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1
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,130
Hey, guys.
2
00:00:10,237 --> 00:00:12,436
Hey, Hank.
3
00:00:17,483 --> 00:00:19,549
Okay, ya dragged it outta me.
4
00:00:19,655 --> 00:00:21,686
I'm a little bummed out.
5
00:00:21,759 --> 00:00:22,890
I was dragging?
6
00:00:22,995 --> 00:00:25,628
I lost my part-time job
delivering papers.
7
00:00:25,733 --> 00:00:27,732
Oh? Why'd they give ya
the boot?
8
00:00:27,870 --> 00:00:30,136
Ah, somethin' about ck
of focus, reliability.
9
00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:31,572
It's kinda fuzzy.
10
00:00:31,644 --> 00:00:33,576
I didn't know they
delivered ThHowler.
11
00:00:33,648 --> 00:00:35,981
No, it was one of
those big city ones,
12
00:00:36,052 --> 00:00:39,755
The Globe and Post
orThe Post and Beam,
13
00:00:39,860 --> 00:00:41,759
National Stick.
14
00:00:41,864 --> 00:00:43,461
I can't remember.
15
00:00:43,567 --> 00:00:46,199
I want you to know,
if you're short on cash,
16
00:00:46,305 --> 00:00:47,938
Lacey's here for ya.
17
00:00:48,043 --> 00:00:49,339
I'm glad to help.
18
00:00:49,444 --> 00:00:51,276
Hank, coffee's on Brent.
19
00:00:51,381 --> 00:00:53,581
Thanks, guys. But it's
not about the money.
20
00:00:53,652 --> 00:00:57,120
It's that they tossed me over
for some eager 12 year old.
21
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:59,458
Hank's short on cash and
the paperboy industry
22
00:00:59,531 --> 00:01:01,763
is being taken over
by 12 year olds.
23
00:01:01,768 --> 00:01:04,903
What's next, dogs chasing cats,
ham on rye?
24
00:01:04,975 --> 00:01:06,739
I wonder who they got.
25
00:01:06,811 --> 00:01:09,444
That paper route's
gonna fall apart.
26
00:01:11,921 --> 00:01:14,420
Uh, hey, uh, I-I don't
get the paper.
27
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:17,460
Well, ya got one now,
jackass.
28
00:01:19,435 --> 00:01:22,603
You can tell me that
your dog ran away
29
00:01:22,675 --> 00:01:26,209
Then tell me that it
took three days
30
00:01:26,281 --> 00:01:31,854
I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say
31
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:36,229
You think there's
not a lot goin' on
32
00:01:36,334 --> 00:01:39,535
Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong
33
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,509
And that's why you can
stay so long
34
00:01:43,615 --> 00:01:48,752
Where there's not a lot
goin' on
35
00:01:50,461 --> 00:01:52,794
You're delivering papers?
36
00:01:52,899 --> 00:01:55,065
Wow, Oscar, I'm feeling
something for you
37
00:01:55,070 --> 00:01:56,835
I've never felt before.
38
00:01:56,907 --> 00:01:58,171
Pride?
39
00:01:58,241 --> 00:01:59,573
Pity.
40
00:01:59,678 --> 00:02:02,646
All my life I've wanted
to be a paperboy.
41
00:02:02,784 --> 00:02:05,084
But my parents
discouraged me.
42
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:07,088
Can I be a paperboy?
43
00:02:07,159 --> 00:02:09,092
Anything's possible.
44
00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:10,962
They were hard as hell.
45
00:02:10,967 --> 00:02:20,346
Since when have you
wanted to be a paperboy?
46
00:02:20,451 --> 00:02:23,418
morning, every morning?
47
00:02:23,524 --> 00:02:25,923
Damn straight.
48
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,361
Chase your dreams, Oscar.
49
00:02:31,506 --> 00:02:33,838
Hank was right. My paper
was late this morning.
50
00:02:33,843 --> 00:02:37,378
Well, you can thank my dadad.
He's your eager 12 year old.
51
00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:39,182
Really? Hah!
52
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,886
That is so sweet.
53
00:02:40,957 --> 00:02:44,793
Sweet and a little bit sad,
mostly sad.
54
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,897
Yeah. We're all very proud.
55
00:02:47,002 --> 00:02:48,834
I've always wanted
to start a paper,
56
00:02:48,906 --> 00:02:50,537
one of those
coffee papers,
57
00:02:50,642 --> 00:02:52,808
you know, the little
two-sided doohickeys
58
00:02:52,914 --> 00:02:55,013
with the tidbits and trivia.
