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1
00:00:06,433 --> 00:00:08,467
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:13,733 --> 00:00:15,733
( classical music
Playing )
3
00:00:31,467 --> 00:00:33,133
( gasps )
4
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,033
( "Barber of seville"
Playing )
5
00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:44,867
( gurgling )
6
00:01:24,367 --> 00:01:25,833
Larry:
I'm drowning.
7
00:01:25,867 --> 00:01:27,167
I'm gonna die.
8
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,600
And somewhere--
I'm not religious at all--
9
00:01:29,633 --> 00:01:31,400
I said, "God, help me!"
10
00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:34,933
And I'm deposited
Right on the beach.
11
00:01:34,967 --> 00:01:37,533
- woman: oh my golly.
- I went swimming that day
For some reason.
12
00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:40,333
Something drew me
To the water.
13
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,067
Why? I don't know.
14
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:45,233
I was like a baby
Drawn to the nipple.
15
00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:48,767
You know?
Or an adult drawn
To the nipple.
16
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,067
- ( people chuckle )
- either way, right?
17
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,167
- you know what I think?
- is that divine
Intervention?
18
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,067
- man: unbelievable.
- is that not divine
Intervention?
19
00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:57,067
- you know what I think?
- huh?
20
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,600
- I think this happened
For a reason.
- yes!
21
00:01:58,633 --> 00:02:02,367
Yes, I think so too.
It happened for a reason.
22
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,300
Maybe you'll start
To be more respectful
To people,
23
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,733
- treat people better.
- I'm respectful to people.
24
00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:10,233
- eh, larry, eh-heh.
- what? "Eh-heh"?
25
00:02:10,267 --> 00:02:12,400
- fine. Whatever.
- I respect to people.
26
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,167
- I'm very nice to people.
- yeah, fine.
27
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,700
So, anyway, huh?
Amazing?
28
00:02:16,733 --> 00:02:17,967
- is that amazing?
- jeff: awesome.
29
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:20,267
True story,
Every word!
30
00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:23,200
To life! L'chaim!
31
00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:25,967
- yeah!
- to life!
32
00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,567
Woman: every day is a gift.
33
00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:33,433
Are you going
To temple for
The high holy days?
34
00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:34,900
- of course.
- I want to go
To temple this year.
35
00:02:34,933 --> 00:02:36,300
- you do?
- well, yeah.
36
00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:38,933
Given what happened,
Don't you think I should?
37
00:02:38,967 --> 00:02:40,167
Yeah, it's a great thing,
But you've got
38
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,267
To get your ticket
Six months in advance.
39
00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:44,533
It's a tough ticket
To go to high holy days.
40
00:02:44,567 --> 00:02:46,900
Why do you need a ticket
To go to temple?
It's crazy!
41
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:49,200
I'm not saying
I justify it,
42
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:51,667
But you need a ticket,
And I've got my tickets.
43
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,133
How am I gonna get one?
44
00:02:53,167 --> 00:02:55,867
Um...
45
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,800
You know what?
I'll make some calls,
46
00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:00,733
And if I hook one up
I call you tonight.
47
00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,833
- okay.
- we'll see.
48
00:03:02,867 --> 00:03:04,433
Look at this thing.
49
00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:07,133
You ever see a handle
Like this on a cup?
What's the point?
50
00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:09,500
- it looks like
A pretend teacup.
- look.
51
00:03:09,533 --> 00:03:11,467
You can't get
Your index finger in there.
What's the point?
52
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,667
I like watching you
Do that.
53
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:16,667
There was something I want
To tell you-- oh!
54
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:18,433
I went by leo's
Delicatessen.
55
00:03:18,467 --> 00:03:19,667
You know what's
Up on the board?
56
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,733
A brand new sandwich
Called the "Larry david."
57
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,700
- what? Get out of here.
- swear to god.
58
00:03:24,733 --> 00:03:25,867
Swear to god.
59
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:27,367
Leo named
A sandwich after me?
You're kidding!
60
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,200
- yep yep yep.
- I can't believe it.
I'm on the board?
61
00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:32,600
You're on the board.
62
00:03:32,633 --> 00:03:35,867
- what is it?
- let's see, um...
63
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:38,733
There's whitefish,
Uh, sable,
64
00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:41,267
- uh, capers, onions
And cream cheese.
- what? What?
65
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:44,267
- that's the sandwich?
- yeah.
66
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:47,333
- you've got a sandwich!
- that's a disgusting sandwich!
Really?
67
00:03:47,367 --> 00:03:49,867
All right, I'm gonna get
Something to eat.
68
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,767
- I'll see you in a minute.
- okay. Look at this.
69
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,300
( grunts )
70
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:56,467
- sorry.
- oh, boy.
71
00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:58,233
Oh my gosh.
Oh, what happened?
72
00:03:58,267 --> 00:04:00,833
( whispers )
He bumped me.
73
00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:02,933
- did you bump into him?
- no.
74
00:04:02,967 --> 00:04:04,100
You bumped into me.
75
00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:06,700
- you didn't bump into me?
- larr, please.
76
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,633
- what happened?
- oh, nothing.
77
00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:18,367
- ready to go?
- yeah, you ready?
78
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,900
- hey.
- susie: what?
79
00:04:19,933 --> 00:04:21,633
- we're gonna take off.
