All language subtitles for Corner Gas - 1x01 - Ruby Reborn

- Want me to fill it up?
- Sure.

You know, i've, uh,
never driven across Saskatchewan before.

You still haven't.
About halfway to go yet.

It sure is flat.

How do ya mean?

You know, flat, nothin' to see.

What do you mean,
like topographically?

Hey, Hank.
This guy says Saskatchewan is flat.

How do ya mean?

Topographically I guess.

He says there's nothin' to see.

There's lots to see.
There's nothin' to block your view.

Lots to see,
nothin' to block your view.

Like the mountains back there.

They're, uh--
Well, what the hell?

I could have sworn there was a
big mountain range back there,

Juttin' up into the sky,
all purple and majestic.

I must be thinkin' of a
postcard I saw or somethin'.

It is kinda flat.
Thanks for pointing that out.

You guys always this sarcastic?

Nothin' else to do.

* you can tell me that
your dog ran away *

* then tell me that
it took three days *

* i've heard every joke i've
heard every one you say *

* you think there's
not a lot goin' on *

* look closer baby
you're so wrong *

* and that's why you
can stay so long *

* where there's not
a lot goin' on **

Aw! Brent,
this coffee tastes terrible!

Oh. Let me refund your money.

What did you pay for it, zero?

Here ya go. Come again.

I'm not complaining.

The coffee just tastes like it's
been filtered through a wig.

When's the coffee shop
opening up again?

Should be soon.

Lacey's been workin'
like a rented donkey

Ever since she got into town.

She's not gonna change it too much,
is she?

Turn it into one of those
snooty Toronto restaurants or

I have no idea what
she's gonna do.

She wants to reveal
it all at what

She referred to as
a gala reopening.

Was it

Wear whatever you want.

Lacey.

What kinda name is that anyway?

I mean can't it be
somethin' normal?

Have you talked to her much?

She's not a snob, is she?

No, she's not a snob.

She wears a tiara.

Really?

Well, I don't know.

What do any of us
know about her?

She's Ruby's niece
from Toronto.

What do you need to know?

Hey, Wanda.
What do you know about Lacey?

She doesn't have cataracts,
so you don't have a chance.

Scorch!

Pow!

I just want good coffee,
that's all.

Look, we all want the
coffee shop open again.

I miss Ruby's chili cheese dog,

But you don't hear
me complaining.

You were just complaining
two minutes ago.

Yeah, but Hank
didn't hear that.

Oh.

Is it unreasonable to be curious
about a new person in town?

And does she have
a criminal record?

That's a reasonable question.

Does she do drugs?
That's a valid inquiry.

Maybe she doesn't want
us in the coffee shop

Because she's turning it
into a methamphetamine lab.

Get the town kids hooked on
the meth and the crack cocaine,

Because once they're hooked
on that you know what's next.

Marijuana, then jazz
music and forget about it.

Why are you teein' off on me?

I don't want everybody
in town gossiping.

It was hard enough for Lacey

To move from Toronto to
Dog River, Saskatchewan,

Plus everyone's comparing
her to her aunt Ruby.

Those are big shoes to fill.

Okay, fine.

But I think
you're overreacting.

And Dog River's a good town.

We'll give her a fair shake.

Well, that's fair.

Yeah. Hi, Lacey.

I was hopin' you
wouldn't see this.

The guy who runs the paper's
desperate for a story.

You're the biggest
news to hit town

Since that little space rock
landed in anderson's farm.

Killed one of his chickens.

He tends to sensationalize.

It's not that bad.

I suppose.

I mean they could have
run a photo of me

In a hitler moustache tossing
puppies into a wood chipper.

Does such a photo exist?

Lacey, I don't believe
you've met Hank?

Hi, Hank. Nice to meet you.

My condolences on your
aunt Ruby passing away.

She-- She was an amazing woman.

Thank you. She was.

And her, uh,
apple crumble was about as addictive

As, uh, crack cocaine,
wouldn't you say?

Subtle.

Car 1 to car 2.

Car 1 to car 2.
Come in, car 2.

