Original subtitles

Mr. Count,

Mrs. Countess called,

she looked for you everywhere

she says to rush home right away.

Thank you.

Didino!

Oh Didino, you really want me to die of heartbreak!

But you know it's all evening that I have been looking for you?

I even called the emergency service.

But why mom?

Did not you hear the television?

No.

Well, it said that today a child was kidnapped, this afternoon.

All right, but...

...but what does it have to do with me?

Well, we live in terrible times.

They go around kidnapping children.

Ugh, mother, can you please understand

that I am an adult now?

That I am 32!

You will always be my baby!

At least do not let yourself be heard by the servants, please.

What are you doing there, jackals?

Go away!

To waste the money I give you

in bad class cinemas!

In a miserable environment!

The people who go there are all dirty.

They have scabs!

Throw away that candy!

Now you know what mom is going to do to you?

A nice bath!

No the bath no!

I already had the bath on Tuesday, mom!

Come here, Didino. Take off these clothes.

Eh, we will have to disinfect them, sterilize them.

Indeed no, it's better to burn them

and throw them away by the green cross.

Come on mom, please do not exagerate.

But why do not you want to believe me, they must be full of bugs!

Goodnight Mom!

You know what you have to do tomorrow morning, right, Didino?

Yes, yes.

You know I left on the chair

the silver tie, too.

Mom I do not know if tomorrow

I'll want to come, you know.

In fact maybe tomorrow I stay at home.

Do not joke around, you have to be on time tomorrow morning.

That is the sacrament

most beautiful and moving, in the life of a man and a woman.

Didino!

Dear,

you have come to the house of the Lord

because your love is sanctified

by God, before the minister of the church...

How good they look all three of them.

Christ bless this love widely,

in order for you to be faithful to one another

and hold together the responsibilities of marriage

that enrich and corroborate

after having already consecrated you in the Holy Baptism.

Fernando, do you want to marry Iolanda,

as your legitimate bride,

according to the rite of Holy Mother Church?

Yes.

Iolanda, do you want to marry

Fernando

as your legitimate spouse,

according to the rite of Holy Mother Church?

Yes.

Very good, dear, good.

Best wishes.

Thank you thank you.

It's beautiful, it's beautiful.

- Oh, dear Countess. - Best wishes dear.

I raise the glass.

Thank you, thank you very much.

You are welcome.

Here, the ground for the new seminar

we found it

but we do not yet have accessibility.

The government would...

Honey, it's beautiful like a dream.

Best wishes!

Hurray the bride and groom!

I would starve for him.

What a mother would not do for a son, right?

Who says it!

Well, Didino? Where are you going?

You want a nice ice cream, yes or no?

No, no. That's enough, thanks.

But the strawberries are good, come!

Honey, you need more sweets, hurry.

Yes darling, I run to get them right away.

Alberto, did you see Didino?

I'm worried, it's a quarter of an hour that I do not see him.

Oh my God, where will he be?

I do not know Mafalda, we were also looking for him to take a photo.

Come on, do it!

Here that's good.

Guys, come here.

All of us are here?

But where is Fernando? Come on!

Where is Fernando?

Fernando? But where did he go?

Ah here it is, here he comes.

Sorry.

Sorry mom.

But Didino, you always disappear.

Stop everybody.

I could have spent my first night with you.

If only you had wanted.

Good, good. Stop.

You too, please, with that head, stay still.

Here, good, so...

Mr. Fernando, dinner is on the table.

All right, I'll go down.

Mom, but it's ridiculous.

Cod liver oil is given to children.

Is not it, uncle?

Look, it's better that your uncle doesn't speak.

Come here!

Just a moment Mr. Count,

if you stop your nose you will not notice anything.

Come on, be a good man.

Courage!

Come on, open your mouth, honey.

- You are old now. - You shut up!

Come on, come on, Anchise.

Here, good! Very well.

And now, let's make the sign of the cross.

Mafalda,

I wanted to tell you about that land.

You have to do me a favour, Alberto.

Once you go to the city

you must bring this ring from the jeweler.

Emerald is too loose.

It falls from my finger.

Okay okay.

Maybe I'll drop by on Tuesday.

I told you, for that terrain...

The emerald that the poor Ruggero gave me the day of our engagement.

Eh at that time, yes,

marriage was a serious sacrament.

A nymphomaniac.

That Iolanda is a nymphomaniac.

Did you see how she rubbed against all men?

And before the eyes of her husband, just married.

If I think that...

...shameless,

had set her eyes

on my baby,

I shudder!

But you would not have left me alone, would you?

As a candidate she was not bad,

when her father dies she will inherit a lot of money.

Anchise!

The sparkling water evaporates.

It was not me, I swear.

No, eh?

Call your sister then. Come here right away.

Immediately!

But Mafalda, for some mineral water.

They take everything away from us!

Thieves!

And you,

sit upright when you eat!

Ah, mother!

Hunchbacked and lopsided, like the rigoletto!

If your father were alive,

he would teach you how to sit at the table.

What a formidable man he was!

And what a great hunter.

Tall, strong, virile!

He farted all the time, he did!

Look, you're talking about your father,

have you forgotten?

He only had a bit of aerophagia.

Many have this condition.

He farted so much!

Didino!

Respect your father's memory sit upright!

Do you drink my mineral water?

Oh no Mrs Countess,

I do not even digest mineral water.

Look here dear, the glasses are greasy and greasy.

Eh, the servitude of today.

But where do you think you are?

No! No pinches!

Now go back to the kitchen and do not try anymore.

