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1
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:03,786
Have you been
drinking today,
ma'am?
2
00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:05,396
Of course not.
3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:06,789
If it were a vodka,
would I do this?
4
00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:08,008
Oh...
5
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:14,710
FX'sAtlanta,
the final season
now streaming.
6
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:32,945
♪ Hey, good morning, baby♪
7
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:35,818
♪ You need some java, baby?♪
8
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:39,082
♪ We got to wake up, baby♪
9
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,954
♪ Last night was really crazy♪
10
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,000
♪ I think I liked it, baby♪
11
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,958
♪ Damn, you smooth, baby♪
12
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:49,484
♪ Looking like
you moisturize, baby♪
13
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:52,095
♪ Tell me where
to buy it, baby♪
14
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,444
♪ I'm dry,
I need the product, baby♪
15
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:56,534
♪ Got my hand on navel♪
16
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:59,537
♪ Then she slid
her panties to the ankle♪
17
00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,713
♪ Made me back up
and look at the bussy♪
18
00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,063
♪ Bussy glistening
like a heavyweight♪
19
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:07,371
♪ You want to fuck me, baby?♪
20
00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:09,069
♪ Haven't showered
in a minute, girl♪
21
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:11,593
♪ But if you with it,
then I'm with it, baby♪
22
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:14,161
♪ I will shower you
with every curl♪
23
00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,598
♪ Are you freaky, baby?♪
24
00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:18,817
♪ Spooning me
like I was soup♪
25
00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:21,559
♪ Want me to be dirty
like a goose?♪
26
00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:24,736
♪ Ooh, but what do you like,
baby?♪
27
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:27,522
♪ Do you want me
to choke you, baby?♪
28
00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:29,567
♪ She said,
"That's okay, baby"♪
29
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,613
♪ "That's okay"
as in you want that?♪
30
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,964
♪ Or "That's okay"
as in "No, thanks, baby"?♪
31
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:37,358
♪ She look at me crazy♪
32
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,229
♪ I said, I don't mean
to complicate it, no, no♪
33
00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:41,579
♪ Let me grab a condom, baby♪
34
00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:44,147
♪ I put it on,
then she, then she♪
35
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,671
♪ Throws it back,
give me the ass, pop it♪
36
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:49,457
♪ Tickle the breast,
nibble the crack, stop it♪
37
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,372
♪ General Custer,
with the tactics, I'm a demon ♪
38
00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:54,940
♪ I could feel the semen
creeping 'round the penis♪
39
00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,942
♪ Being a man in there♪
40
00:01:56,986 --> 00:02:00,076
♪ We need a ambulance,
pussy getting killed♪
41
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,992
♪ She orgasming,
body spasming♪
42
00:02:03,035 --> 00:02:07,170
♪ Then I finally finish,
can you feel it, baby?♪
43
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:08,780
♪ Sliding off,
where's the condom?♪
44
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,870
♪ Whoa! Well, it's not
on my penis, baby♪
45
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:14,525
♪ It's so confusing, baby♪
46
00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,919
♪ Uh, did I-did I just
fuck you raw, baby?♪
47
00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:18,616
♪ Uh, I'm looking round
and I don't see it, baby♪
48
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,227
♪ I move the blanket,
move the covers ♪
49
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,098
♪ Where's the rubber, baby?♪
50
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,492
♪ Now she's digging like
a caveman in her bussy for it ♪
51
00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:27,016
♪ Even if you find it in there,
what's the difference, baby?♪
52
00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:29,497
♪ Semen probably already leaking
in there, swimming in you♪
53
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:30,715
♪ She says she still
don't want no condoms♪
54
00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:31,890
♪ Sitting in her insides♪
55
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,414
♪ I said I understand♪
56
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,589
♪ But there are
bigger fish to fry♪
57
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,156
♪ She said, "You blaming me"♪
58
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,027
♪ "But you're the one
who put it on"♪
59
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,029
♪ I am not blaming you, and I
don't think I put it on wrong ♪
60
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:42,118
♪ I put it on my pinky first
to see which way it go♪
61
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,729
♪ Because I'm well aware that
condoms aren't reversible♪
62
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:46,035
♪ She screamed,
"I found it, baby!"♪
63
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,167
♪ She pulled it out her bussy♪
64
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,342
♪ But I can't celebrate it♪
65
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,647
♪ 'Cause we got bigger fishy♪
66
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:50,909
♪ Girl, I ejaculated ♪
67
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,215
♪ And I don't see it in there♪
68
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,912
♪ She said it's fine ♪
69
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,610
♪ She'll just take
the morning-after pill♪
70
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,873
♪ Oh, oh♪
71
00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,614
♪ Thank God for the tech now♪
72
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:02,530
♪ We should probably
go and get it now♪
73
00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:05,881
♪ This is life
when you're young and wild.♪
74
00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,188
Don't worry, it'll be fine.
75
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:11,669
Okay. Let's lie down
after all that.
76
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,671
Ah. Take the load off.
77
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:16,283
Get in here.
78
00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:18,198
Oh.
79
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,157
-Wow.
-Okay.
80
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,985
I fucked Lil Dicky.
81
00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,878
I promise you, bro.
You cannot get a STD
82
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:49,011
going in the pussy raw
for only ten seconds.
83
00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,447
Who says it was ten seconds?
84
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,319
It could've been ten,
it could've been 48.
85
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,321
I have no idea.
I fucked the condom off my dick
86
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:55,931
trying to give her this, like,
rock star style sex
87
00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,541
that I assume
she wants out of me.
88
00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:58,890
You area rock star.
This your first tour.
89
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,414
You're supposed to go hard.
90
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,024
That's the whole issue,
in my opinion.
91
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,374
I feel like all of these girls
just want to fuck Lil Dicky.
