Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,000
Oi.
2
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,280
Oi!
3
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,760
You're in my country now. English.
4
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:26,880
Sorry, I don't understand you. This
is England, not Islamistan. English!
5
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,080
You could be talking about anything.
6
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,040
It's dangerous!
7
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,280
You meant to be here, are you?
8
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,320
Oi!
9
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,920
Just a minute, mate. Oi!
10
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,720
Right, off. Make me!
11
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,440
I'm not going anywhere.
12
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,280
Well, we're not moving until you do.
13
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:56,560
Excuse me, madam. Could I just say,
I completely agree with you. Yeah?
14
00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:00,200
Yes. He is in our country now, speak
the Queen's English, or go home.
15
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,920
Yeah, exactly, thank you! Is it too
much to ask? No, it is not.
16
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,880
He could be saying anything,
he's a security risk. Thank you!
17
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,720
I have some Arabic. Can I translate
for the safety of the passengers?
18
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:11,760
Go on, then.
19
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,560
When I get home...
20
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,600
I am going to plunge...
21
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,800
..my face between
your perfect breasts.
22
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,280
My wife, you have
such wondrous balloons.
23
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,360
They stand eager and alert,
24
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:30,960
like two small puppies that
have smelt a plate of sausages.
25
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,320
Stop now.
26
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,760
No, no, the surveillance
must continue.
27
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:38,240
And on the subject of sausages,
I am speaking to you fully erect.
28
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,800
Shut up!
29
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,760
I found Iran's nuclear programme.
It is in my pants.
30
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,480
That's bloody disgusting!
31
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,800
Did he really say all that?
32
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:05,320
I'm just a translator.
33
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,720
Don't shoot the messenger.
34
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:14,080
Busy day? Oh, I work at the surgery,
so, yeah, every day's a busy day.
35
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:19,760
You're a doctor? A nurse. A nurse?
With the National Health Service.
36
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,840
You must be very proud.
I'm very tired. Will that do?
37
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,520
Where are you from? Damascus.
38
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,520
Are you registered with a GP?
A doctor? Actually, no.
39
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,760
You should come down.
We're on North Street.
40
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:38,880
I will.
41
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,160
Wondrous balloons?
42
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,160
It's our wedding anniversary.
43
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,480
Afternoon.
44
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,640
What do you think?
What happened to our car?
45
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:20,240
I traded down to the hybrid. No, not
the Audi! Yeah, well, needs must.
46
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:23,320
Oh, she carried me across the ocean
like a pregnant mother. Steady.
47
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,520
She was exactly like
a pregnant mother.
48
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,560
You popped out and she needed
a new muffler and exhaust pipe.
49
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,640
Why are you doing this, Peter?
50
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,000
When you work for Uber, this is
basically what you drive, Sami.
51
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,640
Besides, it's a cheaper lease.
You don't need to drive a cab.
52
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,080
It's only short term
while I look for another position.
53
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,240
You've got your redundancy.
I need to do something!
54
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,720
I'm a grafter. I get the job done.
I'm Lord Sebastian Coe.
55
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,240
I'm the other Pet Shop Boy.
I'm Gaviscon!
56
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,720
Your life.
57
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:53,920
Um, Peter?
58
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,200
Middle distance runner,
cosmopolitan pop duo,
59
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,720
market-leading heartburn treatment.
Thanking you.
60
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,280
Everything OK?
He's just so fucking...
61
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,040
It's nothing to do with him.
62
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,360
I've got to go into school
to give evidence in this case.
63
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,400
Mum, where's my red hoodie?
Um, dirty clothes basket? What?
64
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,600
You said you'd wash it.
I said a lot of things, love.
65
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,600
I said bolero sleeves
would make a comeback.
66
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,480
I said Morrissey was being ironic.
I need it! I need it for tonight.
67
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,840
Hey, hey. Cool your jets, top gun.
None of you understand!
68
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,760
War?
69
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:33,720
Elliott's coming round tonight
to discuss pulling his money
out the house.
70
00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:36,680
He's a lot about his fucking dad
at the moment. OK.
71
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,480
Can you be here? Of course.
72
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,160
Er, excuse me? Why does
he have to be here? I'm here.
73
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,120
Well, in case Elliott gets physical
again. Well, I can get physical.
74
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,520
Let's get physical. I did martial
arts. You did t'ai chi.
75
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,160
I could beat him up.
You could beat him up very slowly.
76
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,120
Another terrific vote of confidence.
77
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,560
He probably won't come. Hey.
78
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,560
I'll be here.
79
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:08,280
OK. Right. I've got to go.
I'll see you later. Good luck.
80
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:22,680
Yah!
81
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,880
Buckingham Palace, please!
Jesus Christ!
