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1
00:00:06,701 --> 00:00:08,934
No way! Darryl Sittler!
2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,434
A Darryl Sittler rookie
card in mint condition!
3
00:00:11,501 --> 00:00:13,434
It's gotta be worth a fortune!
4
00:00:13,501 --> 00:00:15,634
It pays to clean up the basement.
5
00:00:15,701 --> 00:00:18,968
Buncha old junk sittin' around the
house for years collectin' dust.
6
00:00:19,033 --> 00:00:20,968
Look who's talking. Huh?
7
00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:23,901
Oh, Brent, look!
8
00:00:23,968 --> 00:00:26,467
Baby pictures. You were so cute.
9
00:00:26,534 --> 00:00:30,834
I had a big round head, thin
hair. I haven't changed a bit.
10
00:00:30,901 --> 00:00:33,467
You meant I'm an old piece of junk...
11
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,467
We've moved on, Dad.
12
00:00:35,534 --> 00:00:39,501
How come I never see any old
wedding photos of you two.
13
00:00:39,567 --> 00:00:41,501
Uh... Well, um...
14
00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:43,501
You didn't know? Know what?
15
00:00:43,567 --> 00:00:46,200
Your father and I,
um... Uh, it's just that...
16
00:00:46,267 --> 00:00:48,968
The-the thing is, uh... We
never actually got married.
17
00:00:49,033 --> 00:00:50,968
What?
18
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:52,501
Look, Brent.
19
00:00:52,567 --> 00:00:55,200
It-it-it was a-it was
a different time.
20
00:00:55,267 --> 00:00:58,234
Your father I were-were
young and we could hardly
21
00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,634
keep our hands off each other and...
22
00:01:00,701 --> 00:01:03,634
Okay, okay. I'm
instantly repressing that.
23
00:01:05,601 --> 00:01:09,434
* You can tell me
that your dog ran away *
24
00:01:09,501 --> 00:01:12,834
* Then tell me that it took three days *
25
00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:18,234
* I've heard every joke, I've
heard every one you say *
26
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:21,868
* You think there's not a lot goin' on *
27
00:01:21,934 --> 00:01:26,100
* Look closer, Baby, you're so wrong *
28
00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:29,734
* And that's why you can stay so long *
29
00:01:29,801 --> 00:01:33,467
* Where there's not a lot goin' on **
30
00:01:33,534 --> 00:01:36,133
No way, Brent! You gotta be kiddin' me!
31
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,801
It's amazing, but true.
32
00:01:37,868 --> 00:01:39,934
I am shocked!
33
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,567
A Darryl Stiller rookie card?
34
00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:43,100
That's worth a fortune!
35
00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:44,667
Yeah.
36
00:01:44,734 --> 00:01:48,501
Oh, and I also found out my
parents were never married.
37
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:51,934
Really? That's also
interesting. Can I see the hockey card?
38
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,467
Oscar and Emma were never married?
39
00:01:54,534 --> 00:01:56,200
Apparently.
40
00:01:56,267 --> 00:01:58,033
Wow.
41
00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:00,167
You're actually a bastard.
42
00:02:00,234 --> 00:02:03,601
I guess I am, although I
prefer the term "love child. "
43
00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:05,667
Hey, wait a minute.
44
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,434
Didn't this used to be my hockey card?
45
00:02:08,501 --> 00:02:11,801
Yeah, I lost that whole
pack to you playin' Knuckles.
46
00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:16,234
So you admit you lost it fairly in
a legally binding schoolyard game?
47
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:19,701
Well, yeah. I'm just like-Yoink!
48
00:02:19,767 --> 00:02:22,434
It doesn't really seem fair.
49
00:02:22,501 --> 00:02:24,701
What do you expect? He's a bastard.
50
00:02:24,767 --> 00:02:26,734
Love child!
51
00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:31,033
Stupid ketchup.
52
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:32,467
What?
53
00:02:32,534 --> 00:02:34,567
What, what?
54
00:02:34,634 --> 00:02:37,267
I was gonna let it
slide, but I'm curious.
55
00:02:37,334 --> 00:02:39,000
How is ketchup stupid?
56
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:40,801
It's spelled wrong. "Catsup. " Hah!
57
00:02:40,868 --> 00:02:43,467
Hell of a way to run a railroad.
58
00:02:43,534 --> 00:02:46,501
You can spell it that
way. It's an option.
59
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,167
It's a wrong option.