59
00:02:55,018 --> 00:02:57,516
Well, you should do it,
become a doohickey mogul.
60
00:02:57,589 --> 00:02:59,721
Hey, would you do
one of your cartoons,
61
00:02:59,726 --> 00:03:01,424
one of your little doodles?
62
00:03:01,496 --> 00:03:02,827
Doodle for a doohickey.
63
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:05,232
Maybe you'd become
a famous cartoonist.
64
00:03:05,304 --> 00:03:06,668
Famous?
65
00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:13,447
Well, I'm with the world famous
cartoonist, Brent Leroy.
66
00:03:13,519 --> 00:03:16,352
Tell me, Brent, is this
the best your imagination
67
00:03:16,424 --> 00:03:19,391
can come up with, being on
the Vicki Gabereaushow?
68
00:03:19,496 --> 00:03:22,832
What? I love your show.
But this isn't even my set.
69
00:03:22,904 --> 00:03:25,303
Oh, well, this is
just all in my head.
70
00:03:25,442 --> 00:03:27,541
Uh-huh.
Well, your imagination sucks.
71
00:03:27,613 --> 00:03:29,812
I'm gettin' a coffee.
72
00:03:32,256 --> 00:03:34,254
Fine, I'm in.
But no media appearances.
73
00:03:34,326 --> 00:03:37,093
Now I have to come up
with a catchy name.
74
00:03:37,164 --> 00:03:39,330
Oh, I'm good at this.
Let me think.
75
00:03:39,401 --> 00:03:42,236
Um, it's news, we're in
The Ruby. Ruby Newsday.
76
00:03:42,341 --> 00:03:44,006
Geez, I am good at this.
77
00:03:44,111 --> 00:03:45,775
Oh, I'm not sure.
78
00:03:45,881 --> 00:03:48,581
No, you don't get it.
Ruby Newsday, like the song.
79
00:03:48,586 --> 00:03:49,950
I get it.
80
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,987
Oh, don't think
I don't get it.
81
00:03:52,059 --> 00:03:55,794
Who is more in touch with
the citizens of Dog River?
82
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:59,235
Me, the lifelong resident,
or you, the interloper.
83
00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:00,971
Interloper?
84
00:04:01,043 --> 00:04:03,542
Trust me, Ruby Newsday
is your winner.
85
00:04:03,647 --> 00:04:05,613
Ruby Newsday?
86
00:04:05,718 --> 00:04:07,952
What kinda lame
pun is that?
87
00:04:08,023 --> 00:04:09,955
Ah, well, you know Lacey.
88
00:04:10,027 --> 00:04:13,429
Anyway, what do ya think
of my first cartoon?
89
00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:15,967
That's pretty funny.
90
00:04:16,072 --> 00:04:17,971
It's not too toothless?
91
00:04:18,076 --> 00:04:20,408
It's not without its tooth,
toothful even.
92
00:04:20,479 --> 00:04:23,348
Are you gonna show it to
Karen and Davis first?
93
00:04:23,419 --> 00:04:24,817
Why would I show them first?
94
00:04:24,922 --> 00:04:27,521
Doesn't have anything
to do with them.
95
00:04:29,931 --> 00:04:31,763
Ah, it's good, huh?
96
00:04:31,768 --> 00:04:33,467
Oh, it's great.
97
00:04:33,571 --> 00:04:36,339
Brent's cartoon is hilarious.
98
00:04:36,411 --> 00:04:38,876
Yeah, I hope Karen and Davis
can take it.
99
00:04:38,982 --> 00:04:41,782
Oh, no. I meant
the trivia section.
100
00:04:41,854 --> 00:04:44,388
I did the trivia
section. Oh.
101
00:04:44,459 --> 00:04:46,992
What do ya think of
the trivia section?
102
00:04:47,064 --> 00:04:50,699
There's a... air of
triviality to it.
103
00:04:50,771 --> 00:04:52,436
Makes ya think, though.
104
00:04:52,441 --> 00:04:54,807
I mean-I mean Brent's
cartoon is funny,
105
00:04:54,912 --> 00:04:57,111
but who knew that
Saskatchewan was bigger
106
00:04:57,216 --> 00:04:59,950
than the entire country
of Sweden?
107
00:04:59,955 --> 00:05:03,457
So what do you think
of that, Sweden?
108
00:05:03,562 --> 00:05:05,627
Sure, yeah.
