Original subtitles

♪ You got to keep 'em separated ♪

[The Offspring singing "Come Out And Play"]

[bell ringing]

[female #1] 'Dawn, what a paper you wrote. What a..'

You don't smoke.

Not you. Detention.

♪ They're like the latest fashion ♪

Bad attitude, Mr. Litvack. Detention.

♪ The kids are strappin' on their way to the classroom ♪

♪ Getting weapons with the greatest of ease ♪

♪ The gangs stake their own campus locale ♪

♪ And if they catch you slippin' then it's all over pal ♪

- What are you doin' in here? - Studying.

Detention, this afternoon.

♪ Bash it up bash it up hey ♪

♪ Man you're talking back to me ♪

♪ Take him out you got to keep 'em separated ♪

♪ Hey

♪ Man you're disrespecting me

That took some work.

Uh, yeah, sir.

How did you get it all up there?

- Glue stick. - Where did you get that?

This is the one who..

Suicide. Committed suicide.

And this is school property.

Detention, this afternoon.

♪ By the time you hear the siren ♪

♪ It's already too late

♪ One goes to the morgue and the other to jail ♪

♪ One guy's wasting and the other's a waste ♪

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

What did Brattman have to say?

- Ah, new info on a case. - Which?

Kid named Trevor Dawson.

Died in '94 falling from the roof of his high school.

Accident?

Oh, Northwest handled it as a suicide.

This note was found on Trevor's body.

"I want my parents to know

"that I don't regret what I'm doing.

"It may seem extreme

"but it's the best for everyone.

Trevor Dawson."

Suicide note. Sounds straightforward.

Only now, we have the other half.

Custodian at Trevor's high school just died.

Landlord calls the cops when he finds the guy's apartment

full of creepy high school memorabilia..

...including this.

[Stillman] '"May 13th, '94.'

This is TD, writing from a scary spot."

Looks like the same handwriting.

"I want you to know that I'm in danger.

"If something happens to me today

please tell my parents I love them."

This new note ends there.

Oh, put the two pieces together.

[Vera] 'Same page ripped in half.'

Top of the note, Trevor says

he's in danger, he knows he's gonna die.

[Vera] What kind of kid was this?

- He run with a bad crowd? - No record, no drugs.

So why would someone wanna kill a high school kid

no record, no drugs, nothing?

Why would a high school kid, no record

no drugs problems wanna kill himself?

[theme music]

[music continues]

[siren wailing]

So yesterday, I look over.

I see a telephone message from Miller.

Today, gone, whisked away.

That's crazy.

'Cause of the content.

It says

"Veronica, about Wednesday night."

Veronica?

Wednesday night is the only night

Miller can work, strict rule.

- I don't know, man. - Oh, I know.

- How you doing? - 'What's up?'

- Alright. - 'What do you got?'

Well, day he died, Trevor Dawson was in after-school detention

'at Westmoreland High from three to six.'

Autopsy puts his death just before six.

What did the other kids in detention say?

Dawn Hill, Boris Litvack and Raquel Montero.

All of them said Trevor slipped out

just before detention's over.

A few minutes later, they're leavin'

he's dead in the parking lot.

Well, worth talking to them again.

Not teenagers anymore. They could be more forthcoming.

There a teacher watching this detention?

A Mr. Abe Monti, died in a car wreck, 2002.

Back in '94, he tells the kids he's stepping out

for a few minutes, falls asleep

in the teacher's lounge instead.

Anything helpful on the school security tape?

Tape runs out before Trevor leaves detention.

Gives you the chilling glimpse back into high school, though.

Pretty much it for the whole tape.

Sitting, eyeballing each other.

We should visit Trevor's parents.

Let them know we're looking into this again.

And be sensitive.

Don't wanna get their hopes up for nothing.

You think the murder angle will get their hopes up?

They lose their son either way.

Him being murdered means maybe it ain't their fault.

[instrumental music]

That's his handwriting, it is.

"I am in danger."

Does that mean anything to you, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson?

I don't know who he could be in danger from

but I do know that it never made sense to me

that Trevor would kill himself.

