All language subtitles for Columbo S04E02 Negative Reaction 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DD+2 0 H 264-playWEB (1)_track3_[eng]

If you're trying
to frighten me,
then you've succeeded.

Does that make you happy?

You know,
15 years on the force...

I still can't look
at something like that.

You're a gem.

You're a little flawed
and you're not too bright,
but you're one of a kind.

That's the guy.

I just won't be a hypocrite.

I know what she did to you.

I've had this coat
for seven years.

Oh, you poor man!

You're gonna be
a lot sorrier,
Lieutenant...

if you don't stop
following me around.

[car horn honking]

[car tires screeching]

[scissors snipping]

[blowing]

[Frances]
Paul?

Please, Frances.
Can't you see the light?

I'm developing film.

You've been in there
for over an hour.

[stammering]
Be a minute or two.
I'll be right out.

Hurry up. I'm tired
of waiting around.

Do you know what time it is?
It's past noon.

I'm sorry.

The auction at Lilleby's
starts at 2:00.

I'll barely have time
to eat.

While I think of it...

I want you to speak
to Mrs. Moyland tomorrow...

when she comes in to work.

Her work
is just not acceptable.

The kitchen's a disgrace.

Yes, I'll speak to her.

If you want to
get downtown by 2:00...

we'd better leave now.

The ranch is only
20 minutes away.

Ah, yes, the ranch.

Your new little hideaway.

Frances, you said
you'd look at it
with an open mind.

I am going to loathe it.
You know that perfectly well.

Really, you're incredible.

Buying a ranch
without even consulting me.

It's something I want.

You want.

Always what Paul wants.

Never mind that I'm going
to be stuck out there...

with the pigs
and the chickens.

[pounds table]
Stop it!

That was unnecessary.

I'm not so sure that
I should even go and see
this silly ranch of yours now.

Please. You did promise.

All right.

But let's get it over with.

Just a quick look...

and then
you have to take me
straight to Lilleby's.

They're auctioning off...

the most divine
Revere tea set.

You really think
that you're going to go...

running off
to the Philippines...

with that charming
little Lorna...

and leave me to rot
in this shanty?

Please leave Lorna
out of this.

She's an employee,
that's all.

There's nothing between us.

Just as I thought.
Unbelievable.

We could certainly
start a fire going
at that fireplace.

We can use some of this
charming furniture
to get it going.

[scoffs]

The kitchen.

Early American built in
some grease for wallpaper.

Just lovely.

When was the last time
this was cleaned? If ever.

I just thank heavens...

that I got to see it
before you paid
any money for it.

I am assuming,
of course, that this
is the main house...

and not the barn.

And what is this now, 2:00?

You can't even tell time.
Why it's only 12:45.

What are you....

Paul, what are you doing?

Paul?

That hurts.

Now, if this is
some sort of a joke,
must I remind you...

that you have
no sense of humor...

and you'll never have.
None at all.

And this is the final proof
of it.

Untie me, do you hear me?
Untie me!

Oh, this is too stupid!

Not very funny.

Paul, what do you think
you're doing?

If you're trying
to frighten me,
then you've succeeded.

Does that make you happy?

Really, Frances.

[paper rustling]

It's nice to know
after 15 years...

I'm finally succeeding
at something in your eyes.

Silly man.

God, you pathetic man.

Another one?
Stupid little game.

For three years,
Frances, I was...

chained to you.

Like a...

monkey chained
to an organ grinder.

Whatever tune you played,
I had to dance, Frances.

Paul, let me
ask you something.

What is it
you're trying to do?

Are you trying
to frighten me...

with some
newfound masculinity?

I have this...

dream, Frances. I'm working...

and there's a phone call
and he says, "Terribly sorry,
Mr. Galesko, but...

"your wife's dead.
Unfortunate accident."

And then I always wake up
and I want to cry.

Because you're still alive,
Frances.

And I have nothing
to face that day...

but another 24 hours...

with a domineering,
nagging...

suffocating woman who took
all the joy out of my life.

[scoffs]

Paul, don't be a fool.

They'll know you did it.

I don't think so.

Not if everything works.

You'll never get away with it.

And if not...

it's a chance
I'm going to take.

Untie me.

Untie me!

[gun firing]

[phone ringing]

Hello, Paul Galesko Studios.

Lorna, it's me.

[Lorna]
Paul. Where are you?

We have a 2:30 sitting
this afternoon
with Charles Plummer.

Oh, I thought
we'd canceled it.

Well, look,
I'm at a gas station
up near Palmdale.

I want to shoot
a few desert things.

Can you call Charlie
and put him off
till tomorrow?

All right.
I'll try to catch him.

Lorna, about that offer
I had from Ray...

a trip to the Philippines?

[Lorna]
Yes?

I think we'll do it.

Just the two of us.

Oh, Paul, that's wonderful!

Thank you.

But what about Mrs. Galesko?

We talked it over.
She thinks it's a fine idea.

I'll fill you in later.

You just go out and
get yourself a passport, okay?

Will this afternoon
be quick enough?

Sounds good. See you.

Here you are,
Mr. Galesko.

That'll be $12.96
with the oil.

Thank you.

After 2:00?
Is that clock right?

Mine says
three minutes after 2:00.

Nope. Ten after.
Clock's always right.

Thank you.

Thank you. Here you are.

[birds chirping]

Hi, Al.

Hi, Mr. Galesko.

Sorry I'm late, Al.

I was delayed
at a service station
down the road.

I understand.

I see you rented a car.

Just like you told me to.

[grunting]

Lovely out here,
isn't it?

Oh, yeah.

Green, wet.
Just like it should be.

You don't have to tell me
about that, I mean...

after five years
of not seeing
trees and grass.

You know,
it's been three weeks...

and I still can't
get used to going out.

I mean, wherever I want to
and whenever I want to.

Mr. Galesko, I know
you don't want me
to thank you, but...

you know,
a guy getting out of prison,
he ain't got much chance...

and I just want to tell you
I'm grateful, that's all.

Al, I liked the ranch
very much.

Just what I wanted you
to get for me.

That's good.

You didn't mention my name?

Oh, no sir.

As far as the real estate
people know...

it's all in my name.

And I looked the place over
real good...

and it's sound,
a real sound place.

Al, here's another advance
for you.

I hate
having our relationship
be so quiet...

but you understand,
you know...

if the real estate people...

knew that I was the buyer,
why, the price would double.

No, that's all....
I understand.

Al, tomorrow morning...

I'd like to go
take another look
at that abandoned junkyard.

They're asking
an awful lot for that.

Yeah, but...

good location.

Why don't you meet me there
tomorrow morning?

I don't know what time.

I'll tell you why don't you
call me tomorrow morning...

from your motel
around 10:00?

We'll set a time.

Yes, sir. I'll call you
at exactly 10:00.

Good.

Al, I guess
I don't need you
any more today.

Okay. See you.

All right.

Mr. Galesko.

I think maybe I ought
to tell you, somebody
broke into my motel room

and took the camera
you told me to buy.

Oh?

Yeah. I can't find it
and I thought...

maybe you might need it
to take more pictures.

No, I don't think
we'll need it again, Al.

As a matter of fact,
I'm positive.

Okay.

Bye.

[car door closing]

Oh, Mrs. Moyland. Good morning, sir.

Yes, morning.

I went by the store
and picked up
some green tea and honey.

Mrs. Galesko
was complaining some...

about her stomach
on Wednesday.

Is she better, sir?

What? Oh, yes. I suppose so.

Still asleep, is she?
Let me go fix her something.

No!

I mean...

Mrs. Galesko isn't here.

She's visiting relatives.

Oh?

That's strange, her going off.

With the symphony
opening tonight...

and her buying that new dress
and all.

