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1
00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:04,238
"Cheers"Is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:12,513
Oh, robin, I just get
So lonely and confused
When I'm not with you.
3
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,282
Well, now, I've missed
You, too, sweetheart.
4
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,685
Did you like the little
Surprise I sent?
Surprise?
5
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:18,919
The polaroids.
6
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,521
I don't remember.
7
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:24,158
The pictures of me
Wearing that teddy
You like.
8
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:28,096
The picture of me
Holdingthat teddy
You like.
9
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,130
Now, rebecca,
Don't tease,
10
00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:30,664
Not so early
In my sentence.
11
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,966
Oh, robin, you really mean
You didn't get the pictures?
12
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,635
I think
I would remember.
13
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,104
Well, I know I mailed them.
14
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,106
I went to pick up my final
Paycheck at cheers,
15
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,007
And then I mailed them.
16
00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:42,343
Ohh. Well,
They'll get here.
17
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,277
Yeah.
18
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,779
Ok, for this one
Without the teddy,
19
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:48,116
We'll start
The bidding...
20
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:50,484
Start the bidding
At 10 bucks.
21
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:51,519
Don't crowd.
22
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,387
$100.
23
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,795
* makin' your way
In the world today *
24
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,465
* takes everything you got *
25
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:07,768
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
26
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,604
* sure would help a lot *
27
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:14,842
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
28
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:19,012
* sometimes
You want to go *
29
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:22,683
* where everybody
Knows your name *
30
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:28,322
* and they're always
Glad you came *
31
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:31,325
* you want to be
Where you can see *
32
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,794
* our troubles
Are all the same *
33
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,129
* you want to be *
34
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:38,732
* where everybody
Knows your name *
35
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,502
* you want to go
Where people know *
36
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,837
* people are all the same *
37
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:49,343
* you want to go
Where everybody knows
Your name *
38
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,529
I guess I don't have
To show you where
39
00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:09,963
Anything is behind
The bar, right, mr. Peterson?
40
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:13,734
No, no. We got
The beer taps, you
Got your cherries,
41
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,869
Olives, pretzel bag.
42
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,671
Hey, hey, hey!
43
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,874
You guys got a cash
Register back here!
44
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,045
Oh, my god.
45
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:28,416
I'm in one
Of norm's dreams.
46
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,951
No, no, no. I'm just
Doing my hour behind the bar
47
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:33,187
To qualify
For the employees'
Basketball game,
48
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:36,190
Although my dreams
Are very similar to this.
49
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,727
Except for in my dreams,
The kegs are a lot taller,
50
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:40,994
And, uh...
51
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,596
Well, I can fly.
52
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,398
Ah.
53
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,099
I got a good feeling
This year, guys.
54
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,401
I think we're going
To beat those guys
55
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,136
From gary's
Old towne tavern.
56
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,238
Yeah.
All right!
57
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:51,572
Oh, this again.
58
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,474
I mean, every year,
They beat you,
59
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,609
Humiliate you,
Outsmart you,
And take your money.
60
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,478
I mean, where's
The virtue in that?
61
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,079
Tradition.
62
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:02,650
Well, forgive me
If I don't share
Your enthusiasm.
63
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:06,053
I've just been
Feeling a bit
Edgy these days.
64
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,255
Why's that,
Dr. Crane?
65
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:10,258
Well, lilith,
In her own dear,
66
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,959
Compulsive
Little way,
67
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,427
Made the mistake
Of asking me
68
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,463
If I thought
She looked fat.
69
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,997
And what did you say?
70
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,032
I told her she
Looked just fine.
71
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:21,369
Ooh. Rookie mistake.
72
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:25,038
So, what kind of punishment
Are you getting?
73
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,440
I'm not
Getting any.
74
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,175
Oh.
You got off easy.
75
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:29,610
No.
76
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,812
I'm not
Gettingany.
77
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:35,616
No, you're
Getting offeasy.
78
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,920
Ho, woody.
Think fast!
79
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:45,926
Hey, hey!
80
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:46,927
All right, sam!
81
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:49,297
Way to go, sammy!
82
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,766
Way to
Pass her, sam!
83
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,768
Wait till you guys hear
What I did this weekend.
84
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,203
You know, ever since
I bought this bar,
85
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,971
I've been trying
To remind people
86
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,274
It's still a sports bar,
So I've been going
Around renewing
87
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,343
Some of my old
Sports contacts.