And you, you want to sit up straight,

Yes or no?

Yes. Ahio, I'll give it to you!

But do not you have a bit of self-love?

Gentlemen, there are still puddings.

Cinema, cinema... ...what cinema.

You should go for long walks.

In fields.

To breathe pure air.

If you insist on sitting in the cinema every afternoon,

do you know how it ends? eh?

Do you want to know how it ends?

That you will twist your spine.

And then, you'll have to go around

with an iron bust.

With an iron bust?

Yes, iron bust.

Night and day. Summer and winter.

You will not be able to swim.

Eh, it's not finished,

you will not even be able to sit still, because...

But no, mom, I do not want it, enough!

Eat it!

...because, the backbone,

ends up on the buttocks.

And you will be all wrapped up in a kind of iron breastplate.

And every time you have to do the pup�

they will open a flap

and they will infile you

a long plastic cone in the seat.

And the day that I will be dead,

you will realize what it means

to no longer have a mother close to you.

Are you listening to me or are you sleeping?

Yes I am listening to you, I understood very well,

when you will be dead.

You will have the body covered with sores,

scabies will come to you, of infected and bloody buboes.

And when you're going to scream

your pus nails will be filled.

You will have dysentery,

when you will poo with that plastic cone.

You will see my dear.

What terrain were you talking about?

It was for those three hectares with the old mill.

You will need to realize.

I have a good deal in my hands,

and with my part...

Your part no longer exists for a while.

You know very well too.

It's useless you know, that you come here and cry misery.

And as far as

selling the land, look I don't even want to talk about it.

I have to think about my baby.

Come!

Come here, that mom will cuddle you a little.

Come.

Dear.

Nobody will ever put me

a plastic cone in the rear.

In the name of the father of the son and of the holy spirit.

Jesus, Joseph and Mary

I give you my heart and my soul.

Jesus, Joseph and Mary

assist me in the last agony.

Jesus, Joseph and Mary may my soul depart in peace.

Oh blessed Lord!

Come on do not be a child, come down!

Come down immediately!

Anchise!

Anchise!

Here I am.

Here I am, Mr. Count.

One day or another you will end up hurting yourself, with these jokes.

I always tell you Mr. Count,

with your mother it does not work.

I do not love you anymore, mother!

Didino!

Didino wait!

And come on, do not get angry.

We'll deal with you later, you know.

Didino! My baby.

Where are you? Come on, do not do this.

Do not let her mother suffer.

Let's make peace, Didino.

Open the door.

Open, my dear soul!

I will not open, rather I throw myself out of the window.

Oh my god.

What a pain to the heart.

Poor little one, that needs to be put

this horrible Nazi uniform to feel strong and protected.

But why do you always take my mom around?

No, go away!

But there's your mother who protects you, that defends you.

Here she is. Be good, be good.

No!

Now it's time to sleep.

As soon as you leave, I throw myself out of the window.

No, no Didino. Do not say these bad things.

Come on, come here.

Come here to your mom.

Here it is. In my arms.

Good boy. Good darling.

Mum.

But why do they all get marry and not me?

Because you have your mother, you do not need another woman.

Do you know what I do now?

I stay here with you, happy?

Like when you were little, and you were so sick.

Oh my poor Didino.

Where does it hurt?

Then, I'll throw myself out of the window tomorrow.

Sleep baby, Sleep honey.

In my arms,

sweet Dreams.

Come on, work that dough!

Oh, God, you scared me, Mister.

But why are you making so many potato rolls?

Tomorrow is San Porfirio the festival of the poor.

Do not you remember?

An oasis of delights.

A different, silent and faithful lover.

A luxury bath.

A big crap!

A kick in the ass!

Mrs Countess. The poor are ready.

As you want them.

Alberto? The speech please.

As every year,

our family,

which has always stood out for its generosity, and its patriot love,

will do bit of charity, to alleviate suffering

of the poorest in our city.

That since the times of lords and principalities

it has always been so rich in tradition and glory.

Charity never seeks its own interest.

Saint Paul to the Corinthians.

Hurray Saint Paul.

Get your fingers off your nose, and go and give the first potato rolls.

With great pleasure, mum.

Ole'.

More potato rolls!

Calm, calm, there is enough for everyone.

Next the first one.

- Can I? - Please.

Alt!

This year there is a surprise.

There is a big news.

Combined with potato rolls there is also a lottery.

A lottery?

Yup.

Because inside one of these rolls

there is an emerald.

An emerald?

Yes, a precious stone of inestimable value.

And he will win it

who will find it in the roll.

Come!

I have it! I found it!

But it's a stone!

Yes it's a stone.

Because I inside many rolls

I put pebbles.

To make the race more exciting.

Warning! Inside one of these rolls

there is the priceless emerald.

It is worth twenty million.

And now eat, let the best win!

Didino! What have you done?

You said mum, did not you?

That we must be generous with the poor.

And don't do nothing, calm those brutes!

Calm, calm!

There is enough for everyone.

Calm, calm.

I feel that this is precisely that of the emerald. There it is!

The emerald, the emerald is mine!

OMG!

The emerald is gone!

My dearest memory,

my engagement ring.

It was my whole life.

Bad criminals!

Thieves! Offenders!

Stop them!

Stop them all!

Let them defecate in the meadow!

Everyone!

In my presence, with your hands tied!

And you!

You know, charity never seeks its own interest.

Saint Paul to the Corinthians, mother.

But really!

It seems you have never seen an emerald.

Of the crazy.

Ruggero.

Ruggero, Ruggero.

