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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,774 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:17,618 If sammi doesn't want to Take clarinet anymore, She doesn't want to. 3 00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:20,188 - I don't wanna push her. - you're the one who Pushed it, not me. 4 00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,656 - god, where's the tissues? - I don't know. 5 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:25,259 I'm having An allergy attack. 6 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:30,064 What is this? 7 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:34,768 What is this, jeff? Whose panties are these? 8 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,205 - uh... - what the fuck is this? 9 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,107 It's your car. What are these Doing in there? 10 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:41,542 All right, Pull the fuck over. 11 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,744 Pull over. 12 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:48,749 I really hate Shopping for pants. 13 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:52,653 - seriously, what's worse Than trying on pants? - exactly. 14 00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,089 I think those Are gonna look great Once they're hemmed. 15 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,158 - how do they feel? - good. 16 00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:00,561 - all right. - ( alarm blaring ) 17 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,630 What the hell's going-- What's-- what's this? 18 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,299 It's the fire alarm. Yeah, we need to leave. 19 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,000 But I left my pants In the dressing room. 20 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,270 Jesus. 21 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:16,110 Hey, What's going on? 22 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,112 Fire alarm. 23 00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:20,648 - that's it? - yeah, gotta be thorough. 24 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,817 - is that your name? - yeah. 25 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,153 - krupke? - mm-hmm. 26 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,955 - really? - yeah, matt krupke. 27 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,891 - you're officer krupke. - I am. 28 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,326 Familiar with "West side story"? 29 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,695 - no, sir. - what? 30 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:38,065 There's a character In "West side story" Named officer krupke. 31 00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,434 - okay. - you're officer krupke. 32 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,636 - you never heard The song? - no, sir. 33 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:45,173 * oh, officer krupke, What are we to do? * 34 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,341 * gee, officer krupke, Krup you. * 35 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,076 - you never heard that? - no. 36 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:50,578 - no? - no. 37 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,446 By the way, they wanted To say "Fuck you." 38 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,148 But in the '50s On broadway, 39 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,284 Sondheim, he couldn't Write "Fuck you." 40 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,386 So "Krup you" Is a substitute For "Fuck you." 41 00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:01,088 - mmm. - has anybody ever Said "Krup you"? 42 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,590 - no. - huh. 43 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,925 Some guy told me to go Fuck my face once. 44 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:07,461 He went to jail. 45 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:08,929 Okay. 46 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,864 How much longer? 47 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,133 - an hour, maybe two. - really? 48 00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,135 If tech wants To get in there, It could be two hours. 49 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,338 Are you kidding? I'm not gonna wait That long. 50 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,640 - okay, thank you. - thank you. 51 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:23,611 * dear kindly sergeant krupke, You gotta understand * 52 00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:26,514 * it's just our bringin' upke That gets us outta hand * 53 00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:29,283 * our mothers all are junkies, Our fathers all are drunks * 54 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:32,186 * golly, moses, Naturally we're punks * 55 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:35,756 * gee, officer krupke, We're very upset... * 56 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,465 ( whispering ) Hold on, hold on. 57 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:47,235 Come here. Come here, shh. 58 00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:48,902 I got in a lot Of trouble with susie. 59 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,839 I need your help So bad. 60 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,941 She found A pair of panties 61 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,476 In my glove compartment. 62 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,778 Oy vey iz mir. Are you kidding me? 63 00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,214 - no, I am not kidding you. - how the hell did you do that? 64 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,383 I forget they were Even in there. I forgot-- 65 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,352 - but here's where I need your help. - man, oh man. 66 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,854 I told her they were Your panties. 67 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,259 - so you're good? - what do you mean They're my panties? 68 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,060 No no, I told her that They're your panties, 69 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,264 That you like wearing Women's panties. 70 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,533 - what? - yeah, that's What I told her. 71 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,669 I told her you like Wearing women's panties. 72 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,571 Where the fuck did You come up with that? What does that mean? 73 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,639 I think it's pretty Brilliant, actually. 74 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,341 You're gonna cover For me, right? 75 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,277 Please please please? You're gonna cover for me? 76 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,279 They're your panties, Right? 77 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,046 I-I can't-- I can't go in there. 78 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,982 - why not? - I'm embarrassed. 79 00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:37,351 - nothing to be Embarrassed about. - I've got panties on. 80 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:40,053 - only she knows. - how am I supposed To act now? 81 00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,722 Normal. Panties up here, not-- 82 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,223 You don't have To really wear them. 83 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,725 You just know You've got them on 84 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,395 And maybe you're a little More comfortable than normal. 85 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:50,531 A little more at ease. Maybe a little-- Little kinder. 86 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,533 - help me please. - this is really odd. 87 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,803 - but we're pals. I would do it for you. - this is very odd. 88 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,938 Odd yet brilliant. 