All language subtitles for My Favorite Martian (1999) [720p]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:22,905 [Man] Mars surface ops, this is Houston. We're go for data. 2 00:00:23,031 --> 00:00:27,243 [Man #2] Copy, Houston. Base pedal temp good. Remote pedal actuator good. 3 00:00:27,368 --> 00:00:31,789 Probe primary and auxiliary transponders a-okay. 4 00:00:31,956 --> 00:00:34,417 Shunt voltage three zero. 5 00:00:34,542 --> 00:00:39,505 [Man #1] D.S.N. uplink rate is now 61.101. 6 00:00:39,631 --> 00:00:41,674 Copy. We'll see if we can better that for you. 7 00:00:41,799 --> 00:00:43,843 This is the probe's 8 00:00:43,968 --> 00:00:46,179 We need all the data we can get. 9 00:00:46,304 --> 00:00:51,309 Uh, standby. We're getting a low current level here. 10 00:00:51,434 --> 00:00:54,979 Voltage is down to, uh, 185. 11 00:00:55,104 --> 00:00:58,775 [Man #2] Here's our rock, fellas. One-one-niner. 12 00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:01,027 -Beautiful. -There it is again. There it is again. 13 00:01:01,152 --> 00:01:04,364 Voltage down to 113. 14 00:01:04,489 --> 00:01:06,532 -Can you repo the solar arrays? -[Man #2] Uh, negative. 15 00:01:06,658 --> 00:01:08,868 M.P.C. load is critical. 16 00:01:08,993 --> 00:01:11,120 -[Beeping] -Mars surface ops, 17 00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:14,290 -We're losing the signal here! -[Crackling] 18 00:01:14,415 --> 00:01:19,379 Roger that. Transmission terminated. 19 00:01:19,504 --> 00:01:22,382 -Well, people, congratulations. -[Smattering Of Applause] 20 00:01:22,507 --> 00:01:25,843 We collected data on over a dozen new rocks. 21 00:01:25,969 --> 00:01:30,974 I'd say this was five years and three trillion dollars well spent! 22 00:01:31,099 --> 00:01:34,978 [Cheering] 23 00:01:36,354 --> 00:01:39,399 [Brakes Screeching] 24 00:01:39,524 --> 00:01:42,026 [Horn Honking] 25 00:01:52,870 --> 00:01:55,206 [Tires Squealing] 26 00:02:07,552 --> 00:02:10,179 [Grunts] 27 00:02:10,305 --> 00:02:12,265 [Grunts] 28 00:02:16,978 --> 00:02:19,897 Come on, gentlemen, keep up with me. I want an exclusive... 29 00:02:20,023 --> 00:02:22,066 with that policeman who was in the Santa Barbara shootout. 30 00:02:22,191 --> 00:02:24,110 -I'll take it. -Glad you could make it, O'Hara. 31 00:02:24,235 --> 00:02:26,779 Prescott, it's yours. Take Harrison and camera car five. 32 00:02:26,904 --> 00:02:29,115 I want it for the 6:00. It's no good at 10:00. You got that? 33 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,118 -It's no good at 10:00. -What are you, a parrot? Get movin'. 34 00:02:32,243 --> 00:02:35,747 I want footage of that 1st Monument Bank that got knocked off down in Oxnard. 35 00:02:35,872 --> 00:02:37,790 -I'm all over it. -Van Gundy? 36 00:02:37,915 --> 00:02:40,043 -Sir! -And get that security camera's 37 00:02:40,168 --> 00:02:42,295 -Yeah, mm-hmm. -No tape, no story. 38 00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:45,048 You got it, boss. Whatever you say, boss. 39 00:02:45,173 --> 00:02:49,469 I like Van Gundy. I need something on that 40 00:02:49,594 --> 00:02:51,971 -Well, that's me. I know Vandenberg, chief. 41 00:02:52,096 --> 00:02:54,599 Who are you, Clark Kent? Felix, it's yours. 42 00:02:54,724 --> 00:02:57,143 Get interviews with all the top brass involved. 43 00:02:57,268 --> 00:03:00,396 Oh, take Brace with you. It's a good story for her to cut her teeth on. 44 00:03:00,521 --> 00:03:04,317 Brace? Are you sure? Because I usually produce Brace's on-camera segments. 45 00:03:04,442 --> 00:03:08,154 We're a team. I mean, we're more than a team. Brace and I are-- 46 00:03:08,279 --> 00:03:10,865 You and my daughter are what? 47 00:03:15,244 --> 00:03:18,915 -Um, nothing. -That's right. 48 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,834 I didn't send Brace to all those fancy English boarding schools... 49 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,296 to wind up with the likes of you. 50 00:03:25,421 --> 00:03:29,509 Oh, O'Hara, I've got something here that's right up your alley. 51 00:03:29,634 --> 00:03:32,845 A senior citizens' tanning contest being held tomorrow at Sunset Pier. 52 00:03:32,971 --> 00:03:35,974 The Hawaiian Tropic Senior Cocoa Butter Classic. 53 00:03:36,099 --> 00:03:38,518 -Huh? -[Reporters Laughing] 54 00:03:38,643 --> 00:03:40,770 I want footage of all the old farts baking, 55 00:03:40,895 --> 00:03:45,316 an interview with the doctor on the dangers of sunbathing, yadda, yadda. 56 00:03:45,441 --> 00:03:50,113 Something to fill time if my idiot weatherman runs short. 57 00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:55,493 Mr. Channing? Mr. Channing? Excuse me. Sir? 58 00:03:55,618 --> 00:04:00,540 You hired me because I had ten years' experience as a newspaper reporter. 59 00:04:00,665 --> 00:04:04,544 Now, I will go to the ends of the Earth to bring you a great story. 60 00:04:04,669 --> 00:04:07,714 But I need the chance. 61 00:04:07,839 --> 00:04:12,802 You know, Tim, when I look at you, I see myself at your age. 62 00:04:12,927 --> 00:04:15,722 -Really? -And I was a moron! 63 00:04:15,847 --> 00:04:19,225 -Huh. -But you got a lot of nerve, 64 00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:21,894 Sometimes. Okay, it's yours. 65 00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:24,355 -B-B-B-But you said-- -Shut up, Felix. 66 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,691 You won't-- You won't regret this, sir. You really won't. 67 00:04:26,816 --> 00:04:31,154 O'Hara! You screw up this Vandenberg thing, you're fired. Is that clear? 68 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:34,490 Yeah. Crystal. 69 00:04:34,699 --> 00:04:36,576 [Man Over Loudspeaker] Attention, all personnel. 70 00:04:36,701 --> 00:04:38,870 We are T minus five minutes and counting. 71 00:04:38,995 --> 00:04:41,748 We're here at the Vandenberg Air Force Base, where for the first time, 72 00:04:41,873 --> 00:04:44,334 -Cut. Brace? -the shuttle Atlantis 73 00:04:44,459 --> 00:04:47,253 -Sweetie, could we lose the gum? -Billy! 74 00:04:47,378 --> 00:04:49,339 Excuse me, Sergeant. 75 00:04:49,464 --> 00:04:51,424 -[Spits] -I love show business. 76 00:04:51,549 --> 00:04:53,760 Yeah, okay. Everybody back to one, please. Here we go. 77 00:04:53,885 --> 00:04:58,890 Same thing. In five, four, three, two-- 78 00:04:59,015 --> 00:05:00,933 We're here at Vandenberg Air Force Base. 79 00:05:01,059 --> 00:05:03,353 -We're here at Vandenberg Air Force Base, 80 00:05:03,478 --> 00:05:07,357 where just minutes from now, the shuttle Atlantis will be 81 00:05:07,482 --> 00:05:09,442 -on the west coast. -I understand that Project Deadhead... 82 00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:13,780 I understand that Project Deadhead is carrying a sophisticated satellite... 83 00:05:13,905 --> 00:05:17,533 -to study the Fiona comet. -to study the Fiona comet. 84 00:05:17,659 --> 00:05:20,620 Yes, the satellite has a specialized guidance system... 85 00:05:20,745 --> 00:05:24,082 which will allow it to pass closer to the comet than ever before. 86 00:05:24,207 --> 00:05:26,125 Yeah, yeah. Is Jerry Garcia on board? 87 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:28,419 What? 88 00:05:28,544 --> 00:05:31,714 Is Jerry Garcia on board? 89 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:35,426 Is Jerry Garcia on board? 90 00:05:35,551 --> 00:05:38,721 -Well, yes, actually. -Yes! 91 00:05:38,846 --> 00:05:41,474 Project Deadhead gets its name from the fact... 92 00:05:41,599 --> 00:05:45,144 that its payload includes the ashes of famous rocker... 93 00:05:45,269 --> 00:05:47,313 Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead. 94 00:05:47,438 --> 00:05:49,482 How in the world did you know that? 95 00:05:49,607 --> 00:05:52,318 -It's my job to know that. -It's my job to know these things. 96 00:05:52,443 --> 00:05:54,988 Well. 97 00:05:58,950 --> 00:06:03,538 [Cheering, Applause] 98 00:06:13,256 --> 00:06:16,968 -Okay, Lizzie, go to Brace. -[Cheering Continues] 99 00:06:17,093 --> 00:06:19,679 All right, Brace, here we go. The big wrap-up. 100 00:06:19,804 --> 00:06:22,932 -And so, on this the night of the Fiona Comet, 101 00:06:23,057 --> 00:06:25,685 the night of the Fiona Comet, our thoughts turn... 102 00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:29,188 to that satellite's only passenger-- Jerry Garcia. 103 00:06:29,314 --> 00:06:33,484 -I'm Brace Channing-- -I'm Brace Channing for KGSC. 104 00:06:33,609 --> 00:06:35,820 -Thank you, Captain Dalton. -Thank you. 105 00:06:35,945 --> 00:06:40,366 -God, you're beautiful. -God, you're beautiful. 106 00:06:40,491 --> 00:06:44,996 -[Gasps] -Thank you. So are you. 107 00:06:45,121 --> 00:06:47,165 [Exhales] And we're out. 108 00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:51,377 -Tim, I'd like a word with you. -And I'm dead. 109 00:06:52,795 --> 00:06:56,215 -Colonel? -Yes? 110 00:06:56,341 --> 00:06:59,719 -You might want to take a look at this, sir. 111 00:06:59,844 --> 00:07:02,889 -So what? -It's changing direction, sir. 112 00:07:03,014 --> 00:07:06,059 That's impossible. Are you sure it's not the trajectory of our own satellite? 113 00:07:06,184 --> 00:07:09,729 Yes, sir. Uh, the comet's just changed direction again, sir. 114 00:07:09,854 --> 00:07:12,148 -It's gotta be the equipment. -I've got down line confirmation. 115 00:07:12,273 --> 00:07:15,318 No, sir. Our backup computers verify all systems go. 116 00:07:15,443 --> 00:07:18,237 It's-- It's coming down, sir. 117 00:07:18,363 --> 00:07:22,241 -The satellite? -No, sir. The comet. 118 00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:24,410 Okay, let's go to general alert. 119 00:07:24,535 --> 00:07:26,496 -Major, scramble the F-16s. -Yes, sir! 120 00:07:26,621 --> 00:07:28,665 -Sergeant, get SETI group on the line. -Copy that. 121 00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:31,834 Showtime, boys. We got ourselves a U.F.O. 122 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,546 Excuse me. 123 00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:39,008 -What's this? -It's Capt. Dalton's telephone number. 124 00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:42,095 Well, he's not really my type, but-- 125 00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:44,764 -You made me look such an idiot. -Brace, come on. 126 00:07:44,889 --> 00:07:47,934 -Let me explain. -Just wait until I tell my daddy. 127 00:07:48,059 --> 00:07:50,603 -No, Br-- Brace, come on! -Billy! 128 00:07:50,728 --> 00:07:52,689 -Wait a minute! Look, I-- -Nice knowin' ya. 129 00:07:52,814 --> 00:07:55,400 Ooh-hoo. Let us know where you end up. 130 00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:58,069 -[Sighs] -It wasn't a complete disaster. 131 00:07:58,194 --> 00:08:00,405 Oh, compared to what? 132 00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,448 -The Hindenburg? -[Chuckles] 133 00:08:02,573 --> 00:08:05,284 Titanic. I'm sorry, pal. 134 00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:07,704 [Chuckles] Thanks. Thanks a lot. 135 00:08:07,829 --> 00:08:09,956 Sorry. 136 00:08:19,048 --> 00:08:22,427 The blues kept knockin' upon my door 137 00:08:22,552 --> 00:08:24,429 -[Radio Stations Changing] -[Voice On Radio] 138 00:08:24,554 --> 00:08:27,473 I said up, not out of joint! 139 00:08:27,598 --> 00:08:30,810 We're goin' down! 140 00:08:30,935 --> 00:08:34,147 -Mayday! Mayday! -Oh, not another ticket. 141 00:08:34,272 --> 00:08:36,274 [Engine Roaring] 142 00:08:42,363 --> 00:08:47,160 -Whoa! -[Tires Squealing] 143 00:08:47,285 --> 00:08:51,497 [Electronic Bleeping] 144 00:09:01,049 --> 00:09:03,051 [Breathing Heavily] 145 00:09:05,470 --> 00:09:08,014 [Gasps] 146 00:09:08,139 --> 00:09:10,350 -[Tires Screeching] -Aaah! 147 00:09:10,475 --> 00:09:13,186 Are you crazy? You could have totaled my car! 148 00:09:13,311 --> 00:09:15,271 -Did you see it? Did you see it? -See what? 149 00:09:15,396 --> 00:09:17,440 [Stammering] There was a crash. A plane or some-- 150 00:09:17,565 --> 00:09:19,525 It was like a stealth fighter! I don't know! 151 00:09:19,651 --> 00:09:23,363 -It happened so fast! -Oh, my God, a plane crash! 152 00:09:23,488 --> 00:09:26,866 Well, that's terrible! We don't even have any video! 153 00:09:26,991 --> 00:09:29,619 Good! It's over here. 154 00:09:29,744 --> 00:09:32,372 -[Brace] Tim, wait for me! -Humans. 155 00:09:32,497 --> 00:09:36,751 -Wait, not so fast! It's my story too, remember? 156 00:09:42,757 --> 00:09:45,551 -[Tim] What was that? -[Brace] Hmm? What was what? 157 00:09:45,677 --> 00:09:48,137 It was this flicker, this-- this light that-- 158 00:09:48,262 --> 00:09:51,140 -Never mind. -What, Tim? 159 00:09:51,265 --> 00:09:54,227 Tim, wait! Oh, my heel! 160 00:09:54,352 --> 00:09:57,146 These are really expensive shoes, you know! 161 00:09:59,482 --> 00:10:02,568 -[Gasps] -[Breathing] 162 00:10:02,694 --> 00:10:04,737 Come on, Tim, where is it? 163 00:10:04,862 --> 00:10:07,991 It was this huge thing! It was this-- 164 00:10:08,116 --> 00:10:11,744 You know, it's really creepy out here. 165 00:10:11,869 --> 00:10:15,081 [Grunting] Ow! 166 00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:19,877 Tim? 167 00:10:20,003 --> 00:10:23,840 -You've got 30 seconds and I'm leaving! -Hmm. 168 00:10:23,965 --> 00:10:26,843 [Mumbling] 169 00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:31,597 [Groans] 170 00:10:31,723 --> 00:10:33,850 -Look at this. -[Screams] What's that? 171 00:10:33,975 --> 00:10:36,561 I don't know. I-I-- I don't know. 172 00:10:36,686 --> 00:10:40,523 -Is this your idea of a joke? -No, I swear to you-- look at-- 173 00:10:40,648 --> 00:10:44,527 Oh, really? And I thought you were one of the normal ones! 174 00:10:44,652 --> 00:10:47,613 -[Alien Breathing Heavily] -I am one of the normal ones, normally. 