He never said anything like that?

No, he didn't say too much to us anyway, round then.

[Mr. Dawson] 'He was in a phase, yeah.'

'Moody, locking himself up in his room.'

But, to go that far

he would have really had to have been hurting.

And we would have seen that.

What was it like for Trevor at school?

- Any enemies? - I don't think so.

Yeah, he didn't really have any friends.

He didn't fit the popular mold.

He was a creative type, that's why. Very sensitive.

- 'Very.' - How do you mean?

You know this Kurt Cobain from the band Nirvana?

Killed himself. Yeah.

After he did, Trevor wouldn't leave his room for a week.

A few weeks after that, he died.

We tried to be caring about this Cobain thing

but, well, I myself didn't totally get it.

Trevor's spray-painting has left me

with a major cleaning job on my hands.

Not to mention the landscaping that Trevor set on fire.

Fletch Canalli kicked my candle over.

That wasn't me. I was making a memorial.

- What were you thinking? - Chuck.

Kurt Cobain died, dad.

Is he a friend of yours? What happened?

One of his rock stars killed himself.

It's the one that wears all the layers of clothes.

Oh, great. That's great.

- Why are you acting out? - I'm not.

You risked getting expelled

for a guy who wears makeup

gets high on drugs and takes his own life.

This is your hero? Huh?

I mean, I know you don't like sports..

Oh, please.

If you are using drugs, let's just deal with it.

It's the music, okay?

It's his songs. It's not drugs, mom.

The first time I ever heard his music

was the first time I ever felt like I wasn't alone.

You are not alone, Trevor.

♪ What is wrong with me

♪ I'm out of love

It's on his senior page.

Kurt Cobain.

- Can we, uh, take this? - Yeah.

You know, I was big on Led Zeppelin

but I never would have offed myself for them.

'You see what I mean?'

So you never bought that

to pushing Trevor over the edge.

After he died, our phone bill came back

and there was page after page of him

calling some teen hotline.

Crisis hotline kind of thing?

That was the one thing that made us think

that maybe he was really having dark thoughts.

But it was too late by then, obviously.

[Jeffries] Teen hotline Trevor called wasn't just for suicidal kids.

It was for any kind of crisis.

So he could have talked about what he was in danger from.

Possible, but they can't give out transcripts.

Protecting caller privacy.

I got the call logs from the months

before Trevor's death.

Look at this.

One of the volunteers is named Dawn H.

Like Dawn Hill.

This the same girl who was in detention with Trevor

the day he died?

Bet they're one and the same.

I wonder if that's a coincidence.

[siren wailing]

Yes, that was me.

I talked to Trevor Dawson on the teen hotline once.

You were trained to talk to kids who were suicidal?

Kids in any kind of crisis.

Pretty coincidental

you and Trevor winding up in detention together.

The one time I ever got detention.

- Was the day Trevor died. - Yeah.

- So you two knew each other. - Not really.

Teen hotline was anonymous, first-name basis only.

Very strict rules about that.

But you knew he was the same Trevor that day in detention.

I figured it out

but I don't think he knew I was the same Dawn.

Trevor wrote a note that day. Said he was in danger.

Danger? Really?

He didn't talk about that?

You mean on the teen hotline?

Not that I should tell you, but no.

- What about in detention? - We didn't talk.

- Nobody said anything? - Nothing of substance.

It wasn't like "The Breakfast Club."

It was like high school.

[Stone Temple Pilots singing "Vasoline"]

- What is that? - College book.

It has, like, every college and what you need to get in.

Can I see it?

What do you need? Money?

Grades, activities

good SAT scores, sports

leadership stuff.

SAT scores are racist.

- Did you hear that? - I got a 1420.

And I got an 1180

so I guess, there goes that theory, huh?

No way. This place has classes on Japanese poetry.

You should apply.

It's $28,000 a year to go there.

Well, maybe if you'd done better on your SATs

you could get a scholarship but whatever.

- Yeah, whatever. - You guys?

Please don't talk. You know the rules.

I had those loafers when I was in, like, the second grade.

Girls.

You have a little lipstick, like..