- what? We carpooled
With you.
80
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:24,667
- I'm not ready to leave yet.
- it's enough already.
81
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,633
Larry, what the fuck?
I'm having fun.
82
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,733
- jeff, they want to go.
- we want to go.
83
00:04:28,767 --> 00:04:30,267
- you want to go?
We carpooled.
- we want to go.
84
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:31,567
We're not ready
To leave, jeff.
85
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,367
- he just got his food.
- you'll get a ride.
86
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,600
- if don't get a ride
Give me a call.
- fine!
87
00:04:36,633 --> 00:04:38,433
- you'll be hearing from us.
- yeah, you'll come back
And get us.
88
00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:40,467
- I'll come back.
- I believe that.
89
00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:43,300
( cheryl moaning )
90
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:45,200
Cheryl:
Oh, larry.
91
00:04:45,233 --> 00:04:48,067
Larry:
Call me mr. Tibbs.
92
00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:50,433
Ooh, larry.
93
00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:56,133
( phone ringing )
94
00:04:57,667 --> 00:05:00,733
Don't answer that.
95
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:02,600
Actually, that might
Be jeff calling about
The temple tickets.
96
00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:05,367
- I don't care.
- huh?
97
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,067
- I don't care.
- this is kind of important.
98
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,633
He'll call back.
99
00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:12,733
Because I told him
To try and find out.
Hello?
100
00:05:12,767 --> 00:05:14,833
- hey!
- ##oh, hey.##
101
00:05:14,867 --> 00:05:17,367
Made some calls,
But no go on the tickets.
102
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,700
- oh, what a bummer!
- ##yeah.
103
00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:21,233
I'm sorry,
But you know what?##
104
00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:23,633
You can always try
For a scalper.
105
00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:25,133
Really? They got
Scalper tickets?
106
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:26,833
- ##they usually do.##
- huh.
107
00:05:26,867 --> 00:05:28,800
- ##yeah.##
- expensive?
108
00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:29,967
I have no idea.
109
00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:32,867
All right, I'll get
Some scalper tickets.
110
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,233
- ##get some scalper tickets.
- we'll just go down there
And try to get some.
111
00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:38,800
- ##yeah.##
- thanks for trying.
112
00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:41,767
Sure, man. I'll talk
To you later. Bye.
113
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,133
- get off!
- what?
114
00:05:45,167 --> 00:05:46,233
- get off of me!
- what are you doing?
115
00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:49,633
What am I doing?!
What are you doing?!
116
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:51,633
What?
117
00:05:51,667 --> 00:05:53,500
What's the big deal?
What?
118
00:05:53,533 --> 00:05:55,900
Why did you have
To answer the phone?
119
00:05:55,933 --> 00:05:57,600
'cause I told you
I was expecting a call.
120
00:05:57,633 --> 00:05:59,233
Why? So what?
I don't know.
121
00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:01,833
Jesus.
122
00:06:01,867 --> 00:06:03,233
Good night.
123
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:05,233
Oh, right.
124
00:06:05,267 --> 00:06:07,233
Mustn't interrupt
Intercourse.
125
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:10,533
Oh, sacred intercourse
Cannot be interrupted.
126
00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:13,467
Oh, everybody quiet.
127
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,067
Quiet for intercourse.
128
00:06:15,067 --> 00:06:18,067
Shh! Don't disturb
The intercourse.
129
00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:23,433
I'll tell you something.
130
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:26,067
This is some kind
Of sandwich, my friend.
131
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,400
It's the first time
I really kvelled--
132
00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:30,233
Really swelled up
With joy.
133
00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:32,067
Look at that.
Larry david sandwich.
134
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:34,733
I really kvell
From this.
135
00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:36,733
It's something that
Makes me prouder
Than anything.
136
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:39,633
Ah, all right, all right.
I don't even like it.
137
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:42,067
- what?
- I don't like it.
138
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:45,300
( mumbling )
All right, whatever
You said just now,
139
00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:47,467
You mumbled it,
Which is something
You do a lot.
140
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:50,467
- you do a lot
Of mumbling.
- okay.
141
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:54,700
You don't have a lot
Of respect for speech.
142
00:06:54,733 --> 00:06:56,800
You could speak
A little clearer.
143
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,333
It wouldn't hurt anybody.
You're laughing in my face.
144
00:06:59,367 --> 00:07:01,467
I don't have respect
For speech?
145
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,900
- yes, sir.
- I do! I respect speech!
146
00:07:03,933 --> 00:07:05,367
- yes!
- I disagree!
147
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,800
- aha! Look who's here!
- hey, leo!
148
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:09,867
- ( hand crunches )
- how're you doing?
149
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:13,133
- ( larry groans )
- so good to see you!
150
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:15,700
Oh, and mr. David, too!
151
00:07:15,733 --> 00:07:17,667
How are you, sir?
152
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:21,467
- nat: fine fine.
- huh? Yeah!
153
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:22,700
Leo!
154
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:25,600
First of all,
I want to thank you...
155
00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:28,467
For putting me up
On the board--
156
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,067
Having my own sandwich!
157
00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:31,600
( laughs )
158
00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:34,533
Larry david sandwich,
Huh?
159
00:07:34,567 --> 00:07:36,833
Will you look
How proud he is.
