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1
00:00:02,737 --> 00:00:04,633
Pretty ironic, huh?
2
00:00:04,732 --> 00:00:06,162
What is?
3
00:00:06,262 --> 00:00:08,890
You need to see in order
to tighten your glasses,
4
00:00:08,989 --> 00:00:11,484
but you can only see by
wearing your glasses.
5
00:00:11,583 --> 00:00:14,143
That's not really ironic.
It's more of a Catch-22.
6
00:00:14,243 --> 00:00:16,305
It's like if you had
a hearing aid
7
00:00:16,405 --> 00:00:18,734
and to adjust it,
you had to hear things.
8
00:00:18,833 --> 00:00:20,862
I'd be turning mine off
right about now.
9
00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,822
No, wait. It's like if they had
a device that people
10
00:00:23,921 --> 00:00:26,748
who had no sense of smell used
to help them smell
11
00:00:26,848 --> 00:00:28,876
and to use it they had to smell.
12
00:00:28,977 --> 00:00:30,739
Yeah, there it is,
the perfect analogy.
13
00:00:30,838 --> 00:00:32,601
Anything else would
be gilding the lily.
14
00:00:32,701 --> 00:00:34,496
You know, you always see
tiny screwdrivers.
15
00:00:34,597 --> 00:00:37,423
But you never see tiny pliers
or tiny wrenches.
16
00:00:37,523 --> 00:00:39,019
Huh? Right, Brent?
17
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:43,808
Now, if I snapped
one of your arms off,
18
00:00:43,908 --> 00:00:45,537
would that be ironic?
19
00:00:45,637 --> 00:00:47,034
Not really, no.
20
00:00:47,133 --> 00:00:48,863
I'd like to do it anyway.
21
00:00:51,722 --> 00:00:55,314
* You can tell me that
your dog ran away *
22
00:00:55,414 --> 00:00:59,105
* Then tell me that it
took three days *
23
00:00:59,205 --> 00:01:04,426
* I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say *
24
00:01:04,527 --> 00:01:08,384
* You think there's
not a lot goin' on *
25
00:01:08,483 --> 00:01:12,141
* Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong *
26
00:01:12,241 --> 00:01:15,666
* And that's why you can
stay so long *
27
00:01:15,766 --> 00:01:19,924
* Where there's not a lot
goin' on *
28
00:01:21,919 --> 00:01:23,316
Hey.
29
00:01:23,415 --> 00:01:24,846
What are you guys doin'?
30
00:01:24,946 --> 00:01:28,170
Designing a new decal for
the side of the police car.
31
00:01:28,270 --> 00:01:30,200
Hey, cool. Xena.
32
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:33,225
No. No warrior princesses.
33
00:01:33,325 --> 00:01:36,617
I know a guy who could airbrush
that wicked fast for ya.
34
00:01:36,717 --> 00:01:38,846
It's a police car,
not a make-out van.
35
00:01:38,945 --> 00:01:41,007
No reason why it
can't be both.
36
00:01:41,107 --> 00:01:43,535
Now, this airbrush guy,
does he have a portfolio?
37
00:01:43,635 --> 00:01:45,763
Uh, no. A Camaro I think.
38
00:01:45,863 --> 00:01:48,756
I mean does he have an
example of his work?
39
00:01:48,856 --> 00:01:50,885
Yeah, I know.
It's on his Camaro.
40
00:01:51,017 --> 00:01:53,612
We just want something simple,
like a slogan.
41
00:01:53,712 --> 00:01:55,573
Oh, wait, I got it.
42
00:01:58,334 --> 00:02:00,562
Maybe you should stick to,
um...
43
00:02:01,659 --> 00:02:04,153
whatever it is you do well.
44
00:02:06,215 --> 00:02:07,712
How'd ya...
45
00:02:09,075 --> 00:02:10,672
Let me guess. Hank?
46
00:02:10,772 --> 00:02:14,429
It's my fault really. I made
friends with him in grade two.
47
00:02:14,529 --> 00:02:16,092
Look at the bright side.
48
00:02:16,192 --> 00:02:19,551
Is it three inches from
my face? Otherwise I
can't look at it.
49
00:02:19,651 --> 00:02:22,909
I mean it's a good opportunity
for you to get new frames.
50
00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:25,171
Yeah? I have an even
better solution.
51
00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:28,895
Nice work, Melvin.
52
00:02:28,995 --> 00:02:30,924
Good luck at the science fair.
53
00:02:31,023 --> 00:02:33,252
Come on. It's hardly
even noticeable.
54
00:02:36,245 --> 00:02:38,207
Noticeable, huh?