Our son is a bad guy! A pervert!

Ruggero.

Do you see how much he's making us suffer?

There is no way for him to obey.

Ruggero.

Now, the emerald has also been taken.

He will kill us one of these days!

No, well maybe not you.

Because, because you're already dead.

Ah Ruggero!

Of course.

You stay there quiet,

and leave me here alone, to suffer!

Here it is the emerald!

See where it is? Here it is the emerald!

Here it is!

Still emerald! Another emerald.

Still emerald.

Anchise!

Kick them all away!

Come on, shoot, Anchise!

Kill them all!

Out!

Out everyone or I'll shoot!

Who has not won the emerald this year don't be discouraged!

Because next year in the potato rolls

I'll put a little handful of it!

Did you find anything?

No, still nothing Mrs. Countess.

Look for it until tomorrow morning if you need to.

What emerald,

we can not find an bug'ass.

But where would it be?

Who is it?

Who's there?

Ruggero?

Ruggero.

You're back?

To keep me company?

But are you really him?

Oh yeah.

You are really you.

My dear Ruggero.

Do not you recognize my voice, Mafalda?

That annoying dysfunction

persecute you even in the afterlife?

Even in the afterlife.

Poor Ruggero.

They stole the engagement ring that you gave me.

The one with the emerald.

Ah, you already know.

Mafalda,

if you want the emerald back,

deliver a million as soon as possible

to our son Fernando.

So he can have a nice trip.

Our son, Mafalda, is a desperate boy.

And this closed provincial environment

aggravates his situation.

Send him abroad.

He needs to live.

He can not remain a prisoner

of this villa.

He has to travel the world, to travel North.

Come on, send him to Denmark.

Will you send him?

Or not? Will you?

Send him to Denmark!

Come on! Take out the emerald.

Do I look like dad, mum?

Do I, mom?

Do not say heresies.

Your father was a fabulous man.

No, you believed it was him!

Because I look a lot like him!

I look like...

I look like dad, right, mum?

Come on, give me back the emerald and I forgive you.

But I do not have a mother! But how many times do I have to tell you?

I do not have it, I do not have it!

Look, it's worse for you, you know?

I never accepted your blackmail.

In short, Mafalda,

how many times do I have to tell you?

The emerald is at the bottom of the trout pond.

Excuse the annoying trouble.

You're a great clown!

Mom you do not understand me, you know.

You never understood me, here's how it is.

Loneliness is the destiny of all great spirits.

Schopenhauer.

Kneeling, in a flexed position.

And female partner, bent.

So, here.

Wait love, wait love.

Ah, this is so,

the 5D.

Here, what they call the Saint Andrew's cross.

Man behind. Well.

Wait up! It is taken, the hooked cross.

The 3F.

Love, the 12R.

Variant F.

Otherwise called, Star of David. The 5-pointed one.

Careful.

Here it is. Here you see?

Nice eh?

So nice, my treasure. Wait up.

So you put...

My God.

2.6. Here it has changed already.

Here is the crossed jump.

You see? The legs at four o'clock.

Wait eh. A leg here,

the other leg here.

No that's my leg, wait.

I can not...

The rustic one,

Ah this. The rustic is beautiful yes.

I like this, I like this, do you know?

Put yourself like this. Love do you like it?

My darling, I love you, do you know?

Wait up!

Now I'll do a very risky one for me, you know?

I know that a German remained crossed for almost two years.

Wait up.

Ah here!

It is the theorem of Pythagoras, love.

This is beautiful because you do the discreet one, see this.

And I do...

Oh God, Pythagoras fell.

I love you, I would marry you too, you know?

If it was not for my mom.

Fernandino!

Hi Gennarino.

But let me see...

...but you have not changed at all.

How many years will have passed? Ten? Twenty?

Eh many, we were kids.

And do you still work in a bank?

No, it was too gray a life.

Too sedentary.

Then you hear, get the calluses on the ass.

No, no. It was not for me.

Yes I know. I understand you.

Ah, good reading I see, good boy!

Oh I always buy it,

you need to keep yourself updated.

Bad times. Hard times.

It would seem that all the values...

We have absolutely no value!

But who dropped this?

I introduce you to Andrea, a friend of mine.

And this is Fernandino,

a childhood friend of mine.

Andrea pleasure.

And now what do you do? Did you come back to live here?

No, I have a dynamic life.

I am always around.

I am interested in ancient things.

And you?

Nothing.

I'm here alone, with my mom.

Are you married?

Who, me? No!

But are we mad?

I prefer life in the open air, doing sports.

Free, free!

Is it true Andrea?

Oh sure.

The two of us are camped down by the river.

Why do not you come visit us?

You could, join us.

Well, if I can someday I'll come visit you.

Who are those girls over there?

Ah these are the women's soccer team.

Ah, so ugly.

Ugly legs.

That one is pretty.

He looks like a boy.

- Which one? - The one wearing stripes.

Ah yes, she looks like a boy.

- What can I get you, Gentlemen? - I would like an ice cream.

Then you complain that you get fat on your hips,

look what a belly you have!

I want an ice cream.

Uh, you are so boring.

All right, get the ice cream.

What would you like, Fernando?

No thanks, nothing.

I can not take anything, out of meals. My mom does not want me to.

Mum does not want me to!

Mum does not want me to!

What are you doing there? You touch yourself?

How how? No, I was looking at the bulbs.

Looking at a bulb.

That is the bulb?

I just do not understand you.

These are entertainments for impotent men.

Oh I know, uncle. Sometimes I think I am, impotent.

