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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,271
Woody harrelson:
"Cheers" is filmed
2
00:00:03,271 --> 00:00:04,505
Before a live studio audience.
3
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,940
Oh, here's sam.
4
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,443
Oh, come on, sammy.
Open up. It's freezing.
5
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:10,944
Hey, what are you guys
Standing around for?
6
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,446
How come somebody
Didn't let you in?
7
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:13,947
I left my keys home.
8
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,449
Oh, no. I was
Counting on yours.
9
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,451
I left mine
In the office.
Hurry up. It's cold.
10
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,620
Well, how are we
Gonna get in here?
Morning, everybody.
11
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,122
Norm!
Norm!
Norm!
12
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,623
[keys clank]
13
00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,558
Sorry I'm late.
14
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,902
* sometimes
You want to go *
15
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:38,539
* where everybody
Knows your name *
16
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:43,744
* and they're always
Glad you came *
17
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,515
* you want to be
Where you can see *
18
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:50,084
* our troubles
Are all the same *
19
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,252
* you want to go *
20
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:54,388
* where everybody
Knows your name *
21
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:15,676
Sorry I took so long
Getting here
This morning.
22
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:18,679
Sam, you know, this is
The fourth time this week
That you've been late.
23
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:21,349
As a responsible
Businessman and
The owner of this bar,
24
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,951
You owe it to yourself to
Stick to a more responsible
Schedule, you know.
25
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,453
Absolutely.
26
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:28,456
If the post office ran
Its business the way
You run yours...
27
00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:30,391
Never mind.
28
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:33,861
Hey, everybody.
29
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,863
Hey, woody.
You won't believe this.
30
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,532
I just found out
That on cable tv,
31
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,535
They have this channel
Where they show you stuff
And you can buy it
32
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:45,406
Any hour of the day,
Any day of the week.
33
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:49,143
How did we live before?
Yeah, yeah.
34
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,145
The home shopping channel.
Mom loves it.
35
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:53,080
She's always watching it.
She's always saying,
36
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,083
"If I had a rich son, he'd
Buy me this." "If I had a
Rich son, he'd buy me that."
37
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,252
Who do you think bought her
The tv in the first place?
38
00:01:58,252 --> 00:01:59,820
You, cliffie?
No.
39
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:03,324
But if I find the guy,
I'm gonna shove that
Clicker down his throat.
40
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:06,360
Look at this.
I already got
My first package.
41
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,828
Yeah?
42
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,830
Huh?
43
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,832
It's a toy car,
44
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:15,269
And it also
Rewinds videotapes.
45
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,507
Now, wouldn't a vcr
Rewind tapes?
46
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:23,010
Uh, not the one
I bought last night.
47
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:27,147
Excuse me. Carla, did
You read my last memo?
48
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,183
No.
Well, if you
Had read it,
49
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:32,353
You would know that
We are no longer accepting
Timecards made out in pencil.
50
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:35,489
From now on, all paperwork
Must be done in ink.
51
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,491
Ok.
52
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,493
Did you hear me?
53
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,994
Are you
Acknowledging my memo?
54
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,231
I heard you.
I acknowledge
The damn memo.
55
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,733
Now would you get out
Of my face so I can
Finish this timecard?
56
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,735
I mean, this isn't easy,
You know.
57
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,637
My pencil's
Almost down to the nub.
58
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:54,342
Well, as long as you're
Aware of the problem.
59
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,911
All right.
60
00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:00,013
That's something, huh, norm?
Remember the good old days?
61
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:03,517
When you used to be able
To take an argument
Like that between two gals
62
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,819
And turn them into
The jets and the sharks?
63
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,390
Tell you what, cliffie.
64
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,893
For you, I got to
Tee it up one more time.
65
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,329
All right.
Watch this.
66
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,400
Rebecca, uh...
67
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,902
I noticed
Your little exchange
With carla over there,
68
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,405
And I have to say,
I admire your
Management technique.
69
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,374
Thank you
Very much, norm.
70
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:29,377
It takes a lot
Of courage, you know,
To humiliate yourself
71
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,879
Just for the well-being
Of one employee.
72
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,882
If you were a japanese
Businessman, I mean,
To lose face like that,
73
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:38,386
You'd probably have
To commit some sort of
Ritual suicide, you know?