160
00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:40,533
No problem!
It is my pleasure to put
The larry david sandwich
161
00:07:40,567 --> 00:07:42,533
- up on the board.
- it's such a wonderful thing.
162
00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:43,967
You like it, yeah?
You like it?
163
00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:46,400
Eh!
164
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,800
- what is this "Eh"?
- eh.
165
00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:50,467
You know...
166
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,067
I'm not really a big--
167
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,467
I'm not really a big fish guy
To tell you the truth.
168
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,800
This is the best whitefish
In the whole wide world.
169
00:07:56,833 --> 00:07:58,867
No other place got
This whitefish but me.
170
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:03,933
I'm sure it is,
But I'm more of a pastrami,
Corned beef kind of guy.
171
00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:06,133
Can I get a pastrami,
Corned beef thing?
172
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:09,600
You are
The whitefish-sable
Period.
173
00:08:09,633 --> 00:08:11,533
- what do you want me to do?
- what about tongue?
174
00:08:11,567 --> 00:08:14,300
No tongue!
175
00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:16,167
Hey, let me ask you this,
Okay?
176
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,633
What if I got somebody
177
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:20,967
To switch sandwiches
With me?
178
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,800
- to switch with you?
- yeah, maybe, you know...
179
00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:27,167
Uh, ted danson,
Or something.
180
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,433
What do you think
About that?
181
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,633
Okay, I tell you what
I'm going to do for you.
182
00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:34,067
If the mr. Danson say okay,
183
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,333
Okay, then switch.
184
00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:37,667
- okay.
- if I can do it,
I can do it.
185
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:40,067
- I'll see you
At temple.
- okay.
186
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,600
Jesus, that guy...
187
00:08:44,633 --> 00:08:47,267
Almost broke my hand
With that shake.
188
00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,433
- don't whisper to me.
- I said he almost
189
00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:51,800
Broke my hand
With that handshake!
190
00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:55,267
You know,
Most of the time
Once in awhile
191
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,800
If you're...
192
00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:59,167
If you're pleasant
To people...
193
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,100
( stammering )
You... You...
194
00:09:03,967 --> 00:09:06,067
- what's the matter?
- ( choking )
195
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:09,067
- take a drink of water.
- ( gasps )
196
00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:10,867
Take some water.
197
00:09:13,167 --> 00:09:15,700
( dispatch radio squawks )
198
00:09:15,733 --> 00:09:17,367
It's okay, pop.
199
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,333
Everything's gonna be
All right.
200
00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:21,067
I've got your glasses.
201
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:40,400
Doctor: well, your dad hashad a
Mild stroke.
202
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:43,500
- really?
- yes. He's gonna be fine.
203
00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:45,933
He's gonna be fine.
I've got him lightly
Sedated
204
00:09:45,967 --> 00:09:47,800
And he's resting.
205
00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:50,800
He's doing very well
And it's nothing for you
To worry about.
206
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:52,767
- okay.
- absolutely.
207
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,700
My feeling is we may do
A little corrective surgery.
208
00:09:55,733 --> 00:09:57,700
I don't know
Exactly when,
209
00:09:57,733 --> 00:10:00,100
But we'll have him here
For awhile.
210
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:03,067
Let me ask you
A question.
211
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,733
My dad and I were
Eating in the deli...
212
00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:07,800
- mm-hmm.
- earlier, and um--
213
00:10:07,833 --> 00:10:10,900
Actually, they named
A sandwich after me.
214
00:10:10,933 --> 00:10:13,967
- no kidding?
- I've got my own sandwich.
215
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,100
- that is great.
- I'm up on the board.
216
00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:17,700
The larry david.
If you go in there--
217
00:10:17,733 --> 00:10:21,567
I've see that on the menu--
Everybody's got their sandwich.
218
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,300
But the bad news is that
I can stand the sandwich,
Between you and me.
219
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,767
( chuckles )
What is it?
220
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,833
I see you recoiled.
Was it a breath thing?
221
00:10:28,867 --> 00:10:32,000
- no, not at all.
- I noticed you put
Your head back.
222
00:10:32,033 --> 00:10:34,700
- but anyway,
Here's my question.
- okay.
223
00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:36,200
Is it possible
224
00:10:36,233 --> 00:10:39,433
That the sandwich
225
00:10:39,467 --> 00:10:42,633
Could've had something
To do with the stroke?
226
00:10:42,667 --> 00:10:45,000
If the sandwich
Was caught...
227
00:10:45,033 --> 00:10:47,000
And he started choking
And couldn't breathe
228
00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:49,433
And then became fearful,
I guess it's possible.
229
00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:51,367
You know, it could raise
His blood pressure.
230
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,533
His life is not threatened.
He's fine and he's resting.
231
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:57,100
The sandwich
Gave him a stroke.
How do you like this?
232
00:10:57,133 --> 00:10:59,267
The sandwich.
233
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:02,967
Do you mind if I--
If I, uh--
234
00:11:03,067 --> 00:11:05,133
I'm a big fan
Of "Seinfeld."
235
00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:07,967
- I don't know if that
Bothers you or not.
- why would it bother me?
236
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,600
- it was a wonderful show.
- thank you.
237
00:11:10,633 --> 00:11:12,933
And I'll tell you what,
238
00:11:12,967 --> 00:11:15,733
I'm gonna do your father's
Surgery for you.