55
00:02:38,307 --> 00:02:41,632
I'm sorry. Did you get kicked
by a donkey or something?
56
00:02:41,732 --> 00:02:43,793
What if I did?
You'd feel bad now.
57
00:02:43,893 --> 00:02:47,452
At least let me put some
clear tape on those.
58
00:02:48,384 --> 00:02:50,611
Hey, two-eyes.
59
00:02:50,711 --> 00:02:53,671
It's not nice to tease,
ya know, whoever you are.
60
00:02:53,770 --> 00:02:55,167
Actually, it's a good look.
61
00:02:55,268 --> 00:02:57,129
Brings out the face
on your head.
62
00:02:57,229 --> 00:02:58,992
Thanks, I think.
63
00:02:59,092 --> 00:03:01,053
You ever thought about
laser eye surgery?
64
00:03:01,153 --> 00:03:02,949
Oh, sure, I've
thought about it.
65
00:03:06,441 --> 00:03:08,104
Do you expect me to talk?
66
00:03:08,203 --> 00:03:09,766
No, Mr. Leroy.
67
00:03:09,865 --> 00:03:12,394
I expect you to die.
68
00:03:13,025 --> 00:03:14,456
Eventually.
69
00:03:14,556 --> 00:03:17,914
But for now, let's just do
this laser eye surgery.
70
00:03:19,578 --> 00:03:22,437
Laser surgery. Brent?
Oh, please.
71
00:03:22,537 --> 00:03:24,432
He gets squeamish
cutting his nails.
72
00:03:24,532 --> 00:03:28,191
I have sensitive cuticles,
sensitive manly cuticles.
73
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:29,920
Plus you're a chicken.
74
00:03:30,019 --> 00:03:33,045
Don't make fun of Brent.
It's not his fault he's a...
75
00:03:33,145 --> 00:03:34,543
Chicken?
76
00:03:34,643 --> 00:03:36,802
Yeah, I guess it
is the best word.
77
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,395
Wanda overcharged
us 25 cents.
78
00:03:40,495 --> 00:03:42,656
Gee. I wonder if you'll
overreact to this.
79
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,084
That's two bits.
That's a shave
and a haircut.
80
00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:49,441
Let's just go.
I don't want to-
What kinda scam is
she trying to pull?
81
00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:51,801
No crime too small.
82
00:03:54,063 --> 00:03:56,956
It's the perfect slogan
for the side of the police car:
83
00:03:57,056 --> 00:03:59,218
"No crime too small. "
84
00:03:59,318 --> 00:04:01,878
And Xena says this
in a thought bubble?
85
00:04:01,978 --> 00:04:03,042
No, no, no.
86
00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:06,434
This slogan's so cool, it
works better without Xena.
87
00:04:06,534 --> 00:04:08,130
It is a good slogan.
88
00:04:08,230 --> 00:04:10,292
Good thinkin', Hank.
89
00:04:10,392 --> 00:04:12,288
Oh. No, no, wait, wait!
90
00:04:12,387 --> 00:04:15,047
I didn't come up with it!
It was Emma!
91
00:04:20,567 --> 00:04:21,964
Laser tag?
92
00:04:22,065 --> 00:04:23,593
Count me in.
93
00:04:23,693 --> 00:04:25,922
Savage Fox.
94
00:04:26,021 --> 00:04:27,850
Beside the laser tag.
95
00:04:27,950 --> 00:04:30,179
Laser hair removal?
96
00:04:30,278 --> 00:04:32,440
A little late for that.
97
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:35,167
I'm looking at the ad
for laser eye surgery.
98
00:04:35,267 --> 00:04:38,160
Ah, good for you.
It's an amazing procedure.
99
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:40,322
The laser actually
alters the shape
100
00:04:40,422 --> 00:04:42,715
of the anterior central cornea.
101
00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:45,775
Yeah. Plus Lacey said
I'd be too chicken to do it.
102
00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:47,604
You can't undergo
life-changing surgery
103
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,666
because Lacey
made fun of you.
104
00:04:49,766 --> 00:04:50,764
Of course not.
105
00:04:50,863 --> 00:04:53,025
I'm going to give it
careful consideration.
106
00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:55,454
Hey, guys. Do you have
any Shake n' Bake?
107
00:04:55,552 --> 00:04:57,914
Again with the chicken stuff.
Well, you know what?
108
00:04:58,014 --> 00:04:59,976
I am gettin' that
laser eye surgery.
109
00:05:01,273 --> 00:05:03,169
That was a bit of a leap.
110
00:05:03,268 --> 00:05:05,696
No. I really was taunting him.
