Original subtitles

So I need you two to spend a day with the Mustangs

while Lou helps me with a project for our cabin.

Ooh! Are you finally taking off the roof so we can sleep under the stars?

Oh, Jake, it's camp.

If that's what you want, let's just sleep outside.

On the grass like common field mice,

when we have a perfectly good cabin

that just needs its roof removed?

Think, Bill.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Maybe a day apart isn't a bad thing.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

You should spend the day with Noah and the boys.

Parker wants me to help him with a new activity

that he claims will "blow the doors" off this camp.

Ooh!Not that way, Winnie.

Oh.

Tell them though, I said good luck.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

So, Destiny told me to hang out at the Coyote Cabin today.

But Noah told us to hang out with Mustang Cabin today.

Do you know what this means?

Our counselors really play things fast and loose

and every day we go uninjured is a minor miracle?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Yes. And also we are completely unsupervised.

It has been too long since the three of us

had good near-death experience together.

I hope you guys have your affairs in order.

And also change your pants, things might get messy.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

ALL: ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

I got your new bookcase

and my complete Lady Louella,

Calypso pirate series to help fill it up.

I even brought my new self-help book,

Polly Wants Catharsis.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Love that you went with this easy-to-assemble bookcase.

I was a little afraid

the legendary woodsman Lou Hockhauser

would want me to help her build one from scratch.

And these hands are made for dramatically gesturing.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Oh. It didn't even occur to me to build it myself.

Nor should it. You're the boss now.

You don't think I can do it because I've gone soft?

I don't think that.You're thinking it right now.

Well, now I am because you're talking about it.

I knew it!

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

You know what? I'm gonna show you

I haven't lost my touch.

We're gonna build your bookcase,

using only our wits and what nature provides.

So get those animated hands

ready for a hard day's work.

Way to go, Noah.

Couldn't you just say, "Awesome bookcase, boss"?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Without any counselors,

we can do absolutely anything

we want to do.Right.

So what's the most thrilling risk that we can think of?

I'll go first.

Reshingling the barn. Ooh, goose bumps.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

What if we kept hunting for the lost treasure of Dusty Tush?

Yes. We still haven't found

the First National Bank of Dusty Tush Railways

from the last clue.

Hey, how about the three of us

go check out the town archives in--

You had me until homework.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I know.

What if we went canoeing?

But that's something we do with our counselors all the time.

Yeah, but not in space.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Ah-ha!

What if we did canoe somewhere

but a place we're not normally allowed to go?

Ooh, like that island in the middle of Lake Tush

that Noah and Destiny say is too far.

But they're not going to be able to stop us this time.

Yes, it's perfect.

So, that's a no on space then?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Okay, so I need your help

coming up with a brand-new camp activity,

one that will join all other summer camp classics

and cement my name in history,

like Sam Arts and Archibald Crafts.

Arts and crafts isn't actually named after real people.

[SCOFFS] Okay, I suppose

you'd say there's no Eleanor Smore either.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I think Lou's been messing with you.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]

Figures!

Hey, there.

Did you spring a leak?

Sorry. Am I bothering you?

I tend to do that.

Can I stick a while?

Anything wrong?

I think I just really miss home.

And when I think of home, I think of my dad

and how excessive shoulder hair runs in my family.

I think about how I have that

to look forward to.

And then I think, ah!

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Parker, make it stop.

Hey, Lyle, how about you help us

come up with a new camp activity?

The more the merrier.

Unless you're trying to avoid a summer cold.

Then it's best to be alone, which I usually am.

But, hey, it gives me more time

to think about the shoulder hair thing.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Seriously, I can't take much more of this.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Hey, Lyle, just get ready to help me create something

that will make the Parker Preston name live on forever.

You know who didn't live forever?

My pet fish, Sebastian.

Oh, well, at least my cat had a nice dinner.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Hey, you have a cat.

Had a cat.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Sweet mercy, there's no bottom to this.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Did we really had to chop down trees?

We could have just bought lumber.

What is this "we" business?

I chopped down these trees

while you dramatically gestured.

What? That's preposterous!

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Look, let's just cut off these branches.

Be sure to shave the bark as you go.

We're gonna need to make sure this wood is as clean as--

[ANIMAL CHITTERING][EXCLAIMS]

Oh![ANIMAL CHITTERING]

I should've checked these trees for critters first.

You think I would have learned after me and Mom

never made it out of that Douglas fir.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[GRUNTS] Don't just stand there.