Mrs. Moyland, please.

My wife's whereabouts
are none of your concern.
Now, is that clear?

Yes, sir.

If anyone calls
or anyone enquires about her,
you're to say...

she's away and that's all.
Just away.

You don't know
how to get in touch
with her.

As you say, sir.

[phone ringing]

No!

I'll get it.

Hello? [Al]
Mr. Galesko?

Yes.

This is Alvin Deschler.

Yes, I've been
expecting your call.

Yeah, you remember
you told me...

to call you today
about meeting you sometime
at the junkyard?

I can arrange that.

Is there something wrong?

No, no.

What time do you want me
to be there?

Well, that's up to you, sir.
Anytime.

5:00?

That's fine. I'll be
right on time. Yes, sir.

Hello?

Can I speak to her?

Please.

Yes.

Yes, I understand.

No, I'll do
exactly as you say.

But I....

Hello?

[rattling phone cradle]

Hello?

Mrs. Moyland,
I have to go out.

Sir, I couldn't help
but hear--

Please, Mrs. Moyland,
you heard nothing.

Just do as I say.
Don't ask any questions.

All right, sir.

[Ray]
Paul, this is insanity.
You must call the police.

You saw the note.
That picture.

Ray, if it's the money,
I told you, it's just a loan.

Oh, no. I don't care
about the money, my friend.

Ray, don't make me sorry
I took you into my confidence.

At least let me go with you.

No. This is something
I have to do myself, Ray.

I'm concerned for your safety.

Thanks.

I thought you got in
an accident or something.

Al, I'm afraid
I couldn't help that.

Take a look at this.

Somebody's got your wife?

Looks that way, Al. Wow.

Do you....

You have any idea
who took her?

I'm sorry, Al.

It's going to have
to look like you did.

[gun firing]

[slurring]
Hey!

Hey! What's the matter?

I heard a couple of shots
or something.

What are you doing here?

I was resting in my car,

and all of a sudden,
I heard some....

[groaning]

That's blood!
You're bleeding, mister.

A phone.
I have to get to a phone.

I don't have a phone.

Maybe you can
use the phone...

down at the gas station.

He's a nice guy.

[mumbling]

[birds chirping]

[dispatcher chattering
on radio]

Unit 211, 10-4.

The lab boys are
on the way, Sarge.

Okay.

Any word on the other guy?

He'll be okay.

Got it in the leg,
that's all.

[engine revving]

Go back,
go back!

Out of business.

I'm sorry, sir.

This place has been
out of business
for months.

Oh, no.
I'm Lieutenant Columbo.

I'm here to see...

a Sergeant Hoffman.

Oh, I see.

Around the corner
and in the back.

All right. Thank you.

[engine cuts out]

[engine stalling]

I'll just leave it here.
I think it'll be all right.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Okay.

This is Hoffman,
out on Devlin Road.

On that 411.

I'm going to need
a second ambulance here.

[man on radio]
10-4. Second unit
has been dispatched.

You got anybody
checking out
that motel room?

Affirmative.
A unit is on the way.

10-4.

Sergeant Hoffman?

You Columbo? Right.

You know
what happened here?

They didn't tell me much.

Just that
couple of guys got shot.
That's all I know.

[cop #1]
You got everything
all cleared up here?

Okay.

[cop #2]
Yes, sir.
Just waiting for....

This guy's name
is Alvin Deschler.

Paul Galesko,
the other one...

he's on his way
to the hospital.

Got it in the leg.
He's going to be okay.

What happened?

Careful how you handle this.
Lab guys are on the way.

Looks like Deschler
grabbed Galesko's wife.

Wanted $20,000.

I got the money
in the squad car.
Small bills.

You know the routine.

Anyway,
when Galesko shows up...

Deschler grabs a gun
and tries to kill him.

This is the wife? Yeah.

Too bad for Deschler...

Galesko was carrying
a gun of his own.

Where is she? We don't know.

We don't know?

You mean,
the husband shot
the kidnapper...

before he found out
where his wife was?

I don't think
he had much choice.

What else you got?

Deschler was driving
a rented car.

We found the contract
in the glove compartment.

And his personal effects... [cop #1]
Hey, hold it!

$200...

[men chattering] his driver's license.

You want to know
what happened?
Cut it out. Hey, listen.

I heard everything.
You want to know
what happened?

I'll tell you
what happened.

I was in the van
taking a rest--

Come on, Pop.
I'll buy you
a cup of coffee.

You don't understand!
I heard everything.

All right, Officer.
It's all right.

The old man was
boozing it up...

in one of the cars
over by the shack.

He says
he heard the shots.

I asked him
what happened...

but he wants
to give his statement
downtown.

All right, Officer,
you take this gentleman
downtown...

and see to it that
he's fed and he gets
a good place to rest.

Yes sir.

You're okay, pal.

I'll say
a good word for you
down at the station.

[cop #2]
Unit from SID is here,
Sergeant.

I'll be right over.
Excuse me.

Listen, maybe I ought to see
the other guy, Galesko.

What hospital is he at?

This may
hurt a little.

It already hurts,
Doctor.

I just want
to get out of here.

Mr. Galesko?

Yes. Yes, I'm Paul Galesko.

Lieutenant Columbo,
police.

I just want to tell you, sir,
we're doing everything we can
to locate your wife.

We're checking
that man's motel room
right now.

Lieutenant, she's not
being held in a motel room.

You saw the picture.
That place....

That awful place.

All right,
just take it easy, sir.

I have a feeling, Lieutenant.

No, it's more than a feeling.

She's dead. I know it.

I wouldn't say that, sir.

Surely, if he tried
to kill me...

he wouldn't have
any hesitation...

about killing
a defenseless woman.

Look at it this way.

If you had demanded
additional proof
that she was alive...

he would have
to keep her alive
on that possibility alone.

Yes.

Yes, I see what you mean.

Oh.

That's a nasty looking wound.

You know,
15 years on the force...

I still can't look
at something like that.

Mr. Galesko was lucky,
Lieutenant.

It caught the fleshy part
of the leg.

[doctor]
No bones
or arteries were hit.

I'd appreciate it, sir,
if you told us what happened.

When you first noticed
that your wife was missing...

how the man contacted you,
everything you know.

It was Thursday morning.
I drove her downtown,
dropped her off.

It must have been
shortly after noon.

She wanted to go
to an auction and...

she was going
to take a cab home.

Then you didn't go
to the auction with her?

No.
I had some pictures to take...

in a...

mountain area
up north of the Valley.

I'm a photographer,
Lieutenant...

on an assignment
with a magazine.

Yes, sir, go on.

I got home around 8:30,
I suppose.

Frances wasn't there.

I got a little nervous
and I called...

I called few friends.
They hadn't heard from her.

And around midnight, I guess,
I finally called the police...

but they said...

there really wasn't
anything they could do...

until she was missing
for 24 hours.

Yes, sir. I believe
that is the procedure.

And then...

the next morning
I found that note...

slipped under the door.

The note and...

the picture of Frances.

All right. Take it easy, sir.
Just a couple more questions.

Did you recognize the room
in the photograph?

No.

Now, you just waited to hear
from the man, is that right?

Yes, he....

He called around 10:00
in the morning.

He said to get $20,000
in small bills together...

and he set a meeting place.

Were you prepared
to hand over the money?

Of course, yes.
I got the money
from my publisher.

But you had a gun?

Yes, Lieutenant.

But for my own safety.

Right.

And he pulled his gun first,
is that right?

Yes.

Yes he did. He fired wildly,
hit me in the leg...

and then I grabbed
my gun and....

It's too bad
that my aim wasn't...

a little more off,
he'd be alive to tell us...

where Frances is.

