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1
00:00:03,084 --> 00:00:04,813
So, Mike and Martina,
2
00:00:04,848 --> 00:00:07,179
let's talk about why you're
seeking therapy today.
3
00:00:07,214 --> 00:00:08,878
She made me.
4
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:12,807
- What are you writing?
- Mike.
5
00:00:12,842 --> 00:00:14,107
He's just taking notes.
6
00:00:15,508 --> 00:00:18,438
He's writing about you now.
7
00:00:18,473 --> 00:00:20,203
You don't know that.
8
00:00:20,238 --> 00:00:21,735
Are you?
9
00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:23,268
Let's get back to why you're here.
10
00:00:23,303 --> 00:00:24,467
Yes.
11
00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,898
We're here about a
dilemma Mike's facing.
12
00:00:26,934 --> 00:00:29,930
It all began when I was
counseling a mother and daughter
13
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:33,561
who were having some problems
since they moved in together.
14
00:00:33,596 --> 00:00:34,959
I just
can't control her.
15
00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:36,791
Coming in at all hours,
16
00:00:36,826 --> 00:00:39,024
drinking, loud music,
17
00:00:39,060 --> 00:00:41,056
an endless parade of men.
18
00:00:43,889 --> 00:00:47,317
I'm just having a little fun.
19
00:00:47,353 --> 00:00:50,250
Well, adult parents and
children living together again
20
00:00:50,285 --> 00:00:52,214
does present a lot of challenges.
21
00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:54,013
It certainly does.
22
00:00:54,049 --> 00:00:56,312
That stupid accent!
23
00:00:57,846 --> 00:00:58,944
It's not a choice.
24
00:00:58,978 --> 00:01:01,243
You married a British man
and raised me in London.
25
00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:04,506
Raised me in London.
26
00:01:04,541 --> 00:01:06,738
Who talks like that?
27
00:01:06,773 --> 00:01:09,370
Everyone in London!
28
00:01:09,406 --> 00:01:11,701
Can you even understand her?
29
00:01:13,503 --> 00:01:14,866
Mom, major emergency.
30
00:01:14,902 --> 00:01:15,832
Stella!
31
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,198
I'm in session.
32
00:01:17,234 --> 00:01:19,730
You know I've said not to come
in when the door is closed.
33
00:01:19,765 --> 00:01:20,995
Yeah, but you also said
34
00:01:21,031 --> 00:01:22,660
you're sad you don't
have enough patients,
35
00:01:22,695 --> 00:01:26,525
so sometimes you just come
in here to cry, so...
36
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,256
Stella, whatever it is,
we'll deal with it later.
37
00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:31,489
Oh, sorry about that.
38
00:01:31,524 --> 00:01:33,254
Now, let's get back...
39
00:01:33,289 --> 00:01:34,752
Martina!
40
00:01:34,787 --> 00:01:37,983
I don't feel so good.
41
00:01:38,019 --> 00:01:39,516
Whoa, whoa.
42
00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:41,947
Yes, I was a little under the weather,
43
00:01:41,983 --> 00:01:44,213
but that is not how it happened.
44
00:01:46,779 --> 00:01:48,610
Mike, what are you doing out of bed?
45
00:01:48,645 --> 00:01:50,675
You're deathly ill.
46
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,074
Yes, I am,
47
00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:55,138
but that wood isn't gonna chop itself.
48
00:01:55,173 --> 00:01:57,304
That is not how it went.
49
00:01:57,339 --> 00:02:00,202
Although I would like
you to chop that wood.
50
00:02:00,237 --> 00:02:02,900
It's a lot of work.
51
00:02:02,935 --> 00:02:05,065
Martina!
52
00:02:05,101 --> 00:02:06,331
That's my husband.
53
00:02:06,367 --> 00:02:07,830
He's not feeling well,
54
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,429
and you know how men get.
55
00:02:09,465 --> 00:02:10,795
She doesn't.
56
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:12,227
Ugh.
57
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:13,326
This again.
58
00:02:13,362 --> 00:02:15,092
She's a virgin.
59
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,357
I am not a virgin.
60
00:02:18,392 --> 00:02:19,888
It can lapse!
61
00:02:19,923 --> 00:02:22,787
Like a driver's license.
62
00:02:22,822 --> 00:02:24,652
That's ridiculous.
63
00:02:24,688 --> 00:02:27,284
I was married up until ten years ago.
64
00:02:27,319 --> 00:02:30,048
I will admit it has been a while.
65
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:33,446
There are cobwebs down there.
66
00:02:35,713 --> 00:02:37,977
Stop pushing me, Mother.