82
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,280
After much soul-searching,
83
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,760
I feel it would be churlish
to turn down the knighthood.
84
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,920
Step on it!
85
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,640
The middle-class Englishman driving
the refugee. It is the future.
86
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,880
Sorry about the shouting.
It's all right, John.
87
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,520
We're all a bunch of
stressy Jessies at the moment.
88
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,760
You're really doing this Uber thing?
Yes, I'm really doing it.
89
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,520
Good.
90
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,840
Really? I'm proud of you.
91
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,160
I got you a present.
92
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:13,640
Golden tissues. You put them on the
back shelf. Every taxi has one.
93
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:14,680
Thank you.
94
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,880
Why do they have the? Nobody knows.
Such a lovely moment.
95
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:21,040
Anybody have a tissue?
96
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,560
"I have had a threesome
in a graveyard
97
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,240
and given hand jobs
in two separate pedalos."
98
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:35,560
He told me
no-one had fucked me in years.
99
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,760
I was simply disabusing him
of that notion.
100
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:43,120
When you say two separate pedalos...
Not simultaneously.
101
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,480
On two separate occasions.
Oh, good, yes.
102
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:50,040
I was going to say,
I don't think anyone's got
the requisite wingspan, so to speak.
103
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,920
Is this detail absolutely necessary?
104
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,280
That's the question
I was going to ask you.
105
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:59,000
On the grass, or...?
A raised tomb. Of course.
106
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:04,520
I said too much. Things got
out of hand. Maddox is a minor.
107
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,920
A pretty major minor. He's a minor.
108
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,080
This is bollocks, Alan.
109
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,840
We have SRE in this school
to educate our kids that sex
110
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,680
isn't a battlefield.
This boy made it a battlefield.
111
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,840
And you went over the top.
112
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,680
You slapped his bottom. No.
113
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,000
Touched? No. Felt? No.
114
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,000
Patted? No. Cupped? No!
115
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,320
Juggled?
116
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,800
Can we have a break, please? Yes.
117
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,120
How is the music department? Good.
118
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,680
What's your favourite instrument?
Bassoon.
119
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:52,960
Are we all right to continue?
120
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,120
Yep, yes.
121
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:12,360
You have English? Who? Can you write
English? Very beautifully.
122
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,600
All right, Shakespeare.
123
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,080
Fill in this registration form
and bring it back to us.
124
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,120
Thank you.
125
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,880
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Yeah, cheers.
126
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,120
It's the bus guy!
127
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,480
Ah, it's me! Welcome to
the National Health Service.
128
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,520
Thank you very much. I like
what you have done with the place.
129
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,000
Treatment is completely free?
For you, yeah. Unbelievable.
130
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,320
Although we do ask you to
pay in other ways. Oh, right.
131
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:57,840
Sorry, I don't understand.
Poetry, dance, song. Ah!
132
00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:58,880
Sexual favours.
133
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,400
I love to laugh.
134
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,560
I have a question. What's that?
135
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,160
It asks here for the address
of my previous doctor. Right?
136
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,640
But he doesn't have an address.
He joined the White Helmets.
137
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:14,360
White Helmets? Yes.
What's that, a band?
138
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,720
Yes. Rock on! Yah!
139
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:22,760
Highway to Hell. Don't worry,
I know what the White Helmets is.
140
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,200
Thank God. You can
just leave it blank. Thank you.
141
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,040
Um... Naomi Johnson. Not a problem.
142
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,800
You want to know my name?
Come back for a checkup.
143
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,680
Bye-bye.
144
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:56,960
Trent, is it? Yeah, mate.
Croydon, yeah? That's what I've got.
145
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,040
Thank you.
146
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,040
What? I said thank you.
You got a problem with something?
147
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,400
No heavy petting.
148
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,160
Heavy petting?
I don't even know what that means.
149
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,440
Yep, well, look it up.
150
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,480
People say it all the time,
all the time.
151
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:35,160
Are you telling us not to kiss?
It's my car, it's my rules.
152
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:38,360
You can hold hands, you could talk,
but I'm not having that...
153
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,920
This is a hybrid,
not the Scooby-Doo fanny wagon.
154
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,520
I don't think it was called that.
Just drive!
155
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,000
This royal throne of kings...
156
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,600
What are you doing? You're doing
what you want. I'll do what I want.
157
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,800
What is this?
Radio 4, Trent. Shakespeare!
158
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,840
Yeah, well, actually,
I love Shakespeare. So do I!
159
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,600
It really fucking turns me on. Well,
maybe I'll fucking turn it up, then.
160
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,200
I'd love you to turn it up.
..the hand of war.
161
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:14,040
This happy breed of men.
This little... Oh, God!
162
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:18,080
This precious stone
set in the silver sea... Stop it!