Pardon me.
Lieutenant Columbo...

Sergeant Hoffman
is on the phone.

They just got in
that guy's motel room.

Well...

we've got Deschler
nailed for the kidnapping,
Lieutenant. Take a look.

Where'd you find
this stuff?

Newspaper was lying
on this chair.

Glue and scissors
in the drawers...

camera in the second drawer
of the dresser.

And certainly not stolen
by any of my people.

Sir?

Charles Victor.

I'm the manager of this motel.

For two days, Mr. Deschler's
been insisting...

someone got into his room
and stole his precious camera.

Obviously, he's had it here
all along.

Is this the camera
that took the picture?

See for yourself.

Yeah.

It is a funny-looking camera.
I've never seen one like it
before.

It's an old model.
I used to have one myself.

Now, we're sending
the glue and the newspaper
down to the lab.

Well, I'll lay you odds,
it matches up
with the ransom note.

You say he reported
this camera missing.
When was that?

Tuesday, Wednesday....

I'm not sure.

Let me ask you something,
Mr. Victor.

Do you know
where Mr. Deschler was
on Thursday and Friday?

Out, I'm sure.

At least Thursday.

Friday, I'm not sure.

Do you know if he made
a phone call on, say,
Friday morning?

We can check the log.

Don't go away. I'll be back.

Yes, here it is.
Friday morning.

He did make one call
at 10:00.

A toll call to...

555-6904.

Can I look at this?

555-6904.

That's Paul Galesko's number.

Morning, Lieutenant.

You know, you could use
some sleep and a shave.

I got a couple of hours
on the sofa.

Why don't you go home
and sack out?

You got this case
locked up.

You think so, huh?

Take a look
at Deschler's sheet.

It's there on the counter.

Get me a cup of coffee,
will you, please?

Released from San Quentin...

three weeks ago
after serving five years
on an extortion conviction.

Well...

now you've really got him,
Lieutenant.

Tell me something, Sergeant.

Do you see anything
in there...

that says that
Deschler was stupid?

Because if he left that
camera and that newspaper...

and that glue laying around
like that, he's stupid.

Everybody makes mistakes.

That's why the jails
are all full up.

Anything on the Galesko woman?

Checking out a lead
in the Valley.

Some real estate guy
named MacGruder.

All right.

I'm going to check out
this guy Dolan.

The wino?

We let him go
an hour ago.

Good thing, too.
There's nothing worse
than a sober drunk.

You let him go?Mmm-hmm.

Do me a favor, would you?

Would you talk
to the Medical Examiner...

find out if there were
any traces of nitrate
on Deschler's hand.

Now, what do you think,
Lieutenant?

Now, you really think
that Deschler didn't shoot
Galesko in the leg?

I'll tell you
something, Sergeant.

I don't know
what to think.

[phone ringing]

Sergeant Hoffman.

Yeah?
Hold it, Lieutenant!

Yeah? Where?

I see.
I'll be right over.

They just found
the Galesko woman.

Roger. Over and out.

[clears throat]

[car approaching]

[tires screeching]

Frances! Take it easy.

Take it easy.
Now, get control of yourself.

You'll need
an identification
for the records.

Yes, sir.

I'd like to be with her
in the ambulance.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

[car door closing]

[car pulling away]

[door closing]

And there is no question
in your mind that
this is Mr. Deschler...

the man you sold
the ranch to?

Yeah, that's the man.
Alvin Deschler.

Lieutenant.

This is Mr. MacGruder.

He sold Deschler the ranch
a few days ago.

How do you do, sir?

He showed up in a cab
every morning for a week.

Him and that camera.

I must have shown him
three dozen places...

before he finally settled
on this.

I should have known.

The first time I saw him,
I should have known.

Should have known what, sir?

Well, he really didn't wanna
live in a place like this.

I mean, he was a city man,
you know.

I could tell.

So, what's a city man want
with an old place like this?

Hey, Lieutenant? Yes?

I'm picking up
fresh prints
all over this place.

There's one more thing
I wanna ask. And no two ways about it.

It's Deschler.

Uh-huh.

All right, keep going.

[cop #1]
Get that table
on the corner, yet?

[cop #2]
I'm going there next.

[cop #1]
Try in the kitchen,
but don't touch anything.

[cop #2]
Some place, huh?

[cop #1]
I guess, this is what
they call a fixer-upper.

[police chattering]

[cop #1]
How long you figure
she's been dead?

[cop #2]
What do I look like,
a doctor?

[cop #1]
Where's my tape? What?

My tape.

[cop #2]
On your elbow.
You're looking right at it.

Oh, yeah.

[Columbo sighing]

[camera clicking]

Mr. MacGruder.

One other thing.

Can you tell me how long
that clock's been there?

I have no idea.

Never really noticed it
before.

The reason I ask
because it doesn't seem
to fit with the room.

There's no dust on it.
Looks it was just put there.

Well, I really
wouldn't know.

I sell property, Lieutenant.
Not old furniture.

One other thing, sir.

Do you think
it's possible that maybe...

this Deschler fellow
was buying this
for somebody else?

You know,
as a matter of fact,
that's what I thought.

He kept saying that
he wanted it for himself...

but couldn't pin him down
to a firm purchase.

That's sometimes the way
when a third party's involved.

What made you
think of that?

No, it just seemed to me
that if he was taking...

a lot of pictures,
if he had a camera...

maybe he was taking them
to show to somebody else.

[clears throat]

Thank you, sir.

[yawning]

Hey, pop. Hey.

St. Matthew's Mission?

Yeah, right there.

Where? Right there.

This here? Yeah.

You know
a guy named Dolan?

Dolan? Yeah.

Is he in there?

Look inside, in the kitchen.
You'll see him in there.

That's all right.

[vehicle honking]

[people chattering]

Welcome, brother.Howdy, ma'am.

Peace be with you.

Thank you, ma'am.

My house is your house.

Thank you very much.

You're hungry and tired,
I can see that.

Well, the fact is,
I didn't sleep last night
and I'm plenty tired.

I'm sorry.
Would you wait here?

George, would you bring
a tray, please?

Won't you join us, Brother?

Join you for what?

Come.

I haven't seen you before,
have I?

No, ma'am.

That coat.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

That coat, that coat,
that coat.

I'm sure that we can find
something nicer for you
in the other room.

Something maybe
a bit warmer.

What size are you,
do you know?

I think there's
a misunderstanding.

Oh, no, brother.

No false pride
between friends.

A man's worth is not judged
by the size of his purse.

That's very true.

Let me explain--

Explanations
are not necessary
between friends.

Please, your food.
Come.

Come eat.
Please, join us.

Eat.

An empty stomach
is the Devil's playground.

Well--This is plain food,
but it's filling.

It certainly
looks wonderful.
Thank you.

Sit down.

Sit down.
You sit down and eat.

And when you're finished,
we'll have a little talk,
all right?

Margaret! Later, later.

Margaret,
didn't they bring in
a tweed coat yesterday?

A short 36, I think,
wasn't it?

Come, let's look for it.
I'll be back.

[people chattering]

[sighing]

Mr. Dolan?

Yes?

May I? I insist.

How are you today?

I want you
to understand something.

If you think
you found a scintillating
breakfast companion, sir...

I say you've found me
at my worst.

Well, I'm not
at my best, either.

I got to say,
this stuff is not bad.
What is this? Beef stew?

That is
the prevailing theory.

[scoffs]

You don't remember me,
do you?

I'm Lieutenant Columbo.

We met last night.

Yeah, I'm investigating
the murder that took place
up there on Devlin Road.

Perhaps I should
get in touch
with my barrister.

[laughing]

No, that won't be necessary,
sir. You're not a suspect.