74
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:39,887
But here in america--
75
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,889
Carla, come
In my office.
76
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,392
Bring that timecard
And a pen.
77
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:47,328
I better be
Getting a raise.
78
00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:52,900
Oh, the master returns
79
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,470
From his triumphal march
Through the valley of evil.
80
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,072
I got a raise.
81
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,343
Frasier, darling.
82
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,877
Today is
Our monthly luncheon
83
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:07,381
With the psychoanalytic
And social therapeutic
Practitioners society.
84
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:08,816
Have you forgotten?
85
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,784
Well, let me finish
This double,
And I might.
86
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,920
Now, doctor.
87
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,988
Well, lilith,
I really can't stand
88
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:17,057
Another dry,
Endless luncheon
89
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,092
In some stuffy
Old restaurant.
90
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,594
Pretty boring,
Huh, frase?
91
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,095
Well, let me put it
This way, sam.
92
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,597
Lilith is
The dorothy parker
93
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,098
Of this particular
Round table.
94
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,100
Come on, frasier,
Let's go.
95
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,570
All right, but I
Won't enjoy it.
96
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,572
Hey, norm, go ahead,
Make them fight.
97
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,073
No, you do it.
Come on.
98
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,575
Me?
Yeah.
Hey, frase!
99
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,577
You think carla should be
Filling out the timecard
100
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,579
With a pen or a pencil?
101
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:42,249
I can see why you can't
Tear yourself away
From this place.
102
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:46,854
All right. All right.
So I'm not you.
103
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,856
Cliffie, come on now.
Buck up, buddy.
104
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,858
You're just
Warming up here.
105
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,860
You got to start out
With an easy one
First, huh?
106
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,895
Yeah.
Look. There's paul.
107
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,697
Hey, paul--
Shut up, fathead.
108
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:06,340
Hey, guys.
109
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,744
Look what I just got
On the shopping channel.
110
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:16,249
Now, there's only
About 2,000 of these
Little babies left,
111
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:19,353
So...A word
To the wise.
112
00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:26,259
Well?
113
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:27,761
That's, uh...
114
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,763
That's beautiful,
Woody.
115
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,099
That's a beautiful cow.
116
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,601
Yeah.
117
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:36,604
I'll say. And that's not
The best part of it.
118
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:39,440
It's also a great clock.
119
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,275
It's noo-oon.
120
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,049
What, um,
121
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,552
What happens
If it's 7:00?
122
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:54,054
Well, a cow's
Powers of speech
123
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,223
Are kind of limited,
You know.
124
00:05:56,223 --> 00:06:01,061
Everything kind of
Sounds like "Noo-oon."
125
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,464
How do you
Ever know
What time it is?
126
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,265
Well, it helps
To wear a watch.
127
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,307
I think it's, um...
128
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,309
I think it's nice,
Woody.
129
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,245
Really?
Yeah.
130
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,949
It's yours.
131
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:24,452
Oh, no, woody.
132
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,754
I--I--
I real--I couldn't.
Miss howe,
133
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:29,490
I've been
To your apartment.
Take the cow.
134
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:34,261
I know you fellows
Favor a more formal
Atmosphere,
135
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,997
But allow me to
Charm you with the
Quaint hospitality
136
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,199
Of my friendly
Neighborhood tavern.
137
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,669
Excuse me, frasier.
I have to go check
My messages.
138
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,671
You got one
From madame tussaud.
139
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:45,606
Get back
To the museum.
140
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:50,010
Champagne
For everyone, sam.
141
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,144
Oh.
142
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,146
I'm trying to convince
My esteemed colleagues
143
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,982
To move
Their monthly meetings
144
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:56,517
To your
Fine establishment.
145
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,185
Oh, hey, thanks.
That's great.
146
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:00,621
Uh, my, uh...
Gold card
147
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:04,124
Should keep the, um...
The bubbly flowing.
148
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:08,996
Cliffie, the master
Has a thought.
Yes?
149
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,998
One might wonder
What would happen
150
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:14,001
If we called a certain
Credit card company
151
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,003
And reported
That number as stolen.
