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1
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:04,238
"Cheers" was filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:08,042
What
Are you doing?
3
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:11,212
Well, I'm leaving
A tip there for carla.
4
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,082
One of the oldest bar tricks
In the book there.
5
00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:16,417
Look, you see,
I fill the glass
With water,
6
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:19,853
I'm gonna invert it on top
Of this dollar bill,
7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,223
Put it on the bar,
Right?
8
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,525
It looks empty now,
Doesn't it?
9
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,628
Watch what happens
When she comes
To get her tip.
10
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:28,829
Fasten your seat belts
11
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:32,400
And wait for
The fun to begin.
12
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,367
Oh.
13
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,071
Thanks
For the tip, cliff.
14
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,979
Ah, the joke's
Still on her.
15
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:49,150
She's the one
That's got to
Mop up all this mess.
16
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,457
Thank you, carla.
17
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,326
Your apology's
Accepted.
18
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,667
* makin' your way
In the world today *
19
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,903
* takes everything
You've got *
20
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,506
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
21
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,675
* sure would
Help a lot *
22
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:18,846
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
23
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,651
* sometimes
You want to go *
24
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:27,421
* where everybody
Knows your name *
25
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:32,560
* and they're always
Glad you came *
26
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,397
* you want to be
Where you can see *
27
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,899
* our troubles
Are all the same *
28
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,168
* you want to be *
29
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,870
* where everybody
Knows your name *
30
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:46,707
* you want to go
Where people know *
31
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:49,310
* people are all
The same *
32
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,578
* you want to go *
33
00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:54,215
* where everybody
Knows your name **
34
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,901
Hey, guys.
35
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:14,968
Hey, woody.
36
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,404
Mom finally sent
37
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:17,771
Grandma meg's
Pressure cooker.
38
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,408
So last night I
Whipped up a batch of chili.
39
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,410
You want to try some?
Sure.
40
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,111
It's from an old
Family recipe.
41
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:25,446
Your grandma's?
42
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,848
No. This old family
That lived down the road.
43
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:31,452
Mmm.
44
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,921
Woody,
This is excellent.
45
00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:35,723
Normie, what
Do you think?
46
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,358
[belch]
47
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:40,861
He likes it.
Normie likes it.
48
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,730
I'm sorry.
It seems we've
Eaten it your chili.
49
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,865
I've still got plenty
Left in the thermos.
50
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,705
I didn't have breakfast
Today, all right?
51
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:57,077
Quick, turn on
The weather channel.
52
00:02:57,077 --> 00:03:00,614
I wonder if that
Sentence has ever
Been spoken before.
53
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,785
Ah, yeah.
There she is.
54
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:05,986
Who?
55
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,888
Weathergirl dorothy,
My favorite.
56
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,190
Isn't she dreamy?
57
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,792
Cliff, everybody
Looks sort of dreamy
58
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,762
When they
Have giant clouds
Floating behind them.
59
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:15,829
Listen, listen.
60
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,931
She's got the cutest
Little lateral lisp.
61
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,133
I always get a giggle
When she tries to
Pronounce
62
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,470
Stratocumulus.
63
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:25,239
So you, uh, you watch
This a lot, do you?
64
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:26,540
Oh, yeah.
65
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,342
You get kind of
A fatherly feeling
66
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,711
About these weather anchors
After a while.
67
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,347
Well, besides,
It's on all night.
68
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,618
You're a very
Lonely man,
Aren't you, cliff?
69
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:41,322
Not as long as I got
My weather channel.
70
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,224
Hey, guys.
71
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,159
Hey, sammy's back.
72
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,696
How was your weekend
In the mountains
With natalie?
73
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,063
So great.
74
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,231
Nothing like
Schussing down
75
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,533
Those fine
White slopes.
76
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,101
Ah, you went
Skiing, huh?
77
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,969
No, no.
78
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:02,209
Oh, goody.
Sam, you're back.
79
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,144
That's what
Natalie said.
80
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:07,815
Actually, she said,
"Oh, goody, sam,
Your front."
81
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:13,354
I have a very, very special
Surprise for you,
82
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:16,524
So just close your eyes
And come with me.
83
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,592
That was the deja vu
Of the whole weekend.
84
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,265
Ok. You can
Open your eyes.
85
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,267
Ok.
86
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,872
Well?