88
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:03,977
And for those of you who
Have never seen sam
89
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,947
Renewing his old sports
Contacts, it goes
Something like this.
90
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,817
"Oh, come on. You've
Got to remember me.
91
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,052
You got to."
92
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,021
Just shows
What you know.
93
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,222
I happen to have
Spent the weekend
94
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,325
Going head-to-head
With kevin mchale.
95
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,392
Really?
Whoa!
96
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:19,827
That's
My favorite celtic.
97
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:20,628
Yeah?
98
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,262
You know,
Uh, basketball
99
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:25,399
Was invented
By the ancient celtics.
100
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:28,068
Well, yeah,
Interestingly enough,
101
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,704
So was
The parquet floor.
102
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,506
You've been working
Without your hat,
103
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,675
Haven't you, cliff?
104
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:35,743
So, sammy...
105
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,978
You shot hoops
With kevin mchale?
106
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,012
Actually, no.
107
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,514
I played golf with him.
108
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,082
Beat him, too,
You know.
109
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,250
Hurt him bad.
110
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:44,352
All right!
All right!
111
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,819
Yeah, you know,
Big star as he is,
112
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,855
You shank a tee shot
Into his shin,
113
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,624
He'll cry just like
Anybody else.
114
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,793
Sammy, I got
A great idea.
115
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:53,627
Yeah, what?
116
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,262
Ask kevin
To play on our team.
117
00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:56,564
Then we'll really
Cream gary!
118
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:57,431
Yeah!
119
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,599
No, no,
That'd be cheating.
120
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,501
But that'd be
Good cheating.
121
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,903
At what point
Does cheating
122
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,538
Become
A moral dilemma?
123
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,840
I mean, can
The severity
124
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:09,042
Of snitching that
Last piece of cake
125
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,044
Be compared to,
Oh...
126
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,381
Cheating
On one's wife
127
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:14,615
With a beautiful
Young woman
128
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,784
That works
In the office
Next to yours?
129
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:22,723
I should footnote
This by adding that
I'm not getting any.
130
00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:26,927
Hello, sports fans.
131
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,095
Boo.
Boo.
132
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,697
Boo.
Boo.
133
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,632
What are you
Doing here, gary?
134
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,333
I just came by
To introduce you
135
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,168
To some of
My new employees.
136
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,638
Come on down, boys.
137
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,675
Hey, come on.
138
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,744
Those guys
Are ringers.
139
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,245
They're just
A couple of kids
140
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:46,914
Working their way
Through college.
141
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,549
Oh, by the way,
142
00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:49,750
I just wanted
To let you know
143
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:52,152
That we're open
To any wagers.
144
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,087
Oh, oh, that's right.
145
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,623
You guys are
Too chicken to bet.
146
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,090
We're not
Chicken to bet.
147
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,759
We bet you stomp
All over us.
148
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:02,663
I were you, sam,
I'd get a piece
Of this action.
149
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:05,399
He means, do
We want to bet
On ourselves?
150
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:09,603
Are you kidding?
With those
Two skyscrapers?
151
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:13,173
Man, I thought
I was the bumpkin here.
152
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,608
Have it your way.
153
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,745
Oh, sam,
Give me the ball
For a second.
154
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,747
Watch this.
155
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:26,386
Ha ha ha!
See you at the gym.
156
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,623
Boy, that gary's a rat.
157
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,625
Yeah. Do you believe that,
Bring in a couple
158
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,360
Of professional ringers
Like that?
159
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,128
No, I meant
Stealing our ball.
160
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,298
Oh, man!
That's my favorite ball!
161
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,933
I hate that!
Get me the phone.
162
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,902
I'm calling--I'm calling
Kevin right now.
163
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,036
All right!
164
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,472
He'll be able to get
That ball back for us.
165
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,474
He's way big.
166
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,909
Yeah, all right.
If he wants
To play that way,
167
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,444
I'm just going to
Get kevin mchale
168
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,279
To come down
And play with us.
169
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,380
That's great,
Sammy!
170
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:54,414
If he doesn't
Want to do it,
171
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:55,415
Then I'll get
Larry bird.
172
00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:56,750
No, no, no, not bird.
173
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,118
If he's in, I'm out.
174
00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,553
Woody. Woody, woody.
175
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,121
You telling me
You know larry bird?
176
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,255
I don't have to
Know him.
