All language subtitles for Columbo S02E02 The Greenhouse Jungle 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DD+2 0 H 264-playWEB (1)_track3_[eng]

[gunshot]

-Lieutenant, I received
a letter from Tony.

Well, he's perfectly
all right.

Really.

-Uh, how big a ransom did the
letter ask for, ma'am?

-I must say the lieutenant's
investigatory procedures do

differ somewhat from my own.

-Well, that speaks very well
for you, Sergeant Wilson.

[telephone ringing]

-Hello?

JARVIS [OFFSCREEN]:
Mrs. Goodland?

-Yes.

JARVIS [OFFSCREEN]: Mrs.
Tony Goodland?

-Who is this?

JARVIS [OFFSCREEN]:
Never mind.

I just wouldn't go any
place if I was you.

Your old man, he just bought
himself some trouble.

-He's what?

Come--

What are you talking about?

-Just stay put, lady.

If he pays up, no
hard feelings.

If he don't, we'll be
in touch with you.

-Get in touch?

What is this?

[SOUND OF TELEPHONE
HANGING UP]

[dial tone]

-Tony.

Tony?

[telephone ringing]

-Hello?

Whom?

-Mrs. Tony Goodland.

And if my husband is there, Miss
West, I'd like to speak

with him, please.

-Well, why would you--

I mean, what makes you--

-I know what you mean, dear,
and you know what I mean.

Now, is he there, or isn't he?

-Well, he certainly is not.

Now, I was, at one
time, Tony's--

Mr. Goodland's receptionist.

Employee, Mrs. Goodland.

And that is absolutely all.

-I know all about your
skills at the office.

Just tell me where Tony is.

-Well, I don't know
where he is.

Honest, Mrs. Goodland.

I--

[dial tone]

-[sigh]

-Jarvis?

I'm looking for Tony.

-Ah, sweet Catherine.

Looking for Tony, are you?

My, what a pleasant
surprise for him.

Tell me, my dear, have you
tried your own home?

-I am home.

-Well, a double surprise.

-Jarvis, look.

I'm not in the mood for playing
badminton right now.

I got a weird phone call a
couple of minutes ago, and I--

-Did you?

One of your friends?

-Damn it, Jarvis.

Would you listen?

-Oh.

Sounds quite lethal,
doesn't he?

Well, I tell you, Cathy.

Why don't you wait an hour,
and if Tony doesn't come

weaving in by then, why don't
you call the authorities?

Yes, of course.

The police.

Drunks and errant husbands
are their

special province, I believe.

Not at all, my dear.

Oh, and, Cathy, assuming nothing
is wrong with Tony,

it's been my pleasure to hear
you so upset, my dear.

[door opening]

-Torpedoes running straight,
hot and normal.

-Why do you always have to talk
to her like she was some

kind of a--

-Well, isn't she?

-I've told you before.

Knock off that stuff.

-And the word for you is still
"gullible." Why do you insist

upon being in love with a wife
who spends all your cash on

some skiing instructor?

-Maybe I fool around a
little bit myself.

-In self-defense, dear boy.

Of course, you are
embarrassingly weak and far

too decent to compete with
your Catherine the Great.

-Uncle Jarvis, I'm
warning you.

I don't want to hear any
more talk about--

look, this whole thing
better work.

It just better work.

That's all.

-Oh, it'll work.

I planned it.

And now, let's be off to
conclude phase one, shall we,

nephew?

-Uh, no.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

What if-- what if Cathy calls
you back again later?

-She'll get a busy signal.

I thought I told you to listen
to the police calls.

-I have been.

I just turned it off.

-Then turn it on again.

[police scanner chatter]

-Now, what about
tomorrow night?

-I make the first phone call to
Cathy between midnight and

12:30.

-From?

-That roadside phone
just below here.

-And the second call?

-20 minutes later from the same
phone to you in a gas

station on Wilshire.

-Good.

-Boo.

It's gonna feel like Halloween,
wearing this thing.

-Now, don't forget
to wear these.

We don't want some clod trying
to match footprints.

Now, where's the letter?

-Oh.

Here.

Uh, uh, copied straight
from your draft.

-Word for word?

-Yes.

FEMALE VOICE ON POLICE
SCANNER: Name and

description--

-What about fingerprints?

FEMALE VOICE ON POLICE SCANNER:
--of missing person--

-Only mine on the letter
and the envelope.

FEMALE VOICE ON POLICE SCANNER:
Anthony Goodland.

Age 35.

-Hey!

Listen!

FEMALE VOICE ON POLICE SCANNER:
--driving yellow

sports car.

Chrome spoke wheels,
license ZZ0324.

All cars, report if
subject located.

-Well, we are in business.

And now, dear nephew,
to phase two.

-Listen, Jarvis.

Couldn't we just hide the Jag?

That thing cost me a bundle.

-Did it cost you $300,000?

-Did it cost you $300,000?

-Did it cost you $300,000?

-Did it cost you $300,000?

Headlights off.

-I know.

-Dashboard clock set
back to 12:18.

Windows up.

Emergency brake off?

-Yes.

Flaps up, wheels down.

-Would you mind?

[gunshot]

-Well, don't just stand there.

Push!

[grunt]

-Come on.

The end of a perfect day.

[police scanner chatter]

[police scanner chatter]

-Hey, mister.

Didn't you see me signaling?

-I'm a cop.

-Right.

You're a cop.

Now, look.

Can you back this up and move it
down the hill with the rest

of the traffic?

-Officer, you don't
understand.

-Lieutenant.

-I fully understand.

Look--

-Lieutenant.

Don't worry about your car.

The officer will move
it for you.

Officer, right now.

-Lieutenant?

-This way, sir.

-Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

[police scanner chatter]

-Sir-- oh, sir.

May I?

-Oh, fine.

-Sir, the, uh, vehicle's
point of descent

is right over there.

You'll notice the skid
marks, of course.

-These are the, uh, these are
the second set of skid marks

here?

-No, sir.

The second set is
right over here.

