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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,540 Previously on "Workin' Moms": 2 00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:08,808 Frankie, no. 3 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,710 I'm going to take a bath. Alone. 4 00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:12,812 I haven't introduced myself since you returned. 5 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,714 I'm Marvin. I'm the new manager. 6 00:00:14,749 --> 00:00:15,982 Frankie, listen to me, okay? 7 00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:18,485 I know you're scared,all right? I'm scared. 8 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,120 What? You've always got your shit together, man, 9 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,521 you're like a cop. 10 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,123 I know what you're up to at work, okay? 11 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,891 - I'm not an idiot. - Ian! 12 00:00:24,926 --> 00:00:27,649 Probably let you two duke it out right here and now. 13 00:00:27,764 --> 00:00:30,633 - I'll kill you. - Oh. 14 00:00:32,262 --> 00:00:33,767 Lesbian, I stick to lesbian porn. 15 00:00:33,792 --> 00:00:35,926 - Really? - Yeah, yeah. 16 00:00:35,961 --> 00:00:38,429 I mean, I'm not a lesbian, obvs, but... 17 00:00:38,463 --> 00:00:40,698 I just find it it's the only kind of porn 18 00:00:40,732 --> 00:00:42,967 that doesn't look like someone's getting hurt. 19 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,927 You know? Frankie? You know what I mean, right? 20 00:00:44,952 --> 00:00:46,835 - I don't watch porn. - Really? At all? 21 00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,373 Yeah. No, would always seem like such a weird thing to do. 22 00:00:49,407 --> 00:00:51,271 You know, watching strangers have sex? 23 00:00:51,296 --> 00:00:53,031 It's like watching somebody go to the bathroom. 24 00:00:53,056 --> 00:00:54,011 Hm. 25 00:00:54,045 --> 00:00:56,514 Sometimes it's exactly what the doctor ordered. 26 00:00:56,548 --> 00:00:57,848 Oh, for sure. 27 00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:00,251 Sometimes you can even use it like Pinterest, for sex. 28 00:01:00,285 --> 00:01:01,552 What do you mean? 29 00:01:01,586 --> 00:01:02,787 Like you see them doing something, 30 00:01:02,821 --> 00:01:05,256 and you're like yeah, I should try that sometime. 31 00:01:05,290 --> 00:01:06,724 What kind of stuff? 32 00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:10,528 Like positions to try or like the odd haircut. 33 00:01:10,562 --> 00:01:12,530 Sometimes even elegant nail art. 34 00:01:12,564 --> 00:01:15,195 Uh-uh, porno sex is no place for long nails. 35 00:01:15,220 --> 00:01:17,935 I use porn to get ideas for sex noises. 36 00:01:17,969 --> 00:01:20,271 Yes! Whadda you got? 37 00:01:20,305 --> 00:01:22,782 Oh really? Okay uh... 38 00:01:24,348 --> 00:01:27,311 Oh no, no, no, no... 39 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,881 No, no, no, no. 40 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,618 Oh. Oh. Yes, no! 41 00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:38,589 What was that? A wounded animal? 42 00:01:38,623 --> 00:01:40,891 Uh sorta, it's like a bunny girl. 43 00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,626 - Bunny? - Girl? 44 00:01:42,661 --> 00:01:44,895 Yeah, but don't worry, it's animated, so. 45 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,931 Wait, your porn is a cartoon? 46 00:01:46,965 --> 00:01:49,800 Yeah, it's anime, so yeah, it's like fancy. 47 00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:51,368 It's called Hentai. 48 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,636 It's Japanese, right? 49 00:01:52,671 --> 00:01:54,880 So like all the women are super subservient. 