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1
00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:04,338
"Cheers"Is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,607
Here you go.
3
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:07,675
Hey.
4
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,143
Something wrong?
5
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,578
Yeah, I'll say.
6
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:13,147
You didn't ask me
If I needed
Anything else.
7
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,083
Do you see this row
Of dollar bills here?
8
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:17,151
Yeah.
This is your tip.
9
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,087
I've set it aside
In advance.
10
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,788
Now, here's the deal--
11
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,257
Every time
You do something wrong,
12
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,526
I take
A dollar bill, see?
13
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:28,329
That way I get decent
Service, understood?
14
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:31,432
Fair enough.
Here's my deal for you.
15
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,634
Every time
You take away a dollar,
16
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,703
I do this.
17
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:40,608
That just cost you
Another dollar.
18
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,714
There, you happy?
Your tip money's
All gone.
19
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:50,651
Well, that's just great,
'cause I just got my own.
20
00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:00,561
So, uh, how long's
Your brother
21
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,063
Going to be in town?
22
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,666
Two weeks.
23
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,973
*making your way
In the world today *
24
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,144
* takes everything you got *
25
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,812
* taking a break
From all your worries *
26
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,615
* sure would help a lot *
27
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:26,354
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
28
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:30,458
* sometimes
You want to go *
29
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:35,229
* where everybody
Knows your name *
30
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:39,600
* and they're always
Glad you came *
31
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:42,470
* you want to be
Where you can see *
32
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,872
* our troubles
Are all the same *
33
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,607
* you want to be *
34
00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:50,711
* where everybody
Knows your name *
35
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,846
* you want to go
Where people know *
36
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,416
* people are all the same *
37
00:01:55,483 --> 00:02:01,255
* you want to go
Where everybody
Knows your name *
38
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:22,543
I would like to nominate
39
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:25,012
As the stupidest creature
On earth,
40
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,047
The one who awakens each day
41
00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:29,350
To drive through
Gridlocked traffic
42
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:32,019
To sit in
A windowless office,
43
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,321
Breathing recirculated air,
44
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,389
Then returns home
And collapses into a stupor,
45
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:38,759
Only to do the same damn
Thing over and over again
Every day until he dies.
46
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,361
Looking forward
To that vacation,
Eh, fras?
47
00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:42,530
You bet.
We're going to maui.
48
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,466
Sam: aah!
49
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,735
Still having problems
With the computer, sammy?
50
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:51,672
No, I think
I figured out
What to do.
51
00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:54,742
Ahh, kiss
Your keyboard
Good-bye.
52
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,578
Sam! Sam. Sam.
Give me the bat.
Come sit down.
53
00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:01,148
Now, I'm sure that lilith
Would be delighted
54
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,683
To help you
With your computer.
55
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:05,152
She tells me she has
Quite an affinity
For machines.
56
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,787
Naturally, you could
Have knocked me over
With a feather.
57
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,657
What is it with these
Machines, anyway?
58
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,293
Computers, faxes,
Voice mail?
59
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,628
You know, when I ran
This place in the old days,
60
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:15,929
I had everything
I needed right up here.
61
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,065
Brain, sam?
62
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:20,901
No, good hair.
Brains. Psshh.
63
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,036
I'm serious, you know.
64
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,038
Good looks
Can open doors.
65
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,641
Good hair blows them
Off the hinges.
66
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:32,980
Sammy, what are you
Going to do about
The computer?
67
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,715
Rebecca's going to come
Over here and fix it.
68
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,817
I just have to wait
Until she shows up.
69
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,887
What about the auto show, sam?
Don't you want to go see
The new models?
70
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:42,290
That's all right.
I know where
They're staying, wood.
71
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:45,626
Uh, sammy,
We're out
Of pretzels.
72
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:46,794
Oh.
73
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,096
Sorry.
74
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,064
Hey, we're out of pretzels.