163
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:22,520
Cease and desist! Cease and desist!
I'm going to stop the car!
164
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,680
Drive, or I'll go faster.
165
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,480
Better keep driving, mate.
166
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,920
This is like Speed.
167
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,160
..this blessed plot, this earth,
168
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,800
this realm, this England.
169
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,840
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
170
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,560
Oh, fuck...
171
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,920
I don't think I can get through
all this.
172
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,000
You cannot get through this alone.
173
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,320
But we are a team.
174
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,160
You need to talk,
you reach out to me,
175
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,800
or you reach out to John,
our you reach out to...
176
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,640
You reach out to me again.
177
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,800
Of course, you reach out to Peter
as well.
178
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,360
Yeah, because that works,
doesn't it? It better work.
179
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,480
That's what I have been doing
with all of you.
180
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,120
Is he here yet? No.
181
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,000
I mean, he probably won't come.
182
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,360
There is the pie of the shepherd
on the stove.
183
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,120
How did it go?
184
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,400
It went.
185
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,160
Tissue box come in useful?
186
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,560
You have no idea, John.
187
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,920
You're very welcome. Anyone going to
ask me about my day?
188
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,760
How was your day, darling? Oh, fuck!
189
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,600
Oh, God! Spoon! Spoon!
Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
190
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,440
It was meant to be a surprise,
191
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,960
cos I've still got
a spare set of keys.
192
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,000
Well, keys on the floor.
193
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,840
Oh.
194
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,680
I'm sorry. Don't touch me. Hey,
hands off the goods, mate!
195
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,840
Oh, fuck off, Peter. You heard
the women!
196
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,560
Look, come on, all right,
let's just...
197
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,520
Let's start again, huh?
198
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,600
You must be Pete. I'm Elliot.
199
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,560
It's Peter, actually.
200
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,600
This is Sami, our friend.
Yeah, yeah.
201
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,680
I've heard all about this one.
202
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,000
Now, where is he?
203
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,720
Oh!
204
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,280
Your hulked out!
205
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,400
Man of the house. Yeah!
206
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,280
Man.
207
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,920
So, I've come bearing gifts.
208
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,560
No, no, we are not drinking
tonight. Yeah?
209
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,000
Well, some of us aren't.
210
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,560
Anyway, me neither. I've given up.
211
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,400
Ha! Given up!
212
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,360
I'm in recovery, Katy.
213
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,280
What's that, AA, or...? No, it's a
Christian faith group.
214
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,880
I've been a member
since last year. Have you?
215
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,960
I mean, God, I was a
real...see you next Tuesday.
216
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,160
Cunt.
217
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,600
Now I'm more of
a...see you this Sunday.
218
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,680
What are you doing? Getting
the corkscrew.
219
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:56,000
No. Look, he's fine. I want a drink.
220
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,640
Do you want a hand there, Pete?
221
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,280
Yes, it's Peter, and I'm fine.
It just gets a bit stuck sometimes.
222
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:01,720
She's a little bit temperamental.
223
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,320
She just needs a little
bit of a bash.
224
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,560
That your solution to everything,
isn't it?
225
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,600
So, Damascus, right?
226
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,280
Yes. Bloody hell.
227
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:23,240
Good effort. Good effort.
228
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,400
Were you in The Jungle? The...?
229
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,600
No, it was taken down by
the time I got to Calais.
230
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:30,360
Do you know, we came very close to
getting Lionel Richie
231
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,080
to do a show and in The Jungle.
232
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,120
Elliot's in events management.
233
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,960
Music. Lionel Richie.
234
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,120
God, he'd have been great.
235
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,360
Cos he's a festival guy.
236
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,480
You know, he would have been very
at home in a tented environment.
237
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,640
I don't know about you, but I was
really looking forward to seeing him
238
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:52,040
looking out over a sea of 10,000
refugees and singing Easy.
239
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,640
That would have been very special.
240
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,480
Uh-huh. I got something for you.
241
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,160
What is this? It's a book.
242
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,600
And it contains the most beautiful
poem in the English language.
243
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,280
If- by Rudyard Kipling.
244
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:10,760
Do you like Kipling?
245
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,720
I don't know, I've never kipled.
246
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:20,080
If you can make a heap
of all your winnings
247
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:24,640
And risk them on one turn
of pitch-and-toss
248
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:30,240
And lose, and start again
from your beginnings...
249
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,400
Cos that's you, isn't it?
250
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,640
And that's me.
251
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,240
We're in the same boat.
252
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,640
Different boats.
253
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,000
Anyway, let it be a meditation.
254
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,800
It's got me through more than
one triathlon.
255
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,960
Thank you, Elliot.
256
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,760
What kind of music do you like?
257
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,640
I...don't know.
