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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:03,786 Have you been drinking today, ma'am? 2 00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:05,396 Of course not. 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:06,789 If it were a vodka, would I do this? 4 00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:08,008 Oh... 5 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:14,710 FX'sAtlanta, the final season now streaming. 6 00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:32,945 ♪ Hey, good morning, baby♪ 7 00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:35,818 ♪ You need some java, baby?♪ 8 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:39,082 ♪ We got to wake up, baby♪ 9 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,954 ♪ Last night was really crazy♪ 10 00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,000 ♪ I think I liked it, baby♪ 11 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,958 ♪ Damn, you smooth, baby♪ 12 00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:49,484 ♪ Looking like you moisturize, baby♪ 13 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:52,095 ♪ Tell me where to buy it, baby♪ 14 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,444 ♪ I'm dry, I need the product, baby♪ 15 00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:56,534 ♪ Got my hand on navel♪ 16 00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:59,537 ♪ Then she slid her panties to the ankle♪ 17 00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,713 ♪ Made me back up and look at the bussy♪ 18 00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,063 ♪ Bussy glistening like a heavyweight♪ 19 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:07,371 ♪ You want to fuck me, baby?♪ 20 00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:09,069 ♪ Haven't showered in a minute, girl♪ 21 00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:11,593 ♪ But if you with it, then I'm with it, baby♪ 22 00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:14,161 ♪ I will shower you with every curl♪ 23 00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,598 ♪ Are you freaky, baby?♪ 24 00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:18,817 ♪ Spooning me like I was soup♪ 25 00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:21,559 ♪ Want me to be dirty like a goose?♪ 26 00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:24,736 ♪ Ooh, but what do you like, baby?♪ 27 00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:27,522 ♪ Do you want me to choke you, baby?♪ 28 00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:29,567 ♪ She said, "That's okay, baby"♪ 29 00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,613 ♪ "That's okay" as in you want that?♪ 30 00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,964 ♪ Or "That's okay" as in "No, thanks, baby"?♪ 31 00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:37,358 ♪ She look at me crazy♪ 32 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,229 ♪ I said, I don't mean to complicate it, no, no♪ 33 00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:41,579 ♪ Let me grab a condom, baby♪ 34 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:44,147 ♪ I put it on, then she, then she♪ 35 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,671 ♪ Throws it back, give me the ass, pop it♪ 36 00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:49,457 ♪ Tickle the breast, nibble the crack, stop it♪ 37 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,372 ♪ General Custer, with the tactics, I'm a demon ♪ 38 00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:54,940 ♪ I could feel the semen creeping 'round the penis♪ 39 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,942 ♪ Being a man in there♪ 40 00:01:56,986 --> 00:02:00,076 ♪ We need a ambulance, pussy getting killed♪ 41 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,992 ♪ She orgasming, body spasming♪ 42 00:02:03,035 --> 00:02:07,170 ♪ Then I finally finish, can you feel it, baby?♪ 43 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:08,780 ♪ Sliding off, where's the condom?♪ 44 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,870 ♪ Whoa! Well, it's not on my penis, baby♪ 45 00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:14,525 ♪ It's so confusing, baby♪ 46 00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,919 ♪ Uh, did I-did I just fuck you raw, baby?♪ 47 00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:18,616 ♪ Uh, I'm looking round and I don't see it, baby♪ 48 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,227 ♪ I move the blanket, move the covers ♪ 49 00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,098 ♪ Where's the rubber, baby?♪ 50 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,492 ♪ Now she's digging like a caveman in her bussy for it ♪ 51 00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:27,016 ♪ Even if you find it in there, what's the difference, baby?♪ 52 00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:29,497 ♪ Semen probably already leaking in there, swimming in you♪ 53 00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:30,715 ♪ She says she still don't want no condoms♪ 54 00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:31,890 ♪ Sitting in her insides♪ 55 00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,414 ♪ I said I understand♪ 56 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,589 ♪ But there are bigger fish to fry♪ 57 00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,156 ♪ She said, "You blaming me"♪ 58 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,027 ♪ "But you're the one who put it on"♪ 59 00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,029 ♪ I am not blaming you, and I don't think I put it on wrong ♪ 60 00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:42,118 ♪ I put it on my pinky first to see which way it go♪ 61 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,729 ♪ Because I'm well aware that condoms aren't reversible♪ 62 00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:46,035 ♪ She screamed, "I found it, baby!"♪ 63 00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,167 ♪ She pulled it out her bussy♪ 64 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,342 ♪ But I can't celebrate it♪ 65 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,647 ♪ 'Cause we got bigger fishy♪ 66 00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:50,909 ♪ Girl, I ejaculated ♪ 67 00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,215 ♪ And I don't see it in there♪ 68 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,912 ♪ She said it's fine ♪ 69 00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,610 ♪ She'll just take the morning-after pill♪ 70 00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,873 ♪ Oh, oh♪ 71 00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,614 ♪ Thank God for the tech now♪ 72 00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:02,530 ♪ We should probably go and get it now♪ 73 00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:05,881 ♪ This is life when you're young and wild.♪ 74 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,188 Don't worry, it'll be fine. 75 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:11,669 Okay. Let's lie down after all that. 76 00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,671 Ah. Take the load off. 77 00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:16,283 Get in here. 78 00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:18,198 Oh. 79 00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,157 -Wow. -Okay. 80 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,985 I fucked Lil Dicky. 81 00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,878 I promise you, bro. You cannot get a STD 82 00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:49,011 going in the pussy raw for only ten seconds. 