89 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,840 Completely And utterly brilliant. 90 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,476 My best one ever maybe. 91 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,314 - all right. - you're a friend. 92 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,449 You're a fucking friend. 93 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,851 Thank you. Oh, thank you. Come on. 94 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,054 Susie: God. 95 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,989 Virginia: Yeah, I bet, Exactly. 96 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:20,027 Well, is the architecture Not happening right now? 97 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,862 - hey, larry. - oh, hey, jeff. 98 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:25,333 - larry: hi, hey. - dennis: hello hello hello. 99 00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,435 Hey, virginia, hi. 100 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:29,437 - dennis, hello. - it's nice to see you. It's a pleasure. 101 00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:32,373 - how's the golf game? - good good, yeah. 102 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:35,075 Larry, you have A security tag On your pants. 103 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,844 - oh, yeah. - ( virginia laughs ) 104 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,145 That's weird. Why? 105 00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,814 Well, virginia, If you must know, 106 00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:43,584 I was at banana republic And a fire alarm went off. 107 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,686 - virginia: uh-huh. - and I was just waiting 108 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,221 And the store didn't Open back up, so I just Thought I'd take off. 109 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:50,223 But you know What was amazing, 110 00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:51,992 When I was outside The store, 111 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,862 I was talking To an officer 112 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,163 And his name Was krupke. 113 00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:58,832 - uh-huh. - and he'd never heard 114 00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,668 Of the character From "West side story." 115 00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:03,136 - isn't that unbelievable? - unbelievable. 116 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,505 Yeah, I had to sing The song for him. 117 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,006 * we're disturbed, We're disturbed * 118 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,508 * we're the most Disturbed * 119 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,009 * like we're Psychologically-- * 120 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,345 All right, all right. Enough enough. 121 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,113 I know all the lyrics From "West side story." 122 00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,048 - really? Fascinating. - yeah. 123 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,218 - virginia: amazing. - I know the whole thing. It's interesting. 124 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,887 Sometimes you think You know somebody, 125 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,923 But you really don't Know them at all. 126 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:26,259 Hey, larry, I'm auditioning For the reunion show, 127 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,061 For the "Seinfeld" Reunion show tomorrow 128 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,230 For the part Of george's ex-wife. 129 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,099 Dennis: She'd be great. 130 00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,702 - don't you think She'd be great? - I really hope I get it. 131 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,004 Huh, okay. 132 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:38,372 So before Larry walked in, 133 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,040 You were telling me The story of how you met. 134 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,542 Go ahead. I wanna hear. 135 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,043 - it was great. - larry: all right, okay. 136 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,978 - I was building This strip mall-- - hold it a sec. 137 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:47,080 I really have A hard time 138 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,616 With "How we met" Stories, okay? 139 00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:50,484 - so I'm gonna-- - well, I wanna hear it. 140 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,420 - we don't have to tell it. - larry: no, you can hear it. 141 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,087 I find it cloying And annoying. 142 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,556 Well, fine. I wanna hear it. 143 00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,391 They were in the middle, I wanna hear it. 144 00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,326 Why don't you go Take a walk around The block, okay? 145 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,562 By the time you're back, They'll be finished. 146 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,163 - okay, fine. - fine, bye. 147 00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:04,632 - bye. - all right, so? 148 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,667 I was building A strip mall In hesperia-- 149 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,469 Let me guess How it ends. 150 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,338 - you get together In-- in the end? - bye, larry. 151 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:14,842 - so you were the architect... - and she was into real estat. 152 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,980 - lemonade. - mister, come here. 153 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,215 - we have the best lemonade. - you wanna buy some lemonade? 154 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,217 Hi, selling Lemonade, huh? 155 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,286 - yep. - good for you. 156 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,955 Good for you. You're entrepreneurs. 157 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,157 Hey, mister, did you Steal those pants? 158 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:31,759 No no no, I-- I didn't steal them. 159 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:34,227 An alarm went off In the store and I Had to leave the store. 160 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,229 I mean, don't they Want your pants back? 161 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:39,166 I have to bring them Back and I'm going to, But I didn't steal. 162 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,468 Anyway, I'll have Some lemonade. 163 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,135 - how much is it? - a buck. 164 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,804 A buck? Fine. 165 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,707 Thank you very much. Here you go. 166 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,480 Are you kidding me? 167 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,314 Oh my god. This is awful. 168 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,584 I'm not even joking. Who made that? 169 00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,218 - us. It's beautiful. - you made it? 170 00:06:58,318 --> 00:06:59,853 - give me my money back. - kids: no. 171 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,822 - girl: you can't. - I want my dollar back. 172 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,857 Just get out of here If you don't like it. 173 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,059 Fine, I'll get out. It's terrible. 174 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,394 - you stink. - you stink! 