60
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:51,501
Ketchup with K or
catsup is a legitimate option.
61
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:53,534
Who says "catsup"?
62
00:02:53,601 --> 00:02:55,801
Who argues with condiments?
63
00:02:57,634 --> 00:02:58,934
Cat-sup.
64
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,200
Cat-sssssup!
65
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:08,634
Cat-shup!
66
00:03:08,701 --> 00:03:10,567
It's beyond me.
67
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,567
Guess what?
68
00:03:14,634 --> 00:03:16,200
Brent is a bastard.
69
00:03:16,267 --> 00:03:19,200
Oh. No, he can be
inconsiderate sometimes, but...
70
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,133
No. I mean a literal bastard.
71
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,000
Oscar and Emma were never married.
72
00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:24,934
No. Where did you hear that?
73
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,434
You know, sometimes you
jump to wild conclusions.
74
00:03:28,501 --> 00:03:30,434
Oscar can't read. What?
75
00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:32,767
I saw him sounding out a ketchup bottle.
76
00:03:32,834 --> 00:03:34,801
He might be functionally illiterate.
77
00:03:34,868 --> 00:03:37,167
He's not illiterate. He's
barely functional.
78
00:03:37,234 --> 00:03:39,100
He's non-functionally literate.
79
00:03:39,167 --> 00:03:40,634
Think about it.
80
00:03:40,701 --> 00:03:43,000
Oscar's quick temper,
his crankiness, could all be
81
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:45,167
a defence mechanism
to mask his illiteracy.
82
00:03:45,234 --> 00:03:49,133
Or he could be
quick tempered and cranky.
83
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,567
Or you could just be enabling him.
84
00:03:51,634 --> 00:03:53,901
You need more
evidence than a ketchup bottle.
85
00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:56,567
That's good advice. Thanks
for your help, Wanda.
86
00:03:56,634 --> 00:03:58,501
I'm not helping you.
87
00:03:58,567 --> 00:04:00,267
I'm enabling you.
88
00:04:02,901 --> 00:04:05,667
Is Knuckles legally binding?
89
00:04:05,734 --> 00:04:07,968
I don't understand that sentence.
90
00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:10,534
You know, the game, Knuckles.
91
00:04:10,601 --> 00:04:13,200
You put your knuckles together
like this, right,
92
00:04:13,267 --> 00:04:15,467
and then you... Ow!
93
00:04:15,534 --> 00:04:17,100
I know Knuckles.
94
00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:18,968
Well, is it legally binding?
95
00:04:19,033 --> 00:04:21,167
Any game has rules.
96
00:04:21,234 --> 00:04:24,467
If those rules are broken,
you could have an argument.
97
00:04:24,534 --> 00:04:26,467
What happened exactly? Show me.
98
00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:29,834
Okay. We had our knuckles
together like this, right?
99
00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:34,901
You suck at Knuckles.
100
00:04:35,767 --> 00:04:37,634
You weren't playin' fair.
101
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:43,234
Hey. Wanda thinks you're a bastard.
102
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:45,501
It's true. Really?I am a bastard.
103
00:04:45,567 --> 00:04:47,801
Your parents were never married?
104
00:04:47,868 --> 00:04:49,701
Well, I don't mean I'm inconsiderate.
105
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,567
And you just found out now?
106
00:04:52,634 --> 00:04:54,000
How are you holdin' up?
107
00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:55,701
Well, at first I...
108
00:04:55,767 --> 00:04:58,534
Oh, I've got a great idea.
109
00:04:58,601 --> 00:05:01,667
I'm not gonna have a
big wedding for Mom and Dad.
110
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:06,501
No. You should get a t
- shirt made up that says, "I'm a bastard. "
111
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,734
Oh. Well, now you're talkin'.
112
00:05:08,801 --> 00:05:13,501
A wedding shouldn't get too
big, 100, 150 people, tops.
113
00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:15,667
After all, it's Oscar and Emma's day.
114
00:05:15,734 --> 00:05:18,901
Well, it's really not their
day, it's their friends' day.
115
00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:21,200
But they should have a say.
116
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,000
This should be mine.
117
00:05:28,067 --> 00:05:31,100
I should be taller. But
what are ya gonna do?
118
00:05:31,167 --> 00:05:33,434
I'll play you, again. Double or nothin'.
119
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:34,968
Why would I do that?
120
00:05:35,033 --> 00:05:38,133
It wasn't fair. My hands were
like this, right? And...
