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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:09,009 - None of your business, Elaine! - ( audience laughs ) 2 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:12,113 - All: No! - ( theme music playing ) 3 00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:25,025 - OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT. - A RING STAIN? 4 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:27,995 I HAVE A BAD HABIT OF JUST PUTTING MY DRINK DOWN ON THE TABLE. 5 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:30,698 BAD HABIT? PUT YOUR DRINK DOWN ON THE WOOD? 6 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:34,502 - LOOK AT THAT STAIN YOU MADE. - WELL, WE'LL JUST SAND IT OFF OR SOMETHING. 7 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,340 DO YOU RESPECT WOOD? 8 00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:44,612 I-- 9 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,280 - GUESS SO. - OH MY GOD. 10 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,916 YOU HAD A CUP LIKE THAT AT JULIA'S PARTY. 11 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,619 YOU LEFT THE RING STAIN ON JULIA'S TABLE. 12 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,088 SHE BLAMED ME THE WHOLE TIME, BUT IT WAS YOU. 13 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:56,657 - WELL, IT'S NO BIG DEAL. - YOU'RE RIGHT. 14 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,626 IT IS NO BIG DEAL. 15 00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:01,562 HAVING SAID THAT, 16 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,765 I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO CALL JULIA AND TELL HER YOU LEFT THE RING STAIN. 17 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,934 - I'M NOT CALLING JULIA. - YEAH, JUST TELL HER THAT-- 18 00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:09,503 THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LEFT THE STAIN ON THE ANTIQUE TABLE. 19 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,272 - HOLD IT ONE SECOND. - I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT. 20 00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:12,873 - YEAH, COME ON. - I'M NOT DOING THAT. 21 00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:15,243 - NO, I WANT YOU TO TALK TO HER. - I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO JULIA. 22 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:19,513 - CHERYL, HOLD ON ONE SECOND. - OH MY GOD, I AM NOT TALKING TO JULIA. 23 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,615 - I'M NOT DOING THIS. - HEY, JULES! 24 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,952 - SHOW WAS FANTASTIC. - WHAT WAS I THINKING? WHY WOULD I COME HERE? 25 00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:27,455 I'M NOT TALKING TO JULIA. I SAID NO 26 00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:29,190 AND YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME. 27 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,058 OH WAIT, HOLD-- HOLD ON, OKAY. 28 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:34,061 CHERYL, WAIT ONE SECOND! NO NO, I THINK SHE LEFT THE RING STAIN. HOLD ON. 29 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:37,231 - HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? - LEAVING, LARRY. 30 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,733 - HUH? WHY? - WHY?! 31 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:41,602 YEAH. CHERYL! 32 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:44,472 CHERYL. 33 00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:49,810 ( theme music playing ) 34 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:59,052 Man: LARRY, I KNOW DIVORCE IS PAINFUL, BUT THIS IS A FANTASTIC DEAL. 35 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,322 IT'S NOT ONLY THE BEST DEAL I'M GONNA GET FOR YOU, 36 00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,090 IT'S THE BEST DEAL THAT ANYBODY'S GONNA GET FOR ANYBODY. 37 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,259 YOU'RE GONNA KEEP YOUR HOUSE, YOU'RE KEEPING ALL YOUR PROPERTY. 38 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,161 YOU KNOW? I KNOW THAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU. 39 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,830 - I GOTTA BE A GOOD GUY. - YEAH, YOU WILL LOOK LIKE A GOOD GUY HERE. 40 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,166 - BUT I DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE A GOOD GUY HERE. - I KNOW. 41 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,067 - YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? - YES. 42 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:15,769 - OKAY, YEAH. - THIS IS WHAT I DO. 43 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:19,373 YOU'RE COMING OUT AHEAD IN THIS DEAL AND SHE'S COMING OUT BEHIND. 44 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,575 IMAGINE LIKE A DUTCH APPLE PIE, RIGHT? 45 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:25,045 THE FILLING, THE REAL MEAT OF THE PIE, IS EVERYTHING YOU'RE GETTING. 46 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,648 AND THE TOP OF THE PIE THAT LOOKS SO NICE 47 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,318 IS WHAT SHE'S GETTING. SHE'S JUST GETTING THE APPEARANCE. 48 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:33,321 YEAH, BUT I REALLY LIKE THAT CRUMBLY STUFF ON THE TOP. 49 00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,356 NO, EVERYBODY DOES. YEAH, IT'S DELICIOUS. 50 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:38,192 I LIKE THAT MORE THAN THE PIE. I WOULD RATHER GET THAT 51 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,195 - THAN THE PIE. - YEAH, I KNOW, BUT IT'S-- 52 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,431 BUT THAT'S JUST-- THAT'S A PART OF IT, 53 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,766 BUT THE REAL-- IT WOULDN'T BE A PIE WITHOUT THE FILLING. 54 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,101 - YEAH, BUT IT'S MY FAVORITE PART. - SO LET'S SWITCH IT. 55 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:51,439 SHE'S GETTING THE FILLING AND YOU'RE GETTING THE RAZZLE-DAZZLE THAT IS 56 00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:54,041 - THE BROWN CRUMBLY STUFF. - THE DELICIOUS BROWN CRUMBLY STUFF. 57 00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:55,476 - YEAH, YEAH YEAH. - THE CINNAMON. 58 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,278 IT'S A GOOD DEAL. IT'S READY TO BE SIGNED. 59 00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:58,979 EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE, LARRY. 60 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,282 YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. 61 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:04,218 YOU KNOW WHAT, BERG? I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB. 62 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,986 UH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, CAPTAIN. I APPRECIATE THAT. 63 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:09,122 CHERYL AND HER LAWYER ARE GOING TO BE HERE IN A MATTER OF MINUTES. 64 00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:12,426 YOU DON'T HAVE TO, BUT IT MIGHT NOT BE A BAD IDEA FOR YOU TO STICK AROUND FOR THAT MEETING. 65 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:16,464 - NO, I'M GONNA GO. - OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH. OKAY. 66 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,632 - YOU'RE WELCOME TO STAY. - I LIKE THIS DESK. 67 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:21,068 - YOU HAVE A LOT OF ROOM UNDER HERE. - YEAH, IT'S NICE. 68 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:22,870 IT'D BE A GOOD DESK TO GET BLOWJOBS UNDER. 69 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:26,206 THAT'S NOT WHY I BOUGHT IT, BUT LET'S CALL IT A HAPPY ACCIDENT. 70 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:30,344 - OKAY, BERG. - LARRY, DON'T WORRY SO MUCH. 71 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,879 - IT'S A GOOD DEAL. - OKAY, I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY. 72 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,914 I'M GONNA LEAVE IT IN YOUR HANDS. I TRUST YOU. 73 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,683 - YOU SHOULD. - I HAVE A LOT OF CONFIDENCE IN YOU. 74 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:38,218 - ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU, LARRY. - SEE YOU AROUND. 75 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,754 Cheryl: LARRY. 