175 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:08,729 I'm gonna report You guys for that. 176 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,030 - boy: go ahead! - I'm going to. 177 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,565 - boy: turd! - girl: loser! 178 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:16,069 - bald asshole! - girl: get outta here! Mom! 179 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,072 ( knocking ) 180 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,208 Couldn't stand another "How we met" story? 181 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:22,910 - is that it? - no, I couldn't. 182 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:25,278 Oh, god. 183 00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,014 What are you Looking at? 184 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,949 What? I'm not looking At anything. 185 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,184 - what are you, self-conscious? - no, you're looking me over. 186 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,221 - I was not looking You over, paranoid. - ( knocking ) 187 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,357 Don't know what You're talking about. 188 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,292 - hi. - hi, susie. 189 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,562 Excuse me. Excuse me. 190 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:44,498 Are you the gentleman Who was just talking 191 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:47,000 To my kids out there By the lemonade stand? 192 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,837 I was by the lemonade stand Talking to some youngsters. 193 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:53,373 Because apparently Some guy came over 194 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,975 And started making fun Of their lemonade. 195 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,611 - yeah? - was that you, perchance? 196 00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,447 - guilty. - what-- what's Wrong with you? 197 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:02,182 I think they deserve An adult critique. 198 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,718 If they're gonna charge A dollar and give you This much lemonade... 199 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,654 I felt a little Ripped off. 200 00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:08,822 - you knew it was Kids at a stand... - right, it's kids. 201 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,991 ...Selling lemonade. Your choice. 202 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,927 The stand needs A little supervision, That's all I'm saying. 203 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,063 You know what? They're in that Little kid bubble. 204 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,199 They're buds, And you just-- you know, Just piss all over it. 205 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,468 I didn't piss On the buds. 206 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:23,336 No, I helped the buds. I'm helping the buds grow. 207 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,873 - I'm good for buds. - stay away from The buds, larry. 208 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:29,476 - may I be excused? - susie: get the hell Out of here. 209 00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:31,945 Let me tell You something. Yeah, you. 210 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,582 You talk to my kids again, Calling the cops. 211 00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:37,017 Duly noted. 212 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,793 Hi. Virginia sloan. 213 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,561 - please sign in. - okay. 214 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:50,397 - virginia. - cheryl. 215 00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:51,732 Oh my god. 216 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,466 You're auditioning? 217 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,935 Yeah. 218 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,137 For the same part, How strange. 219 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,873 - oh my god, are you Here for amanda? - yeah, I am. 220 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,675 - hmm. - that is so weird. 221 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,678 Why would you Have to audition? It's based on you. 222 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:07,014 Well, you know, 223 00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:09,149 I think it's a part-- Part of the process that-- 224 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,351 - I don't know. - that's weird that He would make you. 225 00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,020 Larry was Explaining it to me. 226 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,689 - hey, how's dennis? - he's really good. 227 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,090 - is he? - he's really good, yeah. 228 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,692 You know, actually, I'm meeting him 229 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,261 For lunch later today. 230 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,997 - do you want To maybe join us? - I would love to. 231 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,366 - yeah? - yeah, catch up With you guys. 232 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,702 - I haven't Seen you in forever. - that would be great. 233 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,771 - I hate auditioning. - mark: cheryl, you're next. 234 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,740 - okay, I'm next. - good luck. 235 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,675 - good luck to you. - you don't need any luck. 236 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,845 - you're gonna get it. - well, who knows? 237 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,513 Cheryl's here To read for amanda. 238 00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:41,915 - jerry: oh. - hi. 239 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,417 - jerry: hi, cheryl. - hey. 240 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,919 - this is... - how are you doing? 241 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,420 - hey, I'm good. - why don't you go? 242 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,722 - go ahead. - okay. 243 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,423 - all right. - all right. 244 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:51,825 - hey. - hey, larry. 245 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,795 This is weird. Oh my god. 246 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,797 What's going on With that? 247 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,666 Oh... 248 00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,100 Well, I was in A store yesterday. 249 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,269 I was going to-- I was just trying these on 250 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,437 And then an alarm Went off. 251 00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,373 We all went out Of the store, 252 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,208 And I didn't feel Like waiting around. 253 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,777 So I'm gonna Return them today. 254 00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,945 Why didn't you just wear Your own pants today? 255 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,782 'cause then I'd have To carry these around. 256 00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,383 Now I don't have To carry anything. 257 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:18,752 He wears the pants Instead of carrying The pants. 258 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,620 - that's smart. - yeah. 259 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,255 - shall we Get started? - yes. 260 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,224 Why hold a hat When you could just Put it on your head? 261 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,993 - wear a hat. - yeah, exactly. 262 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,828 But it's not a hat, It's a pair of pants With a security-- 263 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,429 - so what? - okay. 264 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,432 And so, I'm on an airplane And I'm on the phone. 