175 00:10:47,739 --> 00:10:50,074 [Scoffs] Ha ha ha. 176 00:10:50,199 --> 00:10:53,786 [Scoffs] Nice try, Tim. 177 00:10:53,911 --> 00:10:57,915 You and me, alone on the beach, on the night of a lunar eclipse, no less. 178 00:10:58,041 --> 00:11:00,960 -I didn't make this up! -Keep this as a memento 179 00:11:01,085 --> 00:11:03,630 Last date? We haven't even had our first date! 180 00:11:03,755 --> 00:11:06,299 -[Engine Starting] -Well, consider this both. 181 00:11:06,424 --> 00:11:09,135 -Brace? Brace! -[Tires Screeching] 182 00:11:11,554 --> 00:11:13,723 [Grunting] 183 00:11:13,848 --> 00:11:16,601 [Grunting] Ahh. 184 00:11:16,726 --> 00:11:20,688 Nurplex. Ay-yi-yi-yi mmm! 185 00:11:28,446 --> 00:11:31,199 [Car Sputtering] 186 00:11:35,453 --> 00:11:39,457 [Inhales Deeply] Humans. 187 00:11:39,582 --> 00:11:42,460 -Come on, come on, come on. -[Engine Sputtering] 188 00:11:46,422 --> 00:11:50,969 -Savages! -[Car Sputters, Turns Over] 189 00:12:08,778 --> 00:12:11,280 [Backfires] 190 00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:18,830 [Car Sputtering, Backfiring] 191 00:12:32,176 --> 00:12:33,970 -Tim! -Aaah! Mrs. Brown. 192 00:12:34,095 --> 00:12:36,806 -Too much lipstick? -Uh, well, 193 00:12:36,931 --> 00:12:39,392 no, no, no, no. 194 00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:42,687 No, it's just that you, uh... 195 00:12:42,812 --> 00:12:44,897 kind of appeared, that's all. 196 00:12:45,023 --> 00:12:47,233 I saved you some of my special brownies. 197 00:12:47,358 --> 00:12:49,569 Mrs. Brown, brownies. Get it? [Chuckles] 198 00:12:49,694 --> 00:12:51,654 -Yes! That's good. -There you go. 199 00:12:51,779 --> 00:12:54,240 -Thank you very much. -[Chuckles] Did you see the eclipse? 200 00:12:54,365 --> 00:12:57,201 Wasn't it tr�s magnifique? 201 00:12:57,327 --> 00:12:59,579 -Those French tapes are really paying off, aren't they? 202 00:12:59,704 --> 00:13:01,914 -[Chuckles] Thanks for the brownies, Mrs. Brown. 203 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:05,543 Oh, Tim. I wanted to remind you... 204 00:13:05,668 --> 00:13:08,254 about the charity rummage sale this weekend. 205 00:13:08,379 --> 00:13:11,090 If you have anything you want to donate, leave it 206 00:13:11,215 --> 00:13:13,551 Well, trust me, this will be right on top of the pile. 207 00:13:13,676 --> 00:13:17,221 -Ahh. -Good night, Mrs. Brown. 208 00:13:17,347 --> 00:13:21,559 One more thing I wanted to tell you, Tim! Oh, good night, Tim! 209 00:13:21,684 --> 00:13:24,145 [Sighs] 210 00:13:36,741 --> 00:13:39,202 I'm havin' a bad night. 211 00:13:39,327 --> 00:13:42,080 I couldn't agree with ya more completely. 212 00:13:42,205 --> 00:13:45,541 -Shut up. -How do you do it? 213 00:13:45,667 --> 00:13:48,795 -[Answering Machine Beeps] -O'Hara here. Please leave a message. 214 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:53,549 -[Answering Machine Beeps] -Channing here. You're fired. 215 00:13:53,675 --> 00:13:55,927 -Short enough for ya? -[Receiver Clicks] 216 00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:59,222 What more can I say? When you're right, you're right! 217 00:14:00,598 --> 00:14:02,809 [Wheezing] 218 00:14:02,934 --> 00:14:07,897 [Coughing] 219 00:14:19,784 --> 00:14:21,744 [Electronic Whirring] 220 00:14:25,456 --> 00:14:27,709 [Gasps] Hmm. 221 00:14:37,885 --> 00:14:40,763 [Groans] 222 00:14:46,269 --> 00:14:49,772 [Gasps] Stay where you are, little Earth man, 223 00:14:49,897 --> 00:14:51,983 and no harm will come to you. 224 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:55,528 Say, I wish I'd thought of that! 225 00:14:55,653 --> 00:14:59,365 -[Tim] Hello? -What more can I say? 226 00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:01,993 -Be silent. -How do you do it? 227 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,662 I thought I told you to shut up. 228 00:15:04,787 --> 00:15:07,290 I couldn't agree with you more-- [Muffled] 229 00:15:07,415 --> 00:15:09,876 You leave me no choice. 230 00:15:10,001 --> 00:15:13,212 Who's there? I got a gun! 231 00:15:26,351 --> 00:15:30,313 Static. [Groans] 232 00:15:46,287 --> 00:15:51,042 -Hey, buddy. Hey. Hey. -[Moans Softly] 233 00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,419 -Hey! [Grunts] -That's it, Earthling! 234 00:15:53,544 --> 00:15:58,049 -[Grunting] -It's alive! 235 00:15:59,676 --> 00:16:01,386 Hyah! 236 00:16:01,511 --> 00:16:04,889 Okay, you wanna play games? 237 00:16:05,014 --> 00:16:08,935 -Slide through. -I must be going... [Grunts] nuts. 238 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:12,689 [Laughs] One strike, no balls. 239 00:16:12,814 --> 00:16:15,942 Over here, Tiger Woods. [Chuckling] 240 00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:18,236 [Blows Raspberry] Aaah! 241 00:16:18,361 --> 00:16:23,408 -Hey, look-- Jimmy Hoffa. -Leisure suit from hell! 242 00:16:23,533 --> 00:16:26,285 [Whimpering] 243 00:16:26,411 --> 00:16:30,748 -I'm gonna... -Ohh! 244 00:16:30,873 --> 00:16:32,917 mutilate you! 245 00:16:36,421 --> 00:16:39,924 Come on! Show your face... if you have one. 246 00:16:43,428 --> 00:16:46,389 Where-- Where'd he go? 247 00:16:47,932 --> 00:16:53,980 What the heck was in those brownies? 248 00:16:54,105 --> 00:16:56,649 When dealing with primitive life-forms, 249 00:16:56,774 --> 00:16:59,610 sometimes one must resort to primitive acts. 250 00:16:59,736 --> 00:17:02,613 -Are you okay, Zoot? -[Coughing] 251 00:17:02,739 --> 00:17:05,992 If you don't mind my asking, where were you? 252 00:17:06,117 --> 00:17:07,785 Don't be such a wet blanket. 253 00:17:07,910 --> 00:17:10,955 Wait a minute. Leave my mother out of this! 254 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,124 It's your fault we ended up on this no-good, carbon-based, 255 00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:16,252 -over-oxygenated, miserable excuse of a-- 256 00:17:16,377 --> 00:17:18,504 -[Woman] Tim? -Oh, no. It's another one! 257 00:17:18,629 --> 00:17:21,341 I know you're not asleep yet. 258 00:17:21,466 --> 00:17:23,634 Tim, it's Lizzie! 259 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,012 [Gasps] Blotz! It's Lizzie! 260 00:17:26,137 --> 00:17:28,097 What's a Lizzie? 261 00:17:28,222 --> 00:17:31,017 I would say a Model T Ford, but this one has better tires. 262 00:17:31,142 --> 00:17:34,687 -Ah-ooga! Ah-ooga! -I know what a woman is, 263 00:17:34,812 --> 00:17:38,316 Help, Mr. Lifeguard, I'm drowning. I need mouth-to-mouth. 264 00:17:38,441 --> 00:17:40,777 Ugh, saliva exchange. 265 00:17:40,902 --> 00:17:43,529 I would never partake in such an unsanitary interaction. 266 00:17:43,654 --> 00:17:45,990 There must be some other way to greet a female and then be rid of it. 267 00:17:46,115 --> 00:17:48,034 -[Knock On Door] -Tim! 268 00:17:48,159 --> 00:17:50,453 If it was me, I'd be he. 269 00:17:50,578 --> 00:17:53,664 -Tim, please. -Good thinking, Zoot. 270 00:18:12,141 --> 00:18:15,478 Okay, Tim, I'm picking up the hide-a-key. 271 00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:21,442 -Gonna open the door. -[Key Turning] 272 00:18:22,986 --> 00:18:25,822 -Tim? -Lizzie! 273 00:18:25,947 --> 00:18:28,074 My dear friend or family member. 274 00:18:28,199 --> 00:18:30,576 Uh, oh, my gosh. 275 00:18:30,702 --> 00:18:33,579 Oh, inappropriate. 276 00:18:33,705 --> 00:18:38,751 -Oh, boy. -[Zoot] I told you 277 00:18:38,876 --> 00:18:41,879 Lizzie, my dear friend or family member. 278 00:18:42,005 --> 00:18:44,132 You sound funny. Are you catching a cold? 279 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,426 A cold, a virus? [Deep Voice] Yes. 280 00:18:46,551 --> 00:18:48,970 [Voice Changing] A contagious bubonic plague. You better leave. 281 00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,764 What? What in the world-- 282 00:18:51,889 --> 00:18:54,934 Are-- Are you a Trekkie? 283 00:18:55,059 --> 00:18:58,062 Uh, yes, I am. 284 00:18:58,187 --> 00:19:00,607 Okay, what's going on? 285 00:19:00,732 --> 00:19:03,484 -What's going on? -Tim, are you okay? 286 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,903 -You don't seem like yourself. -Oh, I'm Tim, all right. 287 00:19:06,029 --> 00:19:09,115 -Tim O'Hara, no reason to doubt it. -Uh, what's going on? 288 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,617 Lots. 289 00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:19,375 -Mmm. -Mmm. 290 00:19:24,422 --> 00:19:27,133 -Lizzie. -Yeah? 291 00:19:27,258 --> 00:19:30,261 If you're my sister, an explanation is in order. 292 00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:33,514 [Chuckles] Yeah. 293 00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:36,267 -Does this mean that you and I are-- -Indeed. 294 00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:40,104 -Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do, and you... 295 00:19:40,229 --> 00:19:42,315 -need...to go. -Huh? 296 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,526 Wha-- 297 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:51,491 -Human emotions. -Crazy monkeys. 298 00:19:55,286 --> 00:19:57,872 [Humming] 299 00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:02,627 [Siren] 300 00:20:11,302 --> 00:20:15,807 -[Beeping] -[Chattering] 301 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:20,395 Welcome, sir. 302 00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:24,190 Where's Coleye? 303 00:20:24,315 --> 00:20:28,528 Examining mucus-type protoplasm. 304 00:20:30,655 --> 00:20:32,573 Hmm. It's saline-based. 305 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:36,577 Good God, Coleye, put that on a slide next time. 306 00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:40,039 I want this stuff analyzed and the cigarette dusted for prints. 307 00:20:40,164 --> 00:20:44,252 -I want to know whose this was. -There's more, sir. 308 00:20:45,628 --> 00:20:49,382 [Coleye] Quadroped becomes... biped? 309 00:20:49,507 --> 00:20:52,385 It must have taken human form! 310 00:20:52,510 --> 00:20:54,887 The footprints stop at the road. 311 00:20:55,013 --> 00:20:57,015 We think someone may have picked them up. 312 00:20:57,140 --> 00:20:59,517 Evidence of a crash, 313 00:20:59,642 --> 00:21:02,103 no spaceship and alien in human form? 314 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,731 It's just like the incident of '64! 315 00:21:04,856 --> 00:21:07,358 Keep your mouth shut, you idiot. 316 00:21:07,483 --> 00:21:09,736 That incident is not only classified, 317 00:21:09,861 --> 00:21:12,447 but it never happened, you got it? 318 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:16,367 -Yes, sir. -Once again, we have no alien, no U.F.O. 319 00:21:16,492 --> 00:21:18,745 If you can't get me either one, 320 00:21:18,870 --> 00:21:20,872 then you'd better start looking for another job. 321 00:21:20,997 --> 00:21:23,624 Well, you heard him! Move it! It's out there somewhere! 322 00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,752 -So, move it! Go! Move! -Yes, sir! 323 00:21:25,877 --> 00:21:29,922 And God help the poor soul... 324 00:21:30,048 --> 00:21:32,383 who picked him up. 325 00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:44,437 [Screams] 326 00:21:44,562 --> 00:21:46,481 Silence, subculturer! 327 00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:50,777 -Let me down! -Look what you did to me. Barbarian! 328 00:21:50,902 --> 00:21:53,112 -Let me down! -As you wish! 329 00:21:53,237 --> 00:21:55,907 -[Electronic Buzz] -[Screams, Crashes] 330 00:21:56,032 --> 00:21:58,076 [Grunts] 331 00:21:59,911 --> 00:22:03,331 For a thief, you are extremely clumsy. 332 00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:06,960 -Thief? I'm not a thief. -So I see. 333 00:22:07,085 --> 00:22:09,962 Tim O'Hara. You are a reporter. 334 00:22:10,088 --> 00:22:12,632 Reporter? No. I'm a producer, pal! 335 00:22:12,757 --> 00:22:16,010 -Let me tell ya, I-- Aaah! -[Electronic Buzzing] 336 00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:19,972 Look, I didn't steal anything, okay? I don't know what you're talking about. 337 00:22:20,098 --> 00:22:22,642 -All right, all right. -[Electronic Buzzing] 338 00:22:22,767 --> 00:22:25,812 No! No! [Coughing] 339 00:22:25,937 --> 00:22:28,982 Warning, Tim O'Hara. Any attempt to expose me will be useless. 340 00:22:33,111 --> 00:22:37,824 -I think we use more than ten. -Your astronauts 341 00:22:37,949 --> 00:22:40,952 Case closed. 342 00:22:42,787 --> 00:22:44,872 [Grunting] 343 00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:47,375 Okay. Okay, just-- 344 00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:51,671 [Electronic Whirring] 345 00:22:54,632 --> 00:22:58,177 Whoa! 346 00:23:03,975 --> 00:23:07,854 Okay, it's just a dream. It's a very bad dream. 