Although at certain times like this,

I feel very powerful.

Do not look for excuses.

So I will say it to your mother.

Will you tell mother?

Yes, I will tell it to your mother.

Will you tell her?

Do not tell her!

No! You tell her!

Yes or no? You do not tell her.

Stop a moment, please.

- Do you tell her or not? - No!

Ah here.

Because you know, sometimes I feel like...

...see I am,

sexually shy!

You are a looser.

Looser, come on uncle.

Do not humiliate me now.

It is useless for you to try to get excited

with those dirty magazines.

You'd better follow your instincts

and not to contrast your true nature.

My true nature?

Yes, your nature as a homosexual.

Faggot?

I read Freud, let yourself be told.

You are a little fag.

You are afraid of women.

A little fag?

Oh well...

...yes indeed I,

I have a little fear of women.

And that's why I can not approach them.

- I already told you I'm... - ... a faggot!

But no! I'm a bit shy.

See,

I have never,

I did not even try.

I've never checked. Once in my life.

Help me, Uncle Alberto. Please.

Well, we'll try.

So you like me, right?

Tell me, how do you like me? How do you want me?

Straight? Standing? Over it? Under?

To sit? On horseback? On the carpet? On the ground?

On the toilet?

The toilet?

I kiss you? I bite you?

I eat you?

I suck you? Kiss me all.

I kiss you everywhere?

Do I put soap all over you?

What?

Soap me?

Yes, everywhere.

Then I wash you, I rinse you,

I put the talcum powder on you. Then we roll in the mud.

Both, how nice.

Do you want me to bring you a baby girl with some hair?

How scary, how he trembles!

Do I bring you an old flabby woman?

I bring you a boy? A Negro? An athlete?

Do I tell you things? Do you want me to tell you things?

Come.

Do you want us to be at the beach?

On the beach, it's hot.

You sleep.

You're sweaty, and you're dreaming. I come out of the sea.

I'm all naked. Look all wet.

I'll come on you.

My breast is near your mouth, you are thirsty.

It is salty, see it tastes like the sea.

Lick it.

The breast of Venus coming out of the sea foam.

No, eh?

Do you know that we are on the volcano?

It's hot, the earth is hot.

I roll.

How hot this volcano is.

Pick me up.

We look at the volcano, the eruption.

The eruption!

No, eh?

Here are the little girls who arrive.

Schoolgirls of the third D.

Here they are, all with a collarbone,

with the little bow, the braids, the apron.

In line girls.

Now be careful,

and you will see me and Fernando making love.

One, two, here we make love in front of you.

Do you want us to do it in Piazza Venezia?

Yes, yes. You stand behind me.

You have a big black coat and you wrap me all over.

I slowly raise my fur coat.

And below I'm naked.

We are all pressed, we are right in the pile.

Let's make love among everyone.

Nobody notices it.

And here...

...from the balcony he looks out, him.

He? In person?

Poor, he's a child.

Come, come, I'll cuddle you.

I'll give you a lullaby,

I'll make you sleep.

My child is so tired.

Poor baby.

Because I, because I am his mother.

Mum!

Sorry, sorry.

I have wet pants.

Already?

Ouch! You hurt me, you idiot!

If you tremble like that with your hand

you do not know that I can break the needle, it can be stuck inside.

What fault do I have if you contract the muscle?

You learn to give injections.

The fault is always yours, because you're a moron.

And do not you dare answer me again, do you understand?

Go see what Mr. Fernando is doing.

And then come back here to report, go!

Yes, Mrs. Countess.

Here's your cup?

Do you want...

...the girls,

the volcano?

So, little girls with pigtails on the balcony?

Do you want me to do...

Here, do you like it?

You do not like it?

Here's even more soap.

No, no I'll make you the girl with pigtails.

No, eh? then volcano.

Vulcano or Piazza Venezia?

There, at the balcony there is the Dux, the Dux.

Wet mum, now.

Mum,

with the volcano...

You want the microphone, then!

So here I am,

I choke you while we make love.

And here I put your head under the water.

And I drown you!

- Yes, yes. - No, no. Mister what are you doing?

You gave me the orgasm with your head underneath.

No! Mister! Do not kill her!

Help!

Oh, poor thing!

She had nothing else beautiful.

Courage.

Look, did you tell her the conditions?

It's all OK.

30,000 a month, plus eating and sleeping.

It's a grumpy one. She likes to work.

See how she works. She washes, irons, cooks.

She embroidered all the household linen.

- Aunt Dida is in heaven, - I do not mean to say but...

She is better than that good departed soul.

Yes, yes. She is the best solution.

Do you believe it uncle?

Are you wearing underwear?

Stop that!

It is the best solution.

All right, mother will decide.

As always.

The crippled has no underwear.

- The crippled has no underwear. - Stop!

The crippled has no underwear.

Listen up, you didn't tell me

that the brother is a bit...

You do not have to worry.

Angela is completely normal.

Well, except for the leg.

What did she do to her leg?

Eh poor girl,

the kick of a donkey when she was a child.

Yes, yes. It is the best solution.

Stop it, okey?

Come on, go on!

Go.

So, let me see.

Listen'...

...but you always go around... in this way?

Yes Madam.

What is that?

What kind of bra you wear under there?

It is obscene. You need something more serious.

Take it off immediately.

I only have this one.

You now take this off right away

and put on something more decent.

Something that crushes you a little

all this stuff.

You will feel better even in health.

Do you brush your teeth?

Let me see your nails.

Retention. Modesty. Honesty.

Otherwise I'll send you back to the reformatory.