265 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,567 - right. - ahem, anytime? 266 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,136 Ready? Hello? 267 00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,071 George? Oh my god. 268 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,973 Honey, you couldn't Call at a worse time. 269 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,842 - I got the tivo guy here. - oh my god, george, 270 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,844 We're going through A really big storm Right now. 271 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,478 Hold on, honey. What? You need the warranty? 272 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,114 Honey, let me Ask you a question. 273 00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:49,249 Do you know where The warranty card is On the tivo? 274 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:51,018 No no, I don't. I-- 275 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,920 Hey, in case something Happens to me-- 276 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,788 I mean, it's really Bad up here-- 277 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,924 - is it in the kitchen Drawer by any chance? - what? 278 00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,692 I'm sorry, Can't hear you. What is that? 279 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,027 What did you say? 280 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,129 George, I just wanna Tell you in case-- 281 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:04,431 No, not you, Honey, the tivo guy. Hold on one second. 282 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:07,367 Cheryl: For some reason If I don't make it-- 283 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,869 The tivo guy Wants to know The name of the guy 284 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,904 Who installed This thing. 285 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,206 - I don't know. I don't know his name. - ( larry laughing ) 286 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,009 - was it tom or something? - I just want you to know-- 287 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,712 Or don, Something like that? Maybe bill or james? 288 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,380 - oh my god. - wait wait, don't go. 289 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,015 - what? - no. Oh, jeez. Honey, no, I'm sorry. 290 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,484 You know what? The tivo guy's gonna go. 291 00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:28,155 - I'm never gonna Get him again. - it's just a tivo guy. 292 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:29,957 Mark: Honey, call me back In 10 minutes, okay? 293 00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:32,525 - what? - I'm sorry, sweetheart. I love you. 294 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:36,096 George. George! 295 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,531 - mark: nice. - that's it. 296 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,433 - mark: great. - very good. 297 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,870 Aw, it's a little Nerve-racking in here With you guys. 298 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,504 - that was great. - it's the same For everybody. 299 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,073 - that was great. - yeah. 300 00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,308 - okay. - mark: I think You did great. 301 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,377 - thank you. - that was really good. You're funny. 302 00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:51,745 - all right. - great work. 303 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,280 - thank you, mark. - thanks for coming in. 304 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,615 - thanks, guys. So we'll talk later? - yeah. 305 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,384 - just a formality, Right? - yeah. 306 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:58,986 Okay. Uh-- 307 00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:00,788 - well done, cheryl. - thanks, jerry. 308 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,190 - I'll see you. - jerry: fantastic. 309 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,058 - thanks, cheryl. - thank you, mark. 310 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:06,960 - good to see you. Bye. - okay, thanks. 311 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,262 - she's pretty good. - pretty good? 312 00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,598 - yeah, she's pretty good. - that was insane, okay? 313 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:13,733 I mean, that was-- That was perfect. 314 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,535 - perfect. - yeah, she was good. 315 00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,071 - really natural. Nice solid reading. - everything we want. 316 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:21,108 I knew she was good, Never knew she was That good. 317 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,844 I mean, she was great. That was a great audition. 318 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,179 - larry: great. - should we move on? 319 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,615 I think we can Close up shop, To tell you the truth. 320 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,217 Well, I think We should see Everybody. 321 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:34,121 I know, but, you know, No one's gonna beat that. 322 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,323 Honey, in case Something happens To me-- 323 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:37,991 I mean, It's really bad. 324 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,127 - is it in the kitchen Drawer by any chance? - what? 325 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,995 I'm sorry, Can't hear you. What is that? 326 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,231 George, I just wanna Tell you just in case-- 327 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,033 Mark: No, not you, honey, The tivo guy. 328 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,201 For some reason I don't make it home-- 329 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,769 The tivo guy Wants to know The name of the guy 330 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,271 Who installed This thing. 331 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,073 Ugh, I don't know. I don't know his name. 332 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,375 Mark: Was it tom Or something? 333 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,411 - I just-- I need you-- - or don, something like that? 334 00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,847 Maybe bill or james? 335 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,148 Oh, no no. Jeez, honey, I'm sorry. 336 00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,083 You know what? The tivo guy's gonna go. 337 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:06,086 - I'm never gonna Get him again. - it is just a tivo guy. 338 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,288 Mark: Honey, call me back In 10 minutes, okay? 339 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,657 - virginia: what? - I'm sorry, sweetheart. I love you. 340 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:13,093 George! 341 00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,763 - that was great. - really good. 342 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,098 - really great. - no, it wasn't. 343 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,900 Jerry: Really great, virginia. Thank you. 344 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,835 - ugh, I hope it was okay. - mark: it was great. 345 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,503 I'm terrible At auditioning. 346 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,805 - no no. - it was really good. 347 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,640 Jerry: Thank you. A pleasure. 