Original subtitles

Previously on Danger 5,,,

l think this is the kind of girl Hitler would be after,

Just remember, have Holly back before 1 0:00,

l finally finished the dishes!

Whatever,

NOOOOOOO!

l'm broken, McKenzie, You need to fix me,

Who the hell are you?

(HELlCOPTER WHlRRS, SlREN BLARES lN DlSTANCE)

ANNOUNCER: When you want news, we give you news,

Metro City News with Jenny Sakamoto,

REPORTER: Metro City is in lockdown tonight,

as former military superteam Danger 5 are hunted by law enforcement

after kidnapping high school senior Holly de Palma,

Freeze! MCPD!

Get down! Get down!

Where's the girl?! Where's the goddamn girl?!

(GUNSHOT)

BRAMMAN: These commie bastards killed Holly's friends, her family

and any chance of her growing up emotionally stable,

But Captain Bramman, Danger 5 are the good guys,

Detective Jackson's one of us, He's a cop!

- Maybe someone set him up, - Yeah,

ALL: No! Not the dream!

- But, Captain, it's Christmas, - Hmm?

We've been working triple shifts, We're super sleepy!

That's why FBl Agent Mengele

is handing out military-grade stamina pills,

l've just got three Christmas wishes for you this year, ladies,

Number one -- sex with my wife, Oh, Lord,

Number two,,, ( CHUCKLES) Danger 5 in the electric chair,

And number three -- that commie piece of shit Jackson

hanging by the cojiones in this goddamn range!

('80S POP MUSlC PLAYS) (HUMS ALONG )

( CHUCKLES) Shaky-shake-shake,

(GRUNTS WlTH FRUSTRATlON)

That's it, man, l can't relax,

We gotta get outta here, man!

(SNORTS)

Pierre! l can clear this up with Captain Bramman, okay?

Hell, he'll probably throw in that big Christmas bonus

and l can finally buy a jacuzzi,

Relax, Jackson -- l own this place,

- Yeah, l know,,, - lt's police-proof,

Nobody's going anywhere, lt's my birthday,

And l'd like to celebrate it with my fugitive friends,

Yeah, Okay, okay,

ls that jealousy l smell on your breath? ( CHUCKLES)

You'll always be number one potato in my soup,

Use this drug orange to neutralise Dangerous 5

and bring me the girl,

Hmm,

- Hmm,

Does anybody care that l'm handcuffed to the bar?!

Hitler's after you, Holly, lt's for your own safety,

Why do we have to stay in this stinkin' place?

Metro City's, like, the shopping capital of the universe,

We should go on a spree! C'mon! lt's your birthday,

Ah, shush, Holly, Just enjoy your banana split,

Enjoy yourself, like Tucker!

Mmm, yeah, Ugh,,,

l guess revenge really does make you feel good,

An orange! Perfect!

Hey!

Whatever,

(ORANGE SCREAMS) A noisy orange?

Just my luck! They're the best!

l call this one the Naked Fugitive,

Mmm!

Hey, salute,

Uh,,, ugh,,,

Ohh, that's a good drink,

Naked time begins,

(SOUNDS ECHO) ORANGE: Psst, Psst!

(GRUNTS)

Hitler deserves to die, Mengele! We must continue as planned,

Hitler's reign as leader of the Fourth Reich must end!

Now, milk me with those supple hands,

Yes, Mr Pedro,

(MOANS) (MOANS)

HlTLER:

Uh, m-mein uhrer!t

l'm putting her back together!

You know l wanted Claire alive!

l loved her,

So much!

No! The Power-Stream!

(LAUGHS)

TUCKER: Well done, Tucker,

You've become a ninja, you've avenged your wife

and you've fixed up your grief,

You deserve this manly reward,

l've heard people do this all the time,

( CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me, madam, Could you hold this, please?

lt'll cost extra,

Ta, Claire,

(MOANS)

(MOANS)

(HEART MONlTOR BEEPS)

Stop drifting off and help me push out our baby!

Uh, baby?

But-but-but, but we never intercoursed!

(GROANS)

Uh,,, um, uh,,,

Uh, oh,,,

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS) (LAUGHS)

- Aaargh! - Get him out of me!

Uh, yep, uh,,, ( CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Uh,,,

(GROANS)

(LAUGHS)

(SCREAMS) (SCREAMS)

(LAUGHS)

(SCREAMS)

Argh! You're not my baby, Hitler!

- Where'd everybody go? (SCOFFS) l dunno,

Right, You're coming with me,

(GASPS)

To go shopping?

Yes, To go shopping,

(DOOR OPENS)

You have?

