Original subtitles

Police! Let me see your hands!

Police! Hands up!

The next agent will be right with you.

Are they trying to screw us? How much longer?

They've been probably kicked out on some shitty street corner.

-Why would anyone do that? -What do you want with plants?

-Sell them? -Nobody knows these are drug plants.

They are so expensive. That's why I don't have any.

If you rent a car to move something, you don't have time to sell plants.

Huh? You move the stuff and then sell them.

-It took us like three hours. -Morning.

MoveIt, Sandra speaking. How can I help you?

-We rented a car yesterday. -Not a car, a van!

We rented a van. Our stuff is in there, but the van is gone!

-Hold on. I'll transfer you... -No.

Hello?

Your estimated waiting time is 45 minutes.

-Dude, fuck you! -Bye!

Please check if there's really no office.

-We did. There is no office! -These companies are only online!

Capitalist pigs!

What? It's true!

-Huh? There's an address! -Where?

Wittenau.

Hey, I've had enough of your nonsense.

I've got paperwork. My phone keeps on ringing.

The carwash has been blown up. My cars are all dirty.

-I don't know how to get them clean. -We need this stuff!

I didn't get the app.

It said parking, so I said yes. I didn't know it means logging out.

I can't do anything. You logged out. Someone got in and drove away!

If there's stuff in there, they'll be dropped off here.

Can you check where the van is? Please?

-Okay, how much longer? -250 meters to the left.

-Are you sure it's here? -Must be.

I don't know. There!

-Oh my God. -Okay, stop!

-Get out! -Okay, real quick!

Okay, let's go!

-Fuck! I told you, they were sold. -Damn it!

Maybe they put them somewhere.

-Why? -Let's search!

They have been sold!

-No, man! -Hey, hey, hey!

There they are! Oh my God!

Fuck!

Oh my God!

-How can we get in there? -Let's climb over!

-Be careful! -We got the plants!

-Very good. -Awesome.

Okay, relax. Let's count them.

One, two, three, four...

-How many were there? -12.

-Really? -Yes, I counted them.

-How many? -Only 11.

-What? -One is missing.

-Two, three... -Fuck, that's only 11.

Whatever, let's bring them over.

Can will notice it.

-We have to get there with some. -There is the plant!

-Where? -There! Second floor!

It's the plant!

-Yes, go get her! -Okay!

Yeah! Oh my God!

Over, over, over.

Watch out! Don't break them,

-or I'll break your neck! -I got it. Come on!

-God, they're heavy! -Okay, come on!

Girls, put them back! I don't think these are your plants!

-Mind your own business! -Fuck it!

Are you kidding? That's my backyard!

-We're getting rid of the trash! -Get out or I'll call the police!

Hey! Sorry, you took the plant from downstairs. It's on your balcony.

I need it! It belongs to my grandma.

She just put it... on the street so that it'll get rainwater.

It's important for plants!

She'll die soon and without the plants, she'll die all alone.

-Yes, Cembritski. -Come on!

Cembritski... Well, we got three pigmented fellow citizens.

-Two Turks and one... -What? Because of her black hair?

Look at them! They don't come from Schorfheide.

You're a Nazi, a racist. Nazi!

-Nazi! -As if...

-Now I'm the racist... -You're a Nazi!

You took a plant, which is on your balcony!

It belongs to my grandma.

She'll be dying soon. Nobody knows when.

I need the plant, please.

You never know when. It can be tomorrow, in two days.

Oh, no, you don't have to help me.

Thank you, I just get it. Okay?

Mehmet! Mehmet!

Sure, call your whole clan!

-You coward! -What?

-What's wrong? -Yallah!

Where's Jazz?

-Jazz! -Get a job!

Get a job! You hear me?

Okay, let's go! Come on!

Yallah, yallah, yallah, go!

-Get in! -Watch out! The plant!

Quick!

-Hey, bitch. -Come here.