83 00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,447 Who says it was ten seconds? 84 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,319 It could've been ten, it could've been 48. 85 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,321 I have no idea. I fucked the condom off my dick 86 00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:55,931 trying to give her this, like, rock star style sex 87 00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,541 that I assume she wants out of me. 88 00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:58,890 You area rock star. This your first tour. 89 00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,414 You're supposed to go hard. 90 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,024 That's the whole issue, in my opinion. 91 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,374 I feel like all of these girls just want to fuck Lil Dicky. 92 00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:07,029 Is it really a crime to want someone who wants 93 00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,987 to fall in love with... 94 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,598 -the real Dave? -Bro, you got to think about her needs. 95 00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,252 She got her nails done, she got her outfit. 96 00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,731 She told all her friends. 97 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,211 It's gonna be the highlight of her year. 98 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,082 You got to beat the pussy up, bro. 99 00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,259 But I don't even... I don't fuck like this. 100 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,477 That's not how I fuck, Gata, okay? 101 00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:23,306 I-I do this. It's more... It's rhythmic. 102 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,090 Man, that shit look complicated, man. 103 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,484 Complicated? It's so simple. It's missionary. 104 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,579 Hi. 105 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,323 You're just gonna bust those open, bruh? 106 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,759 -You ain't gonna pay for them first? -I'm gonna pay for 'em. 107 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:44,153 Just chill out. 108 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:55,817 Y'all find everything okay? 109 00:04:57,079 --> 00:05:00,256 Yeah. Oh. 110 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,127 I'm sorry. 111 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:06,044 You guys have condoms here? 112 00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,524 It's the same condoms everywhere. 113 00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,178 Why don't they make, like, 114 00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,571 smaller condoms for the smaller dicks? 115 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:13,661 Like, they make Magnums for, like, big-dicked men. 116 00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,184 I feel like the condom would stay on the dick easier 117 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,403 if it was smaller sometimes. 118 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:17,882 If you're that concerned about STDs, 119 00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:19,884 why don't you just use the Scroguard, bro, 120 00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,408 that Mike got you-- that plastic diaper shit? 121 00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,845 Uh, that's private business. Don't talk about it. 122 00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:26,456 I don't know what he's talking about, but he's not dangerous. 123 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:30,025 -You crazy, man. -They know I'm joking. 124 00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:32,114 Man, they got the Confederate flag in there, bro. 125 00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,594 It's the Texas flag. 126 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,292 Looked pretty Confederate to me, man. Hey, Cliff. 127 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,902 I got the goods. 128 00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,208 -Ooh. -Pistachios, but I can't... 129 00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:41,297 -For you. -Merci. 130 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,386 -They break my teeth, man. -For you. -Thank you. 131 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,475 -You want to smoke this? -All right, man. It's hot. 132 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,477 Uh, I'll take a hit, I guess. 133 00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,699 You just wet my fucking blunt. You're fucking nasty. 134 00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,048 I'm gonna get some color. 135 00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:54,571 Racist. 136 00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,356 No disrespect. 137 00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:17,681 Trying to burn off the bacteria? 138 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:20,162 I'm just not built for this. 139 00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,643 I can't be, like, the rapper who goes around 140 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:25,385 and fucks every night. That's not my thing. 141 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,430 But I'm trying to rewire my brain 142 00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:28,866 so I can actually have fun for once. 143 00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,433 You've been stressed. You've been working so hard. 144 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,435 I know. And tour is just the one time in life 145 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:35,046 -where there's no album to hand in. -Yup. 146 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,048 There's no songs to make. I can just be free 147 00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,702 -and live life to the F. -Yup. 148 00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:41,052 It's exactly like the time I was up in the air. It was one 149 00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:43,315 -of those moments... -This has nothing to do with skydiving. 150 00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:44,316 This has everything to do with skydiving, David. 151 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,709 -Nothing to do... -No, when you're 152 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:46,667 hurtling toward the earth 153 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,059 at 120 miles an hour, 154 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,670 you're reaching max veloce, it's incredible. 155 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:50,975 And the chute doesn't open, you start to freak out, 156 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,934 but that's when you learn. You learn, David. 157 00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,023 -When the instructor kisses you -Mm. 158 00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,373 on the small of your neck, and he says, "I'm sorry!," 159 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,594 that's when you learn to let go. 160 00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:04,206 I desperately crave a genuine romantic connection. 