67
00:02:38,012 --> 00:02:39,976
I'll go out again when I'm ready.
68
00:02:40,011 --> 00:02:41,574
Look, we really don't mind
69
00:02:41,609 --> 00:02:43,140
if you need to tend to your family.
70
00:02:43,176 --> 00:02:45,204
Your daughter did say
it was an emergency.
71
00:02:45,239 --> 00:02:48,502
Well, thank you.
72
00:02:48,537 --> 00:02:51,367
I'm sure it's nothing, but
I will be right back.
73
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:56,165
It must be nice to have a
daughter who needs you
74
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,096
and wants your advice.
75
00:02:58,131 --> 00:03:00,694
You don't give me advice, just insults.
76
00:03:00,729 --> 00:03:02,393
I don't insult you.
77
00:03:02,428 --> 00:03:03,758
Just this morning you asked me
78
00:03:03,793 --> 00:03:07,556
which mortician died and
left me his clothes.
79
00:03:07,591 --> 00:03:11,287
A genuine question.
80
00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:14,218
All right, what's the big emergency?
81
00:03:14,254 --> 00:03:15,884
This is tough, Mom.
82
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,750
Have you ever heard of
Lou Gehrig's disease?
83
00:03:17,785 --> 00:03:20,148
Yes. Oh, my God, Stella.
84
00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:23,946
Well, there's a play about
it, and I have an audition.
85
00:03:23,981 --> 00:03:26,077
But I told them I could
do accents, and I can't.
86
00:03:26,112 --> 00:03:27,609
Mom, help.
87
00:03:27,645 --> 00:03:29,008
It's the first day of my internship,
88
00:03:29,044 --> 00:03:30,108
and I'm freaking out.
89
00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:31,207
Which outfit says,
90
00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:32,307
"Take my seriously, damn it,
91
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,372
but I'm a little fun."
92
00:03:34,408 --> 00:03:36,403
The left one.
93
00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:39,368
Oh, and you, Google "accents"
and do what they say,
94
00:03:39,404 --> 00:03:42,133
then Google "real problems"
and pay attention.
95
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:49,328
Oh, I am so sorry for that interruption.
96
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,627
Where's your mother?
97
00:03:50,662 --> 00:03:52,626
She went to help your husband.
98
00:03:52,661 --> 00:03:54,125
What?
99
00:03:58,291 --> 00:04:00,421
Is this helping you?
100
00:04:00,455 --> 00:04:02,053
I'm not sure.
101
00:04:02,088 --> 00:04:05,683
It's sure helping me.
102
00:04:05,719 --> 00:04:08,383
Sandy, what are you doing in here?
103
00:04:08,418 --> 00:04:12,412
She showed up and started
rubbing VapoRub on my chest.
104
00:04:12,447 --> 00:04:14,544
And...
105
00:04:14,579 --> 00:04:17,642
I just went with it.
106
00:04:17,677 --> 00:04:19,774
This is wrong. You can't be here.
107
00:04:19,809 --> 00:04:21,539
I'm your therapist.
108
00:04:21,574 --> 00:04:23,039
Oh, not anymore.
109
00:04:23,074 --> 00:04:25,736
This poor man needs me.
110
00:04:25,772 --> 00:04:27,369
That's my job.
111
00:04:27,404 --> 00:04:29,733
I think I can take care of my husband.
112
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,866
So why aren't you feeding him?
113
00:04:31,902 --> 00:04:33,331
Feed a cold;
114
00:04:33,367 --> 00:04:34,730
starve a fever.
115
00:04:34,766 --> 00:04:36,429
I could eat.
116
00:04:37,663 --> 00:04:39,895
How do chocolate chip pancakes sound?
117
00:04:39,929 --> 00:04:42,959
Could you make the chocolate
chips into a smiley face?
118
00:04:42,995 --> 00:04:45,456
With a whipped cream beard.
119
00:04:45,491 --> 00:04:46,788
That sounds good.
120
00:04:46,823 --> 00:04:49,220
Can we keep her?
121
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:02,288
- sync and corrections by Caio -
- www.addic7ed.com -
122
00:05:02,646 --> 00:05:05,309
Excuse me.
123
00:05:05,345 --> 00:05:06,409
When I was in here before,
124
00:05:06,444 --> 00:05:08,974
I noticed you do a great British accent.
125
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,173
It's just how I talk.
126
00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:11,505
Okay, you don't have
127
00:05:11,540 --> 00:05:14,471
to brag about how easy it is for you.