109
00:05:05,733 --> 00:05:10,136
I mean, whoa-ooh-ho, yeah.
110
00:05:10,241 --> 00:05:11,372
Fine.
111
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,144
You don't like the trivia,
other people do.
112
00:05:14,249 --> 00:05:17,417
Some people like the trivia
betterhan the cartoon.
113
00:05:17,489 --> 00:05:19,321
You wanna put it to the test?
114
00:05:19,326 --> 00:05:22,461
Two tip jars, Brent's cartoon,
Lacey's trivia,
115
00:05:22,598 --> 00:05:24,297
vote with a coin.
116
00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:26,167
And you think
this will work?
117
00:05:26,172 --> 00:05:28,505
How do you think
we elect the mayor?
118
00:05:28,577 --> 00:05:30,641
Lend me a quarter.
119
00:05:38,362 --> 00:05:41,129
Isn't that somethin'.
120
00:05:41,134 --> 00:05:42,664
Not really.
121
00:05:42,769 --> 00:05:45,937
It's pretty obvious that
Saskatchewan is bigger
than Sweden.
122
00:05:46,077 --> 00:05:50,313
And we're a rectangle,
nature's most perfect shape.
123
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:54,120
Not the trivia.
Look at the cartoon.
124
00:05:54,192 --> 00:05:57,793
"Let's skip these.
They're the day olds. "
125
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,799
Oh, he got you good.
126
00:06:00,871 --> 00:06:02,370
Got me?
127
00:06:02,441 --> 00:06:04,039
The day olds?
128
00:06:04,144 --> 00:06:07,379
I think he's referring to your
inexperience on the force.
129
00:06:07,484 --> 00:06:10,318
You're a day old.
130
00:06:10,390 --> 00:06:13,089
Interesting.
131
00:06:13,094 --> 00:06:16,396
I thought day old was in
reference to you getting old
132
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:20,270
and maybe we should skip you
for someone younger.
133
00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:23,742
He also drew funny
cartoon legs on you.
134
00:06:23,847 --> 00:06:25,447
I don't have funny legs.
135
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,919
It's right there,
in black and pink.
136
00:06:38,276 --> 00:06:41,210
I guess they really
like Brent's cartoon.
137
00:06:41,215 --> 00:06:44,717
Ah, there's 50 cents
in the trivia jar.
138
00:06:44,787 --> 00:06:49,092
Yeah. I put that in there
to get people started.
139
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:53,232
Maybe if you made
the trivia more humorous
140
00:06:53,338 --> 00:06:55,437
and drew a picture
to go with it.
141
00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:58,476
There must be like
15, $20 in there.
142
00:06:58,481 --> 00:07:01,815
And remove the trivia and
just had the humorous picture,
143
00:07:01,887 --> 00:07:03,653
they'd probably
like it then.
144
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,959
So all I have to do is ask
people their opinion
145
00:07:06,964 --> 00:07:08,962
and they'll tip a lot.
146
00:07:08,967 --> 00:07:12,068
Oh, and maybe have Brent draw
the humorous trivia picture,
147
00:07:12,174 --> 00:07:14,273
without the trivia.
148
00:07:14,345 --> 00:07:15,976
Huh?
149
00:07:17,183 --> 00:07:19,082
You done already?
150
00:07:19,154 --> 00:07:24,794
Can't stand still in
the newspaper business.
151
00:07:24,898 --> 00:07:26,829
WhatThey sent me too many.
152
00:07:26,935 --> 00:07:29,068
Waste of the environment.
153
00:07:33,614 --> 00:07:35,079
Hello?
154
00:07:35,184 --> 00:07:37,283
Oh, hi, Ruth.
155
00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:39,921
You didn't get your paper
this morning?
156
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,193
What a mystery.
157
00:07:48,075 --> 00:07:50,375
I work in the service industry.
158
00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:54,983
I work at a service station,
a station ofservice.
159
00:07:55,088 --> 00:07:56,920
But you don't serve food.
160
00:07:57,025 --> 00:07:58,657
I serve food.
161
00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:03,099
Two Whippy-Sticks,
a box of Dingle Pies,
162
00:08:03,171 --> 00:08:05,971
a roll of Gummy Floss.
163
00:08:06,076 --> 00:08:08,175
You're saying Gummy Floss
isn't food?
164
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,179
I mean food that's cooked.
165
00:08:10,251 --> 00:08:12,984
So I'm discriminated
against based on heat.