It's a bigger, heavier
vehicle.

Of course, I don't have
to tell you that, sir.

-Oh, please.

You can tell me.

-Well, the smaller vehicle is
the vehicle that descended

into the canyon.

Here.

I'll show you the quickest
way down.

-Lieutenant?

-It's a little, uh, steep.

-Yes.

Sir?

-But I'll tell you, it was
the quickest way down.

-Oh, yes.

By far.

Here, sir.

-Thank you.

-This is the car right
here, sir.

Subject vehicle, a Jaguar,
registered to subject person

of last night's missing person
report, Anthony Goodland.

Male, Caucasian, residing
11 Hightower Road.

Discovered approximately one
hour ago by two juveniles

taking a shortcut to school.

You want their names,
lieutenant?

-What?

Who?

I'm sorry?

-The juveniles.

I have their names right here
when you need them.

-Yeah.

Very good.

Very good.

-Yes, sir.

Soil moisture tests beneath
subject vehicle indicate

residual dew, indicating, in
turn, that subject vehicle has

been here since last night.

That is substantiated by subject
vehicle's electric

clock, which stopped
running at 12:18.

Bullet hole in window on
driver's side, but no blood,

indicating preliminarily
that bullet missed.

Bullet slug lodged in back
of passenger seat.

Lights, ignition, emergency
brake, all off.

[chuckles]

Well, sir, I guess I don't have
to tell you what this all

adds up to.

-Uh, adds up to?

Yeah.

You can tell me.

-As I reconstruct it, sir, Mr.
Goodland was, uh, halted by

the shot you're looking at
there, forced out of the car,

which was then pushed
over the side.

This to conceal the fact that
he was grabbed by person or

persons unknown.

That jive with your
thinking, sir?

-Uh, I was wondering.

Could you tell me your name?

-Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir.

Detective Sergeant Frederic
Wilson, sir.

Please, forgive my rudeness.

-No, that's perfectly
all right.

-Uh, one year's experience
Homicide, two years Advanced

Police School, Berkeley.

Returned to City Homicide
6 July.

-Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Well, you're a very
efficient officer.

I can see that.

-Thank you, sir.

-All right.

-With permission from Captain
Richey to work right

alongside you, sir.

-You're going to work
along with me?

-I, uh, do hope that's
acceptable to you, sir.

I, uh--

Captain Richey did say you were
fast becoming a legend in

the department.

-Oh, Captain Richey said that?

-Oh, yes.

Indeed.

-Oh.

Oh.

Uh, do you have a
pocket knife?

-Yes, sir.

-Would you hold this for me?

-Oh, certainly, sir.

-I wonder why he said that.

-I beg your pardon?

-Uh, Captain Richey,
he said that?

-About you?

Oh, repeatedly, sir.

-I wonder why he said that.

Thank you.

-Oh, thanks.

-I wonder if you can get this
over to the crime lab as soon

as possible.

-Oh, yes, sir.

-Uh, this fellow have a wife?

Does she know about this?

-I suggested they wait until you
had made your preliminary

report, sir.

-Oh, very good.

Sergeant, I wonder if you could
hang around here and see

if you can locate any more
physical evidence, something

that might do us some good.

Could you do that?

-Certainly, sir.

Yes.

-Thank you.

Fine.

-Uh, lieutenant.

-Yes?

-Um, I--

I hope you don't mind Captain
Richey assigning

me to you like this.

I mean, that is to say, I
realize it was done without

consulting you.

And, uh--

-No, Freddie.

That's perfectly all right.

Uh, Captain Richey is very
fine administrator.

And I'm sure he just wanted to
expose me to some modern

techniques.

No, I appreciate that.

Uh, I--

I think I'll go the
long way around.

-Oh, yes.

-Fine.

-Oh, lieutenant?

-Yes?

-Uh, your-- your coat.

-Oh.

Thank you very much.

I'll carry it.

Thanks.

-Well, I must say, Catherine,
our kidnapper, whoever he is,

is certainly no piker.

To demand a ransom
of $300,000.

Why, I'll wager there are weeks
here and there where

even you don't spend
that sort of money.

-Don't you ever stop, Jarvis?

-Well, well, well.

Leaving our personal affection
aside, you must realize that

my situation is such that even
I couldn't pour even the

smallest drop into such
a huge bucket.

Even though I'm not a weakling
with a spendthrift wife.

[doorbell rings]

-Oh, shut up, Jarvis.

-Uh, Mrs. Goodland?

-Yes.

-Uh, police department, ma'am.

Lieutenant Columbo.

-Yes?

-Uh, would you mind
if I came in?

-Well, I've already told your
people everything I know,

lieutenant, in triplicate.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

I have company.

-Uh, ma'am.

Uh, you see, this time I've
got something to tell you.

-Oh.

Well, come in.

This is Lieutenant-- uh--

-Columbo.

Uh, how do you do, sir?

-This is Jarvis Goodland,
Tony's uncle.

-Did I hear you say you have
something to tell us?

-Uh, yes, sir.

Uh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Goodland.

Um, we found your husband's
car about an hour ago.

It was in a canyon off
Middlecross Road.

Uh, smashed up pretty
badly, I'm afraid.

Uh, kind of a long drop off
that particular spot.

Uh, even worse, we found a
bullet hole in the window on

the driver's side.

You already heard this?

-Uh, no.

-Oh.

Well, it kind of seems to me
that if somebody popped in and

told my wife that they found
my car at the bottom of a

canyon with a bullet hole
in it, uh, you know, I--

I think that she would want to
ask if I was in the car, if I

was hurt, if I was alive,
if I was dead.

-You're quite right,
lieutenant.

We do know much of what
you're telling us.

-[DISAPPROVING] Jarvis.

-It's always better to tell
the truth, my dear.

Especially to the police.

-Jarvis, will you let me ha--

Lieutenant, I received
a letter from Tony.

Well, he's perfectly
all right.

Really.

-Uh, how big a ransom did the
letter ask for, ma'am?

-You already knew.

-Oh, no, no.