152
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,506
Then when
A certain bartender
153
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:21,509
Tried to put it through
For a certain customer
154
00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:23,511
And it wasn't honored,
155
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,513
What do you suppose
Would happen?
156
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,014
I don't know.
157
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,015
Major fireworks.
158
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,517
Oh, you're a genius.
159
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,519
Why do you
Put up with me?
160
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:33,453
I don't know.
161
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,390
Frasier,
I have to leave.
162
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,292
There's been
An emergency.
163
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,628
Is it frederick?
No, no.
164
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,630
Otto my lab assistant
Has gotten into
165
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,632
The synthetic
Hormones again.
166
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,634
I have to bail him out.
167
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:49,903
Or her. I won't know
Until I get there.
168
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,339
Oh, no.
169
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,943
Miss howe, look what
I found in the trash.
170
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,745
It's your cow.
171
00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:00,213
Oh, dear, how could that
Have gotten in there?
172
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,682
Sam?
173
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:05,285
You told me
To throw it away.
174
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:07,921
So, the paranoid says...
175
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,259
"Help! Help! They're
All out to get me."
176
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,369
I guess you had
To be in the session.
177
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,006
Dr. Crane, can
I speak to you
For a minute?
178
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,741
Oh, of course, sam.
179
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,242
Got a little
Problem here.
180
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,744
I called to get
Approval on your
Credit card here,
181
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,912
And they told me
It was stolen.
182
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,446
Well, that's utterly
Ludicrous, sam.
183
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:34,948
Well, yeah, that's
What I told them,
184
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,150
But they insisted
That it's stolen.
185
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,653
Yes, I knocked myself
Over the head and stole
My own credit card.
186
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,589
That's brilliant, sam.
Who would ever suspect me?
187
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:43,090
I'm not kidding here.
188
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,593
You know,
They're very serious
About their rules.
189
00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,427
They tell me that I have
To cut this up.
190
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:49,162
But you wouldn't, sam.
191
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,463
I don't want to, no.
192
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:54,467
Tell you what, um...
Why don't I run
A tab, huh?
193
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,837
Well, I don't need a tab.
That's a perfectly
Good card.
194
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,839
Well, why don't I just--
This is on the house,
All right?
195
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,274
Oh, fine. Now you're
Adding insult to injury.
196
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,710
Well, I don't take
Charity!
197
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,044
Just give me back
My card!
198
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,879
I can't give you back
The card, frasier.
199
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,381
I got to cut it up
And send the pieces
Back to the company.
200
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,217
[scoffs]
You do not have
To do that.
201
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,219
Yes, I do.
202
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:14,221
They spent
A half an hour
On just that fact
203
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,522
At the seminar
At the sheraton.
204
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,760
Sam, I am telling you,
You do not have
To do that!
205
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,929
You weren't
At the seminar.
If I don't do this,
206
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,931
They're gonna take
My little card
Thingy away.
207
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:27,467
Sam, I am not asking you.
I am telling you.
Give me back my card!
208
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,302
Don't take that tone
Of voice with me.
Excuse me.
Can I help?
209
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:33,741
I have a card
That works.
Oh, shut up, you
Skinnerian baboon!
210
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:36,476
Sam! Do not touch
Those scissors
To that card!
211
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:37,577
I got to do it,
Frasier.
212
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,545
You do not!
Yes, I--
213
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,180
Ohh! Ohh!
214
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:46,253
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
215
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,089
I'll tell you what.
Here, take my
Credit card.
216
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,590
Oh, fine.
217
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,592
With your
$90 credit limit
218
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,327
I can go hog-wild
At monkey ward's.
219
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,098
You have made me
Look the fool!
220
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,934
I think you've
Taken care of that all
By yourself, frasier!
221
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,436
Oh, so it's come
To this, has it?
222
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,938
After years
Of friendship,
223
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,440
You proudly pour
A tall cup of humiliation.
224
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,342
Well, I've had
Enough, thank you.
225
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:10,510
This is good-bye.
226
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,846
You have seen and heard
The last of frasier crane.
227
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:16,349
From this moment forward,
I am never stepping foot
In this bar again.
228
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:19,787
I close the iron door
Upon you!
229
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:24,191
What do we do now,
Oh, master?
230
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:27,127
Shut up, and stop
Calling me master.
