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1
00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:04,000
It was a mistake, John.
2
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,440
Make them with your family.
Not mine.
3
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,840
Jason Maddox is a minor.
Pretty major minor.
4
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:10,640
He's a MINOR.
5
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,680
From the bottom of my heart,
what I said and did -
6
00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,040
it came from the right place,
and ended in the wrong one.
7
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,840
This is Diana and Dodi
all over again.
8
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,400
I have to leave them.
9
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,680
If you really leave, say "goodbye".
10
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,040
I can see why Katie fell for ya.
11
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:28,440
# Katie in Canada... #
12
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,960
What did he mean, Sami? Time to go!
13
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000
What did he mean?!
14
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,920
Can I come in? Yeah. You OK?
15
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,800
Where's he gone?
I told you, asylum accommodation.
16
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,240
Back to the hotel.
He's not speaking to me.
17
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,240
Peter and I just wanted to have
a little chat.
18
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:25,720
Let's all sit down, shall we?
19
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,480
Everything that's happened,
John...
20
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,640
..you need to know that adults
aren't perfect.
21
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:42,920
Despite what you might think,
adults make mistakes.
22
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,520
No, I definitely think that. Right.
23
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:45,840
That's all you do.
24
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,520
If you did anything right, I'd call
the fucking papers. Language.
25
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,000
I'm telling you off.
26
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,000
Your mother and I going to get
through this. Yes.
27
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,040
Taken a few hits.
28
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:58,240
There's been a few cracks,
but we have strong foundations,
29
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,960
and tremendous structural integrity.
30
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,120
These twin towers are here to stay.
31
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,160
Peter. I'm terribly sorry,
that got away from me.
32
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,520
What?!
33
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:09,560
Yes?
34
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:17,080
I actually get quite nervous,
when you look at me like that.
35
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,840
I know you're not judging me, it
just feels like you're judging me.
36
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,200
I AM judging you.
Well, that's certainly good to know.
37
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,360
The case has been thrown out -
caution for inappropriate language.
38
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,920
But...I've got my job back.
39
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,080
Would you like to walk me to school?
40
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,040
Have a good day. You, too.
41
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,360
Hello.
42
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,400
Hello.
43
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:46,440
You OK?
44
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,760
I couldn't do it. It's all right.
45
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,720
I couldn't do it,
I knew what they were thinking,
46
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,600
and I know they'll always
be thinking it.
47
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,240
I can't do it, Peter!
48
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,920
You don't have to.
49
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,520
But what do you mean?
They've offered me my old job back.
50
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,520
You don't have to take it.
Find another.
51
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,160
But what about...? We'll be fine.
52
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,720
I'll be more than fine,
we'll be happy.
53
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,400
Close your eyes. Don't be daft.
Close your eyes.
54
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,920
Close...your...eyes.
55
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,480
Give me your nose.
56
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,360
Give me your nose.
57
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:21,400
Eyes.
58
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,560
Where do you see us?
59
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,680
Could be anywhere, what do you see?
60
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:29,960
Africa.
61
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,120
Theroux's? Mm-hm.
62
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,880
Middle of nowhere.
63
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,160
The only English people for miles.
64
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,640
Doing something we believe in.
65
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,680
Sounds like Zulu. Shut up. Sorry.
66
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,040
We're surrounded by locals...
67
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,240
Got to say,
it really sounds like Zulu.
68
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,200
You've built a school. I'm teaching.
69
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,120
John has new friends.
70
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,160
We're happy.
71
00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:59,160
But right now, I want to do
something for my son.
72
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,440
You going to stay being
a taxi driver?
73
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,400
Nah.
74
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,360
Surprise!
75
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,040
You're adopting me, as well?
76
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,880
Is Sami here? He's with you.
77
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,840
He came back here. No, he didn't.
I haven't seen him for weeks.
78
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,880
Sorry.
79
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,920
- How did he sound?
- Not good.
80
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,400
We had an argument.
May I ask about what?
81
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,960
Him coming here. Well, that's it.
He's gone to Berlin.
82
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:42,880
No. What do you mean "no"?
It was so late, he was shouting.
83
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,760
He lost his mind.
I haven't seen him like this.
84
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,440
Why did he leave you?
Did you kick him out? No!
85
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,760
It's...complicated.
86
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,880
You means everything to him.
87
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,400
He loves you, Katy.
88
00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,200
Hello?
89
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,120
All right?
90
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,760
Fortnite?