166
00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:15,389
If you want titips,
a good first step
167
00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:18,194
might be to spend
working hours at work.
168
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:21,735
Ah, it's a detail.
I'm a big picture person.
169
00:08:24,411 --> 00:08:26,812
You didn't get the
paper either, huh?
170
00:08:26,883 --> 00:08:29,450
All right, I'll tell him.
171
00:08:35,733 --> 00:08:37,331
What?!
172
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:42,508
And here's your change.
173
00:08:42,613 --> 00:08:45,781
Oops. Your money
almost fell in a jar.
174
00:08:45,886 --> 00:08:47,852
Have a super day.
175
00:08:47,989 --> 00:08:50,121
Hi. Okay.
176
00:08:50,227 --> 00:08:51,625
Whoops.
177
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,394
Did you find everything
you needed?
178
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,198
Yeah. Oh, good.
179
00:08:55,203 --> 00:08:59,138
Do you have any questions, uh,
about our, uh, fine products?
180
00:08:59,210 --> 00:09:00,810
No, I'm good.
181
00:09:00,882 --> 00:09:02,412
Super. Great.
182
00:09:02,518 --> 00:09:05,117
Have a super day.
183
00:09:11,836 --> 00:09:13,400
Boo.
184
00:09:13,505 --> 00:09:15,169
Can I help you
find anything?
185
00:09:15,174 --> 00:09:17,875
Just browsing. I'm fine.
186
00:09:17,947 --> 00:09:20,781
And were you happy with
the service here today?
187
00:09:20,886 --> 00:09:22,919
Sure, whatever.
188
00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:24,755
Good, super.
189
00:09:26,396 --> 00:09:29,463
Have a super day.
190
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:32,268
Oh, let me help you
with the door.
191
00:09:35,447 --> 00:09:37,278
Hey, I was watchin' that.
192
00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:38,949
The phone's been ringing
off the hook
193
00:09:39,054 --> 00:09:41,152
from people who didn't
get their papers.
194
00:09:41,224 --> 00:09:43,390
I don't know how
they got our number.
195
00:09:43,462 --> 00:09:45,226
You have to make this right.
196
00:09:45,298 --> 00:09:47,364
Mrs. Garvey found
her paper in a tree.
197
00:09:47,436 --> 00:09:50,437
It's her fault for puttin'
a tree in the yard.
198
00:09:50,442 --> 00:09:53,275
A newspaper trap.
The town's full of them.
199
00:09:58,925 --> 00:10:01,091
Who threw that?!
200
00:10:01,162 --> 00:10:02,861
Go finish the job.
201
00:10:02,966 --> 00:10:04,330
But I wanna watch TV.
202
00:10:04,435 --> 00:10:07,970
No more TV until you
finish your paper route.
203
00:10:08,076 --> 00:10:10,274
No fair.
204
00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:15,018
Okay, this is skin
off my nose now.
205
00:10:19,998 --> 00:10:21,396
Voila!
206
00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:25,570
Served to you via the service
of a service professional.
207
00:10:25,642 --> 00:10:26,572
Thanks.
208
00:10:26,711 --> 00:10:27,942
Super!
209
00:10:28,048 --> 00:10:31,149
And if you enjoyed your
Corner Gas experience,
210
00:10:31,219 --> 00:10:33,585
please feel free to...
211
00:10:36,931 --> 00:10:40,265
If you wanna get tips,
try bein' less spooky.
212
00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:43,304
Maybe I'll try
being less worky.
213
00:10:44,913 --> 00:10:47,145
Explain this.
214
00:10:47,216 --> 00:10:49,516
It's a coffee shop newspaper.
215
00:10:49,621 --> 00:10:54,158
Officer, uh, you-you read it
as you would a newspaper
216
00:10:54,297 --> 00:10:56,663
while you're having coffee...
217
00:10:57,837 --> 00:10:59,469
in a shop.
218
00:10:59,474 --> 00:11:02,474
And do you find this funny?
I'm not old.
219
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:04,679
And I'll tell you
what's not funny.
220
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,381
My legs.
221
00:11:06,487 --> 00:11:07,985
Let's go.
222
00:11:08,057 --> 00:11:11,925
My legs aren't funny and
you're not funny either!
223
00:11:14,068 --> 00:11:16,835
"Why would I
show them first?"
224
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:21,811
Thanks. And we have
a new survey today.
225
00:11:21,883 --> 00:11:25,484
A mighty oak or a
gracefully willow?