No, uh--

is that an ashtray?

No, it's just that letters to
wives and relatives saying

don't talk to the police, they
often involve a kidnapping.

And I mean, uh, the way I could
just barely get into the

house here, just not right
here at the door--

well, I make these small
observations.

I can't help it, ma'am,
sometimes.

May I see the letter, please?

-Well, you can't.

Aside from the fact it
specifically says not to give

the police any information--

-Mrs. Goodland, I will do
nothing to endanger the safety

of your husband.

But this is a crime.

This is a police matter.

-I've already sent it by
messenger to Mr. Jameson at

the Golden West Bank.

He's gonna verify Tony's
handwriting.

He'll do whatever
is necessary.

-Catherine, I think
you'd better

cooperate more than that.

The letter asks for $300,000
in small, unmarked bills.

-$300,000.

Well, that's a lot of money.

I mean--

well, do you mind if I ask
you, do you have access?

-Well, of course,
I don't have it.

But Tony has a trust fund.

Now, in an emergency
like this--

-Ah, the trust fund.

That's why you wanted me here.

-Well, Jarvis, I certainly
know you wouldn't help me

raise the money any other way.

-I'm sorry.

I don't quite understand
about that trust fund.

-Well, you see, I'm
co-administrator with the bank

of a trust fund set up
by Tony's father.

And you, Catherine, should know
of all people that he put

enough strings in there to
protect Tony from his own bad

habits and grasping wives.

-I also know because Mr.
Jameson told me on the

telephone that there is an
emergency clause for--

well, for problems like this.

-Yes, there is that.

-Then you can get the money.

I mean, you can break
the trust fund.

Boy, that's a lucky thing.

-We can if the bank verifies
the letter.

-And if I choose to vote
in Tony's favor.

Now, there's no use glaring
at me like that.

Blood is thicker
than martinis.

I'll go and see Jameson
right away.

-Oh, uh, sir.

You will be careful with the
fingerprints, won't you?

I mean, we could help with
the verification.

Why don't I send one of the lab
boys over there to meet

you?

-Why don't you do that?

-Delightful, isn't he?

-What?

Huh?

Oh.

Well, you know, everybody
gets uptight in a

situation like that.

I can understand that.

Uh, now, Mrs. Goodland, believe
me, I understand how

concerned you are about
your husband.

And rest assured, we will
do nothing to interfere.

Just help.

[door opens and closes]

-I heard the front door close.

I thought you were alone.

Uh, who are you?

Another cop?

-Uh, yes.

Lieutenant Columbo.

-Ken Nichols.

A friend of the family's.

-How do you do, sir?

-Hey.

You look a little tired.

Now, will you go on back
upstairs and get some rest?

You let me be the watchdog.

Fix him a drink, or whatever.

-No, he was just leaving.

-Uh, yes.

I was just leaving.

Uh, now, Mrs., uh, Goodland,
you just follow any

instructions they give you in
that letter, and, uh, we'll

stay in the background until
your husband is released.

I mean, uh, don't worry.

Everything's going
to be all right.

-Lieutenant?

-Uh, yes?

-I'm scared about Tony, and I'll
do anything on earth to

see him safe.

We lead separate lives, and I
don't really care what you

might be thinking right now.

Good day.

-[sigh]

[rustling]

-Oh, excuse me.

I hope I didn't startle
you, sir.

One of your men--

I believe it was the gardener--
he said it was all

right if I waited here.

And I must say, it's been a
real pleasure because I've

never seen so many beautiful
flowers in my life.

-Orchids, lieutenant.

One of the finest collections
in the country,

even if I say so myself.

-My wife loves African
violets.

But boy, what a thrill
it would be to her.

I can imagine if I ever brought
something like this

home to her, she would--

-That specimen happens to
be called a moth orchid.

Its value is approximately
$1,200.

-$1,200.

Can you imagine that,
for one flower.

Hard to believe.

Boy, a fellow could go broke
with a hobby like this, hmm?

You mean to tell me every one
of these is worth $1,200?

-Lieutenant Columbo, I enjoy
talking about my orchids.

But I have a feeling you came
here with something

else in your mind.

-Yes, sir.

I'm waiting to hear how you
made out at the bank.

-Ah.

And to see this, I suppose.

-Oh, yes, sir.

That's very important.

I'd like to keep that for
evidence if I could.

See if I have a handkerchief
here.

-Oh, go ahead.

It won't bite you.

Your expert has already verified
that the fingerprints

are Tony's and that the
handwriting is his.

-Oh, he checked it out, did he?

-Oh, yes.

-Well, then there's no need
to be so careful.

[clears throat]

Let's see. "Cathy, A man is
standing over [muttering].

He's making me write this.

Driving in a car on
a country road.

Shot at me.

[muttering]

forced off the road.

Don't worry.

I'm not hurt." That must have
been a relief when you got to

that part.

-Oh, yes indeed.

-"--demand $300,000.

Whatever you do, don't
tell the--

No police.

Sit tight."

-Your expert has told you,
I'm sure, everything,

including the text.

-Yeah, you know.

They did in his way.

But--

-And also, the money
will be available.

-Yeah, that was a lucky
thing, wasn't it?

Having that trust fund.

-And also, the fact of your
being here jeopardizes my

nephew's life.

Now, supposing we
were watched.

-Good point, sir.

You're absolutely right.

Better run along.

Uh, the, uh, one or two little
things I have, I guess they

can wait until, uh, yeah.

Now, it just hit me how much you
must love these flowers.

No, when you didn't go straight
to the bank, I mean

with your nephew being
kidnapped, and they told me

you took the time to stop
off at the nursery--

-You mean I am being followed?

Already?

That you're interfering when
you promised you wouldn't?

-Uh--

-I'm gonna call up
your superiors.

-No.

There's no need to
do that, sir.

No, they've told me, and they've
made it very clear,

I'm to stay in touch, but until
your nephew is released,

believe me, we're way back.

Way back.

Nothing to worry about.