50 00:01:54,905 --> 00:01:57,308 They'll be like, an obese bus driver, 51 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:59,618 and he's yelling at a girl to get off his bus. 52 00:01:59,644 --> 00:02:01,345 But she won't go. 53 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,414 So he gets all worked up, 54 00:02:03,448 --> 00:02:05,106 and then they just do it. 55 00:02:09,287 --> 00:02:10,588 Or like uh... 56 00:02:10,622 --> 00:02:12,823 a bunny girl will run into a wolf man in the woods. 57 00:02:12,858 --> 00:02:15,759 I'm sorry, an obese bus driver? 58 00:02:15,794 --> 00:02:19,563 The girls, like are they children? 59 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,735 Oh God, no. Jesus, Alicia, they're of age. 60 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,179 They're women. 61 00:02:24,204 --> 00:02:25,903 They're just meek, subservient women. 62 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:29,273 One could say that they have the minds of a child, 63 00:02:29,307 --> 00:02:31,909 but the bodies and the hormones, 64 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,678 of fully-developed Japanese women. 65 00:02:36,714 --> 00:02:37,745 Yeah. 66 00:02:41,646 --> 00:02:42,947 You got some problems. 67 00:02:46,994 --> 00:02:50,003 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 68 00:02:50,028 --> 00:02:54,851 I mean, like it was low and saggy, but this guy... 69 00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:59,983 he was so old and proper. Mm. 70 00:03:00,475 --> 00:03:02,956 Kept looking at me like I was a disappointment to him. 71 00:03:02,981 --> 00:03:04,988 It was hot. 72 00:03:05,013 --> 00:03:06,822 Hello? 73 00:03:07,684 --> 00:03:09,495 Is that Marvin? 74 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,675 Yeah. 75 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,667 Has he responded to your comment yet? 76 00:03:12,703 --> 00:03:14,970 - No. - Of course not. 77 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,239 What do you mean? 78 00:03:17,274 --> 00:03:19,342 You wrote 'I love pants'. 79 00:03:19,376 --> 00:03:20,676 What is he gonna say to that? 80 00:03:20,711 --> 00:03:22,745 So what am I supposed to write? 81 00:03:22,779 --> 00:03:24,080 Get outta my way. 82 00:03:24,114 --> 00:03:25,848 Hm. What are you doing? 83 00:03:25,882 --> 00:03:27,383 This is how you start an affair. 84 00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,721 No, I don't want to start an affair. 85 00:03:28,746 --> 00:03:31,014 Shut up. 86 00:03:33,557 --> 00:03:35,858 Delete that. How do you... oh my God. 87 00:03:35,892 --> 00:03:37,293 Speak of the devil. 88 00:03:37,327 --> 00:03:39,128 Jenny. 89 00:03:39,162 --> 00:03:41,314 - Hi, Marvin. - Hey, Marv. 90 00:03:42,619 --> 00:03:45,376 Uh, could verify this code for me? 91 00:03:45,401 --> 00:03:47,668 Just wanna get it back to me when you're done? 92 00:03:52,809 --> 00:03:54,810 - Okay, thanks. Hey. - Yeah. 93 00:03:58,804 --> 00:04:00,850 Do you think Gary ever gets laid? 94 00:04:00,884 --> 00:04:03,119 Gena, delete that. Right now. 95 00:04:03,153 --> 00:04:05,087 I'm gonna leave that up to you. I gotta go. 96 00:04:05,122 --> 00:04:07,123 Gena! Shi... 97 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,885 So, to properly evaluate both of you, 98 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,621 we have to factor in things like client revenues, 99 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,423 and margins and outcomes. 100 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,991 Once we have all of that collated, 101 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,427 we can figure out who's best to send for Montreal. 102 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,662 - Sounds amazing. - Uh, I'm sorry, 103 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,330 should I be concerned that I haven't been here 104 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:25,698 for the last nine months? 105 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:29,436 I mean, our last years haven't exactly been neck-and-neck. 106 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,703 No, of course not. 107 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:33,039 We'll factor all that in when we do your evaluation. 