121
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,667
Doh!
122
00:05:39,734 --> 00:05:41,133
You owe me another Sittler.
123
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,868
Ungh!
124
00:05:44,801 --> 00:05:47,000
Come on. It could be beautiful.
125
00:05:47,067 --> 00:05:48,534
No, Davis.
126
00:05:48,601 --> 00:05:51,501
I'd take care of
everything, music, catering.
127
00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:54,467
We could make an arch out of daisies.
128
00:05:54,534 --> 00:05:57,601
You'll never get me
under those death traps.
129
00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:59,968
There's not going to be a wedding.
130
00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:01,434
Why not?
131
00:06:01,501 --> 00:06:04,434
Would you marry Oscar?
132
00:06:04,501 --> 00:06:07,067
Look, it's none of my business,
133
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,400
but Brent's really broken up over this.
134
00:06:09,467 --> 00:06:11,534
Really?
135
00:06:11,601 --> 00:06:14,133
His whole world shattered.
136
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,167
Hee, hee, hee. Ungh!
137
00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:18,400
Hee, hee, hee. Ungh!
138
00:06:18,467 --> 00:06:19,868
He'll get over it.
139
00:06:19,934 --> 00:06:23,167
All right, fine. It's your decision.
140
00:06:23,234 --> 00:06:25,434
It's a shame, though, cheating yourself
141
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,567
out of all those wedding gifts,
142
00:06:27,634 --> 00:06:31,300
a toaster, bread maker, power drill.
143
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,801
Everybody,
144
00:06:36,868 --> 00:06:40,634
Oscar and Emma are gettin' married!
145
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:43,567
Ow!Hah-hah!
146
00:06:43,634 --> 00:06:45,701
Hah, ha, ha, ha.
147
00:06:51,534 --> 00:06:53,968
Hey, Oscar. How are the wedding plans?
148
00:06:54,033 --> 00:06:55,934
I'm stayin' out of it.
149
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,033
Emma's the one who is
excited. You know, women.
150
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:02,067
Now, obviously, the real
cake will be much bigger.
151
00:07:02,133 --> 00:07:04,167
The little plastic bride
is wearing white,
152
00:07:04,234 --> 00:07:06,167
but we'll tackle that one later.
153
00:07:06,234 --> 00:07:08,701
Now I'm gonna raise a touchy subject.
154
00:07:08,767 --> 00:07:11,033
Chocolate fondue.
155
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:15,767
Now I know it can be tacky,
but I think, with the number...
156
00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:18,400
Emma?
157
00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:20,601
Well, hurry back!
158
00:07:20,667 --> 00:07:23,634
We have to meet the
confetti guy at 3:00.
159
00:07:23,701 --> 00:07:25,934
That's great. Oscar, did you drop this?
160
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,467
What's this?
161
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,767
It says "The Happy Little Train. "
162
00:07:29,834 --> 00:07:34,100
The... Happy... Little... Train.
163
00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:36,734
Oh. It's not mine.
164
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:38,234
Some kid's book.
165
00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:41,467
One of these trains has a moustache.
166
00:07:41,534 --> 00:07:43,434
Yeah. The pictures are nice.
167
00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:47,167
Why don't you read the book and
later we'll talk about it.
168
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,534
Oh! A moustache on a train.
169
00:07:49,601 --> 00:07:51,200
Yeah.
170
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,567
So how ya treatin' my hockey card?
171
00:07:54,634 --> 00:07:55,934
It's
172
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,434
Besides, you owe me 300
Darryl Sittlers now.
173
00:07:58,501 --> 00:08:00,868
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get ya later.
174
00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:03,100
But that hockey card is mine.
175
00:08:03,167 --> 00:08:06,434
Do you remember when we
played that game? Huh?
176
00:08:06,501 --> 00:08:08,033
We were eight years old.
177
00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:16,100
Who are those kids? I don't know.
178
00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:18,067
You were saying? Oh, right.
179
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:20,467
I want my hockey card back.
180
00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:31,501
Keep trying, Oscar.
181
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:33,167
You can do it.
182
00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:38,901
I just don't know how
you can hold onto something
183
00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:40,868
that isn't rightfully yours.
184
00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:45,234
Hah. You seem fine hanging onto
that 20 bucks I lent ya,
185
00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:47,567
a year and a half ago.
186
00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:50,133
You're ignoring the
spirit of the game, Brent.
