All language subtitles for Columbo S01E09 Blueprint for Murder 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DD+2 0 H 264-playWEB (1)_track3_[eng]

[tires screeching and honking]

[typewriter keys]

-Mr. Williamson.

-Where is he?

-He's not in.

-He's there, isn't he?

-No.

-I don't believe you, ma'am.

-You can't go in there.

Mr. Williamson!

It's incredible, isn't it?

-It is.

Williamson City, that's
very impressive.

-Does it make you feel proud?

-Hmph.

[yelling]

-Mr. Williamson!

Mr. Williamson.

-I said, where is he?

-At the construction site.

-[grunt]

-Where's Markham?

-He's upstairs.

-Markham up there?

-Who?

BO WILLIAMSON [OFFSCREEN]:
Markham.

Markham.

-He's not up here.

I think he's over
on the bridge.

Hey, Mr. Markham?

Mr. Markham?

-I saw him five minutes
ago, when he came in.

What are you yelling about?

Why do people have to scream?

Thank you.

Thank you.

-Boy, that guy's sure
in a hurry.

-Yes, he is.

-You wanted to talk about the
dedication later, Mr. Markham?

-No, Carl.

I want to talk about
it right now.

What time is it scheduled
to start?

CARL [OFFSCREEN]: 9 o'clock
in the morning, sir.

-And you've got the
seats facing east?

-East?

Oh, is that east?

Oh yeah.

That's east.

-Now, we don't want the
people looking into

the sun, do we, Carl?

-No, sir.

I'll rearrange the seats,
Mr. Markham.

-Thank you, Carl.

Bo, what a pleasant surprise.

Didn't know you were here.

BO WILLIAMSON [OFFSCREEN]:
What?

ELLIOT MARKHAM [OFFSCREEN]:
When did you get back?

-Just in time, it looks like.

-What's the matter?

-Williamson City, that's
what's the matter.

-Oh, you spoke to your wife?

-No, I didn't speak
to my wife.

I just got back from eight
weeks in Europe.

And I find she's off at some
phony health farm.

-Well, maybe I better
explain--

-You don't have to
explain anything.

You know what else I found?

A bunch of letters between you
and her, and about a mile high

stack of blueprints.

-Bo, it's the most
revolutionary

concept I ever had.

Bo, you know, Jennifer and I
assumed you'd be delighted.

-Delighted?

Let me tell you, nobody throws
a lasso around my money

without my consent.

And that includes my wife.

And you had better believe it.

-Well, you were in Europe.

There's no way to get
in touch with you.

-You could have waited.

-We were positive you'd agree.

-Agree?

Heh, forget it, boy.

The joyride is over.

-Well, but the machinery has
already been set in motion.

-Well, then you unset it.

And I'll tell you
something else.

Don't ever speak to my
wife or me again.

She's too young to recognize a
con man when she sees one.

-Can I suggest you consider
what you're saying?

You're not talking to one
of your underlings now.

-Oh, listen, I know exactly
who I'm talking to.

-Bo, Bo, listen, listen.

This project can give
you immortality.

As long as that city stands,
your-- your name will be

remembered.

-Name?

I'm going to tell you something,
Jackson boy.

My wallet is a lot more
important to me than my name.

-You really are a philistine,
aren't you?

-What?

-All you care about is money.

You wouldn't recognize art
if you fell over it.

We have a chance to do something
extraordinary here,

and you're trying to ruin it.

-That's right, right, right!

And if you're on some kind of an
ego trip, you find somebody

else to pay for it.

-Bo, I have a thought.

Would you commission me to
design your burial vault?

-Hmm.

That would be about
your speed, yeah.

You really would like to see
me dead, wouldn't you?

Well, I'll tell you something.

It wouldn't count for much.

-Well, maybe your wife will
have other ideas.

-No, no.

It don't mean a thing.

Because, you see, when
I die, all of my

money goes into trust.

Oh, Jennifer will get her
share every year.

You can count on that.

But there won't be any cash
to build cities with.

Oh, and if you're thinking
of any uglies, forget it.

[music playing]

-Mr. Markham, Bo Williamson
was--

-Get his wife on the
phone right away.

She's in Palm Springs
at some health farm.

-Golden Dunes Retreat?

-That's the one.

Get her.

-She is there, isn't she?

I see.

Well, when will she
be available?

All right, thank you.

-Williamson do that?

-Yes, sir.

He just barged right in.

And when he saw it--

-All right.

Never mind.

Did you reach Jennifer?

-They wouldn't put the
call through to her.

The guests aren't allowed
to have telephones.

-Call her back.

It's important.

-I'm sorry.

But they said the guests can't
make or receive calls during

their stay.

-I see.

Then she's virtually
incommunicado.

-No telegrams, no outside
visitors.

Just wheat germ and push ups.

-When does she get reprieved?

-Oh, she'll be back in time for
the dedication ceremonies.

-Thanks, Ms. Sherman.

I think I love you.

-I needed that.

-Whoa-ho-ho, beautiful,
beautiful.

[SHOUTING] Hey, Freddy!

That is absolutely beautiful.

Bring that beauty back here.

What have you been doing
to him, anyway?

-He's improved a lot since
you've been gone, Mr.

Williamson.

-Oh, I can see that.

I can see that.

-Thank you, sir.

-Listen, you keep working him
like that, I'll be back in a

few days, check him out.

-I'll take them back to the
barn, and cool him off.

-You better.

You better.

Hey, hey!

Ha!

Gee.

[laughs]

Hey yeah, man.

Beautiful!

Don't believe it.

Hey, cool him out easy!

Ah.

[sigh]

[grunting]

[radio playing country music]

ELLIOT MARKHAM [OFFSCREEN]:
Hello, Bo.

Surprised?

-What are you doing in my car?

-Waiting for you.

-Get yourself killed that way.

-Or the reverse.

Get out.

Over there.

[classical music playing]

[doorbell]

[classical music playing]

[applause]

-That's, yeah.

Thank you.

Sit down, please.

Thank you very much.

Well, as usual I feel like
an expectant father.