108 00:04:33,074 --> 00:04:35,275 - Okay? - Okay. Really though? 109 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,744 It just, uh, it just feels like my recent numbers 110 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,512 are gonna pale in comparison to Mo's. 111 00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:42,449 He just said they'll take that into consideration. 112 00:04:43,105 --> 00:04:44,884 Thanks for the comfort, Mo. 113 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,654 I just... 114 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,989 Look, Kate, if you're at all concerned about this, 115 00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:52,058 why don't you put together a portfolio 116 00:04:52,093 --> 00:04:54,861 of all your top accounts over the past few years. 117 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,496 - Oh really? - Yeah. 118 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,631 Oh, that would be great. Thank you so much. 119 00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:01,501 Absolutely. You know I've always had a soft spot for you. 120 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:02,836 Thank you, Richard. 121 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,300 Mhm. By 5:00 today, okay? 122 00:05:05,325 --> 00:05:07,423 - Wait, five? - Yup! 123 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:17,484 All right. 124 00:05:56,624 --> 00:06:00,927 Angry bus driver... 125 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,535 You really gotta get curtains. 126 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,957 Can I help you find something? 127 00:06:32,387 --> 00:06:34,789 Yeah, my libido. 128 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:38,613 Uh, I just had a baby, 129 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:42,735 and I mean, I got kinda depressed and you know like, 130 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,537 postpartum or whatever, 131 00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:47,040 and then my friend, Anne, who's also kind of my shrink, 132 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,809 she put me on some drugs and she's like you gotta, 133 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,811 you know, reawaken that sex drive. 134 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:54,914 I'm like, knock, knock, are you even in there? 135 00:06:55,556 --> 00:06:58,051 My sex drive, I mean. 136 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,656 You know what, I am just gonna grab this and go. 137 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:07,250 That is a tool meant to help with penis enlargement. 138 00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:09,110 Is that what you're looking for today? 139 00:07:09,465 --> 00:07:11,766 - No. - Come, let's talk. 140 00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:15,868 So, you're a professional sex guy. 141 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,846 How do you keep it hot? Like, toys? 142 00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:20,121 Lube? 143 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,183 Orgies? 144 00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,785 My solution will not be your solution. 145 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,354 Your challenge is unique. 146 00:07:27,388 --> 00:07:29,156 It's like Rumi said, 147 00:07:30,391 --> 00:07:35,329 "The wound is the place where the light enters you." 148 00:07:37,247 --> 00:07:40,100 So the wound is my vagine, 149 00:07:40,134 --> 00:07:42,422 and the light is a strap-on? 150 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:47,766 Sometimes sex is not about sex. 151 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,310 The most exciting part about sex for me, 152 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,745 is my partner. 153 00:07:51,779 --> 00:07:54,381 Or sometimes it's just a little kiss, 154 00:07:54,415 --> 00:07:57,220 or a backrub, or a cuddle. 