348 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:30,343 - it was really Nice to meet you. - nice to meet you. 349 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,846 - bye. - bye. 350 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,147 See you later. Great job. 351 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,383 - thanks. See you. - bye. 352 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,152 - wow. - nice. 353 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,121 You can see Why she's gotten So much work. 354 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:44,724 - yeah, she's terrific. - that was like, "Hello, pro." 355 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,159 You know, she-- She was good. 356 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,561 She was good, But honestly-- 357 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,164 I know probably You think 358 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,033 It's hard for me To be objective here, 359 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,667 But I thought Cheryl was better. 360 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,236 I mean, This is cheryl, This part. 361 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,972 She was on that plane. She lived this part. That was her. 362 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,308 Who cares who was On the plane? 363 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,977 It's not a real plane. It's not a real show. It's not a real story. 364 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,913 You know, When we shoot this, 365 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:07,580 They're gonna cut The plane in half. 366 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,116 It's not even gonna Be a whole plane. 367 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:12,285 I believed cheryl more Than I believed virginia. 368 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,922 Well, a girl like that, If you can get her, 369 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,623 It's like "Let's get on board 370 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,625 The virginia sloan, Toot toot. 371 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:19,960 Next stop, comedy town. 372 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,429 - well... - jerry: so it's-- it's... 373 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,298 I don't know what to tell you. We're at loggerheads here. 374 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,734 Jerry: Well, I guess we're in A tie-break situation then. 375 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,369 Mark? 376 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:32,005 Look, I think cheryl Really set the bar At the time, 377 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:35,775 But you cannot deny That that audition Was outstanding. 378 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,577 I'd go with virginia. 379 00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,679 - she's an incredible Actress. - incredible. 380 00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,282 I can't believe She's even reading For something like this. 381 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,783 Yeah. 382 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,318 You know, It was amazing. 383 00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,854 Jerry: Look, believe me, You probably 384 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:50,223 Are gonna Be better off 385 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:53,826 Because working with Someone who you were Involved with, 386 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:55,628 You know, There could be Some tension there. 387 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,764 You'll be glad that-- 388 00:14:57,864 --> 00:15:00,968 That there's no chance Of anything happening With you and cheryl. 389 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:03,036 You'll see. Don't worry, Cheryl will be fine. 390 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,973 You're gonna be Very happy. 391 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,108 All right, we'll go With virginia. 392 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,443 Good, all right, We'll go with... 393 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,548 ( alarm beeping ) 394 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,954 Clerk: Have a nice day. 395 00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,255 - hi. - hey. 396 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,590 - welcome back. - you remember me? 397 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,358 I remember you From the fire. 398 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,329 - my pants were left In the dressing room. - they were? 399 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,364 'cause I couldn't hang around Till the store opened. 400 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,333 And I need to pay For the ones I'm wearing. 401 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,235 Um... 402 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:38,638 I don't see-- They're not-- They're not here. 403 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,473 They're not here, So... 404 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,475 What are you-- How could they Not be there? 405 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,612 Every night they Completely clean out The dressing room, 406 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,614 And anything That's in there They put it in here 407 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,383 In the lost and found And it's not-- It's not here. 408 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,920 - so you've lost my pants? - I'm-- I'm sorry, They're gone. 409 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:58,191 So how would you like To pay for those? 410 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:03,163 Well, how could I pay for the pants 411 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:06,066 If you lost my pants? That doesn't seem fair. 412 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,767 First of all, We didn't lose them. They're gone. 413 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,836 - there's a difference Between lost and gone? - yes. 414 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,239 - lost is different Than gone. - they're lost and gone. 415 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,974 If they're lost, They'd be here in The lost and found. 416 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,443 They're gone and that's The difference. 417 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,611 No, if they were lost, They wouldn't be there. 418 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,347 They'd be lost, Which they are. 419 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:23,250 Okay, we have a sign In the fitting room That says that 420 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,185 We're not responsible For any lost items. 421 00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:28,321 Good for you. I got a sign at My house, okay? 422 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,024 It says "If somebody Takes your pants, You take theirs." 423 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,393 - that's my sign. - that's a stupid Made-up sign. 424 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,862 That doesn't exist. Nobody has a sign Like that. 425 00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:37,430 Of course I don't Have a sign like that. 426 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,566 I just made it up For the purposes of This discussion. 427 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,302 - it's obvious I made it up. - I don't know what You believe. 428 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,371 You might believe These things you say. 429 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:46,139 So you might believe That I put up a sign In my bedroom that says 430 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,840 "If you take my pants, I take yours"? 431 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,909 So it's not That unfathomable. 432 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,278 Okay, you have To replace my pants. 433 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,313 I'm not gonna pay For these pants. 