Original subtitles

(opening theme playing)

(siren wailing)

Cyborg: You don't think I know that she's a robot?

I know she's a robot.

But if she's really part of the family,

Why do they make her sleep in a cupboard?

I mean, she can have a real bed.

Don't they realize she's a small wonder?

Why does this show always get you so worked up?

Yeah, it's supposed to be a comedy, dude.

-(bell chimes) -(gasps)

(squawking)

Hocus-pocus.

Oh, mumbo!

Titans, woah!

(chuckling) magic show.

-Oh, goody! -(crashing)

The teen titans.

You'll never be able to stop...

Do a trick! Do a trick!

Ooh, yes. We would like to see the magic.

Oh...

Okay.

Ta-da.

(gasping) flowers!

They just came out of nowhere.

(gasps)

(sniffing)

This isn't a magic show.

(all shushing)

Can I get a dollar from the crowd?

-Cyborg: Oh, I got one! -Robin: No. Take mine! Take mine!

Beast boy: I've got 20, yo.

You're not supposed to be giving the thief money.

(all shushing)

Amazing!

How in the world does he do it?

He is blowing my mind!

Ooh! (gushing)

Now for my final trick, watch me disappear.

Into prison for 10 to 20 years.

-Ah, come on! -Way to go!

You totally ruined the show!

Why must you hate the magic?

(raven grunting)

(seagulls shrieking)

(meditative music playing)

-(crashing) -(starfire screaming)

Cyborg: Oh, my goodness gracious!

What are we gonna do?

What? What happened?

Robin somehow removed the thumb.

Presto chango!

Oh, it's back on. It's all good, people.

Oh, no! It's gone again!

(screaming)

What is going on?

Magic! That's what.

Seeing that creepy little blue guy work miracles

Has inspired me to do the same.

Hey, beast boy, whoop, got your nose.

Wow, magic.

(screaming) someone call a doctor.

Put it back.

I beg of you.

You guys think that's impressive?

Azarath metrion zinthos.

(bowling pins clattering)

Beast boy: Super lame.

I saw how she did that. She just used a spell.

(sarcastically) yeah, great trick.

(all booing)

-Say, beast boy... -What?

You appear to have something lodged in your general ear area.

Uh, that's just my waxy buildup.

Not that.

There's something behind your ear.

Huh, what's that doing in there?

He pulled a coin from behind beast boy's ear.

Do you keep the coins behind your ear, beast boy?

No, dude, no. Never in my life.

Magic!

(applauding)

Boo!

Why do you have to be such a heckler, rave?

I'm not! It's just that robin's magic is terrible.

-No, you hate everything. -No, I don't.

(upbeat music playing)

Raven: Hate it.

(meowing)

Hate it.

Hate it.

Okay, so I can be negative.

But, robin's dealing with forces more powerful than he understands.

His terrible tricks are bound to anger the magic god.

Behold!

The magic god is responsible for keeping the forces of magic in balance,

Even terrible magic like robin's.

If you don't treat the treat the powers of magic with respect,

You'll be summoned by the magic god to face his judgment,

And be eternally...

Who's ready for more magic?

All: We are!

Titans, I'm about to perform magic's most dangerous trick,

The water torture chamber.

I wouldn't try this if I were you.

I know what I'm doing, raven. I saw it on the internet.

Beast boy, could you help lower me into the water?

(water bubbling)

-This is just stupid. -(all shushing)

Maybe we should get him out of there.

He's fine, rave, it's called building drama.

(gasping)

(coughing)

(weekly) ta-da.

Glorious water trick.

Guys! That beat the missing thumb. The missing thumb.

What is wrong with you people?

He died.

That's what made it such a great trick.

Yes, anybody can survive a trick.

Well, you can't play around with this stuff.

Magic is not a game!

Magic!

Keep it up, and you'll be summoned by the magic god.

And believe me, you don't wanna deal with him.

You don't get it, raven.

I am a magic god.

(exclaims)

Hummus. Hate it.

Schnitzel. Hate it.

Chicken marsala. Hate it.

-What? -(cell phone ringing)

What's wrong with my magic, today?

Robin: Hey, uh, rave, you busy?

Uh, so... (clears throat)

I was, uh, doing some magic... (laughs nervously)

And then this happened.

(roaring)

(growling)

(grunts)

(thudding)

No wonder my magic's off.

You finally upset the magic god,

And now, all magic is out of balance.

Why didn't you listen to me?

I thought you were just being negative.

Whoa! What's... What's going on?

(both screaming)

Magic god: Stand before the magic god.

You have displeased me.

Unless you can impress me with some magic,

You will be banished to the mines forever!

Forgive him, great magic god.

-Robin knows not about his misuse of magic. -(thunderbolt)

Show me a trick, or to the mines, you two.

Let me handle this.

Azarath metrion zinthos.

(snarling)

(dogs barking)

Hate it. To the mines, you two.

You can't send robin to the mines.

He won't last a day down there.

It's not robin I'm sending to the mines, you silly fool.

You have upset the magic god

By pooh-poohing all of his fine magic tricks.

-Me? -Yes!

The magic god hates hecklers.

I know, total downer.

Now, did you say you want to see some magic?

Is this your card?

(gasps) that was my card.

Magic!

Where did the ball go?

Whoo!

Magic!

A coin? Behind my ear?

How absurd and marvelous!

Bravo! Bravo!

You are incredible, robin.

But she is still to be banished to the mines forever!

Please, great magic god, give raven one more chance.

I promise she will not disappoint.

(sighs)

(sarcastically) look, my thumb is missing.

Delightful! Amazing! You have pleased me.

You both may go.

(both screaming)

(groaning)

Sorry, robin.

Your magic may be terrible,

But I can't hate things just because they're terrible.

From now on I'm gonna work on being more positive.

That's it? You're not gonna say anything?

(choking)

I was wondering where that went.

How many of the pongs does he have in there?

Gajillions. Who knows?