239
00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:16,900
I'm chief surgeon here.
240
00:11:16,933 --> 00:11:19,600
Usually I delegate it
To somebody else,
241
00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:21,967
But I would be happy
To do this for you.
242
00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:25,167
- thank you.
- you're a golfer, right?
243
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,433
Would like to get
Together and play?
244
00:11:34,867 --> 00:11:37,067
- ( heart monitor beeping )
- ( sighs )
245
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:41,067
I can't believe that
That sandwich might have
Been responsible for this.
246
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,433
I'm so sorry.
247
00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:47,867
Whitefish.
248
00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:49,967
Why did he have
To give me whitefish?
249
00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,933
There are so many
Other sandwiches.
250
00:11:52,967 --> 00:11:56,333
Pastrami, tuna--
I would've taken tuna...
251
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:59,267
Even with the mercury.
252
00:12:01,267 --> 00:12:03,733
What stinks in here?
( sniffs )
253
00:12:03,767 --> 00:12:06,467
You know what?
I think you smell
From the onion.
254
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:10,067
You want a mint?
255
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:13,367
Take a mint.
256
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,667
No mint?
257
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:18,600
I got a whole handful
Of them.
258
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,067
What?
259
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:28,400
What?
260
00:12:33,267 --> 00:12:34,900
What is it?
261
00:12:34,933 --> 00:12:37,200
I didn't...
262
00:12:40,700 --> 00:12:43,200
( muttering )
263
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,233
I'm a doctor?
264
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,800
What?
I'm a doctor?
265
00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:51,800
( muttering )
266
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:58,367
I'm, a-adopted?
267
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,833
Adopted?
268
00:12:59,867 --> 00:13:01,733
- ( gasps )
- nurse: I'm sorry.
269
00:13:01,767 --> 00:13:04,300
- I'm gonna have
To ask you to leave.
- did you say I'm adopted?
270
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:05,967
Larry:
Okay, okay.
271
00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:07,567
- now.
- okay.
272
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,600
- "Adopted," you said?
- you have to leave now.
273
00:13:09,633 --> 00:13:12,067
- let's go now.
- dad, I'm adopted?
274
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,600
- I'm adopted?
- let's go.
275
00:13:14,633 --> 00:13:15,567
Let's go.
276
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,867
Larry:
I'm adopted.
277
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,400
I think I'm adopted.
I might be adopted.
278
00:13:23,433 --> 00:13:25,533
I think I'm adopted.
279
00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:27,800
I could be adopted.
280
00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:30,267
I might be adopted.
281
00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:33,833
Actress:
Dennis, hey!
282
00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:35,767
Where'd you
Come from?
283
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,067
Upstairs.
284
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,500
Upstairs?
What the-- ?
285
00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:42,167
Hey, do you mind
If I stop this
For a second?
286
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,133
Ted:
I have an idea.
287
00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:46,233
Maybe it'd be
More funny if...
288
00:13:46,267 --> 00:13:48,900
I've suspected this
A long time.
I really did.
289
00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:52,200
The only noticeable thing
I have in common with them,
290
00:13:52,233 --> 00:13:54,133
Honest to god,
Is my penmanship.
291
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,733
I noticed there's
A similarity.
292
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:56,667
Isn't there something
With the stroke
293
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,900
With oxygen
To his brain?
294
00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:02,967
- come on. Adopted?
- don't ruin this for me.
295
00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:05,200
- I'm not trying to ruin it.
- don't rain on my parade.
296
00:14:05,233 --> 00:14:06,500
- ted: look who's here.
- hey!
297
00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,700
- hey, jeff. Hey, man.
- I can't shake.
298
00:14:08,733 --> 00:14:11,067
Bad fingers.
Hurt my fingers.
299
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,933
All right.
I am so bummed out.
300
00:14:13,967 --> 00:14:16,967
- I'm awful. I'm don't know
How to be funny anymore.
- it's not you.
301
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:20,267
- it's the writing.
- why are you here
By the way?
302
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:22,067
No-- we were just--
I was at his office.
303
00:14:22,067 --> 00:14:23,567
Thought I'd bring him by.
Told him you were filming
Here.
304
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,167
- he got excited.
- I figured I would
Check out the pilot.
305
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,400
Thanks, buddy.
I really appreciate it.
306
00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:30,233
Oh, guess what?
307
00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:32,767
- leo's-- you know.
- yeah.
308
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:36,300
- they named
A sandwich after me.
- you're kidding?
309
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,433
- I got a sandwich.
- that's wonderful.
310
00:14:38,467 --> 00:14:40,733
- I'm on the board.
- you've arrived.
311
00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:43,433
- I'm on the board.
- that is fantastic.
312
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:44,833
- yep.
- that's good news.
313
00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:47,300
The thing about it--
I was wondering,
314
00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:48,800
'cause I know you don't
Go in there very much--
315
00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:52,533
I'm in there all the time.
I'm in there three times
A week.
316
00:14:52,567 --> 00:14:55,800
You know, and in as much
As you don't go in there,
317
00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:58,667
I was just thinking
That maybe--
318
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:00,733
'cause my sandwich
Is a great sandwich,
319
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,133
But I'm not really
A fish guy.
320
00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:05,967
- yeah.