75
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:54,001
I think that's what
I meant when I said
We were out of pretzels.
76
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,036
Sorry I was
So cryptic before.
77
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,839
I don't understand this,
We're supposed to get
A big shipment today.
78
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,809
I mean, I ordered 20 bags
From the distributor.
79
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:05,646
I mean, I even faxed it
On rebecca's stupid fax machine.
80
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,681
Oh, well.
81
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,982
Oh, well?
82
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,250
Sammy, there are
Those of us who
Need their pretzels.
83
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:11,785
Come on.
84
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,021
What am I supposed to do,
Go down to the grocery store
85
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,523
And buy you some?
86
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,791
And get some
Beer nuts, too.
These are antiques.
87
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:21,228
You know, I have a yen
For some cheese doodles.
88
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:24,097
Hey, uh, sammy,
While you're out there,
89
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,667
Will you pick up
Some cough syrup?
I've got a little tickle.
90
00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:28,802
All right, fine,
I'm going to do
This once, you guys.
91
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:32,039
But you got to remember,
I'm supposed to be
The boss around here,
92
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,575
Not your errand boy.
Feed my meter.
93
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:40,348
I've got those 20 bags
Of cement you ordered.
94
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,582
What? 20 bags
Of cement?
95
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,250
I ordered 20 bags
Of pretzels.
96
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:46,153
I faxed my order
To amalgamated
Snack foods.
97
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:50,491
Oh, yeah, we often
Intercept their orders
So we can push cement.
98
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:52,893
Maybe what happened
Is I faxed it
To the wrong company.
99
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,061
Oh, it happens all the time.
100
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,529
So you'll take it
Back for me?
101
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,264
Nope. You still got
To pay for it.
102
00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,232
Good thing it happens
All the time.
103
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,069
Here, sign here.
I'll get the rest of it.
104
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,838
I don't have time
To do this. I have more
Important things going on.
105
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:07,708
Hey, do something
With this cement.
106
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,276
Sure thing, sam.
107
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,678
Oh, listen,
While you're out,
108
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,513
Can you pick up
Some aggregate,
A water trough,
109
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,782
A shovel,
And a wheelbarrow.
110
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:20,554
Now, what am I
Going to build?
111
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:28,996
All right,
Here you go,
You clowns.
112
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:32,833
Cheese doodles.
113
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,868
Beer nuts.
114
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,270
Pretzels.
115
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,140
Uh, where's
The cough syrup, sam?
116
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,443
Oh. I knew
I forgot something.
117
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:44,645
Jeez, sam,
The tickles just
Don't go away
118
00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:47,381
By themselves, you know.
119
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,916
I'm sorry.
120
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,384
Oh, man, I know
121
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:53,887
It's going to get in my ears.
I just know it.
122
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,890
Sam, I believe
I ordered
Cheese doodles,
123
00:05:56,957 --> 00:06:01,662
Not imitation
Puffed cheese food.
124
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:04,598
So I got the plain wrap.
What's the difference?
125
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:08,702
"Can also be used
As packing material."
126
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,871
See? It's efficient, too.
127
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:13,106
"Keep out of the reach
Of children."
128
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:15,443
You know, sammy,
129
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,977
You shouldn't have to
Cut corners like this.
130
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,579
If you're having
Money problems,
131
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:19,947
Maybe we can help.
132
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,782
Come here, you guys.
133
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:24,652
Listen, you remember
That raise I gave you guys
134
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,853
A couple of weeks ago?
135
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,621
How much does it
Really mean to you?
136
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:30,190
More than
My children's lives.
137
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:33,126
Ok, carla gets
To keep her raise.
138
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:36,897
What do you say, woody?
139
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,800
Well, I suppose I can put it
Off a couple of months
140
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,234
If it would help.
Oh, yeah.
141
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:42,703
Thanks, man,
You're a brick.