111
00:05:05,795 --> 00:05:07,458
Oh, you're good.
112
00:05:09,121 --> 00:05:12,081
I just think I should have
been consulted, that's all.
113
00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:14,243
What's wrong with
"To serve and protect"?
114
00:05:14,342 --> 00:05:17,567
"No crime too small. "
It brands us.
115
00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:26,413
What about
"To protect and serve"?
116
00:05:26,513 --> 00:05:28,210
Hey, Mutt and Jeff.
117
00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:31,036
That guy came to
a rolling stop.
118
00:05:31,136 --> 00:05:33,596
A rolling stop.
It's no big deal.
119
00:05:33,696 --> 00:05:36,291
"To watch and to safen. "
120
00:05:36,390 --> 00:05:38,518
Your door says,
"No crime too small. "
121
00:05:38,619 --> 00:05:41,247
If you don't do somethin',
that's false advertising.
122
00:05:41,346 --> 00:05:44,039
Okay, okay.
123
00:05:44,139 --> 00:05:46,335
What, we're
actually doing this?
124
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,196
Oh, man.
125
00:05:48,296 --> 00:05:50,291
Way to brand us.
126
00:05:53,284 --> 00:05:55,612
So I didn't get a
chance to tell him
127
00:05:55,712 --> 00:05:57,474
that you came up
with the slogan.
128
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:58,971
What slogan?
129
00:05:59,071 --> 00:06:01,133
"No crime to small"?
Did I say that?
130
00:06:01,233 --> 00:06:03,693
Yeah, you were
talkin' to Oscar. Oh, right.
131
00:06:03,793 --> 00:06:07,085
I tend to repress a lot
of our time together.
132
00:06:07,186 --> 00:06:08,582
So you don't care?
133
00:06:08,681 --> 00:06:11,110
It's shocking how
much I don't care.
134
00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:12,605
Are ya sure?
135
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,233
Because technically that's
your intellectual property.
136
00:06:15,332 --> 00:06:18,226
Well, how about getting
off my actual property?
137
00:06:18,325 --> 00:06:19,290
See there?
138
00:06:19,389 --> 00:06:22,084
A wordplay, the mark
of a great writer.
139
00:06:24,179 --> 00:06:26,806
Hey, thanks for comin' with,
Wanda.
140
00:06:26,906 --> 00:06:29,533
Glad to help, especially
since you made it a condition
141
00:06:29,632 --> 00:06:31,728
of my continuing employment.
142
00:06:31,827 --> 00:06:34,288
Yeah. I like the part
where I did that.
143
00:06:34,387 --> 00:06:36,283
Mr. Leroy?
144
00:06:36,383 --> 00:06:38,047
The doctor will
see you now.
145
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,574
Oh, so he's a doctor.
That's a relief.
146
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,697
I'll just head on in, then.
147
00:06:48,788 --> 00:06:51,448
Aren't you going to wait and
drive him home afterwards?
148
00:06:51,548 --> 00:06:54,674
I'll be driving him home
in about four seconds.
149
00:06:55,074 --> 00:06:58,698
He had a model of an eye
and he opened it up in half,
150
00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:00,227
right in front of me.
151
00:07:00,327 --> 00:07:01,724
Yeah, yeah, the humanity.
152
00:07:01,824 --> 00:07:04,053
Let's blow this
popsicle stand.
153
00:07:04,153 --> 00:07:06,413
Hey, that gives
me an idea.
154
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,509
Please don't tell Lacey.
155
00:07:08,608 --> 00:07:11,934
Okay. But she's gonna wonder
why your mouth is blue.
156
00:07:12,034 --> 00:07:14,527
I mean about me chickening out
of laser surgery.
157
00:07:14,627 --> 00:07:17,587
Actually, a chicken woulda
hung in longer than you did.
158
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,049
Yeah, well, a chicken
doesn't know what's goin' on.
159
00:07:20,147 --> 00:07:22,708
The point is, Lacey never
needs to know about this.
160
00:07:22,808 --> 00:07:24,870
I don't want her
to know about this.
161
00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:28,595
It's more fun watchin' you
flail around like a moron
trying to fool her.
162
00:07:28,694 --> 00:07:30,557
I knew you'd have my back.
163
00:07:30,657 --> 00:07:33,284
All right, let's blow
this popsicle stand.
164
00:07:43,427 --> 00:07:45,322
He coughed without
covering his mouth?
165
00:07:45,422 --> 00:07:48,082
Who knows what I coulda
picked up from that kid.
166
00:07:48,182 --> 00:07:49,579
Laryngitis would be nice.