92
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:07,029
Is it really a crime
to want someone who wants
93
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,987
to fall in love with...
94
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,598
-the real Dave?
-Bro, you got to think
about her needs.
95
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,252
She got her nails done,
she got her outfit.
96
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,731
She told all her friends.
97
00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,211
It's gonna be the highlight
of her year.
98
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,082
You got to beat
the pussy up, bro.
99
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,259
But I don't even...
I don't fuck like this.
100
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,477
That's not how I fuck,
Gata, okay?
101
00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:23,306
I-I do this. It's more...
It's rhythmic.
102
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,090
Man, that shit look
complicated, man.
103
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,484
Complicated? It's so simple.
It's missionary.
104
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,579
Hi.
105
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,323
You're just gonna
bust those open, bruh?
106
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,759
-You ain't gonna
pay for them first?
-I'm gonna pay for 'em.
107
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:44,153
Just chill out.
108
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:55,817
Y'all find everything okay?
109
00:04:57,079 --> 00:05:00,256
Yeah.
Oh.
110
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,127
I'm sorry.
111
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:06,044
You guys have condoms here?
112
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,524
It's the same condoms
everywhere.
113
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,178
Why don't they make, like,
114
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,571
smaller condoms
for the smaller dicks?
115
00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:13,661
Like, they make Magnums
for, like, big-dicked men.
116
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,184
I feel like the condom
would stay on the dick easier
117
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,403
if it was smaller sometimes.
118
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:17,882
If you're that concerned
about STDs,
119
00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:19,884
why don't you just use
the Scroguard, bro,
120
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,408
that Mike got you--
that plastic diaper shit?
121
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,845
Uh, that's private business.
Don't talk about it.
122
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:26,456
I don't know what he's talking
about, but he's not dangerous.
123
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:30,025
-You crazy, man.
-They know I'm joking.
124
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:32,114
Man, they got the
Confederate flag in there, bro.
125
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,594
It's the Texas flag.
126
00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,292
Looked pretty Confederate
to me, man. Hey, Cliff.
127
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,902
I got the goods.
128
00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,208
-Ooh.
-Pistachios, but I can't...
129
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:41,297
-For you.
-Merci.
130
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,386
-They break my teeth, man.
-For you.
-Thank you.
131
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,475
-You want to smoke this?
-All right, man. It's hot.
132
00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,477
Uh, I'll take a hit, I guess.
133
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,699
You just wet my fucking blunt.
You're fucking nasty.
134
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,048
I'm gonna get some color.
135
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:54,571
Racist.
136
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,356
No disrespect.
137
00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:17,681
Trying to burn off the bacteria?
138
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:20,162
I'm just not built for this.
139
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,643
I can't be, like,
the rapper who goes around
140
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:25,385
and fucks every night.
That's not my thing.
141
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,430
But I'm trying
to rewire my brain
142
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:28,866
so I can actually
have fun for once.
143
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,433
You've been stressed.
You've been working so hard.
144
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,435
I know. And tour is just
the one time in life
145
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:35,046
-where there's no album
to hand in.
-Yup.
146
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,048
There's no songs to make.
I can just be free
147
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,702
-and live life to the F.
-Yup.
148
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:41,052
It's exactly like the time
I was up in the air. It was one
149
00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:43,315
-of those moments...
-This has nothing
to do with skydiving.
150
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:44,316
This has everything
to do with skydiving, David.
151
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,709
-Nothing to do...
-No, when you're
152
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:46,667
hurtling toward the earth
153
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,059
at 120 miles an hour,
154
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,670
you're reaching max veloce,
it's incredible.
155
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:50,975
And the chute doesn't open,
you start to freak out,
156
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,934
but that's when you learn.
You learn, David.
157
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,023
-When the instructor kisses you
-Mm.
158
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,373
on the small of your neck,
and he says, "I'm sorry!,"
159
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,594
that's when you learn to let go.
160
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:04,206
I desperately crave
a genuine romantic connection.
161
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,948
Like, I need to fall in love.
That's just who I am.
162
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:10,125
-Well, maybe you shouldn't
hook up with your fans anymore.
-Okay.
163
00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,648
Maybe you shouldn't...
We don't need this
164
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,215
-for the documentary, okay?
-Yeah, we do.
165
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:16,218
Don't tell me what to do
with my documentary.
166
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,698
Uh, I don't
want this footage, Emma.
167
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:18,699
You don't know what
you're gonna use.
168
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:19,743
Get different stuff.
169
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:33,670
-I can't listen
to this another time.
-It's exhilarating.
170
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,367
But what I'm saying is
171
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:36,456
when you're plummeting towards
the earth at terminal velocity,
172
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:37,369
God, I get it.-the earth
173
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,936
it's gonna swallow you whole.
174
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,547
It's so scary, dude,
but you live.
175
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:43,027
I love this story. He's still
telling the story, huh?
176
00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:44,376
-Yeah.
-Hey, LD, what's them islands
177
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:45,943
we going to on this tour?
178
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,771
Uh, I don't know
the specifics, but...
179
00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:50,165
We going
to the Specifics, y'all.
180
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,819
-Specifics.
-Huh. Um...
181
00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:53,690
-Are you performing tonight?
-Oh, no.
182
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,736
Tonight's all about
my sweet baby G right here.
183
00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:57,999
-Gata's night, baby.
-Big dog's night.
-Hey, Lubbock, Texas
184
00:07:58,042 --> 00:07:59,653
-ain't ready
for a nigga like me.
-They're not.
185
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,219
They never were. They never
were a day. They never will be.
186
00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:03,134
-That's what I do.
-Uh, that's what
you've been doing.
187
00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:05,963
-Big G!
-Gata.
188
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,661
Aw, LD, do one song
with me, bro.