347 00:23:07,979 --> 00:23:12,984 [Panting] Just-- Come on. Wake up. Wake up! 348 00:23:13,109 --> 00:23:15,570 What's with that? 349 00:23:15,695 --> 00:23:19,866 -I believe it's called a nervous breakdown. 350 00:23:19,991 --> 00:23:23,161 -I don't believe in aliens. -I heard that! 351 00:23:23,286 --> 00:23:26,873 To us, you are the alien. 352 00:23:26,998 --> 00:23:29,709 If you must know, I am from the planet you call Mars. 353 00:23:29,834 --> 00:23:33,880 -And what, I'm from Uranus? I never-- -I was getting to you! 354 00:23:34,005 --> 00:23:36,090 Don't get a crease in your Sputnik. 355 00:23:36,215 --> 00:23:38,384 [Zoot] Please, just introduce me to monkey boy. 356 00:23:38,509 --> 00:23:42,555 This is my Zoot. 357 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:46,225 -A polymorphous Zootenex 3,000. -Just look, don't touch. 358 00:23:46,351 --> 00:23:49,729 -Your suit talks? -[Scoffs] Incessantly. 359 00:23:49,854 --> 00:23:51,773 Corduroys talk, nobody gives them grief. 360 00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:53,900 -[Zoot] Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. -Mars? Wait a minute. 361 00:23:54,025 --> 00:23:57,862 [Stuttering] There's no life on Mars. We've sent probes. 362 00:23:57,987 --> 00:24:01,532 I'd try to explain it, but you people still think "E" equals "MC" squared. 363 00:24:01,658 --> 00:24:05,745 -You're still trying to analyze our rocks. Ha-ha! 364 00:24:05,870 --> 00:24:09,415 Oh! Blasted sand particles. 365 00:24:09,540 --> 00:24:12,710 They've completely crystallized the vortex generator. 366 00:24:12,835 --> 00:24:15,254 -Hey, do you mind? -[Knock On Door] 367 00:24:15,380 --> 00:24:17,090 -[Gasps] -Now what? 368 00:24:17,215 --> 00:24:19,550 -Thank God, an eyewitness. -Eyewitness? Negative. 369 00:24:19,676 --> 00:24:23,763 -You must tell no one. -No offence, but your ship is 370 00:24:23,888 --> 00:24:26,307 You're the biggest story in the history of mankind! 371 00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:29,102 There is intelligent life out there in the universe! 372 00:24:29,227 --> 00:24:30,937 I hope you're not including yourself in that statement! 373 00:24:31,062 --> 00:24:33,773 Tim, listen, I'm sorry to bother you so early in the morning, 374 00:24:33,898 --> 00:24:35,817 but I got a hold of your mail, and I wanted-- 375 00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:39,487 Could you just-- please, come here. Take a look at that! 376 00:24:39,612 --> 00:24:42,490 [Tim] Aaah! 377 00:24:42,615 --> 00:24:47,453 Tim, you definitely need a maid! Oh, hello! 378 00:24:49,747 --> 00:24:54,586 -Greetings. -Oh, I'm sorry to catch you 379 00:24:54,711 --> 00:24:58,339 -Pajamas? [Muffled] -[Stammering] Where's the spaceship? 380 00:24:58,464 --> 00:25:00,967 -[Mrs. Brown] Spaceship? -Right here. 381 00:25:01,092 --> 00:25:04,012 Oh, for the rummage sale! Does it come with an action figure? 382 00:25:04,137 --> 00:25:07,015 -You're looking at him. -[Chuckles] 383 00:25:07,140 --> 00:25:10,143 -No, don't touch him! He's a Martian. -Tim, what's going on? 384 00:25:10,268 --> 00:25:12,186 -[Stuttering] -I beg your-- Mart-- Martin? 385 00:25:12,311 --> 00:25:14,814 -Yes. Martin. -No, no, no, no! 386 00:25:14,939 --> 00:25:17,316 -He's a-- uh-- -Uncle! 387 00:25:17,442 --> 00:25:20,653 -Martin. -Oh. 388 00:25:20,778 --> 00:25:23,823 -Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. -He turns invisible, okay? 389 00:25:23,948 --> 00:25:25,867 His suit talks-- he's got a talking suit. 390 00:25:25,992 --> 00:25:27,994 He's got these things that pop out of his head-- You just-- 391 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,496 -Show her. Go ahead. Come on, give her the finger. 392 00:25:30,622 --> 00:25:35,001 No, I didn't mean that. I don't know what I mean. Forget it. 393 00:25:35,126 --> 00:25:38,046 You'll have to forgive Tim, Mrs. Brown. He lost his job last night, 394 00:25:38,171 --> 00:25:40,173 and he's experiencing a nervous breakdown. 395 00:25:40,298 --> 00:25:42,383 Oh, poor dear. 396 00:25:42,508 --> 00:25:44,510 -I hope it doesn't affect the rent. -[Laughing Hysterically] 397 00:25:44,636 --> 00:25:47,513 -Don't worry, I'm here to look after him. 398 00:25:47,638 --> 00:25:51,476 He's very lucky to have an uncle like you in his life, Martin. 399 00:25:51,601 --> 00:25:55,355 And you, Mrs. Brown, are like a brilliant quasar 400 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,649 Oh! Call me Lorelei. 401 00:25:58,775 --> 00:26:01,569 Lorelei. The sound of... 402 00:26:01,694 --> 00:26:05,698 pure mountain spring water from the centre of the Earth. 403 00:26:05,823 --> 00:26:08,451 Oh, my. [Chuckles] 404 00:26:11,704 --> 00:26:15,583 -[Slurping] -[Stammering] 405 00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:18,586 Oh! [Chuckles] 406 00:26:18,711 --> 00:26:22,256 I obviously misconstrued a custom. I apologize. 407 00:26:22,382 --> 00:26:25,718 I'm from... New York. 408 00:26:25,843 --> 00:26:28,680 No, actually, it's-- [Stuttering] It's fine. 409 00:26:28,805 --> 00:26:32,392 [Stuttering] It's perfect. [Sighs] 410 00:26:32,517 --> 00:26:35,353 -Oh, brother. -Oh, Martin? 411 00:26:35,478 --> 00:26:37,397 Yes, Lorelei? 412 00:26:37,522 --> 00:26:43,403 Um, Mr. Brown... passed away several years ago. 413 00:26:43,528 --> 00:26:48,408 -I thought you might like to know that. -Hmm. 414 00:26:48,533 --> 00:26:52,203 Au revoir. [Chuckles] 415 00:26:52,328 --> 00:26:54,247 Hmm? 416 00:26:54,372 --> 00:26:56,791 Just for the record, a handshake will do for me. 417 00:26:56,916 --> 00:26:58,918 [Scoffs] You think that I actually enjoyed... 418 00:26:59,043 --> 00:27:01,087 tasting that female's exoskeleton? 419 00:27:01,212 --> 00:27:05,091 [Shudders] I merely used my data on your primitive species to determine... 420 00:27:05,216 --> 00:27:07,552 the optimum way to avoid suspicion. 421 00:27:07,677 --> 00:27:11,222 -Yeah, but what's the optimum way to get home? 422 00:27:11,347 --> 00:27:15,727 I don't know, Zoot. Where on this barbaric swamp of a planet... 423 00:27:15,852 --> 00:27:19,063 can we find the makings of an electron accelerator? 424 00:27:19,188 --> 00:27:22,108 -[Zoot] Maybe your new girlfriend has one. 425 00:27:22,233 --> 00:27:25,570 Excuse me. Fellas, I don't mean to interrupt, but... 426 00:27:25,695 --> 00:27:30,783 I-I, you know, I think I might be able to help you find that electron thing. 427 00:27:30,908 --> 00:27:32,577 We're toast. 428 00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:35,413 I don't believe this. You really think you can... 429 00:27:35,538 --> 00:27:37,457 repair your ship with all this junk? 430 00:27:37,582 --> 00:27:39,834 Everything has been carefully chosen for its potential to fashion... 431 00:27:39,959 --> 00:27:42,462 a crude vortex electron accelerator. 432 00:27:42,587 --> 00:27:45,506 Except for this. A pooper scooper. 433 00:27:45,632 --> 00:27:48,301 I have no idea what it does, but it's fascinating. 434 00:27:48,426 --> 00:27:52,930 Excuse me. Where are your nuclear implosion couplers? 435 00:27:53,056 --> 00:27:55,391 For a garden hose? 436 00:27:57,268 --> 00:28:00,146 I'm never going to get off this infernal planet. 437 00:28:00,271 --> 00:28:02,440 [Zoot] The I.Q. of a pancake. 438 00:28:02,565 --> 00:28:04,525 You're right. Humans are truly the amoebas of the universe! 439 00:28:04,651 --> 00:28:07,195 Yeah, this from a guy who talks to his tin foil suit. 440 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,365 -Hey, what was that for? -It wasn't me, it was Zoot. 441 00:28:10,490 --> 00:28:14,535 -[Zoot Laughing] -Come here a sec. 442 00:28:14,661 --> 00:28:17,330 Listen, you've been on Earth, what, all of ten minutes? 443 00:28:17,455 --> 00:28:19,832 -It's not so bad here. -[Chuckles] That's what Neenurt said. 444 00:28:19,957 --> 00:28:23,836 -Who? -Exactly. One of my planet's 445 00:28:23,961 --> 00:28:26,506 and now he's gone without a trace. 446 00:28:26,631 --> 00:28:30,343 He arrived on Earth in 1964, and, I presume, was abducted 447 00:28:30,468 --> 00:28:32,553 I shudder to think what they did to him in the name of science. 448 00:28:32,679 --> 00:28:36,891 -What are they laughing at? -[Laughing] Hey, space man! 449 00:28:37,016 --> 00:28:40,019 -I've been discovered! -[Electronic Buzz] 450 00:28:40,144 --> 00:28:42,647 -[Grunting] -Sorry about that. 451 00:28:42,772 --> 00:28:44,399 -Oh, my-- -What happened? 452 00:28:44,524 --> 00:28:46,734 They don't know anything. They were just making fun of your-- 453 00:28:46,859 --> 00:28:50,238 Making fun. I'm one of the best-dressed beings on my planet. 454 00:28:50,363 --> 00:28:52,365 [Man] Yo, Elvis! Nice suit. 455 00:28:52,490 --> 00:28:56,703 Well, Dorothy, I hate to tell you this, but you're not in Kansas any more. 456 00:28:56,828 --> 00:28:58,871 [Zoot] That's great. The minute I turn my back, 457 00:28:58,997 --> 00:29:01,374 you're getting into someone else's pants! 458 00:29:01,499 --> 00:29:04,502 [Martin] I need to blend in, and you stand out like a putt 459 00:29:04,627 --> 00:29:06,546 [Zoot] I should have known by the way you've been gawking... 460 00:29:06,671 --> 00:29:08,715 at every T-shirt and sweat pant we pass. 461 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:12,093 -Don't come apart at the seams! -Why is Zoot always the last to know? 462 00:29:12,218 --> 00:29:14,554 -All right, all right, all right! -[Zoot Sobbing] 463 00:29:14,679 --> 00:29:18,433 -Martian footage, take one. -Zoot, this is tearing me apart too. 464 00:29:18,558 --> 00:29:21,352 [Zoot] I know I'm not what I used to be. 465 00:29:21,477 --> 00:29:24,230 I mean, a stretch mark here, a line stain there. 466 00:29:24,355 --> 00:29:26,607 [Zoot Sobbing] 467 00:29:26,733 --> 00:29:30,278 [Screams] 468 00:29:30,403 --> 00:29:33,072 -Hey! -Pervert! 469 00:29:33,197 --> 00:29:36,200 It's not safe for a woman around here! 470 00:29:36,326 --> 00:29:38,286 I'm ready to blend in now. 471 00:29:42,915 --> 00:29:46,210 -Outstanding. -Martin, that outfit looks ridic-- 472 00:29:46,336 --> 00:29:48,963 -Stylin', bro! -Thanks, bro. 473 00:29:49,088 --> 00:29:51,090 [Chuckles] Real cool. 474 00:29:51,215 --> 00:29:53,134 I've got the touch on two planets. 475 00:29:53,259 --> 00:29:55,553 I gotta get out more. How did your Zoot take the-- 476 00:29:55,678 --> 00:29:57,930 Zoot, he's highly intelligent. He understands. 477 00:29:58,056 --> 00:30:01,434 Aaaah! You used me, you buttonhole! 478 00:30:01,559 --> 00:30:05,605 -Go and have your fling. Colors fade! You'll see! 479 00:30:05,730 --> 00:30:08,066 -Hello? -Huh? Oh, incoming. 480 00:30:08,191 --> 00:30:10,818 Hello? Man. 481 00:30:12,236 --> 00:30:14,280 Oh, geez! 482 00:30:14,405 --> 00:30:17,116 Talk about a tacky suit! 483 00:30:17,241 --> 00:30:19,118 -[Chuckles] -Tacky, huh? 484 00:30:21,245 --> 00:30:23,998 Hey! Hey! What? 485 00:30:26,417 --> 00:30:29,504 -Now turn the other cheek. -[Slapping Sound] 486 00:30:29,629 --> 00:30:33,174 -[Shudders, Exhales] -Catch you later, Spanky. 487 00:30:35,093 --> 00:30:37,428 [Exhales] 488 00:30:37,553 --> 00:30:39,764 All right, I'm bustin' out! 489 00:30:39,889 --> 00:30:41,849 -There. -Go ahead, try 'em all on. 490 00:30:41,975 --> 00:30:45,311 See if I care. Whoa! 491 00:30:45,436 --> 00:30:48,982 If love is a crime, lock me up! 492 00:30:49,107 --> 00:30:53,111 I'm guilty. Look at her. 493 00:30:53,236 --> 00:30:55,780 A perfect size six, 494 00:30:55,905 --> 00:30:59,450 and never been worn! 495 00:30:59,576 --> 00:31:03,830 Darling, don't speak. Just come to me. [Chuckles] 496 00:31:03,955 --> 00:31:07,667 Oh, this is crazy. I'm a polymorph, and you're a polyester. 497 00:31:07,792 --> 00:31:10,712 Yes, you're synthetic, but I like that in a girl! 498 00:31:10,837 --> 00:31:13,464 Give me some thread, baby! [Kissing Sounds] 499 00:31:13,589 --> 00:31:16,843 -Oh, what's this, Velcro? Ohh! -Zoot! 500 00:31:16,968 --> 00:31:19,679 Ah! No, thank you, little girl, I don't want to buy any cookies! 501 00:31:19,804 --> 00:31:23,141 You lecherous leotard! Have you no shame? 502 00:31:23,266 --> 00:31:26,352 Look who's talking, Mr. Clothes Horse! 503 00:31:26,477 --> 00:31:30,398 Now, in you go, or you'll take a long walk on a short hanger. 504 00:31:30,523 --> 00:31:32,525 Coming in for a landing! Flaps down! 505 00:31:32,650 --> 00:31:36,487 -[Flatulent Sound] -I said bag it, mister! 506 00:31:36,612 --> 00:31:39,991 All right, all right, you don't have to throw me in the hamper. 507 00:31:40,116 --> 00:31:43,536 [Grunting, Speaking Gibberish] 508 00:31:43,661 --> 00:31:45,788 Dork. 509 00:31:48,333 --> 00:31:51,210 -Next time, the dry cleaner. -Bite these. 510 00:31:51,336 --> 00:31:54,213 [Gasps] You-- Blasted nurplex! 511 00:31:54,339 --> 00:31:58,760 Oh, Venus, Neptune! 512 00:31:58,885 --> 00:32:01,387 -Help me, Tim! -Mm-hmm. 513 00:32:01,512 --> 00:32:04,223 Tim, it's a little blue one! 514 00:32:04,349 --> 00:32:06,935 No! Give me that, 515 00:32:07,060 --> 00:32:09,604 you age-impaired little blotz. 516 00:32:09,729 --> 00:32:11,731 Mine! Gum! 517 00:32:11,856 --> 00:32:15,068 -Mine! Nurplex! -[Blows Raspberry] 518 00:32:15,193 --> 00:32:19,280 -[Roars] -[Screams] 519 00:32:19,405 --> 00:32:22,951 [Screaming Continues] 520 00:32:23,076 --> 00:32:25,620 Why wouldn't you give the kid a piece of gum? 521 00:32:25,745 --> 00:32:29,207 [Scoffs] Okay, sure, right. Here, have one. 522 00:32:29,332 --> 00:32:31,542 -Come on, let's go. No, no, come on. -What are you doing? 