187
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,100
I never flinched. I winced.
188
00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:55,133
A wince is just a wince.
189
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,133
A sigh is just a sigh.
190
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,634
What?
191
00:08:58,701 --> 00:09:00,534
Look, give me a break, Hank.
192
00:09:00,601 --> 00:09:03,734
I have to throw a stag
party for a 63-year-old man,
193
00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:05,367
who's my father.
194
00:09:05,434 --> 00:09:07,133
I know.
195
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,434
I'm saying there's a
difference between a wince and flinch.
196
00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:11,968
What's the difference?
197
00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:14,033
I'll show you. Don't.
198
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:16,133
Okay, this is a... ooaaah!
199
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,901
Mmmph!
200
00:09:17,968 --> 00:09:20,501
You suck at Knuckles.
201
00:09:22,567 --> 00:09:24,634
So Davis can't come to this thing?
202
00:09:24,701 --> 00:09:27,133
No. Mom said he fell asleep hemming.
203
00:09:30,634 --> 00:09:32,801
Listen,
204
00:09:32,868 --> 00:09:35,467
if we are gonna do this wedding,
205
00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:38,434
I'd be proud if you'd be my best man.
206
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:40,467
Aw, geez, Dad. I'd love to.
207
00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:41,968
Thank you, Son.
208
00:09:42,033 --> 00:09:44,434
But I can't. I'm givin' Mom away.
209
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,100
You're useless.
210
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,534
Gee, we almost had a moment there.
211
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,033
What a nice surprise.
212
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:58,534
But you guys really didn't
have to throw me a stagette.
213
00:09:58,601 --> 00:10:01,067
Really? Lacey said we had to.
214
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:04,501
And we
215
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:08,501
Yeah, it's good to get away from
Hank whining about that hockey card.
216
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:10,901
Yeah. But Hank might actually
have an argument.
217
00:10:10,968 --> 00:10:13,667
What argument? He lost it
in a legitimate competition.
218
00:10:13,734 --> 00:10:15,534
How is Knuckles legitimate?
219
00:10:15,601 --> 00:10:17,834
I'll get it.
220
00:10:17,901 --> 00:10:20,767
Oh. And the hockey card
debate was getting interesting.
221
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:23,267
I'm glad you guys kept this low key.
222
00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:26,534
Sometimes these things can
get out of hand and vulgar.
223
00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:39,901
More pastry, Emma?
224
00:10:40,968 --> 00:10:42,868
It's hot in here. Ooh!
225
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:55,000
Lighten up.
226
00:10:55,067 --> 00:10:59,501
This is a stag and you all
look like you're mad at each other.
227
00:10:59,567 --> 00:11:00,834
Nah. I'm not.
228
00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:02,501
I am.
229
00:11:02,567 --> 00:11:03,834
Dad's mad at me.
230
00:11:03,901 --> 00:11:06,501
These two are mad over that stupid card.
231
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:07,901
It's not stupid.
232
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,501
Are Oscar and Hank mad at each other?
233
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:12,934
Geez, I'm not sure. Are you guys?
234
00:11:16,601 --> 00:11:19,000
No. No, we're good.
235
00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,601
All right, then. Party on.
236
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:26,467
Wanna play Knuckles?
237
00:11:26,534 --> 00:11:28,968
I'm gettin' drunk.
238
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,534
By definition, flinch and wince are both
239
00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:36,534
involuntary muscle contractions.
240
00:11:36,601 --> 00:11:38,100
They're two different things!
241
00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:41,067
No. In Solomon versus
Alexin, the Supreme Court ruled
242
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:42,868
that any specific motor function...
243
00:11:42,934 --> 00:11:44,701
I don't care about court.
244
00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:48,133
I am talkin' about how
it goes down in the street!
245
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,167
What do you think?
246
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:54,100
Both arguments have merit.
247
00:11:57,701 --> 00:11:59,167
Hey!
248
00:11:59,234 --> 00:12:01,033
Does that train have a moustache?
249
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,501
Yeah.
250
00:12:02,567 --> 00:12:04,501
And this one's wearin' glasses.
251
00:12:04,567 --> 00:12:06,501
That's delightful.
252
00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:09,501
Ah, you don't know what
you're givin' up, Oscar.
253
00:12:09,567 --> 00:12:11,767
The single life, stayin' out late,
254
00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:13,534
sitting alone at the bar.