128
00:05:14,505 --> 00:05:16,535
Anyway, I have a play audition tomorrow,
129
00:05:16,571 --> 00:05:18,200
so I could I follow you around tonight
130
00:05:18,236 --> 00:05:19,599
and learn how to talk like you?
131
00:05:19,634 --> 00:05:21,998
I mean, you don't have, like,
a date or anything, do you?
132
00:05:22,033 --> 00:05:22,965
No.
133
00:05:23,999 --> 00:05:24,930
No dates for me.
134
00:05:26,098 --> 00:05:29,094
It's kind of your own fault.
135
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,392
You're like the girl in
a teen move who's ugly
136
00:05:31,427 --> 00:05:34,225
until she takes her glasses
off, and then she's hot.
137
00:05:36,789 --> 00:05:38,221
Huh...
138
00:05:38,256 --> 00:05:41,219
That must just be in the movies.
139
00:05:41,254 --> 00:05:43,084
Anyway, I can help, okay?
140
00:05:43,119 --> 00:05:44,516
You teach me to talk like a Brit,
141
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,382
and I will make you over.
142
00:05:46,417 --> 00:05:48,914
I must say I'm intrigued.
143
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:53,277
I
must say I'm intrigued!
144
00:05:53,313 --> 00:05:55,508
We've got a lot of work to do.
145
00:05:55,544 --> 00:05:56,875
Oh, don't put yourself down.
146
00:05:56,910 --> 00:05:59,340
You're not that unattractive.
147
00:06:03,339 --> 00:06:06,102
Oh, these pancakes are so good.
148
00:06:07,337 --> 00:06:10,664
Even sick, you're an attractive man.
149
00:06:12,598 --> 00:06:14,197
What the hell's going on, son?
150
00:06:14,232 --> 00:06:15,162
Son?
151
00:06:15,198 --> 00:06:17,460
So that's where you get it.
152
00:06:17,495 --> 00:06:20,859
You need to get out of bed
so we can go watch the game.
153
00:06:20,894 --> 00:06:23,090
- I got a cold.
- Typical.
154
00:06:23,126 --> 00:06:24,423
I don't get colds.
155
00:06:24,458 --> 00:06:26,454
I felt one coming on once,
but I told it to screw,
156
00:06:26,489 --> 00:06:27,753
and that was the end of it.
157
00:06:27,789 --> 00:06:29,319
I could listen to you
158
00:06:29,354 --> 00:06:33,284
telling things to screw all night.
159
00:06:33,319 --> 00:06:35,216
Who is this?
160
00:06:35,251 --> 00:06:36,581
Dad, this is Sandy.
161
00:06:36,616 --> 00:06:39,712
She's a little tiny angel,
and I'm keeping her.
162
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:41,512
Go watch the game with Alice.
163
00:06:41,546 --> 00:06:43,943
Alice is at Bible study again,
164
00:06:43,978 --> 00:06:46,341
and apparently I'm not allowed to join.
165
00:06:46,376 --> 00:06:49,672
I didn't want my husband to
go to my Bible study either.
166
00:06:49,707 --> 00:06:50,705
Why not?
167
00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:52,604
Because I wasn't there.
168
00:06:52,638 --> 00:06:55,669
I was having an affair.
169
00:06:55,704 --> 00:06:58,134
Well, Alice is not having an affair.
170
00:06:58,170 --> 00:06:59,732
She's studying the good book.
171
00:06:59,768 --> 00:07:01,530
When she comes home from Bible study,
172
00:07:01,565 --> 00:07:03,396
she's full of the Spirit.
173
00:07:03,431 --> 00:07:06,162
Flushed and satisfied.
174
00:07:06,197 --> 00:07:07,559
Happy...
175
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,492
tired...
176
00:07:09,527 --> 00:07:12,224
Good God, I have to investigate.
177
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:15,554
I have an idea how you
can get back at her!
178
00:07:17,789 --> 00:07:19,918
He'll be back.
179
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,735
Hi, I'm Shea Moore, the new intern.
180
00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:32,433
I'm Nate Johnson, the other new intern.
181
00:07:32,468 --> 00:07:34,232
Nice to meet you.
182
00:07:34,267 --> 00:07:36,197
Whoa...
183
00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:38,529
what are we gonna do about this?
184
00:07:38,564 --> 00:07:39,962
What "this"?
185
00:07:39,997 --> 00:07:42,560
The obvious sexual tension between us.
186
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:47,557
Well, I don't see
how it could be obvious.
187
00:07:47,591 --> 00:07:49,289
Nice try. Your breath is shallow.