But contrary to the norm, each
one seems to get more

difficult for me.

I'm just grateful I have so
many wonderful friends.

You know, I'd like to also
take this opportunity--

-Hey, where are you going?

-Over there.

-No one's allowed in there.

-What do you mean no
one's allowed?

I see 30 people down there.

-No one's allowed in there
without an invitation.

Do you have an invitation?

-No, I don't have
an invitation.

-That's what I'm trying
to tell you.

You have no invitation.

So, out.

-Actually, I'm a lieutenant
in the police.

My name is Columbo.

-Oh, Lieutenant?

-Yeah.

-Hmm.

-You know, when I came here, I'm
just coming here to look

for somebody.

-Who are you looking
for, Lieutenant?

-A Mrs. Williamson.

-Well, I'll tell you,
Lieutenant, a

lot of people here.

Why don't you wander around?

Maybe you'll bump into her.

-I see.

Thank you very much.

-OK.

-Bye.

MALE SPEAKER [OFFSCREEN]:
Could you get me some

cocktails in this building?

MALE SPEAKER [OFFSCREEN]: Yes.

ELLIOT MARKHAM [OFFSCREEN]:
You've heard this before.

But you understand, it's a
fantastic building, really.

Yes, she is to be
32 stories high.

It's revolutionary in concept,
really, because it won't be

offices so much as living
modules, almost cocoons where

a man can coordinate his, uh,
his activities outside the

context of mere business.

In fact, if he chooses, it can
become virtually a second

home, a kind of a, a remarkable
place of mobility

and freedom.

I don't know how the
wives will feel

about that, of course.

But in any case, these units
will be for sale, for all

those who qualify.

You were asking about
the price earlier.

We've been, well, we haven't
quite figured it out.

We've been dickering
around somewhere

between $30,000 and $35,000--

-Excuse me.

---$36,000--

-Excuse me.

---per unit, of course.

Something you want?

-Well, I didn't mean to,
uh, interrupt like

this and barge in.

But I'm looking for
a Mrs. Williamson.

-I'm Mrs. Williamson.

-Mrs. Bo Williamson?

-That's right.

-And who might you be?

-Uh, Lt.

Columbo.

You called the police.

-I did?

-Well, that's what
they told me.

-Lieutenant, I may not be the
brightest lady in the world.

But I do know whether I made
a phone call or not.

-Obviously some kind
of mix up.

-Well, I'd like to get this
thing straightened out.

Uh, can anybody tell me where
Mr. Williamson is?

-I don't know.

-You mean he's missing?

-Well, to be absent is not
necessarily to be missing,

Lieutenant.

I assume you understand
the distinction.

-It's just that he's out
of town on business.

And really, Lieutenant, I
didn't call the police.

-Well, this is very,
very weird.

Because they told me that they
got a call from a Mrs.

Williamson.

And she said that her husband
was missing, and he

might even be dead.

JENNIFER WILLIAMSON [OFFSCREEN]:
Oh, that's

ridiculous.

Wait a minute.

Goldie.

-Who's Goldie?

-My husband's first wife.

She must have called you.

-Well, why would she do that?

-I guess because Bo's
been out of the

country for eight weeks.

And he came back, on business,
for a day, and I

suppose left again.

And she gets a little tense when
the alimony checks are

late.

-But that's, that's hardly a
reason to call the police.

-Well, Goldie's a little
possessive.

Is that the word?

They've been divorced
a long time.

But, uh, she still can't
give up the ghost.

-Mr. Williamson is
a globe trotter.

Sometimes he takes off at a
moment's notice, doesn't even

tell Jennifer.

-No kidding, just--

-Yeah, yeah.

Well, I'm sure he'll show
up in a few weeks.

If you'll, you'll excuse us, if
you've covered everything.

-Uh, say, did you build this?

-No, no.

One of my staff did that.

-Oh.

-Yeah.

Come on.

You want some?

-Yes.

-Excuse me, please.

-Excuse me.

Excuse me, just--

-A little on the
slow side here.

-Forgive me a moment.

I just wanted to stop
by and tell you

that's a terrific building.

I mean it.

I know a lot of people like
the old fashioned stuff.

But I figure you've got
to keep an open mind.

-You have a new fan.

-Yes.

-Oh, absolutely.

It's just marvelous.

Uh, tell me, how did
you two meet?

-Oh, Mr. Markham designed
a summer house for us.

It's incredible.

Really, it's a work of genius.

-Jennifer tends to get carried
away, Lieutenant.

-But you are a genius.

And when everyone sees your
plans for Williamson City,

you'll be buried
in commissions.

-What is Williamson City?

-Now, I'm superstitious,
darling.

Let's not talk about our project
'til it's hatched.

You'll have to excuse
us, Lieutenant.

One of the obligations of the
trade, have to mingle.

-Oh, sure.

Listen, uh, sorry
to bother you.

ELLIOT MARKHAM [OFFSCREEN]:
No bother at all.

-Oh, and don't worry about
my husband, Lieutenant.

Believe me, he's very
much alive.

-He's dead, I tell you.

I can feel it in my spine.

A little lower, honey.

Ouch, that's it.

I know more about Bo Williamson
then that little

lady will learn in a lifetime.

-Yeah, but you--

-Lover, take my word for it.

He has shuffled off this
vale of tears.

-Well, how do you know that?

-Because he always calls me
before he leaves town.

And this time he didn't.

-Yeah, but if he didn't
call you, how do you

know he left town?

-I spoke with the child bride.

-You mean Mrs. Williamson?

-The current Mrs. Williamson.

I call her the next ex.

Oh, don't get me wrong, lover.

She's half my age and
twice as pretty.

But I like her.

[laughing]

Bo reached the point
where he thought he

needed a younger woman.

And she's better than most.

-I've got to say this for you.

You've got a pretty
healthy attitude.

-I can afford it.

He pays, you know.

I tell you, lover, if gold lame
was legal tender, I'd

rule the world.

That's enough for today, Miko.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Say goodbye to the Lieutenant.