434 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,915 No, 'cause you're Gonna walk around with A security tag on that 435 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,750 And someone's gonna Arrest you or something. 436 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,219 It's like A scarlet letter. 437 00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:00,987 I'm happy to wear The scarlet letter. 438 00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:03,123 - call me hester. - I won't call you hester. 439 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,358 - call me hester. - I won't call you hester. 440 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,394 You're not-- Sir, you cannot leave With those pants. 441 00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:09,129 - really? - ( alarm beeping ) 442 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:12,232 It's gonna Follow you around, That sound. 443 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,536 - larry. - hi. 444 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:19,739 - did you just set off The alarm in there? - yeah, I-I did. 445 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:22,975 What are you doing? I thought you were gonna Get your other pants. 446 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,844 They-- they don't Have my other pants. 447 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:28,148 They lost them, So I took these. 448 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,783 What did everybody say About the audition? 449 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:34,487 - um... - oh, no. 450 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:37,290 - I wasn't good. - no, you were great. 451 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,726 - you weren't good, You were great. - oh, god. 452 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,494 But I don't know. 453 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:44,397 Jerry wants to Give it to virginia. 454 00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:48,401 I'm so sorry. 455 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,438 - I thought this Was a formality. - I thought so too. 456 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:52,905 I thought it was A done deal. 457 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,474 - I thought so too. - oh, gosh. 458 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:58,311 - and I'm sorry. I apologize. - virginia got it? 459 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,447 I mean, she'll be-- She'll be great. 460 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,615 - I'm sure she's thrilled. - she'll be okay. She's not you. 461 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,884 I know, but I'm glad That she got it if I didn't get it. 462 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,386 - that's good. - ugh. 463 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,054 We actually All got together, 464 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:11,991 Dennis and virginia And me, and had lunch. 465 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,426 Got a little crazy, Actually. 466 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:17,230 Dennis, after a few Glasses of wine... 467 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:20,400 Oh, you know, virginia Went to the bathroom 468 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:24,070 And he asked me If I was interested In a menage a trois. 469 00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:27,607 I mean, I was-- 470 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,342 I mean, I was A little flattered. 471 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,011 - I just thought You'd find it funny. - funny? 472 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,347 - that's funny. - that's funny? 473 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,649 I don't find That funny at all. Who does he think he is? 474 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:39,319 - first of all, You're my ex-wife, okay? - okay. 475 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,020 If you're gonna have A menage a trois With anybody, 476 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,489 It's gonna be with me, Not with him. 477 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:45,492 Why would I want to be In a menage a trois With you? 478 00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:48,361 Well, you wouldn't. But if you're going To do it, 479 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,430 I'd prefer That it would be With me, that's all. 480 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,665 Okay. 481 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:56,803 - he was serious? - yeah, he was serious. 482 00:18:56,903 --> 00:19:00,273 Yeah yeah. 483 00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,054 Yes, it's more money. 484 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,823 It's a lot more money, But I can do it for you. 485 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,358 Hang on. Yeah. 486 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,360 Look, I'll meet you In 20 minutes, all right? 487 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,995 Right there at the site. Hi, larry, what's up? 488 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,964 You asked my wife To be in a threesome? 489 00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:27,367 - wife? - yes. 490 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,369 - you mean ex-wife. - whatever. 491 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,438 - there's a difference. - no, there is no difference. 492 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:34,040 You don't need To concern yourself With the difference, okay? 493 00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:36,276 All right, fine. 494 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:42,081 Yes, I asked Your ex-wife 495 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:45,352 If she would like To be in a threesome With my current wife. 496 00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,153 - what is wrong with you? - what's it to you, larry? 497 00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:48,855 - what's it to me? - yeah. 498 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,423 Because I-I have Feelings for her 499 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,091 And I don't need you To defile her, okay? 500 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,693 I would not Be defiling her. 501 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,395 Whatever two people do, Or three people do, 502 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:56,929 In the privacy Of their own homes Is their own business. 503 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,531 Yeah, I've heard That bullshit. 504 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,300 She's not interested In doing anything 505 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,469 In the privacy Of your home, okay? 506 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,871 - oh, really? - yeah, really. 507 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,172 That remains to be seen. 508 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,140 What does that mean? 509 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:11,911 Larry, just because Cheryl is curious 510 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,180 Doesn't mean You have any right To get mad at me, okay? 511 00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:16,082 - chill out. - curious? 512 00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,017 - did you say curious? - curious. 513 00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:20,320 Larry: What are you Talking about? 514 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,230 - hey. - hey. 515 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,869 - what are you doing? - nothing. 516 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,105 What do you mean nothing? What's all this fidget? 517 00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,607 What are you Talking about? 518 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,909 I'm talking about Your underwear. 519 00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,210 Uncomfortable Or something? 520 00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:47,079 I have a little problem With my underwear. 