87
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,574
I can't tell you
88
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,777
How much better
Natalie's surprise was.
89
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,546
Well, you
Don't like it?
90
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:43,250
Well, it's--it's just...
91
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,118
Boy.
92
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,154
I mean, it's--it's really...
93
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,756
Boy.
94
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:50,924
No, that's
Not the right word.
95
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,059
It's not boy at all.
96
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,861
It's...
97
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,195
It's a tearoom.
98
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,165
Thanks for not
Making me guess.
99
00:04:58,165 --> 00:04:59,600
So what
Do you think?
100
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,269
Well, you want
My honest first
Impression,
101
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,338
My gut reaction?
102
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:05,339
Yes, I do.
103
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,441
I hate it.
I hate it!
104
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:10,911
How could you
Do this without
Asking me first?
105
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,746
Without
Asking you first?
106
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,282
Wait a minute.
I happen to have paid
$25,000 to john hill
107
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:17,485
To get this
Poolroom back.
108
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:18,786
If it hadn't
Have been for me,
109
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,153
You wouldn't even
Have this poolroom.
110
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:24,458
I don't have a poolroom.
I have a tearoom. Ish!
111
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,226
Oh, oh, oh...
112
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,461
Look what
You made me do.
113
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:30,130
You made me say ish.
114
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,966
What's that
On the floor?
115
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,703
It's a throw rug.
116
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:36,837
Oh.
117
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,038
Oh, hey.
118
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,940
Look at that.
It works.
119
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,877
This wouldn't happen to be
A throw table, would it?
120
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,379
Sam, wait.
121
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:46,814
If you're gonna
Take my money,
122
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:50,451
I think my ideas
Deserve a little bit
More respect.
123
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:55,489
All right.
You're right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
124
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,759
This just came
As a little bit of a shock
To me, that's all.
125
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,762
Tell you what,
Why don't I
Just go outside
126
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:04,765
And come back in
And start fresh.
127
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,934
That would be good, sam.
Sam. Thank you.
128
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,839
I hate it. I hate it.
I hate it!
129
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:12,973
Ish!
130
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:19,346
I'm putting that room
Back the way it was...
131
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,649
Soon as I find
My pool table.
132
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,751
3 ball,
Corner pocket.
133
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:27,855
Thanks, sam.
134
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:30,658
A little too
Much english
On that.
135
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:34,628
Sam, please. I know
I sprung this on you,
136
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,864
But please
Give it a chance.
I think it could work.
137
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,999
My marketing survey
Showed this neighborhood
138
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,868
Was in need of
Something like this.
139
00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:43,336
People want to go into
A place where they can
Just relax,
140
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,673
A nice, quiet,
Pretty little place
141
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:48,742
Where they can
Just sit and talk.
142
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,677
[belch]
143
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,112
Good one.
144
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,816
Honey, you're crazy.
145
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:58,018
I have people
Coming in here
146
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,152
Just to shoot stick.
147
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:02,422
That poolroom makes me
An extra $100 a night.
148
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,724
Yeah, well, I bet
With my tearoom
149
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,659
I could make 500
Bucks tonight.
150
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,327
500 bucks in one night?
151
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,763
What else are you
Selling back there?
152
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,666
Sam, it's
My grand opening.
153
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,802
I've been promoting
All over town.
154
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,804
You make $500
In one night,
155
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,238
And that tearoom's
Yours.
156
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,272
It's a bet.
157
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,741
Ok, it's a bet.
158
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,643
But I want you to
Know there's no
Losers here.
159
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,478
Because I'll share
Half the profit
With you.
160
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,547
Oh. Ooh!
161
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,381
Half the profits
Of the tearoom.
162
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,817
Ooh!
163
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,785
Oh, boy. Why didn't you
Say so before?
164
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,554
Let's figure this out here.
165
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,922
All right.
166
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,624
Let's see. We'll start
With your profits.
167
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:39,326
That'll be--whoo!
168
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,994
No, wait.
I get half of this.
169
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,295
And that makes--
170
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,498
Another whoo!
171
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,567
Fellas, look!
I get a great big zero,
172
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,101
And I don't have
To lift a finger.
173
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,571
Oh, thank you, thank you!
I can retire!
174
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,205
Whoo! Thank you!
175
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:58,579
God, he's a butthead.