523 00:32:31,668 --> 00:32:33,753 -What are you doing? -Trust me. 524 00:32:33,878 --> 00:32:35,713 -Not the finger! Don't do the finger! -Try some. 525 00:32:35,838 --> 00:32:38,132 -Why? -You don't want to try Martian gum? 526 00:32:38,258 --> 00:32:42,387 -No, not particularly. -Afraid, Earthling? 527 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,105 You know what, that is not bad. 528 00:32:52,230 --> 00:32:57,110 -The centre's got a nice little zing to it. 529 00:32:57,235 --> 00:32:59,946 Hmm, no. No, not really. 530 00:33:00,071 --> 00:33:03,241 What time do you have? 531 00:33:03,366 --> 00:33:05,284 Aaaah! 532 00:33:05,410 --> 00:33:08,413 [Gasps] Aaaah! 533 00:33:08,538 --> 00:33:11,624 -[Gasps] -Spit, spit, spit. 534 00:33:11,749 --> 00:33:14,335 [Groaning] 535 00:33:14,460 --> 00:33:19,966 -[Groaning Continues] -Everything okay in there? 536 00:33:20,091 --> 00:33:23,845 -Zipper trouble. -Yeeow. 537 00:33:23,970 --> 00:33:26,514 [Breathing Heavily] 538 00:33:26,639 --> 00:33:29,809 This "gum", as you call, allows me to take on the outward 539 00:33:29,934 --> 00:33:31,936 On you, it has the reverse effect. 540 00:33:32,061 --> 00:33:35,023 Oh, so that's what you really look like. 541 00:33:35,148 --> 00:33:38,151 Don't be disgusting. That was Fluvian Nurplex. 542 00:33:38,276 --> 00:33:41,154 -Oh. -We carry many different planets. 543 00:33:41,279 --> 00:33:46,326 If you think that was bad, this is Veenox Seven. 544 00:33:46,451 --> 00:33:50,455 -Oh, well, that's-- -Don't ever mess with a Veenox Seven. 545 00:33:50,580 --> 00:33:54,250 When it comes to Veenox Seven, just say no. 546 00:33:58,671 --> 00:34:00,673 Me man got fire 547 00:34:00,798 --> 00:34:03,509 Me so on fire feeling hot, hot, hot 548 00:34:03,634 --> 00:34:06,387 All right, come on, the rest of you, come on up on stage! 549 00:34:06,512 --> 00:34:09,891 The sun, while you can get it. The sand, the surf. 550 00:34:10,016 --> 00:34:12,977 Usually, the beach conjures up images of our youth, 551 00:34:13,102 --> 00:34:17,315 but come on down to Sunset Pier today, and your contraceptions of-- 552 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:19,525 -Preconceptions! -Contraceptions. 553 00:34:19,651 --> 00:34:21,486 -Preconceptions! -Felix! 554 00:34:21,611 --> 00:34:23,905 I said preconceptions! I swear, preconceptions! 555 00:34:24,030 --> 00:34:27,533 -Billy! Billy! -Preconceptions! 556 00:34:27,659 --> 00:34:30,703 I should listen to my parents and be a doctor. I hate this! 557 00:34:30,828 --> 00:34:33,372 -Ooh! -[Gasps] 558 00:34:33,498 --> 00:34:36,209 -Are we still rolling? -Nobody said "cut." 559 00:34:36,334 --> 00:34:39,087 -Feeling hot, hot, hot -What do you think? 560 00:34:39,212 --> 00:34:41,214 I think your bathing suit should have a top. 561 00:34:41,339 --> 00:34:43,841 [Stammering] Cut! Cut! Cut! 562 00:34:43,966 --> 00:34:47,428 -[Grunting] -Felix! 563 00:34:47,553 --> 00:34:49,889 [Sighs] Felix is toast. 564 00:34:50,014 --> 00:34:52,684 If Tim doesn't get here soon, we could all be looking for work. 565 00:34:52,809 --> 00:34:58,106 [Chattering, Indistinct] 566 00:34:58,231 --> 00:35:01,859 Wait here. 567 00:35:01,985 --> 00:35:03,903 What is the meaning of this divergence? 568 00:35:04,028 --> 00:35:06,948 -I gotta see some friends. -Negative! Exclamation point. 569 00:35:07,073 --> 00:35:09,784 We're wasting valuable time. My ship must-- 570 00:35:09,909 --> 00:35:13,538 Look at that! 571 00:35:13,663 --> 00:35:15,748 Do you have any idea how fortunate you are? 572 00:35:15,873 --> 00:35:18,960 The only water we get back on Mars has to be squeezed from rocks. 573 00:35:19,085 --> 00:35:22,380 -Well, surf's up, dude. -Tim, I'm so glad you came. 574 00:35:22,505 --> 00:35:25,091 -Hurricane Brace hit again. -Oh, okay. Uh, Martin? 575 00:35:25,300 --> 00:35:27,427 -I gotta go. I'll be right-- -Lizzie! 576 00:35:27,552 --> 00:35:29,929 How nice to see you again. 577 00:35:30,054 --> 00:35:32,974 -Have we met? -Of course! 578 00:35:33,099 --> 00:35:36,269 Not. How nice to see you again for the first time. 579 00:35:36,394 --> 00:35:38,980 I'm Tim's Uncle Martin. 580 00:35:39,105 --> 00:35:44,152 -Oh, I-- -[Rumbling] 581 00:35:45,904 --> 00:35:48,364 -I, uh-- -[Rumbling Continues] 582 00:35:51,576 --> 00:35:55,622 -What was that? -I must find nourishment. 583 00:35:55,747 --> 00:35:58,458 -That came from your stomach? -Stomachs. 584 00:35:58,583 --> 00:36:01,794 Oh, he is-- [Chuckles] He is such a kidder. 585 00:36:01,919 --> 00:36:04,130 Listen, I'll be with you in couple minutes, okay? 586 00:36:04,255 --> 00:36:06,799 You just-- I'll be right over. Tell her to-- 587 00:36:06,925 --> 00:36:09,635 We gotta get you-- ah! 588 00:36:09,761 --> 00:36:11,679 [Stomach Rumbling] 589 00:36:14,098 --> 00:36:16,184 Excuse me, could I have a double dip-- 590 00:36:16,309 --> 00:36:18,686 actually, make that a triple dip, chocolate chip, please. 591 00:36:18,811 --> 00:36:22,523 -Yes, sir. -Tim, I need nourishment, 592 00:36:22,649 --> 00:36:25,818 Look, this is very nutritious food here on Earth. 593 00:36:25,944 --> 00:36:29,447 Tim, you don't need to try poison to know that it kills. 594 00:36:29,572 --> 00:36:32,617 Here, take this. 595 00:36:32,742 --> 00:36:35,328 Give me five minutes, okay? I have to go to the news van. 596 00:36:35,453 --> 00:36:38,456 [Groans] Blecch! 597 00:36:38,581 --> 00:36:42,001 -[Brace] Felix! -I said "preconceptions", I swear! 598 00:36:42,126 --> 00:36:46,047 You unprofessional little man! All you have to do is come up 599 00:36:46,172 --> 00:36:48,508 [Felix Groaning] 600 00:36:48,633 --> 00:36:53,680 -Billy! -Brace! Brace! 601 00:36:53,805 --> 00:36:57,517 -You'd rate this tantrum? -About a seven-five on the Brace scale. 602 00:36:57,642 --> 00:37:02,397 -I'll talk to Felix. -You never told me about your uncle. 603 00:37:02,522 --> 00:37:05,066 Are you-- 604 00:37:05,191 --> 00:37:09,028 Look, I'm glad you beeped me. We really need to talk. This is really big. 605 00:37:09,153 --> 00:37:11,572 -I know. -You do? 606 00:37:11,697 --> 00:37:14,033 Yes. Look, I've been thinking, and... 607 00:37:14,158 --> 00:37:17,996 our friendship really means a lot to me, and I don't want to screw that up. 608 00:37:18,121 --> 00:37:20,373 -Okay. -So I think it would be better... 609 00:37:20,498 --> 00:37:24,544 if we just pretended that nothing ever happened between us last night. 610 00:37:24,669 --> 00:37:27,505 -What happened last night? -Exactly! 611 00:37:27,630 --> 00:37:29,883 I'm not sure I understand what-- 612 00:37:30,008 --> 00:37:32,009 Me either. 613 00:37:37,140 --> 00:37:40,268 I guess we're both a little confused, huh, Tim? 614 00:37:44,397 --> 00:37:47,108 -[Gasps] -Easy, easy. 615 00:37:47,233 --> 00:37:50,945 I thought you were her. She's terrible, Tim. How did you last so long? 616 00:37:51,070 --> 00:37:53,072 She's a little high-maintenance, but she's okay. 617 00:37:53,197 --> 00:37:57,910 -Oh, lust is blind. -Do we still have that hidden camera 618 00:37:58,036 --> 00:38:02,373 You're sitting on it. Why? 619 00:38:02,498 --> 00:38:05,084 -Here, let me help you with this. -Would you please? 620 00:38:05,209 --> 00:38:08,087 -These words are way too big. -Huh? Humidity? 621 00:38:08,212 --> 00:38:10,798 -Hot. -Oh, oh, oh, oh. 622 00:38:10,924 --> 00:38:13,217 [Announcer] Wave for everybody! 623 00:38:13,342 --> 00:38:18,264 By God, if I were only 40 years older, I'd be right there with 'em! 624 00:38:18,389 --> 00:38:20,934 [Muttering, Indistinct] 625 00:38:21,059 --> 00:38:22,977 -[Man] Miss Channing? -Hmm? 626 00:38:23,102 --> 00:38:26,689 -Could I have a word with you, please? -Okay. 627 00:38:28,733 --> 00:38:31,861 I've already signed it. 628 00:38:33,279 --> 00:38:35,615 Come on, who are you guys, huh? 629 00:38:35,740 --> 00:38:39,744 [Gasps, Muffled Screams] 630 00:38:47,585 --> 00:38:49,504 Okay, guys, you're all set. 631 00:38:49,629 --> 00:38:51,631 -Where's Brace? -I don't know. She took off. 632 00:38:51,756 --> 00:38:54,133 She quit! And her dad gonna blame me! 633 00:38:54,258 --> 00:38:56,469 Hey, what's going on over there? 634 00:38:56,594 --> 00:39:00,473 -[Crowd Clamoring] -Uh, Billy, put that in my car. 635 00:39:00,598 --> 00:39:02,767 -I gotta go. -Call me! 636 00:39:02,892 --> 00:39:04,977 Martin! 637 00:39:09,565 --> 00:39:12,318 [Gulping] 638 00:39:12,443 --> 00:39:15,655 -[Gasps] -[Martin Shouting] 639 00:39:15,780 --> 00:39:18,658 -I like it! -Martin! 640 00:39:22,579 --> 00:39:26,791 Tim, you're here! You've got to save me from myself! 641 00:39:26,916 --> 00:39:32,338 It's intoxicating. Ooh, cookie dough! 642 00:39:32,463 --> 00:39:36,342 -I need to get you back to the home! -[Gurgling] 643 00:39:36,467 --> 00:39:39,178 All they give him there is Jell-O. There we go. 644 00:39:39,303 --> 00:39:43,349 [Muttering, Indistinct] 645 00:39:43,474 --> 00:39:45,810 Cookie dough! 646 00:39:45,935 --> 00:39:49,939 [Crowd Clamoring] 647 00:39:55,987 --> 00:40:00,074 [Beeps] 648 00:40:00,199 --> 00:40:02,619 Martian footage, take two. 649 00:40:05,163 --> 00:40:07,206 [Groaning] 650 00:40:08,332 --> 00:40:11,711 [Groaning Continues] 651 00:40:11,836 --> 00:40:14,339 -Chubby Hubby hangover, huh? -[Groans] 652 00:40:14,464 --> 00:40:16,591 [Tools Clattering] 653 00:40:16,716 --> 00:40:19,385 I swear, I'll never touch that stuff again. 654 00:40:19,510 --> 00:40:22,388 One scoop's too many, and a million aren't enough! 655 00:40:22,513 --> 00:40:25,725 So, how's it coming, anyway? 656 00:40:25,850 --> 00:40:28,019 Oh, I converted a blow dryer, two elastic bands... 657 00:40:28,144 --> 00:40:31,189 and an Acme Bug-Away insect bomb... 658 00:40:31,314 --> 00:40:33,232 into a temporary electron accelerator. 659 00:40:33,358 --> 00:40:35,735 -Is it working? -Not at all, but on the positive side, 660 00:40:35,860 --> 00:40:37,904 your garage is now cockroach-free. 661 00:40:38,029 --> 00:40:40,615 Blasted rental! 662 00:40:40,740 --> 00:40:43,117 -This is a rental, is it? -My regular ship is in the shop... 663 00:40:43,242 --> 00:40:45,745 for its mid-millennium tune-up. 664 00:40:45,870 --> 00:40:48,372 Where's your, uh, you know, your suit, Zoot... thing. 665 00:40:48,498 --> 00:40:51,751 Oh ho, washing up. 666 00:40:51,876 --> 00:40:54,420 -Owwww! Spin me, mama! -["I Feel Good"] 667 00:40:54,545 --> 00:40:57,298 So nice, so good 668 00:40:57,423 --> 00:40:59,759 Five more minutes, Zoot, then into the dryer. 669 00:40:59,884 --> 00:41:03,096 You're bringing me down, man! 670 00:41:03,221 --> 00:41:07,559 [Groans] What I wouldn't give to shed this grotesque human facade... 671 00:41:07,684 --> 00:41:11,604 and let the cool Earth waters caress my Martian skin. 672 00:41:11,729 --> 00:41:15,066 -Oh! -So why don't you? 673 00:41:15,191 --> 00:41:17,610 Why not, indeed? 674 00:41:17,735 --> 00:41:20,613 -["I Feel Good"] -Move over, Zoot! 675 00:41:20,738 --> 00:41:23,741 I meant out in the hot tub, out back. It would be private, by yourself. 676 00:41:23,866 --> 00:41:26,953 You mean spit out my Nurplex... 677 00:41:27,078 --> 00:41:29,455 and revert to Martian form right outside your domicile? 678 00:41:29,581 --> 00:41:33,126 -Exactly. -Oh, do you think that's safe? 679 00:41:33,251 --> 00:41:35,628 Oh, yes, of course it's safe. 680 00:41:35,753 --> 00:41:38,339 -I'll do it! -Good. Let's go. 681 00:41:38,464 --> 00:41:40,425 Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. 682 00:41:40,550 --> 00:41:42,802 -Tim? Thanks. -Yeah? 683 00:41:42,927 --> 00:41:44,846 It's just a hot tub, Martin. No big deal. 684 00:41:44,971 --> 00:41:46,973 I don't mean just that. I know I must have... 685 00:41:47,098 --> 00:41:50,268 created complete havoc with your simple life since the moment I arrived. 686 00:41:50,393 --> 00:41:53,855 Anyway, I just wanted to say... thank you. 687 00:41:56,941 --> 00:41:58,651 [Whooping Excitedly] 688 00:41:58,776 --> 00:42:01,362 Hello! 689 00:42:01,487 --> 00:42:04,282 Hello! Would somebody please... 690 00:42:04,407 --> 00:42:06,409 come and tell me what's going on here? 691 00:42:09,329 --> 00:42:11,998 All right, Miss Channing. 692 00:42:13,124 --> 00:42:15,835 Do you know what this is? 693 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:17,879 This has been positively identified... 694 00:42:18,004 --> 00:42:20,506 by my team of experts as your cigarette. 695 00:42:20,632 --> 00:42:24,469 It was discovered at the site of a U.F.O. crash! 696 00:42:24,594 --> 00:42:27,347 -What? -And on it are trace elements... 697 00:42:27,472 --> 00:42:31,392 of what we believe to be alien DNA. 698 00:42:31,517 --> 00:42:35,313 -Alien? -Oh, don't play dumb with me! 699 00:42:35,438 --> 00:42:38,358 You are an alien... 700 00:42:38,483 --> 00:42:41,277 inhabiting the body of a woman! 701 00:42:43,529 --> 00:42:46,866 A very, very attractive woman. 702 00:42:46,991 --> 00:42:48,868 Oh, please. 703 00:42:48,993 --> 00:42:51,829 Dr Coleye, we've run the tests on the other cigarette. 704 00:42:51,955 --> 00:42:53,873 It's human DNA. 705 00:42:53,998 --> 00:42:57,210 Oh. So sorry. 706 00:42:57,335 --> 00:43:01,881 An honest mistake. So, Miss Channing, 707 00:43:02,006 --> 00:43:04,383 do you have any idea how alien DNA... 708 00:43:04,509 --> 00:43:06,844 ended up on your cigarette? 