-What's up? -Take a look at these bitches.

-What's going on? -Can't you see? She's saying,

"I don't want you anymore. I don't want your pussy.

The minute I saw Andrew I knew I need a real dick."

-Shut up. -I think it's pretty obvious.

But I got to run.

-You got to tell me who wins, okay? -Yeah.

-Bye. -Bye-bye.

Yo, I'd like to check out.

Put your keys here. Thanks for your stay.

Real quick. I got this rash.

-The pharmacy's outside on the right. -Cool, thanks. I googled it.

Do you want to take a quick look?

-I think I got it from you. -What do you mean?

I'm sure you have bed bugs.

-Do you wash your sheets? -You sure you haven't had it before?

You sure you want a bad review?

-Then we'd better lock them all up. -Yeah, so from two to seven.

We have to move all the guests,

wash everything in there, not just the bedding.

The exterminator is coming. It shouldn't take longer than a day.

I'll start at two, you at seven and we'll meet in the middle.

-Okay, cool. -Okay.

-Is everything okay? -Sure.

You know, with your dad and everything.

I don't know.

It's just all a bit too much, you know?

The thing with my dad, my mom isn't doing great.

Nina isn't there. She's working all the time.

She's got this blog that has to be online in 24 hours.

She doesn't have time for anything else.

It's just... I'm all over the place...

-It's a lot right now. -Come here.

Sorry. Fuck.

-Sorry, sorry, sorry. -No, I'm sorry.

No, you don't have to be sorry.

Not because of Nina, but because...

I should have told you, but somehow I didn't...

Nina and I have a polyamorous relationship.

Mm. So you have an open relationship?

Mm... something like that.

It's like, I find you great... and I'd like to date you.

But I'm also with Nina.

-Okay. Does she know about it? -Sure!

I tell her everything.

We talk about everything. I just think about you all night.

When I wake up, I talk to Nina about it over breakfast.

-It sounds strange, but it works. -Okay.

There's this reading about polyamory at the piano hall this week.

I was going to invite you, so if you want, come along.

Then you'll hear about it and you'll understand it more.

Yes. Let's do it. I have a lot of questions.

Good. Good... Good?

-Thank you. -You're welcome. Bye.

-Whoa! Hajra! -Hey! What's up?

How was your weekend?

It was amazing! And yours?

-Yeah, easy. -Yeah?

Did you close the cash register?

What's up?

Nothing. You just rock!

Okay, cool.

I was thinking... We've been working together for a few days.

-Right? -Mm.

It's fun, isn't it? It's fun.

-Yes, it's fun. Yep. -Yes, it's fun.

I just thought...

We found common ground. I'd like to share something with you.

Something that stays between us, between me and you.

-Mm-hm. -Okay?

-Yes, cool. -Sure?

-Yes. -Okay, cool. Hold on a second.

Come on. I'll show you something.

What do you see?

-A fridge. -Hajra, look closer.

I don't know. It's broken.

-What is it? -A secret entrance.

Come on. I'll show you.

And? What do you say?

Brother, that's crazy!

Is it your basement?

I don't know. It used to be a boiler room.

When I took over the store, I found this.

-Wow, crazy. -Isn't it?

I want to show you something else.

-My babies. -Oh, plants.

Eagle eye? Crazy!

Mimosa hostilis.

Are those like drug plants?

Yeah, DMT, have you heard of it? Ayahuasca shaman shit.

-No. -A princess...

So demanding!

But overly fascinating, if you deal with them.

-You know what I'm wondering? -Nah.

Look, this one. This... is not a Mimosa hostilis.

How did this ugly Ikea plant get into this storeroom?

-We have to tell you something. -We?

You thought I was a badass drug dealer?

That's why you came and talked about Olek and Malek.

-Right? -Yes.

When we noticed it wasn't like this. We started to plan the party.

We'd have never done it.

Then we just wanted your plants to be safe,

so that the drinkers didn't destroy them.