Anchise?

But are you sure,

that there was not another

more aged one?

No, madam.

Tell her to take a nice bath.

And clear herself well.

Give her one of poor Driade's aprons.

Did you understand?

She needs to fit it.

And start working.

Hurry! Hurry, hurry!

What are you doing there?

At work, at work.

I told you to take it off!

Mom, dad, do not cry.

I returned home..

...to my dear home...

...to mum, who's waiting for me...

...trees...

...my white little house.

Angela?

Angela?

Hurry up!

Madame wants to pass you the magazine.

And you turn around, I have to dress.

I'm your uncle!

I held you so many times when you were little.

You know how to say it, right?

To look, you have to pay.

And to touch?

To touch,

you must marry.

Do not worry, you'll find the idiot.

Don't worry!

Yeah right.

And who would take me?

They will take you, yes.

With this crazy leg.

But where do these people keep sugar here?

Sugar?

Ah, good morning.

I think it's over here.

Thank you.

Here, up here, up.

Go.

But... and if I fall?

Do not be afraid, I'll hold it for you.

But here there is no sugar.

Higher, higher. Above.

Higher!

I am so sorry!

Excuse me.

What do you do on Sunday?

Well,

I work, no?

Because if you had Sunday free,

you could come for a half-service

at my home.

Ah here it is.

Indeed, if you want,

you could do

a full service, too.

You ruined the service, ugly idiot!

The Japanese service.

Now to repay it,

you will have to work two months

without taking the pay.

And for a week, eat only bread and water.

To meditate on your stupidity.

And you? What were you doing here?

I was helping this ugly idiot.

Clean up!

They break everything, everything.

It's your fault the house is going down the drain.

Ah, look. About Mafalda.

For those bills...

No endorsement.

Even you think only to send me to ruin.

But Mafalda, it's just a little signature.

And do not try

to falsify my signature.

Like last time.

Or I'll make you end up like Silvio Pellico,

I will.

No thanks.

There is a package for Mister Fernando.

From Casablanca, Africa.

From Casablanca?

A package from Africa for my Didino?

And who can it be?

Luana Queen Fortesia.

I was expecting mom, it's a package,

it's a friend's gift.

Of a friend?

And do you have African friends, Didino?

I?

Yes, I met him by correspondence.

He is a surveyor.

Ah, but you have to open it.

No, no mom. Forget it.

They are exchanges between floriculturists.

These are, special bulbs.

Ah, bulbs.

They are desert flowers.

How beautiful!

I've never seen a desert flower.

You know, the bulbs are all the same.

Here you see, mom,

this surveyor, he did...

Oh how wonderful. And it also has hair.

But, Alberto!

There is a mistake! They will have the wrong address.

Of course! It's obvious. They must have the wrong address.

Indeed!

No, no. This is precisely the address.

Ah is this it?

To my sister, Peppa,

Am I beautiful?

Anchise?

Anchise!

Where are you?

But you must stay close to me.

Always near, always.

Look, look, Fernando.

How beautiful!

Come, come.

Here, this way!

Anchise!

I'm here, ma'am.

Anchise?

Ah, I'm tired. Now stop.

Let's all go over there on the lawn.

Come on, guys.

Come all on the lawn.

Over there, over there.

- Uh so hot! - Iolanda?

Thank you.

Thank you?

I wanted to thank you for the money.

I will send them to my mother

to take care of my brother.

He suffocates.

What money?

The money you put in the prayer book for me.

Nobody has ever been so kind to me.

I also made this dress for me.

Angela?

Serve breakfast, quick!

Anchise, give me

mineral water.

Mom, can I sit here?

Yes Dear.

You saw how she limps Mafalda's new little maid?

Would you like a sandwich, Mr. Alberto?

But you know you're very well

with this new dress?

What's this?

A gift?

Thank you.

Ah, thank you.

No, no. Take this.

I did it for you.

There is more ham.

Ah well.

Turn that radio off.

It ruins the whole country atmosphere.

I wonder why you like so much

to listen to the game.

The lawns are made for picnics.

Not to kick a ball.

Fernando?

Do you know where we are?

Yes. No, where are we?

Near the church.

A church?

But how can you not remember?

The church of our games.

Come on, let's go see it again.

Fernando?

Help me to collect some daisy?

They will notice it.

Come on, no.

Come on then.

Look, Fernando.

What?

Do you remember that trip a long time ago,

with you as well?

No, I do not remember.

We stopped right here,

in the abandoned church.

And you were so thirsty.

And I told you,

drink,

drink.

No I do not remember.

Come on, drink.

Drink your milk.

I am not thirsty.

Come on then.

Actually I just drank a soda.

The other night

I made love with my husband, and I called him Fernando.

Eh but he is called Fernando as well, sorry.

Yes, but not Fernando like him,

Fernando like you.

What are you doing?

Sad and humble village bells.

They suggest tenderness, do not they, Father?

Slow and far, while I think of you,

the bell rings, in the little church of Jesus.

What Jesus,

this is your wife.

Your wife!

I do not think so, she was here.

Iolanda?

Iolanda?

Iolanda?

And here the cases are two:

or the sacristan got drunk,

or your wife is in a hurry.

Take my ear off.

Come on, love, come on.

What a shame!

Fernandino!

And so you came to see me?

But...

...but what do you have there?

Nothing nothing.

It happened

something a little

embarrassing.

Come on, come.

See how well we are organized.

In the manner of the old pioneers of the West.

They dug gold, and we dig the Etruscan tombs.

Andrea, get a beer.