...all over your face.

No! Does that mean I'm not pretty?

'Does this mean I'm cut from the dance squad?'

Mr. Monti?

If you had to choose which one of us

could be your kid, would you choose me or Dawn?

Mr. Litvack, silence.

He didn't wanna hurt your feelings.

- Ha. - You know what you need, Dawn?

To get high. Come over to my place.

I can have my mom call your mom

and say it's okay for you to sleep over.

- She'll do it, too. - Boris, you do this every time!

I'm going to the teacher's lounge

to get an aspirin.

While I am gone, do me a favor

and just consider why it is

you insist on being cruel to one another.

Because it's high school and we hate ourselves?

Mr. Dawson, the corner.

You know you're being recorded.

So behave.

♪ Keep getting stuck here

♪ All the time

So the detention monitor

he made Trevor sit in the corner?

Yeah.

I think so.

That's what you said.

Well, then, yes.

If I remember correctly.

Why, does that mean something?

Thanks for your time, Dawn.

The Trevor Dawson on this tape

is not sitting in the corner

where Dawn said he was.

If he moved after ten minutes

this tape won't show it.

This tape runs for three hours.

Sort of.

Take a look.

See here?

This girl's got her hands folded.

- What happened there? - It's a cut.

What do you mean?

This tape runs on a loop.

'First ten minutes over and over.'

- How'd this get missed in '94? - It's good work.

Well orchestrated.

"Well orchestrated" meaning

they sit still on purpose?

That's why the tape works.

So the kids were in on faking the tape?

Which means they were all in on faking their alibi.

The loop tape makes it look like

they were all sitting in detention

'quietly studying.'

Not pushing Trevor Dawson off the roof.

Looks like those kids in detention cooperated

to make the fake security tape.

Conspiracy to keep anyone from seeing the hours

before Trevor Dawson died?

Why would those kids wanna kill Trevor?

Well, kids in detention are usually troubled types.

Who knows what's brewing in the hormone-addled brain?

I took a look at their files.

One of them has a record.

"Boris Litvack."

Assortment of drug-related charges.

Plus nine months for DVD piracy.

The kid's got technical know-how.

Let's see if he'll own up to making this tape.

Hey, V. Hi.

'I know, I know, I'm sorry.'

'How'd it go?'

[instrumental music]

[Valens] 'Boris Litvack?'

'Philly PD.'

She's gonna be all over the manager about this.

Your boss know you got a record, Boris?

Yeah. Must disclose.

But here at the Dunk N' Glaze, we don't discriminate.

Well, what about a murder charge?

That something that'd get you fired?

I'm guessin'.

Then maybe you feel like telling us

the truth about Trevor Dawson.

Kid did himself in. He jumped off the roof.

Well, we got another idea.

And we think you, Raquel Montero and Dawn Hill

used detention as an alibi so you could off Trevor.

Whoa.

I encourage you to not let your imagination spin out of control.

I knew the kid from detention.

Didn't have some murderous relationship with him.

You were the only one in that room who knew

how to mess around with electronics, make that tape.

Reason it keeps popping in our head

is you don't want anyone to know

you were throwing Trevor off the roof.

I made the tape to cover my ass.

[Vera] 'For what?'

Trevor and I snuck out of detention

to lift sulfuric acid from the chem classroom.

Why'd you need sulfuric acid?

I was gonna make Ecstasy.

You're a model citizen there, Boris.

Well, I didn't have a lot of follow-through back then

so I never did it, rest assured.

But...that's why I made the tape.

Why'd the girls go along with it?

Raquel did whatever Trevor did

and Dawn didn't really know what was going on.

All these labels are, like, scientific

and I can't read any of them.

[Trevor] 'Dawn, do you know the chemical formula for sulfuric acid?'

Can you find it?

Are you guys sure Monti is passed out?

I cannot get caught.

Relax, Hill.

Look at this.

Yes, dude, take that.

Are you out of your mind?

Uh, yeah, 'cause I need a ciggy.

Put it out.

You're gonna get us caught.

Keep it down, Montero.

You know what they're saying about your hero, Trev?

