Original subtitles

Come play with me, Lindi.

I'd rather be fat than stupid.

You ugly… Really annoy me…

I get it from your mother!

Where are we eating?

Why don't you put a cigar in his hand?

I want…

My friend, the sad news is that I won't be able

to drop you at Park Station tomorrow, I have to go wax.

Hah!

Ah, friend, Duma just mentioned a trip this weekend and my pubes just sprouted.

Check it out.

So now you're ditching me for the dick you've known for three weeks?

Even Eddie and his overpopulated teeth, I would try him.

Oh, Eddie.

Listen, you don't need to kiss him,

just close your eyes.

Wam, bam, thank you, ma'am. Done!

He comes, you cash in.

You're mad!

You go first.

But, Mr. Han…

Dudu…

what did you want me to do? Get fired from work?

I'm on my way, like I said. I'm in a taxi, the driver is going slowly.

Bro.

Please could you go faster, I'm begging you. I'm in a hurry.

It's just that you are going 50 in a 100 zone.

So you're teaching me how to drive now?

Why don't you…

Eish, the tyre.

Oh my God!

-Sir? -Hello, Sis.

Please may I get a lift to Durban?

Bra.

Yes, sis.

How long until we get there?

We're 20 kilometres outside Kimberley.

-Kimberley? -Yes.

I said I was going to Durban, how are we outside Kimberley?

I had a package to collect from Kimberley.

Why didn't you say so? I wouldn't have gotten in!

-Please stop here! -You didn't ask.

Please stop! Please just stop…!

You might even rape me! Please stop!

My vanity case!

Bro.

Bro. Please help me.

I need to get on. I got dropped off by a truck. I'm going to Durban.

Sis, the taxi is full. Where will you sit?

Oh, please just squeeze me in next to you.

-No, no, no, Sis. -Your buttocks

is going to burn if you sit here.

-I don't want trouble. -How much do you have?

I can pay however much, even double the fare. How much do you want?

-How much do you want? -Thank you.

Sis. This should do…

-What? -Hurry up, hurry up!

Thank you.

Lady…

You sure have money to waste.

How much did you give that guy?

I gave him R200.

He gets off at the next T-Junction.

I leave him right there.

-Hey! -Asshole!

Where were you?

My sister missed every important part of the ceremony.

I'm sorry.

You don't have your family…

No child, no serious job.

What could have held you up?

My child.

My daughter, my treasure.

-Hi, Dad. -What went wrong?

I'm sorry, Dad.

I had to work. I couldn't get a day off.

Because you failed…

Because you failed to support me.

You are going to MC at my reception.

Go get changed.

You're filthy.

You've slimmed down…

Slim where?

Can you see this belly or are you blind?

My wife.

What's wrong now…?

Where do I go?

How are you?

-I'm well thanks. -I'm well.

How many do you have?

My daughter.

Dad.

Hi Auntie.

When can we expect lobola for Buyi?

My daughter is a lesbian.

Good evening.

In Zulu, they say you've got nice legs.

She was very young…

-My daughter. -Dad?

I'd like to hope this kind of thing doesn't happen ever again.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Will you be okay?

Yes Dad, I'm sorry.

Take care of her.

What?

We could've shared the bed. I have no problem.

Still as crazy as ever.

My parents are going to kill me.

Good morning, Mom.

My child.

Are you okay?

Thank you, son.

-Good morning, Mom. -Tell me…

What do you think you were doing yesterday?

Let's give her a chance.

Please sit down.

Stop eating like a buffalo.

This isn't a fat cake.

It's biriyani.

Dad, how come he has an Indian name?

Stop asking so many questions.

And behave like a lady.

I'm sorry, Mom.

What were you doing with Greg?

Nothing happened with Greg. He slept in the car.

Greg is a respectable young man, who is marriage material.

Did you actually think he could love a drunk like you?

You disappoint me.

I'm always a disappointment to you, Mom.

I'm sorry.

You know, Buyi…

what you did hurt me.

But I woke up this morning thanking God I'm part of two families.

And I have a husband who loves me.

I wish that one day you could have the same.

Take care and behave.

Take lots of pictures.

Okay, Mom.

Bye, Dad.

I love you too, Dad and thanks for everything.

Wouldn't you like to go and freshen up so you could join us for breakfast?

No, not so fast. Tell me something…

Has it ever occurred to you to say something to her?

Even in this instance, you have nothing to say?

She continues to dig her own grave right in front of you,

but you insist on making excuses for her.

No, no, my love.

I'm not making excuses for Buyi.

Perhaps it was funny at 20 or 30…

I'm not 40, Mom, I'm 38.

You look really pretty

and that dress looks nice on you.

You can sit now, my girl.

Buyi, oh no!

Look at this child…

You're messing on your clothes.

I don't know how you turned out like this.

How was the cake going to survive if the scale didn't survive?

Okay, here we go…

No such thing… She loves you.

You know what, my friend?

…my friend.

Okay, let's go then.

-Where are we going? -Let's go.

-Oh, my God. -Let's go.

I am going to reveal to you what no other woman has ever seen.

What's this?

You'll have to detox.

-There's no way I am drinking that. -Who said anything about drinking?

Of course, you won't be drinking this.

My butt hurts.

That's what I call progress, you'll be fine.

