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1
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:04,405
"Cheers" is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:05,406
Watch this.
3
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:14,615
What do you got,
Wood?
4
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,184
Watch closely
5
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:19,019
As I remove
My own index finger.
6
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:21,655
Something I learned
From my uncle,
7
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:25,025
Only when I do it,
It's a trick.
8
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,428
Eh?
9
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:30,931
Not bad, but I think
Cliffie's still
Ahead on points.
10
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,933
And in what
Sophomoric activity
11
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,802
Are you gentlemen
Involved now?
12
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:38,139
Our first annual
Tricks with digits
Exhibition.
13
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,875
Of all the pointless
Wastes of human energy.
14
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,177
Frasier's right.
15
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,479
You could sit here
Until the end of time
16
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:46,814
Doing your silly
Finger tricks,
17
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:49,617
But none of you
Will ever be able to top this.
18
00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,193
Wow. She's right.
19
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:00,728
The king is dead.
20
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,630
Long live the queen.
21
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:03,697
Yeah.
22
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,266
And she's writing.
23
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,601
She's going
For bonus points.
24
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:08,902
What's it say?
25
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,639
"My fist is stuck.
Call 911."
26
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,843
Come on, hon.
27
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,679
This happens to her
More often than you'd think.
28
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:29,157
* makin' your way
In the world today *
29
00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:32,226
* takes everything
You've got *
30
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,895
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
31
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,830
* sure would help a lot *
32
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:41,469
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
33
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,307
* sometimes
You wanna go *
34
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:49,710
* where everybody
Knows your name *
35
00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:54,715
* and they're always
Glad you came *
36
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,552
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
37
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:01,189
* our troubles
Are all the same *
38
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,423
* you wanna be *
39
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:06,360
* where everybody
Knows your name *
40
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,062
* you wanna go
Where people know *
41
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,699
* people are all the same *
42
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:12,900
* you wanna go *
43
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:16,270
* where everybody
Knows your name **
44
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,454
How am I supposed to make
A drink around here?
45
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:37,124
We're out of gin, vermouth,
Cherries, and lime juice.
46
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,159
We got to get
Into that storeroom.
47
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,529
We can't. Sam said
To substitute.
48
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,863
Ok.
49
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:47,201
There you go.
50
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,436
What the hell is this?
51
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:49,937
It's clam juice.
52
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,342
I wanted a martini.
53
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:57,311
I wanted to be
Princess carla
Of monaco.
54
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,447
Drink it.
55
00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:01,949
Sorry, mr. Krabintz.
56
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,984
We can't
Get into the office
Or the storeroom
57
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,386
Miss howe
Locked herself in
58
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:08,021
Since she decided
Not to marry mr. Colcord.
59
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,190
She's still in
There. She's still
In the gown.
60
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,760
She won't talk to
Anybody, doesn't
Move. Doesn't eat.
61
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,094
Gee, that's awful.
62
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,230
I really wanted
A martini.
63
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,168
Greetings, all.
64
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,404
A pint of lager,
My good publican.
65
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:25,806
I'm of a dickensian
Spirit today.
66
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:28,409
I've just come from
The antiquarian book fair,
67
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:29,810
Where I managed to luck
68
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,812
Into a handsomely bound
First edition
69
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:34,348
Of charles dickens'
Tale of two cities.
70
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,350
If you don't
Mind my asking,
71
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,419
How much
Does something
Like this cost?
72
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,921
Well, woody, money
Isn't really the issue,
73
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,324
But, uh, around $1,200.
74
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,826
1,200 bucks?
75
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,430
I got something
To show you,
Dr. Crane.
76
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,565
It's called
A library card.
77
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,436
Thank you
For the advice.
78
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,705
Now may I have a scotch
On the rocks, please?
79
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:58,839
Okey-doke.
80
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:03,511
That'll be
Around 1,200 bucks.
81
00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:05,546
Frasier, you know,
It's a good thing
You're here
82
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,715
Because we got to think
Of some way
83
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:10,751
To get that crazy lady
Out of the office.
It's been 2 days.
84
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,553
Well, I realize that
You're concerned
About rebecca,
85
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,854
And that you all
Look to me
86
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,723
As the solver
Of all problems personal,
87
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,725
But in this case
I have to throw up my hands.
88
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,693
There's a limit
To what even I can do.