Here, sit here.

Yesterday, we found in a grave,

a piece that is amazing.

Get it Andrea.

You'll see, a fabulous object,

to be stuck.

Of those things that are rarely found,

but when they are found they are marvels!

Slow

slow,

slow!

Do you like it?

Well,

it's beautiful.

But look what I did!

Damned!

I do not know.

But what happened to you?

But nothing,

there was a girl,

which among other things I do not like,

that wanted to come with me.

And it was such an embarrassing thing.

Women who do this bother me.

And to you Andrea?

I do not like women either,

when they do that...

Come on, do not think about it anymore.

Come come.

Think about having fun.

Ahia Luca!

Say, you remember at school

when we played to fight?

And you were John Wayne, and me White Feather?

Do you remember?

- The Indians were hunting for us! - Oh my!

Do you want to see? Come on!

- Stop that! - Come on then!

Defend pale face!

Do you give up?

I give up!

Ah, you give up!

No, it's too comfortable!

Now the best!

Revenge of White Feather!

I am White Feather.

And I'll make you suffer, the extreme...

Where are you going?

Come!

What are you doing? We are kidding!

Stop! Come here!

What did you understand?

Come here! It was just to laugh.

You have misunderstood!

Come back!

Come here, let's play again!

Come back. Come here. Come on.

Come on, let's talk about it for a moment.

What are you doing?

Nothing nothing.

I was playing with two of my friends.

Finally you gave free rein

to your instincts.

Because you are a faggot.

It's useless,

you're a little faggot!

Mister?

They wait for you in the living room for tea.

His Eminence is also there.

Oh yes?

So I get dressed and go down.

- Good! - Very good! As always!

Brava!

Thank you.

Very good.

And then this is my favorite piece.

Too good.

I remember I heard it last time at the concert for the deaf.

What a pity!

- And I was not there. - But this time you were great.

I was in Montecatini for my constipation.

And how it is that we do not see among us your son?

He is so shy.

When there are too many people, he always feels a little embarrassed.

And he has not had those annoying anymore...

Annoying?

Disturbances.

No, no, no. He completely healed.

Now he's serious, quiet.

He is very busy.

He studies very much, you know?

Ah, he's really a golden boy.

He's a golden boy.

Maybe there were like him.

Too bad he's so shy.

Yes, a shy boy.

Polite.

Sexual freedom.

Sexual freedom for children!

Sexual freedom.

Moms at home!

Moms go home!

Moms go home!

Sure,

that between you and your poor aunt,

the difference is so great.

40 years.

Eh but I thought another difference.

Even with you there are 40 years.

Be good!

You cheated I saw you!

But no mom.

Yes, you cheated.

Why do you do these things to your poor mother?

You cheated, shame on you!

But do not scream mommy, please.

Yes instead, I cry as much as I like.

So that everyone can hear me!

My son cheats me!

Mum!

This ball was...

...here!

And you put it

here!

But it's not mommy, I do not want to cheat you.

Look, you're wrong. This ball was exactly here.

This ball was here.

And you cheated me.

Look mom that here if there is someone who cheats it's you! Clear?

What did you say?

I said if there's anybody who cheats, this is really you! Clear?

You are not my child!

They exchanged you!

With another child in the cradle,

when I gave birth to you!

You're not my mom!

You're the one who traded me

for a piece of bread

from a passing gypsy!

I will not play with you!

Never again! I swear!

I swear!

Never again!

And I will not leave you anything!

I leave everything to the bishop!

All!

Mr. Count?

I bring you a bandage?

And iodine?

Go to hell!

All right, sir.

What a hole,

blood still comes out.

But there's no fear, you know?

There is a remedy for fresh wounds.

Here,

I'll wash it now.

You will see that the blood stops.

The only thing is that it will swell a lot.

Does it hurt you so much?

No.

Do you know what you should do?

We should put

a steak on the eye.

In my country it is done this way.

Of raw meat, you put on the eye and it does not swell.

I found it again this night

your gift.

Under the pitalino?

Under the pitalino, yes.

Two 10,000 cards.

I sent it to mom,

to be able to send Peppe to madmen.

Peppe, your brother?

Yes, Peppe my brother.

You,

You're too kind with me, such a gentleman.

Too kind.

But no! It's nothing.

It's nothing, it's not.

I'll do it next time, you know,

a nice gift.

Mum?

What's up?

Mum, I want to tell you something.

I was cheating.

The croquet match,

you won it, you know?

Yes mom, because you are good.

You are the best

and most beautiful mum in the world.

Poor Didino.

How good you are.

And I hurt you so much at the forehead.

It was not your fault, It was a mistake.

No, mine.

No, it was my fault.

No, mine.

I have been

impulsive, bad.

Luckly, I have to go

confess, tomorrow.

It will not happen again!

Oh finally you eat.

Trout again, Anchise?

Eh since we emptied the vessel, Madame Mafalda,

we must finish them

or they go bad.

How many are there still?

In the fridge 62.

Sorry but now what will we eat?

Trout for a month?

Yup.

They are good for children.

They are full of phosphorus.

Mum! Mum!

See what a surprise!

There is your emerald in my trout!

No! Come here!

Yup! If you with the other hand give me a million to go to Copenhagen.

Ugly blackmailer.

You should be ashamed.

To blackmail your own mother this way.

If you ask me that,

I will not give you not even a penny.

So I'll eat it!

No!

No, give it to me!

I've got it down you know?

No! Wait up!

If you spit it, mom

gives you another pound of gold.

Like when you lost your teeth.