167
00:07:49,679 --> 00:07:51,208
Oh, real funny.
168
00:07:51,308 --> 00:07:52,939
I could be at Death's door.
169
00:07:53,038 --> 00:07:54,634
Ring the doorbell.
170
00:07:54,733 --> 00:07:57,826
You need to start puttin' your
money where your slogan is:
171
00:07:57,927 --> 00:07:59,589
"No crime too small. "
172
00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:02,283
I wish our slogan was,
"Cranky old men ignored. "
173
00:08:02,383 --> 00:08:03,812
Chop, chop!
174
00:08:03,913 --> 00:08:06,439
"No crime too small.
No crime too small. "
175
00:08:11,228 --> 00:08:13,156
Well, I'm proud
of you, Brent.
176
00:08:13,257 --> 00:08:15,052
And I thought
you'd chicken out.
177
00:08:15,152 --> 00:08:18,245
If there's one thing we know
for sure, it's that I didn't.
178
00:08:18,345 --> 00:08:19,476
Uh-huh?
179
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,804
Hmm.
180
00:08:21,904 --> 00:08:23,234
Wow.
181
00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:25,029
You sure recovered
quickly.
182
00:08:25,128 --> 00:08:28,288
Oh, the technology has
improved so much these days.
183
00:08:28,388 --> 00:08:32,745
They're, um, they're using
those laser-guided lasers now.
184
00:08:36,203 --> 00:08:37,667
Clumsy me.
185
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,596
I- I spilt Brent's coffee.
186
00:08:39,695 --> 00:08:41,158
Yeah, geez, Wanda.
187
00:08:41,258 --> 00:08:43,753
Good thing you weren't
doing the surgery on me.
188
00:08:45,382 --> 00:08:46,977
That was a close one.
189
00:08:47,077 --> 00:08:49,339
I hope this goes
on for years.
190
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,535
You're going to be
staggering into lamp posts,
191
00:08:51,634 --> 00:08:53,663
putting Preparation H
on your toothbrush.
192
00:08:53,762 --> 00:08:55,159
This is great.
193
00:08:55,259 --> 00:08:57,354
Hey, got my picture
in the Howler.
194
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,315
That happens to you
all the time.
195
00:08:59,416 --> 00:09:01,744
Yeah, but this time it's
for somethin' good.
196
00:09:02,907 --> 00:09:06,299
Finally, a headline without
the word "mishap" in it.
197
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,060
They spelt "thanks" wrong,
but otherwise it's good.
198
00:09:09,159 --> 00:09:11,854
What do you think
about that, Brent?
199
00:09:11,953 --> 00:09:14,780
About Hank's new slogan
for the police car.
200
00:09:14,879 --> 00:09:16,310
Oh.
201
00:09:16,409 --> 00:09:17,773
Uh.
202
00:09:19,867 --> 00:09:21,597
Cool. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
203
00:09:21,697 --> 00:09:23,891
Way ta slogan it
up there, Hank.
204
00:09:23,991 --> 00:09:26,353
Yeah, good.
Good story.
205
00:09:26,453 --> 00:09:29,844
Sorry they spelled your
name wrong, there, I see.
206
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:33,503
It's a big hit,
talk of the town.
207
00:09:33,602 --> 00:09:36,629
I can read it myself, Wanda.
Sheesh.
208
00:09:36,729 --> 00:09:39,622
Oh, it says it's a big hit,
talk of the town.
209
00:09:39,722 --> 00:09:41,217
Uh-huh.
210
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,511
This slogan thing's
not a bad idea.
211
00:09:44,611 --> 00:09:47,270
Ya think you could come
up with one for me?
212
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:48,368
Hmm.
213
00:09:48,867 --> 00:09:51,826
"It's BLT,"
Brent Leroy Time.
214
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,751
I kinda meant for Corner Gas,
not for me, personally.
215
00:09:55,850 --> 00:09:57,247
Although I do like that.
216
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,843
"It's BLT."
217
00:10:04,530 --> 00:10:06,426
Citizen's arrest.
218
00:10:07,323 --> 00:10:09,883
I just can't do that
many bananas at once.
219
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,414
They go soft.
220
00:10:11,514 --> 00:10:13,244
You can make muffins.
221
00:10:14,839 --> 00:10:17,334
Just give us one
second, Oscar.
222
00:10:18,896 --> 00:10:22,089
Oscar is driving me crazy.
We have to deal with this.
223
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:25,548
I got an idea.
224
00:10:25,648 --> 00:10:28,474
Twenty minutes in the oven, or
until they're brown on top.
225
00:10:28,575 --> 00:10:31,601
Maybe I can put
in some raisins.
