Original subtitles

now that proposal is very important to

the company I realize it my people

realize it now 24 hours a day end of day

tomorrow yeah it will be done yeah no I

know that let me see me Kenneth yeah hey

what's up Mike good close the door close

the door and sit down yes sir end of day

tomorrow on your desk you have my

personal guarantee Darryl Darryl I need

your help and I don't have a lot of time

what the hell's going on here Kevin it's

the proposal the donnelly pipe

initiative it's a mess I mean what's

going on with this what happened to Mike

I apologize look I meant to clean that

up what I need you to do in a nutshell

is to rewrite the donnelly proposed

won't have it back to me by tomorrow

afternoon Mike's version just wasn't up

to par wasn't up to par so you killed

him no Lord no that's not why I killed

him why'd you do it then observe use

reason there's a wooden stake stuck in

his heart now what logical conclusion

would you draw from that Darryl Mike was

a vampire now the intro in the summary

they're really not that bad they just

need to be punched up a bit but

everything in between is just to

complete made you think he was a vampire

when you've been in management as long

as I've been in management you recognize

the signs what signs sleeps in a coffin

drinks blood to survive awkwardness and

social situations that kind of stuff

since when did Mike start drinking blood

who knows could be hundreds of years

have you ever seen him drinking blood

well he had someone a shirt when he came

in here must have dripped while he was

feasting on what I can only assume was

his final victim it's still there we're

on his shirt oh right there on the front

good you'll have to take my word for it

I guess Kevin you don't kill a person

just because they have blood on their

shirt it's not just the shirt Darryl

it's this whole vampire

you're taking the 40 thousand foot view

here when what you've got to do is get

granular with this thing but Kevin

there's no such thing as vampires if

that's true then how come the only way I

could kill him was to drive that wooden

stake through his heart huh did you try

any other ways well know how my Eve do

you think I am he's a vampire a vampire

requires a wooden stake through his

heart now you wouldn't need spaghetti

with a skateboard would you Darryl what

it's a simple question Darryl to which

the logical answer is no you wouldn't

eat spaghetti with a skateboard because

it's the wrong tool for the job but you

need another example let's say you're

painting your house hold on if Mike's a

vampire then how can he live in the

daylight spends all this day in his

cubicle the dull hum and flickering glow

the fluorescent lights well they

actually nourish a vampire the Sun never

hits his body otherwise he'd be reduced

to just a small pile of ashes but does

it he drive in every morning it doesn't

he leave to go home in the afternoon and

depending on the time of the year it's

sunny at least one of those chairs I'm

the boss I'm the last one in and the

first one to leave each day and I've got

to tell you I can't say with any degree

of certainty then Mike ever leaves the

building but didn't you take him to

lunch yesterday at noon I did didn't I

yes

oh my god it's worse than I thought

they've learned to adapt a sunlight man

Kevin you've lost it Mike wasn't a

vampire if he's not a vampire then why

did he recoil in such terror when I

shoved that crucifix in his face huh he

was Jewish look Daryl I'd love to stand

around here and talk with you about

religion but the employee handbook

strictly forbids discussing such a

volatile topic in the workplace it

upsets some people well by the way I'm

gonna need your help to incinerate Mike

squirts one where you going Kevin what

do you saddest set a bullet no yeah it's

a bullet it's just a regular bullet

that's a silver bullet isn't it where

are you going Kevin I've got an LC Larry

and human resources about this whole

Mike think no Larry's a capable HR

manager that he's also a werewolf

there's a full moon tonight I'm not

taking any chances the more I dig into

this thing the more I'm beginning to

realize that Mike was just a low-level

operative in what appears to be a large

network of the curstyn undead here at

berm tech industries human resources now

that's irony you have a business

administration degree right Darryl yes

sir then the irony isn't lost on you is

it no sir all right donnelly initiative

on my desk by tomorrow afternoon

incineration of the diamond Mike's

unearthly husk and say an hour a half

yes sir all right

well Kevin's on to us

you