-In that case, I don't mind
revealing that my nephew isn't

worth a sack of peat moss.

He's a wife-ridden weakling whom
I've despised for years.

If it wasn't for the fact that
he's my only relative, I'd

call up his captors
and tell them that

they're welcome to him.

-Uh, lieutenant.

Sir.

The boys on the new shift,
they keep asking me why a

homicide lieutenant has
requested to stay on this

kidnapping thing.

Uh, I--

I don't know what I'm
supposed to say.

-Are they angry?

I hope they're not angry.

-Lieutenant.

We got a ring.

-Mmm.

OK.

[telephone ringing]

-Answer it.

[telephone ringing]

-Yes?

Tony!

Tony, where are you?

Yes, Jarvis is here.

Yes, I've got the money.

Yes, Tony, I'm listening.

-Tell Jarvis he's to go to
Caltexas gas station, 5835

East Wilshire.

Wait for a call.

Public phone booth.

You got that?

-Yes, I've got that.

Tony, are you all right?

Have they hurt you?

You sound so--

[dial tone]

-They made him hang up.

-5835 East Wilshire.

Yes, I think I know
the station.

Well, might as well
get it over with.

-If you'll just sign
this, Mr. Goodland.

Bank rules and all.

-Oh, yes, of course.

-What about my going with
you, Mr. Goodland?

-You?

-Sure.

I'll hide in the back
of the car and--

-My dear boy, there's one thing
I don't need is a hero.

Now, assuming I survive,
I shall

telephone and let you know.

-Keep him in sight.

No tailgating.

Understand?

-Yes, sir.

[telephone ringing]

-It's about time.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah O--

OK.

OK.

Um, take Sunset to Surf Road.

Uh, north on Surf, 4.6 miles.

You've got 15 minutes
to get there.

-I think he's stopping,
lieutenant.

-Pull up and turn
off your lights.

-Yes, sir.

-Did you ever see one of these
before, lieutenant?

-Uh, no.

I'm not sure I have.

It, uh, looks kind of
familiar, though.

-It's a, uh, camera-mounted
starlight scope.

They use them quite a bit at
Berkeley for night work.

-You mean that takes pictures
in the dark?

-Yeah.

I bought this one myself.

-You used your own money?

-Well, I wanted to have
the best equipment

for the job, sir.

-You must be a bachelor.

[camera clicking]

[camera clicking]

[camera clicking]

[camera clicking]

-Lieutenant, we've got some very
clear footprints here,

going and coming.

-Uh, good.

We'll have some moulage
casts made.

I think we better go.

-Lieutenant, uh, uh, I believe
I'd rather take some

three-dimension photographs,
if you don't mind.

We've pretty much stopped using
moulage, uh, casts, you

know.

-We have?

-Oh, with footprints?

Yes, indeed.

You see, we found that when the
plaster swells, it makes

them appear a half to
a full size larger

than they really are.

-No kidding.

-Oh, absolutely.

-Well, then maybe we better
take pictures.

-Oh, very good.

-Yes, as quickly as
you can, sergeant.

-Yes, sir.

-Oh, it's you, Columbo.

-Yes, sir.

I hope we didn't scare you.

Uh, Detective Sergeant Wilson.

-You didn't scare me, but
the kidnapper did.

That mask and everything.

Frankly, I'm a little
unraveled.

-Well, that's quite natural,
Mr. Goodland.

Believe me.

-Thank you, young man.

-Uh, sir, we're kind of
interested in exactly what

happened up there
on that hill.

-Well, the man said, Goodland?

I said, yes.

He says, give me the money.

I gave him the money.

I hope we didn't surround those
trees you ran into.

-Oh, no, sir.

Just as we agreed, we're going
to stay out of this thing

until your nephew is released.

You wouldn't recognize
him again, would

you, if you saw him?

The guy up there on the hill?

-I told you.

He had a stocking mask on.

-Yeah.

I guess it was pretty
dark up there, too.

Um, his voice?

Anything familiar
about his voice?

Or the way he walked, maybe?

-Lieutenant, I've had a
fatiguing and rather

frightening evening.

Can't this wait until
tomorrow?

-Yeah, I'm sorry, sir.

Uh, I guess it must seem to you
that we're not being very

considerate.

Have a pleasant night, sir.

-I presume that's
gallows humor.

Goodnight, young man.

Sorry it was so long.

We had to be sure that
Neanderthal policeman wasn't

following us.

-Well, it was hairy when
he stopped you.

I'll tell you that.

-Yeah.

Well, I'll take the bag.

-No.

I'll take it.

I've really gotta hand it
to you, Uncle Jarv.

Unbreakable trust broken to
the tune of 300 thou.

Would you look at these
lovely green bricks?

Beautiful.

-Far too beautiful for you to
waste your half on that woman.

-That woman happens to be my
wife, and I want to keep her.

If money is what it takes, money
is what she'll have.

-What a waste.

No, Tony, no.

The time has now come for me to
explain to you phase three.

Columbo.

-Oh.

Good morning, Mr. Goodland.

I was hoping I'd find you up.

Your gardener said I might
find you here.

-You have something on Tony?

-No, sir.

No.

I'm afraid we haven't
gotten any kind of a

report at all, sir.

None at all.

-That sounds ominous.

-Oh, he could pop up any
minute now, sir.

Of course, uh, there is that
possibility that once they get

him to write the letter and make
the phone call-- but you

never know.

-You mean they may have waited
until the ransom money was

paid, and then--

that's a grisly thought.

-Well, you just never know.

But it's good to be positive.

I always like to think
positive, sir.

-Is that all you came here
to talk to me about?

-No, sir.

No, I didn't.

Um, sir, I was hoping that
you'd be able to make a

suggestion.

My wife has tried everything
she knows to get

this thing to grow.

This African violet here.

Uh, I was hoping maybe you'd be
able to make a suggestion.

-That is the most miserable
specimen I've ever seen.

My only advice to you, Columbo,
is to throw it

in the trash can.

-Yeah.

I was afraid you were
gonna say that.