Raisins?
226
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,728
Book this dirt bag!
227
00:10:37,885 --> 00:10:40,647
Okay, I got it, I got it,
the perfect slogan.
228
00:10:40,745 --> 00:10:42,142
"Got gas?"
229
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,506
No.
230
00:10:43,606 --> 00:10:45,468
"Do you have gas?"
231
00:10:46,266 --> 00:10:47,695
I'll come back later.
232
00:10:47,795 --> 00:10:49,559
No rush.
233
00:10:49,657 --> 00:10:51,521
How long you been there?
234
00:10:51,621 --> 00:10:54,746
Okay, you have got to start
wearing your glasses again.
235
00:10:54,845 --> 00:10:57,007
Ah, but this morning
I ordered contact lenses.
236
00:10:57,107 --> 00:11:00,764
This way Lacey will never know
I didn't get the eye surgery.
237
00:11:00,865 --> 00:11:03,392
It's so crazy it
just might work.
238
00:11:03,493 --> 00:11:04,557
Crazy?
239
00:11:04,655 --> 00:11:06,884
It seems pretty
straightforward to me.
240
00:11:06,984 --> 00:11:08,415
Yeah, me too.
241
00:11:08,514 --> 00:11:11,540
I just like tenting my fingers
and acting all schemey.
242
00:11:14,134 --> 00:11:17,194
So, uh, again, sorry about
stealing your slogan.
243
00:11:17,294 --> 00:11:20,087
You've already apologized,
Hank, many times.
244
00:11:20,187 --> 00:11:21,715
Why are you here?
245
00:11:21,816 --> 00:11:25,442
Well, I-you know, I was just
thinkin' about Corner Gas.
Uh-huh?
246
00:11:25,542 --> 00:11:27,735
Yeah, it's pretty cool,
don't ya think?
247
00:11:27,835 --> 00:11:29,232
I sure like it there.
248
00:11:29,332 --> 00:11:31,161
I've noticed.
249
00:11:31,261 --> 00:11:34,487
I wonder why I like hangin' out
at Corner Gas so much.
250
00:11:34,585 --> 00:11:39,043
Well, perhaps you need a
hobby or a job or... a job.
251
00:11:39,143 --> 00:11:40,671
Ah, no. No, no.
252
00:11:40,772 --> 00:11:42,468
See, it can't
be about me.
253
00:11:42,567 --> 00:11:45,627
I mean, um, I'm just
trying to put my finger
254
00:11:45,726 --> 00:11:49,319
on something special about
Corner Gas itself.
255
00:11:49,419 --> 00:11:52,910
I mean I like hangin' out there,
even when I don't need gas.
256
00:11:53,010 --> 00:11:55,936
It's-why?Whatever, Hank.
257
00:11:56,036 --> 00:11:59,860
It's obviously not
just about the gas.
258
00:12:05,747 --> 00:12:07,508
Now that's clever.
259
00:12:07,608 --> 00:12:10,501
Why can't you ever come
up with stuff like that?
260
00:12:13,561 --> 00:12:15,756
You doubted my plan.
But check it out.
261
00:12:15,856 --> 00:12:18,418
My contact lenses
have arrived.
262
00:12:18,517 --> 00:12:21,476
These are contacts, right?
I can't see a thing.
263
00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:24,469
Contacts, or incredibly
tiny soup bowls.
264
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,066
In your face.
265
00:12:26,166 --> 00:12:29,259
In my face, actually, in
the eye part of my face.
266
00:12:29,358 --> 00:12:32,750
Geez, that's right. I'm gonna
have to put my finger in my eye.
267
00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:34,846
So what? Don't be a baby.
268
00:12:34,945 --> 00:12:37,207
Whoa, easy there. I'm no baby.
269
00:12:37,307 --> 00:12:39,901
Eeeeuw. Eeeeuw, eeeuw, ee-ee.
270
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,389
We got a tip that there's
something happening
271
00:12:44,489 --> 00:12:45,986
at that house over there.
272
00:12:46,086 --> 00:12:49,312
But, uh, because of red tape,
we can't do nothin' about it.
273
00:12:49,410 --> 00:12:51,539
Red tape?
Oh-ho, the worst kind.
274
00:12:51,639 --> 00:12:54,234
Yeah. We need you to
watch and report back.
275
00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:56,661
Scratch that.
We just need you to watch.
276
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,325
What am I lookin' for?
277
00:12:58,423 --> 00:13:00,485
You'll know it
when ya see it.
278
00:13:00,585 --> 00:13:03,478
And when I see them, I throw
the binoculars at them.