177
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,491
He's from
French lick, indiana.
178
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,526
He's a doofus.
179
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,662
So what?
You're from indiana,
180
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,063
And you're a doofus.
181
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,500
Yeah, well, I would rather be
A doofus from hanover
182
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,767
Than a doofus
From french lick.
183
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,503
Everyone from hanover
Knows that french lick
184
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:19,372
Is the doofus capital
Of indiana.
185
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,676
Of course,
Everyone from french lick
Thinks it's hanover.
186
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,479
It's the fuel of
A raging controversy.
187
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:28,115
Yo, kevin. Hi.
Sam malone here.
188
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,518
Hey, listen,
You remember how
I told you about
189
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:31,685
That game
My bar is playing
190
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,153
Against gary's
Old towne tavern?
191
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,689
Yeah,
How would you like
To get in on that?
192
00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:39,026
No, I know you've
Got a busy schedule.
193
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,994
Sam, sam, sam, tell him
It's for charity.
194
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,864
No, no, listen,
I understand.
I understand.
195
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,232
I'm not going
To bust your chops here.
196
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,567
You know...
197
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:50,638
These needy orphans have
Been through it all.
198
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:54,307
They're used to people
Letting them down.
199
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,777
I'm sorry.
Didn't I tell you
It was for charity?
200
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:59,513
Oh, I'm sorry, man.
Yeah. Charity.
201
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,048
Well, no,
Don't worry about it.
202
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,783
I can get one of
The lakers to do it.
203
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,885
I mean,
They're good guys.
204
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:07,855
I mean, they'll give up
An hour of their time
205
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,658
To change
Some poor kid's life.
206
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,894
Sam, leave
The man alone.
207
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,729
You know, if somebody
Doesn't want to do
Something,
208
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:18,999
No amount of
Manipulation, cajoling,
Pleading, or lying
209
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,734
Can get them to
Change their mind.
210
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:21,902
That's fantastic, man.
211
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,170
All right,
I'll see you down here.
212
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:28,876
Could you call
Lilith for me?
I'll dial.
213
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:39,753
Boy, look at
The curves on
That glass.
214
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:45,058
Feel that.
215
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:50,230
Boy, he's really not
Getting any, is he?
216
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:51,899
Pathetic.
217
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,001
Woody, draw me another
Beer, will you?
218
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:57,871
Put it in one of
Those girly glasses.
219
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,875
Hey, everybody!
220
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:06,046
I want you to meet
Your new bartender,
Mr. Kevin mchale.
221
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,420
Watch your head.
Watch your head.
222
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:14,822
Low bridge.
Low bridge.
223
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,290
Welcome aboard,
Kevin.
224
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,626
I hope
Your years at cheers
225
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:19,960
Are as happy
As mine were.
226
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,595
Sam, I'll get
My stuff together
227
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,763
And get out of
Your way.
228
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:23,797
Whoa, whoa,
Whoa.
229
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:24,798
Come back here,
Man.
230
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,099
He's not
Replacing you.
231
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,601
He's just
Filling in here
For a while
232
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:28,636
So he can
Qualify to play
The game
233
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,137
Against gary.
234
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,471
Oh.
235
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,874
In that case,
Here's an apron.
236
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:34,975
All right.
237
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:38,045
So what's it like
Working with larry bird?
238
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:41,615
Hey, larry's great.
Larry's funny as can be.
239
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,216
Boy, he's got great jokes.
240
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:46,153
And mostly jokes
About these doofuses
From hanover, indiana.
241
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,661
You ever hear this one?
How many guys
From hanover
242
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:56,329
Does it take
To change a light bulb?
243
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,931
It doesn't even matter
'cause they got to drive
244
00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,299
All the way over
To french lick
245
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,001
Just to get
The light bulb.
246
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,810
I heard it
A little different.
247
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:16,049
Hey, kevin, want to
Slam-dunk me a beer
Over here, buddy?
248
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,686
No, I can't do that.
That's against nba policy.
249
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:19,820
Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah.
250
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:20,988
They don't
Like their athletes
251
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,389
Promoting drugs or alcohol,
252
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,158
So tonight, kevin's just
Gonna be serving water.
253
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,894
To whom?
254
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:32,065
You believe this,
Huh, norm, about to play
Ball with kevin mchale.
255
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,366
Tonight.
256
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,068
You know, I didn't realize
We were playing at night.