155 00:07:58,553 --> 00:08:00,654 That's so beautiful, man. 156 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:03,023 You're really great to talk to. 157 00:08:03,908 --> 00:08:05,942 Wanna go grab an omelette or something? 158 00:08:05,977 --> 00:08:08,011 Thank you for the warm invitation, 159 00:08:08,045 --> 00:08:10,313 but if I went for every omelette or frittata 160 00:08:10,348 --> 00:08:13,283 that was offered me, I would be the egg man. 161 00:08:18,768 --> 00:08:21,124 Hi, Jenny. 162 00:08:22,193 --> 00:08:24,194 Marvin, hi. 163 00:08:26,829 --> 00:08:29,531 You're looking extra good today. 164 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,601 Is... is that a new shirt? 165 00:08:32,687 --> 00:08:35,906 Uh, it's-it's my father's. I mean, it was-was my father's. 166 00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:38,959 My mother gave me the contents of his closet after he died. 167 00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:44,915 Oh, well, your dad must have been one sexy guy. 168 00:08:44,949 --> 00:08:46,249 Oh God. 169 00:08:46,284 --> 00:08:48,218 What a mess. 170 00:08:49,287 --> 00:08:52,093 Oh, the whole floor is wet. 171 00:08:55,025 --> 00:08:58,394 Oh, I'm just so clumsy. 172 00:08:58,429 --> 00:09:00,897 Oh, there's so much milk here. 173 00:09:02,046 --> 00:09:04,047 Um... Jenny, 174 00:09:05,036 --> 00:09:06,836 I think it's best that you stay off Facebook 175 00:09:06,871 --> 00:09:08,239 while you're at work. 176 00:09:10,308 --> 00:09:13,767 Uh, of course. 177 00:09:18,049 --> 00:09:21,451 - It's just that uh... - Is that my soy milk? 178 00:09:21,485 --> 00:09:23,887 Wh-wha... 179 00:09:23,921 --> 00:09:26,556 - No, no it's not your soy milk. - What a mess. 180 00:09:26,590 --> 00:09:28,644 Relax, Gary, it's just some milk. 181 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:32,496 - No, I meant you. - Excuse me? 182 00:09:32,521 --> 00:09:34,489 I was just processing some of your code, 183 00:09:34,531 --> 00:09:36,332 and there was a bunch of errors in it. 184 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:37,533 And then I come in here, 185 00:09:37,568 --> 00:09:38,835 and there's milk all over the place. 186 00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,737 It's not all over the place. 187 00:09:40,771 --> 00:09:43,727 Can you just... can you just go? 188 00:09:43,752 --> 00:09:45,308 I don't need an audience. 189 00:09:45,342 --> 00:09:48,444 No, you need a mop. And a clean pair of pants. 190 00:09:50,346 --> 00:09:53,147 Why can't I walk through a fuckin' drive through? 191 00:09:53,182 --> 00:09:54,983 What if I couldn't afford a fuckin' car? 192 00:09:55,017 --> 00:09:56,284 Mother fucker! 193 00:09:56,318 --> 00:09:58,620 What? You're afraid you're gonna be turned on? 194 00:09:58,654 --> 00:10:01,356 - I'm helpless? How about this? - Hell no! 195 00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:03,958 What about these? You like those? 196 00:10:03,993 --> 00:10:05,560 Will you get out of here with that shit! 197 00:10:05,594 --> 00:10:10,196 And that is all over the news 198 00:10:10,221 --> 00:10:12,422 My daughter looks up to her, actually. 199 00:10:12,457 --> 00:10:13,757 Watches her show all the time. 200 00:10:13,791 --> 00:10:16,093 Well, it's classic child star meltdown. 201 00:10:16,128 --> 00:10:18,096 It's a rite of passage, kind of like shaving. 202 00:10:18,130 --> 00:10:20,498 No, this is a lot worse than peeing 203 00:10:20,533 --> 00:10:22,120 in a mop bucket or something. It's... 204 00:10:22,145 --> 00:10:24,102 Why, because God forbids she has a sex drive? 205 00:10:24,136 --> 00:10:25,737 She's acting like she is a sex drive. 206 00:10:25,771 --> 00:10:27,909 This is bull to the shit. 207 00:10:27,934 --> 00:10:29,590 What is up with you today? 208 00:10:29,615 --> 00:10:32,450 Ah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just... 209 00:10:32,645 --> 00:10:34,412 I got shamed at my Mommy and Me group 210 00:10:34,446 --> 00:10:37,549 - for admitting I watch porn. - What? 211 00:10:37,583 --> 00:10:39,417 No one should ever be shamed for watching porn. 212 00:10:39,451 --> 00:10:41,819 Thank you, Mo. Like, you watch porn, right? 