What kind of progress… like I said, we should have stayed in,

we order pizzas and male strippers.

No way. No way my friend.

Why would you buy me a drink in a club full of men?

Listen, today,

I'm on the hunt for a footballer with a six-pack.

Not the soccer players that you guys meet.

Okay.

But then again…

I would rather be miserable in a private jet

than have fun in a shack.

So. Did you call him…

-Big kit-kat? -I wanted to cry.

Don't know what a grown black man is doing with cats.

It's proper witchcraft.

Friend!

Concentrate Mama.

Is he referring to me as Mama?

My friend, my friend, my friend.

What happened?

How are you?

Oh, please.

He's here. He's here.

The gift for all. My brothers, my sisters.

Hey, that's a starter.

Oh, prophecy papa.

Yes, man!

Pa pa pa pa.

Father, Father, Father!

He knows.

Let's go get baskets.

-Thokz. Listen here. -Yeah?

Excuse me.

What's so funny?

If Greg's looking for comedians, this Pastor is the man.

We're here for serious business stop talking crap.

If you see a man put R50 in the basket, you know he lives downtown.

Or in the township.

And in the meantime, he's waiting for a huge miracle.

R100, you'll suffer together.

R200, he's married and he cheats.

He has a lot of children in and out of wedlock, it's a mess.

You know if he puts in R500 and above, he's worthy.

I'm telling, my friend, that's who we're looking for.

Young Lu.

No, no. How big do you need to get to stop eating everything?

Oh, Brother.

Why didn't you come in?

Ouch, man!

My Lord.

I'm going to kill this idiot.

We're going to have to get fit

in order to slay when we go shopping for men.

It's not right.

Why don't you just tell him that your plans and his are totally different?

You have two jobs.

Come, friend.

Do you see how many white men are here?

Check out his penis bulge.

You'll end up a punching bag for the rest of your life.

-Who is he? -I don't want to tell you.

I once had a huge crush on him…

He's hot.

I didn't leave to give you space,

Undress the man and get to work!

I don't know how you do this.

Sharp.

My date will organise me a drink if I need one.

Why aren't you leaving?

I'm here already and the vultures are checking my ass.

Sharp.

Just mind your business.

Help!

My friend, I'm so sorry.

he just started shaking.

Is that your response?

I don't know why I keep on listening to you, with your fucked up shit.

What is that supposed to mean?

I am in this mess because of you!

This is all you!

Yeah, my friend, I was only trying to help.

I don't know who told you I'm your charity case.

And don't go around telling yourself that you are better.

These men you sleep with and your whorish tendencies.

Hold it right there.

These men I sleep with pay for this house.

As fat as you've become, this body feeds you.

The men I sleep with,

pay for the car we drive around in.

How about the man you killed in the house paid by all these men?

I don't care, I never asked you.

What's so funny?

Yes, man.

Not all of us own a club that pumps in money left, right and centre like you.

Plus there is still black tax.

I've hardly been here for five minutes

and you're already making assumptions about me.

My friend…

Oh, you know, this is just what I need.

I slept with Greg.

You know.

What was I supposed to do?

But now it's awkward.

Are you surprised?

It must feel awkward, because this is just a charity fuck.

Okay, forget it.

But what I'm saying is, Greg is a nothing.

Oh. It's your sister.

-Dudu? -Yes.

Dudu.

I trust that this will be a lesson learned.

When I tell you to lose weight you think I hate you.

You aren't feeling the pain of injecting your father with insulin every night.

I have to monitor his diet with him not caring.

And today?

Foot gone… Foot gone…

Mmm, I thought that was you.

My daughter, your mother likes to exaggerate.

I still have the other leg.

I'm sorry.

Oh, don't be. I'm alright.

It's not bad.

But,

It's just that sometimes…

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Ma! Dudu!

Ma.

Dad?

Dad?

Dudu!

Dad?

Dad?

Mom.

You see, footless man.

Your jokes aren't funny.

I don't care, I still have the third leg.

My children…

I'm going to rest.

Huh? Dudu.

So you guys took the wedding family picture without me.

And where were you exactly?

I thought maybe you were gonna use one of the pictures where I'm in it, you know.

Yes, Buyi, I'm such a wifey… So what's your problem?

You know, Buyi.

I'm younger than you…

But not even once did you call to check up on me.

I'm sorry Dudu, I mean.

Do you know how many times I tried calling wanting to tell you about Dad?

And what is…

I'm sorry. I thought you forgave me.

You know you don't see.

Oh, come on!

Greg, what are we going to do?

I told you I'm not going to do it.

Let's go see your sister making a fool of herself.

She's going to embarrass us.

You even want to step on me.

Take him up, please.

Up use your muscles, bra. Up!

My family is right in front.

My God!

So much crowd?

Hi. Hi. Good evening.

Because you're not married, now you're stressed out.

Why is that happening?

There's this one question. Where's the man? No, man!

Why is this dark? Where's Khanyisile Mbau with the bleach?

Just make sure you don't carry any underwear.

Oh no, what happened?

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

I see you've grown.

Thank you… even in your condition, you made it.

Thank you, Dad. Even in your condition.

Thank you, Mom.

Listen here…

You're just like your father.

She's just like you, Mom.

-Buyi. -Are you serious?