76 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:43,391 - OH HEY. - HI. 77 00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:46,294 - HEY. GOOD TO SEE YOU. - HELLO. 78 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,396 - GOOD TO SEE YOU. - THIS IS DAVID RABINOWITZ, 79 00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:49,763 MY ATTORNEY. THIS IS LARRY DAVID. 80 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,231 - NICE TO MEET YOU. - NICE TO MEET YOU. 81 00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,233 YOU HIRED A BALD MAN, HUH? 82 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:56,704 UH, THAT WAS A COINCIDENCE. 83 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,406 I DIDN'T REALLY GO AFTER A BALD MAN. 84 00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:01,575 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD HAVE RECUSED YOURSELF. 85 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,677 WE CAN'T GO UP AGAINST EACH OTHER. 86 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,746 - IT'S A CODE. IT'S IN THE BALD CODE. - IS IT? 87 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:09,149 - YES, IT IS. - OH, I DO NEED TO COME BY AND PICK UP SOME STUFF. 88 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,485 - OH, YOU WANT TO GET THE BEDDING AND EVERYTHING? - YES. 89 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,421 I'M GIVING HER THE BEDDING. SEE? 90 00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,656 - YOU DON'T LIKE THE BEDDING. - I LIKE THE BEDDING. 91 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,725 AND THE PILLOWS. I'M GIVING YOU ALL THOSE PILLOWS. 92 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:20,628 - YEAH, YOU LIKE-- YOU WANT THAT, RIGHT? - YEAH, BUT 93 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,696 YOU DON'T LIKE THOSE PILLOWS EITHER. 94 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,833 I KNOW, BUT I COULD CHARGE YOU FOR THEM IF I WASN'T BEING FAIR. 95 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,469 - YOU COULD CHARGE ME FOR THE PILLOWS? - YES, ISN'T THAT RIGHT? 96 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,571 - I'M NOT SURE. - TECHNICALLY. 97 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,473 TECHNICALLY. CORRECT, OKAY? 98 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,875 - OKAY. - YOUR BALD LAWYER SAYS TECHNICALLY YES. 99 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:38,879 AND I CAN CALL YOU BALD. IT'S LIKE BLACK PEOPLE CALLING EACH OTHER NIGGA. 100 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,749 - "HEY, BALDY," YOU KNOW? - OKAY, LET'S-- IT'S BETTER IF YOU DON'T. 101 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,651 - OKAY. - I THINK YOU'RE CROSSING BOUNDARIES 102 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,519 - THAT SHOULDN'T BE CROSSED. - OKAY. 103 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:50,558 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - I'M PRACTICING A TIC I'M WORKING ON. 104 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,629 YOU KNOW, FOR DATING. I'M JUST WONDERING IF SHE'LL POINT IT OUT, THAT'S ALL. 105 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,731 AND THAT'S WHAT YOU DO ON YOUR DATES? 106 00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,733 - YEAH, I'LL JUST KEEP GOING LIKE THIS. - YOU MAKE UP A TIC 107 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,935 - TO SEE HOW LONG YOUR-- OKAY, UM... - YEAH. 108 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:06,540 WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF YOU WERE SITTING ACROSS FROM SOMEBODY GOING LIKE THIS? 109 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,676 IF HE WAS DOING IT ON PURPOSE, I WOULD THINK HE WAS AN ASSHOLE. 110 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,379 ONLY BECAUSE I TOLD YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHO I AM. 111 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,847 BUT IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW ME AND WE HAD JUST MET, 112 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,984 AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'RE SITTING ACROSS FROM ME AND I'M GOING-- 113 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,420 OKAY, THAT DOESN'T WORK. I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD DO THAT. 114 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,689 ( chuckles ) WH-- WHY NOT? HUH? 115 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,691 - LET'S GO. - IT'S JUST A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT. 116 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,593 - Cheryl: I'LL TEXT YOU. - ALL RIGHT, NICE TO MEET YOU. 117 00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,628 Rabinowitz: NICE MEETING YOU. 118 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:30,764 Larry: I GOT THE SHARPEST JEWISH DIVORCE LAWYER IN TOWN. 119 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,800 - HE'S TERRIFIC. - Jeff: YOU LIKE BERG? 120 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,268 - I LIKE HIM A LOT, YEAH. - OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU AND I EVER SPLIT UP, 121 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,304 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, WE GET A DIVORCE, 122 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,673 50-50. YOU TAKE WHATEVER 50% YOU WANT. 123 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,642 I'LL TAKE WHAT'S LEFT. NO ARGUING, 124 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,678 - NO NEGATIVITY. - WHAT, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? 125 00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:47,581 YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA HAVE A NICE DIVORCE IF WE EVER GET DIVORCED? 126 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,584 NO FUCKING WAY. I'M TAKING YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE, MISTER. 127 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,821 I'M TAKING YOUR BALLS AND I'M THUMBTACKING THEM TO THE WALL. 128 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:56,757 YOU'RE GONNA GET NOTHING OUT OF IT. YOU MENTION THE "D" WORD ONCE 129 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,627 IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE, YOU'LL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER MET ME. 130 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:09,470 OKAY. I'VE GOT SOME GREAT NEWS. 131 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,940 GUESS WHERE THE FUNKMAN IS GOING FOR THREE WEEKS. 132 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,476 - MIAMI? - LONDON! 133 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,110 - LONDON! - OH AH! 134 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,113 - HOW ABOUT THAT? - ON BUSINESS, HOW GREAT IS THAT? 135 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,482 - WOW, THAT'S FUN. - ARE YOU GOING? 136 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,451 - NO. - OH, REALLY? 137 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:26,286 - SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO TRAVEL. - I DON'T GO ON BUSINESS TRIPS WITH HIM. 138 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,188 - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THERE? - NO. 139 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:31,525 OH MY GOD, YOU SHOULD GO. IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR. 140 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,394 - HMM, REALLY? - YEAH! 141 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,196 - LONDON! - MAYBE I SHOULD GO, MARTY. 142 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,832 NO, IT'S COLD. RIGHT NOW IT'S COLD AND FOGGY AND DANGEROUS. 143 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,702 THEY HAVE GANGS OVER THERE AND EVERYTHING ELSE AND I'LL BE DOING BUSINESS. 144 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,505 I NEVER TRAVEL WITH YOU. I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA. I'M GOING. 145 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,040 - LET'S TALK ABOUT-- - THANK YOU. 146 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,543 THAT'S DECIDED. I'M IN. 147 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,514 UM... 148 00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,149 - WHAT'S EVERYBODY GETTING FOR LUNCH? - FISH CHOWDER. 149 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,118 GONNA HAVE SOME SORT OF LIGHT SALAD. 150 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,420 - I'M NOT THAT HUNGRY. - I THINK I'M GONNA GET THE BUFFET. 151 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:03,223 - ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE BACK. 152 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,693 - THE FISH CHOWDER'S YUMMY. - LARRY! 