176
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,285
[lisping]
Now let's take
A look
177
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,954
At
The regional map.
178
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,089
Southern sectors
Will experience
Scattered clouds
179
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,158
Over the
Mississippi basin.
180
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,594
Boy.
181
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:14,762
Don't you just love
182
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:17,130
How she says
Mississippi basin?
183
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:19,667
It just melts
Your heart, doesn't it?
184
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:22,936
You know, I sent a fan
Letter to my dorothy.
185
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,872
I wonder if she'll
Ever even read it.
186
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:27,407
I mean,
They must get so many.
187
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:28,976
You know, I don't
Think so, cliff.
188
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:29,977
I don't think
That many people
189
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:32,112
Watch
The weather channel.
190
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,313
Seriously,
I don't think that
Many people know
191
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,315
There is
A weather channel.
192
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:38,018
Boy, norm,
Are you out of touch.
193
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:43,857
Hey, frase, lilith.
Get you a drink?
194
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,560
We are not here
For libation this day.
195
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,696
We are here
For the grand opening
196
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,163
Of rebecca's tearoom.
197
00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:54,234
Yeah? What, you're
Going to go back there
198
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,836
And make fun of her?
199
00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:00,440
No. We're going
To go have some tea.
200
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,842
Then what,
201
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,677
You're going to spit it
On the floor
202
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,145
And laugh at her?
203
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,416
Just going to order it
And drink it down.
204
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,886
What's funny
About that?
205
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,554
We're not trying
To be funny.
206
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,056
We're just here
For some tea.
207
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,891
Is that
So hard to believe?
208
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,559
Yeah, seeing as how
She's been open all day,
209
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,962
And you're
The first customers.
210
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:25,032
Well, maybe the word
Hasn't gotten out yet,
211
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:28,035
Although she did send us
This lovely invitation,
212
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,938
Hand-calligraphed
On a lace doily.
213
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,806
Didn't anyone else
Get one of these?
214
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,178
Very funny.
215
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,848
You could have put
Someone's eye out,
You know.
216
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:45,585
Let's go, frasier.
217
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,688
Hey, wait, frase.
218
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:48,856
You're not really
Going to go in there
219
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:50,423
And drink tea, are you?
220
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,859
Come on out here
221
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,728
And sit at the bar
With the guys.
222
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,631
Come on. Over here.
223
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,700
Yeah.
224
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,402
Well,
I guess I could.
225
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,104
Ahem.
226
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,840
No.
227
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,008
You're telling us
228
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,476
You're just going
To go back there
229
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:12,479
And sit with your wife
And sip tea?
230
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,614
Yep. That's me--
231
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,350
Whipped
And proud of it.
232
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,090
Thank you.
233
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,291
Here you are.
234
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,859
Please allow me.
235
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,731
There you are. There.
236
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:31,865
Now you'll notice
On the menu
237
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,734
That we have
A wide selection
238
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,669
Of sandwiches
And delectables
239
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:39,272
And many,
Many varieties of tea.
240
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,041
So, what can I get you?
241
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,711
Just some tea,
Please.
242
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,747
But--that's it? Just tea?
243
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:49,216
Well, perhaps
I could tempt you
244
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:51,384
With some tiny
Little sandwiches
245
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,654
Or fresh biscuits,
246
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,657
Scones.
247
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,760
We're both
Watching
Our diets,
248
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,195
So two pots
Of orange pekoe
Would be lovely.
249
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,765
Hon, maybe we should
Split a pot.
250
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:07,334
Well...
251
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:11,104
Perhaps one of my slightly
More expensive herbal teas?
252
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,572
No, thank you.
253
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:15,008
You guys cannot
Just have tea.
254
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,576
Tea is a loss leader.
255
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:19,813
I lose money
Just boiling the water.
256
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,414
And lilith, look.
257
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,583
You are hardly fat.
258
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,019
You are borderline
Anorexic.
259
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,790
Just pig out. Order
Some strawberry tarts.
260
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,324
Strawberries
Make me break out.
261
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:35,128
At least that will put
A little color in your face.
262
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,832
Perhaps we won't
Have anything
At all.
263
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,801
Fine. I don't really care.
264
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,870
Get out!
265
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:45,806
Thanks for coming.
Tell all your friends.
266
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,443
Frasier, lilith,
267
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,212
I'm sorry.
268
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,514
I'm sorry.