- you gotta like fish.
321
00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:08,167
- eh.
- you like fish,
But anyway--
322
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,633
So I was thinking
Maybe you wouldn't mind
Switching with me.
323
00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:13,300
Switching sandwiches?
324
00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:16,233
You don't go in there.
I'd like to eat my own
Sandwich.
325
00:15:16,267 --> 00:15:20,333
It would be fun
To go in with my dad
And eat my own sandwich.
326
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:23,267
All right.
What the hell.
What's the harm?
327
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:25,467
- really?
- yeah, why not?
328
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,167
- fantastic!
- yeah yeah yeah.
329
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,500
Just so if anyone asks me,
What's in my new sandwich?
330
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:31,633
Okay, it's, um--
331
00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:33,567
You got whitefish.
332
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,667
You know whitefish?
333
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,167
- whitefish.
- whitefish,
334
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,400
And sable.
335
00:15:39,433 --> 00:15:41,067
What is sable?
336
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:44,433
- sable. It's a fish.
- it's like a whitefish.
It's a smoked fish.
337
00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:47,233
- it's a smoked fish.
- you have two fishes?
338
00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:49,467
Yeah, but they blend
Very well together.
339
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,633
They're like siamese twins,
Whitefish and sable.
340
00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:52,967
What else is in it?
341
00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:55,100
- no condiments?
- jeff: cream cheese.
342
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:59,600
There's some cream cheese.
It's--
343
00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:00,267
- yeah.
- yeah.
344
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:02,200
Capers.
345
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,667
They're may be some capers.
I'm not sure.
346
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,800
If you don't like them,
You can brush them off.
347
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:10,433
- not a big deal.
- onions.
348
00:16:10,467 --> 00:16:12,433
Yeah.
349
00:16:14,567 --> 00:16:18,367
( stammers )
350
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,100
That's sounds awful.
351
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:23,500
What are you talking about?
Awful?
352
00:16:23,533 --> 00:16:27,467
My sandwich is turkey,
Coleslaw, russian dressing.
353
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,700
It's a classic.
People come in,
They order a ted danson.
354
00:16:29,733 --> 00:16:32,667
Yeah, but you're not there.
You don't go in there.
355
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,067
People are used
To my sandwich,
356
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:36,867
They show up
And all of a sudden
They're eating--
357
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:40,067
The ted danson sandwich
All of a sudden has herring
And lox.
358
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,600
- it's not herring.
- capers.
359
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:44,433
- onions.
- shut the fuck up.
360
00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:46,467
It's not herring, okay?
361
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,133
It's whitefish and sable.
That's not herring.
362
00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:52,067
Instead of ordering
A ted danson, people
Order a larry david.
363
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,067
What's the difference?
364
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:55,533
One tastes good
And one sucks!
365
00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:57,400
Why don't you
Taste the sandwich?
366
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,233
- taste it!
- I don't wanna taste it!
367
00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:01,100
- you can't even taste it?
- I don't wanna taste it!
368
00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:03,167
- you won't even taste it?
- you keep it.
369
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,500
- ted: I'm won't taste
Your stupid sandwich.
- so you're not tasting it?
370
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,800
Tickets?
Tickets?
Who needs--
371
00:17:11,833 --> 00:17:13,767
Who needs tickets?
372
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,900
Tickets?
373
00:17:15,933 --> 00:17:18,767
Happy new year.
Tickets?
374
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,500
- how are you?
- good.
375
00:17:21,533 --> 00:17:22,367
You need tickets?
376
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:23,700
You got something?
377
00:17:23,733 --> 00:17:26,533
- do I have--
I have the best seats.
- yeah?
378
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:29,267
I have fabulous--
Two seats, right down front.
379
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:31,900
- the cantor will be practically
Spitting all over you.
- really?
380
00:17:31,933 --> 00:17:35,133
- how much?
- give me $600 for the two.
381
00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:35,767
- I'll give you
$300 for the pair.
- I'll take $300.
382
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,067
I'll take the $300.
383
00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:46,067
You have no idea
What a deal this is.
384
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:46,800
Incredible deal
You got here.
385
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:47,933
( mumbles )
386
00:17:52,633 --> 00:17:54,900
- here you are.
- all right.
387
00:17:54,933 --> 00:17:57,600
- you're not screwing me?
- you're screwing me maybe.
388
00:17:57,633 --> 00:18:00,467
I'm giving you the deal
Of a lifetime.
389
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:03,100
- jeff: hey! All good.
- susie: got them.
390
00:18:03,133 --> 00:18:04,700
- got them.
- jeff: how much?
391
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:06,233
- pfft!
- jeff: really?
392
00:18:06,267 --> 00:18:07,700
- yeah yeah.
- oh, jeez.
393
00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:09,933
I don't understand
Why you buy tickets.
394
00:18:09,967 --> 00:18:12,433
- susie: it's a popular day.
- too many jews to go around.
395
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:13,567
Susie:
Exactly.
396
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,533
By the way, thank you
For carpooling with us.
397
00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:18,900
I really never expected
You'd get in my car again
398
00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:21,167
- after the other night.
- cheryl: we're sorry.
399
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,767
Listen,
This adoption thing,
400
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,467
I was thinking about it.
401
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:28,567
Isn't there an aunt
Or an uncle or somebody
From your childhood?