142
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,638
In return
For this concession,
143
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,306
I think
The group medical plan
144
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,109
Should be expanded
To include dental.
145
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,080
I'm just barely keeping
My head above water here.
146
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,482
What are you doing to me?
147
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,984
You're acting like
Selfish, greedy leeches.
148
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,652
Well, why should we
Work here then, huh?
149
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:01,855
Because we're family,
Honey.
150
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:05,292
Why is everybody treating me
Like I'm the biggest
Jerk on earth?
151
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,960
Don't worry about them,
Sammy, ok?
152
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,729
You're the owner
Here. You have
Responsibilities.
153
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:11,131
If they can't
Handle that,
That's their problem.
154
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,265
Yeah. Thanks.
155
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,467
Can I have another
Beer, please?
156
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,068
I can't run a tab anymore.
157
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,570
I'm going to have
To take cash on this.
158
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,972
Or maybe you are
The biggest jerk
On earth!
159
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,141
Maybe you are!
160
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,911
Fine, you know.
Just fine.
161
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,445
You know, what do you guys
Want from me, huh?
162
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,981
Free medical plans?
Raises all around?
163
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,150
How about free beer
And all the pretzels
You can eat?
164
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,251
Can I get you anything else?
165
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,385
Can we have
Fondue night?
166
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,588
No!
167
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,190
Not everybody
Likes fondue.
168
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,329
Hi.
169
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,731
Hi, miss howe.
170
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,733
Oh, woody, you don't
Work for me anymore.
171
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,200
You don't need
To call me miss howe.
172
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,769
Just call me rebecca.
173
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,370
Oh.
174
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:51,739
Hi, rebecca.
175
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,707
Rebecca. I kind
Of like that.
176
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:57,410
What do you think, norm?
177
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,713
Now, now, woody.
Come on.
178
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,281
I'm sorry, mr. Peterson.
179
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,651
It's just not me,
Miss howe.
180
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,788
Oh, great.
There you are.
181
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:11,024
I can't stay long.
I only have a few minutes.
What's wrong with the computer?
182
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,260
Oh, nothing, really,
I just can't get those
Little green letters
183
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,562
To pop up
On the screen.
184
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,296
Well, did you try
Booting it up?
185
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,667
Yeah, I did plenty of that.
186
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,069
Sam, you can call me stupid,
187
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:24,037
But I think if miss howe
Was still around here,
188
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,139
She could take care
Of all this technical stuff.
189
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,708
You're stupid.
190
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:32,045
I said sam
Could call me
Stupid, not you.
191
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,081
I don't know
If that's a good
Idea, woody.
192
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,584
I said you could callme
Stupid, not my idea.
193
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,319
Doesn't anybody
Listen around here?
194
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:43,056
You don't think I don't
Want rebecca back here
Managing the bar?
195
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,858
I'd love it, man.
But she quit.
196
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,794
She's never going
To come back here.
197
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,862
Well, sam,
You'll never know
198
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:50,463
Unless you
Offer her the job.
199
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,800
Yeah, right. Hey,
How would you guys feel
200
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,468
About rebecca managing
This place again?
201
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,171
Well, would it raise
The price of beer?
202
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,507
No.
Then what do we care?
203
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:04,444
All right,
That's a good idea.
I'll offer her the job.
204
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,947
Oh, good. Did you find out
What was wrong?
205
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,415
Yeah, the disk
Was in backwards,
206
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,383
And the keyboard
Connection was loose.
207
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:13,654
Also, you had picked it up
And thrown it on the ground.
208
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,956
Wow, rebecca,
You are so great.
209
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:19,026
You've got this
Real knack for managing.
210
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,962
What are you doing
The rest of the day?
211
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,597
What are you doing
The rest of the week?
212
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,232
I'm going to work.
213
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,634
You got a job?
214
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,235
Yeah. Didn't I tell
You guys?
215
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:32,205
Yeah, and it could
Turn out to be something
Real exciting.