Well, what are you gonna do?

Listen, as long as I'm here, I
might as well bring up one or

two little things I didn't
get to before.

Uh, your nephew's wrecked
car, for instance.

Uh, you know, we found that
thing with the ignition and

lights off and the
gear in neutral.

-Neutral?

But the letter said he was
forced off the road.

Perhaps they grabbed Tony and
then pushed the car over the

side to keep it out of sight.

Don't you think?

-Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what it looks
like, all right.

Of course, only then one of them
made that first telephone

call to Mrs. Goodland.

-Well, that was to make
her believe the letter

when she got it.

She's a very hard woman to
convince of anything,

lieutenant.

-Mmm.

I wonder how they knew that?

Funny.

And no skid marks.

I mean, they were
really funny.

Say, what is this thing, sir?

-That is a multi-colored
cattleya bulb from Brazil.

-From Brazil.

You don't say?

Really?

-Skid marks, lieutenant?

-Huh?

-Skid marks?

-Oh, yeah.

There were marks of a heavier
car on that road, too.

But his Jaguar, you know, boy,
they can really travel.

I don't know how the heavier
car caught up with him.

-But they took a shot at him.

Isn't that what he said?

-Yeah.

That's what the letter--

well, you know something?

The line of flight of that
bullet through the window.

Well, that slug would have
passed right through him.

I mean, if he was
driving the car.

But it didn't.

I mean, nothing.

You know, no blood.

Nothing.

Just a 32-caliber slug
in the seat.

-Well, you see, Tony's
been ducking things

adroitly for years.

-Right, right.

Uh, very good, sir.

Do you want this?

Uh, listen, sir, you've
got a gun yourself,

haven't you, Mr. Goodland?

Uh, also a 32, I think.

Uh--

-Uh, mmm, uh, yes.

Yes.

There's one around
here somewhere.

I haven't seen it for
almost a year.

Uh, Tony gave it to me.

It's around the house
somewhere.

Lieutenant, you been
checking up on me?

-Oh, no sir.

No.

I just happened to run across
a, uh, police report you

filed, oh, way back
there sometime.

Yeah, I had it here
a minute ago.

I don't know what
happened to it.

Uh, it had to do with somebody
breaking into the, uh, into

the greenhouse here.

-Solarium.

-Oh, Solarium.

Right.

I stand corrected.

I got this telephone bill.

I gotta take care of that.

Oh, here we are.

There we are.

Yeah.

I guess a guy broke in and,
uh, what happened?

You took some, uh, potshots
at him or something?

-Columbo, you're marvelous.

Transparent, but marvelous.

You just happened to run
across this report?

-Well, I--

-I'd forgotten all about it.

-It didn't just happen.

-I did take a couple of shots,
buy all I hit was a pile of

dirt over there.

I scared me more than I
scared the prowler.

-Well, you know, with all the
glass you got here, and the

prices the way they are, it's
a good thing you shot low.

Believe me.

-Well, I confess.

Now, I have to change
and get to work.

-Confess to what, sir?

-To having an unregistered
weapon somewhere in the house.

That's what you're leading
up to, isn't it?

-Oh, no, sir.

Oh, no.

Not at all.

Listen.

If I arrested everybody with an
unregistered weapon in Los

Angeles, believe me, I'd have
half the population in jail.

-Then why are you
here, Columbo?

-Ho.

Gee.

This is magnificent.

-I asked you a question.

-I'm sorry, sir.

I happen to love this game.

I played it when I was a kid,
and, uh, this is such a

beautiful table here.

I'm--

I'm sorry, sir.

I didn't mean to hold you up.

You know, in my house, I don't
have room for a table in my

basement, even if I
could afford one.

Uh, I've got these pictures
here, sir.

Uh, these were taken with
a starlight scope.

That's a new camera.

It's a very sophisticated
instrument.

I'd like you to take
a look at them.

Um, you know, since you
were right there.

Uh, right on the spot,
so to speak.

-Where were these pictures
taken from?

-Oh, way down at the
bottom of the hill.

They don't show very much.

Which was kind of funny, too.

You don't mind, do you?

-What was kind of funny, too?

-Uh, hey.

I'm not as rusty as
I thought I was.

Uh, what's funny is that, um,
the place where they asked you

to deliver the ransom--

you know, way up on top of the
hill like that there-- uh, I

mean, it's almost as though they
wanted to have a place

that was exposed in order
to be photographed.

What do you think?

-I think it's very odd.

-So do I. I think this
whole case is odd.

You know what I mean?

I mean, you got those
skid marks, and you

got the bullet hole.

I tell you, most cases, you
don't have any clues.

Ooh, I can't miss a shot.

In this case, I got so
many clues, I don't

know where to start.

You know, it's almost
like they put them

there just on purpose.

-You're the detective.

Don't ask me for your answers.

-Oh, I can't miss a shot.

Isn't that wonderful?

Um, oh.

There is one thing that I did
want to ask you, sir.

You know what this
whole game is?

It's all in the wrist.

You just gotta keep
that loose.

What I wanted to ask you was,
uh, why do you think, uh, they

asked you to deliver the money
instead of the wife?

-Because they probably knew
that if Catherine had that

much money in the car, she'd
just keep on driving.

-Uh-huh.

I wonder how they knew that.

[telephone ringing]

-Yes?

It's for you, Columbo.

-Oh.

I told them I was
gonna be here.

I hope you don't mind, sir.

Hello?

Yeah, Columbo.

I'll be there as
soon as I can.

We've got some very
bad news, sir.

-What?

-They found your
nephew's body.

He's been murdered.

[clears throat]

Yeah.

-According to the coroner's
intern, the bullet apparently

went directly through the heart,
fired at extremely

close range as indicated by
the gunpowder traces.

Total envelopment of the body by
rigor mortis, which as, of

course, you know sir, fixes the
time of death at about 10

to 12 hours ago.

The caliber of the bullet
still to be determined

following the autopsy.

Uh, remove the body, men.

Is that all right
with you, sir?

Pronto.