189
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,924
No, thank you.
190
00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:12,317
It's my one night off.
Come on. I-I'm trying
191
00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,754
-to blend into the background,
be a normal guy.
-Yeah.
192
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:14,929
It's hard to meet your wife
when you're onstage
193
00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,757
-being the star.
-Well, some people say
194
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,149
-that's the easiest way
to meet your wife.
-Aw.
195
00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:20,412
You're with him every day?
How do you resist him?
196
00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:22,980
-Are you serious?
-Look,
197
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:24,504
I just want to know
if everyone's all in
198
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,027
to have the best night
they can possibly have.
199
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,550
'Cause I need that type
of comradery...
200
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,469
♪ Too many women,
I got too many women♪
201
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,298
♪ Man, my biggest problem,
I got too many women♪
202
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:39,214
♪ Damn, my head's spinning,
I got too many women♪
203
00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:41,259
♪ Am I living in sin
and I see too many women♪
204
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:44,698
♪ I'm married to the money,
but I'm in love with my women ♪
205
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,439
♪ Dark-skinned, light-skinned,
Puerto Rican, Asian♪
206
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,920
♪ Sorry, Mama,
but your son is crazy♪
207
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:52,314
♪ I'm-a get it together
if they pay me.♪
208
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:55,012
Yeah.
209
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,884
Yeah!
210
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,147
Dicky! Dicky!
211
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:03,151
-Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! Dicky!
-Oh, no, no, no. Gata.
212
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:06,110
-Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! Dicky!
-Gata. Gata.
213
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:08,243
-Dicky. Dicky.
-Thanks.
214
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,940
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
215
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:12,203
I appreciate the love y'all got
for my boy Dicky, man.
216
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,728
I've been trying to get him
out here on this stage tonight,
217
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:17,034
but he on some
Carmen Sandiegotype shit.
218
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,167
Let's see if we can get him
on stage right now!
219
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,780
GATA::
LD! LD! LD!
220
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:26,087
ALL:
LD! LD!
221
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:30,221
LD! LD! LD! LD!
222
00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,970
♪ I'm drunk, I'm drunk♪
223
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:44,409
♪ I'm really, really drunk♪
224
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,934
♪ I'm drunk♪
225
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,980
♪ I'm really, really wasted♪
226
00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,679
♪ Man, I'm so fucked-up♪
227
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:55,725
♪ I might suck a man's dick,
no, I'm playing, ha-ha.♪
228
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,034
Want to take a shot?
229
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:04,342
What's your deal right now?
Why are you so lethargic?
230
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,391
You just got sucked.
231
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:12,046
Sloppy toppy, bro.
232
00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,743
Who sucked you?
233
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,353
-I had to, man. You...
-Where?
234
00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:19,749
What does this...
Whatever, I don't care.
235
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,751
Let's have fun tonight.
Do you want a drink?
236
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:24,972
Honestly, bro,
I'm exhausted as fuck, bro.
237
00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:26,756
-I'm about to go lay down, dawg.
-You're leaving?
238
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,019
-Yeah, man. Yeah.
-What about my night off?
239
00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:30,934
What about the plan
that-that you committed to?
240
00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:33,067
-Man, I'm going, gone.
-Gata.
241
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,808
-You never honor the plan, man.
-Hey, text me
242
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,157
when you get to the hotel.
243
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,818
-Hi.
-Hi.
244
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,776
-Is this a good time?
-Yeah.
245
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:49,126
Great, 'cause
I made something for you.
246
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:50,954
-Oh, okay.
-Um...
247
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,652
Oh, my God.
248
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,175
It's you.
249
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:55,785
-Oh, that's me?
-Yeah.
250
00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:57,787
Oh, wow. It's so heavy.
251
00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,571
It's concrete, that's why.
252
00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,182
It's, like, sharp, too.
253
00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:02,792
-I'm kind of nervous.
-Don't be nervous.
254
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,054
This is great.
You're doing great.
255
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:06,274
-Hey. Oh.
-Oh.
256
00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:09,016
I appreciate this so much, okay?
257
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,844
I'm such a big fan of yours.
258
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,846
-Thank you.
-Um, I love Penithso much,
259
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,543
and I'm really trying to break
into the industry, so...
260
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,197
-Yeah.
-Ah, here I am.
261
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,242
Well, let me tell you firsthand,
262
00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:21,158
things are surprisingly possible
in life, okay? Go for it.
263
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:22,682
Wow.
264
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,161
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
265
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:25,946
-Sure.
-Lil Dicky, I love you.
266
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:27,599
I love you, too, okay?
Be safe.
267
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:40,787
-I never knew that.
-Yeah. All right.
268
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,142
Fuck.
Oh, shit.
269
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,887
You doing all right?
270
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,366
What?
271
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:58,369
Are you doing all right?
272
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,373
Oh. Yeah.
273
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:06,421
Just a little statutory,
uh, issue I'm taking care of.
274
00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,945
Yeah, I'm just cleaning up
somebody else's mess.
275
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,555
-Hi.
-Hi.
276
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,209
-How you doing?
-I'm good. I'm sor...
277
00:12:12,253 --> 00:12:13,994
I don't-I don't know you.
278
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,909
Well, how could you?
We're just now meeting.
279
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,911
No, I know, but I know you're,
like, a singer or something,
280
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,521
-just here with
my friends, but I just...
-Oh.
281
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:20,696
I've never heard of you.
282
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,743
Honestly, I prefer that.
283
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,309
Like, great. It's good
284
00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:27,703
that you have a clean slate
on my personality.
285
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,836
-Oh.
-Yeah, I'm a-I'm a rapper,
actually, not a singer.
286
00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:32,534
I do sing,
song-write, all that.
287
00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:35,015
Oh, you did that song
about being drunk.
