,631
(scattered laughter)
581
00:23:12,665 --> 00:23:16,639
(chuckles) No. But you
asked me what it's like.
582
00:23:16,673 --> 00:23:17,784
It's not even that interesting.
583
00:23:17,808 --> 00:23:18,743
- It's actually...
- Come on, Dicky.
584
00:23:18,777 --> 00:23:20,079
(overlapping chatter)
585
00:23:20,112 --> 00:23:22,083
- Come on.
- Uh... I love it.
586
00:23:22,116 --> 00:23:23,553
CONNOR: Hey, come
on, Lil Dicky.
587
00:23:23,586 --> 00:23:24,631
MATTY: Come on,
Lil Dicky, come on.
588
00:23:24,655 --> 00:23:25,691
CONNOR: Let me see it.
589
00:23:25,724 --> 00:23:26,659
You always talk all this shit
590
00:23:26,693 --> 00:23:27,928
about your dick,
591
00:23:27,962 --> 00:23:29,765
but you never show
it to anybody.
592
00:23:29,799 --> 00:23:31,512
- Come on, Lil Dicky. - Come on!
- (overlapping chatter)
593
00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:34,174
- Show us your fucking dick!
- Come on! - Come on!
594
00:23:34,207 --> 00:23:36,044
- (Dave groans)
- Show us your fucking dick!
595
00:23:36,078 --> 00:23:38,683
(grunts)
596
00:23:38,717 --> 00:23:40,821
What the fuck is that?
597
00:23:40,854 --> 00:23:43,225
(laughs) A diaper?
598
00:23:43,258 --> 00:23:46,031
No, uh... It's, uh,
599
00:23:46,064 --> 00:23:48,068
it's called the
Scroguard. It's, uh...
600
00:23:48,102 --> 00:23:50,807
Look it up on YouTube. It's the
funniest thing you'll ever see.
601
00:23:50,841 --> 00:23:53,580
It's, like, STD prevention,
602
00:23:53,613 --> 00:23:55,751
but, like, the comedy version.
603
00:23:57,724 --> 00:24:00,226
-Show us your dick, Lil
Dicky! (Dave whimpers)
604
00:24:00,259 --> 00:24:02,497
(laughing)
605
00:24:04,267 --> 00:24:06,673
("So Damn Lucky" by
Taylor McCall playing)
606
00:24:06,706 --> 00:24:08,777
(sighs)
607
00:24:10,781 --> 00:24:12,751
(truck doors close)
608
00:24:12,776 --> 00:24:15,218
(indistinct chatter)
609
00:24:15,243 --> 00:24:17,093
- (bottles rattle)
- Oh...
610
00:24:17,126 --> 00:24:18,963
MAN: Connor?
611
00:24:19,965 --> 00:24:21,234
Who's that?
612
00:24:23,172 --> 00:24:25,911
Yo, they're all in there.
They're still chillin'.
613
00:24:26,879 --> 00:24:29,084
- ? Sober up ?
- Was that Lil Dicky?
614
00:24:29,117 --> 00:24:32,223
- Come back, Dicky!
- ? Settle down ?
615
00:24:32,256 --> 00:24:34,227
? You should be... ?
616
00:24:34,260 --> 00:24:35,764
MAN: Lil Dicky!
617
00:24:35,797 --> 00:24:38,970
? Gone by now ?
618
00:24:39,003 --> 00:24:41,026
? But you're not ?
619
00:24:41,051 --> 00:24:44,124
? Don't know how I got ?
620
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:46,713
? So damn lucky. ?
621
00:24:54,668 --> 00:24:57,574
? I'm drunk ?
622
00:24:57,608 --> 00:24:59,779
? I'm really, really drunk... ?
623
00:24:59,812 --> 00:25:01,281
(man cackling)
624
00:25:01,314 --> 00:25:02,754
- ? I'm drunk ?
- MAN: Hey, it's him!
625
00:25:02,785 --> 00:25:04,989
Turn around!
626
00:25:05,022 --> 00:25:06,982
- It's him, it's him!
- MAN 2: It's him, it's him!
627
00:25:08,696 --> 00:25:10,734
(tires screech)
628
00:25:11,836 --> 00:25:13,573
(man cackling)
629
00:25:24,060 --> 00:25:26,866
Hey, motherfucker. What the
fuck are you thinking, boy?
630
00:25:26,899 --> 00:25:29,772
Whoa! Hey! Stand your
ground! Stand your ground!
631
00:25:29,805 --> 00:25:32,143
- What?
- I'm standing my ground!
632
00:25:32,176 --> 00:25:35,751
You stand your ground, I'm
standing mine, so no reason!
633
00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:38,823
- That ain't how it works.
- Uh...
634
00:25:38,857 --> 00:25:40,159
Lil Dicky! I'm Lil Dicky!
635
00:25:40,192 --> 00:25:41,304
Please don't, please just...
636
00:25:41,328 --> 00:25:43,098
- Lil Dicky?
- Yeah.
637
00:25:43,132 --> 00:25:44,802
- The rapper?
- Yeah! Yes!
638
00:25:44,835 --> 00:25:48,041
The rapper. That's
me. I'm, uh, I'm here.
639
00:25:48,075 --> 00:25:51,181
- So, I got to use your phone, it's...
- No, you ain't.
640
00:25:51,214 --> 00:25:53,953
Yes, I am. What do you mean
I'm not? Of co... Uh, uh...
641
00:25:53,987 --> 00:25:56,959
Obviously this is... Look
at the situation, man.