When we saw that location, we couldn't help it...

-The location is perfect. -Awesome!

-It's sick. -I don't understand a word!

You wanted to do these parties without telling me?

I just got this place.

My dad will skin me if they shut this place down.

Sorry, but you can forget about the parties!

Yeah, man, sorry...

Unless...

I'm also involved!

-Safe! -Hold on. Hold on. Hold, on!

I get 60% of the party revenues.

-60% is too much! -Let's divide it by five. That's 20%.

It's my store. I'm responsible!

I'm screwed at the end! 40%, final offer!

-Okay 33! -Deal?

You get your share...

-No, man! No. -He's right.

-His store, his risk! -Cool, that we can do it!

Okay, 40%.

Okay, one thing... The plants...

My babies. If we want parties, they can't be there!

But don't put them in a van!

We can't put them at my place. My dad will kill me!

So, where do we put them?

-I can't. What can I say? -Me neither.

My family is at home!

And I'm crashing at Jazz's.

No way!

You can't afford any. Now you get them for free.

They are so beautiful!

No, man! No way!

No drug plants at my place!

Dude, are you crazy? You just can't come to my apartment.

You gave me a key.

Dude, that's creepy! You can't just come and go whenever you want!

Just call before, but not before 11!

I have to harvest the plants and start early. It's a lot!

-I thought you weren't selling them. -Yes, but I must harvest them.

-It's an organism. I keep it going. -Yes. Shh!

-Hello? -Jessica Staupe?

-Yes? -Nevin, Henning Jung's assistant.

-You met at the dance audition. -Yes, I know.

It didn't work out with the job, but Henning wants to meet you.

He was thrilled about you. I'm calling about a job offer.

Henning wants to meet you. Would 4:00 p.m. today work?

Okay, well, I just have to check my schedule.

I've got many appointments. It's really full.

But I just saw that I have a bit of time at four.

Great, I'll send you the details.

-Okay, nice. Bye. -Okay, bye.

-Are you a dancer? -Yeah, don't I look like one?

Yes, you can see it, the way you move.

-Don't exaggerate! -No!

It's mega cool.

You're doing it professionally.

You've got it going on, huh?

Yeah. Can you make me a coffee? I need to pee.

He's so annoying with his plants.

But he brought me coffee today.

-Really? A real gentleman! -Yes.

I swear, he'll make salad tomorrow.

-Who wants this? -That's what he said!

He talked about calories!

-I have to go in here. You want this? -Yes.

-Okay, see you later. Have fun. -Thank you.

-Rasaq, let's talk for a minute. -What do you want?

-Your sister mentioned your physio. -I don't have time!

Listen to me. Listen to me! I'm getting out. I want out.

-Okay. I can't trust you. -Let me show you that you can.

Honestly, Hatam, I'm sick of you!

-You don't know anything! -You weren't available. I tried.

-You lied to me! -Give me a chance!

I want us to build something without that shit!

-For us? I want to be there. -Yes!

What?

-I want to hear when you get out. -What?

You want my trust back!

Do you think I can just take you with me?

Either you take me with you or you can leave me alone!

Hello.

I never thought that at my young age it would be difficult to sit quietly.

But that's how it is when you almost die,

because of a few bags of coffee powder.

If I had private insurance, I could get tissue-renewing injections

into my knee to revitalize the whole structure.

You've got beautiful hair. Don't I know you from somewhere?

Ah, yes. Parking deck, bowling night.

Your man knocked out my knee. I just wanted to bowl.

-I woke up with a bad leg! -You're pissed because we let you in?

You told us to run away. Sorry about your leg.

It's okay.

I had... I had...

I saw you two lovebirds at the entrance.

You and your dumb prince!

You had a quarrel.

I hope you came back to reality. I've got some bad news!

The Russians are looking for your man!

One text message and he's dead!

Luckily, I'm a relaxed transhumanist. Give me the pen.