288
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:36,712
What was... what was it called?
289
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,627
-It was...
-"I'm Drunk."
290
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,411
Oh, yeah, well, I'm on my way.
291
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,283
You... pig.
292
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:46,722
I don't know.
So, what's your deal--
293
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,724
you just go to live music venues
294
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,292
without even knowing who
the person is and you have fun?
295
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:54,512
Wednesdays are like my Fridays.
I'm a nurse, so...
296
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,514
-Ah. A nurse?
-Yeah. Had to
297
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,647
come blow off some steam,
you know?
298
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,127
I appreciate everything
you do, uh,
299
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,738
behind the scenes
for all the sick.
300
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,219
-Thank-thank you.
-Yeah. But okay,
301
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,264
I can't go any further
without knowing your name,
302
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,831
-so...
-Oh, it's Campbell.
303
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,354
Campbell?
304
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:11,529
Yeah, like the soup.
305
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,357
It's a perfect name.
306
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,011
-Thanks?
-Campbell,
307
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:17,013
can I ask you a relatively
hard-hitting question?
308
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:18,449
Yeah.
309
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:19,755
What's your availability
310
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,583
as far as being
hit on right now?
311
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:24,412
Uh...
312
00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:26,109
Like, would you say you're
open-minded, or not at all?
313
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:28,372
Uh...
314
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:31,593
Yeah, I think I, uh... I'm...
315
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,813
I'm definitely open to it.
316
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,990
This is fun.
317
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,557
People are actually crazy.
318
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,733
They were literally
pouring tequila in their eyes.
319
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:45,825
Like, why? I wish I had, like,
40 cameras. I keep missing shit.
320
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,218
Just ask them to redo it.
321
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,525
I can't do that for my doc.
It's not real.
322
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:54,137
Real? None of this is real,
Emma. Are you crazy?
323
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:56,400
-What...
-We're on tour right now.
Tour's not real.
324
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:58,925
When we come to town, it's like
their version of the Super Bowl.
325
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:01,623
Okay, Mr. Big Shot
Who's Been On Tour.
326
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,277
Do you not understand
that white people act out
327
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,800
when they see a camera?
328
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,107
-What?
-Trust me. Come on.
329
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:11,198
-Wait...
-White boy summer!
330
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,591
-White boy summer!
-White boy summer!
331
00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:17,944
Then I'm gonna continue
to smoke this joint, then.
332
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,423
-All right.
-Oh, hi, man.
333
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:21,295
MAN:
LD!
334
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:23,166
Thank you.
335
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,907
Does that get annoying?
336
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,040
It's just praise. It's...
All it is is praise.
337
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:29,999
-Okay.
-But it's the life I chose.
338
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,958
-Yeah.
-I always wanted
to be ubiquitous.
339
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:36,788
Well, uh... good luck,
and you have a new fan,
340
00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:38,747
and I really hope
that you make it.
341
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,575
Get this out of here.
342
00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,055
You're saying goodbye?
343
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:43,708
-Well...
-You're not about to leave.
344
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:45,754
-Uh...
-You can't be. You're not gonna
345
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:47,103
let something like this
totally evaporate.
346
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,975
No. No, no, no.
I'm engaged.
347
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,933
-Oh, of course you are.
-No, no, no.
348
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,543
No, no, no!
No, no, like...
349
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:55,546
Like, I'm engaged
in the conversation.
350
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,592
-Oh.
-Yeah.
351
00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:59,028
So, a bunch of us are gonna
go to my friend Connor's.
352
00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:00,421
He's having
a little get-together.
353
00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,205
-Oh.
-You want to come?
354
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,207
'Cause I like
hanging out with you.
355
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:06,775
I like hanging out
with you so much.
356
00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:09,691
-All right.
-I do have a tour bus
357
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:12,128
-parked half a block away.
It's so charming.
-Oh, no.
358
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:15,218
I'm-I'm not, like, a groupie.
I'm just a regular girl.
359
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:18,352
Of course you are.
I respect that.
360
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,310
-We'll go to... Connor's?
-Yeah, Connor.
361
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,877
Okay. I have to grab something
off that bus.
362
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,792
-Will you stay here?
-Yeah.
363
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,359
Okay, because, in my opinion,
I feel as though
364
00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,622
this is what life is all about--
moments like this.
365
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,104
We'll figure something out
later, but yeah.
366
00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:32,975
-We'll figure it out.
We'll work on it.
-Okay. All right.
367
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:36,370
You're getting ready
to have a blast,
368
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:39,416
but you're not sure
about someone's sexual past.
369
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:43,855
Part of the skin of
your genital area has a cover,
370
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:46,554
but most is still exposed
to your lover.
371
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:48,425
Not anymore.
372
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:52,560
Now there's Scroguard.
373
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:57,217
The powerful new product that
you can wear with any condom.
374
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,741
The secret is
the high-quality premium latex
375
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:02,222
that is thick enough
to cover your genital area
376
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:05,007
but thin enough
to feel like a second skin.
377
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:06,966
Just fasten any two buttons
378
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,968
securely into place,
and when you're ready...
379
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,666
Hey, Dave...
Oh, shit!
380
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:14,625
-Oh!
-Geez. Uh...
No shitting on the bus!
381
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,192
No, I'm not-I'm not shitting!
382
00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:18,238
I'm just fixing my pants.
383
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:21,067
I changed my underwear
'cause I met a girl
384
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,982
and I was talking to her,
and I-I, like,
385
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,766
soaked my first underwear
with pre-cum.
386
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,421
-Okay.
-I-I met a girl.
387
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:30,032
Uh, congratulations, man.
I'm happy for you.
388
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,991
-Wish me luck.
-You deserve love, Dave.