Run away?Help me!

Oh, right, your thing.

[ANIMAL CHITTERING]

[ANIMAL CHITTERING]Oh!

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Okay. We tried things your way.

Can we just go back to box shelves now?

No! That tree belongs to us. Not some critter.

[ANIMAL CHITTERING]

Nope, I was wrong, that tree belongs to a critter.

Let's go find us a new one.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Okay, who's ready to add a classic activity

to the tradition of summer camp,

and, more importantly, secure my legacy of greatness?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

So humble.

Aw, thank you.

I was being sarcastic.

I hear what I wanna hear.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Can we speed this along?

I've got to write to my pen pal.

Maybe this time I'll hear back.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Yeah, I got in a while.

Now, everyone loves a three-legged race.

But you know what they'd love even more?

Let me guess, uh, a four-legged race?

[SCOFFS] Thinking too small, Baker.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Behold, the six-legged race!

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Why are you here? Why didn't you save yourself?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Trust me, it'll be twice as fun.

And we're ten times more likely to sprain an ankle.

I did the math.

[SIGHS] I got a C in math.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

If this is a six-legged race,

who are we supposed to be racing against?

Oh, right. Let's see if we can go find

five more campers to join in on the fun.

Oh! That's my bad.

We need to work together.

So, let's start with right foot.

[EXCLAIMS]

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Okay. Who here gets confused with right and left?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Oh, let's just untie ourselves.

That might be hard.

I triple-knotted us for safety.

Or maybe quadruple?

Did I mention I got a C in math?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Everyone relax, I'll drag us

to the arts and craft supplies,

and we'll just cut ourselves free with scissors.

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

Okay, new plan.

Everyone scoot.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Here it is, Tush Island.

I love being on a ranch, but there is something nice

about getting out in nature and away from everyone.

Hey, where is everyone?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Up here.

Winnie, get out of that tree!

You got it.

[EXCLAIMS] [GRUNTS]

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I don't know why superheroes land that way.

It's brutal on the knuckles.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Check out this super weird cat I met.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

That's not a cat. It's a beaver.

Perfect.

That goes so much better with the name I gave him,

Justin Beaver.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Wait, so you thought it was a cat,

but you named it Justin Beaver?

Let it go.

Black hole of Jake-Logic will swallow you whole.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Hey, guys, what do you think

this strange wire camouflage with leaves does?

[SNAPS]

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Oh, interesting.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Justin, come back.

Oh, man, I scared off my new friend.

You just met him.

Don't be so thirsty.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

We have to find a way out of this thing.

Maybe the scary axe guy can help?

[ALL SCREAMING]

Listen, scary Explorers Man, please don't eat us.

Oh! Eat us? He's not going to eat us.

[LOUDLY CLEARING THROAT]

Okay, he might eat us!

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[CLEARING THROAT] Ooh! I'm sorry.

Haven't used my voice in a while.

I can't remember the last time I actually spoke to anyone.

And I stopped singing in the shower when I stopped,

well, taking showers.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Now, what are you doing poking around my island?

Sorry. We just canoed over from the summer camp across the lake.

We had a free day and we were looking for a near-death experience.

So, thanks for being so terrifying.

We really appreesh.

Wow. Big Tush ranch is a camp now?

I don't get off this island much.

Are Ben Affleck and J. Lo still a thing?

Oh, my gosh, yes.

But it was a long and winding road back to each other.

You have no idea.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

We brought some food.

Would you like to eat with us?

Oh, now that we know you don't eat kids.

We do know that, right?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt for you

to stick around for a while and fill me in about life on the mainland.

Great. So what should we call you?

Or is that being too thirsty, Winnie?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Oh, well, my name is, um, Branch Shrub.

Yep, Branch Shrub of the Tush Island shrubs.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Really?

Your name is Branch Shrub?

Hi, Branch Shrub.

My name is Jake Jacobs.

[CHUCKLES] Sure it is, kid.

Touche.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

All right. Since the six-legged race was such a disaster,

I decided to move on to my next best idea.

Land skiing.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

This was your next best idea?

Yeah. Why should the fun of water skiing stop at the shore?

Uh, maybe because the water stops at the shore.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

You know, lakes are just big fish toilets.

Wow, you're a real lakes half-empty kind of guy, huh?

The lake is half-empty.