I'm car 1.

I thought I was car 1.

I'm always car 1.

Really? 'Cause my car's
got a big 1 on it.

What do you want, Karen?

I thought whoever
spoke first was car 1.

Can you forget
about the car thing?

Are you still
in position?

Yes. I'm in the
surveillance zone

Shielded by appropriate
ground cover.

You're by the bush.

The surveillance bush.

Fine.

Be sure and let me know if all
hell breaks loose out there.

Roger that.

Right side's low.

How about now?

Still low.

Now? Low.

Now?

Now it's way too high.

Is there something
you need, dad?

Yeah. When's that--

Wait a minute.

What does that sign say?

Sound it out.

I can read it, smart guy.

But we don't rent movies.

We didn't rent movies.
We do now.

No, we don't.

This isn't a movie house.
It's a gas station.

And convenience store.

Nowhere else in
town rents movies.

Folks gotta drive all
the way into wullerton--

-
- If they want a video. That's not convenient.

This will confuse people.

They won't know if this is a gas
station or a drive-In theatre.

You in show business now?
The gas business not good enough?

Ya gotta be ed sullivan?
We got a really big shew.

What the hell are you thinking?

I'm thinking your ed
sullivan needs work.

"Destroys local landmark."

I didn't destroy it.

And it's not really a landmark.

So the only true word
in this is "woman"?

Actually, that's pretty
good for the howler.

I could sue.

Oh, we're not real big on
lawsuits here in Saskatchewan.

You've reached the
Dog River howler.

Please leave a message.

Yeah. I'd like to report
that you guys suck.

I also have a
question for ya.

Why do you guys
suck so much?

These are just ideas.

We're just thinkin'
off the cuff, here.

Well, what's with the melons?

Uh, they make a big splat.

Yeah.

Oh.

There, how's that look?

Right side's low.

Geez, really? Mm-Hmm.

Maybe I have an
inner ear disorder.

Are my legs the same length?

Oh, good gravy!

You're not gonna hang movie
posters all over the place too?

Well, we gotta let folks
know we rent videos now.

Ridiculous! What's next,
a waterslide?

Turn the gas station into
a big family fun park

With movies and ferris wheels

And circus elephants
blowin' up balloons.

There's elephants now. Mm-Hmm.

Oh, hey, mom.

HI there.

Do you still carry yeast,
or do I have to go to the co-Op?

Tell your son to get his
head out of the clouds.

And tell my crank of a father
to look up the word "retired."

So is there baker's yeast,
or do I gotta go to the co-Op?

Who is it?

Open up, ma'am.

Police business.

Is this official
police business,

Or do you just want coffee?

Do you have any on?

I don't want anybody inside
until i'm finished redecorating.

If you're desperate
for a good cup,

I'll brew some and
bring it out. Okay?

God bless you, ma'am.

Call me Lacey.

God bless you, Lacey.

What are you two on about?

Your son is turning the gas
station into a movie theatre!

Yeah, dad tends to
overstate things.

I have never overstated
a single thing

In the history of the planet.

Remember when i suggested
we get some nice, simple

Corner gas uniforms?

You said people would
think we were nazis.

I said they

Both of you hush up.

Oscar, when Brent took
over the business

You knew he'd make some changes,
so butt out.

Thank you.

And you, your father ran
this business for 40 years,

So you can show some
respect for his opinion.

Geez, you're askin' yeah!
A lot, ma.

Well,

Yeah!

He's never even rented a video.

He doesn't know what
he's talkin' about.

I don't want to know.

See, he doesn't understand how it works,
but he's against it.

It's like the touch-Tone
phone all over again.

Didn't you tell me not to judge
something before trying it?

When did he say that?

Yeah, when did I say that?

All right. You never did.

But it's something most
fathers tell their kids.

It's good advice.

You let Brent rent you a
video like you're a customer.

Once you find out how it works,

Then you can make an
ass outta yourself.

I'm not gonna rent a movie.

It's a waste of time.

Do you want me to
come over there?

Gunfight music **

*

Do you know you're my hero?