161 00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,948 Like, I need to fall in love. That's just who I am. 162 00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:10,125 -Well, maybe you shouldn't hook up with your fans anymore. -Okay. 163 00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,648 Maybe you shouldn't... We don't need this 164 00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,215 -for the documentary, okay? -Yeah, we do. 165 00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:16,218 Don't tell me what to do with my documentary. 166 00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,698 Uh, I don't want this footage, Emma. 167 00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:18,699 You don't know what you're gonna use. 168 00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:19,743 Get different stuff. 169 00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:33,670 -I can't listen to this another time. -It's exhilarating. 170 00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,367 But what I'm saying is 171 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:36,456 when you're plummeting towards the earth at terminal velocity, 172 00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:37,369 God, I get it.-the earth 173 00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,936 it's gonna swallow you whole. 174 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,547 It's so scary, dude, but you live. 175 00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:43,027 I love this story. He's still telling the story, huh? 176 00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:44,376 -Yeah. -Hey, LD, what's them islands 177 00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:45,943 we going to on this tour? 178 00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,771 Uh, I don't know the specifics, but... 179 00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:50,165 We going to the Specifics, y'all. 180 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,819 -Specifics. -Huh. Um... 181 00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:53,690 -Are you performing tonight? -Oh, no. 182 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,736 Tonight's all about my sweet baby G right here. 183 00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:57,999 -Gata's night, baby. -Big dog's night. -Hey, Lubbock, Texas 184 00:07:58,042 --> 00:07:59,653 -ain't ready for a nigga like me. -They're not. 185 00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,219 They never were. They never were a day. They never will be. 186 00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:03,134 -That's what I do. -Uh, that's what you've been doing. 187 00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:05,963 -Big G! -Gata. 188 00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,661 Aw, LD, do one song with me, bro. 189 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,924 No, thank you. 190 00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:12,317 It's my one night off. Come on. I-I'm trying 191 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,754 -to blend into the background, be a normal guy. -Yeah. 192 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:14,929 It's hard to meet your wife when you're onstage 193 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,757 -being the star. -Well, some people say 194 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,149 -that's the easiest way to meet your wife. -Aw. 195 00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:20,412 You're with him every day? How do you resist him? 196 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:22,980 -Are you serious? -Look, 197 00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:24,504 I just want to know if everyone's all in 198 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,027 to have the best night they can possibly have. 199 00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,550 'Cause I need that type of comradery... 200 00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,469 ♪ Too many women, I got too many women♪ 201 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,298 ♪ Man, my biggest problem, I got too many women♪ 202 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:39,214 ♪ Damn, my head's spinning, I got too many women♪ 203 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:41,259 ♪ Am I living in sin and I see too many women♪ 204 00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:44,698 ♪ I'm married to the money, but I'm in love with my women ♪ 205 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,439 ♪ Dark-skinned, light-skinned, Puerto Rican, Asian♪ 206 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,920 ♪ Sorry, Mama, but your son is crazy♪ 207 00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:52,314 ♪ I'm-a get it together if they pay me.♪ 208 00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:55,012 Yeah. 209 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,884 Yeah! 210 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,147 Dicky! Dicky! 211 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:03,151 -Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! -Oh, no, no, no. Gata. 212 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:06,110 -Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! -Gata. Gata. 213 00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:08,243 -Dicky. Dicky. -Thanks. 214 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,940 Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. 215 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:12,203 I appreciate the love y'all got for my boy Dicky, man. 216 00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,728 I've been trying to get him out here on this stage tonight, 217 00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:17,034 but he on some Carmen Sandiegotype shit. 218 00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,167 Let's see if we can get him on stage right now! 219 00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,780 GATA:: LD! LD! LD! 220 00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:26,087 ALL: LD! LD! 221 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:30,221 LD! LD! LD! LD! 222 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,970 ♪ I'm drunk, I'm drunk♪ 223 00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:44,409 ♪ I'm really, really drunk♪ 224 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,934 ♪ I'm drunk♪ 225 00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,980 ♪ I'm really, really wasted♪ 226 00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,679 ♪ Man, I'm so fucked-up♪ 227 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:55,725 ♪ I might suck a man's dick, no, I'm playing, ha-ha.♪ 228 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,034 Want to take a shot? 229 00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:04,342 What's your deal right now? Why are you so lethargic? 230 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,391 You just got sucked. 231 00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:12,046 Sloppy toppy, bro. 232 00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,743 Who sucked you? 233 00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,353 -I had to, man. You... -Where? 234 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:19,749 What does this... Whatever, I don't care. 235 00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,751 Let's have fun tonight. Do you want a drink? 236 00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:24,972 Honestly, bro, I'm exhausted as fuck, bro. 237 00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:26,756 -I'm about to go lay down, dawg. -You're leaving? 238 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,019 -Yeah, man. Yeah. -What about my night off? 239 00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:30,934 What about the plan that-that you committed to? 240 00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:33,067 -Man, I'm going, gone. -Gata. 241 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,808 -You never honor the plan, man. -Hey, text me 242 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,157 when you get to the hotel. 