Original subtitles

(muffled radio playing)

Destination please.

[GPS] Destination, Shelby Convention Center,

573 Helburn Street.

Right, okay, it's just

[GPS] Turn left on Moccasin coming up now.

No, this doesn't look like downtown.

I'm a little

[GPS] Turn left on Moccasin coming up now.

Okay, okay.

(clicking)

Okay, okay, this is ridiculous.

(phone ringing)

Hi, yes, I--

[Recording] You have reached Shelby (mumbling)

Convention Center and Hotel.

Unfortunately, we cannot take your call right now.

Oh, you're kidding me.

[Recording] If you'd like to leave a message,

someone would be happy--

No!

New destination.

[GPS] Please enter.

The CN Tower.

[GPS] Confirm destination, the CN Tower.

Yes, that is correct, the CN Tower.

Toronto, Canada, Ontario, correct, yes.

[GPS] One moment please.

Go straight 20 meters than turn right on Bentman Road.

Good, excellent, thank you.

What is this?

Jesus.

Oh, please.

Oh, come on!

Oh no.

No, no.

(slamming)

(whimpering)

(grunting)

(screaming)

Why?

Where is this supposed to be, huh?

Where is this supposed to be?

You lying, stupid bitch!

[GPS] No.

You're the bitch.

(yelling)

(laughing)

And you've been trolled, bitch.

Freak.

(camera snapping)

(eerie music)

(electronic squealing)

(gentle music)

(laughing)

Run scared, little hive minds.

How do you know?

Nice try, dick munch.

(beeping)

Holy shit.

(ticking)

(eerie tone)

(foreboding music)

(banging)

(tapping)

(clicking)

Just stop, okay?

Please, just stop!

(shuffling)

(tapping)

(banging)

(slamming)

(crunching)

This do it for you?

Oh my god, thank you.

(electronic music)

Happy birthday, baby.

Oh my god.

You little prick.

My name is Kirin and I love cock.

Bombs away.

What?

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

Obscene spam?

What the hell?

Who?

(downbeat music)

(phone ringing)

Hey pop, what's up?

[Pop] I'm gonna ask you this once.

Did you screw with your mother's Facebook page?

What?

What are you talking about?

[Pop] She's here at work.

She dragged me out of a meeting

because someone posted her profile on Facebook.

Her what?

[Pop] Her psychiatric profile!

Did you put doctor (mumbling) profile online?

No!

[Pop] Jason, so help me, if you're lying--

No, I, oh my god.

[Pop] Well do you know who it was?

[Female] That's right!

(child laughing)

Now stab him, stab him.

Get him, sweetie, get him.

Yeah, good moves.

Those are some great moves.

[Child] Come on, mom.

Oh my god, a couple of lens flares

and this is going straight to Hollywood.

Henry, portrait of a missing parent.

Come on up here, sweetie.

Not just for the fishing, you know what I mean?

Come on, sweetie, gotta stab him.

Stab him.

(child laughing)

(doorbell ringing)

Oh, hey Henry, how's it going?

Good, good, what's up, Taylor?

You know, not much, the usual.

Crazy shit.

(laughing)

Listen, I'm just in the middle of dinner

so what can I do for you?

Well, you know, this came for you.

Oh, thanks.

You weren't home and I figure the neighborhood's

not really safe to just leave stuff

at the front door anymore, you know?

It's from Charlie so,

what is it?

What's that?

This is footage.

She wants me to make a movie as penance.

For what, bad cartooning?

Funny.

No, she wants me to stay involved

with Walt even if he's not here.

Huh.

Well, speaking of the lonely guy,

I kinda took some liberties and beer?

Ah, Taylor, thanks but I--

Beer. I got work to do.

Man, you suck at this bachelor life.

The wife is away.

I'm not talking about co-eds and stripper poles.

You just need a break.

Couple of brews, a home movie.

Guys night.

Oh, why not?

Come on in.

Yeah, why not, that's the spirit.

That's the spirit.

Oh man, he's growing up, huh?

Yeah.

You ever think about how they shape your life?

Paths taken, choices made.

Like you think you would've stopped making (mumbling)

if you didn't have a kid?

Maybe.

Or maybe you wouldn't have made that god damn cat.

Hey, easy. Come on, let's be honest.

It's a total sellout.

Hey, that cat paid for this house,

it paid for that cottage,

and with any luck, it's gonna pay

for generations of my progeny's orthodontists.

Come on, seriously?

Seriously, just drop it.

[Taylor] Okay, I'm sorry, I just--

[Henry] Nah, just forget it.

Nah, you know what I think about your work.

I mean, you're a genius.

I mean, you're a god damn genius.

Whoa.

We about to move from a G rating to an R?

Hello.

Wait a minute, who's working the camera?

What the hell?

Wait a minute.

[Taylor] Holy shit, look!

That's not real.

No, no, it can't be.

There's no way.

My god, this is some kind of a joke.

This is like a horrible joke.

(phone ringing)

Come on, baby, pick up, pick up, pick up.

Hi, you've reached (mumbling).

Shit.

(phone ringing)

[Operator] 911.

Police.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You're gonna miss the best part.

Surprise!

Now it's time to go tuck in the little angel.

(laughing)

Seriously, dude?

That cat is terminally unforgivable.

Hello.

(screeching)

(typing)

Come on, come on.

Got you.

No way.

(sighing)

(moaning)

(shouting)

Shit, shit!

(typing)

(buzzing)

Yeah!

(banging)

You here?

[Male] That was my sister, asshole.

Nice to see you too.

That was shitty, dude.

She was innocent.

Didn't look that way in the video.

It's not funny.

You ruined her, man!

Whoa, whoa, what are you talking about?

She's had 150,000 hits already.

I made her a star.

And cut.

Awesome.

I just got you confessing to the distribution

of illegally obtained pornographic material

without the consent of the author.

Busted, bitch.

You know I'm not letting you leave here with that, right?

Besides, it's pretty hypocritical,

you bitching about collateral damage.

You effectively undid eight years

of my mother's therapy.

Not that I care but how did you get those files?

Cracked her email, found the doctor,

Trojan-ed him, then ran an e-source and found the breach.

An e-source.

Damn.

When did you start working for the NSA?

How did we wind up here?

I don't know.

You got popular and I got ironic.

You do the best you can with your stereotype.

You know, when you first trolled me,

I kind of thought you were, I don't know,

reaching out or some shit.

Wait, what do you mean?

You trolled me first.

No, I didn't.

Yeah you did, you gay-bombed me.

That was only after you did the psycho stalker thing.

The what?

Jay, no, I swear.

Then who?

(stabbing)

(grunting)

(gasping)

(eerie music)

(splatting)

You've been trolled, bitches.

(laughing)

(clinking)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

(buzzing)

Tracking?

Tracking sent?

What?

Come on.

(buzzing)

(buzzing)

(buzzing)

(whimpering)

This shit is supposed to be anonymous.

[Unknown Voice] Wait.

Before you do that, let's get better acquainted.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

(gasping)

(screaming)

(gasping)

I am (mumbling) beneath the monster's bed.

I am god's sword and when I find you,

we will make new kinds of screaming.

(buzzing)

[Unknown Voice] That's not funny, Adam.

It's impossible.

[Unknown Voice] You can't hide from us.

It's time to bring you into the fold.

No.

[Unknown Voice] Invite you to see the wonders

beyond your imagination.

(menacing music)

(gasping)

What do you want from me?

(buzzing)

(buzzing)

(buzzing)

(dramatic tone)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)