91
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,800
That's right, mate. Take it all out
on a bunch of 12-year-old
92
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,400
Korean kids you'll never meet.
93
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,560
Come on. Shut it down.
94
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,920
Mum'll go mad if she finds you're
still playing up here...
95
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,920
I'm just watching Sami's last game.
Oh?
96
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,200
What's strange about this?
97
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,040
I don't know. Never played.
Doesn't matter, just watch.
98
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:44,960
He's not fighting anyone.
99
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,000
He's just running.
100
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:52,800
Never fights.
101
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,920
Just runs away from it all.
102
00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,240
Over the hills.
103
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:02,280
Runs and runs.
104
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,360
Here you go. Cheers, Alice.
105
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:15,880
All right? Have you seen Sami?
106
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:17,480
Not for a bit - why?
107
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,840
He's gone somewhere.
108
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,440
He'll be back. How do you know?
109
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,320
He promised me he'd say goodbye.
110
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,680
Would you let us know if you
hear from him? Sure.
111
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:32,840
Heard from him!
112
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,320
What?
113
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:38,800
I-I don't understand.
114
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:39,840
We like crosswords.
115
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:45,040
"Jar twists", so...anagram of jar.
116
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,560
Think of another word for
"both ways".
117
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,320
Oh, I don't know, I'm shit at these.
118
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,240
He promised.
119
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,880
Where is he?
Where did he send it from...?
120
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,360
Greece. Well, where in Greece?
Christ, it could be anywhere.
121
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,880
It could be one of the islands,
it could be... Didymoteicho.
122
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:03,920
What? He's in Didymoteicho.
How do you know he's?
123
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,680
It's written on the back
of the postcard?
124
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:09,400
Well, for fuck's sake, Katy.
Come on. Thanks, Raj. Bye, Raj!
125
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:10,680
What are you doing, Sami?
126
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,720
He hasn't gone on holiday.
127
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,600
You don't know that! He might have!
128
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,280
Didymoteicho's on the mainland.
129
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,640
Syrian refugees do not go on
holiday to Greece.
130
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:23,680
That is like taking David
Attenborough fucking seal-clubbing.
131
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,000
OK, so he didn't go to Greece,
and the postcard's not from him.
132
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,440
Who says it's from him? He's right
by the border with Turkey.
133
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,400
You know it's from him.
It's a refugee crossing.
134
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,920
OK. Look, my point is he has
gone away, he's on a break.
135
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,760
Let's not worry about it!
He'll be back!
136
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,560
He's going home.
Exactly, he'll come home.
137
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,240
No, he's going home to Syria. What?
138
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,200
That Greek town's right by the
Evros River.
139
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,640
Googled it - refugees cross there
from Turkey into Greece.
140
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,920
But he's going the other way.
He's going back.
141
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,360
Who would do that?
Someone who ran out on family.
142
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:50,800
Let's get him. Let's get him!
143
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:54,880
OK, let's all just take a breath
for a moment - this is a theory
144
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:58,280
that you've worked out on the back
of an envelope... Postcard.
145
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,880
My point is, we don't even know
if any of this is true.
146
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,800
It's a long shot. If you want it
enough, long shots can come true.
147
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,760
Oh, that's absolutely gorgeous.
Who said that?
148
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,480
I don't fucking know -
Lee Harvey Oswald?
149
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,480
He has gone home! Leave him alone.
150
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:10,800
I don't want to leave him alone.
151
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,600
Yes, well, you made that
absolutely clear.
152
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:16,360
Oh, we're doing this again, are we?
Oh, well, I guess we are! Yep. Yep!
153
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,120
I was under an enormous
amount of pressure.
154
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,480
So was I.
I found comfort in the gig economy.
155
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,000
Where did you find it?
In the mouth of a ginormous man.
156
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,160
Aren't people funny?!
157
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,360
Maybe I needed that snog.
Maybe I needed it.
158
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:29,920
Was he good?
159
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,480
Oh, he was tremendous.
160
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,640
Beard get in the way?
You bet it did.
161
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,680
It was like pulling Hagrid.
Oh, great, that sound really great.
162
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,040
Compared to you, with your tongue
rummaging around like
163
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:40,440
a Boxing Day shopper.
164
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:44,960
Being held by you...is like falling
into a fucking drying rack.
165
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,960
You want to know why I kissed him?
You weren't there.
166
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,000
Oh, I see. Anything else you want to
blame on me because I wasn't there?
167
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:54,440
World War I? AIDS?