188
00:07:49,324 --> 00:07:50,921
The capillaries in your
cheeks are reddening,
189
00:07:50,956 --> 00:07:52,986
and your pupils are dilating.
190
00:07:53,022 --> 00:07:54,818
Yeah, I'm also an MD.
I was a triple major.
191
00:07:54,853 --> 00:07:56,217
They told me I couldn't do that!
192
00:07:56,252 --> 00:07:57,516
Yeah.
193
00:07:57,551 --> 00:07:59,415
They told me I couldn't park
my motorcycle in my room.
194
00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:01,514
Did I listen to them? I don't know.
195
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,079
Ask the grease stains on my carpet.
196
00:08:04,747 --> 00:08:06,910
A bad boy.
197
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,741
Look, let's just reduce this equation
198
00:08:08,777 --> 00:08:11,040
down to the lowest terms.
199
00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:12,606
Honestly, every cell in my being
200
00:08:12,641 --> 00:08:14,272
is just screaming to make love to you.
201
00:08:14,307 --> 00:08:15,537
They are?
202
00:08:15,572 --> 00:08:16,836
I'm not gonna let that happen.
203
00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,303
What?
204
00:08:18,338 --> 00:08:20,801
No, this internship's too
important to the both of us.
205
00:08:20,836 --> 00:08:22,001
We're astrophysicists.
206
00:08:22,036 --> 00:08:25,264
We're not gonna let our
biology screw this up.
207
00:08:25,299 --> 00:08:27,728
Yeah, I'm funny too. You're doomed.
208
00:08:32,128 --> 00:08:35,224
Oh, my God! You're still here.
209
00:08:35,260 --> 00:08:37,357
Why are you still here?
210
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,788
Good genes, I guess.
211
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:44,018
She's making me pie.
Don't be mad, Martina.
212
00:08:44,053 --> 00:08:45,649
She's just taking care of me.
213
00:08:45,685 --> 00:08:47,283
I take care of you.
214
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:50,813
Yeah, but then I have to
take care of you back.
215
00:08:50,849 --> 00:08:52,113
Hello, all.
216
00:08:52,148 --> 00:08:54,978
Sweetheart, how was your
first day at the new job?
217
00:08:55,013 --> 00:08:56,011
It was great,
218
00:08:56,046 --> 00:08:58,707
except there's a fellow intern who is...
219
00:08:58,743 --> 00:09:01,473
well, I don't know how to put this.
220
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,438
You want to have sex with him.
221
00:09:05,340 --> 00:09:06,170
Sandy!
222
00:09:06,205 --> 00:09:07,202
No, she's right.
223
00:09:08,904 --> 00:09:11,900
Honey, workplace romances
can be really risky.
224
00:09:11,935 --> 00:09:14,097
What if he's the love of her life?
225
00:09:14,132 --> 00:09:15,263
She's 23.
226
00:09:15,298 --> 00:09:17,595
How can this guy possibly
be the love of her life?
227
00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:19,427
We got married at 23.
228
00:09:19,463 --> 00:09:20,926
We had to.
229
00:09:20,962 --> 00:09:24,757
I met the love of my life at 23...
230
00:09:24,792 --> 00:09:28,521
and 47...
231
00:09:28,557 --> 00:09:32,118
and 65...
232
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:35,183
I'm just saying be smart.
233
00:09:35,219 --> 00:09:37,982
And I'm just saying there
are other variables.
234
00:09:38,017 --> 00:09:41,612
Mom, as always, your advice is spot-on,
235
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,611
but this lady's advice
is a little bit better
236
00:09:43,646 --> 00:09:45,444
and seems like it might get me laid.
237
00:09:47,610 --> 00:09:49,406
And I am, sadly, only human.
238
00:09:50,408 --> 00:09:51,839
Oh, who wants pie?
239
00:09:51,874 --> 00:09:54,370
- I do.
- Pie? There's pie?
240
00:09:54,405 --> 00:09:56,303
Okay, Sandy,
241
00:09:56,338 --> 00:09:57,401
time to go home.
242
00:09:57,437 --> 00:09:59,900
Do you need a lift?
Should I call an Uber?
243
00:09:59,936 --> 00:10:01,565
A horse-and-buggy?
244
00:10:03,201 --> 00:10:05,529
I'm not going anywhere.
245
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:06,494
What?
246
00:10:06,530 --> 00:10:08,960
Your family needs me.
247
00:10:08,995 --> 00:10:10,693
I'm filling a vacuum.
248
00:10:10,728 --> 00:10:12,724
By the way, I vacuumed.