213 00:10:41,854 --> 00:10:43,755 Uh yeah, I'm a dude. 214 00:10:43,789 --> 00:10:45,814 Why not ask me if I eat food, or breathe air? 215 00:10:45,839 --> 00:10:47,559 - Nice. - He does all that shit. 216 00:10:47,593 --> 00:10:49,561 - Does a dog eat dog food? - Yes. 217 00:10:49,595 --> 00:10:52,141 Do I eat meat? Do I shit every four days? 218 00:10:52,384 --> 00:10:54,132 Uh yeah, I watch that shit, too. 219 00:10:54,166 --> 00:10:55,166 Shut up. 220 00:10:55,201 --> 00:10:56,568 What kind of porn do you watch, man? 221 00:10:56,602 --> 00:10:58,903 - I don't know, hot chicks porn? - Nice. 222 00:10:58,938 --> 00:11:03,274 Yeah, but like what category do you watch? 223 00:11:03,309 --> 00:11:06,477 Big breasts? Babysitter? Asian? BDSM? Mature? 224 00:11:06,512 --> 00:11:07,679 What's your thing? 225 00:11:07,713 --> 00:11:10,448 You know, Kate, this is the kind of conversation 226 00:11:10,482 --> 00:11:12,483 you could frame as sexual harassment. 227 00:11:12,518 --> 00:11:14,085 Even though you're starting it. 228 00:11:14,119 --> 00:11:15,687 Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Richard. 229 00:11:15,721 --> 00:11:18,356 I'm not trying to make anyone feel awkward, I'm just curious. 230 00:11:18,390 --> 00:11:21,192 Like when I told the moms what kind of porn I watched, 231 00:11:21,227 --> 00:11:23,861 they looked at me like I was a human centipede. 232 00:11:23,896 --> 00:11:26,731 Butt to mouth, mouth to butt. 233 00:11:26,765 --> 00:11:28,800 We all know what that is Kate, yeah. 234 00:11:28,834 --> 00:11:30,435 - Okay. - I'm sure you're a real sicko. 235 00:11:30,469 --> 00:11:33,304 What are you into? Bathtub and candles porn? 236 00:11:35,341 --> 00:11:38,290 Actually, I'm into Hentai. 237 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:42,023 It's animated... 238 00:11:42,048 --> 00:11:43,849 What, it's a cartoon? 239 00:11:44,149 --> 00:11:45,968 You watch this with your son? 240 00:11:45,993 --> 00:11:50,297 Oh God, no. No, no, no, it's, it's hardcore. 241 00:11:50,489 --> 00:11:52,557 Lots of fun, yeah. 242 00:11:52,591 --> 00:11:55,260 Yeah, it's like a submissive girl, 243 00:11:55,294 --> 00:11:59,530 legal age of course, who succumbs to her oppressor. 244 00:11:59,565 --> 00:12:03,101 She's scared, but then you know, she gives in. 245 00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:06,471 It's like a bunny girl and a wolf man, right. 246 00:12:06,505 --> 00:12:08,982 Or... like an angry coach. 247 00:12:09,441 --> 00:12:11,309 Climb that rope. 248 00:12:11,343 --> 00:12:13,611 Got a short-ass skirt on, he knows it, she sees it. 249 00:12:13,646 --> 00:12:15,762 He's not taking no guff. 250 00:12:15,787 --> 00:12:16,763 Good God. 251 00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,884 Come on, guys, I know you watch this stuff. 252 00:12:22,918 --> 00:12:25,620 Mo, you know what I'm talkin' about, dirty dog, Mo? 253 00:12:25,655 --> 00:12:27,656 Dirty old dog. 254 00:12:28,825 --> 00:12:30,713 Ralph? Ralphie? 255 00:12:31,194 --> 00:12:34,663 Kate, Ralph is battling testicular cancer. 256 00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:37,967 Ralph, I'm so sorry, I did not know that. I... 257 00:12:40,045 --> 00:12:41,145 Guys, I don't know, 258 00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,738 I just thought you'd be into similar stuff. 259 00:12:42,772 --> 00:12:46,008 You know, like sexy Asian schoolgirls, like oh no. 260 00:12:46,042 --> 00:12:49,311 Foster! What is wrong with you? 261 00:12:49,346 --> 00:12:51,413 Let's hope there's never any Hentai 262 00:12:51,448 --> 00:12:53,649 in your portfolio. Hmm? 263 00:12:53,683 --> 00:12:55,251 Meeting adjourned. 264 00:12:56,212 --> 00:12:58,212 But we didn't do any work. 265 00:12:58,237 --> 00:13:00,386 - Do you watch that stuff here? - No! 266 00:13:00,411 --> 00:13:01,401 No? 267 00:13:02,636 --> 00:13:04,487 You better clear your browsing history. 268 00:13:05,315 --> 00:13:06,728 How do you... 269 00:13:18,696 --> 00:13:20,764 Oh, hi. 270 00:13:20,789 --> 00:13:22,590 This won't be awkward. 