226
00:11:25,556 --> 00:11:27,155
Oh, come on.
227
00:11:27,226 --> 00:11:29,692
It's worth a quarter
to find out, isn't it?
228
00:11:29,764 --> 00:11:32,965
I know it looks easy to write
these tipping jar things,
229
00:11:33,071 --> 00:11:35,103
but a lot of thought
goes into it.
230
00:11:35,176 --> 00:11:37,842
Now, I could help ya out
if you want.
231
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:40,380
Maybe everyone's into maple.
232
00:11:42,088 --> 00:11:45,055
Oh, hey, Oscar, I didn't get
my newspaper this morning.
233
00:11:45,195 --> 00:11:47,126
What the hell is this?
234
00:11:47,232 --> 00:11:49,998
Okay, look, Ruby Newsday.
It's a simple pun.
235
00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:52,436
I'm sorry if people don't...
It's not that.
236
00:11:52,508 --> 00:11:54,240
This cartoon.
I'm a paperboy now.
237
00:11:54,312 --> 00:11:57,412
Wait till my employer
finds out that my own son
238
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,249
is workin' for
a rival paper.
239
00:11:59,322 --> 00:12:02,121
I wouldn't call it a paper.
It's barely a doohickey.
240
00:12:02,126 --> 00:12:05,595
You're takin' food outta my
mouth. I need to feed my family.
241
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,165
He is your family.
242
00:12:07,237 --> 00:12:09,468
You're takin' the food
outta your own mouth.
243
00:12:09,573 --> 00:12:10,905
It's a free newsletter.
244
00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:13,142
People are gonna stop
readin' my newspaper
245
00:12:13,214 --> 00:12:14,678
because this one's free.
246
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,649
It's also not stuck
in the eavestrough.
247
00:12:16,721 --> 00:12:18,219
This is war.
248
00:12:18,324 --> 00:12:22,460
I'm gonna canvas for new
subscriptions and wipe you out!
249
00:12:22,531 --> 00:12:24,831
Yeah, that's the best plan.
250
00:12:24,903 --> 00:12:26,902
But I already subscribe
to the paper.
251
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:29,207
Well, except these days
I never get it.
252
00:12:29,212 --> 00:12:31,644
Then sign up again,
double your chances.
253
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,153
What's wrong with trees?
254
00:12:36,225 --> 00:12:39,025
Dogs pee on 'em,
they get sap on your clothes,
255
00:12:39,130 --> 00:12:40,929
you gotta rake up
their leaves,
256
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,667
they don't make any sound
when they fall in the forest.
257
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,237
No one trusts them.
258
00:12:45,309 --> 00:12:48,310
Did you fall out of one,
maybe at an early age?
259
00:12:48,381 --> 00:12:51,316
Let's not make this personal.
Trees suck, is all.
260
00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:52,818
You need somethin' simple,
261
00:12:52,890 --> 00:12:55,189
so people won't have
to think too much.
262
00:12:55,328 --> 00:12:56,725
Betty or Veronica?
263
00:12:56,797 --> 00:13:00,098
I can't believe I let
you talk me into this.
264
00:13:04,278 --> 00:13:07,312
What can I say?
I do a good jar.
265
00:13:08,219 --> 00:13:10,617
So you wanna get
the paper or what?
266
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,823
I heard the delivery
was terrible.
267
00:13:12,894 --> 00:13:14,292
Oh, that's the old guy.
268
00:13:14,365 --> 00:13:16,430
There was an older guy
delivering the paper?
269
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:21,206
Fine, but there's a rival paper
in town that wants to crush us.
270
00:13:21,311 --> 00:13:22,742
Lacey's newsletter?
271
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,079
Even Brent's workin' for
them now, my own son.
272
00:13:25,218 --> 00:13:28,185
Do you know how long I've been
workin' for this newspaper?
273
00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:29,520
A week?
274
00:13:29,659 --> 00:13:30,890
Almost.
275
00:13:30,995 --> 00:13:33,262
Then he turns around
and does this.
276
00:13:33,267 --> 00:13:35,400
How ya doin', Legs?
277
00:13:35,505 --> 00:13:37,603
Legs?
278
00:13:39,879 --> 00:13:43,381
Just adding a little something
to augment my tips.
279
00:13:45,256 --> 00:13:46,620
I said tips.
280
00:13:46,725 --> 00:13:47,789
Oh.
281
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,626
I mean, yeah, I know.