249
00:10:15,059 --> 00:10:17,355
I mean, obviously, as a therapist,
250
00:10:17,390 --> 00:10:18,487
I could see that she was
251
00:10:18,523 --> 00:10:20,253
projecting her relationship issues
252
00:10:20,289 --> 00:10:21,819
with her daughter onto us.
253
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:23,517
Oh, stop showing off.
254
00:10:24,984 --> 00:10:27,647
And since I couldn't reason with Sandy,
255
00:10:27,683 --> 00:10:30,046
I decided to talk to her daughter Gwen
256
00:10:30,081 --> 00:10:32,411
who had spent the day with Stella.
257
00:10:32,446 --> 00:10:36,309
'Ello, Mum, fancy a pint?
258
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,406
It's me, Stella.
259
00:10:39,441 --> 00:10:43,004
Do I make you 'orny?
260
00:10:43,039 --> 00:10:44,136
I'm your mother.
261
00:10:44,172 --> 00:10:46,035
I'm practicing my new accent.
262
00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:47,601
Gwen and I watched some British films
263
00:10:47,636 --> 00:10:48,767
about that Austin Powers guy.
264
00:10:48,803 --> 00:10:50,699
Well, where is Gwen? I
need to talk to her.
265
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:51,965
She's in the loo.
266
00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:53,831
That's British for toilet!
267
00:10:53,866 --> 00:10:57,460
They have a word for
everything over there.
268
00:10:57,496 --> 00:10:59,426
Hello, Martina.
269
00:10:59,461 --> 00:11:02,424
Wow, you look amazing!
270
00:11:02,459 --> 00:11:03,857
I feel like a whole new woman!
271
00:11:03,892 --> 00:11:06,189
Between Stella's makeover and
not having my mum around,
272
00:11:06,224 --> 00:11:07,921
I've never been happier.
273
00:11:07,956 --> 00:11:09,020
That being said,
274
00:11:09,055 --> 00:11:11,153
wouldn't you like to
have your mom around?
275
00:11:11,188 --> 00:11:12,252
God, no.
276
00:11:12,287 --> 00:11:15,182
But she's driving me crazy.
277
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:19,280
What I'm hearing sounds
like a you problem.
278
00:11:19,314 --> 00:11:21,711
You know, it's amazing
what not being insulted
279
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:24,077
24 hours a day does to your self-esteem.
280
00:11:24,112 --> 00:11:26,441
Gwen, as a professional therapist,
281
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:28,940
let me just say this is no fair!
282
00:11:30,207 --> 00:11:32,071
Whoa, warehouse party.
283
00:11:32,106 --> 00:11:35,269
It's starting right now, and
the Snapchats are dope.
284
00:11:35,304 --> 00:11:36,434
Whatever that is,
285
00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:39,166
it sounds like exactly what I need.
286
00:11:39,201 --> 00:11:41,298
Oh, behave!
287
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,496
That means we're not gonna behave.
288
00:11:43,531 --> 00:11:45,695
Well, after the party,
how about you come by
289
00:11:45,731 --> 00:11:47,093
and pick up your mother?
290
00:11:47,129 --> 00:11:48,992
If you agree, walk out the door
291
00:11:49,027 --> 00:11:52,023
without saying anything!
292
00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:54,789
Oh, looks like it's time for
me to go to Bible study.
293
00:11:54,824 --> 00:11:56,354
Again?
294
00:11:56,389 --> 00:11:57,887
You just went last night.
295
00:11:57,922 --> 00:12:00,352
Oh, it's a long book, Bob.
296
00:12:02,919 --> 00:12:05,814
So what have you been studying?
297
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,446
Obadiah 1:9.
298
00:12:07,481 --> 00:12:08,879
Oh, come on. You made that up.
299
00:12:08,914 --> 00:12:11,344
There's no such thing as Obadiah 1:9.
300
00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:12,443
Yes, there is.
301
00:12:12,478 --> 00:12:14,275
We read that passage at our wedding.
302
00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:17,373
Oh, yeah.
303
00:12:17,408 --> 00:12:19,305
Greatest day of my life.
304
00:12:19,341 --> 00:12:21,104
Alice. Hmm?
305
00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:24,335
Whatever you do, never
forget I'm an ex-cop.
306
00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:26,800
I'm trained to see things
other men don't see.
307
00:12:26,836 --> 00:12:28,999
I notice things other men don't notice.
308
00:12:29,035 --> 00:12:31,797
I hear things other men don't hear.
309
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:34,229
Nothing gets by me, my love.
310
00:12:34,264 --> 00:12:36,894
Nothing.