255
00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:16,701
Single life? Me and Emma
have been together for 35 years.
256
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:20,033
You've been playin' house,
but it's not the same as marriage.
257
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:21,934
Trust me. I've been there.
258
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,567
Yeah. I forgot you had a wife.
259
00:12:24,634 --> 00:12:28,567
Hm, used to have a wife, and a house.
260
00:12:28,634 --> 00:12:30,767
Shoulda got a pre-nup.
261
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,200
It's important to put things in writing.
262
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,467
I need your help. You do?
263
00:12:40,534 --> 00:12:42,501
Oh, yes.
264
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:44,534
Yes, that's good.
265
00:12:44,601 --> 00:12:46,501
I'd be happy to help, Oscar.
266
00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:49,601
I think I'd be more comfortable
if I was able
267
00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,968
to put things in writing.
268
00:12:52,033 --> 00:12:54,167
Oh. I knew it.
269
00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:57,133
Oscar, I am behind you all the way.
270
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,100
Oh, that's great to hear.
271
00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:02,000
Lacey says we should get a pre-nup.
272
00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:04,400
What?
273
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:06,133
You ungrateful...
274
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,067
Now, hey, hey. Just
wait a minute. Aaaooh!
275
00:13:11,767 --> 00:13:13,267
What happened?
276
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:21,801
Why do we need a
wedding rehearsal anyway?
277
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:25,167
It's a longstanding wedding tradition,
like drunken uncles.
278
00:13:25,234 --> 00:13:27,834
It probably goes back to the Victorians.
279
00:13:27,901 --> 00:13:29,901
Did they invent that Chicken Dance too?
280
00:13:29,968 --> 00:13:32,634
That was the Spanish Inquisition. Oh.
281
00:13:33,734 --> 00:13:35,434
What are they rehearsing?
282
00:13:35,501 --> 00:13:40,200
They get married, we watch. It
doesn't take a lotta skill.
283
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:43,901
Not like, say, uh, scoring
a goal against Czechoslovakia
284
00:13:43,968 --> 00:13:46,601
in overtime and
winning the '76 Canada Cup.
285
00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:48,868
You're not gettin' the hockey card.
286
00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:51,534
But that's the entire point of the game,
287
00:13:51,601 --> 00:13:53,601
to make your opponent flinch.
288
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,167
I know the law, Wanda.
289
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:57,200
That hockey card belongs to Hank.
290
00:13:57,267 --> 00:14:00,567
You figure you know the
law because you're a cop,
291
00:14:00,634 --> 00:14:02,834
in Dog River?
292
00:14:02,901 --> 00:14:05,033
I also watch Law and Order!
293
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,033
You pushed me. You fell.
294
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:10,100
You were gonna push
me. Did I ever push you?
295
00:14:10,167 --> 00:14:12,067
Hey, how's the happy couple?
296
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:13,567
Oh. You mean us.
297
00:14:13,634 --> 00:14:16,434
What do you care, Mr.
Give Away The Bride?
298
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:18,534
You know what you should give away?
299
00:14:18,601 --> 00:14:20,567
I'm not giving you the hockey card.
300
00:14:20,634 --> 00:14:24,501
I'm sorry about the Best
Man thing, but Mom asked first
301
00:14:24,567 --> 00:14:26,567
and, more
importantly, I like her better.
302
00:14:26,634 --> 00:14:28,601
Ya left me in the lurch.
303
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,434
No one else is available.
304
00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:32,901
I could do it. Not a single person.
305
00:14:32,968 --> 00:14:36,601
I could be Best Man. The
lurch, that's what I'm in.
306
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,067
Hey.
307
00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:39,567
You broke my neck.
308
00:14:39,634 --> 00:14:41,100
What?
309
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:43,501
This whole stupid wedding was her idea.
310
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:45,534
What? How was it my idea?
311
00:14:45,601 --> 00:14:47,901
Now even Karen and Wanda are arguing.
312
00:14:47,968 --> 00:14:50,567
The Statute of
Limitation clearly states that the
313
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:53,534
date of accrual begins with
the discovery of harm.
314
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,734
Oh! If somebody stole my hockey card,
315
00:14:55,801 --> 00:14:57,934
he'd discover harm, all right!
316
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,601
And then after the champagne waterfall,
317
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,767
we move outdoors for fireworks.
318
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:05,000
Well, your friends certainly are lucky
319
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:07,767
to have you to help organize all this.