153 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,561 - HEY, JOE. - LARRY, HOW ARE YOU? 154 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,162 - PRETTY GOOD. - Susie: ANNA! 155 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,264 - OH MY GOD, HOW ARE YOU? - RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT, THIS IS ANNA. 156 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:14,034 HEY, THIS IS-- YOU KNOW JOE O'DONNELL, THE OWNER OF THE DODGERS. 157 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,203 - YES. - HI, EVERYBODY. I DIDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT. 158 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,271 - NICE TO MEET YOU. - ANNA AND I DID PILATES TOGETHER. 159 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:20,641 - HOW ARE YOU? THINGS GOING GOOD? - GREAT GREAT, YEAH. 160 00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,810 DID YOU SPEAK TO ANDY TODAY? OUR FEARLESS ATTORNEY? 161 00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:25,378 - WE HAVE THE SAME DIVORCE LAWYER. - OH YES! 162 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,247 OH, THE FUN WE'RE HAVING. 163 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:29,817 - HOW'S IT GOING WITH YOU? - WELL... 164 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,219 YOU KNOW, IT'S COMPLICATED TO SAY THE LEAST. 165 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:35,422 THE TEAM IS-- THE TEAM'S AN ASSET 166 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,758 AND IT'S KIND OF A LITTLE PRECARIOUS RIGHT NOW. 167 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,427 I THINK HE'LL COME THROUGH FOR US THOUGH. I'M PRETTY CONFIDENT. 168 00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:42,295 - YEAH, HE'S GOOD. - BY THE WAY, WOULD YOU BE... 169 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,832 WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN COMING OUT, SITTING IN A BOX WITH ME? 170 00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:46,634 - OH, THAT'D BE FUN. - WE CAN COMMISERATE, 171 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:49,069 DISCUSS WHY THE HELL WE GOT MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE. 172 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,271 YEAH, I'D BE INTERESTED. 173 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,373 - YES. - OH, WE SHOULD TELL THEM. 174 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:57,978 JOE'S 13-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER KYRA IS GOING TO BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOORS POSSIBLY. 175 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,480 - LOOK OUT! - SHE'S SELLING GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. 176 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,716 - IT'S THE LAST WEEK. - SHE'S GOING FOR THE RECORD THIS YEAR. 177 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,885 - SHE WAS CLOSE. - WE'RE IN, RIGHT, JEFF? 178 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,555 I'LL BE SLAMMING THE DOOR IN HER FACE. I HOPE THAT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU. 179 00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,723 - OH COME ON, GIVE HER A BREAK. - WE'RE SENDING HER TO YOU FIRST. 180 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,091 SHE'S COMING. BE PREPARED. 181 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:13,594 - TAKE CARE, EVERYBODY. - NICE TO SEE YOU. 182 00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,700 - OH, OKAY! - HUH? 183 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,234 - THERE YOU GO. - YOU LOVING THAT? 184 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,605 - THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. - I TOLD YOU THE BUFFET, MAN. 185 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,874 - BOY, DID WE DO THE WRONG THING. - SHRIMP? 186 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:30,878 - CRAB LEGS, SHRIMP, POTATOES. - I'M STILL A LITTLE BIT HUNGRY. CAN I TAKE A COUPLE POTATOES? 187 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,646 - HELP YOURSELF. - Funkhouser: LOOK AT THAT. 188 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,514 - TAKE A CRAB LEG. ABSOLUTELY. - ARE YOU SURE? 189 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:37,217 - TAKE SOME SHRIMP TOO. - I'LL TAKE TWO SHRIMP. THERE WE GO. 190 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,719 - THANK YOU. - TAKE THREE. YOU WANT THREE? 191 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,754 NO, TWO'S PLENTY. THAT'S ALL I WANT. 192 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:44,524 - Funkhouser: WHEN YOU GO BACK, GET ME SOME. - HI, I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT. 193 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,561 UM, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE FROM THE BUFFET 194 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,763 AND SHARE WITH SOMEONE WHO'S ORDERED OFF THE MENU. 195 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:53,200 SO UNFORTUNATELY WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CHARGE YOU FOR AN ADDITIONAL BUFFET. 196 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,335 - IT SAYS IT'S ALL YOU CAN EAT. - IT'S ALL YOU CAN EAT. 197 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,738 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IF I GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY ELSE? 198 00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,740 BECAUSE THEN HE'S EATING IT. IT'S ALL HE CAN EAT ALSO. 199 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,543 I WASN'T GOING TO MAKE A SECOND VISIT. THIS IS IT. THIS IS MY ONLY PLATE. 200 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:06,546 - BUT HOW AM I TO KNOW THAT? - IT DOESN'T SAY THAT YOU CAN'T-- 201 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,016 EXCUSE ME, MAYBE I CAN HELP. HELLO, I'M HIRIAM KATZ, 202 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,752 ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. MAYBE I CAN STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT. 203 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:14,454 FIRST OF ALL, IN YOUR IMPLIED CONTRACT WITH THIS MAN 204 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,524 THERE IS NOTHING THAT ALLOWS YOU TO RESTRICT WHAT HE DOES WITH YOUR PRODUCT 205 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,594 AFTER HE PURCHASES IT, SO HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH THE FOOD. 206 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:24,131 AND SECONDLY, IF YOU SUSPECT THAT HE'S STEALING ANOTHER BUFFET FROM YOU, 207 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,466 YOU'D HAVE TO BE ABLE TO ESTABLISH PRIOR INTENT. 208 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,335 NOW CAN YOU PROVE PRIOR INTENT? 209 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,303 I DIDN'T THINK SO. 210 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,340 SO IN THE ABSENCE OF THAT, I'M AFRAID THERE'S REALLY NOTHING YOU CAN DO 211 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,810 EXCEPT PROBABLY APOLOGIZE TO THESE PEOPLE AND MAYBE BUY THEM A ROUND OF DRINKS. 212 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,946 HMM? 213 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,049 I'M SORRY AND... 214 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,818 I'D BE HAPPY TO GET YOU A ROUND OF DRINKS. 215 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,720 APOLOGY ACCEPTED. THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY. 216 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,355 - THANK YOU. - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 217 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,258 I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND. I HATE TO SEE PEOPLE RIPPED OFF THAT WAY. 218 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,761 SO I THOUGHT I WOULD DIVE IN. I AM HIRIAM KATZ, 219 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,629 ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. HERE'S MY CARD. 220 00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:58,331 ENJOY YOUR BRUNCH. 221 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,571 HEY, HOW ABOUT O'DONNELL INVITING ME TO SIT IN HIS BOX? 222 00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,173 THAT'S SOME COOL SHIT. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 223 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,941 - THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT FOR US, MAN. - I KNOW. 224 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,910 THIS IS BETTER THAN-- EXCUSE ME? 225 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,544 - IT'S GREAT FOR US. - GREAT FOR US? 226 00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:14,281 - IT'S GREAT FOR ME. - THE HOOKUP ALWAYS COMES WITH A PLUS ONE. 227 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,516 - THERE'S NO PLUS ONE HERE. - I GET HOOKED UP, 228 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,119 - YOU GET HOOKED UP ALL THE TIME. - YOU'VE NEVER GOTTEN A HOOKUP! 229 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,821 I GOT PLENTY OF HOOKUPS, LARRY. YOU DON'T SEE THEM. 230 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,790 YOU DON'T NOTICE THE SMALL SHIT, LARRY! 231 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,892 WHAT SMALL SHIT? THERE HASN'T BEEN ANY SMALL THINGS. 232 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,727 - IT'S THE SMALL THINGS, LARRY. - ( doorbell rings ) 233 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,796 - THERE'S NO PLUS ONE. - THERE'S ALWAYS A PLUS ONE. 234 00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:31,498 HI, IS THIS LARRY DAVID'S HOUSE? 235 00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:35,502 - THIS IS LARRY DAVID. - OH, HI. I'M KYRA, JOE'S DAUGHTER. 236 00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,304 - KYRA O'DONNELL! - YEAH. 237 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:38,939 - HEY. - HEY. 238 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:42,275 - UM, DO YOU LIKE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES? - I FIND THEM ABHORRENT. 239 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,144 - BUT COME IN. - OKAY, COOL. 240 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:47,447 UM, SO WE'RE IN STOCK ON A LOT OF THE COOKIES. 241 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:48,949 - OKAY. - WHICH IS GOOD NEWS. 242 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,384 UM, WE HAVE THANK U BERRY MUNCH COOKIES. 243 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,553 OH, THANK U BERRY MUNCH, OOOOH. 244 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,723 TH-TH-TH-THANK U BERRY MUNCH. 245 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,391 ( giggles ) WE HAVE THE TAGALONGS. 246 00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,592 - TAGALONGS. - YEAH. 247 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:01,628 WE HAVE THE... 248 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:03,997 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT EVEN INTERESTED. 249 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,900 GIVE ME FIVE BOXES OF EACH OF THEM. 250 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,736 - REALLY? - YEAH, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT? 251 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,371 - THAT'S AWESOME. - HUH? NOT BAD, RIGHT? 252 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,074 OKAY, YEAH. UM, WELL, YOU COULD JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THAT. 253 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,609 ALL RIGHT. NOW YOU SEE, THESE SAMOAS, 254 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,345 THAT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD ACTUALLY. 255 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,814 IT'S COVERED WITH CARAMEL, ROLLED IN TOASTED COCONUT. 256 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:23,683 'CAUSE I'M A HUGE COCONUT GUY. 257 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,887 EVERYTHING OKAY? 258 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:32,359 I, UH, THINK I JUST HAD MY FIRST PERIOD. 259 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,799 OKAY. THAT'S... YEAH. 260 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,401 OKAY, SO THAT'S NO PROBLEM. 261 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,636 THAT'S NO PROBLEM AT ALL. YOU KNOW WHY? IN FACT, 262 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,273 I GOT AN EX-WIFE AND I WAS MARRIED 263 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,175 AND SHE'S A WOMAN. SHE LEFT STUFF UPSTAIRS 264 00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:50,243 THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY VALUABLE TO YOU. 265 00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,980 I'M GOING TO RUN UP AND GET IT. YOU STAY RIGHT HERE. DON'T MOVE. 266 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,182 OKAY, DON'T WORRY. YOU HAD IT IN THE RIGHT PLACE. 267 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:58,018 I'M NOT KIDDING. I GOT THIS. I GOT THIS. 268 00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,487 STAY RIGHT THERE. I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN. 269 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,923 OK-KAY 270 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,759 OKAY, GOT IT. 271 00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:09,362 HERE YOU GO, ALL RIGHT. 272 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,733 ALL RIGHT, GOOD LUCK. 273 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,470 UM, I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO USE ONE OF THESE. 274 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:21,942 OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. THERE'S INSTRUCTIONS HERE. 275 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:26,013 UM... 276 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,983 OKAY OKAY. 277 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,219 "IF YOU'RE USING A TAMPON, YOU'LL SEE THAT 278 00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,487 THE PLASTIC APPLICATOR IS MADE OF TWO TUBES. 279 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,190 - ONE--" - WHAT DO YOU MEAN "PLASTIC APPLICATOR"? 280 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,292 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS. 281 00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:43,363 I JUST DON'T GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 282 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,499 OH OKAY. 283 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,336 "HOLD THE APPLICATOR LIGHTLY ON THE OUTER INSERTION TUBE 284 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,704 AT THE GRIP LOCATION WITH YOUR THUMB AND MIDDLE FINGER." 285 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,373 - WHAT THE FUCK? - LIGHTLY? 286 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,375 - WHAT DO-- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO-- - WAIT A SECOND. 287 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,845 "GENTLY SLIDE THE APPLICATOR ALL THE WAY INTO YOUR VAGI--" 288 00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,547 HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M DOING IT RIGHT? 289 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:04,384 I'VE NEVER USED ONE OF THESE AND I'M REALLY FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW. 290 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,719 OH, OKAY! 291 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,555 I GOT IT. I GOT IT. 292 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,757 LOOK, IT PUSHES IT OUT. 293 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:13,861 - ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READING THE RIGHT DIRECTIONS? - NO, LISTEN TO ME. 294 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,763 LISTEN TO ME. TAKE THE INSIDE WHERE THE STRING IS 295 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:19,232 AND PUSH IT-- PUSH IT. 296 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,701 - PUSH IT? - PUSH IT. YOU'LL SEE A COTTON-- 297 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,337 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - YOU'LL SEE A COTTON PIECE COME OUT. 298 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:25,973 OKAY, THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. 299 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,607 - CAN YOU TALK A LITTLE SLOWER? - OKAY. 300 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,409 - THERE'S A TUBE, RIGHT? - YES. 301 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,211 - THERE'S AN OUTER TUBE AND AN INNER TUBE. - INNER TUBE? 302 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,546 PUT THE OUTER TUBE IN YOUR VAGINA. 303 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:37,084 - AND-AND-- - I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. 304 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:39,152 TAKE THE-- 305 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:42,355 TAKE THE OUTER TUBE, TAKE YOUR THUMB AND MIDDLE FINGER... 306 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,558 - WAIT, WHAT? - ...AND PUSH THAT TUBE FORWARD. 