402
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,367
Any relative who would know,
They're all dead.
403
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,967
- susie: they're all dead?
Every last one?
- all dead.
404
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:36,800
There's one person.
405
00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:39,900
- I had a nanny
When I was--
- ( laughs )
406
00:18:39,933 --> 00:18:42,333
- you had a nanny?
- I had a nanny--
Johanna seiderman--
407
00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:45,067
- susie: yeah?
- --when I was a little kid.
408
00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:48,733
Antoinette tracked
Her down.
409
00:18:48,767 --> 00:18:51,133
There's a johanna seiderman
In a nursing home
410
00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:52,433
- in queens...
- really?
411
00:18:52,467 --> 00:18:54,467
And I've written her
A letter.
412
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,867
This is terrific.
That way you'll have
Definitive "Yes, no."
413
00:18:56,900 --> 00:19:00,733
- yes.
- you might not be happy,
But you'll know.
414
00:19:00,767 --> 00:19:02,367
Let me ask
You guys a question.
415
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,333
You pick up the phone
During sex?
416
00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:06,300
- no!
- why would you pick up?
417
00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:08,800
You're in the middle
Of an intimate moment
With your loved one.
418
00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:10,467
- you're gonna pick up?
- I'm--
419
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,167
- fine.
- jeff: why would
You pick up?
420
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,933
Jeff: if every blue moon
I have sex, I'm not
Gonna pick up.
421
00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:17,167
- susie: why do you have
An answering machine?
- cheryl: thank you.
422
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,367
Susie: you're having
An intimate moment
And you pick up?
423
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,200
- jeff: who does that?
- man: hey, larry.
424
00:19:22,233 --> 00:19:24,700
Larry, rob.
425
00:19:24,733 --> 00:19:27,600
Oh, can't shake, rob.
Got a bad hand.
426
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:28,733
Okay. All right.
427
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:32,100
- um, so this your wife?
- no! What? No!
428
00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:34,400
- what kind of
Response is that?
- that's my wife.
429
00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:36,667
Oh, hey,
I'll see you inside.
430
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:38,567
- okay, see you inside.
- all right, take care.
431
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,833
- sorry? What?
- really! It's always
A thing.
432
00:19:41,867 --> 00:19:43,500
- oh, stop.
- "No no no no!"
433
00:19:43,533 --> 00:19:46,433
- jeff: what?!
- well, you've got
Your al capone hat on.
434
00:19:46,467 --> 00:19:49,100
This happens to be
A very expensive hat,
Mister.
435
00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:51,733
- it's rude.
- let's go in and pray.
436
00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:52,967
Jeff:
Let's go in and pray.
437
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:58,067
Sorry, susie.
438
00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:00,933
( speaking in hebrew )
439
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:04,667
"Be among those
Who cherish truth
Above ease.
440
00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:06,933
Their fruit we eat now;
441
00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:10,767
Their essence remains for us
In the life to come.
442
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,733
( speaking in hebrew )
443
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,967
( singing in hebrew )
444
00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:48,133
( whispers )
Hey hey.
445
00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:49,833
- how'd you get that sandwich?
- what are you talking about?
446
00:20:49,867 --> 00:20:52,800
- that sandwich at the deli!
- leo gave it to me.
447
00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:55,033
- that's how I got it.
- did you bribe him?
448
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,867
I bribed him.
That's rich.
449
00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:58,167
What are you
Talking about?
450
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,467
- how many times
A week do you go?
- I don't know. Two?
451
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:02,333
- I go there
Five times a week.
- big deal.
452
00:21:02,367 --> 00:21:03,733
I eat anything
Off the menu.
453
00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:05,633
- I eat a lot of stuff too.
- I take stuff out.
454
00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:07,167
- I get deliveries.
- I give it to charity.
455
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,433
- man: shh!
- big deal!
456
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,233
Larry: what were youtalking to
Him about?
457
00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:12,333
None of your business.
The new year.
458
00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:14,667
"Leo, I didn't
Get a sandwich.
I want a sandwich."
459
00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:18,100
Your sandwich stinks,
By the way. It stinks!
460
00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:19,833
You stink.
461
00:21:19,867 --> 00:21:22,367
Excuse me, sir.
I'm gonna need
To see your ticket.
462
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:26,167
- why?
- your ticket, sir.
463
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,633
Is there a problem?
464
00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:30,333
What's the problem?
465
00:21:33,633 --> 00:21:35,100
This the guy?
466
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,667
- guard: okay, pal.
- you little snitch.
467
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:41,167
- you're gonna have
To step out of there.
- I have a ticket.
468
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,433
- let's go. Do you feel
Like making a scene?
- no.
469
00:21:43,467 --> 00:21:45,200
- shh!
- oh, shush you.
470
00:21:45,233 --> 00:21:46,133
- shh!
- shh!
471
00:21:46,167 --> 00:21:48,800
- shh!
- shush yourself!
472
00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:50,667
All right, great.
Little tattletale.
473
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,900
You little snitch.
He spilled the coffee,
By the way,
474
00:21:52,933 --> 00:21:54,967
Because I couldn't
Put my fingers through
Your dainty cup!
475
00:21:55,067 --> 00:21:58,333
You're setting a bad example
For my gentile wife.