89
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:23,263
We also know
How you pout when
We don't ask you.
90
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:27,468
Fine.
91
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,603
Maybe I'll just go home.
92
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:34,475
Ok. I got the toolbox here.
93
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:37,911
I'll get rebecca out
Of that office right now.
94
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,148
Rebecca!
95
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:43,951
I got a screwdriver here!
96
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,487
I'm going to take
That doorknob off,
97
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,289
And I'm going
To open the door here.
98
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:51,592
Rebecca!
99
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:54,161
I got a phillips head
By mistake,
100
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:55,629
But I'm going to...
101
00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:58,632
I'm putting that down,
102
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,134
And I'm picking up
A flat head,
103
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,472
And then I'm going to take
That doorknob off.
104
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,508
Rebecca!
105
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,510
I don't have a flat head,
106
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:12,179
But I have one
Of those putty things,
107
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,647
And I'm going to...
108
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,350
Damn.
109
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:19,653
Ok, rebecca,
I just punctured my thumb
110
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,522
With that, uh,
Putty thing,
111
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:24,358
And I'm going
To go get a tetanus shot,
112
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,193
Then I'm coming back here
113
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,661
And taking
That doorknob off.
114
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,196
Here's a band-aid.
115
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,432
Hey. Hey, guys,
Rebecca.
116
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,766
Rebecca's out.
117
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,768
No, no.
Don't say rebecca.
118
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,470
Don't
Call me rebecca.
119
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:39,139
Rebecca doesn't
Live here anymore.
120
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,542
Rebecca died
Two days ago.
121
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,977
Oh. So that's
What that is.
122
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:44,912
Whoo.
123
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,416
I'm telling you,
124
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:51,519
A woman should never
Sweat in taffeta.
125
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,888
Have a seat. Come on.
126
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:55,989
Thank you.
127
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,559
Wow.
128
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:01,495
I've never
Sat here before.
129
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:05,566
Here I am, sitting
On this stool,
130
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,568
Knowing
My life is a mess.
131
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:08,836
I have no future,
132
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:11,672
And I'm a totally
Hopeless failure.
133
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:14,141
Yeah. Try it
With beer nuts.
134
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,547
It is all my fault.
135
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:21,048
I mean, I got
What I deserved,
136
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,382
And now I'm alone.
137
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,584
I have nothing,
138
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,853
And I'm
Just a, you know,
139
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:27,855
Worthless,
Shallow person.
140
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:30,824
I'm telling you,
Try it with the beer nuts.
141
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,695
Rebecca,
142
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:37,598
I realize you haven't sought
My professional advice,
143
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,332
But I think it's time
To get some perspective.,
144
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:42,603
Take a look at yourself,
Splash some water
On your face,
145
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,237
And get a fresh start.
146
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,539
I'd like to,
Frasier,
147
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,709
But I seem
To have lost
The will to move.
148
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,711
I just
Want to sit here
149
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,345
For the rest
Of my life.
150
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,681
Maybe it's the stool.
151
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,522
Come on,
Miss howe.
152
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,557
Woody,
153
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,759
Have you ever had
Your whole life
154
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,161
Cave in on you
All of a sudden?
155
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:11,632
No, but I have had
A cave cave in on me
All of a sudden.
156
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,102
At the risk
Of sounding insensitive,
157
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,938
I'm glad she's
Getting out of here.
158
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,373
Her walking around
In that wedding dress
159
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,976
Was a tad
Too miss havisham for me.
160
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,378
Who?
161
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:26,379
Miss havisham.
162
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:27,915
Famous character
163
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,182
From charles dickens'
Great expectations.
164
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,383
Spends the entire novel
165
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,285
Walking around
In her wedding dress.
166
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,286
What?
167
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,387
Yes.
168
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,756
Oh, surely you know it.
169
00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:37,758
It's great expectations.
170
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:41,028
Pip, miss havisham,
Magwitch,
171
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:43,396
And, uh...
172
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,833
And four...
Pizza-loving turtles
173
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:49,236
Who practice martial arts
In the sewer.
174
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:52,405
Hey,
Cowabunga, dude.
175
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,674
You know,
176
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,676
A lot of people
Don't realize
177
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,512
That was
A comic book first.
178
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:03,216
I'm going to go
For a drive, sam.
179
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:06,219
Yeah, sweetheart,
That's a good idea.