320
00:15:07,834 --> 00:15:09,434
Yeah. Friends help friends.
321
00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:11,968
This is a pretty friendly community.
322
00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:26,200
We're a little
early. Wanna grab a coffee?
323
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:35,901
Hank, I've been thinkin' a
lot about this hockey card thing.
324
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:37,467
Me too.
325
00:15:37,534 --> 00:15:38,934
It's ruining a good friendship.
326
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,901
Karen and Wanda's. Yeah.
327
00:15:40,968 --> 00:15:43,501
It's all the fault of
that damn hockey card.
328
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,067
Curse you, Darryl Sittler!
329
00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:48,701
Ow! That's the
third time I've done that.
330
00:15:48,767 --> 00:15:51,234
It's like I've been cursed.
331
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:54,901
We gotta find a way to make
all four of us happy.
332
00:15:54,968 --> 00:15:56,467
Oh, I know.
333
00:15:56,534 --> 00:16:00,601
We gotta get three more
Darryl Sittler rookie cards, huh?
334
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:04,534
Good. You're playin'
this simple, yet impossible.
335
00:16:04,601 --> 00:16:06,601
Geez, are we in the right place?
336
00:16:07,868 --> 00:16:09,767
They've turned it into gay bar.
337
00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:11,767
Again with the gay bar.
338
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:17,200
Excuse me, everybody.
339
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:21,467
Most of you already know
that Emma and I had a sort of
340
00:16:21,534 --> 00:16:24,934
misunderstanding, mostly
because of some bad legal advice.
341
00:16:25,033 --> 00:16:26,501
What?
342
00:16:26,567 --> 00:16:29,767
Well, I take
responsibility for my mistakes.
343
00:16:29,834 --> 00:16:33,868
So I would like to read something,
sort of an apology.
344
00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:37,133
No. Oscar, don't embarrass yourself.
345
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,567
You're right. Why should I
apologize? It's your fault.
346
00:16:40,634 --> 00:16:42,567
Well, that's not what I meant.
347
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:44,634
Oscar knows what I mean.
348
00:16:44,701 --> 00:16:47,634
Oscar, Lacey knows?
349
00:16:47,701 --> 00:16:49,634
Well, it's pretty obvious, Emma.
350
00:16:49,701 --> 00:16:54,501
Now that it's out in the
open, I guess I'm relieved.
351
00:16:58,534 --> 00:17:01,567
Could you tell us what's goin' on?
352
00:17:01,634 --> 00:17:03,467
This is so embarrassing.
353
00:17:03,534 --> 00:17:06,067
Maybe Lacey will tell them.
354
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:08,267
Well, sure, Oscar, I'll tell them.
355
00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:12,501
Everyone,
356
00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:15,133
Oscar can't read.
357
00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:23,000
You think that's funny, that
an old man can't read?
358
00:17:29,501 --> 00:17:33,501
Okay. I guess on one
level it is kinda funny. But...
359
00:17:33,567 --> 00:17:36,534
Lacey, Dad can read.
360
00:17:36,601 --> 00:17:38,601
No. No, you're all just enabling him.
361
00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:41,868
I'll prove it to you. Oscar was gonna
362
00:17:41,934 --> 00:17:43,667
Well, there's nothing written on it,
363
00:17:43,734 --> 00:17:46,834
except for "Dear,
Emma, I'm sorry. I love you,"
364
00:17:46,901 --> 00:17:50,767
and then it goes on. Oh,
Oscar, you can read.
365
00:17:50,834 --> 00:17:52,734
Of course I can read.
366
00:17:52,801 --> 00:17:56,067
I was wondering about you, though,
with your Happy Train books.
367
00:17:56,133 --> 00:17:57,534
Oh.
368
00:17:57,601 --> 00:18:00,534
Geez, Lacey, if only
someone had told you.
369
00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:02,901
Well, I made a complete fool of myself.
370
00:18:02,968 --> 00:18:06,100
I hope they don't write about this in
371
00:18:07,634 --> 00:18:10,400
Nah, the big story's the new Bylaw.
372
00:18:10,467 --> 00:18:12,734
Oh, yeah, that's right.
373
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:16,033
I'd like to say something, too.
374
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,534
First of all, I'd like to thank Davis.
375
00:18:18,601 --> 00:18:23,534
I don't know you managed all this
with the money we gave you.