243 00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,818 -Hi. -Hi. 244 00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,776 -Is this a good time? -Yeah. 245 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:49,126 Great, 'cause I made something for you. 246 00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:50,954 -Oh, okay. -Um... 247 00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,652 Oh, my God. 248 00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,175 It's you. 249 00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:55,785 -Oh, that's me? -Yeah. 250 00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:57,787 Oh, wow. It's so heavy. 251 00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,571 It's concrete, that's why. 252 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,182 It's, like, sharp, too. 253 00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:02,792 -I'm kind of nervous. -Don't be nervous. 254 00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,054 This is great. You're doing great. 255 00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:06,274 -Hey. Oh. -Oh. 256 00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:09,016 I appreciate this so much, okay? 257 00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,844 I'm such a big fan of yours. 258 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,846 -Thank you. -Um, I love Penithso much, 259 00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,543 and I'm really trying to break into the industry, so... 260 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,197 -Yeah. -Ah, here I am. 261 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,242 Well, let me tell you firsthand, 262 00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:21,158 things are surprisingly possible in life, okay? Go for it. 263 00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:22,682 Wow. 264 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,161 -Yeah. -Thank you. 265 00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:25,946 -Sure. -Lil Dicky, I love you. 266 00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:27,599 I love you, too, okay? Be safe. 267 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:40,787 -I never knew that. -Yeah. All right. 268 00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,142 Fuck. Oh, shit. 269 00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,887 You doing all right? 270 00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,366 What? 271 00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:58,369 Are you doing all right? 272 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,373 Oh. Yeah. 273 00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:06,421 Just a little statutory, uh, issue I'm taking care of. 274 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,945 Yeah, I'm just cleaning up somebody else's mess. 275 00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,555 -Hi. -Hi. 276 00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,209 -How you doing? -I'm good. I'm sor... 277 00:12:12,253 --> 00:12:13,994 I don't-I don't know you. 278 00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,909 Well, how could you? We're just now meeting. 279 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,911 No, I know, but I know you're, like, a singer or something, 280 00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,521 -just here with my friends, but I just... -Oh. 281 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:20,696 I've never heard of you. 282 00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,743 Honestly, I prefer that. 283 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,309 Like, great. It's good 284 00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:27,703 that you have a clean slate on my personality. 285 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,836 -Oh. -Yeah, I'm a-I'm a rapper, actually, not a singer. 286 00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:32,534 I do sing, song-write, all that. 287 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:35,015 Oh, you did that song about being drunk. 288 00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:36,712 What was... what was it called? 289 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,627 -It was... -"I'm Drunk." 290 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,411 Oh, yeah, well, I'm on my way. 291 00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,283 You... pig. 292 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:46,722 I don't know. So, what's your deal-- 293 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,724 you just go to live music venues 294 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,292 without even knowing who the person is and you have fun? 295 00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:54,512 Wednesdays are like my Fridays. I'm a nurse, so... 296 00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,514 -Ah. A nurse? -Yeah. Had to 297 00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,647 come blow off some steam, you know? 298 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,127 I appreciate everything you do, uh, 299 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,738 behind the scenes for all the sick. 300 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,219 -Thank-thank you. -Yeah. But okay, 301 00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,264 I can't go any further without knowing your name, 302 00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,831 -so... -Oh, it's Campbell. 303 00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,354 Campbell? 304 00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:11,529 Yeah, like the soup. 305 00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,357 It's a perfect name. 306 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,011 -Thanks? -Campbell, 307 00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:17,013 can I ask you a relatively hard-hitting question? 308 00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:18,449 Yeah. 309 00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:19,755 What's your availability 310 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,583 as far as being hit on right now? 311 00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:24,412 Uh... 312 00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:26,109 Like, would you say you're open-minded, or not at all? 313 00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:28,372 Uh... 314 00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:31,593 Yeah, I think I, uh... I'm... 315 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,813 I'm definitely open to it. 316 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,990 This is fun. 317 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,557 People are actually crazy. 318 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,733 They were literally pouring tequila in their eyes. 319 00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:45,825 Like, why? I wish I had, like, 40 cameras. I keep missing shit. 320 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,218 Just ask them to redo it. 321 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,525 I can't do that for my doc. It's not real. 322 00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:54,137 Real? None of this is real, Emma. Are you crazy? 323 00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:56,400 -What... -We're on tour right now. Tour's not real. 324 00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:58,925 When we come to town, it's like their version of the Super Bowl. 325 00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:01,623 Okay, Mr. Big Shot Who's Been On Tour. 326 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,277 Do you not understand that white people act out 327 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,800 when they see a camera? 