Climate change is coming for us all.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Look, I'm an environmentalist,

and even I'm going to say, lighten up.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

All right. When I give Hunter the signal, he'll take off,

and I'll land ski my way to summer camp history books.

You know what else is in history books?

I don't.

Our school's library is really underfunded.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Thank you, Lyle.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

All right, let's do this.

Hiya!

[NEIGHING]

Ow! Oh! Ouch!

I think he forgot about all the trees.

This is more fun than I thought it would be.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

So do you really wanna nail this ugly wood together now?

Because, to be honest, I'd be embarrassed to show its books.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Nails? What're we, pampered little babies?

Do you let babies play with nails, Lou?

I file them down.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Now let's assemble this bad boy with tree sap.

Nature's glue.

I would beg you to not make this more difficult,

but I fear you've already gone too far down this weird, unnecessary road.

It's been a minute since I used this stuff,

but I'm sure it'll come back to me.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Have we reached the point where we can safely say

it's not going to come back to you?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Yeah, I went a little heavy on the sap.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I guess you could say this is a "sticky" situation.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Wait, I got one.

I guess you could also say

this project has brought us

closer together.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Nice, high-five.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

You know what? Let's just go.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

So, Rihanna still doesn't have

a new album after all this time?

Look, she will release one when she is good and ready.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

So, why do you live here all alone?

I kinda like the peace and quiet.

It's also where my parents live,

and their parents, and their parents before that.

You ever hear of Lewis and Clark?

Yeah.

Those guys left my great-great-great grandfather

for dead on this island.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Not where I thought that was going.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Of course, I inherited the family business.

What's the family business?

[METAL CLANGS]

That. Trapping beavers.

Did you say trapping beavers?

But my friend, the weird cat, is a beaver.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I just trade him to an exotic pet store owner for supplies.

There you are. [CHUCKLES]

Justin Beaver?

Let him go, so he can live his beaver life

with his beaver friends and enjoy his beaver weekends

performing with his beaver a cappella group, The Beaver Tones.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Can't you get supplies another way?

And when you get supplies, can you make sure most of it's deodorant?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Look, I'm trading this beaver

to the pet store and you can't stop me.

Maybe it's time for you kids to skedaddle.

You have made a very powerful enemy today,

despite your use of the word skedaddle,

which usually makes me giggle.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Now, have you ever asked yourself,

"Why do we sit around a fire and make s'mores every night?"

No.

We don't want a fire. It's summer.

It's hot. We can do better.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Check it out.

A camp freeze instead of a campfire.

So you can make...

[BUBBLING]

S'more-sicles.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Roasting marshmallows is so over.

It's time to make camp...

cool again.

Don't do the sunglasses.

Yeah, I felt like a tragedy was happening.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Huh, a camp freeze is actually a great way to beat the summer heat.

Oh, oh, just wait until you try your s'more-sicle.

[CRUNCH]

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

How is it?

[MUMBLING] Oh, it's so good.

I don't wanna ever stop licking it.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

It's stuck to your tongue, isn't it?

What? No, I'm just, I'm favoring the flavor.

[MUMBLES] Yum.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[MUMBLING] Okay, fine, I'm stuck.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Okay, this is hilarious.

And normally, I despise prop comedy.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Ouch!

[SIGHS] I guess I'm never gonna make my mark on summer camp.

[SIGHS]

I'll go talk it out with him,

but it's gonna be really hard not to laugh.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Yeah. Don't give me that look.

I need supplies, and you're a month's worth of toilet paper.

[VOICE BREAKING] I am not getting poison ivy again.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I will not leave this island until I save my friend.

We're going to help you.

We just need a plan.

And I got one.

You guys know how I speak passable beaver.

Really?Do you, though?

I can use it to drop...

you two can grab the pet carrier.

It's a foolproof plan.

Really?

Is it, though?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Here I go. Be ready.

Don't look at me.

My plan was to blow up the island.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[MIMICKING BEAVER CRY]

Ooh, that sounds like one of your pals.

If I catch him, maybe I can get toothpaste this month.

Look at me. Toilet paper and toothpaste.

I'm the mayor of Fancy Town.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[MIMICKING BEAVER CRY]

Huh?

This doesn't sound like any beaver I've heard before.

Uh...

Beaver, beaver, beaver, beaver?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Hey!

What?

You done duped me!

And now it's time for me to skedaddle.

It's such a silly word.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

This is very hard to look at.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

So what? It gets the job done.

Huh!