709 00:43:06,969 --> 00:43:11,391 I might. First of all, let's talk about what's in this for me. 710 00:43:11,516 --> 00:43:16,771 The safety of this entire planet may depend on what you say to me. 711 00:43:16,896 --> 00:43:20,024 There's nothing in it for you! 712 00:43:20,149 --> 00:43:23,611 -[Frustrated Scream] -Dr Coleye. 713 00:43:23,736 --> 00:43:27,240 May I call you... Doctor? 714 00:43:27,365 --> 00:43:30,243 Think about it. When this story breaks, 715 00:43:30,368 --> 00:43:34,747 you will be the most famous scientist in history. 716 00:43:34,872 --> 00:43:39,419 You will be on the cover of Scientific... whatever. 717 00:43:39,544 --> 00:43:44,757 You will be the man that proves that aliens exist. 718 00:43:44,883 --> 00:43:50,054 And I will be the woman who tells the world your story. 719 00:43:52,181 --> 00:43:54,434 We'll do it together. 720 00:43:54,559 --> 00:43:57,437 Okay. 721 00:43:57,562 --> 00:44:03,610 -[Opera] -[Singing Along] 722 00:44:19,459 --> 00:44:23,129 [Singing Opera] 723 00:44:26,925 --> 00:44:30,470 -Tim? -[Gasps] 724 00:44:30,595 --> 00:44:32,680 What are you doing up there? 725 00:44:32,805 --> 00:44:35,308 [Whispering] My Uncle Martin's in the hot tub, 726 00:44:35,433 --> 00:44:37,643 and I'm... watching. 727 00:44:38,978 --> 00:44:42,565 Oh. 728 00:44:43,900 --> 00:44:46,778 What a strange family. 729 00:44:46,903 --> 00:44:50,490 You can, uh-- You can sleep here. 730 00:44:50,615 --> 00:44:53,201 -You guys do sleep, don't you? -Oh, most definitely. 731 00:44:53,326 --> 00:44:56,496 Oh, great. We have something in common. 732 00:44:56,621 --> 00:44:58,664 You're very kind, Tim O'Hara. 733 00:44:58,790 --> 00:45:03,503 -No, just very tired. -Ohh, enjoy your rest cycle. 734 00:45:03,628 --> 00:45:06,172 -[Electronic Buzz] -I'll do the same. 735 00:45:06,297 --> 00:45:08,508 I could use a little shut-eye. 736 00:45:08,633 --> 00:45:11,010 -[Sighs] So could I. -[Light Switch Clicks] 737 00:45:11,135 --> 00:45:13,721 [Yawns] 738 00:45:13,846 --> 00:45:16,516 -Rise and shine! -Yeah, yeah right. 739 00:45:16,641 --> 00:45:18,560 What's on tap for today, Tim O'Hara? 740 00:45:18,685 --> 00:45:20,728 I feel like a million radix. 741 00:45:20,853 --> 00:45:23,022 Hey, it's still tonight. You've been asleep for 30 seconds. 742 00:45:23,147 --> 00:45:26,693 Thirty seconds? Wow, I really was tired. 743 00:45:26,818 --> 00:45:29,529 [Martin] What are we waiting for? 744 00:45:29,654 --> 00:45:33,199 There's a whole metropolis out there just waiting to be discovered! 745 00:45:33,324 --> 00:45:35,243 [Tim] No, not in the middle of the night, there isn't. 746 00:45:35,368 --> 00:45:37,870 [Martin] I feel like ice cream, and there's no time like the present. 747 00:45:37,996 --> 00:45:42,333 [Martin] Hello? Why aren't they open? 748 00:45:42,458 --> 00:45:46,379 -What's wrong with this planet? -I told you they don't open till 10:00. 749 00:45:46,504 --> 00:45:49,591 -I could be first in line. -They aren't gonna let you in 750 00:45:49,716 --> 00:45:52,802 not after that little stunt you pulled yesterday. 751 00:45:55,346 --> 00:45:57,348 [Electronic Buzz] 752 00:45:57,473 --> 00:46:01,894 -We call that breaking and entering. -[Electronic Buzz] 753 00:46:02,019 --> 00:46:06,441 Ah, the smell of moist air. 754 00:46:06,566 --> 00:46:10,403 I'll never forget this. Your ocean! 755 00:46:10,528 --> 00:46:13,197 Ice cream! 756 00:46:13,322 --> 00:46:15,616 This primitive planet may not compare to Mars, 757 00:46:15,742 --> 00:46:17,910 but it's not the rotten rock I thought it was. 758 00:46:18,036 --> 00:46:20,246 Don't look now, but I think we're being followed. 759 00:46:20,371 --> 00:46:22,415 Impossible. My acute sensory perception... 760 00:46:22,540 --> 00:46:24,459 would have detected that immediately. 761 00:46:24,584 --> 00:46:27,629 [Electronic Whirring] Now it's working. 762 00:46:27,754 --> 00:46:29,631 Hey! Hey, buddy! 763 00:46:29,756 --> 00:46:31,966 -What are you doing? -I've been discovered! 764 00:46:32,091 --> 00:46:34,260 -I'm doomed! -No, no, no, just calm down. 765 00:46:34,385 --> 00:46:36,304 It's probably just some tourist or something. 766 00:46:36,429 --> 00:46:39,933 Besides, even if you did get caught, you'd probably be, you know, welcomed. 767 00:46:40,058 --> 00:46:42,727 Welcomed? Tim, where do Earthlings put... 768 00:46:42,852 --> 00:46:45,813 their most beautiful and rare animals? 769 00:46:45,938 --> 00:46:47,940 If I don't get that spaceship fixed, I'm finished, 770 00:46:48,066 --> 00:46:50,068 just like Neenurt. 771 00:46:50,193 --> 00:46:52,820 [Zoot] Can you fix it? 'Cause I'm dyin' here. 772 00:46:52,945 --> 00:46:55,615 I need a drink, is what I need. 773 00:46:55,740 --> 00:46:57,784 [Humming] 774 00:46:57,909 --> 00:47:00,620 Yeah. Downy the hatch. 775 00:47:00,745 --> 00:47:04,499 [Zoot Coughing] 776 00:47:04,624 --> 00:47:07,919 -What was that? -What in blazes? 777 00:47:08,044 --> 00:47:10,797 -What is it? -[Beeps] 778 00:47:10,922 --> 00:47:13,841 Oh, blotz! 779 00:47:13,966 --> 00:47:16,969 Zoot, an I.S.S.! 780 00:47:17,095 --> 00:47:19,347 [Screams] 781 00:47:19,472 --> 00:47:22,809 [Screams] 782 00:47:22,934 --> 00:47:24,852 [Tape Rewinding] 783 00:47:24,977 --> 00:47:28,523 -Blasted rental! -[Tape Rewinding] 784 00:47:28,648 --> 00:47:32,485 -[Tape Rewinding] -Owww! Spin me, mama! 785 00:47:32,610 --> 00:47:36,114 -So nice, so good -[Tape Rewinding] 786 00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:42,161 -[Tape Playing At Fast Speed] -[Opera] 787 00:47:42,287 --> 00:47:45,456 [Chuckles] Uncle Martin, what are you-- 788 00:47:52,088 --> 00:47:54,382 [Phone Ringing] 789 00:47:54,507 --> 00:47:56,634 -Tech department. -[Tim] Hi, it's me. 790 00:47:56,759 --> 00:47:59,721 -Oh, hi. -What are you doin'? 791 00:47:59,846 --> 00:48:02,473 Uh, research. 792 00:48:02,599 --> 00:48:06,018 Have you ever got into your head how-- how you felt about somebody, 793 00:48:06,144 --> 00:48:10,356 and then something they said or did just suddenly changed your mind? 794 00:48:10,481 --> 00:48:13,067 Well, yeah, I-- 795 00:48:13,192 --> 00:48:15,403 Could you come over? 796 00:48:15,528 --> 00:48:18,698 Please, I really need to see you. It's important. 797 00:48:18,823 --> 00:48:22,160 Sure. Could you give me like a half an hour? 798 00:48:22,285 --> 00:48:26,331 -[Sighs] You're the best, Lizzie. -Okay, see ya! 799 00:48:26,456 --> 00:48:28,374 Oh, my gosh. 800 00:48:28,499 --> 00:48:32,253 [Exhales] 801 00:48:32,378 --> 00:48:34,380 [Martin Shouting] 802 00:48:34,589 --> 00:48:37,717 -[Shouts] -Martin? 803 00:48:37,842 --> 00:48:40,386 -[Growling] -I'm not like you. 804 00:48:40,511 --> 00:48:43,181 I need more than twelve seconds of sleep. 805 00:48:43,306 --> 00:48:47,560 All I need is one lousy electron accelerator... 806 00:48:47,685 --> 00:48:49,604 for a vortex generator. 807 00:48:49,729 --> 00:48:52,398 But can I build it? No. 808 00:48:52,523 --> 00:48:55,401 You'll do it. You just gotta give yourself a little time, that's all. 809 00:48:55,526 --> 00:48:59,072 Time! I have no time! 810 00:48:59,197 --> 00:49:01,199 I just discovered that this blasted rental... 811 00:49:01,324 --> 00:49:03,701 is equipped with an I.S.S.! 812 00:49:03,826 --> 00:49:06,621 -Yeah, what's that? -Interstellar Safety System. 813 00:49:06,746 --> 00:49:09,582 A detonation mechanism designed to prevent... 814 00:49:09,707 --> 00:49:13,044 advanced technology from falling into the wrong hands. 815 00:49:13,169 --> 00:49:16,589 It's timer activates automatically at the point of a crash. 816 00:49:16,714 --> 00:49:19,258 Okay, wait, I heard "detonation" somewhere in there. 817 00:49:19,383 --> 00:49:23,096 If I don't take off by 9:00 tonight, you'll hear a lot more than that. 818 00:49:23,221 --> 00:49:27,225 -Uh, how much more? -[Makes Explosion Sound] 819 00:49:27,350 --> 00:49:30,436 -Uh-huh. -Lublick. 820 00:49:30,561 --> 00:49:35,566 -Uh, you b-- -[Gulping] 821 00:49:41,739 --> 00:49:44,283 [Belches] Ahhh! 822 00:49:47,704 --> 00:49:51,666 I know you've done your best to help me, but it's no use. 823 00:49:51,791 --> 00:49:55,169 [Gasps] Oh, no. 824 00:49:55,294 --> 00:49:59,132 I'm sinking into a Martian depression. 825 00:49:59,257 --> 00:50:01,676 Sinking? No, no sinking. Come on, we gotta go fix this thing. 826 00:50:01,801 --> 00:50:03,928 I'm falling apart, Tim. 827 00:50:04,053 --> 00:50:06,055 Oh, no, you're not. 828 00:50:06,180 --> 00:50:09,350 -[Sobbing] -Come on. 829 00:50:09,475 --> 00:50:12,770 -Yes you are. -On Mars, when we get depressed, 830 00:50:12,895 --> 00:50:17,150 we literally fall apart! 831 00:50:17,275 --> 00:50:19,777 -[Screams] -Okay, no problem. 832 00:50:19,903 --> 00:50:22,321 Don't move, don't make it any worse than it already is. 833 00:50:22,447 --> 00:50:25,325 -What we're gonna do is we're gonna put you back together. 834 00:50:25,450 --> 00:50:28,494 Does it screw in? It's not-- 835 00:50:28,620 --> 00:50:32,999 -Okay, just---aaah! No! -I wanna go home! 836 00:50:33,124 --> 00:50:35,543 -We're gonna put our heads together-- -[Gasps] 837 00:50:35,668 --> 00:50:38,129 -Aaaah! -[Knock On Door] 838 00:50:38,254 --> 00:50:40,006 -Coming! -Who's that? 839 00:50:40,131 --> 00:50:42,258 -It's Lizzie! -Lizzie? Oh, no. 840 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:45,678 You wait here. 841 00:50:45,803 --> 00:50:48,014 -Where are you going with those? -Just tidying up! 842 00:50:48,139 --> 00:50:51,017 Give 'em back! Give me back my arms! Give me back-- 843 00:50:51,142 --> 00:50:53,978 Why do I have to die here? [Groaning] 844 00:50:55,146 --> 00:50:57,023 Hello? 845 00:50:57,148 --> 00:50:59,525 -Yoo-hoo! -Don't move. 846 00:50:59,651 --> 00:51:01,402 Tim! 847 00:51:01,527 --> 00:51:03,863 Does anything in this room strike you as odd? 848 00:51:03,988 --> 00:51:05,990 -Tim? -[Gasps] 849 00:51:06,115 --> 00:51:08,159 [Martin] Just a minute! 850 00:51:08,284 --> 00:51:10,036 -Aaah! -Would you just be quiet? 851 00:51:10,161 --> 00:51:13,372 Coming! Lizzie! Oh, Br-Br-Brace! 852 00:51:13,498 --> 00:51:15,875 Tim! Are you decent? 853 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:19,671 Oh, yeah! Yes, I am. [Stuttering] What a surprise! 854 00:51:19,796 --> 00:51:22,215 -Yes, now get lost! -What did you say? 855 00:51:22,340 --> 00:51:25,551 Uh, I'm lost. I mean, [Chuckles] 856 00:51:25,676 --> 00:51:27,679 I'm at a loss for how beautiful you look. 857 00:51:29,889 --> 00:51:32,100 Hey, hey, hey, hey-- [Screams] 858 00:51:34,644 --> 00:51:36,854 Now, Tim, I hope you're gonna let me make it up to you. 859 00:51:36,979 --> 00:51:39,065 Oh, no, you don't have to do that. I mean, that-- 860 00:51:39,190 --> 00:51:44,737 Well, you know, that's up to you. I mean, if that's-- 861 00:51:47,323 --> 00:51:49,742 I brought a little peace offering. 862 00:51:49,867 --> 00:51:51,953 -Where are your wine glasses? -No, no, no-- 863 00:51:52,078 --> 00:51:54,956 That's the bedroom. No glasses up there. 864 00:51:55,081 --> 00:51:57,083 Oh, well, maybe I'll get a little tour later. 865 00:51:57,208 --> 00:51:59,419 -[Martin] Don't miss the bathroom! -I'm sorry? 866 00:51:59,544 --> 00:52:01,587 I have to go to the bathroom later. Later. 867 00:52:01,713 --> 00:52:04,424 Um, glasses are in the kitchen. 868 00:52:04,549 --> 00:52:06,592 Why don't I go get them, and you just... 869 00:52:06,717 --> 00:52:08,803 kind of make yourself at home. 870 00:52:08,928 --> 00:52:11,347 Okay. 871 00:52:13,516 --> 00:52:16,436 -Fantastic apartment, Tim. -Thank you very much. 872 00:52:16,561 --> 00:52:18,730 -[Cork Pops] -Ah, yeah, there we go. 873 00:52:18,855 --> 00:52:22,442 Oh! What a slob! 874 00:52:22,567 --> 00:52:27,572 [Humming] 875 00:52:28,948 --> 00:52:31,617 [Martin Grunting] Cut it out! 876 00:52:31,743 --> 00:52:35,663 -Hey! -Yes, let's fall in love 877 00:52:35,788 --> 00:52:37,832 -Ooh! -Why shouldn't we 878 00:52:37,957 --> 00:52:41,252 -Fall in love -Mmm, that's the spot. 879 00:52:41,377 --> 00:52:44,130 Let's take a chance 880 00:52:44,255 --> 00:52:48,259 -Ooh, yeah. Mmm. -Why be afraid of it, ba-ba-doo-day 881 00:52:48,384 --> 00:52:50,678 -Let's close our eyes -[Moaning] 882 00:52:50,803 --> 00:52:53,681 And make our own paradise 883 00:52:53,806 --> 00:52:58,853 -Little we know -Oh, oh, no, harder, like before. 884 00:52:58,978 --> 00:53:02,023 -Ahhh. -Oh, baby 885 00:53:02,148 --> 00:53:04,817 -Where's the wine? -Uh, uh-- 886 00:53:04,943 --> 00:53:08,696 Why shouldn't we fall in love 887 00:53:08,821 --> 00:53:11,366 -I'll get it. -Now is the time for it 888 00:53:11,491 --> 00:53:14,118 Let's fall in love 889 00:53:14,243 --> 00:53:16,204 You know, I asked Daddy about giving you another chance. 890 00:53:16,329 --> 00:53:18,498 Oh, oh, good! 891 00:53:21,417 --> 00:53:25,213 -Here we go. -Oh, lovely. Thanks. 892 00:53:27,966 --> 00:53:30,843 Hmm. You know, I thought that crash of yours... 893 00:53:30,968 --> 00:53:33,179 might make a kind of cute little story. 894 00:53:33,304 --> 00:53:36,349 -Oh, really? Good. That's-- -Mm-hmm. 895 00:53:36,474 --> 00:53:38,476 [Grunts] Ow, ow, ow, ow. 896 00:53:38,601 --> 00:53:41,187 Cut it out! 897 00:53:41,312 --> 00:53:43,523 -What was that? -Uh, I didn't hear anything. 898 00:53:43,648 --> 00:53:47,026 Tim, get rid of-- [Groaning] 899 00:53:47,151 --> 00:53:49,404 Are you all right? 900 00:53:49,529 --> 00:53:53,032 Yes, I just-- I really have to go to the bathroom. 901 00:53:53,157 --> 00:53:57,704 -Well, hurry back. -[Chuckles] 902 00:53:57,829 --> 00:54:00,915 -Why shouldn't we fall in love -Be a minute. 