521 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,748 All of a sudden Out of nowhere? 522 00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:51,484 - what, do you have A new brand or something? - yeah, I do. 523 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,185 Really? Where'd you buy them? 524 00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:54,987 - online. - online? 525 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,223 That's a load of shit. You don't know how to Use a computer. 526 00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:59,759 The last man on earth, But you don't know how To use a computer. 527 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,161 - how do you buy it online? - my assistant buys it for me. 528 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,196 Oh, really? From what website? 529 00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,966 - what site does She buy it from? - hi hi hi. 530 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,436 - larry and I gotta Talk about some stuff. - yeah, I bet you do. 531 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:12,705 You always have to Talk about some stuff. 532 00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:17,610 Clearly she is not Believing a word of this. 533 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,747 - I thought she was Buying it at first. - she's not buying it. 534 00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,749 I watched The whole thing. What are you doing? 535 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:25,418 - it's crazy. - I'm doing the best I can, you know. 536 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,654 I'm-- I'm trying to play Like slight transvestite. 537 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,656 - slight transvestite? - yes. 538 00:21:29,756 --> 00:21:32,725 It's a comfort thing. Don't add a transvestite Level to this. 539 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:35,562 A guy who wears Women's underwear Is-- is part tranny. 540 00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:37,229 - he's not part tranny. - he's part tranny. 541 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,532 No, you're crazy. He wants comfort. 542 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,200 You're comfortable, That's it. 543 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,969 You're larry david And you like comfort 544 00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:44,671 In women's panties, All right? 545 00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:47,006 - simple. - no, it's not so simple. It's not so simple. 546 00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:49,041 - shh shh! - I don't know how To play that. 547 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,544 - I like the comfort Of woman's panties. - that's it, that's all. 548 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,480 - how do you play-- - ask me a question. 549 00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:56,549 - where do you get Your underwear? - many different places. 550 00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:59,486 Stop overacting, Just keep it on The down, okay? 551 00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:01,721 Come on. All right? 552 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,856 You're larry david. Who are you? 553 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:06,158 - I'm larry david. - and what do you Happen to enjoy? 554 00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:08,995 - I happen to enjoy Wearing women's panties. - perfect, that's it. 555 00:22:09,095 --> 00:22:11,263 - I'm very Comfortable with that. - very comfortable. 556 00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:12,965 Listen, I got Big fucking news. 557 00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:14,567 Huge. You ready for this? 558 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:18,170 I got a call from virginia. She can't do the part. 559 00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,973 She's in a neck brace. 560 00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:22,709 - you're kidding. - no. 561 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:25,545 - oh my god. - yes, and you know What that means. 562 00:22:25,645 --> 00:22:27,614 - cheryl's gonna do the part. - cheryl's gonna do the part. 563 00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:30,550 - this is fantastic. - yes, it's unbelievable. 564 00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:32,785 What-- what happened? 565 00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:34,787 She wouldn't tell me. I said, "What happened?" 566 00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:36,823 And she said, "It's not important." 567 00:22:36,923 --> 00:22:40,059 - hmm. - yeah. 568 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:43,062 - interesting. - what? 569 00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:46,265 - as far as I know... - yeah? 570 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:50,002 - ...There's only two ways You can injure your neck. - mm-hmm. 571 00:22:50,102 --> 00:22:52,805 - one is a car accident. - yeah. 572 00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:55,141 - the other's cunnilingus. - mm-hmm. 573 00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:56,843 If it wasn't A car accident, 574 00:22:56,943 --> 00:23:00,146 She injured her neck Going down on cheryl. 575 00:23:00,246 --> 00:23:02,114 - cheryl? Oh my god. - yes! 576 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,150 - they had a menage a trois. - you don't know that. 577 00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:07,420 It could've been A car accident. You don't know. 578 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,055 Let's check her car. 579 00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:10,957 All right, Let's check her car. 580 00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,192 - all right, who are you? - I'm larry david. 581 00:23:13,292 --> 00:23:14,961 And what do you Happen to enjoy? 582 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:17,497 - I happen to enjoy Wearing women's panties. - let's go. 583 00:23:24,704 --> 00:23:26,238 - ( toys clatter ) - hey. 584 00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:27,674 What are you, An idiot? 585 00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:30,643 - I didn't-- sorry. - ouch. 586 00:23:36,048 --> 00:23:38,284 - it's clean. - clean. 587 00:23:38,384 --> 00:23:39,819 See anything? 588 00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:42,088 I don't see Any damage at all. 589 00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:49,195 Nothing. 590 00:23:49,295 --> 00:23:52,732 - cheryl. - cunnilingus. 591 00:23:52,832 --> 00:23:55,201 - ( dog barking ) - look out. 592 00:24:06,513 --> 00:24:09,549 So... 593 00:24:09,649 --> 00:24:11,984 I have some news. 594 00:24:12,084 --> 00:24:16,388 Virginia can't Do the part. 595 00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:17,857 You're playing George's ex-wife. 596 00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:21,160 I'm gonna play George's ex-wife? 597 00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:22,829 Are you kidding me? 598 00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:25,431 - congratulations. - and everybody's On board with this? 599 00:24:25,532 --> 00:24:28,134 - jerry-- Jerry said yes... - yeah. 600 00:24:28,234 --> 00:24:30,102 - ...And you talked it Over and-- - yeah. 601 00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:32,739 I can't believe you Didn't call me as soon As you heard the news. 602 00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:35,675 - I wanted to, You know, save it. - this is so fantastic. 603 00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:39,278 - huh? - so I can tell My mom and everybody? 604 00:24:39,378 --> 00:24:41,047 Tell all your family. Tell them all, yeah. 605 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:43,616 - and mention me When you tell them. - I will mention you. 606 00:24:43,716 --> 00:24:45,284 That's unbelievable. Thank you. 607 00:24:45,384 --> 00:24:47,820 - I kinda put The whole thing together. - thank you, larry. 608 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,590 Wow, so what happened With virginia? 609 00:24:50,690 --> 00:24:53,325 Why can't she do it? 610 00:24:53,425 --> 00:24:56,663 What an interesting Question. 