Get some fresh air.
180
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,856
Take all the time
You want.
Thank you.
181
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:12,459
Where did she
Get those clothes?
182
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,795
Sam, could you
Dig some clothes
183
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:17,565
Out of the lost
And found?
184
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:28,642
Here you go.
Woody, come out here.
Let's take a look.
185
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,110
Hey, sam,
How long did you say
186
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,612
These clothes
Have been in the
Lost and found?
187
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:33,614
I don't know.
A while, I guess. Why?
188
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:49,663
Hey, sam, is that woody boyd,
Or is that keith partridge?
189
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:55,302
When's miss howe
Getting back
With my real clothes?
190
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,605
I can't go out
Like this.
191
00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,339
I know
It was the seventies
And all,
192
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,874
But who would dress
193
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,910
In anything
This dumb-looking?
194
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,714
Boy, those duds
Look familiar.
195
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,086
"Property of
C. Clavin."
196
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:17,324
Deep inside,
Didn't we all know that?
197
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,961
These were
Your clothes,
Mr. Clavin?
198
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,029
I guess.
199
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,496
How'd they end up
In the lost and found?
200
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:24,998
How did they
End up in there?
201
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:29,302
Well, it was the seventies,
And I was a swinger.
202
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:32,940
Uh-oh.
203
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,908
I had some good times
In those rags, woody.
204
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,410
We don't want
To hear about it.
205
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,080
It was great--
The disco scene.
206
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,081
Groovin'.
207
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:41,882
Ixnay, cliff.
208
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,184
It was
A great decade, huh?
209
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:47,387
Hot tub it every night,
And I got rolfed.
210
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:48,889
Please stop,
Mr. Clavin.
211
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:52,059
Now I remember how
I lost those clothes.
212
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,661
Oh, don't say it.
Don't say it.
213
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,195
I was streaking.
214
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:58,766
Oh, I knew it! I knew
He was going to say it.
215
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:01,769
Of course I was about
3 pounds lighter then.
216
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,004
Woody, I think it
Was a great sacrifice
217
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,807
For you to give
Your clothes to rebecca.
218
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,409
It puts re in mind
Of another novel
219
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,211
By my favorite
British author.
220
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,613
You know who I mean.
I'll give you a hint.
221
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,649
Charles...
222
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:17,985
In charge?
223
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,254
Are you people
Really this ignorant,
224
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:24,624
Or do you just do this
To torture me?
225
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,260
Sometimes the two
Go hand in hand.
226
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:28,962
All right.
Gather 'round, everyone.
227
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,264
I'm going to right
A horrible wrong.
228
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,967
I'm going to read
To you dickens' classic
229
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,736
A tale of two cities.
230
00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:38,338
You'll see
Just how much fun
231
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,639
Great literature
Can be.
232
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,708
Oh.
233
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:42,242
"Book I."
234
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,178
"It was the best of times.
It was the worst of times."
235
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:48,315
Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Which was it?
236
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,555
Just stay tuned, norm.
237
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:58,458
"It was the age of wisdom.
238
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,460
"It was the age
Of foolishness.
239
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,628
"It was the epic
Of belief.
240
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,463
It was the epic
Of incredulity."
241
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:04,965
Boy, this dickens guy
242
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:08,268
Really liked to keep his
Butt covered, didn't he?
243
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:12,505
"There was a king
With a large jaw
244
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,608
"And a queen
With a plain face
245
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,444
"On the throne of england
246
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,046
"And...
247
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,948
And..."
248
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:24,284
And there was
A bloodthirsty clown
249
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,954
Who beckoned innocent
Children into the sewer
250
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:28,922
And swallowed them whole.
251
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,524
Ahh.
252
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,861
That's a neat trick.
253
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,263
[telephone rings]
254
00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:37,765
Wait a minute, frasier.
Wait a second.
255
00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:39,867
Yeah. Cheers. What?
256
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:42,870
I, uh...Rebecca,
Where are you calling from?
257
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,704
I can barely hear you.
258
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,174
30,000 feet
Over pittsburgh.
259
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:49,843
I thought you
Were going for a drive.
260
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,812
I did.
I drove to the airport.
261
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:55,515
Listen, will you tell woody
That I left his car
262
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,550
Outside
The united terminal...
263
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,852
Or american.
264
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,154
It doesn't really
Make any difference.