I'll write down my number

and then you can contact me, so he won't get killed!

The Kalle way, relaxed. It suits my nature.

-Rasaq? -She'll be right there.

Don't say a word or the Russians will take care of it.

Okay? I'll see you around. Have fun.

-Hey Jessica. -Hey.

-Good to see you. -Jazz.

Jazz, I'm Henning.

Sorry it was spontaneous, but I'm glad you could make it.

-Are you thirsty? -Alcohol?

-They have it. What do you want? -Margerita.

Jenny, one margarita, please!

I'll get right to it. I'm fascinated by you.

It's crazy, what you did! You were so brave.

Nobody told you what to do. Your attitude was real!

I haven't seen that often.

People puke and sweat during auditions,

but that was just awesome. Really.

Okay, I have to admit, your dancing wasn't enough for the project!

But you went up against women who've been dancing since they were two.

They dance five days a week, but I watched your channel.

That subway video? Are you kidding? That's amazing!

I figured out why I didn't work out!

You don't share the stage with the others!

You need it to yourself, then you'll be the star!

They have to build it for you and that's it!

That brings me to the next point. I have a commercial in two days.

I'd love to cancel the talent I have and take you. I want you to do it.

So, if you want to do it as well, you have the job!

That's it? You just say you have another talent

and I get the job without an audition?

Basically, yes. Look, it's like this.

The client has a product. He doesn't know how to make it cool.

I came in and make it cool! I turn it into art and a big movie!

They don't care how I do it.

I know that with you on board, it'd be like Hollywood.

It's paid well, so, if you want...

Okay, sounds good.

-Right? -What kind of commercial?

It's for a mop.

A mop?

-You're doing commercials! -Dude, congratulations!

It's crazy... Yes!

It's a mop commercial?

Mop, rag, whatever... I worked six months for that!

-Para is Para. -You're right!

When I have the money, we'll go on a real trip in a limo.

In a limo and it's on me!

-Upgrade! -With a minibar!

-A shot at every traffic light. -You'll pass out on the third.

I want to look out of this window!

Yeah, like last time!

-Cheers to your job! -Yes, cheers!

-I love you. -You too.

Congratulations! That's great!

Okay, shall we set up everything? I have to study...

-Let's chill for a while. -I don't have time.

Hey, Ras...

Take us somewhere!

Where should I take us? To the North Sea?

-What do you think? No! -Where?

I want to go to Cuba.

-It takes more than three days! -Cuba's too far!

-Somewhere with sea! -Hawaii! I want coconuts on my tits!

-Okay! Let's go to Hawaii! -Close the door!

Let's go to a beach party!

-I can hear the music! -We'll get piña coladas!

I swear I can smell the ocean. Do you smell it?

Awesome!

-Did I tell you what Zadie said? -What?

She asked me if I want to be with her.

-Really? -Yes.

And what did you say?

I don't know. She has a polyamorous relationship with Nina.

-Poly... what? -Polyamorous.

-What's that? -It means...

she's with Nina, but also wants to be with me.

-But Nina knows about it. -Hippie-ish, everyone with everyone?

No, isn't it more like Zadie has two relationships,

one with Fanta and one with Nina?

Wait. I'll google it to get the facts.

I don't share my plate when I'm hungry!

Huh? You don't have to share!

-Or are you into Nina? -No!

Okay, listen...

"Polyamorous relationships are based on the intention

to create long-term and trusting relationships with each other."

We have that kind of relationship.

-So it's without sex? -No.

I wasn't done. It's with sex, but... it's not everybody with everybody.

Zadie can have sex with Fanta and with Nina!

-She's having two relationships. -No way you'd do it!

You're number one! It's all or nothing!

Fanta, you're a dream woman! Don't do that.

-That's how I see it, too. -I'd be too jealous.

Huh, why? She can try it out.

I already can't handle it.

Fanta, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

-Yallah, we're here. Get out! -Nope!