257
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,137
Are you sure the orphans
Can stay up that late?
258
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,538
The orphans?
259
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:39,707
The orphans, yeah.
260
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,074
You know, well, see,
261
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,043
One of--one of
The great things
About orphans is
262
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:46,279
They have no parents
To tell them
When to go to bed.
263
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:49,817
Listen, kevin.
264
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,552
About the, uh...
These orphans, uh...
265
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:53,987
Well, they're not coming.
266
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,555
Seems there was
Some kind of mix-up.
267
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:56,790
You know,
They had tickets
268
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,425
To the, uh, circus
Or something like that.
269
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:02,229
You know these orphans--
They're always
Getting freebies.
270
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,531
I don't know, sam.
There's no circus
In town.
271
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,599
Well, um,
Oh, right.
272
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,568
It was
The monster
Truck rally.
273
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:09,903
That was it.
274
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,806
No, no, no.
Not tonight.
275
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:17,410
All right, guys,
Where do you think
The orphans are?
276
00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:19,947
Come on, sam.
277
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,348
There are no orphans,
Are there?
278
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,682
In the world?
279
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,617
Kevin, I wish that
Were true, man.
280
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,087
Sam, this is all a big scam.
281
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:28,488
There's no orphans.
I'm outta here.
282
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,223
Ohh, kevin,
Wait a minute.
283
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,759
Let me talk
To you here
For a second.
284
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,226
Listen, man.
Wait, wait,
Wait.
285
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:36,129
We've got
A $5,000 bet with gary.
286
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,364
$5,000, huh?
287
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:40,700
Yeah. I can't afford
To lose that kind of money.
288
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,737
Well, I do have
A friend of mine
289
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,306
Who's on the board
Of directors at the
Sunny grove orphanage.
290
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:50,477
I'll bet he knows
Where the orphans
Are tonight.
291
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,413
Anyways, I know they're
Desperate for money.
292
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,149
And let's say the
Winnings for our game
Were to go to the kids.
293
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,317
Hell, yes!
294
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,020
We don't mind
If those tykes
Get their cut.
295
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:03,156
No, no, sam,
Not their cut.
They get every penny.
296
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,793
Ev--uh, guys?
297
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,260
What do you say here?
298
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,296
I mean, we're in it
To beat gary, right?
299
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,331
I mean, that's what it's
All about, isn't it?
300
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,533
I want my money back.
301
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,702
Listen, listen,
If kevin plays,
302
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,337
Then we're definitely
Going to win,
303
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:20,273
So it will be
Gary's $5,000 that
We give to the orphans.
304
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,976
But if he doesn't play,
Then we're definitely
Going to lose,
305
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,478
And it'll be our 5 grand
That we're giving to gary.
306
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,646
All right,
I'm behind you.
307
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:27,647
I agree.
308
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,482
I want
My money back.
309
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,086
Ok, then
We're all agreed.
310
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,655
It's a deal.
311
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:36,824
Here they are,
God bless them.
312
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,359
They're
At the boat show.
313
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:48,001
Beat gary! Beat gary!
Beat gary! Beat gary!
314
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,736
Beat gary! Beat gary!
Beat gary!
315
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,272
Wait, wait, wait,
Wait, wait, wait.
Gary's not here.
316
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,341
Find gary!
Find gary!
Find gary!
317
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,676
Woody, woody, woody, wait.
We're just early, that's all.
318
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:57,878
We'll have to wait.
319
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:58,912
Wait for gary!
Wait for gary!
320
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,314
What, am I the only
One here?
321
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,516
Ok, guys,
Let's huddle up here.
322
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,517
Have a seat.
Have a seat, fellas.
323
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,618
All right.
324
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,354
Settle down,
Settle down.
325
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,722
Ok,
The way I see it,
326
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,391
Anyone gets within
10 feet of the ball,
327
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,926
They pass it
To kevin.
328
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,527
Sounds good to me.
329
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,528
What if
He's not open?
330
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,998
[laughing]
331
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:21,935
Old towne tavern!
Old towne tavern!
332
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,703
Well, the cheerleaders
Are here.
333
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,873
Well, sam,
334
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,308
You really
Want to go through
With this formality,
335
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:29,843
Or you just want
To call the whole
Thing off?
336
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,912
Oh, let's go through
The formality, gar.
337
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,414
Say, have you met
Our new bartender?