All I want to do is,
I just want to double-check...

the statement
that you made last night.

Here we are.

This is what you said.
I'd like to read it to you.

We are in luck.

That's all right.
You stay.

I found exactly
the right thing.

It's warm, and look,
it's hardly been used
at all.

You stand up
and we'll try it on.

I appreciate
what you're doing.
I really do, but...

I've had this coat
for seven years.

Oh, you poor man!

Don't be ashamed.

No, I'm very fond of it.

And besides...

I'm from
the police force, ma'am.

My name is Lieutenant Columbo.

All are welcome here,
Lieutenant.

No, but you see,
I'm actually working
on a case now.

Oh, I see!

You mean,
you're working undercover.

How clever you are,
Lieutenant.

You know,
you fooled even me.

Oh, and please....

Please, forgive me
for interrupting
your investigation.

I'm sorry.
And don't worry...

I won't tell a soul
about your disguise.

Thank you.

It's good.

It's really very good.

Stay.

Good luck.

Lieutenant,
why don't you sit down
before your beef gets cold?

[clears throat]

Do you play cribbage?

Listen, I'd love to join you
but unfortunately I'm tied up
on this investigation.

Do you have a moment?

Because I'd like
to read this to you.

Is that all right? Yeah.

This is your statement.

You said:

"'At first, I thought
it was some child
playing with a firecracker.

"'I nearly went
to take a look...

"'but the spirit being more
willing than the flesh...

"'I decided to remain
where I was.

"'After a touch of the grape
to induce slumber...

"'I'd just about settled back
when I heard the noise again
so I got up to investigate.

"I got out of the car and
I started toward the shack.

"'That's when this man came
limping toward me.

"'His leg was bleeding.

"'He was trying
to find a phone.'"

That's your statement.

I'll tell you
what bothers me about this.

According to this...

there seems to be
a considerable gap
between the shots.

A time lapse
between the first shot
and the second shot.

Couple of seconds
or it could be more.

I wonder, now,
could you be more specific?

[sighing]

Lieutenant, I honestly
must say this to you.

I don't remember
saying any of that.

I'm not saying
you're fabricating all this.

But I frankly do not remember
anything of last night.

Lieutenant?

Lieutenant,
I'm afraid I've been
awfully abrupt with you...

the past few hours.

Not at all, sir.
You've been under
a terrific strain.

Yes, I imagine...

the full weight
of the disaster
hasn't really hit me yet.

No, sir.

Listen, I gotta tell you,
your pictures are wonderful.

Thank you,
Lieutenant.

Your reputation is
very deserved, sir.

Two Pulitzer Prizes.
I didn't know that.
I just read that here.

Mmm-hmm. Congratulations.

Thank you.How many books
have you published?

Nine, all together.

All your photographs?

That's right.Wonderful.

I got to take
my hat off to you.

Because when it comes
to photography...

I just don't know
which end of the camera
to put the film in.

It isn't too hard
once you understand it.

For example,
last month...

I was gonna
take some pictures
at my cousin's wedding.

They wanted
to save a few bucks.

Just a couple of kids,
so I said sure.

The pictures turned
out very badly.

What it was was,
those gadgets in the front end
of the camera...

you see,
I couldn't figure 'em out.
And I got--

Maybe if you just used
a less complex camera...

the simple reflex box
with a flash.

You know,
that's what I was thinking.

Now, next month
my brother-in-law...

he's gonna have
an anniversary party.

So I thought--

Lieutenant, I'm sorry.
But I'm awfully tired.

I'm sorry, sir.

Just a couple of things.

Just ask.

About the two shots.

Yes, Lieutenant?

We have a witness.

What witness?

Mr. Thomas Dolan.

I believe you ran into him.
You were looking for a phone.

Oh! You mean, the wino?

That's the gentleman,
sir, yes.

Mr. Dolan....

May I?Please.

Mr. Dolan says that
there was a lapse
between the two shots.

Some kind of a time gap.

And yet,
I got the impression from
talking to you last night...

that your shot
and Mr. Deschler's shot came
almost at the same time.

Well, Lieutenant,
that man was blind drunk.

He didn't know
what he heard.

There's another thing, sir.
I noticed it last night.

Your trousers.

What about my trousers?

There were powder burns
near the bullet hole.

But there were
no powder burns
on Mr. Deschler.

And you see, what I find
troublesome here is that...

if the two shots were
almost simultaneous...

how was it possible that...

when he shot at you,
it was at a very close
distance, a foot...

even less...

and yet when you shot at him
he was several feet away?

Lieutenant, I wish you had
asked me this last night.

I could have put your mind
at ease immediately.

You see, this man, Deschler...

pulled a gun on me.

We couldn't have been
more than a foot or two apart.

I grabbed his arm
and we struggled.

And as the gun went off
I managed to knock it away.

It went away
just a few feet.

I started to go for the gun
but my leg,
it's collapsed under me...

and Deschler went for the gun.

I knew he was gonna kill me.

That's when I pulled my gun
out of my pocket...

and as Deschler raised
his gun to fire, I shot him.

Does that answer
your question?

Yes, sir, it does.

Lieutenant, I know
I should have given you
all the details last night...

but at the time
I was so upset.

I'm sure
you understand that.

Of course, sir. I do.

I won't take up
any more of your time.

I'm just trying
to find my watch here.

Oh, yeah, I got to run along.

I gotta to get my dog
to the vet.

Oh, is he sick?

No, sir.
He is in love.

Or he was in love
with the cocker spaniel
next door.

But the family
moved away...

and now the dog,
he won't eat,
he won't sleep.

He just lays around
and I can't look at him.

Lieutenant,
I've never owned a pet...

so I wouldn't know
how to advise you.

That's too bad.

I don't suppose you have
a picture of a cocker spaniel
around, do you?

A picture?

You know, I mean,
maybe I could tack up
some kind of a picture.

You know,
something he could look at.

Kind of like a pinup.

No, really, Lieutenant.

No, that's a terrible idea.

I mean, a dog is dumb
but he won't fall for that.

The dog would know
it wasn't her.

Forget I mentioned it. Yeah, I will, Lieutenant.

[Harry]
Yes, sir,
can I help you?

Lieutenant Columbo.
I'm from the police.

Yes, Lieutenant.
What can I do for you?

Did you sell this camera?

Let me see.

Yeah, I had
this camera on the shelf
a couple of weeks ago.

Lieutenant, you know,
we don't give no guarantee
with something like this.

No, that's okay.
All I wanna know is one thing.

The name of the man
that you sold it to.

Name?

I don't deal in names.
Strictly cash.

Maybe a picture.

Take your time.
It's important.

That's the guy. You're sure?

That's him, all right.
Cheap bum.

What do you mean?

He comes in here
a while back.

So I tried to sell him
one of my new color models,
you know.

He says to me, "No, I just
need a camera to take...

"some pictures of houses.
Nothing fancy."

"A while back."
Can you be more exact?

Well, I'd say a week.

Houses? Right.

Go on.

So anyway, I charged him
$20 for the camera.

And he says to me,
"Look, make the receipt out
for $100."

Then he slips me
an extra $10.

Anyway, this guy was...
He was weird, you know.

I mean, he comes in here...

and he tries to save
a few bucks...

by buying this
old camera, right?

Meanwhile, he's got
a taxicab waiting for him
at the front door.

I mean, the cab's
gotta cost him $5--

What was that?

I said he's trying
to save a few-- No, about the cab.

Well, yeah, he had a taxicab
waiting for him.

I think this guy took a cab
someplace else.

Excuse me
just one moment.

Yes, he took a cab
to the real estate office.

So what?

Well, why does he keep
driving around in cabs?

Maybe he doesn't have a car.