311
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:40,157
Oh... your wedding vow!
312
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:44,822
But really, I got to go!
313
00:12:48,055 --> 00:12:50,951
So I say we evaluate our
potential relationship
314
00:12:50,986 --> 00:12:53,349
as if it were any other
scientific dilemma.
315
00:12:53,384 --> 00:12:55,181
God, you're perfect.
316
00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:57,379
I'm glad you think so.
I'll factor that in.
317
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:02,943
Well, there it is.
318
00:13:02,978 --> 00:13:05,874
49% we should act on our attraction,
319
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,272
51% we shouldn't.
320
00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:09,805
Did we factor in my new leather jacket?
321
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,370
Yes, right here.
322
00:13:11,406 --> 00:13:14,634
I was hoping it would change things too.
323
00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:21,263
See you tomorrow, platonic co-worker.
324
00:13:21,299 --> 00:13:22,429
Please don't look back.
325
00:13:22,464 --> 00:13:25,294
Please don't look back.
326
00:13:25,329 --> 00:13:27,493
Damn it.
327
00:13:27,528 --> 00:13:30,856
Good-bye, bad boy.
328
00:13:32,491 --> 00:13:34,155
Wasn't this a good idea?
329
00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,187
Absolutely.
330
00:13:35,222 --> 00:13:36,887
Close to the kitchen, bigger TV.
331
00:13:36,922 --> 00:13:38,786
I'm feeling much better.
332
00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:40,984
It's nice to be needed.
333
00:13:41,019 --> 00:13:42,816
Let's drink our tea.
334
00:13:45,748 --> 00:13:48,511
That's whiskey.
335
00:13:48,547 --> 00:13:50,576
Is it?
336
00:13:52,278 --> 00:13:54,307
You know, my mother used
to spoil me like this
337
00:13:54,342 --> 00:13:56,773
when I was sick. Drove my dad nuts.
338
00:13:56,808 --> 00:13:58,472
She was a bit of a free spirit.
339
00:13:58,507 --> 00:14:00,271
One time she pulled me out of school
340
00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:03,768
because it was too nice
a day to stay inside.
341
00:14:03,803 --> 00:14:05,633
Where's your mother now?
342
00:14:05,669 --> 00:14:08,331
I don't know. She left when I was a kid.
343
00:14:08,367 --> 00:14:10,329
She was more into causes and movements
344
00:14:10,365 --> 00:14:11,863
than marriage and motherhood.
345
00:14:11,898 --> 00:14:15,028
She's reached out a few times, but...
346
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,993
I didn't want it.
347
00:14:17,029 --> 00:14:19,990
What kind of a mother
leaves her little boy?
348
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,488
Exactly.
349
00:14:23,922 --> 00:14:26,418
I feel a little tired.
350
00:14:35,782 --> 00:14:38,144
What the!
351
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:42,908
Shh. I just got him down.
352
00:14:47,199 --> 00:14:48,896
What the hell's going on here?
353
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,528
What? What happened?
354
00:14:51,564 --> 00:14:54,825
The bad lady woke you up.
355
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:55,792
That's it, Sandy.
356
00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:58,323
I cannot take this for
one second longer.
357
00:14:58,358 --> 00:15:00,954
Get out of my house!
Nobody wants you here!
358
00:15:00,989 --> 00:15:03,187
I need to talk to Sandy.
359
00:15:03,222 --> 00:15:05,018
Sandy, I need to talk to you.
360
00:15:05,054 --> 00:15:05,984
No, me first.
361
00:15:06,019 --> 00:15:07,417
Nate and I ran all the variables,
362
00:15:07,453 --> 00:15:08,716
and it said we shouldn't be together,
363
00:15:08,751 --> 00:15:09,882
and now I'm miserable.
364
00:15:09,917 --> 00:15:10,881
That's nothing.
365
00:15:10,916 --> 00:15:12,013
Sandy, I went to the church,
366
00:15:12,049 --> 00:15:14,046
and Alice isn't at Bible study at all!
367
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,411
You know what? That's it, guys.
368
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:16,377
Stop.
369
00:15:16,412 --> 00:15:17,909
She's mine.
370
00:15:19,777 --> 00:15:22,074
There's the adulteress.
371
00:15:22,109 --> 00:15:23,939
Shame.
372
00:15:23,974 --> 00:15:25,539
What?
373
00:15:25,574 --> 00:15:27,404
The wife is black?
374
00:15:27,439 --> 00:15:30,601
Oh, I didn't picture that.
375
00:15:30,636 --> 00:15:32,267
What did you picture?