216
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,041
Oh, wow. What are you doing?
217
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,209
Well, I'm in
Public relations now.
218
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:39,479
Yeah. I mean,
It doesn't mean
I'll never see you guys.
219
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,481
I can still come in
Here as a customer.
220
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:42,750
Of course,
With work and all,
221
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,952
I mean, I can't stay
For 10, 12 hours
222
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,020
In a stretch
Like you guys.
223
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,756
Oh, that's ok. You can be
In the part-timers club.
224
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,891
They sit over there.
225
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,793
When you're ready to commit,
You'll let us know.
226
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:56,296
Yeah. Like phil there,
He's right on the verge.
227
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:59,132
Well, I better get back.
228
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,634
I've already been gone
10 minutes.
229
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:04,171
10 minutes?
She'll never
Make the cut.
230
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,939
Bye-bye.
231
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,375
Yeah, it would
Have been nice to have
Her back in the bar.
232
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,544
Come to think of it,
You know, how much work
Would there be
233
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,780
For her really to do?
234
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,683
I mean, do I really
Need a manager?
235
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:20,187
I got a truckload
Of sorghum for a sam malone.
236
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:23,423
I didn't say
I wanted sorghum.
237
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,625
I said I wanted
Some more gum.
238
00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:27,961
God, I hate voice mail.
239
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,630
That's not my problem.
240
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:32,132
Where do you want me
To put this?
241
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:33,233
I don't know.
242
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,102
What is sorghum anyway?
243
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,437
It's grain, sam.
It's used to feed
Livestock.
244
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:41,374
Say, if I put it in a bowl,
Would those guys eat it?
245
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,013
Are you kidding?
246
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,115
I was late putting
Down the beer nuts
Last night,
247
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,684
Mr. Peterson almost
Snapped off my thumb.
248
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,286
Fill 'em up.
249
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:06,133
Woody, this new
Trail mix is great.
250
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,167
Yeah.
Yeah.
251
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,601
Could you slide another
Bowl down, please?
252
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,403
Hey, you might want to mix
253
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:14,041
A raw egg in there,
Mr. Peterson. Makes
Your coat nice and shiny.
254
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:18,245
What?
255
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,881
Oh, nothing.
256
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:24,885
Hey, guys,
257
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,086
Listen up here
For a second.
258
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:27,520
I want you to meet
Someone here.
259
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,589
This is your new
Manager. This is earl.
260
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:30,958
Hey.
Hey, earl.
261
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,026
Earl used to play
Shortstop for the cubs.
262
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,494
All right!
One of us, huh?
263
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:36,429
You guys
From chicago?
264
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,098
Nah. They're all losers.
265
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,334
Ah-choo!
266
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,103
Boy, that sounds like
267
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,272
A nasty cold
You got there, son,
268
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:47,941
And still you're out there
Delivering the mail?
269
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:51,078
I got a lot of respect
For you guys.
270
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:54,114
Sammy, give
This guy a raise.
271
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,583
Earl, get out from
Behind there. Come
On, have a seat.
272
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,752
Oh, don't sit me down
In a bar.
273
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,253
I'll never get up.
Ah. [chuckles]
274
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,955
It's either that
Or go home to the wife.
275
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,690
And god knows
I hate to do that.
276
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:06,059
Do you have
The other half
Of this amulet?
277
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,361
[both laugh]
278
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:13,666
Looks like you found
A home here, earl.
279
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,968
Oh, well, thanks, sam.
280
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,469
Why don't you
Find me an apron
281
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,038
And I'll get
Started here.
282
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,740
Holy moly, the man
Handles computers,
283
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:23,143
He tends bar...
284
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,278
Anything you need me for, son.
285
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:29,749
Whoa, would you catch
A look at that babe?
286
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,084
Where at? Where at?
287
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,653
In the pool room
Kind of behind that pole.