328 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,107 -What? -Trust me. Come on. 329 00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:11,198 -Wait... -White boy summer! 330 00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,591 -White boy summer! -White boy summer! 331 00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:17,944 Then I'm gonna continue to smoke this joint, then. 332 00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,423 -All right. -Oh, hi, man. 333 00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:21,295 MAN: LD! 334 00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:23,166 Thank you. 335 00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,907 Does that get annoying? 336 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,040 It's just praise. It's... All it is is praise. 337 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:29,999 -Okay. -But it's the life I chose. 338 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,958 -Yeah. -I always wanted to be ubiquitous. 339 00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:36,788 Well, uh... good luck, and you have a new fan, 340 00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:38,747 and I really hope that you make it. 341 00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,575 Get this out of here. 342 00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,055 You're saying goodbye? 343 00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:43,708 -Well... -You're not about to leave. 344 00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:45,754 -Uh... -You can't be. You're not gonna 345 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:47,103 let something like this totally evaporate. 346 00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,975 No. No, no, no. I'm engaged. 347 00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,933 -Oh, of course you are. -No, no, no. 348 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,543 No, no, no! No, no, like... 349 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:55,546 Like, I'm engaged in the conversation. 350 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,592 -Oh. -Yeah. 351 00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:59,028 So, a bunch of us are gonna go to my friend Connor's. 352 00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:00,421 He's having a little get-together. 353 00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,205 -Oh. -You want to come? 354 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,207 'Cause I like hanging out with you. 355 00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:06,775 I like hanging out with you so much. 356 00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:09,691 -All right. -I do have a tour bus 357 00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:12,128 -parked half a block away. It's so charming. -Oh, no. 358 00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:15,218 I'm-I'm not, like, a groupie. I'm just a regular girl. 359 00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:18,352 Of course you are. I respect that. 360 00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,310 -We'll go to... Connor's? -Yeah, Connor. 361 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,877 Okay. I have to grab something off that bus. 362 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,792 -Will you stay here? -Yeah. 363 00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,359 Okay, because, in my opinion, I feel as though 364 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,622 this is what life is all about-- moments like this. 365 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,104 We'll figure something out later, but yeah. 366 00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:32,975 -We'll figure it out. We'll work on it. -Okay. All right. 367 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:36,370 You're getting ready to have a blast, 368 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:39,416 but you're not sure about someone's sexual past. 369 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:43,855 Part of the skin of your genital area has a cover, 370 00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:46,554 but most is still exposed to your lover. 371 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:48,425 Not anymore. 372 00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:52,560 Now there's Scroguard. 373 00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:57,217 The powerful new product that you can wear with any condom. 374 00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,741 The secret is the high-quality premium latex 375 00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:02,222 that is thick enough to cover your genital area 376 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:05,007 but thin enough to feel like a second skin. 377 00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:06,966 Just fasten any two buttons 378 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,968 securely into place, and when you're ready... 379 00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,666 Hey, Dave... Oh, shit! 380 00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:14,625 -Oh! -Geez. Uh... No shitting on the bus! 381 00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,192 No, I'm not-I'm not shitting! 382 00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:18,238 I'm just fixing my pants. 383 00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:21,067 I changed my underwear 'cause I met a girl 384 00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,982 and I was talking to her, and I-I, like, 385 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,766 soaked my first underwear with pre-cum. 386 00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,421 -Okay. -I-I met a girl. 387 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:30,032 Uh, congratulations, man. I'm happy for you. 388 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,991 -Wish me luck. -You deserve love, Dave. 389 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,951 -♪ Worry about tomorrow tomorrow♪ -♪ Don't drink and drive♪ 390 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,474 ♪ Give me that pizza, dawg, give me that pizza♪ 391 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,041 ♪ You know, I gotta eat ya♪ 392 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,000 ♪ Uber says my driver's name is Gangi♪ 393 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,132 ♪ And he said he's hard of hearing♪ 394 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:45,178 -♪ Cool, I don't care...♪ -Sorry. 395 00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,484 -No, this is honestly my fault, uh... -Anyway, anyway, okay. 396 00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,834 -It was like 3:00 a.m., and we're all, like -Yeah. 397 00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:51,662 -Sure. -drunk as piss, and all of a sudden, we hear, 398 00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,360 like a "bang, bang, bang." Like, Jurassic Parkor something. 399 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,449 -It was like... -Oh, my God. What was it-- like, a rapist? 400 00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,146 No, no. It was actually my goat. 401 00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:58,974 My goat got out of its pen. It was, like, ramming its horns 402 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,324 -against the glass. Ramming... -Wait, hold it. You have a goat? 403 00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:02,717 -Like, you're a goat owner? -Mm-hmm. 404 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,327 Yeah, I got a bunch of goats. 405 00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,764 You're, like, out of a fable. 