231
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:37,104
Anyone hear from frasier
Since yesterday?
232
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,939
He'll be back.
Don't worry
About it.
233
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,941
I don't know.
He left here pretty angry.
234
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:44,177
I mean, I keep calling
The house, and the machine
Keeps picking up.
235
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,946
Oh, lilith answers?
236
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:49,516
He's blowing off steam.
He'll be back.
237
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:50,984
I hope so.
238
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:55,622
Well, ahem.
I guess we really
Messed up, huh?
239
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,124
Learned our lesson,
Cliff.
240
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,626
We got to
Stop messing
With people's minds.
241
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,061
Yeah, I agree.
242
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,130
By the way, your
Fly's open, buddy.
243
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,297
Yeah. So's yours.
244
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,800
Hey.
Hey.
245
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:12,005
You can't expect a guy
To go cold turkey,
You know? Ha ha ha!
246
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,774
Miss howe?
247
00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:16,844
Last night
The shopping channel
248
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,345
Was a consumer bonanza,
249
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,347
And I took
Advantage of it.
250
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,349
Their loss is your gain.
251
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,351
First, I got you
252
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:28,621
A genuine
Gold-look bracelet
With 200 real sapphires.
253
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:32,125
Oh, woody,
First of all, you have
To stop buying me gifts.
254
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:35,929
And second of all,
You have to learn
That sapphires are blue.
255
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:38,999
Ok, but you can't say no
256
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,001
To a new
And improved snackmaster
257
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:45,572
And a portable
Solar-powered telephone.
258
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,574
Woody, I cannot
Accept these.
259
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,642
People are going
To get the wrong idea.
260
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,879
What, that I have
A crush on you?
261
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,481
No. That I like crap.
262
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,222
What, you're calling
This stuff crap?
263
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,723
I'm sorry, woody.
264
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,726
No, no,
I was looking for
The right word.
265
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,728
Well, if you don't
Like it, either,
266
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,330
Why do you keep
Buying this stuff?
267
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,833
Not stuff,
Miss howe. Crap.
268
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,404
I buy it because
It looks good on tv.
269
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:20,573
The second
They flash that 800
Number, I'm dialing.
270
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,076
Woody, this has
Got to stop.
271
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,978
Well, it has
Stopped, miss howe.
272
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:28,148
I went over
My credit limit
With this...Crap.
273
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,219
Unless, of course,
You'd care
To advance me
274
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,620
Six months
On my paycheck.
275
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:36,223
Could be
Another necklace
In it for you,
276
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:40,227
And if you decide
Not to give me
The advance,
277
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:43,063
Just keep
The necklace
As your free gift.
278
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,466
Woody...
279
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,969
You are hooked.
Listen to me.
You need help.
280
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,905
I don't need help!
I just need
More credit!
281
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,977
You're right,
Miss howe.
282
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,511
I do need help.
283
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,948
I'm scared.
284
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,017
Help me.
285
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,652
Hurry.
286
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:08,088
Act now.
287
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,029
Well, I just got
In touch with frasier.
288
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,031
Oh, yeah?
What did he say?
289
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,667
Oh, he said that
He considers these
Phone calls a harassment.
290
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:24,004
If I don't cease
And desist, he's going
To get a court order
291
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:27,074
Restraining me from coming
Within 50 feet of him.
292
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:29,576
Restraining order.
293
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:33,513
Last resort of shrinks
And housewives in nightgowns.
294
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,619
Come on, cliffie.
295
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:42,122
We got to stop this
Before it gets
Any further.
296
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:45,125
We got to go
To frasier, tell him
Exactly what happened.
297
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,627
Accept all blame,
And the sooner
The better.
298
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,629
Yeah, you're right.
Wait a minute.
299
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,498
What?
I just thought
Of something.
300
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,001
What's that?
If we wait,
Like, a couple of hours,
301
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,836
It'll be dinnertime.
Might be able to snag
A free meal.
302
00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:00,507
You are the master,
O salaam.
303
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:09,049
Now, this is lovely.
304
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,551
The baby's
With my mother,
And there's nothing
305
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,553
To disturb
Our peaceful eden.
306
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,322
You're right,
Darling. Nothing.