389
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,951
-♪ Worry about tomorrow
tomorrow♪
-♪ Don't drink and drive♪
390
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,474
♪ Give me that pizza, dawg,
give me that pizza♪
391
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,041
♪ You know, I gotta eat ya♪
392
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,000
♪ Uber says
my driver's name is Gangi♪
393
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,132
♪ And he said
he's hard of hearing♪
394
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:45,178
-♪ Cool, I don't care...♪
-Sorry.
395
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,484
-No, this is honestly
my fault, uh...
-Anyway, anyway, okay.
396
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,834
-It was like 3:00 a.m.,
and we're all, like
-Yeah.
397
00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:51,662
-Sure.
-drunk as piss,
and all of a sudden, we hear,
398
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,360
like a "bang, bang, bang." Like,
Jurassic Parkor something.
399
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,449
-It was like...
-Oh, my God. What was it--
like, a rapist?
400
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,146
No, no.
It was actually my goat.
401
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:58,974
My goat got out of its pen.
It was, like, ramming its horns
402
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,324
-against the glass. Ramming...
-Wait, hold it. You have a goat?
403
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:02,717
-Like, you're a goat owner?
-Mm-hmm.
404
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,327
Yeah, I got a bunch of goats.
405
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,764
You're, like, out of a fable.
406
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,940
Hey, you're the fucking GOAT,
LD. Come on.
407
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:11,378
-Hey, y'all, shut the fuck up!
-Thank you, bro.
408
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,423
Sorry.
Don't even look at that.
409
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,425
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-He's fine. Oh.
410
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,123
Get in here.
411
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,820
Wow, you just broke
the touch barrier.
412
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,517
So nonchalantly,
413
00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,302
you're just gonna break it
like that, and not even... Wow.
414
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:24,869
-I mean, someone had to.
-I'm totally on board
with it, FYI.
415
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:27,437
-Um...
-Oh, my God.
416
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,007
I have to pee.
417
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,096
Yeah.
I understand that.
418
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,490
I've had to pee in the past, and
you never know when it's coming.
419
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,753
-Thank you. All right.
-Yeah. I'm right there with you.
420
00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:40,059
-Get all the piss out.
-All right.
421
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,321
-I'll be right here. I'm great.
-Okay.
422
00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:42,626
I'm in heaven.
423
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:52,375
What's up, man?
424
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:55,639
Hey. You guys hanging?
425
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:56,814
-How you doing?
-Good.
426
00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:59,469
Hey, man, so...
427
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,430
What?
428
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,521
You like Ram?
429
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:10,350
R-Ram?
Uh, do I like what?
430
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,308
-Uh...
-What do you mean? Like the...
431
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,745
-Like the processing power?
-It's...
432
00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,007
the L.A. Rams.
Like, Los Angeles Rams.
433
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:18,488
-Like, uh, football team.
-Oh, shit.
434
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,664
Is he okay, or is he on,
like, Oxys or something?
435
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:23,406
-No, no. I mean...
-Is this Appalachia
that we're in?
436
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,800
'Cause I know all about the
opioid crisis that you probably
437
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:26,975
have to deal
with at every moment.
438
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,585
I've got molly,
if you want some.
439
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:31,762
Oh. No, thanks.
440
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:34,722
It's, like, dark purple.
441
00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:36,680
I'm okay.
442
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:39,030
I don't even understand the
color spectrum of molly, but...
443
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:42,251
-What's your name?
We haven't met.
-Grace.
444
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:46,212
-You... Race?
-Hey, are you hiring,
by the way, LD?
445
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:49,737
-No.
-Um, I majored
in-in golf course management.
446
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:51,782
-Uh-huh.
-Um, but there's a lot
447
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:54,002
-of crossover between the two.
-Yeah, I think
448
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,047
you're better off on the greens
there, 'cause, like,
449
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:59,138
-we're just so fully staffed.
-No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
450
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,704
Yeah.
451
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:03,185
Um, normally,
452
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,882
like, shit's like way
more popping, you know? Like...
453
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,232
-No.
-It's pretty low-key,
'cause it's Wednesday night
454
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,495
-and shit, and, like...
-All good. All G.
455
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,192
But, yo, like, normally,
we're playing, like,
456
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,760
Mancala or, like,
Cards Against Humanity,
457
00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:14,631
-or, like, fucking...
-Sure.
458
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,981
-If you came back, like, on a...
-Yeah.
459
00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:19,332
No, don't... No presh, man.
I'm, like, just happy to be...
460
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:22,073
I'm honestly here
'cause of Campbell.
461
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:23,727
-Bro.
-Yeah.
462
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:26,861
I heard
her pussy's a straight-up V.
463
00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:30,952
I... Yeah, I believe you. Um...
464
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:33,650
Hey, you know what? Fuck it.
Hey, Hey, Travis!
465
00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:36,044
Hey, fire that shit up!
We're playing Hot Seat, bitch.
466
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:37,567
What are we doing?
467
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,311
It's a prank phone call-
based game?
468
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,139
-Mm-hmm. Shh.
-How often do you play it?
469
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,532
All right. All right.
470
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:50,928
-Hello?
-Hey.
471
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:53,888
I'm... I'm with your brother.
472
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:56,891
Wait, Tim's with you?
He okay?
473
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:59,241
-He's OD'ing.
-Oh, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck!
474
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:00,938
Did you call 911?
475
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:03,637
Yeah, but they can't...
476
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,857
-Come on.
-revive... Aah!
477
00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:08,598
It's the hot seat! Fuck!
478
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:09,947
Okay, I'm gonna
get another drink.
479
00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:11,601
Where you going?
480
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:13,864
-I'm getting another drink.
-Hurry back.
-Hey, LD.
481
00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:16,084
Wait. You probably got all sorts
482
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:17,477
of celebs and shit
in your phone.