406 00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,940 Hey, you're the fucking GOAT, LD. Come on. 407 00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:11,378 -Hey, y'all, shut the fuck up! -Thank you, bro. 408 00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,423 Sorry. Don't even look at that. 409 00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,425 -I'm sorry. I'm sorry. -He's fine. Oh. 410 00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,123 Get in here. 411 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,820 Wow, you just broke the touch barrier. 412 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,517 So nonchalantly, 413 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,302 you're just gonna break it like that, and not even... Wow. 414 00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:24,869 -I mean, someone had to. -I'm totally on board with it, FYI. 415 00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:27,437 -Um... -Oh, my God. 416 00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,007 I have to pee. 417 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,096 Yeah. I understand that. 418 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,490 I've had to pee in the past, and you never know when it's coming. 419 00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,753 -Thank you. All right. -Yeah. I'm right there with you. 420 00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:40,059 -Get all the piss out. -All right. 421 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,321 -I'll be right here. I'm great. -Okay. 422 00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:42,626 I'm in heaven. 423 00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:52,375 What's up, man? 424 00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:55,639 Hey. You guys hanging? 425 00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:56,814 -How you doing? -Good. 426 00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:59,469 Hey, man, so... 427 00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,430 What? 428 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,521 You like Ram? 429 00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:10,350 R-Ram? Uh, do I like what? 430 00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,308 -Uh... -What do you mean? Like the... 431 00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,745 -Like the processing power? -It's... 432 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,007 the L.A. Rams. Like, Los Angeles Rams. 433 00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:18,488 -Like, uh, football team. -Oh, shit. 434 00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,664 Is he okay, or is he on, like, Oxys or something? 435 00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:23,406 -No, no. I mean... -Is this Appalachia that we're in? 436 00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,800 'Cause I know all about the opioid crisis that you probably 437 00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:26,975 have to deal with at every moment. 438 00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,585 I've got molly, if you want some. 439 00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:31,762 Oh. No, thanks. 440 00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:34,722 It's, like, dark purple. 441 00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:36,680 I'm okay. 442 00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:39,030 I don't even understand the color spectrum of molly, but... 443 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:42,251 -What's your name? We haven't met. -Grace. 444 00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:46,212 -You... Race? -Hey, are you hiring, by the way, LD? 445 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:49,737 -No. -Um, I majored in-in golf course management. 446 00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:51,782 -Uh-huh. -Um, but there's a lot 447 00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:54,002 -of crossover between the two. -Yeah, I think 448 00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,047 you're better off on the greens there, 'cause, like, 449 00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:59,138 -we're just so fully staffed. -No, yeah, yeah, yeah. 450 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,704 Yeah. 451 00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:03,185 Um, normally, 452 00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,882 like, shit's like way more popping, you know? Like... 453 00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,232 -No. -It's pretty low-key, 'cause it's Wednesday night 454 00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,495 -and shit, and, like... -All good. All G. 455 00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,192 But, yo, like, normally, we're playing, like, 456 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,760 Mancala or, like, Cards Against Humanity, 457 00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:14,631 -or, like, fucking... -Sure. 458 00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,981 -If you came back, like, on a... -Yeah. 459 00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:19,332 No, don't... No presh, man. I'm, like, just happy to be... 460 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:22,073 I'm honestly here 'cause of Campbell. 461 00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:23,727 -Bro. -Yeah. 462 00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:26,861 I heard her pussy's a straight-up V. 463 00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:30,952 I... Yeah, I believe you. Um... 464 00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:33,650 Hey, you know what? Fuck it. Hey, Hey, Travis! 465 00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:36,044 Hey, fire that shit up! We're playing Hot Seat, bitch. 466 00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:37,567 What are we doing? 467 00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,311 It's a prank phone call- based game? 468 00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,139 -Mm-hmm. Shh. -How often do you play it? 469 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,532 All right. All right. 470 00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:50,928 -Hello? -Hey. 471 00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:53,888 I'm... I'm with your brother. 472 00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:56,891 Wait, Tim's with you? He okay? 473 00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:59,241 -He's OD'ing. -Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 474 00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:00,938 Did you call 911? 475 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:03,637 Yeah, but they can't... 476 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,857 -Come on. -revive... Aah! 477 00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:08,598 It's the hot seat! Fuck! 478 00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:09,947 Okay, I'm gonna get another drink. 479 00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:11,601 Where you going? 480 00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:13,864 -I'm getting another drink. -Hurry back. -Hey, LD. 481 00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:16,084 Wait. You probably got all sorts 482 00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:17,477 of celebs and shit in your phone. 483 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,043 Wait. I... 484 00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,262 Come on. 485 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,743 Alfonso Ribeiro? 486 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,310 That a pasta? 487 00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:26,964 Carlton? That doesn't mean anything when I say it? Carlton? 