We have to set everything up!

-Strictest mother in the world! -I swear.

-Dude, Haj, can you help Fanta? -No.

Give me those.

-Take these bottles, too. -Yep.

-Hey, Ras, you too. -Get out!

PROGNATHISM DENTAL CROWDING

PRACTICE ORGANIZATION AND MANAGEMENT

Hey, it's Rasaq.

When can we talk?

Why petrol? Do you want to burn us down?

No, I use it to get alkaloids out of the lye, the DMT.

That's why.

-What is DMT? -It's called dimethyltryptamine.

It is a hallucinogen, among other things.

It's the same substance the body secretes just before death.

I can't describe it. You have to experience it yourself.

It's like trying to explain a color you've never seen before.

So, a friend of mine knew afterwards what his purpose in life was.

Do you know your purpose?

Yeah. Let's say I'm working on it.

-Shall we shoot one? -You don't shoot it. You smoke it!

-Like crack? -Crack. Yes.

-Yeah, okay. -Okay. You ready?

-Yeah, safe! -Dude, that's not how it works.

The surroundings must be right. Be prepared, the vibe...

Why? What's wrong with our vibe?

-I love our vibe. -Good, me too.

You must prepare mentally.

You're confronted with your subconscious.

Things come up. You could be psychotic. What do I do then?

I'm not psychotic.

I know this psycho shit. I can handle it.

-I swear. -We'll do it for sure!

-Good. -But not now.

Cool.

Cool.

Mr. Jung? Jessica Staupe is here.

-Hey, how are you? Get here okay? -Hey.

-It was nice. -Getting picked up in such a car?

-There were drinks in the back. -You took some?

-For sure! -I'll show you the set. It's crazy!

-Looks cool, right? -Yeah...

I imagined it differently.

-What do you mean different? -Cleaner.

The pool is usually clean. Now it's dirty.

The mop comes and everything shines! Bam!

The customer is convinced!

-Do I have to clean it? -A bit of cleaning, a bit of dancing.

Then the slogan. "It's that simple." And done!

As long as I don't dance with the mop.

Sit down.

Tell me. What's upsetting you?

I think it's embarrassing.

Dancing with a mop is embarrassing, you know?

I feel... like I've been thrown into an empty pool.

I understand.

I think it's embarrassing to dance with a mop. I've never done it.

But the thing is, if you do it, then it's cool!

That makes the product cool, too, you know?

I have another idea.

I dance in the pool and at the end of the commercial the mop comes in

and bam! The mop.

Good idea, but it's about market research

and emotional ties to the product, not to the protagonist.

You must have it in your hand. You can throw it away. You're free.

Nobody dictates anything. Just do your thing.

Yes?

-I can do what I want? -100%.

The cops busted my carwash.

That was my main source of income. Now I'm not that liquid.

The deal with the Golden Girls went to shit,

because your guy shot my legs off!

Now I've got problems! Thank God you're boosting the economy!

-What do you want? -Nothing.

Here's my offer. Save the lives of two people

with 3,000 per week for a month and a half!

-Have you ever changed cash? -Changed cash?

By hand. Or are you a credit card fetishist?

You only have to change the dirty bills for regular cash.

Nobody cares if it's a real $50 bill, or a fake one.

What no one cares about is halal.

Where am I supposed to do that?

Hatam has quite a few branches. They make a lot of profit.

Where cash is involved, you change the fake bills for the real ones.

I can't do that!

But the Russians can do one thing well!

Make sure death separates you before you say yes to each other.

Spidi, dinner's ready!

-Kalle, is there no other way? -No!

I like you. You have love. You're loyal to your man.

I didn't have that! But we live in a capitalistic world of make-believe.

Okay? And you're in the prime of your life!

There's no one who knows more about counterfeit money than you.

Do it or you'll lose your heart!

That would be a shame...

Did Pastor Jo settle it for 45,000 euros?

Yes. Nice, right?