483
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,043
Wait. I...
484
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,262
Come on.
485
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,743
Alfonso Ribeiro?
486
00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,310
That a pasta?
487
00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:26,964
Carlton? That doesn't mean
anything when I say it? Carlton?
488
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,010
All right, all right, all right.
LD, come on. It's your turn.
489
00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:30,620
-Oh, no. I'm...
-Come on. Get on that hot seat,
490
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:31,621
-for old times' sake.
-You...
491
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:32,796
Let me watch how you...
492
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,145
-Fuck you.
-What are you doing?
493
00:20:34,189 --> 00:20:36,060
-Wow. What?
-Okay.
494
00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:39,063
So you're really not
gonna kiss me right now?
495
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:43,198
Why-why would you think that?
It's crazy of you.
496
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,330
Campbell, would you
come out here?
497
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,723
Your friends are getting
a little dicey.
498
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,464
-Oh.
-Need you back here.
499
00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:50,727
Fuck. She blew it.
500
00:20:50,771 --> 00:20:53,774
-What do you mean?
-I mean, fucking passed out.
501
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,602
-No, she's not.
-Yeah.
502
00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:00,911
I'm drunk.
503
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:03,740
-She's drunk.
-Guns up!
504
00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:07,701
-Guns up!
-Guns up, motherfuckers!
505
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:10,312
Aw, that sucks. Her mission
was to fuck you tonight.
506
00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,881
Wait, what do you mean,
you said it was her mission?
507
00:21:13,924 --> 00:21:16,753
-Like, going into the night?
-Yeah.
508
00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,755
Then why did she tell me
when I met her
509
00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,714
that she had never heard
of Lil Dicky?
510
00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:22,759
Oh, is that what she told you?
511
00:21:22,803 --> 00:21:24,108
She probably just said that
512
00:21:24,152 --> 00:21:26,023
'cause she's watched
all your interviews.
513
00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:27,721
She knows that's
what you want to hear.
514
00:21:27,764 --> 00:21:31,638
She's a die-hard. I mean,
she knew what to tell you.
515
00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:34,641
Okay.
I'm-I'm gonna leave.
516
00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:37,208
No, no, no, no, no.
No, come on, man. No, no, no.
517
00:21:37,252 --> 00:21:38,645
-Yeah.
-LD, no. There's a bunch
of people still coming.
518
00:21:38,688 --> 00:21:40,777
This shit's just
getting started.
519
00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:42,562
-Come on.
-It's so late.
We leave tomorrow.
520
00:21:42,605 --> 00:21:45,347
This is literally the best night
of my entire life, man.
521
00:21:45,391 --> 00:21:48,263
That's... Really?
522
00:21:49,264 --> 00:21:50,657
Yes.
523
00:21:52,136 --> 00:21:54,443
Uh, I'm sorry.
524
00:21:54,487 --> 00:21:56,619
Or congrat...
525
00:21:56,663 --> 00:21:58,142
I don't know what
to say to that.
526
00:21:58,186 --> 00:22:00,144
Tell us what it's like.
527
00:22:00,188 --> 00:22:02,495
Just tell us what
it's really, really like.
528
00:22:02,538 --> 00:22:05,324
-It's not like anything, man.
-Yeah, man,
529
00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:08,065
do the girls just
fap for you, nonstop?
530
00:22:08,109 --> 00:22:10,372
Fap?
531
00:22:13,288 --> 00:22:17,901
-All right, sit down.
-Okay. All right.
532
00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:19,163
-You guys want
to know what it's like.
-Oh, fuck, yeah.
533
00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:20,426
I'll tell you
what it's really like. Yeah.
534
00:22:20,469 --> 00:22:23,167
Here's what it's like.
I go around America
535
00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:25,256
and I meet people like you,
and every single time,
536
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,780
they look at me exactly the way
537
00:22:26,823 --> 00:22:28,303
you guys are staring
at me right now.
538
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,392
It's weird. And people
have preconceived notions
539
00:22:30,436 --> 00:22:32,655
about the way that I behave,
about the way that I fuck.
540
00:22:32,699 --> 00:22:34,657
I feel that.
541
00:22:34,701 --> 00:22:37,007
Fucking ain't easy, broham.
542
00:22:37,051 --> 00:22:40,359
Not easy at all. I've had so
many insane sexual encounters.
543
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:43,187
And truthfully, the thing
that I want the most
544
00:22:43,231 --> 00:22:46,974
is incredibly simple, but
I could never really ask for it.
545
00:22:47,017 --> 00:22:48,802
What?
546
00:22:50,064 --> 00:22:53,763
So, my dick is shaped
like a manatee.
547
00:22:53,807 --> 00:22:55,069
In the sense that, like,
you know how, like,
548
00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:56,984
the manatee is...
have, like, a bend
549
00:22:57,027 --> 00:22:59,508
and, like, a...
So my dick is bent.
550
00:22:59,552 --> 00:23:02,119
The thing that
satisfies me most in life
551
00:23:02,163 --> 00:23:06,602
is when that bend
simply gets straightened.
552
00:23:06,646 --> 00:23:09,126
There's no STD threat
whatsoever.
553
00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:11,520
It's truly my heaven on Earth,
but I could never ask for that
554
00:23:11,564 --> 00:23:13,174
because it's so weird,
555
00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:14,871
and the women would
tell all their friends.
556
00:23:14,915 --> 00:23:17,657
But that wouldn't happen
with my soulmate.
557
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,572
I'm looking for love.
558
00:23:19,615 --> 00:23:21,617
I'm looking for my wife, okay?
559
00:23:21,661 --> 00:23:23,663
Hey, let us see your dick.
560
00:23:26,143 --> 00:23:29,799
No.
But you asked me what it's like.