642
00:25:56,993 --> 00:25:58,763
Can't you tell by my posture?
643
00:25:58,797 --> 00:26:00,901
Prove it.
644
00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:05,176
(exhales sharply)
Prove it. Uh...
645
00:26:06,746 --> 00:26:07,981
What's that?
646
00:26:08,015 --> 00:26:09,919
Like... Or...
647
00:26:09,952 --> 00:26:13,392
It's... You-you know it's me.
648
00:26:13,425 --> 00:26:16,699
Please, I got to
use your phone, man.
649
00:26:16,732 --> 00:26:19,003
Aren't you a "gayman?"
650
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:20,941
You...
651
00:26:20,974 --> 00:26:22,678
I couldn't hear what you said.
652
00:26:22,711 --> 00:26:25,316
Aren't you a "gayman?"
653
00:26:27,153 --> 00:26:29,725
Like the dinosaur lizard?
654
00:26:29,758 --> 00:26:32,096
Nah, like aren't you a faggot?
655
00:26:32,130 --> 00:26:35,737
Oh. I don't know exactly
how you're using that word,
656
00:26:35,770 --> 00:26:38,242
but I suspect that depending
on how you define it,
657
00:26:38,275 --> 00:26:41,081
that, like...
658
00:26:41,114 --> 00:26:44,354
like, to an extent, yeah, yes.
659
00:26:44,387 --> 00:26:47,426
WOMAN: Tom, what's
going on out there?
660
00:26:47,460 --> 00:26:49,965
I'll be there in a minute, Pat.
661
00:26:49,999 --> 00:26:51,368
(footsteps departing)
662
00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:52,971
Hey!
663
00:26:53,005 --> 00:26:55,075
? ?
664
00:27:05,997 --> 00:27:07,668
(line ringing)
665
00:27:10,139 --> 00:27:11,408
MIKE: (clears throat) Hello?
666
00:27:11,441 --> 00:27:13,836
Mike. Oh, thank
God you picked up.
667
00:27:13,861 --> 00:27:15,631
I need you to come
grab me right now.
668
00:27:15,750 --> 00:27:17,253
- You're in room 207.
- No, no.
669
00:27:17,286 --> 00:27:19,452
- I'm not at the hotel. Uh...
- Where are you?
670
00:27:19,490 --> 00:27:21,137
(whispers): Thank you so much
for everything. I appreciate it.
671
00:27:21,161 --> 00:27:22,345
-Hello? (normal
volume): I don't know
672
00:27:22,369 --> 00:27:23,750
how to explain it
to you, but you just
673
00:27:23,774 --> 00:27:25,477
got to come get me
right now, okay?
674
00:27:25,502 --> 00:27:27,051
Are you all right?
Where are you, man?
675
00:27:27,076 --> 00:27:29,619
I'm fine. I'm
fine. I'm at, uh,
676
00:27:29,644 --> 00:27:33,160
4218 Fannin Boulevard. Okay?
677
00:27:33,185 --> 00:27:35,065
- Yeah, no problem, man. I'll be there soon.
- (scribbling)
678
00:27:35,089 --> 00:27:36,902
- Thank you, Mike. Thank you.
- Just got to get up
679
00:27:36,926 --> 00:27:38,863
and get dressed.
680
00:27:38,897 --> 00:27:41,301
You know, I'm always
losing one sock.
681
00:27:41,334 --> 00:27:43,272
- Wha... Mike?
- Yeah?
682
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,415
Uh, bring a couple
hundred bucks.
683
00:27:48,448 --> 00:27:51,154
You'll see, like, when
the dick's fully blooded,
684
00:27:51,187 --> 00:27:52,559
there's, like, a
little bit of a bend.
685
00:27:52,583 --> 00:27:54,831
My ideal way for this to
happen is if you take that bend
686
00:27:54,856 --> 00:27:56,169
and you just simply
straighten it.
687
00:27:56,193 --> 00:27:58,965
(speaks Spanish)
688
00:27:58,990 --> 00:28:01,449
Uh, the bend, and if
you just take the bend
689
00:28:01,474 --> 00:28:05,057
and you straighten
and then just wait.
690
00:28:05,101 --> 00:28:06,237
(continues speaking Spanish)
691
00:28:06,262 --> 00:28:07,632
No, no, no, no mueva.
692
00:28:08,522 --> 00:28:12,063
Yeah, uh, do you know what
a manatee is? Manatee.
693
00:28:12,096 --> 00:28:13,432
Manatee, the sea. Sea.
694
00:28:13,465 --> 00:28:14,511
(imitates manatee's bellow)
695
00:28:14,535 --> 00:28:16,739
Manatee? (speaks Spanish)
696
00:28:17,975 --> 00:28:20,379
I am an animal. I
am. We're all a...
697
00:28:20,412 --> 00:28:22,183
I am an animal. You know what?
698
00:28:22,216 --> 00:28:23,529
- No...
- We-we don't-we don't even have to...
699
00:28:23,553 --> 00:28:25,562
- We don't have to do it.
- No. No, no, no, no, no.
700
00:28:25,587 --> 00:28:28,228
- (speaking Spanish)
- I'm okay. Okay.
701
00:28:28,262 --> 00:28:29,230
It's totally cool.
702
00:28:29,264 --> 00:28:32,270
Oh, so... Oh.
703
00:28:32,303 --> 00:28:35,242
Yeah. Just s-still.
704
00:28:35,276 --> 00:28:37,480
Uh-huh.
705
00:28:37,513 --> 00:28:40,185
? ?
706
00:28:40,235 --> 00:28:44,785
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