I'm just desperate.
269
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,749
I don't understand
270
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:56,817
Why nobody
Wants to come back
271
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,786
To my beautiful
Tearoom.
272
00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,087
Well, rebecca,
273
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,589
A restaurant
Should be...
274
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:05,525
Like a mistress.
275
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,294
You see,
276
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:11,531
One shouldn't feel
That she's
Overeager to please.
277
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,833
It's far more enticing
278
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,202
If you need her
More than she needs you.
279
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:21,141
Who is this "She"
You're talking
About, frasier?
280
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,443
It's purely hypothetical.
281
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:24,744
It's
A little strange
282
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,379
For a happily
Married man
283
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,748
To go prattling on
About a mistress.
284
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,517
Oh, come on, hon,
Give me this one.
285
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,853
You already heard me
Admit I was whipped
In front of the boys.
286
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,922
That was good.
287
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:39,759
You were right, sam.
288
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,761
Nobody's gonna
Come in here
289
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,563
And have high tea
And crumpets.
290
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:44,932
Oh, don't give up hope.
291
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,934
Maybe a carriage
Will break down
292
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,435
In front of the pub,
293
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,638
And they'll come in
For a cup of tea.
294
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:52,772
Cup of tea, please.
295
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,241
God, I hate you.
296
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,510
Ok, guys.
297
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:02,015
Just made up a fresh
New batch of chili.
298
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,451
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
299
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,718
Now, all I ask
300
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:08,021
Is you please
Leave me some this time.
301
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,493
You guys really
Like that chili,
Don't you?
302
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,928
Do you think
303
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,130
That if I sold
That kind of chili
In my tearoom,
304
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,566
That I could make
$500 a night?
305
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,169
Easy, but why would
Anyone want to go back there?
306
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,771
We got a free pot
Of chili right here.
307
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:25,906
Good point.
308
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,541
Chili in the tearoom!
309
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,844
Chili in the tearoom!
310
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,381
Sammy,
Kiss that poolroom
Goodbye, pal.
311
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:52,365
Sam, she's selling
An awful lot of chili
In there.
312
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:55,235
She must be getting
Pretty close to that
$500 mark.
313
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,770
Oh, come on,
So she's selling
A couple bowls.
314
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,539
I mean,
How much chili
Can a guy eat?
315
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,841
Boy, I can't eat
Another mouthful.
316
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:02,842
See what I mean?
317
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,977
Thank goodness
They sell
318
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:06,213
These gallon buckets
For takeout.
319
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,151
Oh, man. I'm going
To lose my poolroom.
320
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,619
I've got to think of
Some way to stop her.
321
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:13,653
I agree with you.
322
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:14,922
Go for the jugular.
323
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,057
What do you mean,
Like, sabotage her?
324
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,259
No. Go for her jugular.
325
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:25,165
She can't sell chili
When her throat's
All ripped out.
326
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:28,168
Well, she could,
But who'd want to buy it?
327
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,470
No, I got it. I got it.
328
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,173
Let's call
The fire marshal on her.
329
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,675
No, no. That would be
Below the belt.
330
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,510
I can't do that.
331
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:40,013
Sam, can I
Talk to you?
332
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,481
I just realized
333
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,483
That the closer
I'm getting
To my goal,
334
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,352
The more--all I'm
Thinking about is
Winning,
335
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,187
And that's
Not right.
336
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,655
I mean,
I wasn't considering
Your feelings.
337
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:51,091
You've had
That poolroom for
Many, many years.
338
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,126
I guess what I'm
Trying to say is,
339
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,328
* ha ha ha
Ha ha ha *
340
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,630
* I'm gonna win
Your poolroom **
341
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:04,904
Call the fire marshal.
342
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,745
Glad that dinner rush
Is over.
343
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,514
Give me time to put up
A new pot
344
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,817
Before the after-theater
Crowd gets here.
345
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,586
Sam, I'm taking a break.
346
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,054
Me, too, sammy.
347
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,855
I'm down
To the last notch
On my belt.
348
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:26,659
I had to
Make a new one
With a nail.
349
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,396
Hey, cliff. You got
Something in the mail.
350
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,763
That reminds me.
351
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,732
Did I ever take you out back
And kick the hell out of you
352
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,934
For that postal increase?
353
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,069
Uh-huh.