476
00:21:58,367 --> 00:22:00,733
It's her first time
In temple.
477
00:22:00,767 --> 00:22:02,267
- what's happening?
- they're kicking us out.
478
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:04,733
- are you gonna wait?
- it's gonna be an
Hour and a half.
479
00:22:04,767 --> 00:22:06,800
How are we gonna get home?
We carpooled with you.
480
00:22:06,833 --> 00:22:08,967
You'll get a ride.
There's plenty of people.
481
00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:12,067
- guard: let's go.
- get a ride.
482
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:15,433
Cantor:
Friends, let us
Continue on page 133.
483
00:22:18,067 --> 00:22:20,900
- I saw you roll
About seven feet past.
- yeah.
484
00:22:20,933 --> 00:22:23,267
Larry:
Get this: the doctor
Divorced his wife
485
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,867
And is seeing
His secretary.
486
00:22:26,633 --> 00:22:28,367
- larry: just told me.
- unbelievable.
487
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,533
- this guy.
- heh.
488
00:22:30,567 --> 00:22:31,933
- did you hear
From the nanny?
- no.
489
00:22:31,967 --> 00:22:34,600
No, not yet.
490
00:22:34,633 --> 00:22:36,767
- you must be
On pins and needles.
- yeah.
491
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,067
But I think if she
Gets the letter,
492
00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:40,633
She's gonna get
In touch with me.
493
00:22:40,667 --> 00:22:42,067
We'll see.
494
00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:43,300
- that's wild.
- isn't it?
495
00:22:43,333 --> 00:22:44,900
Yeah yeah yeah.
496
00:23:01,267 --> 00:23:03,500
He's got the yips.
497
00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:10,233
- cheryl: the what?
- ( larry sighs )
498
00:23:10,267 --> 00:23:11,600
Larry:
The yips.
499
00:23:11,633 --> 00:23:13,867
- the yips!
- I don't know
What that is.
500
00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:15,567
- you never heard
Of the yips?
- no.
501
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,467
Okay, it's in golf.
502
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:20,300
You line up to putt
And your hands shake.
503
00:23:20,333 --> 00:23:21,767
He was shaking
Like this.
504
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:25,733
Well, maybe it's just
A golf condition.
505
00:23:25,767 --> 00:23:27,833
He gets nervous
When he putts.
506
00:23:27,867 --> 00:23:31,400
I can't take that chance.
He's operating on my father.
507
00:23:31,433 --> 00:23:33,900
You need to call him
And tell him not to do it.
508
00:23:33,933 --> 00:23:35,467
They're gonna have
To get somebody else.
509
00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:38,400
- I hate doing
Stuff like this.
- you don't have a choice.
510
00:23:38,433 --> 00:23:39,767
I hate these calls.
511
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:43,800
Pick up the phone
And call the doctor.
512
00:23:43,833 --> 00:23:45,600
Maybe you could
Call him.
513
00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:47,533
If it was my father
514
00:23:47,567 --> 00:23:49,300
I would've already been
On the phone.
515
00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:52,900
Okay.
516
00:23:59,367 --> 00:24:01,067
You should go out
Of the room
517
00:24:01,067 --> 00:24:03,300
'cause I can't do this
In front of somebody,
Honest to god.
518
00:24:03,333 --> 00:24:06,833
Could you leave the room?
It's like calling for a date.
519
00:24:06,867 --> 00:24:09,933
- I need privacy.
- oy.
520
00:24:09,967 --> 00:24:13,533
( tones beep )
521
00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:19,367
- ( phone ringing )
- ( moaning )
522
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,200
I never--
I never said
You were adopted.
523
00:24:30,233 --> 00:24:31,700
Yeah, that's what
You said.
524
00:24:31,733 --> 00:24:32,967
No, I never said that.
525
00:24:33,067 --> 00:24:35,800
I wouldn't say that
To you, no.
526
00:24:35,833 --> 00:24:37,367
It's not true, no.
527
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,267
- you're not adopted.
- it's okay, you can tell me.
528
00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:41,800
- I can take it.
Are you sure?
- you're not.
529
00:24:41,833 --> 00:24:45,300
Listen, that
Larry david sandwich,
530
00:24:45,333 --> 00:24:46,433
I didn't finish it.
531
00:24:46,467 --> 00:24:49,067
I remember seeing
A half a sandwich
532
00:24:49,067 --> 00:24:50,200
Still on that table.
533
00:24:50,233 --> 00:24:51,767
You want
The other half?
534
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,600
You know, I just ran
Into your doctor.
535
00:24:53,633 --> 00:24:55,100
I'm meeting him
There for lunch.
536
00:24:55,133 --> 00:24:57,500
- what a nightmare
That's gonna be.
- what?
537
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,500
You sure
I'm not adopted?
538
00:25:05,167 --> 00:25:07,900
I never said that.
Never.
539
00:25:27,667 --> 00:25:29,167
Okay.
540
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,567
We'll see what
Mrs. Seiderman has to say.
541
00:25:45,667 --> 00:25:48,467
Ah! Um...
542
00:25:50,067 --> 00:25:51,833
I'd like
A larry david
To go, please.
543
00:25:51,867 --> 00:25:55,100
Oh, we don't have
That sandwich anymore.
544
00:25:55,133 --> 00:25:57,067
- what?
- they changed the name.