271 00:13:25,712 --> 00:13:27,880 - Jenny... - What? 272 00:13:29,482 --> 00:13:31,750 Jenny, look at me. 273 00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:38,022 - You like that? - Oh, fuck no. 274 00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:40,559 Oh my God, I thought that's what you wanted. 275 00:13:40,593 --> 00:13:42,528 A finger in my mouth? 276 00:13:42,562 --> 00:13:45,597 Sorry, it's just that your post was really forward. 277 00:13:45,632 --> 00:13:47,466 Yeah, well that was a mistake. 278 00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,035 Oh. I'm sorry. I just... 279 00:13:50,070 --> 00:13:52,638 did you or did you not want me to come on to you? 280 00:13:52,672 --> 00:13:54,473 Marvin, get a hold of yourself. 281 00:13:54,507 --> 00:13:57,311 This was just some harmless office flirting, 282 00:13:57,374 --> 00:13:59,983 and I'm married. So... 283 00:14:02,405 --> 00:14:04,072 Oh my God, what is wrong with me? 284 00:14:04,106 --> 00:14:06,074 No, you're supposed to disregard my feelings 285 00:14:06,108 --> 00:14:07,904 and take what you need. 286 00:14:08,311 --> 00:14:10,312 Wait really? Are you serious? 287 00:14:10,346 --> 00:14:11,415 Yeah. 288 00:14:16,676 --> 00:14:18,446 Oh, forget it. 289 00:14:22,258 --> 00:14:23,967 Hey there. 290 00:14:23,992 --> 00:14:25,530 Hi. 291 00:14:27,063 --> 00:14:30,398 - Rough day? - Oh, you have no idea. 292 00:14:31,934 --> 00:14:34,144 Do you think I'm sexually fucked up? 293 00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:37,072 Okay, um... should I be concerned 294 00:14:37,106 --> 00:14:38,840 that the first thing that you ask me 295 00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:41,443 when you get home from work is if you're a sexual weirdo? 296 00:14:41,477 --> 00:14:42,929 No, of course not. 297 00:14:42,954 --> 00:14:45,213 And if you were sexually effed up, 298 00:14:45,248 --> 00:14:47,693 wouldn't that mean that I was too, by like proxy? 299 00:14:47,718 --> 00:14:49,224 Oh, forget it. 300 00:14:49,249 --> 00:14:51,704 Uh, no way. What's going on? 301 00:14:53,122 --> 00:14:54,112 It's just... 302 00:14:55,925 --> 00:14:57,993 I told the Mommy and Me group about the kind of porn I watch, 303 00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:59,561 and they looked at me like I had a penis 304 00:14:59,595 --> 00:15:01,020 growing out of my forehead. 305 00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:02,621 And then when I told my coworkers, 306 00:15:02,655 --> 00:15:04,163 they looked at me like my... 307 00:15:04,557 --> 00:15:06,524 like my forehead penis was deformed. 308 00:15:06,559 --> 00:15:09,315 Can we stop talking about your forehead penis? 309 00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,335 I've had sex with a lot of women... 310 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,598 - I'm sorry? - And you are like the least 311 00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:16,735 screwed up in the most ways. If anything, you're boring. 312 00:15:16,769 --> 00:15:17,789 Thank you. 313 00:15:18,571 --> 00:15:20,805 Kind of turns me on that you watch porn, though. 314 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,161 Maybe we could watch together. 315 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,779 It just might be kind of weird, 316 00:15:27,813 --> 00:15:30,472 because the porn I watch is kind of weird. 317 00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:33,361 Kate, I'm a man. I've seen porn. 318 00:15:33,853 --> 00:15:36,554 Okay. If you promise not to look at me 319 00:15:36,589 --> 00:15:38,414 like I've got a penis growing out of my... 320 00:15:38,439 --> 00:15:39,543 I promise. 321 00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:42,308 Meet me in the bedroom, 322 00:15:42,493 --> 00:15:44,155 I'll bring the wine, 323 00:15:44,180 --> 00:15:45,980 you leave your pants. 324 00:15:46,005 --> 00:15:48,209 Also bring the baby monitor. 325 00:15:48,901 --> 00:15:52,057 Okay. All right. 