903 00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:03,710 -Now's the time while we're young -[Sighs] 904 00:54:03,835 --> 00:54:07,505 Tim! Get me outta here! 905 00:54:07,630 --> 00:54:10,341 Stop making all that noise! 906 00:54:10,466 --> 00:54:13,386 Tell her to stop punching me! Besides, what are you doing... 907 00:54:13,511 --> 00:54:15,513 letting that female in your apartment? 908 00:54:15,638 --> 00:54:18,766 I've been waiting a long time to get Brace Channing into my apartment. 909 00:54:18,892 --> 00:54:21,727 But you like Lizzie! I could tell through your saliva exchange. 910 00:54:21,853 --> 00:54:24,564 -Excuse me? -Look, Tim, the other night, 911 00:54:24,689 --> 00:54:26,691 when you were unconscious, Lizzie came here. 912 00:54:26,816 --> 00:54:29,402 -And you what, you kissed her? -Yes-- No, no-- 913 00:54:29,527 --> 00:54:31,696 Well, you did. 914 00:54:31,821 --> 00:54:33,781 I did a molecular identiclone of your body. 915 00:54:33,906 --> 00:54:36,409 -What? You what? -You'd never understand. 916 00:54:36,534 --> 00:54:38,453 You people think E-mail is amazing. 917 00:54:38,578 --> 00:54:41,247 The point is, while I was you, 918 00:54:41,372 --> 00:54:44,250 I tapped into your subconscious, and trust me, you like Lizzie. 919 00:54:44,375 --> 00:54:47,086 That's why I thought it was okay for you to kiss her. 920 00:54:47,211 --> 00:54:49,464 I-I-I didn't kiss her, you did! 921 00:54:56,929 --> 00:55:00,141 [Gasps] Bingo! 922 00:55:00,266 --> 00:55:05,396 Tim? I let myself in the back door. 923 00:55:05,521 --> 00:55:08,274 Hello? 924 00:55:08,399 --> 00:55:12,612 -Oh, isn't this nice? -Lizzie, is that you? 925 00:55:12,737 --> 00:55:16,324 Oh, you look, um, nice. 926 00:55:16,449 --> 00:55:18,785 He's in the bathroom, 927 00:55:18,910 --> 00:55:21,287 and he's all yours. 928 00:55:21,412 --> 00:55:23,581 I got what I came for. 929 00:55:27,794 --> 00:55:30,964 -Oh, this is great. -Tim! 930 00:55:31,089 --> 00:55:34,258 -We don't have a lot of time here! -I'm confused, all right? 931 00:55:34,383 --> 00:55:37,136 -Everything was going along fine until you came along. 932 00:55:37,261 --> 00:55:40,139 Even a substandard species such as yours has feelings. 933 00:55:40,264 --> 00:55:44,310 Just slow down for one millisecond and look into your heart. 934 00:55:44,435 --> 00:55:46,813 Whose face do you see? 935 00:55:53,778 --> 00:55:56,531 Look, Brace, I think-- Lizzie! 936 00:55:57,782 --> 00:56:00,827 Whoa! Lizzie, no, wait, wait-- 937 00:56:00,952 --> 00:56:04,122 -No, please! -This better be good. 938 00:56:04,330 --> 00:56:05,957 Oh, it is. It is. 939 00:56:06,082 --> 00:56:08,876 Uh, remember that guy I was with at the pier yesterday? 940 00:56:09,002 --> 00:56:12,088 -Your Uncle Martin. -He's not my uncle. 941 00:56:12,213 --> 00:56:14,215 He's a Martian! 942 00:56:14,340 --> 00:56:16,134 -[Chuckles] -Yeah. 943 00:56:16,259 --> 00:56:19,887 -You are such a jerk! -No, no, no. He's a Martian! 944 00:56:20,013 --> 00:56:23,057 It's the truth. In fact, he's the one who kissed you, not me. 945 00:56:23,182 --> 00:56:24,934 -Really? -Yeah. 946 00:56:25,059 --> 00:56:27,478 His head's in my sink right now. 947 00:56:27,603 --> 00:56:30,440 -[Grunts] -Get some sleep. You look awful. 948 00:56:30,565 --> 00:56:33,735 -Lizzie-- -And if there was anything kinky 949 00:56:33,860 --> 00:56:37,280 you better get Brace to give it back. 950 00:56:41,576 --> 00:56:45,580 [Zoot Grunts] Fine! Since when did I become a mechanic? 951 00:56:45,705 --> 00:56:49,250 -[Drill Whirring] -Do I look like overalls? 952 00:56:52,629 --> 00:56:54,631 Uncle Martin! 953 00:56:54,756 --> 00:56:57,508 -[Scissors Snipping] -[Zoot] Okay. Don't cut the red one. 954 00:56:57,633 --> 00:57:00,178 -Or was it the blue one? [Mumbling] -Ooh! 955 00:57:00,303 --> 00:57:03,348 I can't see a thing down here! 956 00:57:03,473 --> 00:57:05,475 Oh, thanks. 957 00:57:08,603 --> 00:57:10,813 -[Electricity Zapping] -Ow! Geez, that hurt! 958 00:57:10,938 --> 00:57:13,024 -[Screams] -No! 959 00:57:13,149 --> 00:57:15,652 Lady, please! Put a sock in it! Quiet! 960 00:57:15,777 --> 00:57:17,695 The baby's sleeping! 961 00:57:17,820 --> 00:57:20,156 Martin, I told you. We gotta get to the... 962 00:57:20,281 --> 00:57:22,283 TV station before Brace does. 963 00:57:22,408 --> 00:57:24,619 -[Martin] Open the bag! -Okay, okay. 964 00:57:24,744 --> 00:57:26,996 -[Gasping] I can't breathe! -I'm sorry. 965 00:57:27,121 --> 00:57:29,874 -Where is that confounded Zoot? -Zoot? Uh-- 966 00:57:29,999 --> 00:57:33,670 Zoot! Zoot! I think he's in the middle of a spin cycle. 967 00:57:33,795 --> 00:57:37,549 Leave him! Quick, Tim! Get my arm out of the other bag! 968 00:57:37,674 --> 00:57:40,176 -All right. Okay, okay, okay. -Okay. 969 00:57:40,301 --> 00:57:43,680 -Okay. -Yes! Excellent! Toward the ship! 970 00:57:43,805 --> 00:57:45,640 -Huh? What? -Higher! Higher! Okay, here! 971 00:57:45,765 --> 00:57:48,560 Here we go! [Grunts] Yes! 972 00:57:48,685 --> 00:57:51,229 -[Whimpering] -[Martin] Easy. Oh, no! 973 00:57:51,354 --> 00:57:54,983 -[Screaming] -Oh, no! Don't send me 974 00:57:55,108 --> 00:57:56,859 -[Whimpering] -Ohh! 975 00:57:56,985 --> 00:57:59,821 -What was that? -Uh-oh. 976 00:58:01,948 --> 00:58:03,908 Sweetie-pie, 977 00:58:04,033 --> 00:58:06,035 this is the most amazing footage I've ever seen. 978 00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:08,496 Felix! O'Hara's tapes are going on the 6:00. 979 00:58:08,621 --> 00:58:10,706 -Van Gundy, call the network. -Yeah? 980 00:58:10,832 --> 00:58:13,543 Brace is going out live with the story of the century! 981 00:58:16,296 --> 00:58:18,256 [Martin] I'm feeling a little carsick! 982 00:58:18,381 --> 00:58:20,383 -Oh! -Sorry. 983 00:58:20,508 --> 00:58:23,052 [Martin Grunting] 984 00:58:23,177 --> 00:58:26,723 I can't take it any more. I can't take it any more! 985 00:58:26,848 --> 00:58:30,852 -We're running out of time. Try and pull yourself together. 986 00:58:30,977 --> 00:58:34,439 Without my blasted electron accelerator, the I.S.S. will blow! 987 00:58:34,564 --> 00:58:36,733 I feel like a hacksaw murderer. 988 00:58:36,858 --> 00:58:39,277 What the heck is an electron accelerator anyway? 989 00:58:39,402 --> 00:58:42,405 It's a simple low-amperage power source that activates the main thrusters. 990 00:58:42,530 --> 00:58:46,284 -Oh. Kind of like an alternator? -What's an alternator? 991 00:58:46,409 --> 00:58:49,412 -It, uh, turns over the engine in a car. -[Gasps] A car? 992 00:58:49,537 --> 00:58:52,123 That's it! That should work! We're saved! 993 00:58:52,248 --> 00:58:54,250 -Not quite. -Yes, we are. 994 00:58:54,375 --> 00:58:57,003 -Whoo-hoo! Ha, ha, ha. -Listen, I've been-- 995 00:58:57,128 --> 00:58:59,923 I've been videotaping you. I've got everything. I got the ship. 996 00:59:00,048 --> 00:59:03,176 I got Zoot. I even got you in your Martian form. 997 00:59:03,301 --> 00:59:05,970 I was putting together a story, and I was gonna get it on the air, 998 00:59:06,095 --> 00:59:08,139 -but I couldn't do it. -Why not? 999 00:59:08,264 --> 00:59:09,933 Because I like you, Martin. 1000 00:59:10,058 --> 00:59:12,143 I like you. I-- 1001 00:59:12,268 --> 00:59:14,187 And I'm sorry. I-I just-- I'm sorry. 1002 00:59:14,312 --> 00:59:17,690 I I-- I apologize. I shouldn't have lied to you. 1003 00:59:17,815 --> 00:59:20,610 -You're a good human, Tim O'Hara. -Oh, oh, yeah. I'm a terrific-- 1004 00:59:20,735 --> 00:59:22,779 Martin! You're back! 1005 00:59:22,904 --> 00:59:25,031 And I like you too. 1006 00:59:25,156 --> 00:59:27,784 -Oh-ho! -I've never had feelings before! 1007 00:59:27,909 --> 00:59:29,786 -Oh. -[Chuckles] 1008 00:59:29,911 --> 00:59:32,872 Now, let's go fix my ship. 1009 00:59:32,997 --> 00:59:35,041 Yeah, okay-- No! No, we got a problem-- the tapes. 1010 00:59:35,166 --> 00:59:38,628 -Brace goes on with the Martian story in five minutes. 1011 00:59:38,753 --> 00:59:42,465 Yeah, and I got to get these tapes and get to Brace before she gets on the air. 1012 00:59:42,590 --> 00:59:45,134 But there's not enough time. You can't be in two places at once. 1013 00:59:45,259 --> 00:59:48,638 Yeah. Wait a minute! Come on! 1014 00:59:48,763 --> 00:59:51,182 Is there an alien amongst us? 1015 00:59:51,307 --> 00:59:55,144 Is there an alien amongst us? 1016 00:59:55,269 --> 00:59:57,647 -Is there an alien among-- -[Knocking] 1017 00:59:57,772 --> 01:00:01,317 Billy, now what? 1018 01:00:01,442 --> 01:00:04,070 I want to be Brace Channing. 1019 01:00:04,195 --> 01:00:06,572 Yeah, well, get in line. I'm sorry. 1020 01:00:06,697 --> 01:00:08,199 I really don't have time to do any auto-- 1021 01:00:09,951 --> 01:00:13,079 -[Gasps] -Quaint, aren't they? 1022 01:00:13,204 --> 01:00:15,832 These days, most of our young are born cable-ready. 1023 01:00:15,957 --> 01:00:17,834 You're the-- [Gasps] 1024 01:00:17,959 --> 01:00:21,087 [Gasps] Daddy! [Screams] 1025 01:00:22,630 --> 01:00:24,507 [Director] Heads up. Four minutes to air. 1026 01:00:24,632 --> 01:00:27,844 First positions, everyone. 1027 01:00:27,969 --> 01:00:31,764 Tim! What are you doing here? You look, uh, tired. 1028 01:00:31,889 --> 01:00:35,018 Oh, yeah. I was up all night with Brace working on the alien story. 1029 01:00:35,143 --> 01:00:38,563 I made a couple of mistakes in tape number two, 1030 01:00:38,688 --> 01:00:43,359 Now if I could just get through this without having to look in a mirror. 1031 01:00:43,484 --> 01:00:46,946 -Hmm. -[Director] 1032 01:00:49,907 --> 01:00:51,909 [Grunts] 1033 01:00:58,541 --> 01:01:00,585 Tim! 1034 01:01:00,710 --> 01:01:03,880 -Martin, is that you? -Does a wild bear blotz in the woods? 1035 01:01:04,005 --> 01:01:07,800 Good, good. Okay. Just-- Just read the copy as written. Go. 1036 01:01:09,844 --> 01:01:11,763 -Hi, Brace. -[Chuckling Nervously] 1037 01:01:11,888 --> 01:01:14,891 -Congratulations, Brace. -Yes, I'm Brace Channing. 1038 01:01:15,016 --> 01:01:17,477 [Man] Let's hear it for Brace! 1039 01:01:17,602 --> 01:01:21,064 [Whistling, Applauding] 1040 01:01:21,189 --> 01:01:25,068 -Dr Coleye, you're going to become a very famous man. 1041 01:01:25,193 --> 01:01:27,237 -[Announcer] KGSC. -Ready camera one live. 1042 01:01:27,362 --> 01:01:29,447 -The news for southern California... -[Grunting] 1043 01:01:29,572 --> 01:01:34,327 with anchor Howard Greenly and on special assignment, Brace Channing. 1044 01:01:34,452 --> 01:01:36,829 -What the hell is she wearing? -You know Brace. 1045 01:01:36,955 --> 01:01:40,917 -Yeah. Must be trendy. -[Director] Fifteen seconds, people. 1046 01:01:41,042 --> 01:01:45,922 [Mr. Channing] Sweetie-pie, get rid of the gum. 1047 01:01:46,047 --> 01:01:49,175 -Billy! -Come on, Brace! 1048 01:01:49,300 --> 01:01:52,762 -Get the gum, Billy! -[Man] Brace, ten seconds. 1049 01:01:52,887 --> 01:01:54,931 Ready? Camera two live in five-- 1050 01:01:55,056 --> 01:01:56,599 -Give me the gum, Brace! -No! No! No! 1051 01:01:56,724 --> 01:01:58,935 -Four-- -No! 1052 01:01:59,060 --> 01:02:01,604 -Three-- -Get the damn gum! 1053 01:02:01,729 --> 01:02:04,983 -[Roars] -[Announcer] 1054 01:02:05,108 --> 01:02:07,485 This report is being broadcast live. 1055 01:02:07,610 --> 01:02:10,279 -The gum is out. -Oh, good. Thanks to you, Felix. 1056 01:02:10,405 --> 01:02:14,200 [Announcer] And now, Howard Greenly... 1057 01:02:14,325 --> 01:02:16,536 -And cue Howard. -and Brace Channing! 1058 01:02:16,661 --> 01:02:18,955 -Good evening. I'm Howard Greenly. -[Groaning] 1059 01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:21,666 -What's up with her? -I don't know. 1060 01:02:21,791 --> 01:02:27,046 ...a story developing throughout the day right here in southern California. 1061 01:02:27,171 --> 01:02:31,801 Our own Brace Channing has been following the events as they take place. 1062 01:02:31,926 --> 01:02:34,220 -Brace? -[Groans] 1063 01:02:34,345 --> 01:02:36,723 -What is she doing? -Howard-- 1064 01:02:36,848 --> 01:02:38,850 -Camera two go. -No! 1065 01:02:38,975 --> 01:02:41,561 [Greenly] Brace? 1066 01:02:41,686 --> 01:02:43,813 -Brace! -Just read the copy! 1067 01:02:43,938 --> 01:02:46,816 [Groans] Just get the nurplex. 1068 01:02:46,941 --> 01:02:49,193 What's going on here? 1069 01:02:49,319 --> 01:02:51,320 Is there an alien amongst us? 1070 01:02:51,446 --> 01:02:54,323 -Oh. It's all right. -According to Dr Elliot Coleye, 1071 01:02:54,449 --> 01:02:57,827 chief biologist and head researcher for the SETI group, 1072 01:02:57,952 --> 01:03:00,246 the answer is-- 1073 01:03:00,371 --> 01:03:03,082 -[Gasping] -Yes. 1074 01:03:03,207 --> 01:03:06,669 -She's an alien! -She's not an alien. She's my daughter! 1075 01:03:06,794 --> 01:03:09,088 [Voice Tonality Wavering] What you're about to see is that evidence... 1076 01:03:09,213 --> 01:03:11,841 [Squawks] of the actual footage of the alien. 1077 01:03:11,966 --> 01:03:14,510 But I warn you-- it's appearance is unlike... 1078 01:03:14,635 --> 01:03:17,180 [Gasps] anything you are likely to have seen before. 1079 01:03:17,305 --> 01:03:20,433 She's going under the table. She's going under the table! 1080 01:03:20,558 --> 01:03:23,352 -[Continues, Voice Wavering] -And go. 1081 01:03:23,478 --> 01:03:26,689 -Feelin' hot, hot, hot -What the hell is this? 1082 01:03:26,814 --> 01:03:30,193 -Somebody mislabeled the tapes! -Come on. Got it! 1083 01:03:30,318 --> 01:03:32,737 -I don't know. Let's go back live. -Tim! 1084 01:03:32,862 --> 01:03:35,198 What is O'Hara doing with my daughter? 