279
00:13:03,578 --> 00:13:06,937
No. You use them to watch.
280
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,530
"No crime too small. "
281
00:13:09,630 --> 00:13:11,859
Exactly.
282
00:13:18,543 --> 00:13:20,505
Hey, whaddaya think? Huh-huh?
283
00:13:20,605 --> 00:13:23,100
People really seem
to like my slogans.
284
00:13:23,199 --> 00:13:24,595
Well, that's pretty good.
285
00:13:24,695 --> 00:13:27,588
It's not good that they
use the same pun twice, but...
286
00:13:27,688 --> 00:13:30,848
I could do a slogan for you.
How about a little message
287
00:13:30,947 --> 00:13:34,405
at the bottom of your receipt,
something like, "Come again"?
288
00:13:34,506 --> 00:13:36,534
That's what I have now.
289
00:13:37,798 --> 00:13:39,527
"Please come again"?
290
00:13:39,627 --> 00:13:41,523
You know what other
place I like?
291
00:13:41,622 --> 00:13:42,653
The Ruby.
292
00:13:42,754 --> 00:13:45,181
Forget it, Hank.
I'm onto you. Onto me how?
293
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,509
I'm not giving you
any more slogans
294
00:13:47,608 --> 00:13:49,504
so you can take
all the credit.
295
00:13:49,604 --> 00:13:51,101
But you said
you didn't care.
296
00:13:51,201 --> 00:13:53,993
That's before I knew you
were a weasely little weasel.
297
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:56,986
Fine. But if you don't
want to do it for me...
298
00:13:57,087 --> 00:14:00,180
I don't want to do it for you.
Do it for Lacey.
299
00:14:00,279 --> 00:14:02,141
Forget it, you weaselling
little weasel face.
300
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,835
But The Ruby. Come on,
don't ya like The Ruby?
301
00:14:04,935 --> 00:14:07,629
Of course I like The Ruby.
What's not to like?
302
00:14:09,490 --> 00:14:11,087
"What's not to like?"
303
00:14:11,186 --> 00:14:13,914
Yeah, Hank came up with it.
Pretty good, huh?
304
00:14:16,608 --> 00:14:18,536
Weasel boy.
305
00:14:23,392 --> 00:14:25,453
Hey, Brent.
How's things goin'?
306
00:14:25,553 --> 00:14:27,615
Great. The sun's shinin',
business is boomin',
307
00:14:27,715 --> 00:14:29,477
I never actually got
laser eye surgery
308
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,872
and I've been lyin' to ya
all the while.
309
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:34,399
I knew it. It was
the lasers, wasn't it?
310
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,725
Well, it wasn't the "Hang in
there" kitty poster on the wall,
311
00:14:37,825 --> 00:14:39,221
although that was
kinda freaky.
312
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,383
You shouldn't trick people.
313
00:14:41,482 --> 00:14:43,877
You're right. Anyway,
now I have to trick Wanda.
314
00:14:43,978 --> 00:14:45,540
Can I help?Sure.
315
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,200
I got contact lenses,
but I can't put them in,
316
00:14:48,299 --> 00:14:52,723
because to put them in, ya have
to touch your eyeball and I
can't touch my eyeball.
317
00:14:52,823 --> 00:14:55,183
If she finds out,
she'll call me a baby.
318
00:14:55,283 --> 00:14:57,047
It sounds like
you are a baby.
319
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,707
Nobody said I was gonna
have to touch my eyeball.
320
00:14:59,807 --> 00:15:02,167
Brent, what did you think
the word "contact" meant?
321
00:15:02,267 --> 00:15:03,764
I didn't give it any thought.
322
00:15:03,864 --> 00:15:06,723
I mean words don't
to mean exactly...
323
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,816
hot dog doesn't have
any dog in it.
324
00:15:09,917 --> 00:15:12,443
Can we just get back
to the tricking part?
325
00:15:13,741 --> 00:15:15,936
Hank's stealing my slogan ideas.
326
00:15:16,035 --> 00:15:18,896
Oh, all right, I get it.
"No crime too small," right?
327
00:15:18,996 --> 00:15:20,391
Exactly.
328
00:15:20,491 --> 00:15:22,820
You're not gonna start
asking us to arrest people
329
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,815
for stupid reasons,
like Oscar, are you?
330
00:15:24,915 --> 00:15:27,774
No, no, I'm not like Oscar.
I'm gonna leave now.
331
00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:29,637
I didn't even
want that slogan.
332
00:15:29,737 --> 00:15:32,697
I wanted something along the
lines of "To serve and protect,"
333
00:15:32,796 --> 00:15:34,459
just slightly different.