Shh. What?

That Courtney did it to him

because he wanted a divorce.

She's crazy. I love her.

She's like, "You're never leaving me."

Are you just really freaked out about what we're doing?

I know it's scary--

Have you just, like, moved on from me or what?

There is nothing to move on from.

You are such a liar.

'Seriously.'

I held you in my arms and we listened to Kurt

and you-you cried.

It was the day he died.

I can't believe I ever told you to hang on

like I cared if you lived or died.

I take it back.

[glass shattering]

You're a crazy bitch.

Raquel Montero was a crazy bitch.

She had a thing for Trevor?

Thought she was the Courtney to his Kurt.

Where'd you all go after the science room?

We went our separate ways till a little before 6:00

when we knew Monti'd come back

and check on us.

How'd you know he'd do that?

That was his detention routine.

Excuse himself, booze up, snooze

wake up at 6:00.

Where'd Trevor go?

I left campus to stow the pilfered materials

away in my house.

'When I came back to detention'

Trevor was already dead.

Well, you think he could have been

with Raquel while you were at home?

'She was pretty good at being wherever he was'

'any given time.'

And you know what they say about Courtney.

[instrumental music]

Hello, there.

Are you two from the neighborhood?

Raquel Montero?

You remember a kid named Trevor Dawson?

I'm in the middle of work here.

And we're in the middle of a murder investigation.

I thought Trevor committed suicide.

We know about the tape, Raquel.

We know you four didn't stay in detention that day.

Which means you have no alibi for when Trevor died.

Nothing like cops yelling at you to make you feel 16 again.

Well, way we hear it, you were obsessed with Trevor.

Thought you were the Courtney to his Kurt.

Who told you that?

It was Boris Litvack, wasn't it?

Well, it can feel pretty bad at that age..

...getting rejected by a boy you like.

And when the boy you like would rather kill himself

than kiss you, that feels bad, too.

So what did you do?

Wrote in my journal and cried. I didn't push anybody.

So you weren't afraid of Trevor moving on, then?

Afraid for him.

Afraid of that bitch, Dawn Hill

pulverizing his heart.

Dawn Hill?

Dawn Hill was Trevor's secret girlfriend

'in 1994.'

Oh, yes, you heard me. "Secret."

[clanking]

Hey, do you have to be so loud?

Yeah.

You're gonna wake up Monti and then we're all gonna

have detention till we're, like, dead.

You think he bought us hating each other?

Definitely.

Principal Ellis made me take down Kurt

so I put this up instead.

- See how beautiful you are? - Oh, God.

Take that down. People will see it.

- Why does that matter? - You know why.

I can't remember.

It has to be just us.

Hello? Yeah, I know, too.

And you won't tell.

I'm blocking all of this out, believe me.

'I don't wanna live a lie anymore.'

Being with you is the most real thing I've ever felt

and I'm psyched about it.

Look, what's between you and me is a secret.

- Drama. - Yes! Bitch.

I told you Rex Tyson had a gun.

Yes, you did.

My dad's got a gun

but it's like old from Spain.

I'm taking it.

What?

What's between you and me is a secret.

Dawn, I--

And it needs to stay that way

or we're dead.

You're dead.

[instrumental music]

- Why would Dawn want a gun? - I don't know.

But girlfriend was worked up.

But none of Dawn's friends knew she and Trevor were together?

No.

That was her whole thing.

Reputation, reputation, reputation.

Do you think she would kill to protect her reputation?

It's what you live and die by in high school.

Excuse me, please.

Hi, can I help you?

Trevor was pushed, not shot.

Holding a gun on a guy is one way to get him off the roof.

One thing when a 17 year-old

keeps her boyfriend a secret from her friends.

But a 30 year-old keeping it from the cops?

I'm 28.

Well, you're too old to not know

what you're dealing with here, Dawn.

Lying to the police in a murder investigation.

- You push him, Dawn? - No.

Maybe it was just an impulse.

Kid pissing you off, acting like

the world's got to know about you two

when maybe you're just trying to get some.

Don't talk about it like that, alright?