561
00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:30,800
It's not even that interesting.
562
00:23:30,844 --> 00:23:31,801
-It's actually...
-Come on, Dicky.
563
00:23:33,542 --> 00:23:35,501
-Come on.
-Uh... I love it.
564
00:23:35,544 --> 00:23:36,763
Hey, come on, Lil Dicky.
565
00:23:36,806 --> 00:23:37,764
Come on, Lil Dicky, come on.
566
00:23:37,807 --> 00:23:38,765
Let me see it.
567
00:23:38,808 --> 00:23:39,853
You always talk all this shit
568
00:23:39,896 --> 00:23:40,984
about your dick,
569
00:23:41,028 --> 00:23:43,117
but you never
show it to anybody.
570
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,814
-Come on, Lil Dicky.
-Come on!
571
00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:47,556
-Show us your fucking dick!
-Come on!
-Come on!
572
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,123
Show us your fucking dick!
573
00:23:51,865 --> 00:23:54,084
What the fuck is that?
574
00:23:54,128 --> 00:23:56,478
A diaper?
575
00:23:56,522 --> 00:23:59,394
No, uh... It's, uh,
576
00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:01,701
it's called the Scroguard.
It's, uh...
577
00:24:01,744 --> 00:24:04,051
Look it up on YouTube. It's the
funniest thing you'll ever see.
578
00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:06,706
It's, like, STD prevention,
579
00:24:06,749 --> 00:24:08,795
but, like, the comedy version.
580
00:24:11,624 --> 00:24:13,539
Show us your dick, Lil Dicky!
581
00:24:28,815 --> 00:24:30,512
Oh...
582
00:24:30,556 --> 00:24:32,122
Connor?
583
00:24:33,384 --> 00:24:34,516
Who's that?
584
00:24:36,692 --> 00:24:39,042
Yo, they're all in there.
They're still chillin'.
585
00:24:40,566 --> 00:24:42,524
-♪ Sober up♪
-Was that Lil Dicky?
586
00:24:42,568 --> 00:24:45,745
-Come back, Dicky!
-♪ Settle down♪
587
00:24:45,788 --> 00:24:47,747
♪ You should be...♪
588
00:24:47,790 --> 00:24:49,052
Lil Dicky!
589
00:24:49,096 --> 00:24:52,316
♪ Gone by now♪
590
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,580
♪ But you're not♪
591
00:24:54,623 --> 00:24:57,713
♪ Don't know how I got♪
592
00:24:57,757 --> 00:24:59,889
♪ So damn lucky.♪
593
00:25:07,984 --> 00:25:11,074
♪ I'm drunk♪
594
00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:13,163
♪ I'm really, really drunk...♪
595
00:25:14,774 --> 00:25:16,123
-♪ I'm drunk♪
-Hey, it's him!
596
00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:18,473
Turn around!
597
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:19,909
-It's him, it's him!
-It's him, it's him!
598
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:40,495
Hey, motherfucker. What
the fuck are you thinking, boy?
599
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:43,150
Whoa! Hey! Stand your ground!
Stand your ground!
600
00:25:43,193 --> 00:25:45,674
-What?
-I'm standing my ground!
601
00:25:45,718 --> 00:25:48,808
You stand your ground, I'm
standing mine, so no reason!
602
00:25:49,939 --> 00:25:52,202
-That ain't how it works.
-Uh...
603
00:25:52,246 --> 00:25:53,639
Lil Dicky! I'm Lil Dicky!
604
00:25:53,682 --> 00:25:54,901
Please don't, please just...
605
00:25:54,944 --> 00:25:56,598
-Lil Dicky?
-Yeah.
606
00:25:56,642 --> 00:25:58,165
-The rapper?
-Yeah! Yes!
607
00:25:58,208 --> 00:26:01,734
The rapper. That's me.
I'm, uh, I'm here.
608
00:26:01,777 --> 00:26:04,693
-So, I got to use
your phone, it's...
-No, you ain't.
609
00:26:04,737 --> 00:26:07,348
Yes, I am. What do you mean
I'm not? Of co... Uh, uh...
610
00:26:07,391 --> 00:26:10,438
Obviously this is...
Look at the situation, man.
611
00:26:10,481 --> 00:26:12,135
Can't you tell by my posture?
612
00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:14,398
Prove it.
613
00:26:14,442 --> 00:26:18,577
Prove it. Uh...
614
00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:21,536
What's that?
615
00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:23,407
Like... Or...
616
00:26:23,451 --> 00:26:27,150
It's...
You-you know it's me.
617
00:26:27,194 --> 00:26:30,066
Please, I got to use
your phone, man.
618
00:26:30,110 --> 00:26:32,547
Aren't you a "gayman?"
619
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,418
You...
620
00:26:34,462 --> 00:26:35,985
I couldn't hear what you said.
621
00:26:36,029 --> 00:26:38,640
Aren't you a "gayman?"
622
00:26:40,686 --> 00:26:43,036
Like the dinosaur lizard?
623
00:26:43,079 --> 00:26:45,604
Nah, like aren't you a faggot?
624
00:26:45,647 --> 00:26:49,390
Oh. I don't know exactly
how you're using that word,
625
00:26:49,433 --> 00:26:51,653
but I suspect that depending on
how you define it,
626
00:26:51,697 --> 00:26:54,613
that, like...
627
00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:58,051
like, to an extent, yeah, yes.
628
00:26:58,094 --> 00:27:00,923
Tom, what's going on out there?
629
00:27:00,967 --> 00:27:03,404
I'll be there in a minute, Pat.
630
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,450
Hey!
631
00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:25,208
Hello?
632
00:27:25,252 --> 00:27:27,471
Mike. Oh, thank God
you picked up.
633
00:27:27,515 --> 00:27:29,125
I need you to come
grab me right now.