334
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:37,152
Like what, "To serve
and connect"?
335
00:15:37,252 --> 00:15:40,845
Hey, yeah. Thanks, Emma.
336
00:15:40,944 --> 00:15:44,303
You're not gonna ask
if you can use it?
337
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:47,229
Are they in?
I can't see them.
338
00:15:47,328 --> 00:15:49,723
They're contacts. You're not
supposed to see them.
339
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:52,018
What do ya think the
word "contact" means?
340
00:15:55,776 --> 00:15:57,305
Why are you squinting?
341
00:15:57,405 --> 00:16:00,032
Oh, uh, it's just
workin' the contacts.
342
00:16:00,132 --> 00:16:02,360
I probably touched my
eyeballs too much earlier.
343
00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:04,055
I was really goin' at it.
344
00:16:04,156 --> 00:16:06,949
You guys, I think
I lost an earring.
345
00:16:07,048 --> 00:16:08,046
Oh.
346
00:16:08,147 --> 00:16:10,574
Oh, that's a drag.
Wait a minute.
347
00:16:10,674 --> 00:16:13,467
What's that, over there,
all the way across the room?
348
00:16:18,987 --> 00:16:21,648
Nice one, eagle eyes.
349
00:16:21,749 --> 00:16:24,109
That laser surgery
works pretty good, huh?
350
00:16:24,209 --> 00:16:26,803
Yeah, it's like you
have super vision now.
351
00:16:30,062 --> 00:16:32,557
You saw that earring,
30 feet away?
352
00:16:33,121 --> 00:16:36,348
Wow. Those are some
killer contact lenses.
353
00:16:50,182 --> 00:16:52,244
Hey, Brent, you gotta
move your car.
354
00:16:52,343 --> 00:16:54,738
We got a call and
you're blockin' us in.
355
00:16:54,837 --> 00:16:56,334
Uh, sure. But I'm...
356
00:16:56,434 --> 00:16:58,130
Just move your car.
357
00:17:17,418 --> 00:17:18,815
Oops.
358
00:17:18,914 --> 00:17:21,243
That's, uh, common, actually.
359
00:17:21,343 --> 00:17:23,471
The first few days
after surgery,
360
00:17:23,570 --> 00:17:26,231
you can't see
backwards very well,
361
00:17:26,331 --> 00:17:31,850
due to the, um, inverting of
the, uh, cornea, uh, copia.
362
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,777
I know he didn't get
the laser surgery and I know
363
00:17:34,877 --> 00:17:37,736
he's not wearing contacts,
because he's too much of a baby
364
00:17:37,836 --> 00:17:39,466
to touch his eyeballs.
365
00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:41,030
You lied to me?
366
00:17:41,129 --> 00:17:42,792
You lied to me first.
367
00:17:42,891 --> 00:17:44,854
I fibbed. It's different.
368
00:17:44,953 --> 00:17:46,715
Why are we turning
on each other?
369
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,077
If anything, we should
be turning on Brent.
370
00:17:49,178 --> 00:17:50,873
Let's get him back.
371
00:17:50,972 --> 00:17:54,166
And I think I know how.
372
00:17:54,266 --> 00:17:55,895
What are you doing?
373
00:17:55,995 --> 00:17:58,523
Schemey fingers. Picked it up
from Brent. Try it.
374
00:18:01,183 --> 00:18:03,842
Whoa, that is schemey.
375
00:18:05,738 --> 00:18:08,731
Throw the book at him.
You Peeping Tom.
376
00:18:08,831 --> 00:18:11,558
I was workin' for the cops.
Tell 'em, you two.
377
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:14,817
I just told you to look around
the house, not inside it.
378
00:18:14,916 --> 00:18:16,712
I want you to arrest him.
379
00:18:16,812 --> 00:18:19,108
It looks like we'll
have to run you in.
380
00:18:19,207 --> 00:18:20,603
For lookin' through
binoculars?
381
00:18:20,703 --> 00:18:22,101
"No crime too small. "
382
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,929
What? That's just
a stupid slogan.
383
00:18:24,029 --> 00:18:26,091
It doesn't mean you
have to arrest me.
384
00:18:26,191 --> 00:18:29,350
Ya-ha! If we don't have to
arrest you for stupid things,
385
00:18:29,450 --> 00:18:31,710
we don't have to
arrest anyone.
386
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,374
All right, all right.
387
00:18:33,474 --> 00:18:35,469
But I want you
to arrest him.
388
00:18:35,568 --> 00:18:37,797
I don't feel safe
in my own house.
389
00:18:37,897 --> 00:18:39,592
Ah, get over yourself.