Wow.

Sparrows can do 40. Hmm.

Karen, are you there?

This is car 1.

No, you're not car 1.

But you might want to
head back into town.

You need backup?

The new girl is
brewing real coffee.

You want a refill?

Yes, please

Aah! Aah!

Oh, man, that was good!

I knew I missed Ruby,
god rest her,

But I didn't realize how
much I missed that coffee.

Well, you ready?

Let's get this over with.

Okay, rent me one of
your stupid movies.

Do you have a membership card?

What? No? All right.

I'll just fill out one
of these forms for you.

Name?

You know my damn name.

Of course. It's Oscar LeRoy.
It's LeRoy, right?

Now i'm just going
to need an address.

Address? I live right over there,
ya idiot!

I'm sorry, sir,
I need a street address.

I don't know the
damn street address.

Your mother knows the number.

You know where the house is!

I don't think I know
the number either.

Is it 608? Or 806?

Maybe it's just 86.

I'll just put "big
house by the west road."

Okay. Do you have
a credit card?

I'm outta here.
All right, hang on.

Here you go,

It's a classic.

It's not dirty or gross, is it?

It's about fishing.

Oh.

Do you really think
your dad's gonna like

He might, if he owned a vcr.

You're smart. What?

How am I supposed to watch

Without one of those
movie machines?

You and mom don't have a vcr?

I had no idea.

I'll rent you one, nine bucks.

Just give me the machine.

Do you have your
membership card?

Just give me the machine!

All right, relax.

Here.

Now i'll need a $200 deposit.

You'll need $200
for dental work

If you don't give me
the stupid machine!

You know,

Is it a good idea to rent
that to your old man?

He's wound tight
enough as it is.

It doesn't matter.

He'll never figure out how
to hook that up to the tv.

Wow.

Lacey's been really busy.

I wouldn't recognize the place.

A waste of money,
change for change sake.

It looks like martha
stewart blew up.

I feel mildly violated.

Hi, you guys.

Hello, dear.

What do you think?

Good, good. Wonderful.
Yeah, it looks good.

High time for a change.

It looks like martha
stewart was here.

I feel mildly refreshed.

Gosh! I am so glad you like it.

I was really worried about
what people would think,

After I was attacked
by the media.

Media?

The paper,
the Dog River howler.

That's not media.

That's gus tompkins.

He's as sharp as a
sock full of soup.

I don't think he's ever
got a story right.

Aw, folks will get used to
the changes around here.

Yeah.

Besides, where else
are they gonna go?

They're gonna drive all
the way into wullerton

For coffee?

That is so sweet.

I'm going to go get a mop.

All righty.

What the hell did
she do to this place?

Just settle down, Hank.

It's just a little different.

Different?

We're in the seventh
circle of hell, here.

Look at this.

Where's the old clear
salt and pepper shakers?

You can't see inside,
how do you know which is which?

One is black and one is white.

Take a leap of faith.

Well, what if it's a trick?

Shake some on your hand.

That's unsanitary.

You eat gum off your shoe.

What's that got to
do with anything?

There's freaky abstract
art on the walls.

She put--
She put these weird cloths on the table.

You mean tablecloths?

It's too much.

She's turned the coffee
shop into a gay bar.

Who is?

You guys can pretend
everything's okay,

But i'm gonna fight this.

It's her place.

She can do what
she wants with it.

I got two words boy cot.

I'll put this place
out of business.

If you could put companies out of
business by just not being a customer,

Why am I still able
to buy mouthwash?

Yeah. And deodorant.

Clean underwear.

Books.

Pants that fit.

Nail clippers.

Dandruff shampoo.

Um, dental floss.

Toilet paper.

Pickup trucks.

You don't know what we're doin',
do ya, dad?

Shut up.

So, here we are,

Finest drinking establishment
in all of Dog River.

It's nice, kinda homey.

If you grew up in a home full
of pickled eggs and pinball.

What can I get you?

Rye and water.

What a shock. I meant her.

I feel like
something celebratory,

Something to signify a fresh
start and a new future.