265
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:04,524
They all tow them
To the same place anyway.
266
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,026
Sam,
Is that miss howe?
267
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:09,029
Ask her if
She has my wallet.
268
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,031
I need
My driver's license.
269
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,333
Actually you don't have
To worry about that now.
270
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,869
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
271
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:18,038
I'm going home
To san diego.
272
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,007
I want to try
And forget boston.
273
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:23,476
I want to erase the last
Three years of my life.
274
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,611
It's been five, rebecca.
275
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,880
Has it been that long?
276
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,650
Hey, sam,
Does she have
My wallet?
277
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,352
You still have
Woody's wallet,
Don't you?
278
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:35,088
Yeah. How do you think
I'm paying for this call?
279
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,825
Hell, how do you think I'm
Paying for this flight?
280
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:40,427
Yeah. She still has it.
281
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,099
Honey, listen to me.
282
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,436
You can't run away from
Your problems like this.
283
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:52,605
The only reason I called
Was to say goodbye
284
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,407
And thank you
For everything.
285
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:57,044
It's really meant
A lot to me. Bye-bye.
286
00:12:57,044 --> 00:13:00,047
Oh, miss,
Did you remember
Your credit card?
287
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:02,382
Oh, yeah, thanks.
I'm going to need this.
288
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:05,953
I need to buy
A whole new wardrobe
When we land.
289
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,521
I'm going
To be good to myself.
290
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:20,033
As we recall
From monday's installment
291
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:23,103
Of a tale of two cities,
292
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:26,606
Sydney carton is about
To go to the guillotine
293
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,876
And sacrifice himself.
294
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,978
Guillotine--
Slice that neck.
295
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:36,816
When suddenly
An apache attack chopper
296
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,251
Hovered above
The guillotine...
297
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,821
Pumping hot lead
Into the crowd.
298
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,790
Get them frogs, huh?
299
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,059
As darnay climbed
Into the chopper,
300
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:49,062
Sweat streaming from
His blood-stained headband,
301
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:51,364
He could be heard
To mutter,
302
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:54,567
"It is a far,
Far better thing I do
303
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,369
"Than I have ever done.
304
00:13:56,369 --> 00:14:00,807
"It is a far, far better...
Butt-kicking I give...
305
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:04,844
Than I have ever
Butt-kicked."
306
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:05,845
All right.
307
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:06,846
Great.
308
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,748
What a book, huh?
309
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:11,551
What are you going
To read to us next?
310
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:14,854
Well, I was thinking
About david copperfield.
311
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,289
What's that about?
312
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,591
Well, it's
About these, uh...
313
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,861
Two coppers and this...
314
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,063
Field.
315
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:26,766
And they're found...
Dismembered
316
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,902
With their body parts
Switched.
317
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:34,007
Man, that dickens
Is one sick dude.
318
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,777
Have any of you guys
Heard from rebecca yet?
319
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:38,778
Not me.
320
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,147
Turn on the game.
321
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,848
No. Let's call her.
322
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,683
I got
Her parents' number.
323
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:46,987
Let's just tell her we're
Thinking about her
And that we care.
324
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,091
Aw, it's her parents' machine.
I hate these things.
325
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,660
I never know
What to say.
326
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,262
Hi.
This is sam from cheers.
327
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,264
This message
Is for rebecca.
328
00:14:57,264 --> 00:15:00,267
Hi, rebecca. We just wanted
To find out if you were ok
329
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,902
And tell you that
We miss you and I love you--
330
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,771
Whoa, sam.
What?
331
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,239
You love her?
332
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,775
No. I--I didn't say that.
333
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,243
Hold on a second.
334
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,779
No. I didn't say that.
335
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,315
I said we miss her
And we love her.
336
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:18,618
You said we miss her
And you love her.
337
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,620
But it was implied
That you miss her, too.
338
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:24,324
Shoot. I don't want her
To get the wrong impression.
339
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,826
Hi, rebecca, listen,
When I said that I love you,
340
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,628
I didn't mean love love.
341
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:32,332
I meant more like a friend,
A buddy, a pal,
342
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,700
Like a partner, you know,
343
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:37,570
Like the two cops
In david copperfield.
344
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,807
Ok, honey?
345
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,409
Well, anyway, bye-bye.
Wait!
346
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,910
Wait. Hold on.