-[speaking japanese].

Sayonara.

-Sayonara.

Si.

She's a lovely girl.

-She is a lovely girl.

-Very polite.

I don't know what she said, but
it sounded like she liked

me.

-[laughs]

Uh.

Oh, Lieutenant, would you
like to turn around?

I don't want to corrupt you.

OK, you can turn around now.

-Oh, fine.

Uh, the point is this,
Mrs. Williamson.

-My friends call me Goldie.

And since I'm standing here
practically naked with you,

you better be my friend.

-Would you mind repeating
that last sentence?

I don't think I quite
understood.

-[laughs]

I said, since I'm standing here
practically naked with

you, you better be my friend.

And my friends call me Goldie.

-Oh, I see.

Well, Goldie, uh, let
me ask you this.

Don't you think it's possible
that your ex-husband could

have slipped up and left town
without calling you?

-No way.

He never forgets.

-Uh, does Mrs. Williamson
know this?

-Why ruin a lovely
relationship?

-You mean to tell me that your
ex-husband is closer to you

than he is to his
current wife?

-Lieutenant, we were married
for 22 years.

We never had any children.

So we spent a lot of time
getting to know one another.

Jennifer gives him youth.

For the rest he comes to me.

Now even if he leaves town for
just a few days, he always

lets me know, every time.

[phone ringing]

-Yeah?

It's for you.

-Oh, thank you very much.

Hello?

Yes.

Oh, all right, I'll
be right down.

Thank you.

They found Bo Williamson's
car.

-You see?

What did I tell you?

-At the airport.

-Now, I'm going to go down
and check it out.

But it really looks
like he left town.

[country music playing in car]

[country music playing in car]

[CLASSICAL MUSIC
PLAYING IN CAR]

-Honey, I've got gold
plated instincts.

And I trust them.

I am worried sick.

-But his clothes are gone, his
passport, his suitcase.

And his car is at the airport.

What more proof do you need?

-Excuse me?

Uh, did I hear you say that
he took his passport?

-Well, it isn't here.

And he spends a lot
of time in Europe.

-Oh, yes, that's right.

Globe trotter, that's what
Mr. Markham called him.

Say, I noticed that he likes
Country and Western music.

-Does a bear like honey?

-I've tried to broaden
his tastes a little.

But it's impossible.

That noise is all
he listens to.

-Now, tell me something.

Uh, do you ever drive his car?

-Me?

No.

I have my own.

-What's all this guff about cars
and music and passports?

I feel like the original voice
in the wilderness.

Don't you two understand?

Bo's gone.

And nobody gives a hoot.

-Who's Dr. Moss?

-[sigh]

-What?

-I see in your husband's
appointment book, Dr. Moss,

10:45, the 11th of the month.

That's tomorrow.

-You see.

He'd never leave town if he had
an appointment with his

heart specialist.

-Oh, he had a bad
ticker, did he?

-He has a pacemaker.

And his heart works perfectly.

The fact that he's missing the
appointment proves it's

unimportant.

-Hey, look at this.

Blueprints.

What's he doing?

Building a bigger house?

-Those are the preliminary plans
for Williamson City.

-Williamson City?

-Williamson City,
I remember that.

Why, you mentioned that down
at the construction site.

What is that exactly?

-It's an entire community--

churches, schools, everything
planned from fireplugs to

skyscrapers.

-And Mr. Markham, did
he design that?

-That's right.

-I can't imagine Bo springing
hard cash for

something like that.

-Well, there may be
some things about

him you don't know.

It's possible he's a bit
more complicated

than you think, Goldie.

The day he came back,
he saw those plans.

And Elliot said he loved them.

-Oh, then Mr. Markham,
saw your husband

before he left town?

-Mm-hmm.

They had a meeting the
day he came back.

And Elliot told me
all about it.

[music playing]

-Are you a policeman?

-Uh, yes, ma'am, uh.

My name is Lt.

Columbo, uh.

Excuse me for just one moment.

I was out at the construction
site.

I don't know if you remember
me or not.

-Well, is something wrong?

-Oh no, no, no.

No, nothing's wrong.

No, I wanted to speak
to Mr. Markham.

Is he in there?

-I'm sorry, Lieutenant.

He isn't in.

-Oh.

Well, maybe I could speak
to him at home?

-He only goes there to sleep.

If you want him, you'll find him
at the university, giving

a lecture to his students.

-Oh, really?

Oh, you mean he teaches,
too, huh?

-Mr. Markham feels he
has a responsibility

to share his knowledge.

-Lord, I'll tell
you something.

It's a wonder the man finds
all the time, right?

-Pure energy, Lieutenant.

He's a dynamo.

A man like that throws off
sparks and never slows down.

Most of us can't keep
up with him.

But we love it, naturally.

I mean, everyone likes to feel
that he's participating in

something important.

He's an unusual man.

Tonight's lecture, for
instance, on Egyptian

architecture, pyramids and
tombs, things like that.

He gave up his dinner hour
to verify a date.

Not, not the year, mind
you, the date.

He's--

Lieutenant?

Lieutenant?

Lieutenant.

-Is this where he works?

-Yes, it is.

-Just wonderful.

Marvelous office.

-Yes, it is.

-Spacious.

-Yes, it is.

-Conference room?

MS. SHERMAN [OFFSCREEN]:
Yes, it is.

-Very handy, isn't it?

-Yes, it is.

-Wonderful, I mean everything--
the decor, the

paneling, the windows--

-I'm glad you like
it, Lieutenant.

But really, Mr. Markham
doesn't permit

anyone in his office--

-I see he likes music.

-Yes.

-Has it right here in
the office, huh?

-Yes, he does.

Plays it while he's designing.

-Classical stuff?

-Uh huh.

-My favorite.

Just love it.

[classical music playing]

[classical music playing]

-Really, Lieutenant,
it's getting late.

And I have to meet someone
for dinner.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to hold
you up like that.

Forgive me.

It's just when I start hearing
this stuff, I could just

listen for hours.

I'm sorry.

-Yes.

Well, if there's nothing else?