258
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,040
K-pop? BTS?
259
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,120
Not really. No, me neither.
260
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:07,120
The latest ASAP Rocky
and Post Malone,
261
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:08,880
but strictly confidential.
262
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,400
Nice!
263
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,400
Do you want to go to
a concert sometime?
264
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:15,160
Do you think you're ready
for the Brixton Academy?
265
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,960
Whoa, whoa, whoa. OK, maybe we
should slow things down.
266
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,800
What you mean, slow down?
John, Sami is just...
267
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,240
What do you mean, Sami?
268
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:26,760
Elliot has not been
here for a long time, John.
269
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,280
Maybe not get his hopes up.
270
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,560
You can talk.
271
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,520
You left your family too.
272
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,280
Yes.
273
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,240
Yes, I have.
274
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,880
Same boat after all.
275
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,640
Maybe it's best if I...
276
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,320
Of course. Yes. We won't be long.
277
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:48,840
Nice to meet you, Elliot.
278
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,360
Assalaamu Alaikum.
279
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,360
Right back at you.
280
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,880
John, can you give us five minutes,
baby? A word.
281
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,440
Mm.
282
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:18,120
Look, I know. I know! I'm sorry.
I just got carried away...
283
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,800
..because it's so good to see
him again.
284
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,600
And see you again.
285
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,640
Meet you and Pete.
Peter. It's Peter.
286
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,120
Everything that you do and say
287
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,800
from now on will be carved
on my son's heart.
288
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,520
You do realise that, Elliot?
He'll forget nothing.
289
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,880
I'm not that guy any more, Kate.
290
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,600
I know I used to drink
wine like it was water,
291
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,960
but now my new landlord turns
water into wine.
292
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:51,920
I just want a chance to start to
play a bigger part in a John's life.
293
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,760
Why would I give a shit about what
you want?
294
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,440
Because I'm his father.
295
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,240
No, you're not.
296
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,160
There's a difference
between acting like a father
297
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,080
and acting like Father Christmas.
298
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,400
And I'm smelling reindeer shit
right up your driveway, mate.
299
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,480
Ho-ho-ho!
300
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,520
Is because I cut off
the mortgage repayments?
301
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,240
Absolutely not. Because if you're
struggling financially...
302
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,440
Oh, were not struggling.
303
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,120
Everything is going great, right?
Schools good? Right.
304
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,880
And you're in, what, construction?
305
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,600
Can't build them quick enough,
mate. Busy as a bee.
306
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,800
What are you talking about?
307
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,560
Don't shut me out.
308
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,400
Don't shut me out.
309
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,640
Thank you very much
for your hospitality.
310
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:32,920
I'll be in touch.
311
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,880
Absolutely no rush whatsoever.
312
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,360
Can I see the tattoo?
313
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,840
You want to see the ink?
I want to see the ink.
314
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:49,400
Oh, the Phoenix! Yeah, I got that
done back in the wild days.
315
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:55,360
It's a beautiful design,
though. Completely to scale.
316
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,400
Anatomically accurate.
317
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,400
Sorry, anatomically accurate?
318
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,120
Yeah. Phoenixes don't exist.
I know.
319
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,680
So, it's completely realistic
if it was real? Exactly.
320
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,600
Oh, I see. Thank you so much
for that.
321
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,160
I was thinking of having a complete
sleeve done.
322
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:13,320
Oh! Yeah. I'm going to undergo
the traditional Polynesian method.
323
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,320
The Maoris call it ta moko.
324
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,920
And they carve the ink into the skin
325
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:23,480
using chisels made out of
albatross bark.
326
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,360
Oh, my God! Yeah. I can take up to
24 hours.
327
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:32,240
It's unbelievably painful, but it's
considered a rite of passage.
328
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,000
Trial by fire.
329
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,440
Are you going to New Zealand?
330
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,040
Natalie Imbruglia says
she knows a guy in Egham.
331
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,280
Nice.
332
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,280
I've got a tattoo.
333
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,480
Yeah? Yeah. No, you don't.
334
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,360
Erm... Peter, no.
335
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,240
I didn't know you had that.
336
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,960
Are those...
337
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,440
..coordinates?
338
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,520
Mm-hm. Of whom?
339
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,080
First construction job I ever
worked on.
340
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,600
It's a retail Park in Stevenage.
341
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,000
Isn't it supposed to
be of your baby?
342
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,560
Can be. Babies or retail parks.
343
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,960
Maybe get that lasered off.
344
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:24,360
Or have unprotected sex
with my ex-wife in Stevenage.
345
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,680
Got to go.
346
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,080
Come here.
347
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,280
I'm going to see you really soon.
Love you, dad.
348
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,560
I love you too.
349
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:51,000
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