Like what?

Like it didn't mean anything

when it meant everything.

What was a good girl like you doing with a gun?

I never used that gun.

Not even to protect your reputation?

I didn't care about my reputation.

I wasn't ashamed of Trevor. I loved him.

He's the one who thought I should have a gun.

Okay, Dawn.

Why's that?

I told him something that put him in danger.

I didn't mean to, but

I had to tell somebody.

What?

What was happening to me.

Tell us.

We met on the teen hotline in March.

We talked once and then everyday after that

he'd call at the same time and I'd answer.

I miss his voice.

I listened to it.

You're right. He had a great voice.

You know that song

"Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam?"

It's kind of what it's like.

'That's how you feel?'

'Tell me.'

It's like about how like..

...how even God wouldn't want you in heaven, you know?

'Like nobody thinks anything of you.'

I do.

'You don't know me, though.'

[sighs]

Believe me

'you wouldn't.'

In English class, freshman year

Miss Capeci read somebody's poem

that was supposed to be anonymous

'about walking in the parking lot'

'and running your hands along the fence'

and your fingers going numb.

And just wishing

that the rest of you would go numb, too.

'I knew it was yours because I saw'

'the drawings in the margins'

'and that's what you drew all over your desk.'

When you sat behind me.

Dawn Hill?

You're Dawn Hill from my high school?

Yeah.

And I think you're a really great artist and writer, Trevor.

And I bet you could even go to art college.

God.

- I'm hanging up. - Please, don't.

'You, of all people.'

'I mean, you're like..'

...you don't understand.

You think I'm different from you, but I'm not.

- I think those things, too. - 'No.'

About..

...not being able to go on another day.

'But you're Dawn Hill.'

You're gonna have some perfect life.

'Will you please just listen to me'

and don't hate me for what I'm telling you?

Yeah.

I'm scared to go home.

I'm scared because..

...my stepfather is someone who..

...I don't know what's wrong with him.

What, Dawn?

I'm afraid I'll never be able to say..

..."I love you" to anybody..

...because that's what he says to me.

And he smells horrible.

Like so drunk.

'And when my mom washes my nightgown'

she goes "Have you been drinking?"

And I just want to say to her

'"It's your husband.'

He's been in my bed."

- Oh, Dawn. - Yeah.

- Do you hate me? - No.

I wanna see you.

In person.

That's why you had the gun.

Your stepdad.

But I couldn't even bring it into the house.

Did your father know about Trevor?

My stepdad didn't like me to have boys in my life.

He was very possessive.

So they never met?

I hope not.

Trevor talked about it sometimes.

What do you mean?

He thought he could reason with my stepfather.

A sweet, naive kid sitting down with a monster.

'I thought I'd made him happy.'

Gave him a reason to live, but..

Trevor's parents never knew about me either.

They never knew that somebody loved him.

Dawn's stepfather is Philip Hill.

Owns half the commercial real estate in Roxborough.

You get anything from DHS?

If he was abusing his stepdaughter

no one who could've helped her knew about it.

Thought I might've had too much time on my hands

flipping through this thing, but look at this.

[Stillman] '"Falling from heaven." What is that?'

Not sure.

But check this out.

[Vera] 'Raquel's page. Senior message.'

"But beautiful we three are." Gibberish.

'Now look at Boris Litvack's page.'

'"Good-bye forever bloody."'

Put it all together starting with Boris

you get "Good-bye forever

"bloody but beautiful

we three are falling from heaven."

The three of them, falling.

"Bloody but beautiful." Talking about death.

These three, it's suicide.

And they're predicting it.

"We three are falling from heaven."

It's a pact.

[Vera] 'Trevor, Boris, Raquel.'

Trevor's the only one who took the plunge.

You three all go up on the roof

let Trevor jump and then call "psych"?

I wasn't there, man.

What'd you have that made you want in on this suicide pact?

I was depressed.

What, you don't remember high school?

Talk to me about the pact, Boris.

Why did you put it in the yearbook?

So we wouldn't back out.

Didn't work though.

I didn't have the stones.