But it's cheaper to rent a car
than drive around in cabs.

Well, you got me there.
You're right.

Wait a minute.
But he did rent a car.

So the question is,
why didn't he rent the car
sooner?

You know,
that's gonna bother me.

You know,
sometimes you can't think
of the name of a movie.

This is gonna bother me.

Why didn't he rent the car
sooner?

I think I'm crazy.

[chuckles]

"Why didn't he rent car
sooner?"

[clears throat]

Listen, can I ask you
a question?

Sure, go ahead.

Maybe I'm nuts, but....

This is the same photograph,
isn't it?

Yeah.

I was looking
at this thing before...

and now in this picture,
her left arm is bent.

But in this picture,
her right arm is bent.

I mean, now she has got
two bent arms.

[chuckling]

Well, you see,
that's a reverse negative,
Lieutenant.

What's originally on the right
comes out of the left...

and what's on the left,
on the right.

You mean, I could
have a picture...

where I'm on the right
and my wife's on the left.

And we do this reversal...

and then I would be
on the left and my wife
would be on the right.

Absolutely.

I'll be a monkey's uncle.

You learn something every day.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome,
Lieutenant.

[birds chirping]

[minister]
"In the storm of life...

"the raging winds
sweep away the just
and the unjust alike.

"The guilty and the innocent.

"The young and the old.

"The hand of the creator
plucks the fruit
from his orchard.

"And who among us
can question his wisdom.

"Dust to dust, ashes to ashes.

"As surely
as the lamb is born,
so shall it also die.

"We come upon this Earth
in the certain knowledge that
one day we shall leave it...

"a better or poorer place
for our having been here.

"We commend to Thee
the soul of Thy servant...

"Frances Eleanor Galesko...

"in the hope that she will be
welcome to Thy bosom.

"Take her to your heart,
we beseech you...

"in the full knowledge that
the good she has done here
on Earth...

"serving as your disciple,
doing your good works...

"has made her a full
and happy person.

"Blessed are
the pure of heart...

"for theirs is the kingdom
of heaven."

Let us pray.

Bye. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

I'm sorry.

[birds chirping]

She's at peace now, Lorna.

Yes, both of you.

That was unnecessary.

Don't be angry.

I just won't be a hypocrite.

I know what she did to you.

Well, what's past is past.

[Columbo clearing throat]

Excuse me. Mr. Galesko,
I hate to trouble you.

Columbo,
what are you doing here?

If I'm interrupting
anything...

you just tell me.... No, of course not.

This is my assistant,
Miss McGrath.

Lt. Columbo.

Hello, Lieutenant. How do you do, ma'am?

Paul,
I really should be going.

Really? I thought
we could have dinner.

Well, I promised
to meet someone.

But it's not important.
I can break it....

No, it's all right.
I'll see you in the morning.

All we have tomorrow
is Mrs. Grant.

I can push her off
until Tuesday.

No, I want to be there.

The house'll be
a little dreary.

Yes, sir.

Nice meeting you,
Lieutenant.

My pleasure, ma'am.

[Columbo]
Lovely girl.

Yes, very competent
young lady.

Very professional.

Lieutenant, may I ask
what's the meaning of that?

You noticed?

I'm sorry, sir,
I tried to be inconspicuous.

Well, you failed
miserably.

I wanted
to get some pictures.

There were quite
a few people here.

Yes, my wife was
very active, socially.

Well, I had this thought.
I thought maybe if I could
get some pictures...

I might be able to
identify the accomplice.

Accomplice?

Yes, sir,
it's like a fellow returns
to the scene of the crime.

Oh, it happens,
and just in case...

I wanted to have it
on film.

Lieutenant, what accomplice?
There is no accomplice.

Deschler murdered my wife.
The evidence is overwhelming.

Well, there's no question
Deschler was in on it.

And most of the fellows
down in the department...

you know, they'd like
to close off the case.

But I'm sure
someone else was involved.

You're wasting your time.

Well, there are
a couple of things
that bother me.

You remember
the ransom note?

Yes.

You remember it said:

"We have your wife
and we will contact you."

Lieutenant, that's just
a figure of speech.

Well, it could be.

But it doesn't explain
the money.

Mr. Deschler is only
recently out of prison.

Has no known employment.

Yet we found $200
in this man's wallet.

And he never had
any trouble paying
his motel bill.

Doesn't prove anything.

Well, the Parole Officer
seems to think it does.

I spoke to him yesterday.

He says he was trying
to get Deschler a job.

Deschler kept avoiding it.

And when pressed,
Deschler said
something about...

he was working
on something else.

He was never
very specific about it.

And the real estate agent,
Mr. MacGruder...

he's absolutely certain...

that Deschler
bought that property
in his own name...

but for someone else.

So you can see, sir,
how all these things add up.

No, not to me, Lieutenant.

Deschler was
a convicted extortionist...

a very clever man.

Now I only know what I read
in the newspapers about him...

but he did always work alone,
didn't he?

Yes, sir, that's true.

But then there's always
a first time for everything.

Well, look,
I won't hold you up anymore.

I want to apologize again
if I caused any disturbance.

All right, Lieutenant.

One more thing, sir,
I almost forgot.

One more thing that
I wanted to check on.

Probably not important.

Could you excuse us?

That phone call that
Deschler made the morning
after your wife was taken...

we checked on that.

And the call was
definitely made by Deschler
from his motel room.

Yes, Lieutenant.

But I was talking
to your housekeeper,
Mrs. Moyland...

and she tells me...

that your meeting
with that man was set
for 5:00 in the afternoon.

Is that correct? That is correct.

How much time
elapsed between
the exchange of shots...

and your getting
to the phone booth
to call the police?

Well, I did all that
very quickly.

Ten minutes. Ten minutes.

Well, now, your phone call
was received...

at the Police Headquarters
at 5:45...

that's recorded.

So that places
your meeting
with Mr. Deschler...

at around 5:30.

That's very hard for me
to understand.

What is very hard
for you to understand?

Well, it's hard for me
to understand, sir,
because if it was my wife...

and the man
who had taken her said
to be there at 5:00...

I'd be damn certain
that I got there on time.

I certainly wouldn't want
to keep him waiting.

Lieutenant, I never said
that I went directly
to the auto junkyard.

Now the fact is,
I received a phone call...

I was ordered
to go to a phone booth,
wait for a call.

Now I don't know,
maybe Deschler was checking
to see if it was a trap.

The call came
to the booth...

I was directed
to the junkyard.

And it's that simple.

Well, that would explain it.

Where is that
phone booth, sir?

It's somewhere in West LA.

I'm not sure
of the exact location.

It's near a gas station.

I can find it again
if I have to.

That's funny.

I mean,
those kind of things
are hard to remember.

I mean,
going into a strange area
of town...

to find
a strange phone booth.

And I don't think
that you....

Oh, wait a minute.
I got it right here.

I can check on that.

No, you didn't.
I didn't think you did.

See, now I can't figure out
this small little note
that you made to yourself.

When Deschler called you
about the ransom money...

you wrote this small note
to yourself,
"$20,000 in small bills."

Yes, what is so hard
to figure out?

Well, what I can't
figure out, sir...

is why you didn't
write down the location
of the telephone booth?

I mean, if it was me
and my wife was involved...

I wouldn't trust that
to memory.

I would write that down
and I would want it exact.

Well, Lieutenant,
I was very upset.

I mean, I wasn't thinking
clearly at all.

Maybe, if it had been
your wife...

you would have acted
just as stupidly as I did.

Lieutenant, you'll have
to excuse me, please.

Yes, sir.
Thank you very much
for your help, sir.

Can I have
the personal effects...

on this case,
Alvin Deschler?