307
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:18,325
Except for
The burned-in image of sam,
308
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:22,562
Cutting my gold card
Into pieces before
My very eyes.
309
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,899
Frasier, you've got
To stop this cycle
Of negativity.
310
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:29,402
Come. Let's try some
Positive imagery.
311
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,305
You're back in maui.
312
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:36,243
Feel the trade winds
Caressing
Your cheeks,
313
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:38,745
Ruffling your hair.
314
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,748
Smell the plumeria.
315
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,517
Taste the mai tai.
316
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,922
Feel the gentle
Swaying...
317
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,924
Swaying...
318
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,360
Of the ancient
Palms.
319
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,430
The rhythm,
320
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,599
The rhythm,
321
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,568
The rhythm.
322
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,637
Are you there?
323
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,573
Yes, I'm there.
324
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:11,344
I'm in paradise,
325
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:15,848
And I'm paying
For the whole shebang
With my gold card,
326
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:20,353
Which was gladly
Accepted and returned
In one piece
327
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:23,190
By a man
In a flowered sarong!
328
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:25,192
Frasier, get a grip.
329
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,694
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
330
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:31,198
You know,
Sam's done me
A favor, actually.
331
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:33,366
Instead of spending
The night there
332
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,867
In his
Sleazy saloon,
333
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,504
I'm--I'm at home
Here with my love.
334
00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:40,040
I'm going
To serenade you.
335
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,310
Why, frasier, you haven't
Done that since...
336
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,880
Have you
Ever done that?
337
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,383
Well, I'm
Doing it now.
338
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:53,886
Remember this one,
Darling?
339
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:56,423
How could I forget?
340
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:59,426
* autumn
In new york *
* moonlight
In vermont *
341
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:00,860
You sing it.
342
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,965
* autumn in new york *
343
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:11,004
* what makes it
Seem so exciting? *
344
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:13,640
* autumn in new york *
345
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:18,178
* it spells the thrill
Of first nighting *
346
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:25,585
It was
A lovely honeymoon,
Wasn't it?
347
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:29,089
I bought this piano
With my gold card.
348
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,091
I mean, yes, dear.
349
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,093
[doorbell rings]
350
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,028
I'll get it.
351
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,136
Hi, lilith.
Cliff, norm.
352
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,438
Frasier,
It's cliff and norm.
353
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:46,773
Well, good night,
Gentlemen.
354
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:49,376
I've suddenly developed
A splitting migraine.
355
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,449
Norm, cliff,
What a pleasure
To see
356
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,951
My boon companions
Here in my home.
Come in, come in.
357
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,953
Yeah, well,
Frase, look
We don't want
358
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:02,955
To interrupt
Your dinner or
Anything like that.
359
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,757
Oh, no. We finished
Hours ago.
360
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:07,260
Yeah, nice shortcut,
Cliff.
361
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:10,263
I see that you
Left the butcher
362
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,265
Of all things
Plastic
Back in the bar
363
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:13,766
To come visit
Old frasier.
364
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,768
Yeah, yeah.
Frase, uh...
365
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,771
Just out of curiosity,
What did you have
For dinner?
366
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,773
Uh, let me guess.
Let me...
367
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,742
[sniffs]
Ah!
368
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,145
Porterhouse steak
Smothered
With mushrooms,
369
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,147
Green beans
With sliced almonds,
370
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:30,650
Some apple brown
Betty and, uh...
371
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,652
Decaf cappuccino.
372
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,955
Well, actually, we had
Chinese brought in.
373
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:41,027
I guess it must
Be in my coat.
374
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,563
Look here. Come.
Come and sit down.
375
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,565
You know,
I can't tell you
How special this is.
376
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,568
We never seem to
Get together outside of
That infernal bar.
377
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,903
Never get together
Just as pals.
Yeah, whatever.
378
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,905
Frase, you don't
Have any chinese
Left, do you?
379
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,507
No, sorry.
Norm, norm.
380
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:57,510
We've come here to talk
About a topic a lot more
Important than food.
381
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,580
Found an almond cookie!
382
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,450
If you're here
To try to patch up
My relationship
383
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,452
With mr. Malone,
Just forget it.
384
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,719
Give me half,
Will ya, cliff?