354
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:38,938
Good. Just going over
My checklist.
355
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,408
Well, look at this.
356
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:44,477
It's a reply from
My weathergirl dorothy.
357
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:47,047
Look at that,
The sweetheart.
358
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,715
She sent a little photo
Of herself.
359
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,018
No, I believe that's
A satellite photo
360
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:53,987
Of the entire
Eastern seaboard.
361
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:56,289
Oh, yeah,
But she's in there.
362
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,258
I mean, I'm in there.
363
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,860
We're all in there.
364
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,096
The letter says,
"Dear cliff,
365
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:05,098
"Thank you so much for
Your sweet letter.
366
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,399
"You didn't mention
What grade you
Are in,
367
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,101
"But from
The handwriting,
368
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:12,105
"I guess that
You're a big boy
Of 11 or 12.
369
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,406
"Maybe when you
Grow up,
370
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,408
"You can be a
Weatherperson, too.
371
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,244
Yours truly,
Dorothy borsek."
372
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,913
Sam,
The fire marshal.
373
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,482
Sam?
374
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,118
We got a tip that cheers
Is operating a kitchen
375
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,619
Without a permit.
376
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,688
Anything to that?
377
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:29,922
Oh, gosh, no.
378
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:32,125
I don't think
Anything that would
Concern you.
379
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,727
Just a couple of
Exposed propane tanks,
380
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,363
Unventilated hot plate,
381
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,431
I mean, but that's--
Now wait a second.
382
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,134
Gee, that's a potential
Fire hazard,
383
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,636
And you're
A fire marshal.
384
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,172
What was I thinking?
385
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:49,742
I think I'll just
Take a look-see.
386
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,646
Maybe I
Shouldn't have called
387
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,148
The fire department.
388
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,149
Maybe that was wrong.
389
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,450
Don't chicken out now.
390
00:16:57,450 --> 00:17:00,453
Maybe I should have
Put a mouse in the chili
391
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,155
And called
The health department.
392
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,756
That would have
Been funnier.
393
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:08,561
Sam, you should be
Ashamed of yourself.
394
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,798
Do you realize everything
That rebecca has attempted
In her life
395
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,666
Has resulted in failure?
396
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:15,135
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
397
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,536
This is her first success,
398
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,271
And you're trying to
Take it away from her.
399
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,839
That's my poolroom.
400
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,074
But it's her life.
401
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,475
But it's
My poolroom.
402
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,079
Come on, you guys
Understand that, don't you?
403
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,880
Yeah, sam.
We understand.
404
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,416
We understand
You made a fair bet,
405
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,084
You saw you were
Gonna lose,
406
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:32,385
And you
Started cheating.
407
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,388
Well, I didn't want
To be a bad sport.
408
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:39,359
I just wanted to do
Anything I had to to win.
409
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,329
That's no reason for you
To be a cheater.
410
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,364
But you were the
One that told me
To cheat.
411
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,699
No, I said to kill her.
412
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:51,438
Cheating is wrong.
413
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,107
I'm sorry.
414
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,376
What, you all
Hate me now?
415
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,511
Well, kind of,
Yeah.
416
00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:02,482
I'm afraid
That's some list,
Miss howe.
417
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:05,218
Great. Now he's
Writing her up a citation.
418
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:08,421
So it's beans,
Tomato paste,
419
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,124
Onions, peppers,
And ground beef.
420
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,625
No, that's ground chuck.
421
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,127
Oh!
422
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,562
Ground chuck.
423
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,166
Serves eight?
424
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,567
Uh-huh. What are
You gonna do,
425
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,235
Share it with the other guys
At the firemen?
426
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,436
Why should I?
427
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,973
What have they
Ever done for me?
428
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,408
Sam...
429
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,943
Why do you suppose
The fire marshal
430
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:34,981
Would come by my chili room
Tonight of all nights?
431
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,283
Kismet?
432
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,419
No. Because you
Tipped him off.
433
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,654
Sam, you could have
Gotten me shut down.
434
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:45,492
Thank god
That dear man
Loves his chili.
435
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,994
I'm sorry. I got
Carried away.
436
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,296
Yes, you did.
437
00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:52,165
Listen, I got to
Make this up to you.
438
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:55,635
How close are you
To getting that $500?
439
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:56,436
About $20.
440
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:57,604
I'll tell you what.