Kept thinking of my mom seeing me with my eyes glazed over

and my head cracked open.

I got caught up.

Suicide, it seemed romantic, I guess.

So you backed outta the plan and Trevor didn't.

- Not exactly. - That's what happened.

Trevor was committed to it, I wasn't.

What do you mean, Raquel?

I should say first

I'm not guilty of anything.

Mm-hmm.

The suicide pact was in the winter.

By the time spring came

Trevor had met Dawn, and the plan changed.

Keep goin'.

The lovebirds made a pact.

- Brought us in on it. - What kind of pact?

Wasn't to kill ourselves. It was to kill him.

[Smashing Pumpkin singing "Today"]

- I feel sick. - Me, too.

[Trevor] Yeah, me, too.

It's okay, baby.

He's gonna be gone.

After tonight, your stepfather's gonna be gone.

What if he grabs the gun?

First thing I do when I go in there..

...is point it at his face

'and tell him this is what happens'

when you're not worthy of life.

Here. Gloves.

You guys, you don't have to do this.

All I have is just one more year

and if I can just make it to college--

Yeah, where he'll visit you, Dawn.

And it won't stop.

What if something goes wrong?

I wrote a note.

Just in case something happens to us.

If your stepfather hurts us or..

...if we get arrested.

"This is TD, writing from a scary spot.

"I want you to know that I am in danger.

'"If something happens to me today'

"please tell my parents I love them.

'"I want my parents to know'

'"that I don't regret what I'm doing.'

"It may seem extreme, but it's best for everyone.

Trevor Dawson."

[Boris] 'You know, with my mom'

yeah, I can drink.

I can toke up in front of her.

But sometimes I feel like

if I were to put a gun to my head

'she couldn't care about that either.'

I am willing to take

whatever consequences there are, Dawn.

Me too, baby.

Let's do our fingerprints.

You're burning them off?

Yeah, maybe we should just wear gloves, man.

It's what professionals do.

[Raquel] You guys.

I don't have my inhaler, you know.

I seriously can't even breathe right now.

What, you want me to go to the crime scene

and just pass out?

I can't go.

- Stay with Dawn. - 'Okay.'

'Cause I just mean, I really shouldn't go.

Whatever.

It's time. Trevor.

♪ The greatest day

I love you.

♪ I want to turn you on

♪ I want to turn you round

♪ I want to turn you on.. ♪

I faked my asthma attack.

I didn't, like, wanna be

like a dead or on the lam.

I wanted to live.

So that was the note

everyone thought was Trevor's suicide note?

It was in case something went wrong with the plan.

So you and Dawn stayed back?

Boris and Trevor took the gun and went to kill Dawn's stepdad.

But Philip Hill is alive.

And that was the last time I saw Trevor.

This kid, Trevor Dawson

was pushed from the roof of his high school.

[Hill] I'm not talking to you without my lawyer.

He was your stepdaughter's boyfriend.

You got the wrong kid.

Dawn didn't do the boyfriend thing.

Focused on academics.

Oh, I'm sure that's why she didn't do the boyfriend thing.

I don't know what you mean.

He knew your secret, Phil.

What you were doing to that girl.

'And now I know.'

Be a lot harder to pick me off.

Lawyer.

[knock on door]

What is this?

Dawn wants to know what happened that night.

What do you know about that?

- Those were my friends. - 'Come on, Dawn.'

Do you have any idea what those boys did to me?

What they were going to do to me?

I gave them the alarm code.

Trevor was at your house the night he died, Philip.

And you went without a scratch.

Never called the cops, either.

Maybe because whatever Trevor did to you

it wasn't as bad as what you did to him.

It was for my family what I did.

How does that work?

Not calling the police..

...because I didn't want it to get back to my family

'have their hearts broken.'

The lies those punks were spewing about us.

You're a parent, man.

You're somebody's dad.

You're supposed to love them and protect them

and give a crap if they live or die

'or if they're hurting.'

'Your kids didn't ask to be born.'

'You did it to them.'

You brought 'em here

'and now you don't care how they feel.'

'You ignore them.'

'You rape them.'

They need you, man.