376
00:15:32,302 --> 00:15:33,798
Me.
377
00:15:35,799 --> 00:15:37,130
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!
378
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:38,728
I've got to talk to my mother.
379
00:15:38,764 --> 00:15:41,261
- Those are my suitcases.
- They are!
380
00:15:41,296 --> 00:15:44,625
I've discovered a new me, and
she's better without you.
381
00:15:44,661 --> 00:15:46,091
I always thought I'd put you in a home.
382
00:15:46,126 --> 00:15:48,888
Turns out, it's this one.
383
00:15:48,924 --> 00:15:50,854
Fine. I'll live here forever.
384
00:15:50,889 --> 00:15:52,054
That's enough.
385
00:15:52,089 --> 00:15:54,817
I am gonna take care of
all of this right now.
386
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:57,250
First, Shea, gun to your head,
387
00:15:57,285 --> 00:15:59,149
what's the most important
thing to you right now?
388
00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:01,980
Getting the gun away from my head.
389
00:16:02,015 --> 00:16:03,779
No, don't think, just react.
390
00:16:03,814 --> 00:16:04,912
Your career or this boy?
391
00:16:04,947 --> 00:16:05,876
My career.
392
00:16:05,912 --> 00:16:07,376
There's your answer.
393
00:16:07,412 --> 00:16:08,475
Bob.
394
00:16:08,511 --> 00:16:10,773
Stop projecting your fears on to Alice
395
00:16:10,808 --> 00:16:12,672
and just ask her where she's been going.
396
00:16:12,707 --> 00:16:15,770
All right, Jezebel...
397
00:16:15,805 --> 00:16:17,569
where have you been going?
398
00:16:17,604 --> 00:16:19,801
Fine, I'll confess.
399
00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:21,234
I've been going bowling.
400
00:16:21,269 --> 00:16:22,399
Bowling!
401
00:16:22,434 --> 00:16:23,731
Yeah, I didn't want to tell you
402
00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:26,064
because the team doesn't
want you back this year.
403
00:16:26,098 --> 00:16:28,928
You yell at everybody.
You made Denise cry.
404
00:16:28,963 --> 00:16:30,560
Well, she's a terrible player.
405
00:16:30,595 --> 00:16:34,158
She's in a wheelchair.
406
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:38,023
I thought they liked to
be treated the same!
407
00:16:38,058 --> 00:16:42,319
Okay, bottom line is Alice
is not having an affair.
408
00:16:42,354 --> 00:16:44,284
Good to know. Well, enjoy my mother.
409
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,050
No, no, no! Wait.
410
00:16:46,085 --> 00:16:48,149
You say you're "a new me"?
411
00:16:48,184 --> 00:16:49,482
But isn't that what your mother's
412
00:16:49,517 --> 00:16:51,047
been telling you all along?
413
00:16:51,082 --> 00:16:52,380
That you need to fix yourself up
414
00:16:52,415 --> 00:16:54,078
and get yourself out there again?
415
00:16:55,646 --> 00:16:57,175
I suppose.
416
00:16:57,211 --> 00:17:01,207
And Sandy, what do you
think of this new Gwen?
417
00:17:01,242 --> 00:17:03,171
- You look like...
- What?
418
00:17:03,207 --> 00:17:04,604
A poorly dressed mannequin?
419
00:17:04,639 --> 00:17:07,003
An ad for a depressing dating website
420
00:17:07,038 --> 00:17:08,369
for the elderly divorced?
421
00:17:08,404 --> 00:17:10,301
A hooker from Cleveland?
422
00:17:10,336 --> 00:17:13,697
Just say it!
423
00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:15,629
You look beautiful
424
00:17:15,664 --> 00:17:17,695
and happy.
425
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:20,493
Well, thank you.
426
00:17:20,528 --> 00:17:22,792
You see? It's simple.
427
00:17:22,827 --> 00:17:27,322
Sandy, Gwen wants to feel
supported and loved.
428
00:17:27,358 --> 00:17:31,751
And Gwen, your mom wants to feel needed.
429
00:17:31,787 --> 00:17:34,084
I do need you.
430
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,183
And I love you.
431
00:17:41,714 --> 00:17:42,845
Oh, my God.
432
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,078
Emergency, you guys.
433
00:17:44,113 --> 00:17:45,410
They've changed the part.
434
00:17:45,446 --> 00:17:47,375
It's a southern accent now.
435
00:17:49,042 --> 00:17:50,839
Stella, we really need to discuss
436
00:17:50,874 --> 00:17:52,405
the meaning of the word "emergency."