385
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,221
I tell you,
I have seen the last
386
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,157
Of that ex-jock
In a pompadour.
387
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:13,226
Frasier, you got to let us
Explain what happened here.
388
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:16,229
Frase, um, you see...
389
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,731
Sometimes guys...
390
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:21,734
Do things, you know,
Which they think
391
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:25,638
Seem like...
A good idea at the time,
392
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:28,708
But they're really
Not such a good idea.
393
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,411
I guess what I'm
Trying to say is--
394
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,913
That sam wants me to
Come back to cheers
395
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,915
So that he can get
Down on his knees
396
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:38,084
And apologize
To me in public
And in person?
397
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:40,487
Yeah,
That's even better.
398
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,021
Great. Come on,
Let's go.
399
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:44,457
All right.
400
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,930
Sammy,
Don't drop down
401
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,432
On your knees to beg
For forgiveness
402
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,434
Till he's all
The way through
The door,
403
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,835
But look who's here.
404
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,870
Hey! You brought
Frasier back.
405
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,206
Yeah.
See, now,
406
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,707
Now if we can
Just get them to
Erase everything
407
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:03,276
From their memories
From the last 36 hours,
We're home free.
408
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,846
I'm waiting, sam.
409
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:09,616
Waiting for what?
410
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,784
Sammy, don't torture
Your friend.
411
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,787
Frasier just
Swallowed his pride
To come back in here
412
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,123
So get down on your
Knees and beg him
To forgive you,
413
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:19,125
And then we can
Start celebrating.
414
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,627
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
415
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:21,794
Oh, thanks, sam.
416
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,029
That's what
We like to see.
417
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,031
Yeah, I bet you
Nobody even remembers
418
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:28,000
What started
This silly argument
In the first place.
419
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,903
I do. Sam cut up
His gold card.
420
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,942
That was funny.
421
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,912
Woody, come on.
We're--you know, I
Apologized for that.
422
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,914
We're beyond that
Right now.
423
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,416
Is that it?
424
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,118
That is the sum total
Of your contrition?
425
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:49,121
I mean, I know you're not
Walt whitman, sam,
But I mean, really.
426
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:53,192
A couple of more "Uhs"
And "You knows" to at least
Lend it a little credibility.
427
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,695
Well, you didn't
Let me finish, frasier.
I was going to say
428
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,698
That I'm sorry
That you were such
A big jerk yesterday
429
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,033
And that you're
Such a big baby today!
430
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,669
Well, that tears it!
431
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,671
When I walk out this time,
Believe me when I tell you
432
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:06,673
That I will never
Brighten this door again!
433
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:09,676
Wait, wait, wait.
Frasier, frasier,
Wait a minute.
434
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:12,679
Before this thing
Gets any further,
Come on now.
435
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,681
Sit down, relax.
I think it's time
436
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:19,252
That both of you guys
Understand the truth.
437
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:20,987
Cliffie?
438
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:28,761
Well, frase, see,
Yesterday normie and I,
439
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:32,265
We were feeling
A little frisky and
As sort of a gag, we, uh,
440
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:36,369
Made a phone call
And reported your
Credit card s-stolen.
441
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:39,739
My god, cliff,
That is fraud!
442
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,343
You think
You know a guy, sam!
443
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,244
Damn it, norm.
Come on.
444
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,747
All right, all right,
All right.
445
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,850
I may have been
In the vicinity
446
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:53,353
During
That phone call.
447
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:56,188
I think I might
Have actually
Dialed the number.
448
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:59,191
So it's your fault.
449
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:01,193
Sam, I owe you
An apology.
450
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,696
No, no.
I had no idea.
451
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:07,700
Boy, you guys are
Really stirring
It up, aren't you?
452
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,338
Ok, fellas,
453
00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,005
Give me your credit
Cards right now.
454
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:14,507
What?
Come on.
455
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,709
Give me
Your credit cards.
456
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,110
You can't cut them up.
457
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,447
I'm not going
To cut them up.
458
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,449
Don't cut
Them up, sam.
459
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:25,017
Woody, you're
Back in business.
Shop away there.
460
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,619
Oh, no!
All right!
461
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:29,389
Get the scissors
And cut them right now!
34273
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