347
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,212
That was
A little cold.
348
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,214
Listen, she's feeling
Kind of low.
349
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:50,483
You can't just kick her
When she's down like that.
350
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,854
Sweetheart, when
I said that I love you,
351
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,823
I meant that you're, uh,
352
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:59,059
A very important
Part of my life,
353
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:01,661
Along with a lot
Of other people.
354
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,864
It's like my life
Is this big jigsaw puzzle
355
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,367
And you're a very
Important part,
356
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:09,836
You know,
Like a corner piece.
357
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,271
Yeah, hold on.
358
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:13,140
I think the guys want
To say something. Go ahead.
359
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:15,675
Sammy loves you!
Sammy loves you!
360
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,287
Any of you guys tried
That new steakhouse?
On commonwealth?
361
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,088
No.
362
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,556
It's the greatest.
363
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,891
Beautiful waitresses in
Tiny little wench outfits.
364
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,593
What did
You have?
365
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:34,894
A beautiful waitress
366
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,896
In a tiny
Little wench outfit.
367
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,665
I'm going back, too.
368
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,868
Dr. Crane, when
Will you read us
More dickens?
369
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:42,969
Dickens!
370
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,304
Dickens!
371
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:46,706
Frasier, I'm impressed.
372
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,976
It seems your experiment
In cultural enrichment
373
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:51,844
Has been a success.
374
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,582
We're waiting for
Oliver twist--
The wrath of fagin.
375
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,585
Excuse me?
376
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:02,789
Darling, I've
Done some things
The past few weeks
377
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,557
I'm not
Very proud of.
378
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:08,561
Just...
Leave it alone.
379
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:11,931
Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!
380
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,933
Hey, guys.
381
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,635
Listen to this.
382
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:16,803
[beep]
383
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:19,606
Sam, this is rebecca.
I got your message.
384
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,441
Hearing your voice
Made me realize
385
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,676
What I'm missing
In my life.
386
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,079
I was such a fool
Not to have see it before.
387
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,747
My plane lands
At midnight tonight.
388
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:30,750
I'm coming straight
To the bar to see you.
389
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,919
So will you please,
Please wait for me?
390
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:35,955
[chortling]
391
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,558
What am I
Going to do?
392
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,760
I mean, do you think that
She's coming back here
393
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,895
Because I left that
Message on her machine?
394
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,731
Yeah.
395
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,933
Hey, will you be serious
For a minute?
396
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,535
Just once,
397
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,570
I'd like to have
A serious conversation
In this damn bar.
398
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,972
Do you really think
That she's rushing back
399
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:55,041
Because I said,
"I love you"?
400
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,376
Hmm, yeah.
401
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,312
Yeah, what
Do you know?
402
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,481
I'm going to talk
To somebody
403
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,150
Who knows something
Around here.
404
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,484
What do you think?
405
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:07,320
You're dead meat
On a stick.
406
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,955
No, I'm not dead meat
On a stick,
407
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,757
And even if she
Does think that,
408
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,992
I've handled lots
Of love-crazed babes
409
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,328
Who wanted to become
Mrs. Sam malone.
410
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,964
I've got dozens of ways
Of handling that.
411
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,999
Even if
They all don't work,
412
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,668
I still have plan "Z."
413
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,971
What's, uh,
Plan "Z" there, sam?
414
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,339
Never you mind.
415
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:28,341
It's pretty drastic,
I'll admit,
416
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:31,211
But I'll use it
If I have to.
417
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,012
I don't want
The same woman
418
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:35,515
Hanging onto me
The rest of my life.
419
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:39,352
Can you imagine how creepy
That would be, frasier?
420
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:50,630
I'll answer
That question
Another time.
421
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,741
Ok, just wait outside
And come running in
422
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,944
When you see
The lights flash.
Right.
423
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,879
Carla, sammy
Will not tell us.
424
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,648
What is
This plan "Z"?
425
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:12,151
Tell you everything I know
For 20 bucks each.
426
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,355
Yeah, all right.
427
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,629
It's called plan "Z."
428
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,397
When sammy
Flashes the lights,
429
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,634
This guy leon
Comes in and executes it.
430
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:32,639
Yeah, but what is
Plan "Z"?
431
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:33,773
Beats me.
432
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,908
I didn't know that much
Two minutes ago.
433
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,910
Give me the money.