437
00:17:52,441 --> 00:17:54,204
Stella, we really need
438
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,501
to discuss the meaning
of the word emergency.
439
00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:58,667
What?
440
00:17:58,702 --> 00:17:59,800
That's not how I sound!
441
00:17:59,836 --> 00:18:00,799
What?
442
00:18:00,835 --> 00:18:02,865
That's not how I sound!
443
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,963
She has you nailed.
444
00:18:04,998 --> 00:18:06,262
Let's go home.
445
00:18:06,297 --> 00:18:09,626
Or we could go back to
that warehouse party.
446
00:18:09,662 --> 00:18:10,960
Lot of men there.
447
00:18:10,995 --> 00:18:12,291
Anyone my age?
448
00:18:12,327 --> 00:18:13,291
No.
449
00:18:13,327 --> 00:18:14,623
Let's hit it.
450
00:18:21,397 --> 00:18:22,993
How you feeling?
451
00:18:22,995 --> 00:18:23,992
Physically, better,
452
00:18:23,994 --> 00:18:27,291
but I miss Sandy being here.
453
00:18:27,293 --> 00:18:29,524
It's nice having one of those
older ladies in the house
454
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,488
who takes care of you.
455
00:18:31,490 --> 00:18:34,919
A mother?
456
00:18:34,921 --> 00:18:37,451
Yeah, one of those.
457
00:18:37,453 --> 00:18:39,516
Well, do you think maybe
what you're really missing
458
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:40,848
is your own mother?
459
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,415
Maybe.
460
00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:44,314
You could get in touch with her.
461
00:18:44,316 --> 00:18:46,578
I'm still angry.
462
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:49,975
You can be angry at someone
and still miss them.
463
00:18:49,977 --> 00:18:51,574
Like Mel Gibson.
464
00:18:55,374 --> 00:18:59,336
I'm angry at him, but I
kind of miss his movies.
465
00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:01,701
He would have been great in "Taken."
466
00:19:01,703 --> 00:19:03,434
You know what Liam Neeson's taken?
467
00:19:03,436 --> 00:19:05,166
Mel Gibson's parts.
468
00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:11,495
Do you think maybe you're deflecting...
469
00:19:11,497 --> 00:19:14,159
to avoid talking about
something painful?
470
00:19:14,161 --> 00:19:18,623
Martina, I really don't want
to be therap-ized by you.
471
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:21,289
So that's what brought us to you,
472
00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:22,953
to discuss whether or not Mike
473
00:19:22,955 --> 00:19:24,485
should get in touch with his mother.
474
00:19:24,487 --> 00:19:25,551
I see.
475
00:19:25,553 --> 00:19:27,284
Mike, what we need to do now
476
00:19:27,286 --> 00:19:28,683
is explore all the difficult
477
00:19:28,685 --> 00:19:30,681
and contradictory feelings
that come into play
478
00:19:30,683 --> 00:19:33,480
when making such a potentially
life-changing decision.
479
00:19:33,482 --> 00:19:36,611
Yeah, I don't want to do all that.
480
00:19:36,613 --> 00:19:39,376
I'll just call her.
481
00:19:43,241 --> 00:19:45,704
Hey, Mom, it's Mike.
482
00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:48,802
Your son.
483
00:19:48,804 --> 00:19:50,534
It's, uh...
484
00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:53,233
been a long time.
485
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,831
Maybe too long a time.
486
00:19:54,833 --> 00:19:58,363
So if you get this,
please give me a call.
487
00:20:01,496 --> 00:20:04,058
Martina, I know you're
listening at the door.
488
00:20:04,060 --> 00:20:05,058
Not listening.
489
00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:07,290
Just here in case you need me.
490
00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:09,389
Well, what I said was...
491
00:20:09,391 --> 00:20:12,620
I heard the whole thing.
492
00:20:12,622 --> 00:20:14,386
Look, I don't know if
it was the right number
493
00:20:14,388 --> 00:20:16,183
or if I'll ever hear from her,
494
00:20:16,185 --> 00:20:19,282
but I am glad that I did it, so thanks.
495
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:22,512
You take good care of us.
496
00:20:25,179 --> 00:20:26,843
Well, Nate Johnson, I look forward
497
00:20:26,845 --> 00:20:29,042
to our professional
relationship together.
498
00:20:29,044 --> 00:20:30,641
So do I, Shea Moore.
499
00:20:37,438 --> 00:20:40,867
It seems there's one variable
we neglected to consider,
500
00:20:40,869 --> 00:20:44,398
which is that... that was awesome.
501
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,263
We should consider it again.
33855
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