Snap to it.

Move it.

Call me as soon as you've
got it loaded.

I'll come along.

I want that autopsy report quick
as I can get it, sir.

Lieutenant.

Lieutenant, as you've probably
noticed, there are three cups,

three plates, three different
brands of cigarettes.

That means there were
two persons

here besides the victim.

That's obvious.

-Yeah.

Awfully obvious.

I understand you were his
receptionist for a while.

-Who told you?

-Well, his wife sort of
mentioned it, uh, mentioned

your name.

-Her!

I can just imagine wh--

strike that from the record.

-Oh, sure.

Don't worry about it.

That's a good picture of Tony
right there, isn't it?

-Oh, I know what you're
thinking.

The secret love life of
the murdered man, eh?

-Well, we sort of like to
contact people who knew him,

regardless in what way.

And I understand that you two
have been acquainted for a

number of years.

-Well, you get this straight,
lieutenant.

There was no love affair.

I don't care who
told you what.

There just wasn't any.

-Well, did you see him?

Miss West, I'm not here to
hurt you, and I believe

everything you tell me.

I just think you can help me,
and I'd appreciate it if you

would cooperate.

Now, why did he come
here at night?

-His wife played around,
so he'd come here, and

he'd tell her so.

Half to try to make her jealous,
and half to show her

that he didn't really care
that she played around.

Care.

He cared, all right.

He'd sit here, and--

right where you are now--

talk.

-Did he talk a lot
about money?

I mean, lately?

-Maybe.

Uh, he was always going broke
from his allowance from some

trust thing, I guess.

-Did he talk about that?

That trust fund?

-Well, how should I know?

When Tony was drinking, it--

it's like the other night.

No.

No.

-What about the other night?

-No, I said.

Look, Tony is dead now.

Why should people--

-Miss West, believe me.

it's a lot better for you to
tell me something now then to

have to tell it in front
of a jury later on.

-In front of what?

-I'm not trying to scare
you, and I believe

everything you tell me.

I mean, about the love affair.

I believe everything.

I think you're a very
honest person.

-Thanks.

-Now, what about the
other night?

-Well, there's this gentleman
that his wife was getting

serious about.

I don't know who.

Uh, Tony said he made a living
getting a suntan,

whatever that is.

And--

and then about three nights ago,
Tony came in here and he

said everything is going
to be OK because--

-Because why?

-Because the gentleman had
agreed to go away and not to

see Tony's wife ever
again if--

if Tony--

if Tony gave him $50,000.

-Where was he gonna
get the $50,000?

Did he tell you that?

-Well, how should I know?

I mean, I was just trying
to pour coffee in him.

Honest, sir.

I just don't know any
more than that.

-Gloria, in your opinion, was
Tony the kind of man that

would arrange for a
fake kidnapping?

-Arrange for what?

-A fake kidnapping to raise the
money in order to break

that trust.

Because if he did, whoever
helped him do it might be the

man who killed him.

-Oh, look.

I--

I mean, I said he wasn't
a very strong person.

But then who is?

I mean, look at me.

I eat carbohydrates
all the time.

Please, sir.

Leave me alone now.

Stop asking me about Tony.

See, I--

I just never met another
man my whole life who

only wanted to talk.

-I understand.

Thank you very much.

-Hello, sir.

Is this you, Mr. Goodland,
to whom I speak?

-I still do not understand
you, Lieutenant.

I mean, just what is it that
you're trying to imply?

-Nothing, ma'am.

It's just that you've been
kind of hard to locate at

various times.

Uh, oh.

-You still don't approve of
my lifestyle, do you?

I told you before.

I really don't care
what you think.

-It's about time.

Where'd he come from?

-Homicide, of course.

Oh, they handle morals now.

He's objecting to
the places I go.

-No, ma'am.

That's not true.

-Uh, look.

Lieutenant Columbo.

This is, uh, this is her
boat, but it's me that

brought her down here.

Take her away from the house.

Give her a change of thoughts.

-Oh, listen.

I think that's a
terrific idea.

I mean, it's such a great
day for sailing.

I mean, if you like boats.

It's just the night
of the murder.

That's all I want
to ask about.

-Well, what about
it, lieutenant?

-Well, sir, uh, what's
your first name?

-Ken.

-Ken?

We have a very efficient
officer.

His name is Freddy Wilson.

And he happened to report that
Mrs. Goodland's car was gone

from the house about
the same time that

her husband was killed.

-So you came down here to
accuse me of murder.

-No, ma'am.

It's only that--

Well, you see, something new has
come up, and, uh, I have

to get rid of all these
little things first.

-I was out.

With Ken.

We took a nice, long drive, and
you can make whatever you

like out of that.

My worry for Tony did not
require my staying around the

house until his return,
on pins or needles.

-Yes, ma'am.

Yes.

I mean, I figured that.

You know something,
Mrs. Goodland?

You're a very unusual person.

You're not a hypocrite.

And I'm not gonna bother you
anymore with these things.

-OK, Jerry, let's cast off.

-Oh, there's one little thing.

Um, you know, this is gonna
sound kind of silly, I guess.

Take it for what it's worth.

You see, somebody tried to
convince me that you had a

lover, Mrs. Goodland.

And not only that,
this person--

Gloria West.

Young girl.

That was her name.

Gloria West.

Anyway, she said that, uh,
this mysterious lover of

yours, some guy with a deep
suntan, that he'd, uh, go away

and get out of your life forever
if your husband gave

him $50,000.

I'm sure it's just
malicious gossip.

Probably shouldn't have
mentioned it.

However, uh, for what
it's worth.

[doorbell]

[bells over door jingling]

-Mr. Goodland?

[alarm rings]

-Mr. Goodland?

-Ah, Miss West.

I'm sorry I couldn't
meet you sooner.

You said you wanted to
speak to me alone.

-Yes, sir.

It's, uh--

it's, uh-- ooh.

Gee.

It's kind of spooky
in here, isn't it?

-You don't like orchids?

-Oh, really, they're my
favorite corsage.