307 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,561 - IT COMES OUT OF THE PLASTIC! - WAIT, THAT SEEMS WRONG. 308 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,865 LOOK, IT CAME OUT OF THE PLASTIC. I'M HOLDING IT! 309 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,167 - OKAY-- - YOU GOT IT? 310 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,236 I THINK SO. I THINK I GOT IT. 311 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,537 ALL RIGHT! 312 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,725 Larry: SO I'M AT A LIGHT ON BUNDY AND SAN VINCENTE, 313 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,427 GUY PULLS UP NEXT TO ME ON A MOTORCYCLE, 314 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,363 - GUESS WHO IT TURNS OUT TO BE. - PORTIA DE ROSSI. 315 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:24,898 - HUH-UH. - WHO? 316 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:27,300 - ANDREW BERG, MY LAWYER. - REALLY? ON A MOTORCYCLE? 317 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,602 YEAH. WHAT IS A JEW DOING ON A MOTORCYCLE? 318 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,405 I NEVER RECALL EVER SEEING A JEW ON A MOTORCYCLE. 319 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,575 - DID YOU EVER WANT TO GET A MOTORCYCLE? - I ONCE GOT ON A MOTOR SCOOTER 320 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,177 AND GOT ABOUT 30 FEET AND FELL. 321 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,312 - MOTOR SCOOTER? WHEN DID THIS OCCUR? - I WAS IN COLLEGE. 322 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:40,981 - OH, YOU WERE IN COLLEGE. - YEAH. 323 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,715 SO YOU HAD A BIG 'FRO ON A MOTOR SCOOTER? 324 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,752 - YES, YEAH. - IT'S NOT THIS LARRY ON THE MOTOR SCOOTER. 325 00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,055 IT'S YOUNG LARRY WITH THE BIG 'FRO. 326 00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:50,190 RIGHT, IT'S 'FRO LARRY. 'FRO-- 327 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:54,027 WELL, GOOD AFTERNOON, GENERAL PETRAEUS. IT'S LOVELY TO SEE YOU. 328 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,929 - FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY. - ( giggles ) 329 00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,165 - AND I THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. - HA HA HA HA. 330 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,233 THIS HAPPENS TO BE VERY IN. JOHN VARVATOS... 331 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,335 - REALLY? - ...HIS ENTIRE FALL COLLECTION... 332 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,537 - IS THAT RIGHT? CAMOUFLAGE, IS THAT THE NEW THING? - ...IS CAMOUFLAGE. 333 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,473 YES. LISTEN, YOU KNOW, I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING. 334 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,942 YOU BETTER GO OVER TO O'DONNELL AND APOLOGIZE. 335 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:12,345 - WHY, WHAT DID I DO? - YOU'RE TEACHING HIS DAUGHTER HOW TO PUT IN A TAMPON? 336 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,847 - HE'S VERY UPSET ABOUT IT. - OH, COME ON! 337 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,549 IF HER NOSE IS RUNNING AND SHE NEEDED A TISSUE, 338 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,518 I WOULD HAVE GIVEN HER A TISSUE. SAME THING. 339 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,887 NO, NOT THE SAME THING. IT'S INAPPROPRIATE. 340 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,956 - IT'S A TAMPON. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 341 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:26,193 - THE GIRL WAS HAVING HER PERIOD IN MY HOUSE. - IT'S NOT MY ISSUE, LARRY! 342 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,328 IT'S HIS ISSUE. I'M JUST THE MESSENGER. 343 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,363 DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER, AS THEY SAY. 344 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,665 - I WOULDN'T MIND KILLING THE MESSENGER. - YEAH, I BET. 345 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,767 - ( doorbell rings ) - SAY THOSE THINGS WHEN YOU REALLY LOVE ME. 346 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,836 - I THINK THE WHOLE THING IS CRAZY. - YOU KNOW WHAT? 347 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,339 - I DON'T THINK HE'S GONNA GIVE YOU THOSE TICKETS. - REALLY? 348 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,674 - THAT'S SO RIDICULOUS. - SO GO APOLOGIZE. 349 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,577 - WHAT'S THE BIG FUCKING DEAL? - I'M GONNA GO OVER THERE AND TALK TO HIM. 350 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:47,447 - HI, MARTY. - HI, SUSIE. 351 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,583 WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE. IT'S THE BIG FUNK. 352 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,419 YOU ARE A COLOSSAL PRICK. 353 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,421 - ( laughs ) - DO YOU KNOW THAT? 354 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,057 - BOY, I'M REALLY GETTING IT TODAY. - YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY? 355 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,925 - WHAT DID I DO? - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 356 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,861 YOU RUINED MY WHOLE VACATION. YOU HAD TO BUTT IN 357 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,496 AND TELL NAN TO GO ON MY TRIP. 358 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,999 - I'M SORRY. - I COULD HAVE HAD THREE WEEKS 359 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,068 WORKING AND BEING ALONE. 360 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,237 I WAS CURIOUS AS TO WHY SHE WASN'T GOING. 361 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,305 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO WITH HER? WHY DON'T YOU BRING HER? 362 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,874 I'M BORED! EVERYWHERE I GO WITH HER WE DON'T LOOK AT EACH OTHER, 363 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,110 SHE TALKS OVER ME. I WANT TO BE ALONE. 364 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,346 I WANT TO GET THE CHANCE TO SPREAD MY WINGS. 365 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:22,415 - WHY DON'T YOU GET A DIVORCE? - I'M TOO LAZY. 366 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:32,025 COMING! YES, MAY I HELP YOU? 367 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,094 I'M HERE TO SEE MR. O'DONNELL. 368 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:36,896 - LARRY DAVID. - MR. O'DONNELL HERE, 369 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:40,967 BUT HE GIVE ME SPECIAL INSTRUCTION NOT TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOU. 370 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,569 WHAT? WAIT A SECOND. 371 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,105 WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME? WHY? 372 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,874 MR. O'DONNELL SAY YOU DID BAD THING TO MISS KYRA. 373 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,742 - A BAD THING? - YES. 374 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,344 OH NO NO NO NO NO. 375 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,646 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING BAD TO MISS KYRA. 376 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:57,016 I CLOSE DOOR. MR. O'DONNELL SAY, "LARRY DAVID, CLOSE DOOR ON HIM." 377 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,585 WHAT? HOLD IT. WAIT A SECOND. 378 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,653 I'M SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE BASEBALL GAME WITH HIM. 379 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,323 - YOU HAVE TICKET? - NO, BUT HE ASKED ME IF I WAS INTERESTED 380 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,125 AND I SAID I'D BE VERY INTERESTED. 381 00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:07,060 INTERESTED DOESN'T MEAN TICKET. 382 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,795 YEAH, INTERESTED MEANS TICKET! 383 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,863 I'M INTERESTED, I HAVE NO TICKET. 384 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,166 GARDENER INTERESTED, CHAUFFER INTERESTED, 385 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,435 COOK INTERESTED-- COOK MORE INTERESTED THAN ME, 386 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,470 HE HAS NO TICKET! 