The closure of fucking Woolworths?!
168
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,440
We're wasting time! Let's go.
169
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,840
Right, let's pack! Not you.
170
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,000
I want to go with Peter.
171
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,480
Why me? Maybe you should - if you're
so worried about Sami and I,
172
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,760
and it's clearly what John wants.
Maybe you should take him.
173
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,840
Maybe I will.
Turn it into a male-bonding trip.
174
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,720
Nothing would make me happier.
Great. Great. Great. Great!
175
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,040
Have you seen this man?
Very big, like a homeless Pavarotti.
176
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:19,080
No? Great? OK.
177
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,800
Excuse me. I know Greece is wrong
place to ask this, but we're looking
178
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,520
for an enormous man with a beard.
179
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,240
You seen this man?
180
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,960
OK. Thank you. Enjoy the...wall.
181
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,160
Hi. Er, phone this number,
if you see this man.
182
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,880
Have you seen this man?
183
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,560
You see this man?
184
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,840
Hell...er, maybe not.
No. Right, erm...
185
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,400
Hello. Hi.
186
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,440
We're looking for this man -
means a lot to my son.
187
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,160
I'm not your son. No, that's right.
188
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,520
I'm actually in a volatile
relationship with his mother,
189
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,920
and he's just sort of came with
the package. You're nice!
190
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,200
Came with the package?
What am I, bubble wrap?
191
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,880
John. I was joking, John!
192
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,800
Where are you going?
193
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,160
John?
194
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,760
People like bubble wrap, John!
195
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,280
What's that?
196
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,840
It's a game that my father used
to play with me on holiday.
197
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,280
What's it called?
198
00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,840
It's called "Strawberry Ice Cream...
199
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,320
"..Taramasalata".
200
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,160
You start.
201
00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:58,840
Ice cream.
202
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,000
Yep. That was...beginner's luck.
203
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,680
Cigarette?
204
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,680
Er...no. Sorry.
205
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,200
Thank you.
206
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,120
You surprise me.
207
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,280
I'm a conundrum, John.
208
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,240
Surprise me again.
209
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,440
I can dislocate
my left thumb at will.
210
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,480
Go on.
211
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,400
That's fucked up. Language.
212
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:33,440
But, yes. Thank you.
213
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,720
You...you speak English?
214
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,040
No.
215
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,080
Right.
216
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,520
Harry Kane?
217
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:50,160
Harry Kane. Mm...Harry Kane.
218
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,200
Harry Kane. Harry Kane. Harry Kane.
Harry Kane. Harry Kane.
219
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,400
Harry Kane.
220
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,800
Harry Kane. Oh...Harry Kane.
Harry Kane.
221
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,160
I am Iraqi. What?
222
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,120
I...Iraqi.
223
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,880
Iraq! It's from Iraq.
224
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,520
Ooh, Iraq? Yeah.
225
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,000
Ahh!
226
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:19,840
Can you help us?
227
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,240
We're looking for a friend.
228
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,160
No. No.
229
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,400
Where's the crossing into Turkey?
230
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,520
Huh? Where would he cross?
231
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,280
Look, John, it's a big place.
232
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,880
He's not going to know where...
233
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,280
Thank you.
234
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000
Which one was it?
235
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,160
Don't think he gives a shit.
236
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,200
Quite right, too.
237
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,360
Right. Back to the hotel.
238
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:25,720
Bye-bye.
239
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:41,720
Let's keep looking.
240
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,400
All right? Hi.
241
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,240
I'm going to invite myself in.
242
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,480
Come back to school. Please?
243
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:09,920
I tried.
244
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,800
Yeah, I heard. Hit that corridor.
245
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,960
It was like the landing
craft hitting Omaha Beach.
246
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,520
You should have stuck around.
247
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,480
It was chicken
schnitzel for lunch. Mm.
248
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,320
Give yourself a bit of time and call
me when you're ready.
249
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,080
I'm not sure I'm coming back.
250
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,760
Come on, Katy. It's in your blood.
251
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,200
So's anaemia.
252
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,640
You can never really leave teaching,
you know that?
253
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,560
It's like the Mafia.
254
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,880
Or LinkedIn.
255
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,440
It'll always be there.
256
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,400
Just got to find that passion again.
257
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,520
Think about that first spark, why
you got into it in the first place.
258
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,920
Because Darren Lansley was going
to do teacher training
259
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,800
and he went down on me
at Monsters Of Rock.
260
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,680
They say it's a vocation.