'You're supposed to care.'

And you don't.

Stop it, man, stop.

Stop, please.

I don't wanna do this.

Get away from me.

I'm doing it.

[panting]

Look, I love your stepdaughter

more than anything in the whole world.

And that's why I'm taking her away from you.

Because that's what you do for someone you love.

You protect them from pain.

[panting]

Can't do this, man.

It's messed up.

Let's go.

[muffled scream]

Not cool, man.

That kid was a maniac, Dawn.

And you did the right thing.

And stayed with me.

'Because we're family.'

You sure you didn't find those kids

at the high school later, Philip?

I was tied up till the housekeeper came.

[Jeffries] 'Dawn, you didn't see the boys'

after they come back from your house?

Boris.

He said Trevor had jumped.

So, Boris was the last to see?

I want you to know, I don't blame you, Dawn

for telling those boys what you did.

You were young.

And you took that away from me.

Goodbye, Philip.

Don't think you can walk out of here and relax, Phil.

'You'll see me again.'

I promise.

We didn't hurt Philip Hill.

I don't care about that guy, Boris.

We want to know what happened between you and Trevor

after he didn't let you kill Philip.

Even though we backed out

I think it messed with his head

how close we came.

Why do you think that?

He got all quiet.

Thinking about his own parents.

Rage he had about them.

But that was you.

You're talking about you.

I mean, you're the one whose mother wouldn't care

if you put a gun to your head.

Trevor was gonna go off with Dawn.

I mean, he had plans. His parents cared.

[Rush] 'But you had no one.'

And the only plan you had was a suicide pact

with a kid who was gonna leave you

because he'd found a way to be happy.

Which I never did, FYI.

Trevor said, "Hang in there.

You'll find a way."

But I can't.

It should have been me.

Who died up there.

'Is that what you thought?'

That's the truth.

It was supposed to be me.

[Trevor] 'Hey, Boris.'

Hey, Boris, stop, man.

We got to go back to the pact.

This is so screwed up.

We didn't do anything, man.

We have nothing to run from.

I got to get out.

'I got to get out of my life.'

You know what I mean.

Yeah, but I'm over that.

I don't wanna be, like some screwed-up guy

with, like, death everywhere, you know?

I thought you were depressed.

[sniffles]

I wanna go get in my car right now with Dawn, man

and-and I want to hold her

and I wanna talk to her all night.

'And I know you think that's gay.'

But I just wanna be here..

...you know?

I just want to, like

I don't know, love somebody.

'I want things, man.'

Like life things.

If I jumped off this roof right now

and I was laying dead down there

with blood all over me

man, I'd think about my mom.

- She wouldn't care. - Don't say that.

She wouldn't.

She hates me, man.

Well, then she's a bitch, man.

Because you're a good guy.

- I'm such a screw-up. - No, you're not.

You're smart. You got to endure, man.

- No. - You got to hang in there.

- Nobody wants me around, man. - That's not true, man.

I know what you're thinking, but it's not the case.

- Yes, it is. - No, it's not.

Hey, stop, man. What are you...?

- Trevor, just let me. - Stop.

[instrumental music]

[Smashing Pumpkins singing "Landslide"]

♪ I took my love I took it down ♪

♪ I climbed a mountain and I turned around ♪

♪ And I saw my reflection

♪ In a snow-covered hill

♪ Till the landslide brought it down ♪

♪ Oh mirror in the sky

♪ What is love

♪ Can the child within my heart ♪

♪ Rise above

♪ Can I sail through the changing ♪

♪ Ocean tides

♪ Can I handle the seasons

♪ Of my life

♪ Oh

♪ Well I've been afraid

♪ Of changing

♪ 'Cause I've built

♪ My life around you

♪ But time makes you bolder

♪ Even children get older

♪ And I'm getting older too ♪

♪ Well I've been afraid of changing ♪

♪ 'Cause I've built

♪ My life around you

♪ Time makes you bolder

♪ Even children get older

♪ And I'm getting older too

♪ I get older too

♪ I took my love and took it down ♪

[female narrator] Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.

[theme music]

[music continues]