387 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,512 - Larry: NO. - I CAN'T HAVE THEM? 388 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,180 - NO. - THAT'S WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE? 389 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,149 - I LOVE THOSE. - NO. 390 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,783 WHAT? PUT THOSE BACK. 391 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,420 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE? 392 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,788 I DON'T CARE. YOU'RE NOT COMING UP HERE AND STEALING THOSE! 393 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,590 - THOSE THINGS. - YES. 394 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:41,361 WELL, OKAY, IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL... 395 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,663 - I WILL, I'LL LET YOU KNOW. - ...I WILL RETURN THEM IMMEDIATELY. 396 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:47,467 - I'LL LET YOU KNOW. - I KNOW, IT'S KINDA WEIRD WE'RE GONNA ACTUALLY 397 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:50,203 - SIGN THE PAPERS, RIGHT? - YEAH, WE'RE GONNA SIGN THOSE PAPERS. 398 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:53,240 - I'M FINE WITH IT. - YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE, AFTER THEY GET DIVORCED, 399 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,308 THEY LOOK AT THEIR MARRIAGE LIKE IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME? 400 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,009 - I DON'T THINK SO. - I DON'T EITHER. 401 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,978 TO ME, IT'S KIND OF LIKE PUBLIC SCHOOL. 402 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,947 YOU WENT TO SCHOOL, YOU GOT THROUGH IT 403 00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:03,350 - AND NOW YOU MOVE ON. - WHAT'D YOU LEARN? 404 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,752 I WOULDN'T BE TONGUE SCRAPING IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU. 405 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:09,021 - LOOK WHAT YOU TAUGHT ME. - AND THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE TAKING AWAY FROM OUR MARRIAGE. 406 00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:12,259 - YES. - OKAY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE TAKING SOMETHING WITH YOU. 407 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,294 - HEY, BEFORE YOU GO. - YES? 408 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,196 DO YOU THINK THERE'S ANY CHANCE WE COULD HAVE SEX? 409 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,498 - UM, NO. - COME ON. 410 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,867 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? HONESTLY, THINK ABOUT IT, 411 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:23,270 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? LET'S JUST DO IT. COME ON. 412 00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:24,837 WHAT HAVE I DONE? NAME ONE THING I'VE DONE 413 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,873 THAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. 414 00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,975 - WELL, UM... - I'M TALKING TO YOU? 415 00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:30,810 YES, YOU'RE TALKING TO ME. 416 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,446 - THAT'S ALL YOU NEED? - YEAH. WHEN THERE ARE WOMEN IN THIS BEDROOM, 417 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:36,015 IT SEEMS CRAZY IF I DON'T AT LEAST OFFER. 418 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,418 OH, I MEANT TO TELL YOU-- THIS IS INTERESTING-- 419 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,420 - YOU KNOW YOUR ATTORNEY? - ANDREW BERG! 420 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,256 ANDREW BERG WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH JULIE 421 00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,892 AT ST. CHRISTOPHER'S. THEY ACTUALLY SAT NEXT TO EACH OTHER-- 422 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,795 WAIT A SECOND. HOW COULD ANDREW BERG 423 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:51,398 GO TO ST. CHRISTOPHER'S? ISN'T THAT A CATHOLIC SCHOOL? 424 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:54,100 - YEAH. - ( doorbell rings ) 425 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:57,604 I SAW HIM ON THAT MOTORCYCLE 426 00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,539 THE OTHER DAY. 427 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,443 - OH WELL. - Girls: HI! 428 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,313 - GOOD AFTERNOON. - HELLO. GOOD AFTERNOON. 429 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,948 SO WE'RE TROOP 205 AND WE'RE HERE TO COLLECT 430 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:11,117 THE MONEY FROM THE COOKIES, MR. DAVID, 431 00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:13,453 THAT KYRA SAID YOU WERE INTERESTED IN BUYING. 432 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:16,989 FIRST OF ALL, I COMMEND YOU ON THE DEMOGRAPHICS. 433 00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,625 All: THANK YOU. 434 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:22,028 A BLACK, AN ASIAN AND-- ARE YOU A JEW PERCHANCE? 435 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:25,698 - UH, NO. - OH OKAY, STILL, 436 00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,667 WONDERFUL. 437 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:30,903 REGARDING THE COOKIES, THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE OF PLANS. 438 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:34,173 SORRY TO SAY, 439 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,708 I NO LONGER WANT THEM. 440 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,245 BUT KYRA SAID YOU WERE INTERESTED IN BUYING THEM. 441 00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,547 I WAS INTERESTED AND NOW, 442 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,615 AS A RESULT OF SOME DIFFICULTIES WITH HER FATHER, 443 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,784 - I'M NO LONGER INTERESTED. - WHAT? 444 00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:47,220 - YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY MONEY FROM ME. - YOU CAN'T DO THAT! 445 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,522 - BE A GENTLEMAN. - I AM A GENTLEMAN, YOUNG LADY! 446 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,691 - OH NO, YOU'RE NOT! - A REAL GENTLEMAN... 447 00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,993 - WOULD GIVE US THE MONEY. - ...WOULD GIVE US THE MONEY, YEAH. 448 00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,395 - I AM A GENTLEMAN-- - NO, YOU'RE NOT! 449 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,196 - YES, I AM A GENTLEMAN. - YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT! 450 00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:58,498 - YES, YEAH, I'M DOING IT. - NO! 451 00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,333 YOU GO TALK TO JOE O'DONNELL. 452 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,201 ASK HIM WHY THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY COOKIES! 453 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,504 - ( girls yelling ) - OH, TOO BAD! 454 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:06,539 JERK! 455 00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,675 Berg: HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE! 456 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,810 - HELLO, BERG. - HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 457 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,745 I'M FEELING OKAY. SO, BERG, 458 00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:15,448 I WAS TALKING TO CHERYL AND SHE TOLD ME 459 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,184 THAT A FRIEND OF HERS 460 00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,553 WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH YOU. 461 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,356 - REALLY? - YES. 462 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,458 I THINK THE NAME OF THE HIGH SCHOOL WAS... 463 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:29,329 - ST.... CHRISTOPHER'S. - ST. CHRISTOPHER'S, THAT'S CORRECT. 