-No, I don't think there's
anything else.

Thank you very much.

Good night.

-Good night.

-What happened here?

-An accident.

-Oh.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Isn't that something?

Williamson City.

-If you ask me, he doesn't
deserve it.

-Who is that?

-Bo Williamson.

I know I shouldn't be
talking about this.

But it's a shame Mr.
Markham has to work

for a man like that.

-You mean Mr. Williamson
did this?

-Yes, he just barged right in
here the other day, and

smashed it all to smithereens.

-I guess he didn't
like it, huh?

-People like that don't
know what they like.

All they care about
is what it costs.

-Too expensive, huh?

-Mr. Markham has a saying--

you can't put a price
tag on genius.

-Now these are built over the
course of a generation by an

endless supply of slave labor.

Oddly enough, the pharaohs of
the time, much like ourselves,

are greatly concerned
with the crime rate.

The tombs were particularly
vulnerable.

Because the Egyptians buried
vast caches of treasure along

with their dead royalty.

So aside from being visually
impressive with their bulk and

simplicity, the tombs are also
a marvel of, of engineering

skills, built to withstand
the onslaught of thieves.

By the way, it's said that
some of the engineers who

built the pyramids were sealed
up in their own creations to

protect the integrity
of the tomb.

Fortunately, today's architects
are spared that

particular indignity.

[soft laughter]

-Lights, please.

Next week we'll move rapidly
into the Baroque Period, and

that'll lead more rapidly
into our first exam.

Now, those of you with
failing grades will

be permanently entombed.

[laughter]

-At least as far as this
class is concerned.

Thank you.

[soft chatter]

[soft chatter]

-I didn't know you had an
interest in scholarly

pursuits, Lieutenant.

-Well, actually, I,
I just came by to

ask you a few questions.

Say, that stuff about burying
those Egyptians, is that true?

-According to some experts.

-Gee, I find that interesting.

I mean, particularly for a
fellow in my line of work.

-Why?

-Well, you know, the idea of
burying a body in a place

where you can't find it, if I
ever murdered anybody, uh,

that's what I would do.

-Well, not many people have
access to the pyramids,

Lieutenant.

-Oh, you wouldn't put them
in the pyramids today.

No, today you'd have to find
another place, like, uh, gee,

I don't know, um.

You'd have to, uh--

-Like the, uh, foundation
of a building?

-You know, now that you mention
it, that would be a

terrific place.

I mean, you put a body under a
building, you wouldn't find it

for 100 years.

-I'll keep that in
mind, Lieutenant,

in case I kill somebody.

Now, uh, if you'll get
to your questions, I

haven't had any dinner.

-Gee, you know, neither have
I. Uh, I can offer you some

raisins if--

-No, no thank you.

-I'll tell you why
I came by, uh.

I

-Would you get that
board for me?

-Oh, certainly.

Uh.

Yeah.

I came by because I'm still
looking into the disappearance

of this, uh, Bo Williamson
fellow.

-Disappearance?

So Goldie's got you convinced,
now, hmm?

-No, no.

Not necessarily.

Oh, by the way, I stopped by
your office, because I wanted

to talk to you.

I couldn't help noticing
that smashed up model

of Williamson City.

-What about it?

-Nothing, I was just wondering
how it got broken.

-Why, why do I have the feeling
that you already know

the answer to that question?

-Well, your secretary did say
something about Mr. Williamson

coming in there.

And she said he was
kind of mad.

And he kind of threw
things around.

-There's a perfectly simple
explanation, Lieutenant.

Bo was angry, and
for good reason.

We went ahead on the project
without his permission.

It was very undiplomatic
of us.

-I see.

Us?

Oh, you mean you and his wife?

-Yes, well, Jennifer is an,
an admirer of my work.

-Oh yeah.

Yeah, she told me that.

Uh.

Uh.

Gee, I got a problem.

-No, I will.

I'll get it.

I'll get it.

-Thank you.

-In any event, Bo came
back from his trip.

And he, uh, saw the plans.

It took him by surprise.

Uh, Bo is a volatile Texan.

And when he gets angry,
uh, well, it shows.

Fortunately, when I explained
the project

to him, he was delighted.

-I see.

Happy ending, huh?

-Yeah.

-But, uh, won't his
disappearance interfere with

your plans to move ahead?

-Are we really back to that?

Lieutenant, all the evidence
indicates that he simply left

the country.

-Well, we did find his
car at the airport.

-There you are.

That should prove it.

-It should, yeah.

But you know, we checked
out every flight list.

And there wasn't one
Williamson on it.

-Lieutenant, Bo is a--

he's a high powered tycoon.

He's got, uh, exotic business
interests all over the world.

Now, how is it just possible,
for reasons not known to us,

that he might, occasionally,
fly under a different name.

-Yes.

That is possible.

-Then I wouldn't
worry about it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, a very
hungry architect would

like to get himself
some dinner.

-Yeah.

You know, it's a funny
thing about that car.

Car's got a tape
machine in it.

And the glove compartment
is full of cassettes.

Every one of them is Country
and Western music.

That's all.

And his wife tells me
this man doesn't

listen to anything else.

-Nothing unusual about that.

-No, except the radio dial was
set at 52, classical station.

Turned it on, classical music.

-I see.

-You want a half a candy bar?

-No.

-Anyway, it seems that whoever
was driving that car must have

been listening to
classical music.

It's confusing.

-I'm sure you'll find an
answer, Lieutenant.

-I'm certainly going to try.

Anyway, thanks for your time.

Oh, uh, as for your designs,
Mr. Williamson did give you

his approval, didn't he?

-I already told you,
Lieutenant.

As soon as he got over
his anger he

gave me his full support.

-Right.

Thanks very much.

You know, that's some
coincidence.

-What is?

-That music thing, you're a
great classical music fan

yourself, aren't you?

I saw your record collection
down in the office.

-Guilty, Lieutenant.

I like classical music, along
with a few hundred thousand

other people in this city.

-Me too.

I like it myself.

Enjoy your meal.

[music playing]

-Yeah, yeah.