545
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,700
Richard:
And I say that it happens
Every single time.
546
00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:09,733
( guffawing )
547
00:26:09,767 --> 00:26:12,067
I swear to god.
I wouldn't lie to you,
Not to you guys.
548
00:26:12,067 --> 00:26:14,567
Larry, what are you
Doing here?
549
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,967
You stole my sandwich?
Is that what you did?
550
00:26:18,067 --> 00:26:19,667
- what are you talking about?
- what am I talking about?
551
00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:22,367
- what are you talking about?
- you stole my sandwich!
552
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,467
- what does that mean?
- look at the board!
553
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:26,700
You're blaming me?
554
00:26:26,733 --> 00:26:28,900
I saw you talking to him
Outside the temple.
555
00:26:28,933 --> 00:26:31,733
- you're out of your mind.
- you don't think I saw you?
556
00:26:31,767 --> 00:26:33,333
I always talk
To people outside.
557
00:26:33,367 --> 00:26:34,800
It's rosh hashanah!
It's the new year!
558
00:26:34,833 --> 00:26:37,567
I talk to deli owners!
I talk to pawnbrokers!
559
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,567
"Leo, can I please
Have a sandwich?"
560
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,700
- oh, bullshit!
- you were so jealous
That I had a sandwich,
561
00:26:42,733 --> 00:26:44,300
You just couldn't
Take it, could you?
562
00:26:44,333 --> 00:26:46,400
You had to get
Your sandwich!
563
00:26:46,433 --> 00:26:48,433
I got information
You might be interested in.
564
00:26:48,467 --> 00:26:50,233
I can't wait.
What is it?
565
00:26:50,267 --> 00:26:52,067
I'm adopted.
566
00:26:52,067 --> 00:26:54,433
- bullshit.
- bullshit?
567
00:26:54,467 --> 00:26:56,533
Bullshit?
No, it's not bullshit.
568
00:26:56,567 --> 00:26:58,467
What do you mean
You're adopted?
569
00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:00,067
I'm adopted.
570
00:27:00,100 --> 00:27:02,933
- how do you know?
- my father told me.
571
00:27:02,967 --> 00:27:05,933
- you don't know
Who your parents are?
- they're not those nuts!
572
00:27:05,967 --> 00:27:08,067
I know that, but I know
Who yours are.
573
00:27:08,100 --> 00:27:11,333
- fuck.
- enjoy your whitefish.
Enjoy.
574
00:27:11,367 --> 00:27:13,067
- larry.
- yeah?
575
00:27:13,100 --> 00:27:15,967
Larry, you are adopted?
576
00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,467
- yeah.
- I adopted too!
577
00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:19,667
( laughs )
You are my brother!
578
00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:22,433
- we are in the brotherhood
Of the adopted!
- ( groans )
579
00:27:22,467 --> 00:27:24,233
Larry,
Come on over here.
580
00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,067
You know what
I'm going to do?
581
00:27:26,067 --> 00:27:27,933
I'm going to let you
Have any sandwich
You want.
582
00:27:27,967 --> 00:27:29,933
- really?
- any one you want!
Take it!
583
00:27:29,967 --> 00:27:31,133
- go ahead, take it.
- oh, boy.
584
00:27:31,167 --> 00:27:33,933
- take it.
- it's a tough decision.
585
00:27:33,967 --> 00:27:36,367
Okay okay, I wait.
586
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,267
I think I'm going to have
To go with that ted danson.
587
00:27:38,300 --> 00:27:40,600
- ted danson?
That's yours.
- yeah.
588
00:27:40,633 --> 00:27:43,333
- larry: thank you!
- that son of a bitch
Don't come in anyway!
589
00:27:43,367 --> 00:27:44,433
- you got it!
- thank you.
590
00:27:44,467 --> 00:27:46,600
- hey, larry.
- dr. Sewell.
591
00:27:46,633 --> 00:27:49,267
I want you
To meet a friend of mine.
Leo, this is dr. Sewell.
592
00:27:49,300 --> 00:27:50,333
- leo.
- how are you,
Dr. Sewell?
593
00:27:50,367 --> 00:27:52,267
- ( hand crunches )
- ( cries out )
594
00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:55,633
( whimpers )
595
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,300
I think I'll get that
Larry david to go.
596
00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:08,633
( phone ringing )
597
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,900
Do not even think
About it.
598
00:28:13,933 --> 00:28:16,500
I'm expecting a phone call
From mrs. Seiderman.
599
00:28:16,533 --> 00:28:19,200
- who?
- you know, my nanny.
600
00:28:19,233 --> 00:28:21,467
( ringing continues )
601
00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:25,400
Do not pick up
That phone.
602
00:28:31,867 --> 00:28:34,367
Nobody's picking up.
603
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,967
- ( line ringing )
- I had an answer
604
00:28:37,067 --> 00:28:39,233
To his question.
605
00:28:39,267 --> 00:28:43,467
If only he had
Picked up.
606
00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:45,267
( sighs )
607
00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:47,133
Mrs. Seiderman?
608
00:28:47,167 --> 00:28:50,167
Mrs. Seiderman.
609
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,533
- ( theme music playing )
- mrs. Seiderman!
610
00:28:52,567 --> 00:28:54,800
Mrs. Seiderman?!
45625
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