464 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:31,398 THAT IS MY ALMA MATER, YES. 465 00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:34,901 DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEY TOOK JEWS AT ST. CHRISTOPHER'S. 466 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:38,104 OH, WELL, THEY DON'T. I MEAN, WHY WOULD THEY? 467 00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:40,440 - OH, I'M NOT-- I'M NOT JEWISH. - OH! 468 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,675 - YOU'RE NOT. - DID YOU THINK I WAS JEWISH? 469 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:45,144 OH-- YES, I DID. 470 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,046 - BECAUSE OF BERG! - YES, BECAUSE OF BERG. 471 00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:48,515 - BECAUSE OF BERG. - YES. 472 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:51,518 - I'VE OFTEN WONDERED WOULD PEOPLE... - REALLY? 473 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,753 - ...THINK THAT. - YES, AND YOU DID NOTHING 474 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:57,023 - TO PERPETUATE THAT, DID YOU? - WELL, NO, I MEAN-- 475 00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,691 WELL, I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN. 476 00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:02,228 OH, HOW ABOUT ON MY BIRTHDAY? "MAZEL TOV, LARRY." 477 00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,597 WELL, YOU'RE JEWISH. IT'S ONLY RESPECTFUL. 478 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,467 ON THE HIGH HOLY DAYS, I SAID, "HEY, YOU GOING TO TEMPLE, BERG?" 479 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:10,069 - AND YOU WENT, "NO." - RIGHT, 'CAUSE I'M NOT JEWISH 480 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,571 SO WHY WOULD I GO TO TEMPLE? 481 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,806 RIGHT, LIKE, "I'M A JEW, BUT NOT A PRACTICING JEW." 482 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:16,709 - OI, LARRY, WITH THIS-- - OI! AGAIN! SEE? 483 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:18,745 - IT'S AN EXPRESSION. - THERE'S ANOTHER-- IT'S AN EXPRESSION? 484 00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,513 - IT'S AN EXPRESSION THAT PEOPLE USE. - WHAT IS THIS THING? 485 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,482 A SHOFAR. WHY IS THIS ON YOUR DES? 486 00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:25,184 PEOPLE GIVE ME GIFTS. THEY'LL GIVE ME LIKE-- THAT FOR MY DESK 487 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,853 OR THE MEZUZAH THAT'S ON THE DOOR. 488 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,955 - WHAT ARE YOU, BY THE WAY? - I'M SWEDISH. 489 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:32,425 I GOT A SWEDE LAWYER? SHE'S GONNA GET EVERYTHING! 490 00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:34,827 YOU GOT A GOOD LAWYER. YOU GOT THE BEST LAWYER, LARRY. 491 00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:38,398 - I'M SORRY, BERG. - IT'S A SHANDA, LARRY. 492 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:41,601 I GOT SWEDED. 493 00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:44,637 SO DID YOU KNOW BERG WAS A SWEDE? 494 00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:46,606 I THOUGHT HE WAS JEWISH. HE SEEMED JEWISH. 495 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,708 WHEN HE FIRST MET ME, HE CALLED ME A BIG MACHER. 496 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,310 - HE SAID MACHER? - "MAHER," WAIT, THERE'S MORE. 497 00:21:51,411 --> 00:21:52,912 - WITH THAT PRONUNCIATION? - MACHER. 498 00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:55,648 - HE HAD THE WHOLE "CH". - WOW, HE'S SO DEVIOUS. 499 00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:57,650 AND THEN HE'D CALL ME MAYBE ONCE A MONTH 500 00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,652 AND ASK ME IF I WANTED TO GO FOR A NOSH. 501 00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,988 "COME ON, LET'S GO FOR A NOSH. IT'LL BE GOOD." 502 00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:05,024 I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, I'M NOT SIGNING ANY PAPERS UNTIL I GET A NEW LAWYER. 503 00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:06,626 THAT GUY'S GOT A SCAM GOING. 504 00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,327 OH, SEE THAT? 505 00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:10,262 - DID YOU JUST WIN? - YEAH. 506 00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:12,164 - GAME OVER AGAIN. - ( doorbell rings ) 507 00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:14,066 - HE JUST WON. - ( Larry snorts ) 508 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:17,570 - COME IN, IT'S OPEN. - L.D.! 509 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,239 GUESS WHO'S GETTING A DIVORCE. 510 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:23,242 - WHAT? - MARTIN NORTON FUNKHOUSER. 511 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:24,777 - REALLY? - AND IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU! 512 00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:27,079 THAT MAN AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT THE LONDON TRIP... 513 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,449 - YEAH? - ...I STARTED TO REALIZE, "WAIT A MINUTE. 514 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:32,284 IF I DID GO TO EUROPE WITHOUT HER, I'D COME BACK 515 00:22:32,385 --> 00:22:35,422 AND IT WOULD BE 20 MORE YEARS OF BOREDOM." 516 00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:38,758 SO I SAID TO NAN, "LOOK, LET'S GET A DIVORCE." 517 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,059 SHE SAID OKAY. 518 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:43,229 I'M GONNA BE SINGLE! 519 00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:45,064 - YOU AND ME! - WOW. 520 00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:46,466 - IS THAT GREAT? - MY MAN. 521 00:22:46,566 --> 00:22:48,034 CONGRATULATIONS. CONGRATULATIONS. 522 00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:50,403 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU GET A FUCKING DIVORCE? 523 00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:53,239 RIDE AROUND AND BUMP THE HORN AND SHIT LIKE MOTHERFUCKERS GETTING MARRIED. 524 00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:55,274 - WHAT A GREAT IDEA. - GOD DAMN RIGHT. 525 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:57,544 - PUT CANS ON YOUR CAR, BEEP YOUR HORN. - "JUST DIVORCED." 526 00:22:57,644 --> 00:22:59,912 - Larry: "JUST DIVORCED." - I'M EXCITED I'M SINGLE. 527 00:23:00,012 --> 00:23:02,014 GET OUT THERE AND GET SOME NEW ASS, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 528 00:23:02,114 --> 00:23:04,350 YOU DONE RAN THAT OTHER ASS IN THE GROUND, RIGHT? 529 00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:06,018 UH, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE LIKE THAT. 530 00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:08,020 YOU RAN THAT ASS IN THE GROUND AND YOU'RE MOVING ON, RIGHT? 531 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,089 I DIDN'T RUN ANY-- WE HAD A NICE MARRIAGE FOR 20 YEARS. 532 00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:13,025 - NO, YOU RAN THAT ASS IN THE GROUND. - I DON'T RUN PEOPLE'S ASS 533 00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:14,727 - IN THE GROUND. - ALL MEN DO. 534 00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:17,664 IT'S NOT A NEGATIVE THING TO RUN AN ASS IN THE GROUND. THAT'S ALL. 535 00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:19,766 Leon: YOU RAN THAT SHIT IN THE GROUD LIKE A RENT-A-CAR. 536 00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:21,868 - WHAT'S WITH YOU? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT'S WITH ME? 537 00:23:21,968 --> 00:23:24,671 - WHAT ARE YOU SO GLUM ABOUT? - IT'S JUST THAT EVERYBODY'S 538 00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:26,873 GETTING A CHANCE TO GET DIVORCED EXCEPT ME. 539 00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:29,275 YOU GET DIVORCED, YOU GET DIVORCED, 540 00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:30,877 YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO GET DIVORCED. 541 00:23:30,977 --> 00:23:33,379 EVEN THE OWNER OF THE DODGERS, O'DONNELL, HE GETS A DIVORCE. 542 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,214 Larry: SHIT, I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING. 543 00:23:35,314 --> 00:23:38,751 O'DONNELL'S GOT THE SWEDE. I SHOULD REALLY TELL HIM ABOUT BERG. 544 00:23:38,851 --> 00:23:41,087 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH BERG? - HE'S NOT A JEW. 545 00:23:41,187 --> 00:23:43,122 - HE'S A SWEDE. - HE IS? 546 00:23:43,222 --> 00:23:45,492 I WAS AT HIS HOUSE FOR HANUKAH. 547 00:23:47,326 --> 00:23:49,596 - HE'S A SWEDE? - A SWEDE. 