I know him.

He's that Texas guy.

What's his name?

Uh--

-His name is Williamson.

He's a very close friend
of Mr. Markham's.

-Friend, huh?

-Well, weren't they friends?

-Not the last time I've
seen that guy.

Last time I saw that guy he
looked like he was ready to

drop a two by four on
Mr. Markham's neck.

-No kidding.

Hey, when was that?

-Hey, look, Lieutenant,
I've got a building

to put up, all right?

I'll see you around.

-Yeah, OK.

I mean, I don't want to
interfere with your work.

But, look, there's
one other thing.

-Hey, look, talk to Mr.
Markham, will you?

I'm just in charge of the nuts
and bolts around here.

-Well, then you know about
those columns.

-Not columns, piles.

-Oh, piles.

Oh, that's what they're
called, huh?

-Yeah, that's what
they're called.

-Well, tell me about them.

-Well, I'll tell you.

First we sink a hollow steel
cylinder in the ground.

Then we fill it with cement.

And when it hardens,
we've got a pile.

-That's what a pile is, huh?

-That's right.

Well, that's interesting.

Uh, what do you do?

You keep a record when you
put them in the ground?

-Have to.

And which one's first.

-You mean you could tell me
exactly what day each one of

these piles was sunk?

-The day, the time, how long
it took, and how many men I

had on the job.

-Lieutenant, still obsessed
with pyramids?

-Well, it must have been that
lecture, Mr. Markham.

I never really noticed
buildings before.

But I'm interested
in them now.

-Carl, you've got to check on
those HVAC estimates for me.

-Yes, sir.

I'll see you around,
Lieutenant.

-Right.

-Hey, tell me the truth,
Lieutenant.

Are you interested in buildings
or buildings?

-What do you mean?

-Well, let's, let's look
at your itinerary.

You showed up at my office,
my lecture, now at my

construction site.

-Well, actually I just happened
to have some spare

time, uh,

-Perhaps you should spent
your time a little more

productively.

You're supposed to be
tracking down Bo

Williamson, aren't you?

Now surely you don't think
he's here, do you?

-Well, no.

I don't see how he could be.

-Well, if you'll forgive me,
I"ll go back to my work.

-Certainly.

-I, uh, I assume I can look
forward to another visit in

the near future?

-Well, if anything interesting
turns up, I'll surely get in

touch with you.

-I'm sure you will.

-Say, do you have the time?

I think my watch is
out of order.

-It's, uh, 10:30.

-I don't want to be late.

I've got an appointment
at the doctor.

Doctor, really, I never intended
to have an examina--

-Shh!

Just a moment.

Blood pressure is a bit low.

-Well, that's normal for me.

Look, doctor, really--

-I know.

You came here to ask
me questions.

But a check up never hurts.

Now, do you get enough
exercise?

-Well, I, uh, I walk a bit.

Doctor, listen, I just
had a police visit.

-Can't have too many,
Lieutenant.

The human machine is a
delicate instrument.

There we go.

Now, you were saying?

-Yeah, this is what
I want to know.

Look, it's 11:20.

Mr. Williamson hasn't shown
up for his appointment.

-Mm-hmm.

-Now is this just another
routine check up?

-When you have a heart condition
that needs a

pacemaker, no visit
is routine.

Now you can roll down
your sleeve.

-Oh, yeah.

No, what I mean is this-- was
this particular appointment

any more or any less important
than the others?

-Well, let me put
it this way--

if Bo Williamson doesn't
get to me, or any other

specialist, he's running a grave
risk with his health.

-Well, why is that?

-This is a pacemaker.

-You mean it's that big?

-It runs on miniature
energy cells.

-Oh, that's sort of like
an electric watch.

-Exactly.

It regulates a heart
that can't keep a

steady beat of its own.

Now every year or so, these
energy cells have to be

replaced, or the pacemaker
becomes erratic, causing the

heart to malfunction.

-In other words,
you could die.

-Put simply, yes.

-Is this a big operation?

-No.

But it is a surgical
procedure.

-Could another doctor besides
yourself perform it?

-Naturally.

But knowing Bo Williamson, I
seriously doubt if he'd put

himself in the hands of another
stranger, no matter

how competent.

-Hmm.

I see.

All right, Doc.

Listen, I want to thank you very
much for the time, and

for the check up.

-Well, it wasn't much
of a check up.

But you're welcome.

Now, if you locate Mr.
Williamson, tell him to

contact me immediately.

-All right.

I will.

I'll do that.

-Are you looking
for something?

-Uh, do you have a lighter?

-You won't find one
here, Lieutenant.

And let me give you some
free medical advice--

stop smoking those things.

-Well, I, I've been trying.

-Trying isn't good enough.

Remember, I deal
in pacemakers.

-All right.

Mmm.

GOLDIE WILLIAMSON [OFFSCREEN]:
Well, lover, you satisfied?

-Goldie?

What are you doing here?

-Same thing you are,
checking up on Bo.

He didn't show up, did he?

-No.

-Columbo, the man is dead.

Now he would never miss an
appointment with a doctor.

He was always very nervous
about his health.

-Now that may be.

But there's no proof.

There's nothing solid
to go on, yet.

-Columbo, what does it take to
convince you that I'm right?

His body?

-[deep breath]

Please slow down.

You're running me ragged.

-Well, that's the object
of the game.

JENNIFER WILLIAMSON [OFFSCREEN]:
Isn't there

anything you do badly?

-Yes, lose.

-I don't believe it.

Have you ever lost?

-Come on, now.

You're doing beautifully.

-It's just that I don't get
my arm back in time.

-All right, ready or
not, I'm serving.

-Oh!

That's embarrassing.

-Listen, your problem is you're
getting your racket

back a little late.

Throw me a ball.

-Can't.

We hit them all out.

ELLIOT MARKHAM [OFFSCREEN]:
Oh, I'll get it.

-No, let me.

I'm getting embarrassed
to face you.

-[chuckle]

You know, in Cannes, they have
trained dogs that retrieve

tennis balls.