288
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,755
Whoo. Boy, you do
Have good eyes.
289
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,557
You sure you played
For the cubs?
290
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:40,928
[laughter]
291
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:44,832
Well, guys,
I hope I do as well
As your last manager.
292
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:48,568
You're probably going
To want to set your sights
A wee bit higher.
293
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:51,404
Come on, guys, guys, guys.
Rebecca's doing great now.
294
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:55,142
Our old manager
Moved on to bigger
And better things.
295
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:59,312
Nothing can hurt a car
Treated with miracle buff,
296
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,815
Absolutely nothing.
297
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,284
Watch me pour acid
On this car
298
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,686
And wipe it right off.
299
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:09,289
Ow. Ow.
300
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:12,325
Ow! Ow.
301
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,007
That's right.
302
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:29,977
Nothing can penetrate
The mirror-like luster
303
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,845
Of miracle buff.
304
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,613
Not even...
305
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,016
F-fire.
306
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,791
You people are just
Going to have
307
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,159
To take my word
For it this time, ok?
308
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,962
Ladies and gentlemen,
I have to take a break now.
309
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:54,567
But our next demonstration
Will be in...One minute?!
310
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:58,405
I just get
So afraid up there.
311
00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,739
We're afraid for you,
312
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:03,143
But that's what makes
The auto show
So exciting.
313
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,916
Hey, huh?
314
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,952
Is this great,
To cut out from
Work like this?
315
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,254
Yeah. With earl
At the bar,
316
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,123
You know, we can
Stay here all day.
317
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,525
Oh, sam, check it out,
Sheepskin covers.
318
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,028
What are you doing,
Man? Why are you buying
All this vinyl cleaner,
319
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,163
Leather cleaner,
I mean, sheepskin?
320
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,431
You don't even
Have a car.
321
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,066
I know, sam,
But most of my furniture
322
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:29,736
Comes from the interior
Of cars.
323
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,371
I got to be careful
When I shave,
324
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,506
Because objects may be
Closer than they appear.
325
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,710
Ladies and gentlemen,
326
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,612
The next miracle buff
Demonstration
327
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:41,648
Will commence
In 10 seconds.
328
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,985
Oh, my god.
Look at that.
That's rebecca.
329
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,020
She's working
The auto show!
330
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,022
Oh, wow, shedoes have
A great job.
331
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,890
She's miss miracle buff.
332
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:53,626
I don't think
She'd want us
To see her like this.
333
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,895
Just keep out of sight.
334
00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:58,398
"Miracle buff--
The amazing discovery
335
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,534
"That will make your car's
Finish last a lifetime.
336
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,203
"For safety reasons,
337
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:06,273
"We can't actually
Simulate a nuclear blast,
338
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:09,842
"But we have already shown
That acid and fire
339
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,379
Are no match
For miracle buff."
340
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:15,248
Unlike human skin.
341
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,518
Sam, I don't think
I can keep up this pace.
342
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,120
I'm still dizzy
From being knocked
In the face
343
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,755
From that airbag
Demonstration.
344
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,358
I think I'm going
To go over to the rvs
And lie down.
345
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,461
Now you're probably all
Saying to yourself,
346
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,663
"Hey, miss miracle buff,
347
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,366
Would the same thing
Apply to..."
348
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,202
Boiling tar?
349
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,936
No way. No forget it.
350
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:38,505
You get me
Some oven mitts.
351
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:42,309
He won't even give me
Any oven mitts.
352
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,345
I am making a lousy
Six bucks an hour.
353
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:48,015
I mean, that will not
Even cover the skin grafts.
354
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,383
I'm not doing this
Anymore. This is it.
355
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,751
You're not getting paid
For this.
356
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,753
Look, buddy.
I am carrying
357
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:56,223
A boiling bucket of tar.
358
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,058
It's ok.
It's all right.
359
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,459
It's ok. It's ok.