488 00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,010 All right, all right, all right. LD, come on. It's your turn. 489 00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:30,620 -Oh, no. I'm... -Come on. Get on that hot seat, 490 00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:31,621 -for old times' sake. -You... 491 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:32,796 Let me watch how you... 492 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,145 -Fuck you. -What are you doing? 493 00:20:34,189 --> 00:20:36,060 -Wow. What? -Okay. 494 00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:39,063 So you're really not gonna kiss me right now? 495 00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:43,198 Why-why would you think that? It's crazy of you. 496 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,330 Campbell, would you come out here? 497 00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,723 Your friends are getting a little dicey. 498 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,464 -Oh. -Need you back here. 499 00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:50,727 Fuck. She blew it. 500 00:20:50,771 --> 00:20:53,774 -What do you mean? -I mean, fucking passed out. 501 00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,602 -No, she's not. -Yeah. 502 00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:00,911 I'm drunk. 503 00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:03,740 -She's drunk. -Guns up! 504 00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:07,701 -Guns up! -Guns up, motherfuckers! 505 00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:10,312 Aw, that sucks. Her mission was to fuck you tonight. 506 00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,881 Wait, what do you mean, you said it was her mission? 507 00:21:13,924 --> 00:21:16,753 -Like, going into the night? -Yeah. 508 00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,755 Then why did she tell me when I met her 509 00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,714 that she had never heard of Lil Dicky? 510 00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:22,759 Oh, is that what she told you? 511 00:21:22,803 --> 00:21:24,108 She probably just said that 512 00:21:24,152 --> 00:21:26,023 'cause she's watched all your interviews. 513 00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:27,721 She knows that's what you want to hear. 514 00:21:27,764 --> 00:21:31,638 She's a die-hard. I mean, she knew what to tell you. 515 00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:34,641 Okay. I'm-I'm gonna leave. 516 00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:37,208 No, no, no, no, no. No, come on, man. No, no, no. 517 00:21:37,252 --> 00:21:38,645 -Yeah. -LD, no. There's a bunch of people still coming. 518 00:21:38,688 --> 00:21:40,777 This shit's just getting started. 519 00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:42,562 -Come on. -It's so late. We leave tomorrow. 520 00:21:42,605 --> 00:21:45,347 This is literally the best night of my entire life, man. 521 00:21:45,391 --> 00:21:48,263 That's... Really? 522 00:21:49,264 --> 00:21:50,657 Yes. 523 00:21:52,136 --> 00:21:54,443 Uh, I'm sorry. 524 00:21:54,487 --> 00:21:56,619 Or congrat... 525 00:21:56,663 --> 00:21:58,142 I don't know what to say to that. 526 00:21:58,186 --> 00:22:00,144 Tell us what it's like. 527 00:22:00,188 --> 00:22:02,495 Just tell us what it's really, really like. 528 00:22:02,538 --> 00:22:05,324 -It's not like anything, man. -Yeah, man, 529 00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:08,065 do the girls just fap for you, nonstop? 530 00:22:08,109 --> 00:22:10,372 Fap? 531 00:22:13,288 --> 00:22:17,901 -All right, sit down. -Okay. All right. 532 00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:19,163 -You guys want to know what it's like. -Oh, fuck, yeah. 533 00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:20,426 I'll tell you what it's really like. Yeah. 534 00:22:20,469 --> 00:22:23,167 Here's what it's like. I go around America 535 00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:25,256 and I meet people like you, and every single time, 536 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,780 they look at me exactly the way 537 00:22:26,823 --> 00:22:28,303 you guys are staring at me right now. 538 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,392 It's weird. And people have preconceived notions 539 00:22:30,436 --> 00:22:32,655 about the way that I behave, about the way that I fuck. 540 00:22:32,699 --> 00:22:34,657 I feel that. 541 00:22:34,701 --> 00:22:37,007 Fucking ain't easy, broham. 542 00:22:37,051 --> 00:22:40,359 Not easy at all. I've had so many insane sexual encounters. 543 00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:43,187 And truthfully, the thing that I want the most 544 00:22:43,231 --> 00:22:46,974 is incredibly simple, but I could never really ask for it. 545 00:22:47,017 --> 00:22:48,802 What? 546 00:22:50,064 --> 00:22:53,763 So, my dick is shaped like a manatee. 547 00:22:53,807 --> 00:22:55,069 In the sense that, like, you know how, like, 548 00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:56,984 the manatee is... have, like, a bend 549 00:22:57,027 --> 00:22:59,508 and, like, a... So my dick is bent. 550 00:22:59,552 --> 00:23:02,119 The thing that satisfies me most in life 551 00:23:02,163 --> 00:23:06,602 is when that bend simply gets straightened. 552 00:23:06,646 --> 00:23:09,126 There's no STD threat whatsoever. 553 00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:11,520 It's truly my heaven on Earth, but I could never ask for that 554 00:23:11,564 --> 00:23:13,174 because it's so weird, 555 00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:14,871 and the women would tell all their friends. 556 00:23:14,915 --> 00:23:17,657 But that wouldn't happen with my soulmate. 557 00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,572 I'm looking for love. 558 00:23:19,615 --> 00:23:21,617 I'm looking for my wife, okay? 559 00:23:21,661 --> 00:23:23,663 Hey, let us see your dick. 560 00:23:26,143 --> 00:23:29,799 No. But you asked me what it's like. 561 00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:30,800 It's not even that interesting. 562 00:23:30,844 --> 00:23:31,801 -It's actually... -Come on, Dicky. 563 00:23:33,542 --> 00:23:35,501 -Come on. -Uh... I love it. 564 00:23:35,544 --> 00:23:36,763 Hey, come on, Lil Dicky. 565 00:23:36,806 --> 00:23:37,764 Come on, Lil Dicky, come on. 566 00:23:37,807 --> 00:23:38,765 Let me see it. 567 00:23:38,808 --> 00:23:39,853 You always talk all this shit 568 00:23:39,896 --> 00:23:40,984 about your dick, 569 00:23:41,028 --> 00:23:43,117 but you never show it to anybody. 570 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,814 -Come on, Lil Dicky. -Come on! 571 00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:47,556 -Show us your fucking dick! -Come on! -Come on! 572 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,123 Show us your fucking dick! 573 00:23:51,865 --> 00:23:54,084 What the fuck is that? 574 00:23:54,128 --> 00:23:56,478 A diaper? 575 00:23:56,522 --> 00:23:59,394 No, uh... It's, uh, 576 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:01,701 it's called the Scroguard. It's, uh... 577 00:24:01,744 --> 00:24:04,051 Look it up on YouTube. It's the funniest thing you'll ever see. 578 00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:06,706 It's, like, STD prevention, 579 00:24:06,749 --> 00:24:08,795 but, like, the comedy version. 580 00:24:11,624 --> 00:24:13,539 Show us your dick, Lil Dicky! 581 00:24:28,815 --> 00:24:30,512 Oh... 582 00:24:30,556 --> 00:24:32,122 Connor? 583 00:24:33,384 --> 00:24:34,516 Who's that? 584 00:24:36,692 --> 00:24:39,042 Yo, they're all in there. They're still chillin'. 585 00:24:40,566 --> 00:24:42,524 -♪ Sober up♪ -Was that Lil Dicky? 586 00:24:42,568 --> 00:24:45,745 -Come back, Dicky! -♪ Settle down♪ 587 00:24:45,788 --> 00:24:47,747 ♪ You should be...