Beer?

All right.

But can you make it imported?

So, how do you think
things went today?

Pretty well.

Ah, a few people complained
about the pink walls,

Which was odd,
because they're not pink,

They're dusty rose.

Some say toe-May-Toe,
some say toe-Mah-Toe.

Right.

But, just for the record,
around here it's always toe-May-Toe.

One thing's for sure,
Hank hated it.

Why do you say that?

Bllppp!

I can read people.

Oh, hey, dad.

Return that video by tomorrow
or i'll charge you a late fee.

Good luck collecting that.

Dad rented

Oh, that's one of my
favourite movies.

Did you like it?

Yeah, sure. It was pretty good.

You got the vcr hooked up?

Of course, a piece of cake.

Really?

What was your favourite
part of the movie?

The shark parts.

Which-- Which shark parts?

They were all pretty good.

The shark in the water there
being all mean and whatnot.

Did you like the part

Where the shark
fought the dinosaur?

Yeah.

Yeah, it was okay, I guess.

How about where the shark
grows legs and climbs up

On the beach and has a sword
fight with the sheriff?

Ah, that part was a little
far fetched for my taste.

My favourite part was when the
shark went back to his home planet.

It made me cry.

Yeah, it choked me up too.

I gotta go.

He must have the
director's cut.

I wish Hank would stop
this stupid boycott.

I've known him
since we were six.

I'll talk to him.

I can probably reason with him.

That'd be great.

There, just like
when we were six.

What the hell are you doing?

You don't need tools to
hook up a video machine.

How would you know?

We use them at the
church sometimes.

What are you doing?

You'll do it wrong and it
will blow up in my face.

The video machine
has three plugs,

Red, yellow and white.

The tv has three holes,

Red, yellow and white.

Honestly!

Oh, it's one of the
japanese models.

Sure, yeah.

They just do the--
The plug thing, the japanese ones.

I swear you're getting dumber.

I am not.

Come on. Pickup trucks?

I didn't know what
you were doing.

You're not going to
intimidate me with your

Strong-Arm goon tactics.

I'm standing by my principles.

Your principles.
Are you lech walesa?

It's a coat of paint
and tablecloths.

Get over it.

The walls are pink,
Brent, pink.

You're drinking your coffee
in a barbie dream house.

It's not pink.

It's dusted tomato.

Don't you think
you're overreacting?

I mean, come on, a boycott?

Look it,
i'm not clubbin' baby seals in here

And i'm not using honduran
children to make sneakers.

You could be clubbing baby
seals with hondurian children,

I don't care about that.

But this? Come on!

First of all, it's not

Second, this has
gone on long enough.

The walls are a
different colour

And you can't see inside
the salt shakers.

But the coffee's still great.

And there won't be
any more changes.

Lacey, tell him.

Lacey, tell him there's not
going to be any more changes.

You're not done
with the changes?

I'm getting the feeling there
are yet to be further changes.

Emma!

You set this up wrong.

There's supposed to
be a sword fight.

Who's dumber now?

Huh, Emma?

There it is, my last change.

What do you think?

Hank, if you still boycott
the place after this,

I'm gonna break more
than your sign.

You did a real good
thing here, Lacey.

Let's go inside.
I want to buy a round of coffee.

When I say "round of coffee,"
I just mean Brent and me.

Everyone else is on their own.

I don't care what it
says on the dashboard,

I'm always car 1. Fine.

So you were able to survive
the big boycott, were ya?

Does Hank always get so
worked up over nothing?

No, just most of the time.

Ah.

So what can I get ya?

Oh, i'm starvin'.

Can I get the chilI
cheese dog, please?

Oh, i'm sorry,
I took the hotdogs of the menu.

vertical

Www.Verticalsync.Com

* I don't know the same
things you don't know *

* I don't know
I just don't know *

* it's a great big place *

* full of nothin'
but space *

* and it's my happy place *

* I don't know
yes you do *

* you just won't admit it *

* I don't know the same
things you don't know *

We're on the interweb
at cornergas.Com

* I don't know *

* I just don't know **