Dried tree sap, still has a little stick to it.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[GASPS] This is terrible.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

What have I become? I've completely lost my touch.

I might as well be from the suburbs.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

You became the boss, Lou.

You don't have to prove anything to anybody.

You've already built this wonderful place

for kids to spend their summers.

Who cares if you're out of practice

building a place for them to keep their books?

And to be honest, I don't even know why we're doing this.

My Coyotes are not big readers.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I guess you're right.

What are we gonna do with this monstrosity?

Bury it in holy ground so it cannot come back.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Good thinking. I'll make Parker do that.

Delegating. Now you're thinking like a boss.

Seriously?

We're looking right at each other that time.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Hey, how are you doing?

Not great.

Before this hot tea, I tried to ice my hurt tongue.

Totally forgetting how I got here in the first place.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I guess I can add that to my giant pile of fails today.

Okay. I know how to fix this. Come with me.

Are you taking me to the nurse?

Because I am concerned about how smooth my tongue is now.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

And then he water skied with a horse on land.

Didn't go down to his ninth tree,

I think.

I got a C in math, but I bet I could get it up to a B minus.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Look at Lyle.

He's not homesick anymore.

You took that burden off his soon-to-be very hairy shoulders.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I'm so happy my failures could bring him so much joy.

Parker, your legacy isn't going to be inventing some new game

or losing your tongue to frostbite.

It's going to be you.

[MUMBLING] Pretty sweet, right?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[MUMBLING] Let's go swimming.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

He's swimming in the lake?

But he called it a big fish toilet.

It is, actually, we just choose to ignore that grossness.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

You cheered him up.

These kids are how you're going to make your mark.

You bring happiness to every camper you meet.

Wow.

Thank you, Destiny.

I think you're right.

I do have a pretty important job here already.

I'm gonna keep thinking about this

while I go bury a bookcase for Lou.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

BRANCH SHRUB: Give me back my beaver

and my pet carrier, which cost a lot of beavers.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

He's close. We have to keep running.

Wait, I have an idea.

Does it involve me speaking beaver in a Boston accent?

Why would we need that?

I don't know. But if we do,

I just need time to prepare, okay?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[BEAVER CRIES]

[BEAVER CHITTERING]

There you are, my little meal ticket.

[BEAVER CHITTERING]

[CLANGING]

Uh-oh. [YELLS]

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Get me out of here!

It doesn't feel too good getting trapped, does it?

Now imagine if we put you in a cage

and sent you away from this island forever,

how would you like that?

I guess I wouldn't like it very much.

This is the only home I've ever known.

And it's the only home Justin's ever known.

Hey, thanks, little guy.

I'm sorry I tried to send you away.

But how else am I supposed to maintain

my eccentric recluse lifestyle?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I need things like toothpaste and toilet paper.

[CLEARS THROAT] And deodorant.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

I've been thinking about that.

An island of wild beavers is pretty amazing.

What if you turned this island into a preserve?

People could pay money to visit,

then you can buy all the supplies you need.

[CLEARS THROAT] Like deodorant.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Ah. That might be a great idea.

And maybe I could use a little more human interaction.

The trees never remember my birthday.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Aw, look at that cute face.

Okay, let's do the beaver preserve.

Yes.That's awesome.

Skedaddle.

Never gets old.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Thanks for your help.

Now that we're friends, I want you to know

my real name isn't Branch Shrub.

It's Twig Thompson.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Oh. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Much better.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Hey, don't be strangers. Next time you visit,

you can tell me all about what's going on in town.

Last time I was there, I saw that they turned

the First National Bank of Dusty Tush Railways into a video store.

[CHUCKLES]

The bank on the clue became the video store?

He may have just helped us find

the lost treasure of Dusty Tush.

Wicked beaver!

Oh, guess I didn't need any practice after all.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

No, I'm not wrong.

A campfire in the summer really is too warm.

Whoa, dude, don't be so negative.

Seriously?

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Destiny has no idea we were ever gone.

Noah doesn't suspect anything either.

We totally got away with it.

So, I heard you guys didn't show up

for any of your activities today.

Let me handle this.

It's because we were on a remote island unsupervised,

hanging out with a complete stranger.

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

Did you guys know that your campers played hooky all day today?

BOTH: I thought they were with you.

BOTH: Why would they be with me?

BOTH: You're in so much trouble.

Let me handle this.

BOTH: Please, don't!

[CANNED LAUGHTER]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0