(SNlFFS) llsa, l can smell drugs on you, You're wasted,

(SENSU AL S YNTH MUSlC PLAYS)

l've been waiting for this moment,,, for so long,

YEAH!

- Mmm? - Do you have any rubbers, llsa?

l just don't know where you've been,

Uh, l mean,,, uh,,, Shit!

l'm just trying to be careful!

My lucky dollar,

My lucky day,

Dammit!

Oh, thank you for buying my freedom, friend,

One day l'll repay you,

l'm countin' on it, ball,

Oh! Oh,,, Ow,

Okay, come on, come on, come on, What l got? What l got?

Okay, a bullet, lint, a disc full of holes,

Uh,,,

Hmm,

Nice,

(HELlCOPTER WHlRRS)

BRAMMAN: Goddammit,

What kind of kinky commie shit is Jackson into?

Sonofabitch,

Nothing here except Christmas ham and calendars,

Guess you gotta keep 'em cold,

Has anybody got any goddamn leads?!

Hey! You there -- you piece of shit!

- What do you know? - Mmm?

Hmm, Oh, Oh, yeah, great,

(EAS Y-LlSTENlNG MUSlC PLAYS) (GASPS)

Hmm,,, Hmm! ( CHUCKLES)

(GASPS) Hey! lt's Santa!

Uh,,, Oh, l'm sorry, young lady --

it's, uh, closing time, and Santa must return to the North Pole,

Nuh-uh, Santa, You're gonna tell me where all the hot specials are!

Hey, missy, l don't know where anything is,

This ain't even my full-time gig,

l make my own brand of mayonnaises,

Hot,,, specials!

Ohh! Jesus wept!

G'day, ls this the police?

Oh, yes, Well, this is TUCKER!

Yes! The FUGlTlVE Tucker!

l'm holding the girl hostage in Bramwells' Department Store,

Come and get me,

What?

Oh, Men's shoes,

Stop!

Give me that issue of Bravo Teens Magazine,

Sure, Here,

Oh! What about this copy of Eggs ?

No!

Fine, Santa will have it,

(PATRONS EX CLAlM lN SURPRlSE)

MAN: Look out! He's got a gun!

(BEEP)

Clear the area, Watch your six!

('80s ROCK MUSlC PLAYS)

Freeze! MCPD! Everybody down!

Goddammit, This place smells like a dick!

Go! Go!

(DOOR OPENS) Uh, just a sec,

Here we go, Now we're ready,

- Gotcha, you sonofabitch, - Captain Bramman! We were gonna,,,

(GRUNTS) What the hell?!

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS) Rookie, get off me!

- Oh, Ah! - Get off me!

That's pretty low for a cop,

- Relax, Captain, She's with me, - Sure,

That's what they all say, you sick piece of shit,

No! We've been set up!

We've been set up! We've been,,,

Hmm,,,

- G'day, mate, - Ugh!

The store's closed, dammit, and l haven't got enough sweet stuff yet!

Yes, that's it -- keep making noise,

Damn right l will!

l'm a paying customer and l demand satisfaction!

Listen, Holly, l've spoken to Mr Bramwells

and he says you can stay here as long as you like,

Really?

Yes! So go on, have your spree,

Well, come help me try on stuff!

No, l've got bunyips to hunt,

Down,

Yeah,

Mm-hm,

Yeah,

Oh, yes!

Wow! A Gina Lombardi rock'n'roll jacket,,,

Huh?

,,, with leg warmer sleeves?!

l've got a twenty on the girl,

Yeah!

Oh! An apple, Ohh,

( CRUNCHES, GRUNTS)

Argh!

Huh?!

(TUBE BUZZES) Argh! Fluorescent tubes!

(GROANS) (LAUGHS EVlLLY)

(MACHlNE WHlNES)

Goddammit,

Ten years l called you my best man, Jackson,

Now you're a commie kidnapper piece of shit,

No! No, no, no, no, no,

l watched you eat every last piece of my wife's meatloaf,

you pinko piece of shit!

l got the beanbag rounds, Captain,

Do you know how much paperwork there is when a cop turns commie, huh?

Yes!

l haven't seen my wife for three months, you piece of shit!

Oh, your wife told me to say hi,

- Thanks, Rookie, ( CHUCKLES)

Now let's show this goddamn commie piece of shit

how we treat goddamn commie pieces of shit,

(GRUNTS)

(SlGHS)

(HlSSES)

Hello, llsa, ( CHUCKLES) lt's been a while,

There is no escape, llsa,

No,

(GASPS) - Clever girl,

(GROANS) ( CHUCKLES)

(GASPS FOR BREATH) (BUTTON CLlCKS)

(ALARM BLARES)

(ROARS)

- Aaagh! (ROARS)

(GRUNTS)

The team has been framed, McKenzie's vanished, my birthday is ruined,

Everything has gone fish!