282
00:13:49,731 --> 00:13:51,329
I'm sure glad I
thought of this.
283
00:13:51,435 --> 00:13:53,566
Yeah, just like
Lacey thought of it.
284
00:13:53,705 --> 00:13:57,240
Oh, save your biting wit
for your hurtful cartoons.
285
00:13:57,345 --> 00:13:59,546
I mean the basic concept's
the same,
286
00:13:59,650 --> 00:14:04,288
but her questions are, frankly,
a little pedestrian.
287
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:05,924
Mine...
288
00:14:06,029 --> 00:14:09,097
are more stimulating.
289
00:14:09,202 --> 00:14:11,034
Free will versus
determinism.
290
00:14:11,172 --> 00:14:14,173
Yeah, that's got party
written all over it.
291
00:14:14,245 --> 00:14:17,980
Don't underestimate
people's intelligence.
292
00:14:19,154 --> 00:14:20,618
Free Will.
293
00:14:20,723 --> 00:14:22,622
Love that movie.
294
00:14:22,694 --> 00:14:25,761
When the whale got away,
I cried.
295
00:14:27,604 --> 00:14:30,904
Twenty dollars for Betty
and 22.50 for Veronica.
296
00:14:30,909 --> 00:14:32,307
Pretty good, huh?
297
00:14:32,312 --> 00:14:34,545
If you don't mind
pandering to the masses.
298
00:14:34,618 --> 00:14:38,453
Well, it's all in the question,
which when you think about it,
299
00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:40,957
means I really should
get a piece of this.
300
00:14:41,029 --> 00:14:44,063
Why should I pay you?
These tips are for my service.
301
00:14:44,068 --> 00:14:47,068
Can I get a coffee?
In a sec.
302
00:14:47,073 --> 00:14:49,974
Come on, Betty or Veronica?
303
00:14:50,046 --> 00:14:51,545
Anyone can think of that.
304
00:14:51,616 --> 00:14:54,883
This is what I'm saying.
You don't need Hank.
305
00:14:54,988 --> 00:14:57,422
Yeah? Well, I don't need this.
I quit.
306
00:14:57,494 --> 00:14:59,293
You're quitting a job
you never had.
307
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:03,668
It's finally sinkin' in, isn'tit? No mor
308
00:15:03,805 --> 00:15:05,672
Thank you for
stickin' up for me.
309
00:15:05,776 --> 00:15:08,075
I got your back, Sister.
310
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:17,227
Hey, uh, you wanna come write
tip jar questions for me?
311
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:19,864
Maybe.
312
00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:21,935
But I want a fifth
of all profits.
313
00:15:22,007 --> 00:15:25,075
I'll do ya one better,
10 percent.
314
00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:27,011
Ten percent.
315
00:15:27,117 --> 00:15:29,416
Hey, that's like double
what I asked for.
316
00:15:29,421 --> 00:15:31,253
Thanks, Wanda.
That's really nice.
317
00:15:31,359 --> 00:15:34,259
Yeah, well, I am in
the service industry. Huh?
318
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:37,932
Hey.
319
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:39,969
I need another cartoon.
320
00:15:40,074 --> 00:15:41,573
I'm gettin' requests
from all over.
321
00:15:41,645 --> 00:15:44,579
I don't think Karen
and Davis liked it too much.
322
00:15:44,717 --> 00:15:47,585
Yeah, well, can ya blame them?
I almost didn't run it.
323
00:15:47,690 --> 00:15:52,293
How is a cartoon about day-old
babies making fun of the police?
324
00:15:53,266 --> 00:15:55,299
What's usually day old?
325
00:15:55,404 --> 00:15:56,934
Babies?
326
00:15:57,006 --> 00:15:58,606
Oh, donuts.
327
00:15:58,711 --> 00:16:01,009
And what do stereotypical
police eat?
328
00:16:01,114 --> 00:16:02,680
Donuts. But...
329
00:16:02,785 --> 00:16:05,885
You are so out of touch with
the pulse of the community.
330
00:16:05,957 --> 00:16:08,357
And I, for once,
am in touch with it.
331
00:16:08,362 --> 00:16:11,162
I, the interloper, could
clearly see that that cartoon
332
00:16:11,268 --> 00:16:13,934
was making fun of Karen and
Davis and you couldn't.
333
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:15,203
Ah-ha!
334
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,007
Oh, this is great.
335
00:16:17,112 --> 00:16:19,945
All hail the interloper. Whoo!