-Indeed.

Well, you said something on the
phone about seeing Tony

the other night.

-Yes, sir.

And-- and since you're his
relative, and-- and you've

been so polite the couple
of times we met.

Anyway, this detective came
to call this afternoon.

-Oh, rumpled raincoat?

Rumpled face?

-That's him.

A lieutenant.

Of course, I--

I didn't tell him everything.

About Tony and me, I mean.

And-- and some of it, I didn't
even think of until later.

-Some of what, Miss West?

-Well, I think that he thinks
that maybe Tony's kidnapping

wasn't a real kidnapping
at all.

-I beg your pardon.

-Like maybe Tony did it himself
to try to get some

money out of his trust fund.

And as a matter of fact, Tony
did mention to me that he-- he

might be able to get me
a new car pretty soon.

-And you believe his usual,
drunken promises?

-Uh, oh, no.

Not really, I guess.

-Tell me more about Columbo's
little theory.

I suppose my nephew also
murdered himself?

-No.

That was whoever helped
Tony, I guess.

And now that person has got all
that ransom money, too.

-Hmm.

It sounds quite absurd to me.

But tell me, why did you come to
me with all this nonsense?

-Oh, but it's not maybe, because
I also remembered--

well, a long time ago-- oh,
gosh, over a year ago--

Tony told me-- well, see, on the
radio, I heard that Tony

was killed by a bullet from
a 32-caliber gun.

-Yes?

-Well, a long time ago, like I
said, Tony told me he had a 32

that he'd given away.

And I remember now who he
told me he gave it to.

-And who was that, Miss West?

-His wife.

Well, don't you see
how that fits?

Well, maybe she and
Tony planned

the kidnapping together.

I bet she never even got that
threatening phone call she

told the police about.

So after the ransom was paid,
she brought in her boyfriend

and killed him.

Uh, Tony, I mean.

Not the boyfriend.

And so they split the ransom,
and she gets the estate, and

nobody's the wiser.

Except me.

-And now me.

But why me rather
than the police?

-Oh, I don't know.

I--

I always feel funny
around policemen.

And anyway, it's you who's in
charge of Tony's trust, isn't

it?

-In conjunction with
the bank, yes.

-Well, the radio says there will
be a reward for whoever

gets that ransom money back.

30,000 dollars reward.

And I'm claiming it.

I'm gonna help put that woman
in prison, and get paid

$30,000 for it, too.

-I'm sure you will, my dear.

And you're quite right about
the police, especially that

stupid lieutenant.

Now why don't you let me handle
things for a while?

Hmm?

-Oh.

Well, but you won't forget
about me, will you?

I mean, the reward.

-Miss West, I would
never forget you.

Now you just run along while
I make some phone calls.

And when the time comes for you
to give you information to

the proper authorities,
I'll be in touch.

-[WHISPERING] Thank you.

[bells over door jingling]

[sheets rustling]

[bells over door jingling]

[police siren]

[bells over door jingling]

-Mr. Goodland, sir.

I came over as quickly as I
could, as soon as I received

your message.

-Thank you, sergeant,
thank you.

I heard your sirens from
quite a ways off.

Now, I would appreciate it if
you would hand this gun to

your ballistics experts.

I rummaged around for quite some
time this evening, and I

finally found it in the wall
safe in my bedroom.

-Uh, I don't understand.

-Well, you see, when I told your
Lieutenant Columbo that

I'd owned the 32 but hadn't seen
it for several months, he

immediately leapt to accusations
that that possibly

could be the gun that
killed my nephew.

Now, I resent that implication,
sergeant.

-Well, sir, different
officers do have

their different methods.

I must say the lieutenant's
investigatory procedures do

differ somewhat from my own.

-Well, that speaks very well
for you, Sergeant Wilson.

-Well, thank you very much.

-Now, I've heard things which
cast an entirely different

light on my nephew's death.

Things so incredible, I can
hardly believe them.

Let's go into the
house, shall we?

Now, I feel it my duty to tell
these things as I see them.

How do you want your
chili, lieutenant?

With or without beans?

-Last night I had
it with beans?

-Right.

-I'll have it without beans.

-Right.

-Right.

-Lieutenant, what are
you doing here?

-Uh, just ordering some chili.

-Would you excuse us, please?

Sir, uh, didn't you get
my report on the

Jarvis Goodland statement?

-Yeah.

I found that very interesting.

Very interesting.

That gun he gave you?

Checked out OK with
ballistics, huh?

-Sure.

Of course.

Sir, uh, he's cracked
the case for us.

I have a search warrant
and two units right

here, ready to go.

If we turn Catherine
Goodland's place

upside down, I--

I--

I guarantee you we'll find
that murder weapon.

We'll find it.

-You really think so?

-Well, unless she's already
gotten rid of it.

-Tell you what.

You go ahead.

Go ahead on your own.

You find anything,
you let me know.

-Well, sir, if y-- if you don't
mind my taking charge

for a moment.

-Not at all.

-Thank you, sir.

-Good luck to you.

-Charlie, pull out.

-Who's that?

-Wilson?

Oh, very nice fellow.

Been a big help to
me on this case.

-You needn't have
bothered about a

search warrant, sergeant.

All you had to do was to ask.

The pistol is right here
where I always keep it.

-Would you take it out
for us, please?

-[sigh]

It isn't here.

-I can see that.

-Well, this can't be.

No.

I saw it last night, and I
haven't opened this drawer

since then.

What's this all about,
sergeant?

-The murder of your husband,
Mrs. Goodland.

Robert, bring in the troops.

[metal detector beeping]

[metal detector beeping]

-Jarvis, what do you want?

-I was concerned about
you, my dear.

Have you called your lawyer?

-Mrs. Goodland?

Oh, I'm glad to see
that you're here.

She may need someone.

Mrs. Goodland, do you
recognize this?

-Well, yes.

It was Tony's.

-And this?

-Tony's.

-And how about this?

The ransom bag.

-Well, it certainly
looks like it.