Just want the envelope? Yeah.

[phone ringing]

Columbo. Hey!

[chuckling]
What are you doing
down here in the dungeon?

How are you doing,
Captain?

Well, I'm just
checking out a few things
in the Galesko kidnapping.

Galesko?

I thought
that case was closed.

Well, you know me, Captain.
Just tying up some loose ends.

Now let me tell you
something.

You won't find any loose ends
on this one.

I mean, they found
the guy's motel room,
the cut-up newspaper...

the paste, the camera.

Ballistics match
that gun of his to the weapon
that killed Mrs. Galesko.

He made the phone call,
the ransom phone call...

from his motel room
to the Galesko home.

The guy's a two-time loser
for extortion.

What else do you need?

You know what bothers me?

This guy is always
driving around in cabs.

Here you are, sir.

The real estate man...

he mentioned the cab,
so I didn't think
nothing of it.

Then I go
to the camera shop...

and the fellow there tells me
Deschler pulls up in a cab.

So I start
to think about it.

I call the parole officer.

Well, don't you know
that Deschler reports
to the parole officer.

When he leaves,
the officer is looking out
of the window...

and there's Deschler,
he's in the middle of the
street, he's hailing a cab.

So what?

Well, what bothers me, sir,
is that all of a sudden...

on Thursday
the 20th at noon...

the day of the kidnapping,
he rented a car.

You didn't expect him
to kidnap Mrs. Galesko
in a taxicab, did you?

No, what bothered me was
why didn't he rent a car
earlier?

You know?

I mean, why didn't
he rent a car on the 10th?

Around the 8th or the 9th?

Listen, it's expensive
to drive around for two weeks
in a taxicab.

Why don't you save money,
rent a car sooner?

Columbo, why are you
wasting your time with this?

Because it bothers me,
and I couldn't sleep...

and I kept thinking
about it.

And I think I came up
with the answer.

Oh?

The reason he couldn't
rent a car earlier...

is because he was
just out of prison...

and he didn't have
a driver's license.

Now let's just see
if I'm right.

I'll tell you,
if I'm right about this...

this is gonna tickle
the life out of me.

I live for these
kind of things, huh?

Now, let's just see.

[chuckling]
I knew it.

Got a temporary license.

Thursday the 20th.
See, I knew it.

Now the reason
he couldn't rent a car
earlier was...

because he didn't have
a license.

Now at least I know
why he was always
driving around in cabs.

All right,
he didn't have a license.

The he turned around
and got a license.

Yes, but the question is
when, sir.

I mean, he didn't get it
until the morning of the 20th.

Because he didn't rent the car
until noon.

I mean, don't you think
that's pretty dumb?

Here's a guy
who plans a kidnapping for
sometime in the afternoon...

either before the auction
or after the auction.

And up until noon
of the day he does it...

he doesn't even know
if he has a driver's license?

I mean, suppose they have
long lines that day.

Hey, listen...

suppose he flunked
the driving test.

But as you can see,
he did not flunk
the driving test.

But he could've.

No, I'm sorry, Mr. Tyler...

we'll be out of the country
starting next week.

[door opening]

Yes?

Yes, I will.

Goodbye, Mr. Tyler.

Good morning,
Lieutenant. Ma'am.

You're here to see
Mr. Galesko?

Yes, if I may.

All right,
he's in with a client
right now...

but it shouldn't be
much longer.

Thank you very much.

These are all his books?

Mmm-hmm.

I didn't realize
that so many of his...

photographs have been
published in book form.

Yes.

He's a very talented
and gifted man.

Oh, I can see that.

[Mrs. Charleswort]
Paul, you're simply marvelous.

And such a dear
to make time for me.

It's an honor,
Mrs. Charleswort.

You will have my proofs
soon, won't you?

I will be in touch
with you by Monday.

You're an absolute darling.

Goodbye.

[sighing]

[Columbo]
Mr. Galesko.

Lieutenant.

Is there anything
I can do for you?

I'd like a few minutes
of your time, if I may.

You have an appointment
with Mrs. Peterson at 11:00.

This won't take long.
It is important.

All right, come on in,
Lieutenant.

Boy!
This is really something.

All this stuff
just to take pictures.

I do considerably
more than...

just take pictures,
Lieutenant.

You know, I have
to hand it to you, sir...

giving all this up,
you know, just like that.

Who told you that?

Jeez, somebody.
Was it the publisher?

Yeah, he said you were going
on some kind of trip...

to the Philippines.

Well, as a matter of fact,
that's right, Lieutenant.

I'm going to prove
Tom Wolfe was wrong.

After three years of creating
junk portraits like this...

I'm going to pick up
just where I left off.

Well, you know,
now that you mentioned it...

I couldn't help seeing
all those books
that you've published...

the ones out there
in the reception.

It's very impressive.

Lieutenant, you said
you had something to ask me.

Yes, sir.

I have this problem.

You remember my idea
of taking pictures out
at the cemetery?

Oh, yes,
your phantom accomplice.

I'm afraid it didn't
work out too well, sir.

He wasn't there, then, huh?

Well, I'm not sure.

Lieutenant,
these are the worst pictures
I have ever seen.

I know, sir....

It was a new camera.

I borrowed it
from the neighbor.

He explained how to use it...

then I got confused.

What's this one?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir.

I don't know how this
got mixed up in there.

No, it's got nothing to do
with the cemetery. No.

You know
where I found this one?No.

Well, I found this photograph
in the fireplace out there...

at the ranch house.

Oh, really? Strange, huh?

Why strange?

Strange that Mr. Deschler
would take this picture
and throw it away.

'Cause it's a perfectly
good picture.

Lieutenant, that is not
a good picture.

The exposure is way too light,
the framing is off.

Everything's way off-center.

The framing.
It's not a good picture,
Lieutenant.

You know, you're right.

You see,
now that you mention it,
I see what....

Well, it goes to show you
what a bad photographer I am.

I guess
Mr. Deschler's like you.

What do you mean, like me?

Well, I mean,
he must've been
unhappy with it.

I mean,
a perfectionist like you.

Otherwise, why would he
take another one?

Lieutenant, photographic
composition is a talent.

You're born with it.

And you obviously
don't have it.

Oh, I'm not gonna
argue with you there.

Well, you know,
I wish I that ability.

'Cause next month.... I think
I mentioned this to you.

My brother-in-law...

next month he's celebrating
his 20th anniversary party...

and actually
I was thinking....

I don't know whether
I should bring it up or not.

You know, if you're not
doing anything...

could you could drop by
and take a few pictures?

It's nothing fancy.

We all have a good time.

We've got
a big spread there...

and the old fellows,
they play bocce ball.

Lieutenant, I'm afraid
that's impossible.

First of all, I don't just
drop by and take pictures.

And, secondly, I'm leaving
on my Philippines trip
next Wednesday.

Oh, sorry, sir,
I didn't realize
it was that soon.

Maybe Miss McGrath,
your assistant....

No, she'll be going with me.

I didn't realize that.

[knock on door]

Mrs. Peterson is here.

I'll be right with her,
Lorna.

Well, I'll be
running along, sir...

and thank you very much
for the time.

That's all right.

There's one other thing, sir.

It's a bit of a problem.

That newspaper.

What newspaper?

The one we found
in Deschler's motel room.

The one that the letters
and the words for the ransom
note were cut out of.

Yes.

The problem is, sir...

between the time that you
got the ransom note...

and the time that the officer
entered the motel room...

the maid said
she cleaned up the room.

She said...

"'I cleaned the room.
There was no newspaper.

"'Otherwise it would've
been thrown out.'"

So, Lieutenant?

I was just wondering,
sir, do you have
any thoughts on that?

Why, no, I don't....
I mean, why should I?