634
00:27:29,169 --> 00:27:30,953
-You're in room 207.
-No, no.
635
00:27:30,997 --> 00:27:33,303
-I'm not at the hotel. Uh...
-Where are you?
636
00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:34,740
Thank you so much
for everything. I appreciate it.
637
00:27:34,783 --> 00:27:36,045
-Hello?
-I don't know
638
00:27:36,089 --> 00:27:37,307
how to explain it to you,
but you just
639
00:27:37,351 --> 00:27:39,309
got to come get me
right now, okay?
640
00:27:39,353 --> 00:27:40,789
Are you all right?
Where are you, man?
641
00:27:40,833 --> 00:27:43,313
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm at, uh,
642
00:27:43,357 --> 00:27:47,013
4218 Fannin Boulevard.
Okay?
643
00:27:47,056 --> 00:27:48,667
Yeah, no problem, man.
I'll be there soon.
644
00:27:48,710 --> 00:27:50,320
-Thank you, Mike. Thank you.
-Just got to get up
645
00:27:50,364 --> 00:27:52,583
and get dressed.
646
00:27:52,627 --> 00:27:55,021
You know, I'm always
losing one sock.
647
00:27:55,064 --> 00:27:56,718
-Wha... Mike?
-Yeah?
648
00:27:59,242 --> 00:28:02,158
Uh, bring a couple
hundred bucks.
649
00:28:02,202 --> 00:28:04,726
You'll see, like, when
the dick's fully blooded,
650
00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:06,336
there's, like,
a little bit of a bend.
651
00:28:06,380 --> 00:28:08,599
My ideal way for this to happen
is if you take that bend
652
00:28:08,643 --> 00:28:09,775
and you just simply
straighten it.
653
00:28:12,821 --> 00:28:15,258
Uh, the bend, and if you
just take the bend
654
00:28:15,302 --> 00:28:18,871
and you straighten
and then just wait.
655
00:28:19,959 --> 00:28:21,134
No, no, no, no mueva.
656
00:28:22,526 --> 00:28:25,704
Yeah, uh, do you know what
a manatee is? Manatee.
657
00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:27,053
Manatee, the sea. Sea.
658
00:28:28,228 --> 00:28:30,012
Manatee?
659
00:28:31,579 --> 00:28:34,234
I am an animal. I am.
We're all a...
660
00:28:34,277 --> 00:28:35,670
I am an animal.
You know what?
661
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,280
-No...
-We-we don't-we don't
even have to...
662
00:28:37,324 --> 00:28:39,239
-We don't have to do it.
-No. No, no, no, no, no.
663
00:28:39,282 --> 00:28:41,720
I'm okay. Okay.
664
00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:42,721
It's totally cool.
665
00:28:42,764 --> 00:28:45,767
Oh, so... Oh.
666
00:28:45,811 --> 00:28:48,727
Yeah. Just s-still.
667
00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:51,077
Uh-huh.
668
00:30:02,104 --> 00:30:03,714
Welcome to
the Looking For
Love Tour!
669
00:30:03,758 --> 00:30:06,543
I've had so many
insane sexual
encounters.
670
00:30:06,587 --> 00:30:08,894
Truthfully, I'm looking
for my wife.
671
00:30:10,634 --> 00:30:13,202
You're with him every day?
How do you resist him?
672
00:30:14,682 --> 00:30:16,684
Are you serious?
Because I'm with
him every day.
673
00:30:16,727 --> 00:30:19,295
I'm so happy
that I get to see
America for what it is.
674
00:30:19,339 --> 00:30:21,602
Y'all find everything okay?Yeah.
675
00:30:21,645 --> 00:30:25,562
USA. USA.
676
00:30:25,606 --> 00:30:30,611
FX'sDave,
all new Wednesdays
at 10:00 on FXX.
677
00:30:32,613 --> 00:30:33,744
At some point,
678
00:30:33,788 --> 00:30:35,094
the game
becomes your life.
679
00:30:36,530 --> 00:30:38,924
It blinds you
to everything else.
680
00:30:40,751 --> 00:30:42,753
It consumes you.
681
00:30:42,797 --> 00:30:45,495
You can't just
turn it off.
682
00:30:45,539 --> 00:30:47,846
But in the end,
you get what
you deserve...
683
00:30:50,152 --> 00:30:51,632
...or deserve
what you get.
684
00:30:56,289 --> 00:30:58,421
FX'sSnowfall,
the final season
685
00:30:58,465 --> 00:31:01,294
all new Wednesdays
at 10:00 on FX.
686
00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:06,125
♪ You can run
687
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,394
♪ For a long time
688
00:31:16,526 --> 00:31:20,269
♪ Sooner or later
God will cut you down♪
689
00:31:24,795 --> 00:31:26,754
FX'sMayans,
690
00:31:26,797 --> 00:31:30,192
the final season
premieres May 24th on FX.
691
00:31:31,977 --> 00:31:33,326
It feels really good
to be back in the...
692
00:31:34,457 --> 00:31:36,895
Is he dead?NANDOR: I'm okay!
693
00:31:37,808 --> 00:31:38,722
I can mold this boy
694
00:31:40,681 --> 00:31:41,551
into the most
interesting adult
there has ever been.
695
00:31:42,204 --> 00:31:43,989
He really loves
musical theater.
696
00:31:44,032 --> 00:31:46,165
What have
the Dark Lord wrought?
697
00:31:47,949 --> 00:31:50,256
This is the big opening
of our nightclub.
698
00:31:50,299 --> 00:31:51,344
Cheers!
699
00:31:51,387 --> 00:31:52,954
Release the
blood sprinklers!
700
00:31:56,523 --> 00:32:00,179
FX's
What We Do in the Shadows
now streaming.
52623
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