611 00:24:57,730 --> 00:24:59,331 Why can't she do it? 612 00:24:59,431 --> 00:25:01,534 Well... 613 00:25:01,634 --> 00:25:05,437 It seems as if virginia Hurt her neck. 614 00:25:05,538 --> 00:25:06,906 - mmm. - ooh. 615 00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:09,976 - how did she Hurt her neck? - ( laughs ) 616 00:25:11,377 --> 00:25:12,945 Very good, very good. 617 00:25:13,045 --> 00:25:15,815 - what? - you're good. You're good. 618 00:25:15,915 --> 00:25:17,483 I don't know what You're talking about. 619 00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:19,285 You're gonna do Very well in this part. 620 00:25:19,385 --> 00:25:22,488 - how did she hurt her neck? - how did she hurt her neck? 621 00:25:22,589 --> 00:25:25,124 - we all know... - mm-hmm. 622 00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:28,561 ...There's only Two ways a person Can injure their neck. 623 00:25:28,661 --> 00:25:30,329 One is a car accident. 624 00:25:30,429 --> 00:25:31,898 And she was not In a car accident 625 00:25:31,998 --> 00:25:33,700 Because I checked The car. 626 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,604 - okay. - the other Is cunnilingus. 627 00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:40,740 And I submit 628 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,843 She performed it On you in a threesome. 629 00:25:45,244 --> 00:25:48,447 - come on. - what are you Talking about? 630 00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:49,882 Listen, we're adults. 631 00:25:49,982 --> 00:25:51,584 - let's just Get past this. - oh my god. 632 00:25:51,684 --> 00:25:54,053 Because I told you about Dennis and the three-way. 633 00:25:54,153 --> 00:25:55,922 - please, stop. - there are two ways To injure-- 634 00:25:56,022 --> 00:25:58,024 There are other ways To hurt your neck, larry, 635 00:25:58,124 --> 00:25:59,726 Besides having To go down on someone. 636 00:25:59,826 --> 00:26:01,427 - that's ridiculous. - name one. 637 00:26:01,527 --> 00:26:03,095 - you could-- painting. - painting? 638 00:26:03,195 --> 00:26:06,633 - ugh. - you know, I never saw Michelangelo in a brace. 639 00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:09,035 ( cell phone ringing ) 640 00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:13,205 - hello? - she doesn't believe me. She doesn't believe me. 641 00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:15,007 She's gonna leave me. She's gonna leave me, man. 642 00:26:15,107 --> 00:26:17,076 - I'm fucked! - all right, calm down. 643 00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:18,878 She still thinks The panties are mine. 644 00:26:18,978 --> 00:26:21,648 Susie: Jeffrey, where are you? 645 00:26:21,748 --> 00:26:23,816 I'll be right there. 646 00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:25,384 Think of something, All right? 647 00:26:25,484 --> 00:26:27,053 Come on, man, I need your help! 648 00:26:27,153 --> 00:26:29,588 Okay, you know what? I have an idea. 649 00:26:29,689 --> 00:26:31,023 - really? - I do. 650 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,059 - come over right now. - it could work. 651 00:26:33,159 --> 00:26:35,628 Man, fuckin' panties. 652 00:26:35,728 --> 00:26:37,664 - I'm a fuckin' idiot. - okay, I'm coming over. 653 00:26:37,764 --> 00:26:42,134 * gee, officer krupke, We're very upset * 654 00:26:42,234 --> 00:26:44,837 * we never had the love That every child oughta get * 655 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:48,875 * oh, officer krupke, What are we to do? * 656 00:26:48,975 --> 00:26:52,979 * gee, officer krupke, Krup you. * 657 00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:55,081 - that's-- That's the same guy. - it is? 658 00:26:55,181 --> 00:26:57,483 - boy: he used A bad word, mom. - oh my god. 659 00:26:57,583 --> 00:27:00,186 What a jerk. 660 00:27:02,254 --> 00:27:04,857 It's a good plan, But it's just gotta Be natural. 661 00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:06,826 You can't just-- you know, It's gotta be natural. 662 00:27:06,926 --> 00:27:08,661 - I understand that. - okay. 663 00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:10,863 - jeff? - yeah? 664 00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:12,899 Virginia got In a really bad Car accident. 665 00:27:12,999 --> 00:27:15,101 - what? - her neck is all fucked up. She's in a brace. 666 00:27:15,201 --> 00:27:17,103 She didn't get In car accident, okay? 667 00:27:17,203 --> 00:27:18,971 I saw her car. There's not a scratch on it. 668 00:27:19,071 --> 00:27:21,040 No, she did, Larry, okay? 669 00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:23,676 She was Driving dennis's car, Asshole know-it-all. 670 00:27:23,776 --> 00:27:25,344 - jeff: his car's-- - ( knocking at door ) 671 00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:28,180 Susie: His car is all fucked up. Who's that? 672 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,783 Officer krupke: Yes, ma'am, I'm looking For larry david. 673 00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:33,052 Susie: Come right in. 674 00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:35,888 - hello. - oh, hey, Officer krupke. 675 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:37,990 - yeah. - hey, jeff, It's officer krupke. 676 00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:40,359 - oh, yeah, like from "West side story." - from "West side story." 677 00:27:40,459 --> 00:27:42,829 We received A call about you Using obscenities 678 00:27:42,929 --> 00:27:44,697 Against a woman And her children. 679 00:27:44,797 --> 00:27:46,265 What? That's ridiculous. 680 00:27:46,365 --> 00:27:49,068 I sang the song I sang to you. "Officer krupke, krup you." 681 00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:51,370 I didn't say fuck you. I said krup you. 682 00:27:51,470 --> 00:27:55,007 - that's not the way They heard it. - I was singing a song. 683 00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:57,409 Krup you! 684 00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,545 Where'd you get Those pants? 685 00:27:59,645 --> 00:28:01,047 Banana republic. 686 00:28:01,147 --> 00:28:03,215 There's a security tag On those pants. 687 00:28:03,315 --> 00:28:06,218 I traded them because They took my pants, So I took these. 688 00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:08,654 - give me the pants. - what are you talking about? 689 00:28:08,755 --> 00:28:10,689 - these are my pants. - now. 690 00:28:12,992 --> 00:28:15,427 - okay, fine. - you don't have To do this here. 691 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,696 I don't care. Okay, here. 692 00:28:17,797 --> 00:28:20,599 Susie: Oh my god! Jesus christ! 693 00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:22,902 Who are you? 694 00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:27,239 I'm larry david. I happen to enjoy Wearing women's panties. 695 00:28:32,644 --> 00:28:35,014 ( doorbell chimes ) 696 00:28:41,153 --> 00:28:45,124 You gotta tell susie I was in a car accident. 697 00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:49,061 * gee, officer krupke, We're very upset * 698 00:28:49,161 --> 00:28:52,331 * we never had the love Every child oughta get * 699 00:28:52,431 --> 00:28:55,768 * we ain't no delinquents, We're misunderstood * 700 00:28:55,868 --> 00:28:58,137 * deep down inside us There is good * 701 00:28:58,237 --> 00:29:00,907 - * there is good - * there is good, There is good * 702 00:29:01,007 --> 00:29:02,809 * there is untapped good 703 00:29:02,909 --> 00:29:06,678 * like inside The worst of us is good... * 704 00:29:06,779 --> 00:29:10,149 ( voices overlapping ) 705 00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:16,823 * the trouble Is he's lazy * 706 00:29:16,923 --> 00:29:18,590 * the trouble Is he drinks * 707 00:29:18,690 --> 00:29:19,959 * the trouble Is he's crazy * 708 00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:21,693 * the trouble Is he stinks * 709 00:29:21,794 --> 00:29:23,095 * the trouble Is he's growing * 710 00:29:23,195 --> 00:29:25,097 * the trouble Is he's grown * 711 00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:28,334 * krupke, we've got Troubles of our own * 712 00:29:28,434 --> 00:29:32,671 * gee, officer krupke, We're down on our knees * 713 00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:36,708 * 'cause no one loves a fellow With a social disease * 714 00:29:36,809 --> 00:29:38,811 * gee, officer krupke 715 00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:42,081 * what are we to do? 716 00:29:42,181 --> 00:29:46,185 * gee, officer krupke, Krup you. * 56029

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