Chances are, Lieutenant...

the maid probably
forgot to clean up the room.

And when you asked her
about the newspaper...

she lied to cover up
her carelessness.

"Lied to cover up
carelessness.

"Possibility."

[people chattering]

Right. What a dandy crowd,
wouldn't you say, Paul?

When the admission's free,
you never know
who you're gonna attract.

Oh, come on.Hi, Phil.

Hey, Phil,
how are you?

They're enjoying it
so much.

I really hate to have it
only one day.

Well, it isn't every day
that Paul Galesko
comes out of retirement...

to start a new book.
Oh, and...

talking about books...

that funny little man
came by my office again
yesterday.

What man?

You know, the policeman.

Bombarded you with questions,
I suppose?

Oh, yeah. But he bought
one of your volumes...

so it wasn't a complete
waste of time.

You know, he did take quite
an interest in your work
the other day.

And today as well.

Mmm?

Mr. Galesko, sir?

Good afternoon,
Lieutenant.

I've been looking
all over for you.You have?

Yes. I hope
I'm not interrupting.

No, no.

It's a wonderful turnout
you have here.

Yes, we're very,
very pleased.

Oh, Paul,
the pictures are just lovely.

Hello. It's just lovely.

Lieutenant,
did you want something?

Is there someplace, sir,
that you and I could talk?

Columbo, you're
becoming very annoying,
do you know that?

Paul, why don't you
use the old studio?

Why, I'm sorry-- It's about Mr. Deschler, sir.

All right, but you'll
have to make it short.

I'd offer you something,
Lieutenant,
but I'm not a drinker.

What? Oh, that's all right.

Of course you're probably
on duty, anyway.

You are on duty,
aren't you?

Yes, sir.

You know, it isn't every day
that I go out...

and I spend $24 on a book.

But that's beside the point.
This is a terrific book.

I went through it last night
five or six times.

Do you know how many
photographs you have
in this book?

Lieutenant, I have never
counted my photographs.

You took 522 photographs.

522 pictures.

You took 522 photographs,
and I have to tell you
something.

I've been to San Quentin
a few times.

You know, in the early days,
they used to take prisoners
up there.

And I wanted to tell you,
you really captured
the mood of the place.

It's very depressing.

Well, Lieutenant, a camera
is like an artist's palette.

Tool is nothing
without the art.

Look at this one.

I brought that
into the Ukraine with me.

Must've been 11 years ago.

Maybe it was even
more than that.

You were there
seven weeks, sir? What?

San Quentin.

It says here in the jacket...

you were there
for seven weeks.

You worked there.

You slept there,
you ate with the prisoners.

That's right.

That's what I thought.

May I show you something?

Mmm-hmm.

You see that, sir? Mmm-hmm.

You see that man
in the background?

Yes?

That's Mr. Deschler.

Really?

Why, yes, I believe it is.

You know,
when I saw this book
in your office...

and I realized that
you'd spent that much time
in San Quentin...

I knew I had to go out
and buy it.

Do you know how many other
photographs of Deschler
are in here?

Oh, Lieutenant.

Nine.

Nine other photographs
of Mr. Deschler are in here.

Wait a minute.

There's another one.

See that? Mmm-hmm.

All right. That's Deschler.

But, sir,
in your sworn statement...

you said that
you'd never met the man.

Oh, Lieutenant.

Surely, you don't expect me
to remember one obscure man...

from the thousands
I've photographed
over the years.

I didn't even know
the man's name.

But not his name, sir.
His face.

Your business is faces.

I thought maybe
that you'd met him
when you were at the prison.

Well, I didn't.

And even if I had,
I wouldn't remember it.

Lieutenant, maybe...

maybe he remembers me
from that visit.

And probably knowing
that I was well-off...

he picked me
for his next victim.

Well, that's
a possibility, sir, yes.

You don't think so,
huh, Lieutenant?

You believe that somehow
I'm responsible
for my wife's death.

Oh, don't deny it,
Lieutenant.

You're like a little
shaggy-haired terrier...

that's got a grip
on my trousers,
you won't let go.

I can't turn around
without you staring up
at me...

with that blank innocent
expression on your face.

I won't deny, sir,
that I have problems
with this case.

[Lorna]
Lieutenant.

Please.

Don't you think
he's been through enough?

It's all right, Lorna.

[clears throat]
Well, I'm sorry, ma'am.

You're going
to be a lot sorrier,
Lieutenant...

if you don't stop
following me around.

In two days I am leaving
for the Philippines...

with Miss McGrath, here.

And for eight
blessed weeks...

I won't have to be
greeted with your
suffocating presence.

Or are you planning on
going along?

Oh, no, sir.

In which case
I'll scream until the beams
at city hall shake.

That won't be necessary.
I know I've been a pest.
I'm just trying to do my job.

I won't bother you anymore.

I hope you mean that,
Lieutenant, for your sake
and for mine.

Would you just
fill that out, please?

[telephone ringing]

Department of Motor Vehicles.
Miss Hanley.

Yes, ma'am, this is
Lieutenant Columbo.

We spoke the other day.

Lieutenant?
Oh, yes, I remember.

You were asking
about our Mr. Weekley.

Weekley. Yes, ma'am.
That was the man's name.

You said he was out of town.
You said he'd be back
this morning.

I wonder
if I could speak to him.

I'm terribly sorry,
Lieutenant. He's not here.

In fact, he's stranded out
on the road.

Some sort of car trouble.

Could you give me
that location
where he's stranded?

Look, lady,
do you want a tow
or don't you?

I told you,
it ain't gas you need,
it's a new fuel pump.

I will not pay you $20
to tow my car.

Well, lady,
you can stay here
all day for all I care.

Mr. Weekley?

Mr. Weekley?Yes?

They told me at the office
I could find you here.

I'm Lieutenant Columbo,
I'm from the police.

I'd like to ask you
a few questions.
I hope you don't mind.

It's my lunch hour.
I'm hungry, irritable.

Well, is there something
I can do, sir?

What did you have in mind?

Are you stuck?It's obvious, isn't it?

I guess, sir. Well, then, why ask?

I thought it might be helpful
if I gave you a lift.

That would be helpful, yes. Where are you going?

To the office. Of course.

Right this way, sir.

Thank you.

Is it safe?

The car? Yeah.

Absolutely, sir.

[Columbo]
Here, let me get that
for you, sir. There we are.

Well, this knob came off.
Let me get it from over here.
All right, try it now, sir.

No?

Here we are.

[coughs]

Seat belts, Lieutenant.
Seat belts.

Where are they?

Well, I don't have any, sir.

Is that a requirement?

It certainly is.

A new regulation?

Fourteen months.

Well, I'll certainly
do something about that.

This man that
I'm trying to check on,
Mr. Alvin Deschler--

Look behind you, Lieutenant.What is it?

When you pull away
from a curb,
you must look behind you.

Sorry, sir.

All clear now.

As I was saying,
I'm checking on a man
named Alvin Deschler...

and he took his driving test
on the morning of the 20th.

Do you remember Mr. Deschler? I wouldn't remember.

No.

You don't remember
a Mr. Alvin Deschler?

Why should I?
These people mean
absolutely nothing to me.

Oh, I see. Well,
maybe a photograph, sir.

Let me show you a photograph.
I have one right here.

Keep your eyes
on the road, Lieutenant.

I'm all right.
Don't worry. Eyes on the road!

But I'm not.

I had a woman
in the car yesterday...

would you believe that
she backed into a mailbox?

Now that's not a joke,
that's a fact. A mailbox!

Did she? Can you picture that?

Really? Yes.

Those things,
I suppose, are nerving,
aren't they?

Yes, they are.