1085 01:03:35,323 --> 01:03:38,117 -I-I-I don't know. I-- -Get me out of here! 1086 01:03:38,242 --> 01:03:40,620 -[Chattering] -[Muffled Screaming] 1087 01:03:40,745 --> 01:03:43,539 -[Shouting] -Get me the network! 1088 01:03:43,664 --> 01:03:46,042 -You're a dead man, O'Hara! -Come on! 1089 01:03:46,167 --> 01:03:49,712 I think that went pretty well, don't you? 1090 01:03:49,837 --> 01:03:52,423 -[Muffled Shouting] -[Martin] All right. Calm down. 1091 01:03:52,549 --> 01:03:54,967 Search everywhere! 1092 01:03:55,093 --> 01:03:58,096 Boy, her head was dark and empty. 1093 01:03:58,221 --> 01:04:00,598 -There they are! There they are! -[Muffled Shouting] 1094 01:04:00,723 --> 01:04:02,809 Wait! 1095 01:04:04,852 --> 01:04:07,730 I think Miss Channing might have been contaminated by the alien. 1096 01:04:07,855 --> 01:04:10,775 -Hmm? -I'm just going to give her 1097 01:04:10,900 --> 01:04:13,069 [Muffled Shout] No! 1098 01:04:13,194 --> 01:04:15,279 I'll just be a moment. 1099 01:04:15,446 --> 01:04:17,407 Ah. There we go. 1100 01:04:17,532 --> 01:04:19,575 Let's see. Am I forgetting something? 1101 01:04:19,701 --> 01:04:22,579 Oh. [Humming] 1102 01:04:22,704 --> 01:04:25,415 There it is. 1103 01:04:25,540 --> 01:04:27,500 [Humming Resumes] 1104 01:04:27,625 --> 01:04:29,585 -Mrs. Brown! Down here! -[Martin] Lady, please. 1105 01:04:29,711 --> 01:04:33,131 -[Both Shouting] -Oh, this is darling. 1106 01:04:33,256 --> 01:04:35,591 -I'm gonna hurl! -[Shouting] 1107 01:04:35,716 --> 01:04:39,137 This will make some child very happy... if he's got a buck or two. 1108 01:04:45,101 --> 01:04:48,187 -Hey, Mrs. B. How are you? -Hello, fellows. 1109 01:04:50,064 --> 01:04:53,359 Zoot! Blotz! 1110 01:04:53,484 --> 01:04:55,612 My ship! Where's my ship? 1111 01:04:55,737 --> 01:04:58,281 -We only have two hours before it explodes! 1112 01:04:58,406 --> 01:05:00,366 Hurry! Zoot! 1113 01:05:01,576 --> 01:05:03,620 Zoot? Where are you? 1114 01:05:03,745 --> 01:05:06,873 Blotz! You're not Zoot. Where could he be? 1115 01:05:06,998 --> 01:05:09,792 I'm not leaving this planet without Zoot. Tim! 1116 01:05:09,917 --> 01:05:12,462 Not upstairs. 1117 01:05:12,587 --> 01:05:15,298 -What's a "rummaggie" sale? -"Rummaggie" sale? 1118 01:05:15,423 --> 01:05:18,718 -- Rummaggie-- Rummage. Mrs. Brown. 1119 01:05:24,140 --> 01:05:25,975 -[Tires Squealing] -[Siren Wailing] 1120 01:05:26,100 --> 01:05:28,311 -Looks like we got company. -Blotz! 1121 01:05:28,436 --> 01:05:31,814 It's them! After them! 1122 01:05:31,939 --> 01:05:37,487 -[Sirens Wailing] -Hang on. 1123 01:05:37,612 --> 01:05:39,739 -Ooh. -I repeat, Gilford and Third. 1124 01:05:39,864 --> 01:05:43,993 Give me that thing. I want a roadblock! 1125 01:05:44,118 --> 01:05:48,331 -We're never gonna lose 'em! -Can't you drive any faster, 1126 01:05:52,835 --> 01:05:54,921 -Uh-oh, we're in trouble. -[Martin] Maximum thrust! 1127 01:05:55,046 --> 01:05:57,382 -What? -Stand on it, Stan! 1128 01:05:58,883 --> 01:06:01,177 -We're gonna crash! -[Triggers Cocking] 1129 01:06:01,302 --> 01:06:03,680 -I think not! -[Device Beeps] 1130 01:06:03,805 --> 01:06:07,559 [Tires Squealing] 1131 01:06:07,684 --> 01:06:09,727 -[Tires Squealing] -Aah! 1132 01:06:10,978 --> 01:06:13,398 -Oh! -Shoot it! Come on! 1133 01:06:15,650 --> 01:06:17,902 -They're shooting at us! -Duck in that garage. 1134 01:06:18,027 --> 01:06:20,446 -What garage? -There! 1135 01:06:21,864 --> 01:06:24,242 [Both Screaming] 1136 01:06:24,367 --> 01:06:27,453 Oh. Tim, why are we stopping? 1137 01:06:29,330 --> 01:06:32,375 -[Car Ignition Grinding] -They're right there. 1138 01:06:32,500 --> 01:06:36,129 God! 1139 01:06:36,254 --> 01:06:39,549 -Get me that thing over there! We're gonna flush 'em out! 1140 01:06:39,674 --> 01:06:42,051 -I dropped it! -What? Dropped what? 1141 01:06:42,176 --> 01:06:44,804 -My molecular compressor! -Here. 1142 01:06:44,929 --> 01:06:47,056 Use this. 1143 01:06:47,181 --> 01:06:51,060 -This won't work! -No, use it to find it. 1144 01:06:52,729 --> 01:06:55,898 That'll do very nicely. Now, get it in there! 1145 01:06:56,024 --> 01:06:57,984 Uh! Uh! Nuts! 1146 01:06:58,109 --> 01:07:00,069 Ahh! I found it! 1147 01:07:00,194 --> 01:07:02,321 [Coleye] We've got you now! 1148 01:07:03,573 --> 01:07:05,658 -Tim! -I see it! 1149 01:07:08,369 --> 01:07:10,955 -[Martin Groans] -[Tim] Sorry. 1150 01:07:12,540 --> 01:07:16,002 [Shouting] 1151 01:07:20,715 --> 01:07:24,260 -Faster. Faster. -It's getting closer! 1152 01:07:24,385 --> 01:07:27,930 -I'm going as fast as I can! -That's not fast enough! 1153 01:07:28,056 --> 01:07:31,142 [Screaming] 1154 01:07:37,649 --> 01:07:41,361 Martin! Martin, up ahead! We're trapped! Quick, make us smaller. 1155 01:07:45,823 --> 01:07:48,701 We're not gonna make it! 1156 01:07:48,826 --> 01:07:51,537 Hang on! 1157 01:07:54,832 --> 01:07:59,128 -Are we clear? -[Martin] Whoa-ho, I think we did it! 1158 01:07:59,253 --> 01:08:01,965 -I see light ahead! -Oh. Whoa, whoa-ooh! 1159 01:08:02,090 --> 01:08:04,842 [Both Screaming] 1160 01:08:15,436 --> 01:08:19,649 -Where the heck are we? -[Man] Hey, Elma, 1161 01:08:19,774 --> 01:08:22,819 [Woman] It's in the bathroom, right where you left it. 1162 01:08:22,944 --> 01:08:25,363 Oh, yeah. I see it now. 1163 01:08:25,488 --> 01:08:28,324 By the way, where's my tuna sandwich? 1164 01:08:28,449 --> 01:08:31,661 -You want it in there? -Ha-ha. Ohh! 1165 01:08:31,786 --> 01:08:35,081 Why'd I eat that fourth burrito? [Grunting] 1166 01:08:35,206 --> 01:08:38,209 -Uh-oh. -[Grunting Continues] 1167 01:08:41,629 --> 01:08:44,507 [Flatulent Sounds] 1168 01:08:46,008 --> 01:08:49,762 -Do it. Do it now. -[Device Beeping] 1169 01:08:49,887 --> 01:08:52,390 Uh! Uh, uh, uh-- [Screaming] 1170 01:09:02,233 --> 01:09:04,527 -Sorry, buddy. -I'll get you, you son of a b-- 1171 01:09:04,652 --> 01:09:08,406 -No! -Sir, the police just had a crank call. 1172 01:09:08,531 --> 01:09:11,451 -A '62 Plymouth just came out of a toilet on Woodlawn. 1173 01:09:15,204 --> 01:09:17,206 [Martin] Stop! Pull over! Pull over! 1174 01:09:17,332 --> 01:09:19,292 We need to talk! Pull over! 1175 01:09:19,417 --> 01:09:21,544 [Brakes Squealing] 1176 01:09:21,669 --> 01:09:23,588 -Pull over there. -Where? Oh. 1177 01:09:23,713 --> 01:09:26,424 -Get the alternator. I'll get the ship! -Okay. 1178 01:09:26,549 --> 01:09:30,803 Oh, my goodness! Martin! What's wrong? 1179 01:09:30,928 --> 01:09:32,889 Forgive me, Lorelei, but this is urgent. 1180 01:09:33,014 --> 01:09:35,391 -You have something I need desperately. -Oh, wow. 1181 01:09:35,516 --> 01:09:38,895 -Martin, don't say that unless you mean it. 1182 01:09:39,020 --> 01:09:44,067 -I'm from another world. -Oh, well, I could have told you that. 1183 01:09:50,239 --> 01:09:53,284 -[Grunts] -Oh! Mmm! 1184 01:09:53,409 --> 01:09:56,162 Mar-- Martin? 1185 01:09:56,287 --> 01:09:58,581 Martin, come on! 1186 01:10:00,750 --> 01:10:03,294 When you look at the stars, think of me. 1187 01:10:03,419 --> 01:10:06,089 -Oh. [Giggles] -[Barks] 1188 01:10:06,214 --> 01:10:10,468 [Gasps] Oh! Whew! 1189 01:10:10,593 --> 01:10:13,095 Feelings for an Earth woman-- I've gotta get off this planet. 1190 01:10:13,221 --> 01:10:15,181 I've got it! 1191 01:10:15,306 --> 01:10:17,684 I don't have the right tools, so I'm having trouble getting-- 1192 01:10:17,809 --> 01:10:21,437 Oh! Or we could do it your way. 1193 01:10:21,562 --> 01:10:24,941 But wait! This means your vehicle will cease to function. 1194 01:10:25,066 --> 01:10:27,652 I know how much it means to you. 1195 01:10:27,777 --> 01:10:31,113 Well, that's too bad. Just had the darn thing washed too. 1196 01:10:38,246 --> 01:10:40,498 That's good! That's-- 1197 01:10:40,623 --> 01:10:42,625 Martin? Martin? 1198 01:10:45,128 --> 01:10:47,881 -[Coleye] Direct hit! -Uncle Martin? 1199 01:11:00,143 --> 01:11:03,313 [Tim] Hey! Hey, what-- 1200 01:11:03,438 --> 01:11:06,983 Hey, you don't know what you're doing! Hey, hey! 1201 01:11:07,108 --> 01:11:11,737 Don't mess with that spaceship! It's gonna explode! 1202 01:11:11,862 --> 01:11:13,906 -Narrow the beam. -Intensify. 1203 01:11:14,031 --> 01:11:16,826 [Lizzie Groaning] 1204 01:11:16,951 --> 01:11:19,495 I'm not flame-retardant! 1205 01:11:19,620 --> 01:11:22,665 We're in here! Stop it! 1206 01:11:22,790 --> 01:11:24,709 -[Sobbing] -We're gonna die. 1207 01:11:24,834 --> 01:11:28,838 -Die? And I'm still virgin wool! -It's okay. 1208 01:11:28,963 --> 01:11:31,508 I'm scared! Hold me! [Sobbing] 1209 01:11:31,633 --> 01:11:33,551 Oh, this is nice. 1210 01:11:33,676 --> 01:11:35,887 [Beeping] 1211 01:11:38,681 --> 01:11:43,186 [Coleye] Easy does it. 1212 01:11:43,311 --> 01:11:46,189 Great. 1213 01:11:46,314 --> 01:11:50,527 -Wow. Fascinating. -[Woman] Doctor. 1214 01:11:50,652 --> 01:11:53,029 It appears to be some sort of... 1215 01:11:53,154 --> 01:11:55,698 biomechanical transmitting device. 1216 01:11:55,823 --> 01:11:58,075 Doctor, there's some chewing gum wedged back in his molar. 1217 01:11:58,201 --> 01:12:00,870 Leave it! Pestering me with Juicy Fruit! 1218 01:12:00,995 --> 01:12:04,540 This guy's got a radio station inside of his skull! Here. 1219 01:12:04,666 --> 01:12:08,211 We'll put this under the electron microscope later. Whoa-ho! 1220 01:12:08,336 --> 01:12:11,923 Excellent. Armitan's gonna be eating his words! 1221 01:12:12,048 --> 01:12:15,551 Perfect ending to an already perfect day. 1222 01:12:15,676 --> 01:12:19,555 -He's a little pale. -I think he's having a negative 1223 01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:21,933 Well, two CCs of adrenaline, stat! 1224 01:12:22,058 --> 01:12:24,936 -Doctor, I think we're losing him. -[Yelling, Pounding] 1225 01:12:25,061 --> 01:12:27,605 -Nothing. -[Man] Shut it down. 1226 01:12:27,730 --> 01:12:31,442 -Get ready to try it again. This time, full power. 1227 01:12:33,236 --> 01:12:35,571 -He's pointing to the thing. -Pick it up. Pick-- 1228 01:12:35,696 --> 01:12:37,782 Pick it-- Yeah. No. No, no, no. 1229 01:12:37,907 --> 01:12:40,243 No, that one. That one. 1230 01:12:40,368 --> 01:12:43,287 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 1231 01:12:43,413 --> 01:12:46,332 This. Do this. 1232 01:12:46,457 --> 01:12:50,795 -[Beeping] -Yes! 1233 01:12:52,922 --> 01:12:55,758 [Shouting] 1234 01:12:59,220 --> 01:13:01,639 Whoa-oh-oh! 1235 01:13:04,892 --> 01:13:07,145 No. No, no. Oh. 1236 01:13:07,270 --> 01:13:09,439 -Tim! -Oh! 1237 01:13:09,564 --> 01:13:11,941 All right, back off, Gomer. Hey. 1238 01:13:12,066 --> 01:13:13,943 Give me that, dipstick! 1239 01:13:14,068 --> 01:13:16,029 You get Tim. I'll scare the locals. 1240 01:13:16,154 --> 01:13:18,281 [Shouts] 1241 01:13:18,406 --> 01:13:20,199 -Let's get out of here! -Call security! 1242 01:13:20,324 --> 01:13:22,702 -[All Shouting] -Nobody will take on the suit! 1243 01:13:22,827 --> 01:13:25,288 My zipper is stuck, and I'm mad as hell! 1244 01:13:25,413 --> 01:13:28,124 -Lizzie, what-- -Tim! Oh, are you okay? 1245 01:13:28,249 --> 01:13:30,543 -Fine, fine. Are you okay? -Oh, you wouldn't believe-- 1246 01:13:30,668 --> 01:13:34,631 -Yeah. -[Beeping] 1247 01:13:34,756 --> 01:13:37,884 -We got to find Martin. -Yeah. 1248 01:13:38,050 --> 01:13:40,887 Back off! You heard me. 1249 01:13:41,012 --> 01:13:43,473 You don't understand. That spaceship's gonna explode in 20 minutes. 1250 01:13:43,598 --> 01:13:46,225 -It is? -On the floor. Now. 1251 01:13:47,769 --> 01:13:49,979 Excuse me. Arnold, Jean-Claude? 1252 01:13:50,104 --> 01:13:53,566 [Shouts] Not working. Oh. 1253 01:13:53,691 --> 01:13:56,319 -It's an empty suit. -Empty suit? 1254 01:13:56,444 --> 01:13:59,530 Now you've done it, Grasshopper. Whoo-aah! 1255 01:14:02,450 --> 01:14:05,161 Boxing? [Chuckles] 1256 01:14:05,286 --> 01:14:07,330 -You should be boxing groceries. -[Grunts] 1257 01:14:07,455 --> 01:14:09,874 [Laughs] That tickles, ya big ox! 1258 01:14:09,999 --> 01:14:13,002 Say, aren't you one of the Spice Girls? 1259 01:14:13,127 --> 01:14:15,755 -[Growling] -Alley-oop! 1260 01:14:15,880 --> 01:14:17,549 [Crashes] 1261 01:14:17,674 --> 01:14:19,675 Beavis down, Butt-head to go. 1262 01:14:19,800 --> 01:14:23,179 So, is it true you peed your bunk in summer camp? Ouch! 1263 01:14:23,304 --> 01:14:25,765 -[Screams] -[Gasping] 1264 01:14:25,890 --> 01:14:29,727 Oh, Gee-- Tim! Lizzie! 1265 01:14:29,852 --> 01:14:32,522 -[Zoot Muttering] -[Grunts] 1266 01:14:39,154 --> 01:14:41,572 -[Grunting] -Ooh! 1267 01:14:41,697 --> 01:14:44,909 [Groaning] 1268 01:14:46,202 --> 01:14:48,037 -[Growls] -[Screams] 1269 01:14:48,162 --> 01:14:50,289 -[Growling] -[Groaning] 1270 01:14:52,375 --> 01:14:55,211 [Groaning Continues] 1271 01:14:56,504 --> 01:14:58,882 -Uh-oh. -[Grunts] 1272 01:14:59,007 --> 01:15:01,092 -This is gonna hurt. -Ooh! 1273 01:15:01,217 --> 01:15:03,970 -Ow! -[Lizzie Gasps] 1274 01:15:04,095 --> 01:15:07,098 -[Blows Landing, Both Grunting] -Lizzie! 1275 01:15:07,223 --> 01:15:09,058 The ship's going to explode! 