I'll tell Bo somebody's
got something on him.

JENNIFER WILLIAMSON [OFFSCREEN]:
Elliot!

[music playing]

-What's the matter?

-[weeping]

-Jennifer, what's the matter?

-It's Bo's hat.

[music playing]

-A battered, blood stained
hat by itself

means next to nothing.

-Well, it looks kind
of strange,

though, don't you think?

-We don't even know if
he was wearing a

hat, if he was killed.

-We don't.

But the question is, where
did it come from?

-[sigh]

When will the police
lab have a report?

-Pretty soon.

I told them to rush it.

JENNIFER WILLIAMSON [OFFSCREEN]:
I got them.

-Good.

-What did you ask her to get?

His army dog tags?

-Yes.

-You want a drink, Lieutenant?

-No.

Thanks, anyhow.

What I could really
use is a cigar.

-Beg your pardon?

-Here they are, Lieutenant.

I finally found them
in the attic.

But why you want them,
I don't know.

-You see, army dog tags
usually have a

blood type on them.

Yeah, here it is, B positive.

Sure glad he saved these.

A lot of guys usually don't.

-I still think this is an
exercise in futility.

We don't even know
if it's his hat.

-Well, it has to be.

It wasn't new.

But he had a lot
of them around.

And the brim was fixed just
the way he always wore it.

-Besides, it was custom made.

So the label would be easy
enough to check on.

[phone ringing]

-Yes?

Just a moment.

Lieutenant, it's for you.

-Oh.

Thank you.

Hello?

Uh huh, uh huh.

Yeah, that's what I figured.

Thank you.

Blood type B positive.

It's the same as
your husband's.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

-Then something did
happen to him.

He is dead.

-Now, Jennifer, you're jumping
to conclusions.

Now don't be hysterical.

Lieutenant, tell her that
blood on a hat doesn't

necessarily mean
that Bo's dead.

-Well, that's true.

It doesn't.

But I say we have a whole
new ballgame.

[classical music playing]

-Sorry, strict orders he doesn't
want to be bothered.

-He's playing that music
awfully loud.

Bad mood?

[classical music playing]

-He doesn't have bad moods.

Let's just say he's
been happier.

-Ms. Sherman!

Ms. Sherman?

-Yes, sir?

-Get Mrs. Williamson, please.

-Yes, sir.

[classical music playing]

[buzzer]

-Yes?

MS. SHERMAN [OFFSCREEN]: Mrs.
Williamson is on the line.

JENNIFER WILLIAMSON [OFFSCREEN]:
Hello?

-Hello, Jennifer.

How are you?

Feeling any better?

JENNIFER WILLIAMSON
[OFFSCREEN]: I'm

not sure how I feel.

I just keep thinking
about that hat.

-Well, that's, that's what
I called you about.

You know, I may, I may have
an explanation for you.

JENNIFER WILLIAMSON
[OFFSCREEN]: What?

-Well, I've got to check
on a few things

before I tell you anything.

You think you can arrange to
have Bo's will sent over?

JENNIFER WILLIAMSON [OFFSCREEN]:
Bo's will?

What on earth for?

-Just trust me.

GOLDIE WILLIAMSON [OFFSCREEN]:
Get out of there.

-Look, that won't
help, Goldie.

I've already seen them.

-You said you wanted to talk.

And suddenly I find you poking
around in my closet.

Now you've got no right.

-Two of Bo's old hats left
over from the old days.

I've got a hunch there were
three on that shelf.

-I don't know what you're
talking about.

-Oh don't you?

Well, you planted that hat.

You manufactured the whole
show just to back up your

story that Bo's dead.

-[laughs]

You're reaching, Mister.

-[chuckle]

-Now, what's that?

-It's Bo's will.

It's an interesting document.

Shows why you're so eager
to prove he's dead.

-Mister, you're farther out
than your buildings.

-Now according to this, the
minute Bo Williamson's

officially dead you inherit
25% of his estate.

That's a lot of gold lame.

Much more you'll ever
see in alimony.

-Now you listen to me.

You're after me for
some reason.

And all I'm trying to do is to
point what's plain as the nose

on your face.

That will doesn't
prove a thing.

-Suppose we call Lt.

Columbo.

We'll leave it up to him.

-Oh, listen, I can save
yourself the trouble.

-Ah, the omnipresent
Constable.

-What are you doing here?

-Well, your maid let me in.

She told me you were up
here with Mr. Markham.

I hope I'm not interrupting
anything.

-How long were you
standing there?

-Oh, not very long.

I guess I did hear the tail end
of what you were saying.

-Well, then I guess you know
what kind of fertilizer this

boy is spreading around.

-Well, you know, actually Mr.
Markham, he's making pretty

good sense.

I mean, he'd almost
a detective.

That stuff about the will,
that's, uh, well, that's good

police work.

-Thank you, Lieutenant.

-I thought you were my friend.

-Goldie, I am your friend.

And because I'm your
friend, I'd like to

give you some advice.

I think it would do you a lot of
good if you told the truth.

-I am telling the truth.

-Are you?

You see, I just spoke to that
nice Japanese girl that gives

you the massages.

-Miko?

-And we had a little trouble
understanding each other.

But we finally made it.

And she told me that she noticed
the bandaged cut on

the back of your leg
this morning.

And it wasn't there yesterday.

-Pure coincidence.

I cut myself shaving.

-I also went down to the Bureau
of Records, and dug up

your marriage license.

It turns out that you and Mr.
Williamson have the same blood

type, B positive.

-That's very good, Lieutenant.

Obviously she took one of her
husband's old hats, added some

blood from a self-inflicted
wound, and left it near the

tennis court.

Anything to make it look as
if Bo had been murdered.

-What about it, ma'am?

Oh, and another thing.

The lab tells me that the blood
is only 24 hours old.

-All right, all right,
I did it.

I planted the hat.

I was just trying to get
everybody off the dime.

I guess I'm in trouble, huh?

Falsifying evidence?

-Nah, there's no
real harm done.

Surely she didn't
break any laws.