Here's that photograph, sir.
This is the man
that I'm talking about.

Now, I know that he took
his driving test on the
morning of the 20th...

but what I really require
is positive identification.

Yes. We're gonna turn
at the next block.

Turn at the next block. Signal.

[car tires screeching]

Watch your right.
Always watch that right.

And the left.
Your eye has to be trained.

To watch both ways. Exactly.

It's called defensive driving.
Watch it!

[tires screeching]

Pull over.

I'm sorry, sir.
I'm sorry.

Pull over.

We've got another
10 or 12 blocks, sir.

Just pull over.

Would you shut off
your engine?

Just to be on the safe side.

Yes, sir.

Lieutenant, Columbo...

I'm sure you have
a driver's license.

It may even have been
issued in this state.

It may even be valid.

But all of these things
notwithstanding...

I'm sure
you'll understand why...

I'm electing to walk
the rest of the way.

Yes, sir, I suppose
it's good exercise.

I mean, I should do
more of it myself.

Indeed, you should.

About the picture, sir.

It's very important that
I have this identification.

Could you just
take a moment?

[Weekley panting]

Deschler. I remember him.

A good driver.
A very good driver.

Is he the man
who just got out of prison?

Yes, sir.

I remember him.

And he took his driver's test
on the morning of the 20th?

Yes, he did.

And you're willing to sign
an affidavit to that effect?

Certainly.

Unless, of course, it means
that you have to drive me
to police headquarters.

Oh, no, sir.
No, sir, don't worry.

You'll be able
to drive yourself.

Mr. Galesko?

[projector clicking]

Mr. Galesko?Yes?

Sergeant Hoffman.

I wonder if you'd mind
going down...

to headquarters
with me, sir.

Lieutenant Columbo
would like to talk to you.

Really?

Does he wanna discuss my work
or show me some more
of his photographs?

Please, sir...

if you won't come
voluntarily, I'm afraid...

he'll have to issue
a warrant for your arrest.

Is that so?

All right, Sergeant.

I'll talk to your Lieutenant.

Might be amusing.

Yes, sir.

[Paul]
All right, Lieutenant,
what's the meaning of this?

Just one minute, sir,
I'm looking for a K.

Here it is.

Columbo, I warned you.

Yes, you did, sir...

and I want you to know
that I didn't take
your warning lightly.

But I have no choice, sir.

You see, I don't think
Mr. Deschler killed your wife.

I don't think he even met her.

I think
you arranged everything.

I think you arranged
the false kidnapping,
the ransom note...

the telephone call,
and I think
you lured Mr. Deschler...

to the junkyard
and I think you shot him.

Of course
you can prove all this.

You see this newspaper?

This is the same edition
of the newspaper...

that the letters and words
for the ransom note
were cut out of.

I'm trying
to reconstruct that note.

Need any help with
your spelling, Lieutenant?

I'll tell you
what the problem is.

We found this newspaper
in the motel room.

It was sprawled over a chair.

It was left there.

Even though the maid said
that she cleaned up the room.

Yes, I told you.
She probably lied.

That's the problem, sir.

You see this terrible mess
I'm making.

There's just no way
to cut up this paper...

and paste together this note
without making a mess.

I know. I tried it last night,
my wife and I.

Columbo,
what's your point?

My point is this:

If the maid forgot
to clean up the room...

then why didn't we find
little bits and pieces
of paper somewhere?

You see the problem?

If she did clean up the room,
then everything gets
thrown out.

All the bits and pieces
of paper get thrown out...

and the newspaper
gets thrown out.

If she doesn't
clean up the room...

then these scraps of paper,
they have to be somewhere.

You can see the contradiction.

You're incredible.
You're really incredible.

This man, this criminal,
abducts my wife, kills her...

tries to kill me
in cold blood.

But instead of
recognizing the obvious...

you accuse me of some kind
of a monstrous scheme.

Deschler killed Frances.
No one else.

No, sir.
That's not possible.

You see, Mr. Deschler
had an alibi.

What? Yes, sir.

He couldn't possibly
have killed your wife.

And what's more,
your sworn statement
is perjured.

You're crazy.

Correct me if I'm mistaken...

but you said you were
with your wife until noon
on Thursday, the 20th...

the day she was abducted.

Yes.

Well, you see, sir,
Mr. Deschler was down...

at the Department
of Motor Vehicles...

taking his driver's test
that morning.

And I have got
a sworn statement from
an examiner to that effect.

So you see,
Mr. Deschler couldn't possibly
have kidnapped your wife...

but you could have.

Lieutenant, what in the hell
are you saying?

Deschler had no alibi.
My wife was abducted
in the afternoon.

No, sir,
that's what we assumed.

Actually she was kidnapped
in the morning...

and at precisely the same time
that you said you were
at home alone with her.

I have absolute proof, sir...

that Mrs. Galesko
was tied to that chair
in that ranch house...

at 10:00 in the morning.

I took the snapshot
of Mrs. Galesko...

and I took it down
to our photo lab...

and I had a giant blow-up
made from that print.

And I want you to know,
my friend...

that I took personal charge
of that process...

just so that
there'll be no mistake.

You see that clock
in the background?

That clock reads 10:00.

That's very plain.

10:00, sir.

That's the time that
you claimed you were at home
alone with your wife.

Lieutenant, you're priceless.
You're a gem.

You're a little flawed
and you're not too bright,
but you're one of a kind.

I think that's a very
incriminating piece
of evidence, sir.

[laughing]

[Paul]
Evidence? Don't you see
what you've done?

You've taken that picture
and you have reversed it.

Sir?

You have made a mistake,
Lieutenant.

In the process of enlarging
that photo, you've turned
everything around.

The clock doesn't say 10:00.

It says 2:00.

Can you do that?
Is that possible?

[Paul]
It certainly is.

I don't understand.

Get the original photo
and compare it.

I'll demonstrate it to you.
Then you'll see where
you made a big mistake.

The original?The original snapshot, yes.

I'm afraid that's going to be
a problem, sir. You see...

when I was down
in the darkroom,
working with the guy...

from the photo lab
I was helping out...

I accidentally
dropped the original...

in a batch
of hydrochloric acid.

What?

Yes, sir.

There is no other print.
It's gone.

What is this?

A clumsy attempt to frame me
with false evidence?

Oh, no, sir, no,
I wouldn't do that.

Now I'm afraid,
this is the picture.

And there's been no mistake.
I'll testify to that.

Sgt. Hoffman, would you read
Mr. Galesko his rights?

Hold it, Lieutenant,
before you do something
you'll regret.

I hate to disappoint you...

but you have proof
of my innocence
despite your clumsiness.

Sir?

We don't need
the original snapshot.

A negative will
serve the same purpose.

Look at that negative
in the back of the camera,
Lieutenant.

It proves I'm right.

Were you a witness
to what he just did?

Yes, Lieutenant.

Were you a witness
to what he just did?

Yes, sir.

Were you a witness
to what he just did?

Yes, I am, sir.

Witness to what?

You just
incriminated yourself, sir.

You've identified the camera.

That's right, sir.
That's what you did.

You see, you didn't pick out
this one or this one
or this one.

You didn't touch
any of these 12 cameras,
you picked that one.

Yes, this is the camera
that was used to take
your wife's picture.

But you would have no way
of knowing that...

or of knowing that
this negative was in the back
of this particular camera...

unless you'd taken
the picture yourself.

Sorry, sir.

If I hadn't
taken that camera....

You were counting on that.

You didn't accidentally
reverse that film.

You did that deliberately.

Sergeant Hoffman.

[Hoffman]
You have the right
to remain silent.

If you give up the right
to remain silent...

anything you say can
and will be used against you
in a court of law.

You have the right
to speak with an attorney....