434
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,886
I think
It was worth it.
435
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:47,854
Oh, yeah.
436
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,460
Sam, it seems to me
437
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:56,463
You're going through
An awful lot
Of machinations
438
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:57,930
To avoid
Dealing honestly
439
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,432
And directly
With rebecca.
440
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:01,234
Well, that's me--
Always thinking.
441
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:05,238
Besides, I don't think we'll
Have to use plan "Z" here.
442
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:06,739
What are we talking
About? We're talking
About rebecca.
443
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:09,409
What's the worst
She can do?
444
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:12,645
Sam, I hope you're ready
To change your life,
445
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:13,746
Because I am.
446
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,883
Uh, can you excuse me
Just a second?
447
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,954
Sam, why are you
Flashing the lights?
448
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,624
Oh, you know, it's just
Kind of to welcome you back,
449
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,826
Like three cheers!
Hey, rebecca's back!
450
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,295
Rebecca's back!
451
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:30,730
Sam, get over here.
Quit being silly.
452
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,833
I have to ask you
Something really important.
453
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,771
Will you
Sell me this bar?
454
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,206
No. What?
455
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:41,641
Cheers. I want
To run cheers.
456
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:42,975
Running this place
Was the only time
457
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,477
I ever felt
Like somebody.
458
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,245
You know, people
Looked up to me.
459
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,580
Who?
460
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:53,185
You mean you didn't
Come back here
To marry sam?
461
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:56,523
Marry sam? Why
Would you think that?
462
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:57,957
You didn't think that,
Did you?
463
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,259
Shoot, no.
464
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:03,062
That's why you've
Been doing all this
Weird stuff,
465
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,332
Because you think
I came back here
To marry you?
466
00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:06,866
What weird stuff?
467
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:10,870
I can't keep
Living a lie, sam.
468
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,672
No. No, leon. No.
469
00:21:20,747 --> 00:21:23,282
Sam is my lover.
470
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,685
Boy, you...
471
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:28,688
You really did think
I was after you.
472
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,823
I can't
Believe this.
473
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:33,292
You're a wussy
Little 'fraidy cat.
474
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,895
I'm not a wussy
Little 'fraidy cat.
475
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,430
Then this is real.
476
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:40,433
You and leon
Are lovers.
477
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:43,302
Well, why don't you
Give leon a kiss
Then?
478
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:48,708
Because we've been
Together for 14 years
479
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:50,843
And we're no longer
Demonstrative.
480
00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:58,451
You know,
The spark's gone.
481
00:21:58,451 --> 00:21:59,719
I'm sorry, leon.
482
00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:02,455
I probably should have
Said something sooner.
483
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:05,257
No. Sam, you can't
Have it both ways.
484
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:08,260
You either
Give leon a kiss
485
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:09,996
On his lips
486
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:14,667
Or you admit that
You are a wussy
Little 'fraidy cat.
487
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,469
Sammy, don't let her
Make you look
488
00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:18,471
Like a wussy
Little 'fraidy cat.
489
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:21,708
I'm not a wussy
Little 'fraidy cat.
490
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:23,876
Meow!
Come on.
Meow!
491
00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:31,884
Sorry about that,
Leon.
492
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:35,087
You realize I'm gonna have
To slug you in the face now?
493
00:22:35,087 --> 00:22:36,689
I wish you would.
494
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:41,494
We still on
For golf thursday?
495
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:42,762
Yeah, you bet.
496
00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:43,863
Great.
497
00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:46,966
Oh, ow.
498
00:22:46,966 --> 00:22:48,300
That hurts.
499
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,169
Sammy, look at you.
500
00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:51,571
Your nose
Is bleeding.
501
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,305
Your eye's
Starting to swell.
502
00:22:53,305 --> 00:22:54,907
You just
Kissed a man.
503
00:22:57,109 --> 00:23:00,046
But you're not
A wussy little
'fraidy cat.
504
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,181
No, not sammy.
505
00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:03,483
Good boy.
506
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:06,786
You know, in the space
Of the last 30 seconds,
507
00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:08,855
We have witnessed deceit,
508
00:23:08,855 --> 00:23:10,723
Sexual turmoil,
509
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,792
And sudden,
Senseless violence.
510
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:16,328
It puts me in mind
Of a passage from...
511
00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:18,898
The pickwick papers.
35806
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