-Your help, I don't need.

-Well, like Mr. Markham says,
there was no harm done.

As far as I'm concerned,
I think everybody can

forget about it.

-Well, then I'll be going.

-Oh, Mr. Markham, may I borrow
that will for an hour or two?

-Well, I'm, I'm afraid
it isn't mine.

It belongs to Jennifer.

-Why don't I take
it back to her?

I'm sure driving it off will
take you out of your way.

-Yeah.

Suit yourself.

-Now let me ask you
this question.

Is this the first
pylon you sunk?

-Yeah, that's pile D3.

We did that the day
of the dedication.

You were here.

Remember, I saw you coming in.

-Well, what happens then?

You just dig a hole?

Then you just drop
the stuff in?

CARL [OFFSCREEN]: We usually
dig them the day before.

COLUMBO [OFFSCREEN]: I see.

Then you have this big hole
sitting there all night.

-It's not a safety hazard,
Lieutenant.

Don't worry about it.

-I see, uh huh.

[honking]

-Hey, that's Mr. Markham.

The lieutenant was looking
for you, Mr. Markham.

-I'm sure he was.

I see you have our
building records.

-Yes, sir.

But he wanted to take a look.

-Now listen, I didn't
think you'd mind.

-No, of course not.

I wouldn't want to dampen your
new interest in architecture.

All right, Carl, thanks.

Lieutenant, anybody ever
tell you you're very

much like an arachnid?

-A what?

-A tick.

They're quite common, but
excessively tenacious.

They hang on.

They let go only under
extreme prodding.

-Oh, I never heard of them.

-[laughs]

There it is.

-There's what?

Pile D3.

-What do you mean?

-Why don't you dig it up?

-What?

-Oh now, come on.

You know you wanted to.

-I don't know what you're
talking about.

-Oh, it's such a marvellous
place to hide a body.

Crew comes in, digs a hole.

The hole sits there
over night.

If I were a murderer,
hypothetically speaking, of

course, it would be
made to order.

Just drive up.

Dump the body.

The next morning, the
crew comes and fills

the hole with concrete.

Neat, clean, foolproof.

-Oh, now wait a minute.

If you were a murderer,
hypothetically, like you say,

you're not going to tell
this to the police.

-Oh, why not?

You're able to dig it up.

Besides, how do you
know I'm not a

victim of my own bravado?

-How much would it cost, I mean
to actually dig up pile

D3, just for the sake
of curiosity?

-Well, a great deal more than
your bank account, Lieutenant,

to say nothing of the permits,
assuming you got permission,

which is doubtful.

-Mmm.

Probably be a mess,
wouldn't it?

-That's a lot of concrete.

-Yeah, sure is.

-Say, you really believe that
Bo Williamson met with foul

play, don't you?

That's astonishing.

There's no body, no proof.

Aside from Goldie's pathetic
attempt at fraud, no motive.

-Well, actually there
is a motive.

-Oh?

-Oh, yes.

It's in Mr. Williamson's will.

You see, before I dropped it
off at his wife's house, I

stopped by to see my
brother-in-law.

Uh, he's an attorney.

Nothing big, you understand.

But, uh, he's pretty good.

-You've been very busy.

-Well, it's just part
of the job.

Anyway, he tells me that, uh,
there is a very interesting

clause in that will.

And it says that if Mr.
Williamson dies, his wife,

Jennifer, doesn't gain control
of the estate.

-Is that so?

-Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Aside from Goldie's
25%, the entire

thing goes into a trust.

And the wife, all she gets is
the income from the interest.

-How nice for her.

-Yeah, it's a lot of money.

But it's a lot less than it
takes to finance your city.

-You know, you're proving
my point, Lieutenant.

I have no interest in
seeing Bo dead.

I want the city built.

-Yeah, but if he's dead and it
can't be proved, then legally

he's considered alive, which
means his wife can spend the

money without restrictions.

You see, she can go right ahead
and bankroll your city.

-Quite a lawyer, your
brother-in-law.

-Yeah, I know.

The whole family, we're
kind of proud of him.

-As long as he's giving you so
much free counsel, I hope

there's one other point
that he made.

-Oh, what's that?

-Well, a man can be declared
legally dead

without a corpus delicti.

But if you really want to make
a case against someone, it

might help if you
found the body.

-Yeah, I know.

See, I figure I, uh,
I got to come up

with something concrete.

[music playing]

-Uh.

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

-Wenzel.

-I, uh, need some information
about--

-Ju--just a minute, please.

Yes?

-I want some information.

How do I go about, uh, getting
permission to dig up a pile of

a building that's already
under construction?

-I beg your pardon?

-A pile of a building that's
under construction, I

want to dig it up.

-Regular sized pile?

-Yeah.

-10,000 pounds?

-I would think so.

-Just a minute, please.

Section 346 B, foundations.

Do you know how much a thing
like that would cost?

-No, how much?

-See 581 D. Yes, here we are.

Um, what's your connection,
by the way?

Contractor?

Owner?

-No, I'm from the police.

Uh, Lt.

Columbo.

-Oh, yes.

Well, uh, you'll have to have a
departmental approval under

Regulation 613 of the
municipal code.

-I see.

That's, uh, 613?

-613.

Now, once you get that, you
file your permits, your

requisition, uh, slips.

And, uh, if the mayor's office
approves of that, uh, then

you're set.

Been to the structural
engineering department?

-What for?

-Lieutenant, you have to show
the exact foundation to be

torn out, so we can make
our estimates.

-Oh.

Where do I do that?

-Room 316, down the hall.

-All right.

I'll be right back.

[phone ringing]

-Got her.

-Good.

-Well?

-Lunch hour.

Come back at 1 o'clock.

-OK.

-How long have you been
digging here?

-Since about 8:00
this morning.

-Excuse me.

-And how much is this
going to cost?

-I don't know.

-Inspector, how much is all
this going to cost?

-Oh yes.

-Thanks.

-How you doing, Teddy?

I'll tell you, it's going
to cost considerably.

-Well, Lieutenant.