336
00:16:20,017 --> 00:16:21,615
Interloper.
337
00:16:21,687 --> 00:16:23,519
That word is so last week.
338
00:16:23,658 --> 00:16:27,326
If you were really in touch with
the pulse, you'd know that.
339
00:16:29,302 --> 00:16:31,167
A hundred and one.
340
00:16:31,272 --> 00:16:33,905
This says you have a fever.
You're staying put.
341
00:16:34,044 --> 00:16:36,310
But the paper route,
my childhood dream.
342
00:16:36,416 --> 00:16:38,715
Your dream, my nightmare.
343
00:16:38,787 --> 00:16:40,918
I'll deliver the papers.
344
00:16:40,990 --> 00:16:42,757
Watch out for trees.
345
00:16:42,828 --> 00:16:44,459
Ah-choo!
346
00:16:44,531 --> 00:16:46,730
You're-you're mad
at this one too?
347
00:16:46,802 --> 00:16:49,135
How is this cartoon
making fun of you?
348
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,406
Two explorers lost at
the South Pole,
349
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:54,278
"Well, which way did you
think is north?"
350
00:16:54,350 --> 00:16:56,749
Shall I start?Be my guest.
351
00:16:56,821 --> 00:16:58,486
They're both wearing
the same clothing,
352
00:16:58,591 --> 00:17:00,824
deducing that they're
wearing uniforms,
353
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,493
much like we wear every day.
354
00:17:02,498 --> 00:17:04,631
That's not deducing.
That would be implying.
355
00:17:04,737 --> 00:17:06,133
So you admit it?
356
00:17:06,138 --> 00:17:08,405
And I suppose them looking
at a map signifies
357
00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:11,778
that you both lack direction and
your careers are headin' south?
358
00:17:11,883 --> 00:17:13,581
I hadn't looked at it that way.
359
00:17:13,654 --> 00:17:16,320
We thought you meant
we were cold people,
360
00:17:16,425 --> 00:17:17,989
but that works too.
361
00:17:18,094 --> 00:17:19,426
We're still mad at this.
362
00:17:19,498 --> 00:17:22,364
And why do you have it in
for Lacey?
363
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:26,774
If you thought my polls
were a stupid waste of time,
364
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:28,777
why didn't you say so?
365
00:17:28,849 --> 00:17:29,779
What?
366
00:17:29,884 --> 00:17:32,283
Polls, South Pole?
367
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:34,354
Roasting me in
my own newsletter.
368
00:17:34,426 --> 00:17:35,924
Brent, real nice.
369
00:17:36,028 --> 00:17:37,928
Well, then, why
did you run it?
370
00:17:38,032 --> 00:17:39,464
Because I didn't get it,
371
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:41,668
until Legs, here,
explained it to me.
372
00:17:41,773 --> 00:17:43,371
Hey.
373
00:17:44,679 --> 00:17:46,310
Good morning.
374
00:17:47,584 --> 00:17:50,317
She's worse than
the old guy.
375
00:17:52,093 --> 00:17:54,125
I can't believe
Brent roasted me,
376
00:17:54,197 --> 00:17:56,864
and after I gave him
his big break.
377
00:17:56,936 --> 00:17:58,835
That two-faced weasel.
378
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,840
Hey, Wanda, I got your
new tip jar question.
379
00:18:01,912 --> 00:18:04,177
You stole my question guy?
380
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,950
You two were Splitsville.
381
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,019
Oh.
382
00:18:08,123 --> 00:18:10,925
Look, I'm just using him.
383
00:18:10,996 --> 00:18:13,295
It doesn't mean anything.
384
00:18:13,366 --> 00:18:14,765
This question's gold.
385
00:18:14,836 --> 00:18:16,802
"Who's the better
vampire slayer?" huh,
386
00:18:16,874 --> 00:18:19,740
"TV Buffy or
Movie Buffy?" huh?
387
00:18:19,846 --> 00:18:22,479
First Brent makes fun of me
in my own paper
388
00:18:22,585 --> 00:18:24,282
and then you poach Hank.
389
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,219
You gas station people.
390
00:18:26,358 --> 00:18:29,593
Ah, service station people.
391
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,736
The Paper just called.
392
00:18:34,741 --> 00:18:36,105
You're fired.
393
00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:38,610
Good. I never liked that job.
394
00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:41,147
I thought it was
your childhood dream.
395
00:18:41,152 --> 00:18:43,519
That wasn't my childhood dream.