MAN: (WHlSPERS) Psst, Hey! - Huh?

Happy birthday, Pierre,

Oh! Oh! A cake! Oh, for me?

Thank you, my friend, Oh!

- What is your name? - lt's Louis Detroit, sir,

And, well, l'm an aspiring clarinet player,

What is this? A demo?!

Come on, man, lt's real good stuff, lt'll set you free,

- You gotta put me on your label! - l don't know,,,

Please just listen to the tape,

(EAS Y-LlSTENlNG CLARlNET MUSlC PLAYS)

Holy fish! This is good music!

- Really?! - Yeah! l'm gonna make you big, my friend,

- All right! Yeah! - Yeah!

(GASPS) (SCREAMS)

Oh! Oh! Gimme the keys!

(SCREAMS) - Gimme the keys!

- Do we have a deal?! - Sure! Sure!

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

Hey! A hot wiener, popcorn, milkshake and cheesemaker combo!

Don't run, honey! We're here to help you!

(LAUGHS EVlLLY) - Huh?

( CHAlNSAWS BUZZ) (LAUGHS EVlLLY)

(SCREAMS) No! Why?!

Cut the shit, Tucker, you fugitive!

(LAUGHS EVlLLY)

No, not the face! (SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

(YAWNS)

(GUNSHOT)

BRAMMAN: Piece of shit!

( COCKS SHOTGUN) (GUNSHOT)

(GROANS, GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

( CHOKES)

(GRUNTS) Captain! The Nazis are back!

They set me up! l'm not a commie!

- Shut up, you red piece of shit, - Hey, no!

(GUNSHOT) (GRUNTS)

( COUGHS)

(GRUNTS, GROANS)

Goddammit, Rookie!

Give me a hand with this piece of shit!

(ROARlNG, GROWLlNG )

Rookie?

(GROWLlNG )

(ROARS)

Hey, buddy! What are you doing here?

Hey, buddy,

Aaaaaaagh!

Piece of shit! (GROANS)

My God! Your face looks like a piece of shit!

(ROARS)

Yah!

(ROARS)

( CHOKES)

l'm sorry, old friend, but l cannot carry you any further!

Goodbye, my friend,

(GRUNTS, GROANS)

Mengele! Mengele!

MENGELE!

MENGELE!

Ah, Hot meal,

MENGELE!

(ROARS)

Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom,

Wow! Scrunchie necklace!

Get your hands off me, lame-brain!

Hai,,,

Don't tell me what to do, Hitler!

Tucker! You've got a serious attitude problem,

- Ugh,,, - Huh?

l'm not dropping the katana,

lt was a present, and it,,, looks expensive,

Huh?

Lizardmen?!

NElN!

Ewww!

Hey! He's got my jacket!

(SQU AWKS)

Flamethrower? Nunchakus? Bazooka? Dammit! Which one to choose?

No!

a 3000cc Super Mike Super Bike!

Me too!

(ROARS)

(GRUNTS) (GROANS)

Goddammit! Where'd he come from? Where'd he come from, Chief?!

(ROARS)

(ROARS)

Slam-dunk-a-saurus,

(THUD!)

Agh!

(ROARS)

Ugh! Uh,,,

(GROWLS)

Come on, Come on!

l need a cigarette!

(ROARS) (GRUNTS)

Agh! llsa! Get this thing off of me!

Aagh! Aaagh!

(SHRlEKS)

Where's Hitler, fossil-face? Huh?

Did you eat him, huh?

(GRUNTS)

Nothing but noodles, (SCOFFS)

Aagh! Guys!

Hey! Now HE'S got my jacket!

Huh?

Take Hitler to the SWAT van,

l'll kill these mammals,

Agh! Fire! Anything but fire!

- After them, my friends! Hitler's our prize! - lt's not coming off!

(PEOPLE SCREAM) (MACHlNE-GUN FlRE)

(HlSSES)

Hmm! Hmm!

(PROTESTS lNDlSTlNCTLY)

(SlREN WAlLS)

What the wallaby are those dinosaurs doing with Hitler?

(GRUNTS)

l mean, none of this makes any sense,

(GRUNTS) - Oh, for goodness sake, Jackson!

Click-clack, buckle up, or l'll turn this car right around!

lt won't come out, goddammit! (GRUNTS)

Ugh!

Kiss me, Tucker!

