Original subtitles

(OPENING THEME PLAYING)

(LAUGHING)

Only two more hours till the 3 AM Zom-Pire movie marathon.

(EERIE ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS)

Are you guys as excited as me?

(ALL AGREEING WEAKLY)

Oh, yeah. Zombies and vampires.

(SNORING)

Come on, Beast Boy. Wake up!

(SNORING)

We've been waiting all week for this. Wake up!

Wake up!

Wake up!

(SCREAMING) Wake up!

(THUDDING)

(SNORING)

(EXCLAIMS)

I'm up!

Why do they get to sleep?

Starfire is not sleeping. See.

(HORN BLOWS)

I am up!

And Raven was just resting her eyes.

I'm up.

Last warning, guys.

Fall asleep and I start drawing mustaches again.

(SNORING)

(YAWNING)

(CLEARS THROAT) Hey, what's the pen for, Cyborg?

Why is it so easy for me to stay awake?

You are half robot.

(YAWNING) There is less of you to get tired.

(ALL YAWNING)

You know, this isn't the first time

you guys have ruined things with your flesh and blood,

and more flesh.

As soon as I get this baby humming it's vaca time!

Hold this a sec.

(GROANS)

(GROANING)

Why can't you guys be awesome like me?

Super strength.

Fireproof armor.

High jump moves,

and power!

Maybe one day we'll all benefit from an accident that requires us to replace

several body parts. But until then...

(SNORING)

-(BABBLING) -(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

This is just great!

You know how hard it is to clean between my sensitive robot parts?

No big deal, Cyborg.

We'll just dismantle you, clean your parts, and put you back together.

Dismantle me? You guys can't even program a VCR!

VCR?

VCR, 1980s device

that allowed you to tape television shows even if you weren't at home.

They mostly used VHS tapes,

even though Betamax was clearly the superior format.

And nobody knew how to program that clock on.

I mean, you had to be like a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

So they always flashed 12:00.

VCRs revolutionized home entertainment.

We can handle this, Cyborg.

Looks like I don't have a choice.

(WHISTLES)

(DRILLING)

(SCREAMS)

There! Clean as the baby's behind.

It's soft as a baby's behind, Star.

Those things aren't usually so clean.

Yes, I am saying we did an awful job.

Can you just put me back together?

-That doesn't go with the... -(DRILLING)

Be careful with the...

Watch out for my...

Okay, this is not how I go back together.

(FLUSHING)

I don't know. I'm pretty sure that's how I remember you.

-Yup. -Agreed!

Then what about all those extra parts?

Yes. Extra parts, Cyborg.

As in, you do not need them.

That's my leg you're sitting on!

Sorry, Cyborg. But we've done everything we can.

You can't leave me like this. It's undignified.

I feel like Webster.

Webster?

Webster. 1980s TV show,

with that tiny kid who was like 40 in real life.

You know, his parents die,

so the dad's ol' football buddy adopts him.

George Papadapolis with his wife Katherine.

But Webster calls her "Ma'am".

There's an episode where he uses a science kit,

even though Ma'am warned him not to.

And he accidently burns down the whole apartment building.

The whole building. Oh, it was crazy!

I have all six seasons on VHS.

If we can't put your body back together

maybe we can upload you into the tower computer.

Yeah! And then you'd be completely electronic.

None of that gross flesh and blood stuff going on.

You make a compelling case.

Let's give it a whirl.

Okay, that's good. Ow!

I'm on... Ow!

Thank you! Ow!

Getting a little tight in here. Ow!

I'm connected to all the tower's systems.

(CHUCKLES) Air-conditioning, doors, lights.

I control it all.

RAVEN: Uh, can you please turn the lights back on?

I can! But I won't!

I'm just kidding. I will.

I'm as excited as The Pointer Sisters.

The Pointer Sisters?

-The Pointer Sisters, 1980s music group. -Nobody cares!

All I'm saying is now I can make living at the tower as awesome as me.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(GROANING)

(SNORING)

(ALARM BEEPING)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

(YELLS) Morning, Beast Boy!

What are you doing?

You know how you used to ignore your old alarm clock

and waste the whole day sleeping in?

Well, not anymore!

'Cause there's no snooze button on me, baby!

(MIMICS TRUMPETING)

(SURREAL MUSIC PLAYING)

-Hey, Raven. -(GASPS)

Just wanted to make sure you're meditating in an optimal environment.

Doing great! Thanks!

Okay, this is boring.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

CYBORG: Now this is how you meditate!

Oh! Meditate with me, y'all.

Oh, meditate with me, Raven.

� When there's trouble, you know who to call

� Teen Titans!

� From their tower, they can see it all

� Teen Titans!

(GASPS)

Cyborg, what are you doing in here?

Just trying to make everything a little more awesome.

-Missed a spot. -Get out!

You know how you're always complaining about the water pressure.

Don't care, get out!

Yeah, you care. Check it out!

-(SCREAMS) -(GLASS BREAKING)

The Cyborg is starting to tick me up!

I cannot even flort my screebies in peace!

He's everywhere.

We have to get him out of the computer.

What you guys talkin' about?

Uh, nothing.

After years of being half man,

(VOICE TURNS ROBOTIC) I'm finally a whole computer.

And now you want to take that away from me?

Huh! We have no idea what you're talking about.

We were just... Titans, go!

(GRUNTING)

I'm sorry. But I can't let you do that!

Oh, yeah? Well, who's gonna stop us?

I'm part of the tower now. I have new friends.

(WHIRRING)

I'm fighting a vacuum cleaner.

And losing!

This is embarrassing.

(COFFEE BOILING)

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMING) Ow! Ow! Ow! It burns! It burns!

(GROANING) Too many. The carbs!

Ah! I can't see!

It's over, buddy. Time to get your old body back.

You know, maybe you're right.

I think, when I lost my body

I lost a little of my humanity too.

Psych!

(ALL COUGHING)

CYBORG: I love being a building.

(LAUGHING WICKEDLY)

Ah! Whoa!

Wha... What happened?

I just made you better.

Now you're all part of the tower like me.

(SCREAMING)

So, anyone want a cup of joe?

I would love some with my toast.

Oh! No way, check it out!

I can turn the light on and off with my tongue.

Seriously, guys, you're getting crumbs everywhere.