You know, you can still stop
it before it's too late.

-Well, you know, I went to so
much trouble to get the

permission that, uh, I think
I'd better go ahead.

-Well, that's up to you.

I hope you realize how much
work you're causing for a

great many people.

-Well, it's a lot more
than I expected.

I'll give you that.

-You know what?

You should have dressed
for the occasion.

-What?

-They're taking your picture.

You're going to be a celebrity
on the 6 o'clock news.

-All right, come on, fellas.

Give me a break, huh?

Listen, I, uh, I want to
apologize for the press.

I didn't realize they were
going to be here.

I had nothing to do with it.

Must have been a leak down
in the department.

-No, I invited them.

I hope you don't mind.

I intend to make a statement
when you're finished.

-You do?

Well, maybe I'll have a
statement of my own.

-Oh, you're clutching
at straws.

Carl, you're keeping a record
of the delay in construction

time, aren't you?

CARL [OFFSCREEN]: Yes, sir.

-All right, fine.

Lieutenant, I want to
know I admire you.

-Oh, really?

-You've got the courage
of your conviction.

That's an admirable trait,
misdirected as it may be.

-Lieutenant, there you are.

You just stay right there.

Because I am going to
love you to death.

We could have used
you at the Alamo.

You've got guts.

-Oh, yeah.

-Jennifer called, and
told me about this.

Then she pulled the covers over
her head, which is her

way of dealing with problems.

But I'm here to give
you support.

-Thanks.

I appreciate that.

-Are you getting a little
nervous, Mr. Markham?

-Should I be?

-Well, it depends on
what's down there.

-The usual, Goldie.

Bedrock and cement.

-Hmm.

I wonder.

-So does the Lieutenant.

But he'll have his curiosity
satisfied soon enough.

-Mr. Markham, can I see
you a moment, please?

-Don't be intimidated.

I think he's scared.

-If this looks all right to you,
can I bring in the crane?

-All right.

Bring her in.

Take her up.

-What's happening?

-Another half hour.

-Another half hour.

ELLIOT MARKHAM [OFFSCREEN]:
Nervous, Lieutenant?

-Yeah, a little.

-Why not?

You're learning architecture
the hard way.

Take her up.

CARL [OFFSCREEN]: OK, fellas.

Let's forget it, huh?

Nothing here, Mr. Markham,
not even a button.

ELLIOT MARKHAM [OFFSCREEN]:
Well, Lt.

Columbo?

-I guess I was wrong.

-I consider that an accurate
statement.

-You have a moment?

I'd like to talk to you.

-Nothing I'd like better.

-Mr. Markham, I think I
owe you an apology.

-Is that all you have to say?

Not much.

Night.

Carl, fill up the excavation.

Sink another hole.

We'll pour the concrete
in the morning.

Lieutenant, you say you
owe me an apology?

Well, you owe me a great
deal more than that.

There's not a trace of a body.

Not a bit of clothing,
not a ring, nothing.

Now, I'm not a police officer.

But the conclusion seems
to be obvious.

You didn't find Bo Williamson,
because he isn't here,

and he never was.

-Stop gloating.

-What's the matter, Goldie?

You should be delighted.

It means Bo's still alive.

The only one that suffered here
is the Lieutenant and me.

-Why you?

-Well, I've been suspected
of murder.

My work has been delayed.

My relationship with Bo and
Jennifer has been jeopardized.

Lieutenant, I'm sure you have
a lot of explaining to do to

your superiors.

So if you'll forgive
me, I'll be off.

-Here, put this on.

I'm sorry, lover.

-Now, that's OK, Goldie.

-No, it's my fault.

I put the bug in your ear.

They going to suspend
you, or something?

-I don't know.

-I'll buy you a drink.

I'll buy us both a drink.

-No, that's OK.

Thank you, Goldie.

You go ahead.

-I owe you one.

I'll see you later.

[music playing]

[music playing]

[SHUFFLING AND DRAGGING
SOUNDS]

[classical music playing]

[classical music playing]

[tire pops]

[police radio chatter]

-License and registration,
please.

That was real nice, sir.

-What?

-That was a real nice piece of
driving you did back there,

the way you handled it, the
way you pulled it over.

-Oh, thank, thank you.

-Left front.

Could have been hairy.

-Yeah, that.

Oh, that could have been.

That's, uh, well, there's
no real harm done.

I thank you for stopping.

I, I appreciate that.

-Open it up.

-What?

-The trunk.

You might as well
get your keys.

And I'll help you out
with the spare.

-Isn't that ridiculous?

-What?

-[laughs]

My spare, no air.

It's useless.

I've been meaning to
get it filled.

But, well, you know
how that is.

-Well, why don't I
call a tow truck?

They'll bring out a pump.

-Oh, yeah, that's great.

Thanks a lot.

-OK.

Good night, now.

[music playing]

[music playing]

-Good evening, Mr. Markham.

Bo Williamson?

[sirens]

-Had them on me all the
way, weren't you?

-Well, I kind of had a hunch.

You see, you kept trying
to finesse me into

digging up that pile.

And I had to ask myself why.

I mean, you're not a dumb
man, Mr. Markham.

You wouldn't lead me
right to the body.

-Why'd you take it out?

-Well, I had to play
along, didn't I?

You see, I figured you had
the body somewhere.

But what you really wanted was
a fool-proof hiding place.

Now what's better than a place
that's already been searched?

And at considerable cost,
and my embarrassment.

Officer.

-No, no, don't bother.

You will admit, it's
a clever idea.

-Oh yeah, it was perfect.

Who would look in the
same place twice?

-I should have left
it where it was.

-Mr. Markham, I'm curious
about that.

Where was it?

-It was in the equipment
shed of his stables.

-You never can be sure
about those things.

You know, bodies have a funny
way of surfacing.

No, this was brilliant.

Eventually, you would
have had a whole

building over the grave.

-Yes, brilliant.

-It was just that music thing
that bothered me.

Carnegie Hall and Nashville,
they don't mix.

-[sigh]

No, no they don't.

[theme music]

[theme music]