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

Stop playing with my wife!

(TYRES SCREECH)

Whoa!

Hmm? (ROARS WlTH ANGER)

(HONKS HORN)

(BEEPlNG )

( CACKLES)

(GASPS) - Ohh!

(ROARS)

Face the might of Battle-Saurus!

( CACKLES)

(ROARS)

(ROARS)

(ROARS) - Ha!

- Get the hell down! (ALL EX CLAlM)

(BULLETS RlCOCHET)

(ROARS)

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

- Whoa! - Whoa!

Come on Super Mike! Get the lead out!

Aren't you the Turbo Edition?!

l'm sorry, Pierre, The blue one is the Turbo Edition,

- The blue one,,, blue one,,, - Uh, that's okay, my friend,

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

( CHUCKLES)

Hey, llsa, back at the bar, l should've came prepared,

Can l get a redo?

Uh, remember? l didn't have any rubbers?

Mmm,,, uh,,,

(SlREN WAlLS)

Well, let's have some music, shall we?

DJ: You're listening to Radio Pierre,

Here's Louis Detroit with Rainbow Dreams,

(EAS Y-LlSTENlNG CLARlNET MUSlC PLAYS)

Uh,,, uh,,,

All the king's horses couldn't put me back together again, Pierre,

Move on, Find another vehicle,

Never!

(TYRES SCREECH)

(ENGlNE REVS)

( CHUCKLES)

McKenzie! Where have you been?!

Where did you get that car from?!

(LAUGHS)

l'll never die,

(PROTESTS lNDlSTlNCTLY)

(BULLETS RlCOCHET)

Ooh!

Yeah, l got it, l got it,

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

- Ah, Thanks, my friend! (SCREAMS)

(GUNSHOT)

(BOTH LAUGH)

(SlREN BLARES)

Anyone want a nibble? Hmm?

Hmm? l get grumpy if l don't have a nibble,

( CHUCKLES)

Oop! Oh!

Hey, where'd the kid go?

Give me the goddamn jacket!

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

(SlGHS)

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

(GROWLS) (GlGGLES)

(ROARS)

- Aaagh! - Whoa!

Aaaaaarrrghh!

(GRUNTS)

Ow!

She took that like a champ!

(ROARS)

Get in the car, Holly, And click-clack, buckle up, or,,,

(SCREAMS)

BOTH: Whoa!

(TYRES SQUEAL)

Agh!

Time to fly!

( CHUCKLES) (BEEPlNG )

( CACKLES)

(PROTESTS lNDlSTlNCTLY)

- Ohh! - Ooh,

Oh, no, She's dead as a boomerang,

Come on, team, Let's go, let's go,

But Hitler's getting away, We're gonna lose him forever,

(TYRES SCREECH)

- Huh? - (GASPS) Holly!

- What have they done to you?! - (SNlFFS) Bingo, We got a fake lD,

- lt's from Vatican City! No! - Right,

Everybody in the car -- we're driving to the Vatican City,

(EERlE MUSlC PLAYS)

- You gotta be kidding me, - lt's a Christmas miracle!

Holly came back to life,

Oh, no! My jacket!

Why didn't my Claire come back to life, huh?

Hey,

These rips and tears are totally Euro-chic!

Yay for dino damage!

- Happy birthday, Pierre! - Happy birthday, Pierre!

- (LAUGHS) Yeah! - Thank you! Thank you!

- lt's a great day, - l miss Claire!

VOlCEOVER: New from Tamico!

VOlCEOVER: New from Tamico!

Dr Mengele's getting away in his Battle-Saurus Tyranno-Copter!

Here comes Rapid Fire with the Danger-Zooka!

Yeah! Danger Damage!

Dr Mengele uses the Evolution Chamber

to evolve into Deluxe Nazi-Saurus

with sonar exoskeleton attachment.

Good thing Pierre brought his Cocktail-Cannon to the Nazi Party!

Chill out, my friend!

l'll get you, Danger 5!

Vacation Pierre, Rock'n 'R oll Mengele,

Deluxe Nazi-Saurus

with sonar exoskeleton attachment,

Evolution Chamber, Battle-Saurus and Rapid Fire

each sold separately from Tamico.

SONG: o/~ Rainbow dreams - li's gonna be a greai dream,

( CLARlNET PLAYS ) o/~ Yeah o/~

Please don't let me wake up,

Subtitles SBS Australia 201 4

JACKSON: l'm getting major readings from McKenzie's Nazi-meter,,,

lt must be picking up holiness, not Naziness,

Australia!

Ohh, cricket!

l'm home!

Leave me alone, McKenzie!