338
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,516
Right over here.
339
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:39,119
This is our ringer, gar.
340
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,421
Getting a little
Bald on top, fella.
341
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,090
Let's go!
342
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,563
Hey! Way to go!
Way to go!
343
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:54,334
Kevin! Kevin!
344
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,874
Good stuff!
Good stuff!
345
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,346
Nice one, kevin!
346
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:09,582
Let's go, kevin.
347
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,018
Yes!
Kevin!
348
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:29,469
Take that! In your face.
In your face.
349
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,105
Come on, woody!
Come on, woody!
Come on!
350
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,074
Kevin can't
Do everything here!
351
00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:35,342
How's it going?
352
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,110
Kevin's
Doing everything.
353
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,312
Well, say,
What's the score?
354
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,780
Uh...72.
355
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:41,949
To what?
356
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,616
We have 70,
They have 2.
357
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,718
All right!
358
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,620
Sammy,
I need a break.
359
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:49,622
I cannot...Move.
360
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,325
Oh, yeah, take a break.
Why don't you get
Yourself a beer?
361
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,964
Ok, fellas, I'm playing
For norm now!
362
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,131
Here you go,
Sam.
363
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,567
Oh. There you go.
Fast break, kevin!
364
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,304
Whoo!
Don't you love
Teamwork?
365
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:06,839
Don't you think maybe
Somebody ought to go in
For mchale?
366
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,608
I mean, he's the only one
Been playing the whole game.
367
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:11,011
Are you nuts?
We're ahead by,
What, 70 points.
368
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,279
I don't want to
Just beat this guy,
369
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,680
I want to
Humiliate him.
370
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,383
I want to hear
That clown gary
Scream for mercy.
371
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,517
[crash]
372
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,651
Aah!
373
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,021
That wasn't gary,
Was it?
374
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,389
Sorry, mr. Mchale.
375
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,991
You know, sometimes you can
Just pop these babies
376
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,525
Right back into place.
377
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,227
Aah!
378
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,229
Maybe not.
379
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,345
Gary, it's carla.
380
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,014
Yeah, the guys just
Wanted me to give you
A call,
381
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,549
Tell you that you left
Something at the gym.
382
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,917
Your money!
Your pride!
383
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,953
Did you lose
A blue gym bag?
384
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,322
Cheers rules!
385
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:56,589
Yeow!
386
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,027
Oh, man,
Victory is so sweet.
387
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,261
This is even better
388
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:02,462
Than the time
We didn't lose so badly.
389
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,264
You remember that?
390
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:06,033
Yeah, but the best part
Was kevin getting up
391
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,535
And walking off the court,
Knowing his foot was ok.
392
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:12,039
No, no. The best part
Was gary's total defeat
393
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,540
And humiliation.
394
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:14,641
Whoo!
Yeah!
395
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:15,808
That was
The best part.
396
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,444
Did you see his face
397
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,712
When we told him we're
Going to give his money
To charity?
398
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:20,880
Yeah. You know,
Those moppets
399
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:21,948
Will be glad
To get the money.
400
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:24,484
Yeah, a lot
They did for it.
401
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,387
Anyway, that
Orphanage guy's
402
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,789
Coming over here in a while
To take the money back.
403
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:33,160
You know, sam,
I don't know
If I ever told you,
404
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:36,896
But, tragically,
I lost both
My parents
405
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:38,065
When I was...
406
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,767
Oh, in my early 30s.
407
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:45,172
I could
Sure use that money.
408
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,207
Say, lilith,
How about that?
409
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,542
Would $5,000
Buy anything?
410
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,046
What?
411
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,381
Nothing, dear.
412
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:58,051
I'm getting
Nothing, dear.
413
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,154
Mr. Malone?
414
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,355
Yeah, over here.
415
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,157
I'm dr. Walter froenmeyer
416
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,658
With the celtics'
Medical staff.
417
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:06,926
Uh, yeah.
418
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,428
I wanted to get
Your version
419
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,463
Of mr. Mchale's
Accident last night.
420
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,433
Oh, well, uh...
No big deal,
He fell down,
421
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,202
We put him back up.
Nothing serious.
422
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:18,405
Does this look
Like nothing
Serious to you?
423
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,541
God, the skin's
All gone.
424
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:28,581
This hairline fracture
Runs the entire length
Of the metatarsal,
425
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,183
Which would indicate
There was some sort of
426
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,152
A jarring after
The initial impact.