I think he's got about 3,000 to 4,000 euros for himself.

Whatever! It's mine now. It's mine!

We can keep it. I'll sell it and get some cash.

Of course! That's where we do the hair!

-Mirror, table, chairs. -I thought we'd do it there.

There's more space, a whole wall, three chairs, perfect.

Yes, that's a good idea.

But I was thinking shelves,

all the hair care products, something to eat.

-People are sitting here. -Nice.

Right? There goes a loudspeaker, there, there...

Hold on. Just open a club!

They want to do their hair and go! They don't want to wait two hours!

People should have a good time. I'll set it up and you help me carry.

Aye, aye, sir.

-All of this? -That's only half of it!

Man...

Jazz. Ten out of ten. It was great!

How did you like it?

-Huh? -I don't know?

What? What's wrong?

It was a bit embarrassing.

No. What is it? Is something wrong with the set?

It was just cheesy.

Melli, give us five minutes.

Thank you.

It was cheesy?

What was cheesy?

It was somehow a bit like Bibi Blocksberg.

It's good that I didn't let you fly away on that mop!

I know what you mean. I get you. It's just a mop.

It's not cool, but you sold it in a cool way. That's important!

You got the credits and now 18 year olds will buy it.

They talk to their moms and want to mop up!

I swear. You did a great job. It continues from there.

The thing is, you know, with that dancing,

I want to be taken seriously.

I take you seriously.

No, I want to be taken seriously with dancing.

That's why I want that training.

-Look, we're honest. -Yes.

I'll just say it once and you decide. You do your thing. That's great.

But what do you want with that dance training?

You get a few gigs a month at Friedrichsstadpalast.

You'll be a tree, third row.

If you're lucky, maybe you'll get to play a cloud.

I saw someone playing a match.

-Redhead, stands around, not cool. -Dude!

A mop is cooler than a match.

It continues from there.

I'll just open the door. We can go through it.

We can go on and on, New York,

south of France, Africa, wherever you want. Easy money.

We see the world, establishing you as a brand.

You have the attitude. You look gorgeous.

You don't put up with everything. That's what people are looking for.

We can make it and then you can decide what you want to do.

You can be an actress or a top model. Your face will be everywhere.

-But I want to be a dancer. -Then be a dancer!

You can get a coach, or you can go to Broadway!

That's the way. When people know you, if they know,

they'll go there because of you.

-Okay. -Okay?

I've got a new client.

-For what? -I won't say it. Maybe you're not in.

Do you want to do it with me?

-If you want, I'll suggest you. -Yes?

-I'd do that. -What for? A toilet brush?

-Toilet paper. -Fuck you, man!

I was just kidding!

No, it's cool. Really. It's a great client!

I swear, you'll be proud.

I can't say it, top secret, but it looks good.

Okay, I'll give you one more chance.

-One last chance? Okay. -Last chance.

-I'll suggest you. It was cool today. -Nice.

I'll keep it. One day it'll be worth a lot!

Awesome.

-Haj, there's already a few here! -Your beer!

Thank you.

-Okay with the cash register? -Everything's easy.

Come on in.

Welcome.

-Thank you. -Have fun!

Thank you, this way!

Through the fridge, please!

Sorry, we're full!

Sorry, guys! What do you want me to do?

Get the fuck out of here, please.

-Can, bro, the cops. -Fuck!

-Down, down, down! -Yallah, get down.

Fanta!

Fanta!

The cops!

Hey, guys be quiet! The cops are here.

-Please be quiet, guys! -Shut up!

The cops are upstairs!

Yo, we can go on!

That's mine.

Hello?

No, it's okay. Can and I will do the rest.

Okay, I'm going now.

-Ras, cash register? -Yes, I can do it.

WOULD BE NICE IF YOU WERE THERE NEXT WEEKEND!

LOOKS COOL. WHERE IS IT?

Translation: Julia Kunst Iyuno