And give it to me, give it to me!

Give me that.

All right.

All right honey.

You can keep it.

You are my heir,

I trust you.

Always better to be guarded by you, that ends up in the belly

of a poor lousy man.

You can also hide it,

in a safe place.

Where you want.

In your desk,

for example.

So,

I can give it a look,

occasionally.

Hello!

And this?

I'll give it to you.

Keep it as my memory.

Yes but I recommend,

do not say anything to my mom.

Well I do not know.

As long as they were money,

but,

this where do I put it?

Put it...

...put it in an inaccessible place!

In the beans?

But no, you have many places

where you can hide it.

You can put it,

in the edge of the skirt.

Or,

in the bra.

Or in the underwear.

Or even inside your body.

It's really cute, you know?

I like it!

So green,

cute!

But it's a solitary you know?

But it does not matter, sir,

it is the thought that is worth.

It's what matters,

one must not excuse.

Listen next time,

next time

I'll give you an even nicer gift.

But why are you doing this, Mister?

Not here either.

Here?

Nothing.

Let's see here.

It would have been too easy!

What do you do? Are you kidding me?

Ugly rascal.

Coward, he makes fun of me.

Search, search, search that always at the corner the coin ends up.

I'll find it sooner or later.

I will find it!

At the cost of having to overturn upside down the whole house!

But sorry, you did not say that you left it to me?

Yes, but now I've changed my mind.

Give it back immediately!

No, no, no. I will not give it to you.

Oh my God, I was about to fall.

Impostor.

It's not there,

it is in a dark cave.

Help!

I'm falling like Driade!

No! Didino!

Didino!

Didino!

Didino!

Didino?

Didino,

treasure.

Sweetheart!

I'm not dead!

I made a joke! I made a joke!

Which?

Which dark cave?

I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you.

What has happened? Did he fall?

Did you get hurt, Mister?

Go away!

Did you give it to her?

No!

Traitor!

The engagement ring your father gave me!

- No, no. Mum mum! - You gave it to her! To her!

To this bitch!

Help!

Give it back!

Give me back what is mine.

Mom wait!

Come here! Do not run away!

Help! Help!

Bad shameless!

Come here!

Where did you put it?

Help!

Tell me where you put it!

Help!

Now I'll show you, you know!

Come here I told you!

Do not run away!

Mom, it was me.

Stay still! Stay still!

Mum, please.

There it is.

Here it is.

Here concentration camp, lager.

Do not move Mrs Countess.

Otherwise I'll throw you

in the concentration camp!

OMG!

Who are you?

I am the ghost of the great fuhrer.

Here in the house of your son Fernando,

because I thought that when the countess

saw the ghost of the great fuhrer

she'll get a stroke and die!

So your son Fernando can get married.

I am here to witness your passing.

Help! OMG!

Fernando?

Fernando yes!

He's a great potential fucker.

And now he must marry with good pure Aryan girl

with big boobs.

And make many children.

To the greatness of the third reich.

Mum?

But, mom?

Did not you like it?

Did not you have fun?

Go away.

Go away and leave me alone.

This was not a joke.

This time you were serious.

Otherwise you did not put yourself

those horrible mustache.

You wanted to make me

die out of fear.

Is it a confession?

Say it.

Admit it,

tell me in the face,

that you decided to abandon me.

I understood, you want to leave me alone.

Like a dog!

I know I know.

No, my mom.

But how do you think about these things?

I will never leave you, I will not leave you.

I sacrificed, I have sacrificed my whole life for you.

And now that I've grown old.

I will never have a mother as beautiful as you.

I will never find such a beautiful woman.

Never, never.

My baby.

Dry the tears.

Never.

Treasure.

My baby.

What would I do if you left me?

Mom, can I come to bed with you?

Yes, dear, please.

Come come.

How beautiful.

Come next to your mother.

So, like when you were little.

Here in my big bed.

Very good.

Like a good baby.

Do you want me to sing you Lili Marlene?

No, sing me our song.

Yup.

Sleep baby, sleep baby...

Hey, Angela?

Mister? What are you doing here?

I'm here.

I wanted to see you again.

Mum does not want me to come to the kitchen.

And not even here.

But I wanted to see you anyway.

Then we will have to wait when I have washed

all these clothes,

Three days.

It was my fault.

I made everyone think,

that you were a thief.

But it is not absolutely true.

Well,

it does not matter.

Go away! Go away!

But listen to this night I come to you.

Yes but...

Who were you talking to?

Eh? With nobody.

I was saying a prayer.

And the soap you consume,

you will pay for it with your salary.

So stupid!

I will never have the courage.

Angela!

Angela!

Now you will not need dolls anymore.

You are afraid, Miater.

No, it's because I heard that noise.

You are afraid of your mother.

No!

I am not afraid of anyone, I am not afraid.

It's useless,

you are like a slave.

Oh yes? I'll show you,

if I'm a slave, you know.

I'll show you.

Come here!

What?

A slave she says.

- Come here. - Where are you taking me?

I am taking you here.

I am not a slave.

No, sir, no!

No, please.

Here.

Here, I want to do it here.

No, not here!

Yup! I want to do it here.

- Please. - I'll get you naked.

Are you crazy?

What? No!

I want to do it here.

Mum?

No!

Be quiet, she'll wake up.

Mum!

No, please!

Mommy?

Are you crazy?

Please, please.

Dear mother!

Look.

No, please.

Look.

I'm making love with Angela!

Didino! Didino!

Didino!

What's going on?

Didino.

Oh that's great!

Oh that's great!