427
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,053
It was me.
I fell on him.
428
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,822
And then I tried
To pop it back
Into place.
429
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:36,923
I'm sorry.
430
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,825
Woody. Excuse me
Just for a second.
431
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,059
Woody, woody.
Oh, man!
432
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,494
No, no, come on,
Don't blame yourself.
433
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,595
You were just
At the wrong place
434
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:43,863
At the wrong time,
That's all.
435
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,232
If anything led to this,
436
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,366
It was sam's pig-headed
Refusal to take mchale
437
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,367
Out of the game earlier.
438
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,568
What are you talking about?
439
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:51,204
Woody's the clod
Who broke his foot.
440
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,605
If you'll excuse me,
441
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,541
I got a whole gang
Of reporters
Back at the garden
442
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,177
Waiting to find out
Why mchale's out
For the season.
443
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,778
Wait.
Out for the season?
444
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,847
Oh, my god.
People are
Going to hate us.
445
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,983
Hate us?
They'll kill us first,
Then they'll hate us.
446
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:05,252
Excuse me, doctor?
Excuse me. Listen,
447
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,553
There's no need for you
448
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,288
To mention the bar's name,
Now, is there?
449
00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:09,756
Why shouldn't I?
450
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,224
Professional courtesy.
451
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,360
I'm a doctor.
You're a bartender.
452
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,295
We're both
Professionals.
453
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:17,264
Sam, wait a minute.
Let me handle this.
All right?
454
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:20,099
Doc, how much
Would it take
455
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,534
To put a hook
In your mouth?
456
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,702
$10,000.
457
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:23,836
5.
458
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,205
Deal.
459
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,808
Now,she's
A professional.
460
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,179
Hey. Great work,
There, carla.
461
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,013
Right.
Dodged that bullet.
462
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,182
Way to go, carla.
463
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,550
I want
My money back.
464
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,953
Oh, for goodness' sakes,
Frasier, we've been
465
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,989
Intimate several times
This last month.
466
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:44,224
Look at my day planner.
467
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,526
We were together every
Night this weekend.
468
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:50,197
Oh, good heavens,
That wasn't you.
469
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,664
What do you mean,
It wasn't me?
470
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,033
I'm kidding. See?
Look how tense you are.
471
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,402
You wouldn't
Enjoy it anyway.
472
00:18:57,204 --> 00:19:00,340
Well, fine.
I don't want it anyway.
473
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,242
You do too.
I do not.
474
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:03,943
You do so.
All right, I do.
475
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,045
Well, you're not
Getting any.
476
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,680
Oh, frasier,
Isn't it enough
477
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,250
That I'm doing it
To your mind?
478
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,357
Hey, sammy.
479
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:18,691
You're walking.
480
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,460
Kevin,
When did you get
Out of the hospital?
481
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,161
What are you
Talking about?
482
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,930
I'm talking
About your foot.
483
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,398
Nah, it's fine.
484
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,234
I iced it down for
About a half-hour
After the game.
485
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,301
Feels great.
486
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,636
Whoa, whoa.
Wait a second.
487
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,671
Whose x-ray
Is this, then, huh?
488
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:32,805
Is that not yours?
489
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,907
I don't know.
Let me take
A look at it.
490
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,876
It says,
"Adult male gorilla."
491
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:40,347
That's not me.
Could be laimbeer, huh?
492
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,952
Oh, man,
I can't believe this.
493
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,054
Gary sends in a fake doctor
To steal our money.
494
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,491
Do you believe that?
God, even when we beat him,
He wins.
495
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,926
Hey, sam, I'd like you
To meet father conrad here
496
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,428
From the sunny grove
Orphanage.
497
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:56,729
I hope you don't mind
498
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,265
That we brought
A photographer along.
499
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:00,199
So, sam, why don't you
Come on around there
500
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:01,401
And get a picture
With father and I
501
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,202
And the $5,000
You're giving us.
502
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:04,604
Come on.
503
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:06,539
You want to do this,
Uh, right now?
504
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,908
Yeah, come on over.
Let's go.
505
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:12,879
Ok. I'll be
Right there.
Let me, um...
506
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,113
What are we
Going to do?
507
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,683
All right,
Short people in front.
508
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:19,819
Look what you did.
509
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:23,256
You made me smack you
In front of a priest.