Good heavens, Cathy.

I--

-I don't get it.

-Well, it was under a pile of
Christmas decorations in the

storage closet.

Mrs. Goodland, I think it's my
duty to inform you that you--

-Now, just a moment.

In all fairness to the lady,
when I said that looked like

the ransom bag, that didn't
mean I could positively

identify it.

It's a very common type.

-But, sir, it answers the
description in every

particular.

-Nevertheless, we
must be sure.

-We!

-Sir, if there's anything else
here at all, I'll find it.

Grover, back upstairs.

Excuse me.

[metal detector beeping]

-Sergeant, for my money, that
pistol is long gone.

-Grover, you and I know that a
pro drops the gun immediately,

but we're dealing
with amateurs.

I'm guessing that-- that they're
gonna hide the gun

somewhere close by.

-Nothing?

-Nothing.

Nothing.

What about this area
over here?

Did you go over this?

-Yeah, we've been through it
twice already, sergeant.

-Well, go over it again.

Come on.

Let's go.

[metal detector beeping]

[faster beeping]

-What's that?

-Shoes with metal trees
in them, sergeant.

That's all.

That's what's making
the buzzing.

-OK.

Look, there's a linen closet
out in the hall.

Go check over there.

Wait a minute.

Did you open all of these?

MALE SPEAKER [OFFSCREEN]:
No, sir.

There was no point in it.

-Well, let's open them.

Hold on.

[chuckle]

Grover.

Crime lab.

Pronto.

Have ballistics check the pistol
against the two bullets

they've got, then call me.

Understand?

-Don't you want me to check
with Lieutenant Columbo?

-I'm in charge here, Grover.

If that's the murder weapon,
I'll take Mrs.

Goodland into custody.

Step on it.

[SOUND OF FLOWER POT
FALLING OVER]

-What the devil are
you doing here?

-Oh, just sort of killing
time, looking around.

You know, sir, I could--

I could turn into a real orchid

fancier since I met you.

-Will you tell me what
you're doing here?

-It's very serious, sir.

There's been a new development
in the case.

-Yes, I know.

They found the murder weapon
in Cathy's house.

I just came from there.

Things certainly look
bad for her.

-They certainly do, sir.

That's why I'm waiting here
for the lab report.

I'm hoping to straighten
a few things out.

-Look, it's 3 o'clock in the
morning, lieutenant.

Will you tell me what
you're doing here?

-I bumped over this empty
pot and displaced some

of this soil here.

I'm sorry about the mess, sir.

I'll see to it that it
gets cleaned up.

-Look, forget that.

Would you tell me
why you're here?

-To tell you the truth,
sir, I didn't

expect you back so soon.

Oh, I don't want
to forget this.

You have a real green
thumb, sir.

-I what?

-This African violet of my
wife's, you know there's

actually a flower growing
out of there?

Now, I don't know what you
did, but whatever it was,

that's a miracle.

-Lieutenant, it's been a trying
evening, and I'm quite

distressed.

Now, would you please take your
African violet and get

out of here?

[sound of car engine]

-Wait a minute.

I hear something.

That could be the man
I'm waiting for.

Grover?

Grover, is that you?

-Lieutenant, I don't
understand.

I was halfway downtown with
Mrs. Goodland when we were

ordered back here.

-I'm sorry, sergeant.

I didn't mean to run you
around town like that.

Mrs. Goodland, how are you?

You must be exhausted.

Would you like to sit down?

-No.

No, I'll stand.

Thank you.

-Um, here, let me
get you a chair.

You'll be more comfortable.

I know you've been
up all night.

-Well, I think there will be
plenty of time to rest in

jail, don't you?

-Sergeant, has this lady
actually been arrested?

-Well, I, uh, sir, I phoned my
report into Captain Richey.

He was quite complimentary.

She'll be charged
as soon as we--

-No, sergeant.

No.

Mrs. Goodland, you--

-Damn it, Columbo.

What's this all about?

-Well, you see, sir, I'm waiting
here for some things

from headquarters.

And if you'll all just bear
with me for a moment--

-What sort of things?

GROVER [OFFSCREEN]:
Lieutenant?

Lieutenant Columbo?

-Oh.

-Oh.

Here you are, lieutenant.

-Thank you, Grover.

Thank you very much.

-Yeah.

-Excuse me for just a moment.

Yes.

I have some bullets here.

This one is from the
wrecked car.

A 32-caliber proven by
ballistics to have been fired

from the murder weapon.

This one is from the body of the
victim, also 32-caliber,

and proven by ballistics to have
been fired from the same

weapon as the first bullet.

-We know all about that.

Tell him, young man.

-Uh, both.

Both of those came from the
gun that was found in her

house, and, uh, Sergeant Grover
said they confirmed it

as the murder weapon.

-Right.

That's quite right.

Sergeant, I don't want you to
feel badly, because without

you, I'd never have
gotten this idea.

I mean, those technical things
that you're so good at.

You see, I've never used a
metal detector before.

That's why it took me
nearly an hour.

But you know, these things
really work.

Amazing.

You see that?

-What is it?

-A third bullet.

Also a 32-caliber, and also
proven by ballistics to have

been fired by the same
weapon that fired

the first two bullets.

Mr. Goodland, I just don't
know how you're going to

explain this.

-But why should I have to--

-That's right.

That's right, sir.

That's what I was doing over
there a little while ago.

I found this third bullet
buried here in

this pile of dirt.

I guess it was one of those
bullets that you fired at that

guy that broke in here
about a year ago.

You said you only hit dirt.

I don't know how you're going to
explain, sir, how this same

gun that fired this bullet in
the dirt ended up tonight in

Mrs. Goodland's dressing room.

Sergeant, would you take Mr.
Goodland downtown, please?

-Mr. Jarvis Goodland, it is
my duty to inform you that

anything you-- you might, uh--

this way, sir.

Mrs. Goodland, would you allow
me to drive you home?

-Thank you, lieutenant.

-Oh.

One moment.

If I forget this, my
wife will kill me.

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