396
00:18:43,625 --> 00:18:45,790
I want a Red Bolt wagon.
397
00:18:45,895 --> 00:18:48,228
Well, you could get a job,
deliver papers.
398
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:50,065
It's a lot of work.
399
00:18:50,169 --> 00:18:51,768
I don't like work.
400
00:18:51,874 --> 00:18:54,373
Without doing work,
can I be a paperboy?
401
00:18:54,479 --> 00:18:56,176
Anything's possible.
402
00:18:56,248 --> 00:18:59,549
I never wanted to be a paperboy.
I wanted that red wagon.
403
00:18:59,621 --> 00:19:02,689
But now I'm an adult, I
can just go buy the wagon.
404
00:19:02,828 --> 00:19:04,660
I can't believe I made
myself miserable
405
00:19:04,765 --> 00:19:06,462
with this paperboy thing.
406
00:19:06,602 --> 00:19:08,199
Oh.
407
00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:12,074
I think I caught something while
I was out doing your route.
408
00:19:12,178 --> 00:19:14,445
Well, don't give it to me.
409
00:19:23,701 --> 00:19:25,866
Hey, that's the same
question I gave Wanda.
410
00:19:26,006 --> 00:19:27,637
Hmm.
411
00:19:27,642 --> 00:19:29,974
Actually, her question is, "Who
is the better vampire slayer?"
412
00:19:30,046 --> 00:19:32,312
My question asks, "Who's
better at battling them
413
00:19:32,417 --> 00:19:33,816
before they're slain?"
414
00:19:33,921 --> 00:19:35,785
Ah, much, much
more different.
415
00:19:35,890 --> 00:19:37,189
That's not fair.
416
00:19:37,293 --> 00:19:38,991
She steals you,
417
00:19:39,064 --> 00:19:40,895
I steal questions.
418
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,633
Yeah, but she paid me
for my services.
419
00:19:43,638 --> 00:19:46,371
I'm in the service industry.
420
00:19:47,847 --> 00:19:49,010
Oh, hey, guys.
421
00:19:49,083 --> 00:19:51,182
In the interests of
keeping the peace,
422
00:19:51,187 --> 00:19:54,588
I've drawn a new cartoon that I
think will make everybody happy.
423
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,658
"Dog River's finest"?
424
00:19:56,764 --> 00:19:58,997
"Lacey's Food for Thought. "
425
00:19:59,069 --> 00:20:00,532
That's sweet.
426
00:20:00,605 --> 00:20:04,306
It's not really funny,
but it's sweet.
427
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,177
There's no pleasing you people.
428
00:20:06,249 --> 00:20:09,683
Humour isn't about making
people happy, Brent.
429
00:20:09,789 --> 00:20:10,852
Yeah.
430
00:20:10,957 --> 00:20:12,656
It's about finding
people's weaknesses
431
00:20:12,761 --> 00:20:14,994
and attacking them, rubbing
salt into an open wound,
432
00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:17,198
relentlessly crushing
their self worth
433
00:20:17,302 --> 00:20:19,502
until there's nothing left.
434
00:20:19,507 --> 00:20:22,642
Anyhoo, no more cartoons for me.
435
00:20:25,853 --> 00:20:28,886
Hey, do you need someone
to deliver these?
436
00:20:32,833 --> 00:20:34,298
Hey, Dad,
437
00:20:34,402 --> 00:20:35,699
good news.
438
00:20:35,839 --> 00:20:37,503
I'm out of the
newspaper business.
439
00:20:37,608 --> 00:20:39,841
How does that get me
a red wagon?
440
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:42,880
One sentence into the
conversation ya lost me.
441
00:20:42,952 --> 00:20:45,618
When I was a kid it
was worth 12 bucks.
442
00:20:45,724 --> 00:20:47,188
Now it's a collector's item.
443
00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:51,063
It's worth 6,000 bucks.
I still can't afford it.
444
00:20:51,201 --> 00:20:53,834
Again, nothing.
445
00:20:53,939 --> 00:20:57,342
See, the people of Dog River
have spoken.
446
00:20:57,446 --> 00:20:59,378
I am neither mean
447
00:20:59,483 --> 00:21:01,515
nor shameful.
448
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,338
A lotta tips there.
449
00:21:13,442 --> 00:21:15,242
The people have spoken.
450
00:21:15,381 --> 00:21:17,914
But don't feel too bad.
451
00:21:19,554 --> 00:21:21,186
Gummy Floss?
32263
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