510
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,627
Boys, boys,
We can work this out.
511
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,462
Yeah, how?
We don't have
Any money.
512
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,631
But we got a lot
Of people in here, right.
513
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:34,033
How about we collect
As much money as we can.
514
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,768
That's good.
We give it to him,
515
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,538
And then make sure everybody
Knows that gary's the one
That stole
516
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,640
The 5,000 bucks
From those kids?
517
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:41,974
There you go.
518
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:45,011
Give me some money.
It's for a good cause.
519
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,313
What cause?
520
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,815
'cause I said.
521
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:53,553
Hey, sammy. The father and I
Were just talking about it.
522
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,522
Those kids are really
Going to enjoy that money.
523
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,056
They'll get shoes,
Some eyeglasses--
524
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:59,125
You know, kevin,
We don't
Quite have $5,000,
525
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:00,727
But we're pretty
Darn close here.
526
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:03,162
Sammy, sammy, where is
The orphans' money?
527
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:04,196
He has it!
528
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,699
Hey!
Boo!
Boo!
529
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,302
Thank you, sam.
Thank you all
For coming.
530
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:12,772
Father, on behalf of
Gary's old towne tavern,
531
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:15,442
I'd like to present you
With a souvenir jacket.
532
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:18,144
And we have one
For you, too, kevin,
533
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:21,080
With extra-long sleeves.
534
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:22,815
Oh, nice.
Uh-huh.
535
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:27,420
And...Here's
A little check for
Those wonderful kids.
536
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,422
$5,000, kevin.
537
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,691
$5,000.
That's great.
538
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:33,159
Hey, gary, let's get
A picture with this.
539
00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:34,361
That's a great idea.
540
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:35,762
Sammy, would you
Get out of the way?
541
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:37,364
You're blocking
The picture.
542
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:39,899
We got
A donation, too.
Hold on a second.
543
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,067
How much you got?
544
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:45,071
$11.75.
545
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:48,040
That's so cute.
546
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,777
Gentlemen,
I have a bus outside.
547
00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:52,712
We can swing by,
Pick up the orphans,
548
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:55,281
And we can drive them
Over to gary's for
Some milk and cookies.
549
00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:56,282
What do you think,
Father?
550
00:21:56,349 --> 00:21:57,617
I think that's fine.
551
00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:58,785
It's a great idea.
Come on. Let's go.
552
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:00,487
Kevin, you don't
Understand, man.
553
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:02,755
That $5,000--
That's our money.
554
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:06,659
Shame on you, sam.
You know it's
The orphans' money.
555
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:09,562
Hey, gar, thanks a lot
For the 5 grand.
556
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:11,063
Get out of here.
I don't want to
See you again.
557
00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:12,699
You're a bum.
Go on, get out
Of my place.
558
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,033
Go on, scoot.
Fine, fine.
559
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,736
Eight years of humiliating
You wienies is enough.
560
00:22:16,803 --> 00:22:19,706
I'm going to find
A tougher gang
To humiliate.
561
00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:21,574
Hey, you can look
All over boston,
562
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:24,677
You won't find any
Wienies tougher than us!
563
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:27,279
Yeah. Yeah, that's
Telling him, woody.
564
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:28,748
Huh?
565
00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:30,950
Man, we got
To get back at gary.
566
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:32,552
Worse than we
Ever got him
Before.
567
00:22:32,619 --> 00:22:34,821
Come on,
Let's get gary!
Let's get gary!
568
00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:37,557
Let's get gary!
Let's get gary!
569
00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:39,659
Let's get gary!
Let's get gary!
570
00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:40,893
Aw, now,
Wait a minute.
571
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,562
Let's get gary!
Let's get gary!
572
00:22:42,629 --> 00:22:44,764
What are we doing?
Man, we're pathetic.
573
00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:47,600
We've been trying to get
Gary for eight years.
574
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:50,269
We never win.
We're pathetic.
575
00:22:50,336 --> 00:22:52,972
There's nobody
More pathetic than us
576
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:54,574
In the whole world.
577
00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:57,810
Oh, please, lilith.
578
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,111
Anything.
579
00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:01,981
A back rub,
A handshake.
580
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:04,083
Blow me a kiss.
581
00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:11,190
We're not frasier.
582
00:23:11,257 --> 00:23:14,994
We're not frasier!
We're not frasier!
583
00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:17,096
We're not frasier!
41449
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