360
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:02,762
Oh, sam. Could this
All be a bad dream?
361
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:05,532
No, honey. This
Is the auto show.
362
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,672
My friends.
363
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,607
Thanks to my buddy earl's
Amazing cold remedy,
364
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,443
You are looking
At the picture
Of perfect health.
365
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:19,546
Every sinus cavity
In my head is clear and dry--
366
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:22,482
Well, not dry,
But moist enough
To be comfortable.
367
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,651
Glad you're feeling
Better, cliffie.
368
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:25,718
Ah, thank you.
369
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:27,887
Did this, uh,
Particular cold,
370
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,356
Did this start out
With a, uh,
371
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,091
Funny taste up
In the back
Of your mouth?
372
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,693
Uh-oh. The old acid
In the adenoids.
373
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,894
Scratchy throat?
374
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,229
Yucky coating on the tongue?
375
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:39,366
Sounds like an epidemic.
376
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,368
My friends, I don't want
To be an alarmist,
377
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,536
But tonight,
If you live through it,
378
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:48,075
Is going to be
The worst night
In your entire lives.
379
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,543
First the cold sweats,
The pounding headache--
380
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,245
Cliff,
I don't want
To hear this.
381
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,381
Don't worry, norm.
In a few hours,
382
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:55,882
Your ears will be so clogged,
383
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:58,118
You won't be able
To hear anything.
384
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,053
Cliff clavin,
You gave us this cold
385
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,821
And I'm going
To get you for it.
386
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,956
You're not going
To know when,
But I'll be there.
387
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,625
Oh, carla, I'll know when.
388
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,761
I'll hear your
Liquid-filled lungs
Wheezing a mile away.
389
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:14,401
Hey, hey, everybody.
390
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,069
Hey, earl.
391
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,871
Hey, norm,
Do me a favor, will you?
392
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,308
Let me know
How this tastes.
393
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:27,280
It's great.
What did you do?
394
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,416
Well, I adjusted
The pressure in the kegs
395
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,618
And then I cleaned out
All the lines.
396
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:34,587
Earl, how do you like
The sound of this?
397
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,056
Mrs. Earl peterson.
398
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,292
Think about it.
399
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,794
Come on.
Think about it.
Come on.
400
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,330
I don't know why you guys
401
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,099
Are falling all over yourselves
About this earl.
402
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,335
So he's a nice guy.
Big deal.
403
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,370
Uh, carla,
Excuse me, I noticed
404
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,305
You've been carrying
Your tray a little low.
405
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,207
Are your shoulders tense?
406
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,843
Let me just--
If you don't mind,
Let me just...
407
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,612
Ohh!
408
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:02,482
Oh, that is the best
I have ever felt
409
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:05,352
Without ending up
With a baby.
410
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,423
It wasn't just
The acid, sam.
411
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,592
It was the fire
And the simulated
Hailstorm
412
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,762
And the live pigeons.
12 times a day,
413
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,864
I rubbed and I rubbed
And I rubbed and I rubbed.
414
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,167
Come on, miss howe,
The auto show couldn't
Have been that bad.
415
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,202
Woody, I don't have
Any fingerprints left!
416
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:25,172
Sit in here and calm down.
417
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,474
Rebecca was working
At the auto show?
418
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,209
Yeah, she was
Miss miracle buff.
419
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,511
Don't let the fancy
Title fool you.
420
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:35,382
She was pitching snake oil
Like a side-show geek.
421
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:41,053
Woody, what did she do?
422
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:45,958
As near as I could tell,
Everything but bite the head
Off a live chicken.
423
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:49,429
Of course,
We got there late.
424
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:52,165
It's an indestructible
Space-age polymer, sam,
425
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:55,635
And it's in my hair.
426
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:59,839
Why didn't you come to us?
I mean, come on. The auto show?
427
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:01,341
Because I was ashamed.
428
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:04,377
And I really wanted
To find a good job.