♪ 588 00:24:47,790 --> 00:24:49,052 Lil Dicky! 589 00:24:49,096 --> 00:24:52,316 ♪ Gone by now♪ 590 00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,580 ♪ But you're not♪ 591 00:24:54,623 --> 00:24:57,713 ♪ Don't know how I got♪ 592 00:24:57,757 --> 00:24:59,889 ♪ So damn lucky.♪ 593 00:25:07,984 --> 00:25:11,074 ♪ I'm drunk♪ 594 00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:13,163 ♪ I'm really, really drunk...♪ 595 00:25:14,774 --> 00:25:16,123 -♪ I'm drunk♪ -Hey, it's him! 596 00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:18,473 Turn around! 597 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:19,909 -It's him, it's him! -It's him, it's him! 598 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:40,495 Hey, motherfucker. What the fuck are you thinking, boy? 599 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:43,150 Whoa! Hey! Stand your ground! Stand your ground! 600 00:25:43,193 --> 00:25:45,674 -What? -I'm standing my ground! 601 00:25:45,718 --> 00:25:48,808 You stand your ground, I'm standing mine, so no reason! 602 00:25:49,939 --> 00:25:52,202 -That ain't how it works. -Uh... 603 00:25:52,246 --> 00:25:53,639 Lil Dicky! I'm Lil Dicky! 604 00:25:53,682 --> 00:25:54,901 Please don't, please just... 605 00:25:54,944 --> 00:25:56,598 -Lil Dicky? -Yeah. 606 00:25:56,642 --> 00:25:58,165 -The rapper? -Yeah! Yes! 607 00:25:58,208 --> 00:26:01,734 The rapper. That's me. I'm, uh, I'm here. 608 00:26:01,777 --> 00:26:04,693 -So, I got to use your phone, it's... -No, you ain't. 609 00:26:04,737 --> 00:26:07,348 Yes, I am. What do you mean I'm not? Of co... Uh, uh... 610 00:26:07,391 --> 00:26:10,438 Obviously this is... Look at the situation, man. 611 00:26:10,481 --> 00:26:12,135 Can't you tell by my posture? 612 00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:14,398 Prove it. 613 00:26:14,442 --> 00:26:18,577 Prove it. Uh... 614 00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:21,536 What's that? 615 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:23,407 Like... Or... 616 00:26:23,451 --> 00:26:27,150 It's... You-you know it's me. 617 00:26:27,194 --> 00:26:30,066 Please, I got to use your phone, man. 618 00:26:30,110 --> 00:26:32,547 Aren't you a "gayman?" 619 00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,418 You... 620 00:26:34,462 --> 00:26:35,985 I couldn't hear what you said. 621 00:26:36,029 --> 00:26:38,640 Aren't you a "gayman?" 622 00:26:40,686 --> 00:26:43,036 Like the dinosaur lizard? 623 00:26:43,079 --> 00:26:45,604 Nah, like aren't you a faggot? 624 00:26:45,647 --> 00:26:49,390 Oh. I don't know exactly how you're using that word, 625 00:26:49,433 --> 00:26:51,653 but I suspect that depending on how you define it, 626 00:26:51,697 --> 00:26:54,613 that, like... 627 00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:58,051 like, to an extent, yeah, yes. 628 00:26:58,094 --> 00:27:00,923 Tom, what's going on out there? 629 00:27:00,967 --> 00:27:03,404 I'll be there in a minute, Pat. 630 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,450 Hey! 631 00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:25,208 Hello? 632 00:27:25,252 --> 00:27:27,471 Mike. Oh, thank God you picked up. 633 00:27:27,515 --> 00:27:29,125 I need you to come grab me right now. 634 00:27:29,169 --> 00:27:30,953 -You're in room 207. -No, no. 635 00:27:30,997 --> 00:27:33,303 -I'm not at the hotel. Uh... -Where are you? 636 00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:34,740 Thank you so much for everything. I appreciate it. 637 00:27:34,783 --> 00:27:36,045 -Hello? -I don't know 638 00:27:36,089 --> 00:27:37,307 how to explain it to you, but you just 639 00:27:37,351 --> 00:27:39,309 got to come get me right now, okay? 640 00:27:39,353 --> 00:27:40,789 Are you all right? Where are you, man? 641 00:27:40,833 --> 00:27:43,313 I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm at, uh, 642 00:27:43,357 --> 00:27:47,013 4218 Fannin Boulevard. Okay? 643 00:27:47,056 --> 00:27:48,667 Yeah, no problem, man. I'll be there soon. 644 00:27:48,710 --> 00:27:50,320 -Thank you, Mike. Thank you. -Just got to get up 645 00:27:50,364 --> 00:27:52,583 and get dressed. 646 00:27:52,627 --> 00:27:55,021 You know, I'm always losing one sock. 647 00:27:55,064 --> 00:27:56,718 -Wha... Mike? -Yeah? 648 00:27:59,242 --> 00:28:02,158 Uh, bring a couple hundred bucks. 649 00:28:02,202 --> 00:28:04,726 You'll see, like, when the dick's fully blooded, 650 00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:06,336 there's, like, a little bit of a bend. 651 00:28:06,380 --> 00:28:08,599 My ideal way for this to happen is if you take that bend 652 00:28:08,643 --> 00:28:09,775 and you just simply straighten it. 653 00:28:12,821 --> 00:28:15,258 Uh, the bend, and if you just take the bend 654 00:28:15,302 --> 00:28:18,871 and you straighten and then just wait. 655 00:28:19,959 --> 00:28:21,134 No, no, no, no mueva. 656 00:28:22,526 --> 00:28:25,704 Yeah, uh, do you know what a manatee is? Manatee. 657 00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:27,053 Manatee, the sea. Sea. 658 00:28:28,228 --> 00:28:30,012 Manatee? 659 00:28:31,579 --> 00:28:34,234 I am an animal. I am. We're all a... 660 00:28:34,277 --> 00:28:35,670 I am an animal. You know what? 661 00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,280 -No... -We-we don't-we don't even have to... 662 00:28:37,324 --> 00:28:39,239 -We don't have to do it. -No. No, no, no, no, no. 663 00:28:39,282 --> 00:28:41,720 I'm okay. Okay. 664 00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:42,721 It's totally cool. 665 00:28:42,764 --> 00:28:45,767 Oh, so... Oh. 666 00:28:45,811 --> 00:28:48,727 Yeah. Just s-still. 667 00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:51,077 Uh-huh. 668 00:30:02,104 --> 00:30:03,714 Welcome to the Looking For Love Tour! 669 00:30:03,758 --> 00:30:06,543 I've had so many insane sexual encounters. 670 00:30:06,587 --> 00:30:08,894 Truthfully, I'm looking for my wife. 671 00:30:10,634 --> 00:30:13,202 You're with him every day? How do you resist him? 672 00:30:14,682 --> 00:30:16,684 Are you serious? Because I'm with him every day. 673 00:30:16,727 --> 00:30:19,295 I'm so happy that I get to see America for what it is. 674 00:30:19,339 --> 00:30:21,602 Y'all find everything okay?Yeah. 675 00:30:21,645 --> 00:30:25,562 USA. USA. 676 00:30:25,606 --> 00:30:30,611 FX'sDave, all new Wednesdays at 10:00 on FXX. 677 00:30:32,613 --> 00:30:33,744 At some point, 678 00:30:33,788 --> 00:30:35,094 the game becomes your life. 679 00:30:36,530 --> 00:30:38,924 It blinds you to everything else. 680 00:30:40,751 --> 00:30:42,753 It consumes you. 681 00:30:42,797 --> 00:30:45,495 You can't just turn it off. 682 00:30:45,539 --> 00:30:47,846 But in the end, you get what you deserve... 683 00:30:50,152 --> 00:30:51,632 ...or deserve what you get. 684 00:30:56,289 --> 00:30:58,421 FX'sSnowfall, the final season 685 00:30:58,465 --> 00:31:01,294 all new Wednesdays at 10:00 on FX. 686 00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:06,125 ♪ You can run 687 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,394 ♪ For a long time 688 00:31:16,526 --> 00:31:20,269 ♪ Sooner or later God will cut you down♪ 689 00:31:24,795 --> 00:31:26,754 FX'sMayans, 690 00:31:26,797 --> 00:31:30,192 the final season premieres May 24th on FX. 691 00:31:31,977 --> 00:31:33,326 It feels really good to be back in the... 692 00:31:34,457 --> 00:31:36,895 Is he dead?NANDOR: I'm okay! 693 00:31:37,808 --> 00:31:38,722 I can mold this boy 694 00:31:40,681 --> 00:31:41,551 into the most interesting adult there has ever been. 695 00:31:42,204 --> 00:31:43,989 He really loves musical theater. 696 00:31:44,032 --> 00:31:46,165 What have the Dark Lord wrought? 697 00:31:47,949 --> 00:31:50,256 This is the big opening of our nightclub. 698 00:31:50,299 --> 00:31:51,344 Cheers! 699 00:31:51,387 --> 00:31:52,954 Release the blood sprinklers! 700 00:31:56,523 --> 00:32:00,179 FX's What We Do in the Shadows now streaming. 52623

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