326 00:16:00,724 --> 00:16:03,392 So I see this guy walking down the sidewalk, right, 327 00:16:03,427 --> 00:16:05,195 with his grocery bag, and the bag rips, 328 00:16:05,229 --> 00:16:09,632 food goes all over the sidewalk, right. Apples everywhere. 329 00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:13,603 And then I notice, this guy's only got one arm. 330 00:16:13,637 --> 00:16:16,906 So I say to the guy, "Hey man, let me help you out," 331 00:16:16,941 --> 00:16:19,019 So I gather his stuff together, 332 00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:20,955 I send him on his way. 333 00:16:21,412 --> 00:16:24,047 And for a minute, I feel like a hero. 334 00:16:24,081 --> 00:16:25,824 Then I'm like, 335 00:16:25,848 --> 00:16:27,976 what is a hero, you know? 336 00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:30,833 I was in that... 337 00:16:32,456 --> 00:16:35,225 Jenny? Jenny, are you listening? 338 00:16:35,259 --> 00:16:38,941 Uh yeah, there were apples, and you were a hero. 339 00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:42,098 Well, I don't know. I mean yeah, 340 00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:43,933 I guess it was kind of cool of me. But... 341 00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:45,502 it's what anybody would have done, you know? 342 00:16:45,536 --> 00:16:47,070 It was like the right place, at the right time, 343 00:16:47,104 --> 00:16:48,705 and Zoe was watching. I feel like subconsciously 344 00:16:48,739 --> 00:16:50,440 may have picked something up. 345 00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,543 How much nautical decor can one person have? 346 00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:53,876 These guys have too much. 347 00:16:53,911 --> 00:16:55,878 These were actually the centerpieces for their wedding, 348 00:16:55,913 --> 00:16:57,347 and I like them. They'll look good. 349 00:16:57,381 --> 00:16:59,616 I think she'll love it. And if she does start to complain... 350 00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:00,917 Don't. That tickles. 351 00:17:07,057 --> 00:17:08,825 Frankie! What the hell? 352 00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:11,961 - Giselle, we need to connect. - About what? 353 00:17:11,996 --> 00:17:13,096 I want to watch my show. 354 00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:15,331 This is perfect. Come here. 355 00:17:15,366 --> 00:17:18,368 It looks so great. 356 00:17:18,402 --> 00:17:19,902 You guys nailed it. 357 00:17:19,937 --> 00:17:22,238 What are you doing? They made the fridge invisible, 358 00:17:22,273 --> 00:17:23,439 and now they can't find it. 359 00:17:23,474 --> 00:17:25,775 Okay, we have let this go long enough. 360 00:17:25,809 --> 00:17:27,410 Okay, we need to talk. 361 00:17:27,444 --> 00:17:30,647 You know, like we need to like, hug, 362 00:17:30,681 --> 00:17:33,181 and, and, and, and communicate. 363 00:17:33,684 --> 00:17:35,385 Did Anne give you more drugs? 364 00:17:35,419 --> 00:17:37,820 No, no, no, it's just - it's just the wound 365 00:17:37,855 --> 00:17:40,816 is where the light enters my pain. 366 00:17:41,525 --> 00:17:43,542 What? 367 00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:45,161 Giselle, I'm freaking out here, okay. 368 00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:47,230 I'm going to counsellors, I'm going to sex stores, 369 00:17:47,264 --> 00:17:48,665 and meanwhile, you're just putting your head 370 00:17:48,699 --> 00:17:51,200 in the everything's okay sand, and just... 371 00:17:51,235 --> 00:17:52,291 Frankie... 372 00:17:53,304 --> 00:17:55,172 You've got my attention. 373 00:18:03,981 --> 00:18:06,582 Okay well, I've had a really hard day. 374 00:18:06,617 --> 00:18:09,752 - Mm hmm? - I burnt the dinner. 375 00:18:11,989 --> 00:18:13,575 I love you. 376 00:18:16,994 --> 00:18:19,629 Please, I'm so sorry. 377 00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:22,332 You pretend that you are scared 378 00:18:22,366 --> 00:18:25,335 but you are searching for something. 379 00:18:25,369 --> 00:18:28,738 No. Yes. I am so embarrassed. 