548 00:23:49,696 --> 00:23:52,131 - YOU'RE KIDDING ME? - NO, HE'S A SWEDE. 549 00:23:52,231 --> 00:23:53,933 I JUST-- I MEAN-- 550 00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:56,603 I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T ADD UP ABOUT THAT GUY. 551 00:23:56,703 --> 00:23:58,805 - IT'S TRUE. - HE TOOK ME FOR A RIDE, THAT'S WHAT HE DID. 552 00:23:58,905 --> 00:24:01,173 - UNBELIEVABLE. - I DO APPRECIATE YOU 553 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,709 COMING IN HERE TO TELL ME THIS. 554 00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:04,611 I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO AT ALL. 555 00:24:04,711 --> 00:24:06,813 ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY DAUGHTER. 556 00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:09,348 - I FELT I HAD TO TELL YOU. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO NOW. 557 00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:12,018 I MEAN, I AM FIGHTING FOR EVERYTHING HERE. 558 00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:14,987 I COULD LOSE THIS ENTIRE ORGANIZATION. THIS WHOLE TEAM! 559 00:24:15,087 --> 00:24:17,824 - I GOT A LOT AT STAKE MYSELF. - ( sighs ) 560 00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:22,929 YOU KNOW WHAT? 561 00:24:23,029 --> 00:24:24,864 I GOT JUST THE GUY. 562 00:24:26,566 --> 00:24:29,536 - YOU SURE YOU'RE REALLY JEWISH? - I'M THE REAL DEAL. 563 00:24:36,843 --> 00:24:38,277 - HOW FUN IS THIS? - HOW GREAT IS THIS? 564 00:24:38,377 --> 00:24:39,746 TWO SINGLE GUYS AT A BALLGAME 565 00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:41,280 AND WE'RE SITTING IN THE OWNER'S BOX. 566 00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:42,782 I KNOW. HOW ABOUT THAT? 567 00:24:42,882 --> 00:24:44,951 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT STUPID REMARK YOU SAID TO ME 568 00:24:45,051 --> 00:24:47,554 - CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER. - ISN'T IT INCREDIBLE? 569 00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:49,255 OH, I LOVE YOU! HOW IS THAT LAWYER? 570 00:24:49,355 --> 00:24:51,257 - HIRIAM KATZ, HE'S FANTASTIC. - HE MUST BE GREAT. 571 00:24:51,357 --> 00:24:54,360 HE REDID MY ENTIRE DIVORCE SETTLEMENT. YOU'VE GOT TO USE HIM. 572 00:24:54,460 --> 00:24:55,862 - I WILL USE HIM. - NAMES PLEASE. 573 00:24:55,962 --> 00:24:59,699 LARRY DAVID, MARTY FUNKHOUSER. 574 00:24:59,799 --> 00:25:01,834 I'M SORRY, GENTLEMEN. YOUR NAMES ARE NOT ON THE LIST. 575 00:25:01,934 --> 00:25:04,537 NO NO NO. 576 00:25:04,637 --> 00:25:06,773 LARRY DAVID. I'M A FRIEND OF JOE O'DONNELL'S. 577 00:25:06,873 --> 00:25:09,308 OH, MR. O'DONNELL NO LONGER OWNS THE TEAM. 578 00:25:09,408 --> 00:25:11,644 - WHAT? - HE LOST IT IN THE DIVORCE 579 00:25:11,744 --> 00:25:13,546 SO HIS WIFE OWNS IT NOW. 580 00:25:13,646 --> 00:25:17,016 - HE LOST IT IN THE DIVORCE? - YES SIR. 581 00:25:17,116 --> 00:25:20,086 DIDN'T YOU RECOMMEND HIRIAM KATZ TO O'DONNELL? 582 00:25:20,186 --> 00:25:22,722 AND YOU USED HIRIAM KATZ FOR YOUR DIVORCE? 583 00:25:24,323 --> 00:25:26,458 OH MY GOD! HE'S MEETING WITH CHERYL'S LAWYERS RIGHT NOW! 584 00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:29,696 THEY'RE GONNA FINALIZE THE PAPERS. I'VE GOT TO GET OVER THERE. 585 00:25:34,967 --> 00:25:36,302 ( honks ) 586 00:25:36,402 --> 00:25:39,639 ( dialing ) 587 00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,943 - You've reached Hiriam Katz. - VOICEMAIL! 588 00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:46,078 THIS GUY DOESN'T HAVE AN ASSISTANT. 589 00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:48,147 - ( beeps ) - KATZ, IT'S LARRY. 590 00:25:48,247 --> 00:25:50,650 DON'T SIGN ANYTHING. I'M ON MY WAY UP TO YOUR OFFICE. 591 00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:02,461 ASSHOLE! YOU COST ME THE DODGERS. 592 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:03,996 ( groans ) 593 00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:07,834 ( moaning ) 594 00:26:07,934 --> 00:26:09,969 HE HIT ME. 595 00:26:14,540 --> 00:26:17,610 DON'T WORRY. I THINK I'VE GOT SOMETHING THAT WILL STOP THE BLEEDING. 596 00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:19,511 - I THINK IT'S WORKING. - IT'S DOING THE JOB. 597 00:26:19,612 --> 00:26:21,814 - THANK YOU SO MUCH. - I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE. 598 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:24,250 - LARRY? - TAKE CARE. 599 00:26:24,350 --> 00:26:27,419 WHAT IS IN YOUR NOSE? 600 00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:29,288 IT'S A TAMPON. 601 00:26:31,057 --> 00:26:33,826 WELL, I GOT HIT IN THE FACE. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? 602 00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:36,528 - IT STOPPED THE BLEEDING. - OKAY. 603 00:26:36,629 --> 00:26:39,632 UM, SO YOU KNOW, I JUST SIGNED THE PAPERS. 604 00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:41,500 AND I GOT THE HOUSE 605 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,503 SO YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO VACATE THE PREMISES. 606 00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:46,639 - WHAT? YOU GOT THE HOUSE? - WE SHOULD GO. 607 00:26:46,739 --> 00:26:48,540 YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET THE HOUSE! 608 00:26:48,641 --> 00:26:50,943 HE GAVE UP MY HOUSE, THAT IDIOT!? 609 00:26:51,043 --> 00:26:53,579 WHAT? CHERYL, THAT'S NOT FAIR! 610 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,948 CHERYL! 611 00:26:56,983 --> 00:26:58,517 EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE A SCISSOR? 612 00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,653 I NEED TO CUT THE STRING HERE. 613 00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:11,898 I DON'T WANT TO MOVE, MAN. I DON'T WANT TO UPROOT AGAIN 614 00:27:11,998 --> 00:27:14,533 AND I GOTTA MOVE TO A NEW HOUSE NOW. I LIKE THIS HOUSE, MAN. 615 00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:17,603 - YEAH, I LIKE IT TOO. - EVERYTHING I DID IN THIS HOUSE, MAN, IS A MEMORY TO ME. 616 00:27:17,704 --> 00:27:19,939 ALL THE BITCHES I HAD IN HERE, MAN. 617 00:27:20,039 --> 00:27:22,541 FUCKING TWO BITCHES IN YOUR BED. 618 00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:24,643 WHAT? 619 00:27:24,744 --> 00:27:25,978 FUCKING TWO BITCHES IN YOUR BED. 620 00:27:26,078 --> 00:27:27,980 YOU HAD SEX WITH TWO WOMEN IN MY BEDROOM? 621 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,582 FUCKING RIGHT I DID! HOW YOU GONNA FUCK BITCHES 622 00:27:30,683 --> 00:27:34,286 - IN A TWIN BED. - I DON'T WANT YOU HAVING SEX IN MY BED! 623 00:27:34,386 --> 00:27:37,724 YOU KNOW WHAT, LARRY? YOU DONE FUCKED THAT SHIT UP! YOU KNOW WHY? 624 00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:40,492 BECAUSE YOU GOT THAT BULLSHIT-ASS LAWYER WHO GOT US KICKED OUT OF HERE. 625 00:27:40,592 --> 00:27:43,129 YOU PICKED THAT FUCKING LAWYER. YOU FUCKING MY SHIT UP. 626 00:27:43,229 --> 00:27:45,765 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WE GOT A HALF HOUR TO GET OUT OF HERE. 627 00:27:45,865 --> 00:27:48,000 I SUGGEST YOU GO PACK UP AND BRING YOUR STUFF DOWN. 628 00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:50,402 - FUCK YOU, LARRY. - FUCK YOU, LEON. 629 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:52,271 ( doorbell rings ) 630 00:27:53,605 --> 00:27:55,007 HI, MR. LARRY DAVID, 631 00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:57,009 WE HAVE YOUR COOKIES THAT YOU ORDERED. 632 00:27:57,109 --> 00:27:58,811 - OH HO HO. - WE ARE HERE FOR OUR MONEY 633 00:27:58,911 --> 00:28:01,714 - THEN WE'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE. - OH, THAT'S VERY INTERESTING. 634 00:28:01,814 --> 00:28:03,816 I HAVE A VAGUE RECOLLECTION, 635 00:28:03,916 --> 00:28:05,584 CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, 636 00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,687 - OF CANCELING MY ORDER. - ( girls clamoring ) 637 00:28:08,788 --> 00:28:10,489 - YOU ALREADY ORDERED THEM. - REALLY? 638 00:28:10,589 --> 00:28:12,391 YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT NEWS FOR YOU. 639 00:28:12,491 --> 00:28:15,427 - I DON'T EVEN LIKE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. - ( shouting ) 640 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:18,998 ALL RIGHT, DON'T SCREAM AT ME. I'M NOT GONNA BE INTIMIDATED 641 00:28:19,098 --> 00:28:21,901 BY A BUNCH OF GIRL SCOUTS. I CAN TELL YOU THAT. 642 00:28:22,001 --> 00:28:24,737 OKAY, THIS DISCUSSION IS OVER. 643 00:28:24,837 --> 00:28:26,305 GOODBYE. GOODBYE. 644 00:28:26,405 --> 00:28:29,341 ( shouting, pounding ) 645 00:28:31,744 --> 00:28:34,747 ( groaning ) 646 00:28:34,847 --> 00:28:37,249 ( theme music playing ) 54110

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