429
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,513
Oh, honey, I know. I know.
430
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,820
It's just that
No corporation
Will hire me
431
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:17,857
Because
Of my involvement
With robin.
432
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,359
I mean,
It was either that
433
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:22,695
Or selling myself
On the streets.
434
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:26,132
All right. So I made
The wrong choice.
435
00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:29,369
Listen, uh,
Whatever, you know.
436
00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:31,904
You got a job here
Managing if you want.
437
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,373
I do?
Yeah.
438
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,976
Oh, sam, thank you.
I'll do a great job
For you.
439
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:39,111
* a jolly good fellow *
440
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,913
* for earl's
A jolly good fellow *
441
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:44,217
* for earl's
A jolly good fellow *
442
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,619
Shoot. I forgot about earl.
443
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,420
Who is earl?
444
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,889
A jolly good fellow.
445
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,260
Well, I know that, sam.
446
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:55,094
He's working here now.
447
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:56,529
He's, uh,
He's a real nice guy.
448
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:58,398
We all got close
To him real fast.
449
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,733
He's like a father
Figure to all of us.
450
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,536
Are you sure you gave
The auto show a chance?
451
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:04,971
Sam.
452
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,039
You got the job,
You got the job.
453
00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,676
Swell. And, you know,
I bet I'll grow
To love earl
454
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,744
Just as much
As everybody else does.
Hmm.
455
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,913
So what do you want me
To do first?
456
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,848
Fire earl.
457
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,893
Ooh!
458
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,628
Norm: you fired earl.
459
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:30,830
Norm! Norm!
460
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,532
Norm. Norm.
461
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:37,770
Sam, did you send
This poor little lady
Out here to fire me?
462
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,406
No.
463
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:42,442
All right. I'd never
Lie to you, earl.
464
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:44,844
Yes, yes,
But don't you see,
465
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:47,814
Rebecca's our friend
And she needs the job.
466
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,982
And I can't afford
To hire both of you.
467
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:52,385
And I'm sure you can
Go out and get
A job some place.
468
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,988
Well, of course I can,
Sam. I just wish you'd
Told me to my face
469
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,224
Instead of handling it
This way.
470
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:01,428
I'm a little
Disappointed in you.
471
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,198
Please don't say that.
472
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,336
I'm more than happy
To step aside.
473
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:12,204
I understand
The importance
Of loyalty.
474
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,474
You know,
I've always believed
475
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:16,509
That the only way
To run a business
476
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:19,646
Or a friendship
Or, hell, a life
477
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:23,683
Is through loyalty
And commitment
To other people.
478
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:27,086
Gee, that's just
What my father
Always used to say.
479
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:29,722
Ah, your father
Was right, missy.
480
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:34,527
Hey, why don't you
Pick up a phone
And give him a call.
481
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,801
Well...
482
00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:44,371
So long, everybody.
483
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,939
All: bye, earl!
484
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:54,381
Well, back to work.
485
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:58,017
Sammy, that was earl
That just walked out of here.
486
00:21:58,084 --> 00:21:59,652
Hey!
Yeah.
487
00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:02,489
I know, I know that.
But I had to hire
Rebecca back.
488
00:22:02,555 --> 00:22:04,724
I mean, she's our friend.
489
00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:06,859
I can't afford
Both of them,
Don't you see?
490
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:09,061
I mean, I had to go with
A personal decision here.
491
00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:11,898
I'm sorry. I just hope
You can live with it.
492
00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:15,535
Wait, wait, sam, sam!
One question--
What?
493
00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:18,037
Is this going to raise
The price of beer?
No.
494
00:22:18,104 --> 00:22:21,508
Then what do we care?
Welcome back, rebecca.
495
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:23,676
* for she's
A jolly good fellow *
496
00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:26,145
* for she's
A jolly good fellow... *
497
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:29,549
Shut up!
I can't hear daddy!
36855
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