380 00:18:28,772 --> 00:18:31,774 Silly girl. I will give you... 381 00:18:35,245 --> 00:18:39,415 Um, she was a bunny, I get that, 382 00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:42,985 - but what was he supposed to be? - A wolf. He was a wolf. 383 00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:45,621 - Right, sure. - Hmm. 384 00:18:45,656 --> 00:18:46,703 Hmm. 385 00:18:48,392 --> 00:18:50,626 You think I'm royally effed up. 386 00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:52,428 I'm just confused. 387 00:18:52,463 --> 00:18:53,996 Are you trying to tell me something with this? 388 00:18:54,031 --> 00:18:55,765 Oh my God, no. Mhm. 389 00:18:55,799 --> 00:18:58,568 I mean, I always try to treat you like an equal, 390 00:18:58,602 --> 00:19:00,870 but this makes me think you want to be like submissive? 391 00:19:00,904 --> 00:19:02,605 - No. - Like, do you want me 392 00:19:02,639 --> 00:19:03,940 - to shame you? - I do not. 393 00:19:03,974 --> 00:19:06,109 Do you want me to dress up as a wolf and shame you? 394 00:19:06,143 --> 00:19:09,212 I... I do not. 395 00:19:09,246 --> 00:19:11,047 I just I... 396 00:19:11,952 --> 00:19:14,450 I just have to be so strong all the time. 397 00:19:14,485 --> 00:19:15,981 - Right. Yeah. - You know? 398 00:19:16,006 --> 00:19:18,516 And so sometimes it's just fun 399 00:19:18,541 --> 00:19:20,957 to imagine that I'm like a... 400 00:19:20,991 --> 00:19:24,527 a small bunny, in a very small skirt, 401 00:19:24,561 --> 00:19:27,897 who's wandered into a petting zoo type of a situation. 402 00:19:27,931 --> 00:19:30,633 And all these hands are on me, 403 00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:32,668 and there's only one way to get out, 404 00:19:32,703 --> 00:19:35,658 and that's to be brutally shamed... 405 00:19:36,422 --> 00:19:37,898 through sex. 406 00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:43,252 But I... as a real-life human woman, do not want that. 407 00:19:45,349 --> 00:19:46,785 Does that make sense? 408 00:19:47,217 --> 00:19:48,785 I think so. 409 00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:52,288 Okay just, I have to say, 410 00:19:52,322 --> 00:19:54,090 I feel like I really regret inviting you 411 00:19:54,124 --> 00:19:56,392 - into my shame closet. - No, no, no, no. 412 00:19:56,427 --> 00:19:58,308 There's nothing to be ashamed of. 413 00:19:58,695 --> 00:20:01,664 - I have quirks, too. - Yeah? 414 00:20:01,698 --> 00:20:03,833 - Yeah. - Really? 415 00:20:03,867 --> 00:20:06,075 - Yeah. - Like what? 416 00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:09,259 - When I was in college... - Mm hmm. 417 00:20:09,497 --> 00:20:11,772 I was hanging out with this weird group of guys. 418 00:20:11,797 --> 00:20:13,264 I like it. 419 00:20:13,289 --> 00:20:15,590 And this one time, 420 00:20:16,304 --> 00:20:18,672 we cornered a sheep and had sex with it. 421 00:20:20,375 --> 00:20:22,009 Wha...? 422 00:20:22,044 --> 00:20:24,945 Oh my God, Nathan! 423 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,615 Holy shit, you asshole. 424 00:20:27,649 --> 00:20:29,869 No, we never had sex with a sheep. 425 00:20:29,894 --> 00:20:31,595 But when I was 12, 426 00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:34,131 I jerked off while I was thinking about my cousin. 427 00:20:34,165 --> 00:20:36,099 - Which cousin? - Teresa. 428 00:20:36,134 --> 00:20:37,868 Ugh, Tere... disgusting. 429 00:20:37,902 --> 00:20:39,203 You know what, let's just stay 430 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,738 out of each other's shame closets. 431 00:20:41,539 --> 00:20:44,505 - Okay, bunny. - You think I'm a sicko? 432 00:20:44,976 --> 00:20:46,877 No, no. 433 00:20:46,911 --> 00:20:49,947 I think your porn is not my porn. 434 00:20:51,382 --> 00:20:53,155 You are my porn. 435 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,687 Hm, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. 436 00:20:57,017 --> 00:20:58,889 If that's true, that's sad. 437 00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:02,125 Makes me really horny. 31462

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