261
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,800
Vocation for Darren Lansley.
262
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:54,760
I've been doing this job for nearly
20 years and, in the last few weeks,
263
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,040
it hasn't quite found
the grounds to fire me.
264
00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,440
I'm not really feeling the love
in the room. You know what I mean?
265
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,600
I know this feels
like a stain on your reputation.
266
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,200
It's not a stain.
267
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,200
It's a scar.
268
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,880
And every time I step back in that
building, it'll open up.
269
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,280
I can't do that to myself.
270
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,320
I need a new start.
271
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,080
The kids will miss you.
272
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,440
Trust me, Diana, they'll care least
out of everyone.
273
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,240
You sure about that?
274
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,360
Nah, I'm done.
275
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,560
Right, um...
276
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,400
Call me if you change
your mind.
277
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,680
Yeah.
278
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:40,840
Come on.
279
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,360
What happened? It's a no.
280
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,440
Why? She doesn't like you any more.
281
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,880
I'll ask you one more time.
Have you seen this man?
282
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,360
Doesn't say much, does she?
283
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,920
Hello, have you...
Have you seen this...
284
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,560
It's all right, John, they're Greek.
285
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,480
They've got a lot on their mind
at the moment.
286
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,760
Send me the location he sent us.
287
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,360
Oh, John.
288
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,000
It's a needle in a haystack, mate.
289
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,040
He's probably already made
the crossing.
290
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:27,080
Please!
291
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,080
You've got to chase.
292
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,560
Not always. What do you mean?
293
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,640
Oh, God, John. I'm chasing Sami,
chasing Elliot.
294
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,080
You're obviously just looking
for a father figure.
295
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:49,760
And sometimes
you need to settle... For you?
296
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,240
You thought Elliot was an arsehole.
Yes. Yes, I did.
297
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,040
At least arseholes do something.
298
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,840
I don't know what it is you do.
You're not an arsehole.
299
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,280
You're... You're an appendix.
Thank you.
300
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,800
What's that make me? Stuck between
an appendix and an arsehole.
301
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,760
Well, I'm not a doctor, John,
but I'm pretty sure
302
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,000
it makes you a dick.
303
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:15,680
What was your dad like? Oh, God.
304
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,120
Did he live with you?
305
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,080
Yeah, yeah.
306
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:20,600
He sounded fun.
307
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,640
Not sure fun's quite the word.
308
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:24,960
Why?
309
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,800
I was seven years old,
Christmas Eve, I can't sleep.
310
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,960
And I hear a noise downstairs.
311
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,880
So, I go down to the living room,
and I find Father Christmas
312
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,320
completely naked on my sofa.
313
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:47,440
You see, my dad had been
all day in the pub,
314
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,520
and he'd come back and decided
to dress up as Santa Claus.
315
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,840
And he'd taken all his clothes off
and put the hat and the beard on.
316
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:57,240
But he had passed out
before he could do the rest.
317
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,360
Not exactly the sack
I was hoping for.
318
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,600
Anyway, the next morning I woke up
and Santa was gone.
319
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:06,960
Huge relief.
320
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,640
And I went to tell my dad,
who was upstairs by now.
321
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,560
And he was OUTRAGED.
322
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,360
And he got up, sat me down,
and he forced me to write
323
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,960
a letter of complaint
to the North Pole. Whoa!
324
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,400
"Dear Santa. Well, I hope
you're happy with yourself.
325
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,720
"This behaviour is unacceptable.
326
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:31,760
"You have let yourself down,
you have let the elves down."
327
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,720
Oh, God. He was brilliant. He was.
328
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,400
He was... He was really brilliant.
329
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,680
What happened next Christmas?
330
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,880
That was the last Christmas
I spent with my dad.
331
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,120
What's the moral of the story?
332
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,120
There's no such thing as Santa.
333
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,080
Men run away.
334
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,320
You don't always get a happy ending.
335
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,080
I'm going to find Sami.
336
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,800
Have you ever thought about living
somewhere else, John?
337
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,280
Like where?
338
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,320
Have you seen Zulu? No.
339
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,320
Check it out. OK.
340
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,360
Right, sleep.
341
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:20,400
Goodnight.
342
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,160
John?
343
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,480
John!
344
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,280
Oh, mate.
345
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,920
I couldn't find him.
346
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,640
He's gone. It's OK.
347
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:10,840
It's OK.
348
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:27,880
Sami!
349
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,880
I'm so sorry.
350
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,240
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