441
00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:01,441
Let me buy
A bowl of chili for $20.
442
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:02,709
No, sam,
You don't need
To do that.
443
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:04,611
I want to prove to you
I'm no poor loser.
444
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,679
Come on. Give me
My bowl of chili here.
445
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:09,216
Thank you, sam.
This is nice of you.
446
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:11,384
Go ahead.
Just put on woody's hat
447
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,619
And get the chili
Yourself.
448
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:13,853
Because I want
To get my camera
449
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:14,921
And get a picture of you
450
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,323
Pouring
That bowl of chili
451
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,957
That put me
Over the top.
452
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,559
You got to
Warm it up.
453
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,961
You know how to
Turn on the flame?
Kind of tricky.
454
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:23,330
I'll figure it out.
455
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:28,668
[explosion]
456
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,404
Yep. That's how I
Figured it out, too.
457
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,653
It was a accident.
458
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,957
Sammy, are you ok?
459
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:53,360
You ever had
A pot of chili
460
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,762
Fly by your face
At the speed of light?
461
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:56,996
No.
462
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,331
Don't.
463
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,134
Look at that hole
In that wall.
464
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,670
Who could miss it?
465
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:07,307
I'm talking about
That brick wall
Across the alley.
466
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:10,076
That pressure cooker
Really wanted
Out of here.
467
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:12,579
Ok, everybody
Out of here. Out.
468
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:13,380
Come on!
469
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,181
Everybody out.
470
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,083
Go back to the bar,
Please.
471
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,385
Not you.
472
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:21,354
I want to talk to you.
473
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:22,689
Don't you think
474
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:26,393
Maybe I should go to
A trauma center first?
475
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,228
Some of this
Could be me.
476
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,566
Oh, I know
What you're thinking.
477
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,269
I didn't do this
On purpose.
478
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,338
I swear to god I didn't
Do it on purpose.
479
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,573
You did it just because
I started doing really well
Back here,
480
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,574
And you're jealous.
481
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,042
You're just a big baby.
482
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,444
I am not.
Yes, you are.
483
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:47,314
You want
Everything for you
And nothing for me.
484
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:48,515
Well, yeah.
485
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:51,284
If that's being
A big baby, ok,
486
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:52,585
But I'm a guy.
487
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,254
I'm supposed to be
A big baby.
488
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,723
And you're a woman.
489
00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:59,091
You're supposed to be
Like a nice mommy
490
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:02,595
And tell me everything's ok
And pat me on the head.
491
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:06,599
I'd like to
Pat you on the head
With a pickax.
492
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:10,303
Well, I know
How you feel,
And I'm sorry.
493
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:11,904
This is crazy.
494
00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:14,240
I feel so sorry.
495
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,575
No, you don't.
496
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:18,378
Yes, I do. I really do.
I just feel terrible.
497
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:21,448
I feel like I could cry.
498
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:24,116
Ok.
499
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,685
Ok, what?
500
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:28,821
Cry.
501
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,723
What do you mean?
502
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:33,693
I mean make water
Come out of your eyes.
503
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,763
That way I'll know that
504
00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:39,666
You're really sorry for
What you've done here.
505
00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:42,702
Just cry?
506
00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:43,636
Yep.
507
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:59,251
Does it count if you
Really want to cry
508
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:00,286
But you can't?
509
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:01,454
No.
510
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:02,689
Cry, sam.
511
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,596
No onions.
512
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,433
I want real tears.
Now just cry.
513
00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:14,801
Give me a break.
514
00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:18,204
Isn't this enough?
A guy who can't cry?
515
00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:19,572
I mean,
That is heartbreaking.
516
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:21,273
Honey, there's
Nothing sadder
517
00:22:21,273 --> 00:22:23,175
Than a man
Who can't cry.
518
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,478
No, sam.
It is not enough.
519
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:30,450
Wait. Maybe I can
Help you out here.
520
00:22:37,156 --> 00:22:39,459
[glass breaking]
521
00:22:43,430 --> 00:22:45,432
There. Now we can go.
522
00:22:45,432 --> 00:22:46,566
Come on.
523
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,469
What was that sound?
524
00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:53,172
That was the sound of me
Breaking all the windows
Of your corvette.
525
00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:54,507
[crying]
526
00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:57,176
There. Now there
Are those tears.
36183
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