1276 01:15:09,183 --> 01:15:11,728 Veenox Seven. Chew this. 1277 01:15:11,853 --> 01:15:14,898 -[Punching Continues] -[Tim] You gotta believe it! 1278 01:15:25,366 --> 01:15:28,077 Whoa-oh-oh-oh! 1279 01:15:28,202 --> 01:15:30,621 -[Growls] -[Screaming] 1280 01:15:41,382 --> 01:15:44,677 -[Snarls, Roars] -[Screams] 1281 01:16:00,735 --> 01:16:03,112 [Belches] Uh-oh. 1282 01:16:03,237 --> 01:16:05,823 Did you do something with your hair? 1283 01:16:05,948 --> 01:16:09,786 Glad you noticed. [Roars] 1284 01:16:17,085 --> 01:16:19,546 [Mutters] Whoop! 1285 01:16:19,671 --> 01:16:21,673 [Sighs] 1286 01:16:24,926 --> 01:16:27,970 -I think I liked you better the other way. 1287 01:16:28,095 --> 01:16:31,349 -[In Raspy Voice] Well, that can be arranged. 1288 01:16:31,474 --> 01:16:35,478 -Where's Zoot? -[Moaning] 1289 01:16:35,603 --> 01:16:38,231 Oh, no. 1290 01:16:39,607 --> 01:16:42,068 Come on! Come on! 1291 01:16:42,193 --> 01:16:44,862 Doctor, he's gone. 1292 01:16:44,987 --> 01:16:48,157 He's not gone till I say he's gone, so back off! 1293 01:16:48,282 --> 01:16:50,868 -Back off! Now! -[Nurse] Charge the paddle. 1294 01:16:50,993 --> 01:16:54,080 -[Man] All right, we're charged. -[Coleye] Clear! Clear! 1295 01:16:54,205 --> 01:16:57,333 All right. Clear! 1296 01:16:57,458 --> 01:17:00,712 -Come on, Martin. -[Electricity Buzzing] 1297 01:17:00,837 --> 01:17:02,922 -Oh, damn! -There's no pulse, Doctor. 1298 01:17:03,047 --> 01:17:07,218 All right, all right. I'm calling it. 8:15. 1299 01:17:07,343 --> 01:17:11,514 -We're too late. -[Zoot] No, hurry! 1300 01:17:11,639 --> 01:17:15,018 -[Man] Would you like me to do the autopsy, Doctor? 1301 01:17:15,143 --> 01:17:17,562 -You get out of here! Get out! -All right. All right. 1302 01:17:17,687 --> 01:17:20,189 All of you idiots, you get out. You get out. 1303 01:17:20,315 --> 01:17:22,942 -I'm goin'! -You get right out. Clowns! 1304 01:17:23,109 --> 01:17:25,069 Come on. 1305 01:17:25,195 --> 01:17:30,199 Okay, my sorry little Martian. 1306 01:17:30,324 --> 01:17:33,369 Have it your way. 1307 01:17:33,494 --> 01:17:36,205 Let's open you up. 1308 01:17:36,331 --> 01:17:40,627 -[Lizzie] Assistance, Doctor? -What? No! You-- 1309 01:17:40,752 --> 01:17:43,213 Hey, wait a minute. You're not-- 1310 01:17:43,338 --> 01:17:45,882 -She came with me. -Oh. 1311 01:17:46,007 --> 01:17:48,593 [Electricity Zapping] 1312 01:17:48,718 --> 01:17:51,387 [Moans] 1313 01:17:56,059 --> 01:17:58,978 [Zoot's Voice] Must... be together. 1314 01:18:18,957 --> 01:18:20,667 Zoot! 1315 01:18:33,095 --> 01:18:35,515 -[Gasps] -Martin? 1316 01:18:38,393 --> 01:18:42,021 -Martin! -[Groans] Tim! Lizzie! 1317 01:18:42,146 --> 01:18:44,941 -You're-- You're-- -[Zoot] Breathin', baby! 1318 01:18:45,066 --> 01:18:47,777 Oh, you beauteous bathrobe! [Laughs] 1319 01:18:47,902 --> 01:18:49,946 -Martin-- -Let's see cotton do that, huh? Easy. 1320 01:18:50,071 --> 01:18:52,949 -I got an image! -[Martin] Okay, okay. 1321 01:18:53,074 --> 01:18:55,034 Martin! Martin! 1322 01:18:55,159 --> 01:18:58,162 -We don't have much time. -Blotz! 1323 01:18:58,287 --> 01:19:00,957 -[Man, Over Loudspeaker] Shut down and monitor all exits. 1324 01:19:01,082 --> 01:19:03,293 [Men Chattering, Indistinct] 1325 01:19:03,418 --> 01:19:06,212 [Woman, Over Loudspeaker] All units stand by for total lockup. 1326 01:19:08,089 --> 01:19:10,216 -Martin, can you get the lock? -I think so. 1327 01:19:11,759 --> 01:19:14,053 -[Electricity Humming] -Come on! 1328 01:19:16,097 --> 01:19:18,975 -[Man, Over Loudspeaker] Biotech units on alert. 1329 01:19:19,100 --> 01:19:21,978 [Woman, Over Loudspeaker] All non-security personnel... 1330 01:19:22,103 --> 01:19:25,023 -are to report to their holding areas. -Come on. Stay down! 1331 01:19:25,148 --> 01:19:28,818 -Stay down. -Here's a place! 1332 01:19:28,943 --> 01:19:31,070 All right. Stand back, you two. 1333 01:19:31,195 --> 01:19:33,197 [Device Beeping] 1334 01:19:40,955 --> 01:19:43,833 -[Siren Wailing] -What's going on? Where's the alien? 1335 01:19:43,958 --> 01:19:47,003 -There's been a slight problem. -Open that gate. Let's find Dr Coleye. 1336 01:19:47,128 --> 01:19:48,922 -Yes, sir, yes, sir. Right away. -Come on! 1337 01:19:49,047 --> 01:19:50,882 Let 'em through! 1338 01:19:52,216 --> 01:19:54,260 Here. 1339 01:19:56,971 --> 01:19:59,766 There. [Grunts] Contact. 1340 01:19:59,891 --> 01:20:02,602 There. I think that's going to work. 1341 01:20:04,354 --> 01:20:06,356 I'm gonna miss you, Martin. 1342 01:20:06,481 --> 01:20:10,527 -[Zoot Giggles] -You too, Zoot. 1343 01:20:10,652 --> 01:20:13,237 Hey, let 'em know how you feel! [Chuckles] 1344 01:20:13,362 --> 01:20:15,364 You're the best pet I ever had! 1345 01:20:15,490 --> 01:20:17,700 Stop being such a baby blanket! 1346 01:20:17,825 --> 01:20:20,620 [Mutters] 1347 01:20:20,745 --> 01:20:23,247 Lizzie, my dear friend. 1348 01:20:24,374 --> 01:20:27,418 Take care, Uncle Martin. 1349 01:20:29,838 --> 01:20:34,258 I've done that before. It's very nice. I highly recommend it. 1350 01:20:36,844 --> 01:20:40,098 Good luck, you two. 1351 01:20:44,519 --> 01:20:47,564 Something tells me you're gonna miss your flight! 1352 01:20:47,689 --> 01:20:50,775 -Then in two minutes, we all die. -You're lying. 1353 01:20:50,900 --> 01:20:54,612 Are you certain about that, Coleye? 1354 01:20:54,737 --> 01:20:57,657 -Because I'm not. -What are you saying? 1355 01:20:57,782 --> 01:21:00,952 -Release him. -Release him? 1356 01:21:01,077 --> 01:21:04,664 I have spent an entire career trying to prove that aliens exist. 1357 01:21:04,789 --> 01:21:06,666 Now he's my proof! 1358 01:21:06,791 --> 01:21:10,253 Dead or alive, he's staying with me! 1359 01:21:10,378 --> 01:21:12,088 Oh. Ohh! Ohh! 1360 01:21:12,213 --> 01:21:14,591 Whoa! Aah! 1361 01:21:14,716 --> 01:21:18,094 -Martin? -I don't understand! I-- I-- 1362 01:21:18,219 --> 01:21:21,806 Coleye, you always were a little blotz. 1363 01:21:21,931 --> 01:21:25,310 -[Coleye] What? -Neenurt! 1364 01:21:25,435 --> 01:21:29,105 Ha ha ha! I haven't heard that name in a long time. 1365 01:21:29,230 --> 01:21:33,526 -Pronounced properly, anyway. -You mean it was you all along? 1366 01:21:33,651 --> 01:21:38,823 I can't believe this! I should have known! You're a Martian? 1367 01:21:38,948 --> 01:21:40,950 I was-- Uhh! Aah! 1368 01:21:41,075 --> 01:21:43,786 [Screaming] 1369 01:21:50,793 --> 01:21:54,339 Waaah! [Grunting] 1370 01:21:54,464 --> 01:21:58,217 -[Chuckling] -Wait. You're the one I saw at the pier. 1371 01:21:58,342 --> 01:21:59,969 I was trying to get to you before they did. 1372 01:22:00,094 --> 01:22:02,972 I've been trying to hitch a ride home for 30 years! 1373 01:22:03,097 --> 01:22:06,476 What a beauty! Oh, by the way, 1374 01:22:06,601 --> 01:22:08,895 I believe these belong to you. 1375 01:22:09,020 --> 01:22:11,814 [Gasps] My antennae. 1376 01:22:11,940 --> 01:22:15,318 I can't go home without these. I have a hard enough time getting dates as it is. 1377 01:22:15,443 --> 01:22:19,363 Mine's always giving me trouble too. And everything's in black and white. 1378 01:22:19,488 --> 01:22:22,825 -[Groaning] -And those commercials-- 1379 01:22:22,950 --> 01:22:26,412 That gum lost its flavor in '66. 1380 01:22:26,537 --> 01:22:29,374 All right. Let's go. Let's go. Come on. 1381 01:22:29,499 --> 01:22:32,585 -Got to go. Farewell. -Come back for a visit sometime. 1382 01:22:32,710 --> 01:22:35,338 Maybe. 1383 01:22:35,463 --> 01:22:38,383 I'm beginning to see a glimmer of potential among you Earthlings. 1384 01:22:38,508 --> 01:22:42,345 One word of advice: You'll never completely advance as a culture... 1385 01:22:42,470 --> 01:22:46,182 until you take care of your oceans and do away with daytime talk shows. 1386 01:22:48,643 --> 01:22:50,853 Goodbye, you crazy lovebirds! 1387 01:22:50,979 --> 01:22:53,731 Ah, stop being such a hysterical housecoat. 1388 01:22:53,857 --> 01:22:59,195 -See ya, Zoot. -Rollin', rollin', rollin' 1389 01:23:00,821 --> 01:23:04,242 [Growling] Aliens! 1390 01:23:07,704 --> 01:23:10,957 Wait! No! 1391 01:23:11,082 --> 01:23:13,209 Please! No! You can't! 1392 01:23:13,334 --> 01:23:16,129 Don't go! Come back! 1393 01:23:16,254 --> 01:23:19,883 No-o-o! 1394 01:23:20,008 --> 01:23:22,552 [Growls] 1395 01:23:22,677 --> 01:23:23,928 Aah! 1396 01:23:24,053 --> 01:23:26,305 What the-- Eeew! 1397 01:23:26,431 --> 01:23:29,892 Gum. Gum! 1398 01:23:30,018 --> 01:23:33,229 Wait, this is the alien gum! Yes! 1399 01:23:33,354 --> 01:23:35,565 Wait, wait. I wouldn't do that if I were you. 1400 01:23:35,690 --> 01:23:38,818 Well, you're not me, are ya? [Laughs] 1401 01:23:40,695 --> 01:23:42,655 I can learn more about them... 1402 01:23:42,780 --> 01:23:44,949 from their leftover-- 1403 01:23:45,074 --> 01:23:47,160 Wha-- That's brilliant! 1404 01:23:47,285 --> 01:23:49,787 I can feel every molecule of my body... 1405 01:23:49,912 --> 01:23:51,956 starting to change! 1406 01:23:52,081 --> 01:23:55,126 [Laughing] 1407 01:23:56,711 --> 01:23:58,671 Aah! 1408 01:23:59,798 --> 01:24:02,133 Oh, no. 1409 01:24:06,220 --> 01:24:08,681 Hold it! Don't move! 1410 01:24:08,806 --> 01:24:12,101 -No! -Stop! Don't shoot! 1411 01:24:12,226 --> 01:24:14,646 No, not that, you idiots! 1412 01:24:14,771 --> 01:24:18,149 -I'm not a Martian. -We got him, boys. 1413 01:24:18,274 --> 01:24:20,443 We've got one-- a real live Martian! 1414 01:24:20,568 --> 01:24:24,655 It's me. Coleye. No! No! 1415 01:24:24,780 --> 01:24:27,033 Aah! 1416 01:24:27,158 --> 01:24:29,869 [Man] The truth is out there! 1417 01:24:29,994 --> 01:24:33,498 We are not leaving until they listen to us! We've got proof! 1418 01:24:33,623 --> 01:24:36,793 I saw one! He cloned my body! 1419 01:24:36,918 --> 01:24:38,795 He could be anywhere by now! 1420 01:24:38,920 --> 01:24:41,297 The truth is out there! 1421 01:24:41,422 --> 01:24:43,341 The truth is out there! 1422 01:24:43,466 --> 01:24:46,802 So that's the story here from Santa Barbara City Hall. 1423 01:24:46,928 --> 01:24:49,972 -I'm Bill Randall, KGSC. -[Crowd Chanting] 1424 01:24:50,098 --> 01:24:52,725 the truth, the truth, the truth! 1425 01:24:52,850 --> 01:24:54,894 It's all I-- 1426 01:24:58,773 --> 01:25:03,361 -Hey, sleepy. Brought you some tea. -[Chuckles] 1427 01:25:06,531 --> 01:25:10,993 Listen, I've been thinking. Now that I really know what happened between us, 1428 01:25:11,119 --> 01:25:14,330 I think maybe we should just go back to the way things used to be. 1429 01:25:14,455 --> 01:25:15,832 Mmm. 1430 01:25:15,957 --> 01:25:18,001 Our friendship really does mean a lot to me. 1431 01:25:18,126 --> 01:25:21,588 Yeah, well, I've been thinking too, and, uh, 1432 01:25:21,713 --> 01:25:23,923 I think I've got enough friends. 1433 01:25:29,470 --> 01:25:31,431 [Whooshing Sound] 1434 01:25:48,155 --> 01:25:50,408 [Rattling] 1435 01:25:50,533 --> 01:25:55,288 -[Hissing] -One giant leap for man, 1436 01:25:55,413 --> 01:25:58,708 -Zoot? -Hey, Tim, Lizzie! We're back! 1437 01:25:58,833 --> 01:26:02,545 -[Chuckles] -Zoot-- [Grunts] 1438 01:26:02,670 --> 01:26:05,799 Oh! Geez! Call a skycap, for cryin' out loud. 1439 01:26:05,924 --> 01:26:08,050 -What's wrong? -Nothing. 1440 01:26:08,175 --> 01:26:11,387 We've decided to stay here with you. 1441 01:26:11,512 --> 01:26:15,308 -Y-You what? -I kept thinking how lonely 1442 01:26:15,433 --> 01:26:17,560 And since you said you were gonna miss me, 1443 01:26:17,685 --> 01:26:21,105 I thought I'd save us both the heartache of separation. 1444 01:26:21,231 --> 01:26:23,274 Ya-hah! Whoo-hoo-hoo! 1445 01:26:23,399 --> 01:26:28,154 B-B-B-But, Martin, I can't miss you if you don't go! 1446 01:26:28,279 --> 01:26:31,741 Exactly! Isn't it wonderful? 1447 01:26:31,866 --> 01:26:35,244 Farewell, Neenurt! 1448 01:26:35,370 --> 01:26:37,789 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Where's he going? 1449 01:26:37,914 --> 01:26:40,583 To Mars, of course! 1450 01:26:40,708 --> 01:26:44,003 [Whooshing] 1451 01:26:45,463 --> 01:26:48,299 -Whoo! [Chuckling] -Wh-- 1452 01:26:48,425 --> 01:26:51,010 Martin. Martin. What are you doing? 1453 01:26:51,135 --> 01:26:54,639 Tim, since we'll be living together, let's do something about this furniture. 1454 01:26:54,764 --> 01:26:57,350 -Living together? What do you mean-- -I say we get rid of this couch, 1455 01:26:57,475 --> 01:27:00,937 and buy a hyperbolic resting chamber like normal beings have. 1456 01:27:01,062 --> 01:27:03,690 -No! No! You're not staying here. -Hey, who wants ice cream? 1457 01:27:03,815 --> 01:27:06,776 -[Chuckles] -Tonight I'm craving praline swirl. 1458 01:27:06,901 --> 01:27:08,945 -Martin-- You think this is funny? -[Chuckling] 1459 01:27:09,070 --> 01:27:10,947 You haven't seen him eat ice cream. It's not pretty! 1460 01:27:11,072 --> 01:27:14,659 Rocky road! Rocky road! Rocky road! [Shouts] 1461 01:27:14,784 --> 01:27:16,869 -Martin, you can't-- He doesn't sleep. -[Shouting Continues] 1462 01:27:16,994 --> 01:27:18,955 He doesn't let me sleep. This can't happen. 1463 01:27:19,080 --> 01:27:21,291 I can't have a Martian for a roommate. 1464 01:27:21,416 --> 01:27:23,793 I can't. I just-- 1465 01:27:23,918 --> 01:27:26,004 -Oh, maybe I can. -[Chuckles] 1466 01:27:26,129 --> 01:27:30,841 Zoot! We've got cookie dough. Want some? 1467 01:27:30,967 --> 01:27:33,219 Zoot. Zoot, where are you? 1468 01:27:33,344 --> 01:27:37,473 Bartender, a Mai "Tide", please. 1469 01:27:37,598 --> 01:27:40,685 Ah, Victoria's Secret. 1470 01:27:40,810 --> 01:27:44,147 You people know how to live! 1471 01:27:44,272 --> 01:27:46,733 [Chuckles] Lycra. 112963

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.