376
00:18:23,601 --> 00:18:26,901
You would think he had spent
half of next year's
377
00:18:26,968 --> 00:18:28,567
police budget on our wedding.
378
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:33,801
A wedding is wonderful event.
379
00:18:33,868 --> 00:18:37,434
But, as you have seen,
it can also be a swirling,
380
00:18:37,501 --> 00:18:40,567
screeching Hell on Earth.
381
00:18:40,634 --> 00:18:45,501
Ah, I guess what I'm saying
is that Oscar and I
382
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:51,501
were legally married 35 years ago.
383
00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:55,133
Goodbye power drill.
384
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,868
It's a bit embarrassing.
385
00:18:56,934 --> 00:19:00,801
We eloped and, for reasons
that are better left unsaid,
386
00:19:00,868 --> 00:19:03,868
we didn't want anyone to
know about the wedding.
387
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:12,467
I think Emma should
say the unsaid reasons.
388
00:19:18,601 --> 00:19:21,701
It was the Sixties. It
was a different time.
389
00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:24,501
Oh, no. It wasn't one
of those hippy weddings?
390
00:19:24,567 --> 00:19:26,801
No. That would be the day.
391
00:19:26,868 --> 00:19:30,434
It was...
392
00:19:30,501 --> 00:19:32,667
an Elvis wedding.
393
00:19:34,934 --> 00:19:38,000
Well, that's not so
bad, being married by a guy
394
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:40,934
dressed as Elvis.
395
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,534
Yeah. Yeah. The guy
was dressed like Elvis.
396
00:19:45,634 --> 00:19:49,801
We vowed we'd never show
anyone those wedding pictures.
397
00:19:49,868 --> 00:19:53,434
That's why we made you
all think we weren't married.
398
00:19:53,501 --> 00:19:56,067
Or you could have
said, "We lost the photos. "
399
00:19:56,133 --> 00:19:58,968
Mind you, that wouldn't have
been as scarring, emotionally.
400
00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:02,434
Oh, don't blame me if
you can't see through a lie.
401
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:05,234
I'm sorry I panicked and fibbed.
402
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:08,467
There's no wedding.
403
00:20:08,534 --> 00:20:10,133
Let's eat.
404
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,033
Pass me Finally. the butter.
405
00:20:15,934 --> 00:20:19,601
I, uh, have to go check
on something in the car.
406
00:20:24,801 --> 00:20:27,501
Okay, I think we have a deal, here.
407
00:20:27,567 --> 00:20:29,767
Hank gets the card
408
00:20:29,834 --> 00:20:33,567
and then he sells it back to me.
409
00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:36,167
I get the satisfaction
of knowing I was right.
410
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:40,467
And now Hank has the money to
pay back the 20 I lent him,
411
00:20:40,534 --> 00:20:42,501
a year and a half ago.
412
00:20:42,567 --> 00:20:45,000
Yeah. Agreed?
413
00:20:45,067 --> 00:20:47,734
Now let's never speak
of Darryl Sittler again.
414
00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:53,534
I feel like I've been shunned.
415
00:20:53,601 --> 00:20:55,067
Now gimme my money.
416
00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:57,801
Oh, I'll get ya later.
417
00:20:59,334 --> 00:21:02,834
Bastard. I prefer Son of Elvis.
418
00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:10,834
We should have done
this a long time ago.
419
00:21:10,901 --> 00:21:13,200
Yep.
420
00:21:24,234 --> 00:21:25,834
Closed Captioning by
421
00:21:25,901 --> 00:21:28,133
Vertical
422
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,767
www. verticalsync. com
423
00:21:30,834 --> 00:21:35,601
* I don't know the same
things you don't know *
424
00:21:37,901 --> 00:21:43,601
* I don't know I just don't know *
425
00:21:47,067 --> 00:21:50,634
* It's a great big place
426
00:21:50,701 --> 00:21:54,701
* full of nothin' but space
427
00:21:54,767 --> 00:21:56,634
* and it's my happy place
428
00:21:56,701 --> 00:22:00,501
* I don't know Yes you do *
429
00:22:00,567 --> 00:22:03,701
* You just won't admit it
430
00:22:03,767 --> 00:22:07,167
* I don't know the same
things you don't know *
431
00:22:07,234 --> 00:22:10,567
Want to have a gas
online? Visit us at cornergas. com
432
00:22:10,634 --> 00:22:13,534
* I don't know
433
00:22:13,601 --> 00:22:16,601
* I just don't know *
29342
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