Didino.

Didino!

Didino! Didino!

Didino.

Didino no, stop!

Stop, stop!

Stop!

Leave my son, bitch!

Leave me mom.

Stop! I said stop!

Didino, stop, stop! That's enough!

That's enough!

Water! Water!

Anchise!

Anchise!

Water! Bring a bucket of water!

Didino stop!

That's enough! That's enough! That's enough.

So?

So your mother has not yet recovered, but she is strong.

Yes, all right. But the heart? The pressure?

You know at her age.

No, she's healthy. She is only psychologically shocked.

I prescribed a sedative.

But you know, in these cases, the medicines have little effect.

Then I? What should I do?

Be close to her.

Help her. With love, understanding.

My dear, it was you

the cause of her collapse.

Now you have to help her get well.

Bye!

Up early, you do not have to stay

in this house one more minute.

And thank heaven

that we have not even reported you.

But why denounced?

How why?

What have I done?

Acts of libidine in private thalamus.

And you're lucky that we only send you home.

But I do not want to go home,

Let me apologize to Mrs. Mafalda.

And then I want to talk to Mr. Fernando.

Angela!

Mister!

Angela!

Mister Fernando?

They are sending me away.

Yes I know. I'm sorry.

I would come with you, you know, but I can not.

You can not?

What can I do

with mum in these conditions.

All right, it does not matter.

Will be for another time.

Yes, I promise you that when I can, that is, when mom is better,

I will join you.

Because I want to marry you, do you know Angela?

I want to marry you too.

Listen, send me some postcard.

Because I make the collection.

Yes, I will write to you.

Angela! Let's go!

Send the coloured ones!

Mister Fernando?

What's up?

Mister Fernando?

There's a package for you.

I was playing poker,

alone.

It comes from Denmark.

Ah yes, yes. Thank you.

They are Danish gardenia seeds.

And this is from Angela.

Ah, thank you.

He says she always thinks about you.

She also says that you had promised

to visit her.

Yes, yes. All right.

One of these days I will go there.

Yes, but how could I do

with my mother in these conditions.

See what a point!

I will also win this time.

And with the coat.

My point.

Do not talk nonsense.

The point is mine, you see a mile away.

Let's measure, do you want to see that it's my point?

You do not want to make me angry, like last time.

It's mine.

No!

It's mine!

It's mine.

No, it is mine.

Now I'll show you if the point is yours.

Run.

Run.

Go get it,

otherwise it goes down the slope and it ends up in the trout tank.

Be careful not to get lost.

Do you remember when you were little?

Always chasing the ball.

And it always ended that you'd get lost in the grove.

And you started crying.

Angela.

Mister!

You're back?

Yes, Mister.

For me?

For you, Mister.

But,

but I can not talk to you now.

Why,

because there's mum.

But you wait for me here.

At 9 here.

Do you promise me?

I promise you.

And this time

we'll leave together.

And we will get married.

Didino, did you find her?

Come come.

Let's go, let's continue.

I do not want to play anymore.

Why?

Why do not you want to play anymore?

Are you in a bad mood?

Are you, are you tired, baby?

You want us to play cards?

At ramino?

I do not feel like it.

I do not like doing anything anymore, Mom.

Would you like to play chess?

Mum,

I can no longer live without Angela.

Is she here?

Yup.

And did you see her?

I decided to go with her.

Alright then.

You are big now.

And you can make decisions by yourself.

I can no longer

oppose your will.

Your wishes.

To my happiness, mother.

All right, your happiness.

If you are happy, I am happy too.

She is a good girl,

healthy.

And if you really love her, I think that it is right

that you go with her, that's right.

Oh thanks!

Thanks Mom.

You are the most

beautiful mother that I've ever had in my life.

And when I leave tonight...

this evening?

Yes mom.

This evening.

Have you decided to leave tonight?

Forgive me mother,

but I will leave immediately after the party.

On my birthday?

Happy birthday mum.

Thank you, my child.

Thanks, honey.

So, a hundred of these days, mom.

You are very dear.

One-hundred of these days.

It's easy to say a hundred of these days.

And meanwhile, every year that passes, I always see on the cake

an extra candle.

You say so every year.

I hope,

to make it again

with a single breath.

I help you.

No, no!

I want to do it alone. It's bad.

No, no.

No, no!

But,

I am all dirty now.

Well not bad.

Come let's go upstairs.

Mom will prepare you

a nice bath.

What?

A bath, now?

Especially since you have to leave, I want

I want you to go clean, in order.

But?

Come up.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, come.

Come on, let's go. Come with mum.

Come on, like a good guy.

Let's do it soon.

You will see,

we will do very soon, come.

No, leave it to me.

I'll do everything.

Like when you were little.

Do you remember how much fun we had?!

Come on.

Get in the tub.

How beautiful you are.

You're really well done.

Not like your father, which was dry and hard, looked like stone.

You are...

...you are...

...so sweet.

So soft.

So tender.

Mum?

You tickle me, mom.

Shut up, dear.

It's me who made you.

And I have the right to caress you.

Whenever I want.

Even because,

even because

if you go away tonight,

this is the last time

that your mother can make you a bath.

Mom, mom what are you doing?

Mum?

I'll let you stay with me forever, honey.

Mum!

Forever, honey!

Sweetheart. Joy of my life.

Joy of my life.

My only son.

Sweetheart.

My darling, Didino!

Do not leave me.

Dear.

My only treasure.

Joy of my life.

My life!

Do not leave me.

Do not leave me!

Didino.

Didino.

Didino.