390
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:45,811
Oh, hey, hey,
check it out.
391
00:18:45,911 --> 00:18:48,006
Man, it feels good
to be published.
392
00:18:48,106 --> 00:18:49,668
Excuse me.
393
00:18:49,769 --> 00:18:52,096
This "What's not to like?"
at the bottom,
394
00:18:52,196 --> 00:18:53,793
is that an actual question?
395
00:18:53,892 --> 00:18:56,221
Because I filled out some
things I didn't like.
396
00:18:56,321 --> 00:18:58,914
Yeah. I filled out
my quiz too.
397
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:00,676
There's more stuff
on the back.
398
00:19:00,776 --> 00:19:03,437
Okay. It's just a slogan.
399
00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:05,698
Well, it's a tad
presumptuous.
400
00:19:05,797 --> 00:19:07,493
She's right.
401
00:19:07,593 --> 00:19:10,321
It's like your receipt
is looking down on me.
402
00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:15,010
This slogan is
going on my list.
403
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:20,131
Ow.
404
00:19:20,231 --> 00:19:22,126
Great slogan, Hank.
Thanks a lot!
405
00:19:22,226 --> 00:19:24,720
Oh, no, no. It wasn't mine,
it was Emma's?
406
00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:27,947
Come on! Don't blame Emma
for your bad ideas.
407
00:19:34,597 --> 00:19:37,325
Oh, hey, Lacey.
Love your hair band.
408
00:19:37,423 --> 00:19:38,554
Hmm.
409
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,051
Don't ya love
her hair band?
410
00:19:40,151 --> 00:19:41,914
Yeah, it looks great.
411
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,773
I'm not wearing
a hair band.
412
00:19:44,873 --> 00:19:49,428
Oh, geez, Wanda. Maybe you need
contact lenses or laser surgery.
413
00:19:49,528 --> 00:19:51,125
Who are ya
talkin' to?
414
00:19:51,225 --> 00:19:52,755
I'm over here.
415
00:19:52,854 --> 00:19:55,514
I know. I was, uh,
lookin' at the...
416
00:19:55,615 --> 00:19:57,510
Oh, Brent,
417
00:19:57,610 --> 00:20:00,171
I'm not sure about my
new slogan on my receipts.
418
00:20:00,271 --> 00:20:01,336
What do you think?
419
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,197
It's printed right
there at the bottom,
420
00:20:03,297 --> 00:20:04,694
in tiny little letters.
421
00:20:04,793 --> 00:20:06,190
Oh. Well, um...
422
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:09,150
Lacey, I think you should give
my slogan a second chance.
423
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,680
Which slogan
is that, Hank?
424
00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:12,342
You know, "What's not to like?"
425
00:20:12,442 --> 00:20:13,839
Right, like it says here.
426
00:20:13,939 --> 00:20:15,801
I'm with Hank.
Give it another shot.
427
00:20:15,901 --> 00:20:17,497
That's not what it says there.
428
00:20:17,597 --> 00:20:20,091
Aw, come on.
You changed it already?
429
00:20:20,191 --> 00:20:24,414
"Brent Leroy lies to his
friends and is afraid to
touch his eyeballs. "
430
00:20:24,513 --> 00:20:27,673
It's kinda weird. But if you
think it'll drum up business.
431
00:20:27,773 --> 00:20:30,533
The jig's up, chuckles.
432
00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:32,462
That could work. It's shorter.
433
00:20:32,562 --> 00:20:34,259
Fine.
434
00:20:36,154 --> 00:20:38,548
You know, you two should
be ashamed of yourselves,
435
00:20:38,647 --> 00:20:41,707
with the trickery and deceit
and shameless hosery.
436
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:45,265
Nothin' stings more than bein'
bested at your own game.
437
00:20:45,365 --> 00:20:47,793
Uh-uh. Don't do the finger thing
after the scheme.
438
00:20:47,893 --> 00:20:49,388
Do it before.
439
00:20:49,489 --> 00:20:51,152
Oh, right.
440
00:20:56,705 --> 00:20:58,501
"To serve and connect. "
441
00:20:58,601 --> 00:21:00,031
I don't like it.
442
00:21:00,131 --> 00:21:02,791
It's just a slogan.
Move on.
443
00:21:02,891 --> 00:21:05,884
Here ya go, guys.
Thanks.
444
00:21:05,983 --> 00:21:08,378
"To serve and connect?"
445
00:21:08,478 --> 00:21:10,772
Hey, that's ours.
446
00:21:10,872 --> 00:21:14,131
I didn't say you
could have it.
33010
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