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♪
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00:00:08,024 --> 00:00:10,999
Here's your ticket
to witness history.
3
00:00:10,999 --> 00:00:13,072
Chuck Wildler breaking
the pitching record
4
00:00:13,072 --> 00:00:17,687
- for most batters
knocked unconscious.
- Mm-hmm!
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00:00:17,687 --> 00:00:19,693
Upper deck. We're so far away.
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00:00:19,693 --> 00:00:22,669
I wanted to see teeth fly.
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Relax, nobody comes
to Isotopes games.
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We'll move into the empty seats
behind home plate.
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You'll be so close
to the carnage,
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you'll have flashbacks
for the rest of your life.
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00:00:31,628 --> 00:00:34,069
What the heck?
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00:00:34,069 --> 00:00:35,975
Why is it so crowded?
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And why are they all girls?
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And why are they all checking
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00:00:39,117 --> 00:00:40,856
each other's teeth
for lipstick?
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- Do I have lipstick?
- Is it gone?
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00:00:42,662 --> 00:00:45,002
ANNOUNCER (over P.A.): First up,
a young slugger batting .320
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00:00:45,002 --> 00:00:46,841
with a hat size of 11--
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Tork "Lollipop" Williams.
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00:00:47,977 --> 00:00:53,460
(laughs)
Wildler hates this guy's head.
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FEMALE VOICE: Your jumbotron
is now under the control
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00:00:56,068 --> 00:01:00,582
of the Ashlee Starling
Murmur Nation.
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(girls cheering)
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00:01:02,253 --> 00:01:04,560
Why are you all standing
at the same time?
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That's not how the wave works.
You've got to undulate.
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Ashlee's album Squeeze Play
drops now.
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00:01:13,955 --> 00:01:16,764
Featuring her
hit single "Glitter!"
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- ♪
- (girls cheering)
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What the hell
is an Ashlee Starling?
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Ashlee Starling
is a whiny pop singer
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for whiny girls
who love to whine.
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♪ Yeah, yeah,
you broke my heart ♪
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♪ Into a million pieces ♪
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00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:34,048
♪ And like glitter
those pieces shine ♪
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00:01:34,048 --> 00:01:37,225
♪ They reflect all the
bad things you said and did ♪
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♪ And I can't get them
out of my mind ♪
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♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
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♪ I'm not bitter,
now I'm glitter ♪
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- (grumbles) Ah! (grumbles)
-♪ You threw me away
like litter... ♪
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Stop this stupid
well-planned thing!
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-♪ I'm not bitter,
now I'm glitter ♪
- (both groaning)
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(gasping)
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- HOMER: Oh, my God,
it's happening.
-♪ Bet your new girl will find ♪
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- For the record! And... Oh.
-♪ Pieces of me everywhere ♪
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00:02:02,802 --> 00:02:05,510
-♪ Like glitter. ♪
- HOMER: D'oh!
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- (grunts)
- We missed it.
- (girls exclaiming)
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Childhood officially ruined.
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Let's get a dozen hot dogs
and head home.
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00:02:14,269 --> 00:02:15,338
- (gasps)
- Oh...
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00:02:15,338 --> 00:02:17,044
- What?
- Do I have hot dog?
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00:02:17,044 --> 00:02:18,549
- Am I good?
- (indistinct chatter)
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Oh, I should have hot dog
in my teeth.
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Sir, how long have you been
a proud member
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00:02:23,832 --> 00:02:25,068
of the Murmur Nation?
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Since never.
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Ashlee Starling
is a whiny pop singer
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for whiny girls
that love to whine. Right, boy?
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I disagree.
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Ashlee Starling's
well-crafted songs
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speak to the inner lives
of teens and tweens alike.
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- But you said...
- I've never met this man.
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If I knew him,
I would teach him to love Ashlee
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by sharing that one song
about how you're beautiful
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no matter what
your face looks like.
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Why are you talking like that?
(gasps)
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Did one of them bite you?
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00:02:52,349 --> 00:02:54,657
Do you have any idea
what you just mobilized?
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You insulted Ashlee Starling
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on camera.
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I am looking into the eyes
of a dead man.
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00:03:03,015 --> 00:03:06,325
Wha...?
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(vocalizing)
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MARTY (over radio):
Looking for the fifth caller
to win all you can eat bread
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00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:15,318
- at Yeasties Doughhouse and...
- (radio static)
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- Huh?
-♪ I'm not bitter... ♪
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What? Oh... You again.
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Not on my radio.
(grunts)
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-♪ I'm not bitter... ♪
-♪ Not bitter... ♪
- What's happening?
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-♪ You threw me... ♪
-♪ Threw me... ♪
- (grunting)
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-♪ Like glitter. ♪
- (screaming)
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Glitter?
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(whimpering)
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Eh, who's there?
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I-I see you.
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(panting)
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(gasps)
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(girl's laughter echoing)
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00:03:52,262 --> 00:03:54,035
What the...
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00:03:54,035 --> 00:03:55,706
(whimpering)
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(gasps)
A seed cake?
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00:03:56,509 --> 00:03:59,250
Well, you know my motto:
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even the worst cake
is still cake.
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(shrieking)
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00:04:03,029 --> 00:04:11,353
(screaming)
95
00:04:11,353 --> 00:04:12,223
(shaky breathing)
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00:04:12,223 --> 00:04:16,202
- Aah!
- (screeches)
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"Love" is in quotes.
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00:04:17,606 --> 00:04:20,347
What were you thinking?
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00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,352
You've made
the nuclear power plant
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00:04:22,352 --> 00:04:24,626
a very dangerous place to work.
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00:04:24,626 --> 00:04:27,602
You have become the target
of a highly organized,
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00:04:27,602 --> 00:04:30,712
newly-hormonal fan army.
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00:04:30,712 --> 00:04:33,285
Because of you,
I have to wear this T-shirt.
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00:04:33,285 --> 00:04:37,097
In case anyone's wondering,
I don't agree with Homer.
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Whew. You don't know
these fan armies.
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00:04:40,306 --> 00:04:42,446
They're all ruthless psychos.
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00:04:42,446 --> 00:04:44,485
Except for the BTS ARMY,
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00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:47,494
- who are just and pure of heart.
- Mm-hmm.
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(groans softly)
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Dad, if you ever want to breathe
un-glittered air again,
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00:04:53,012 --> 00:04:55,218
you have to repent and devote
your life to Ashlee.
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00:04:55,218 --> 00:04:58,260
Oh, you're blowing this
out of proportion.
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Everything's gonna be f-f...
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(sneezes)
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Unrelated.
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I got glitter in every fold,
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00:05:06,484 --> 00:05:08,826
crack and wedge.
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00:05:08,826 --> 00:05:11,567
I really need
the comforting burn
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00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:14,275
of Flaming Hot Oreos.
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(screeching)
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(whimpering)
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Oh, God.
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00:05:19,324 --> 00:05:27,815
No!
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We did it.
We have broken him.
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You sure you're cool with this?
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Totally.
My dad has to pay
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00:05:33,868 --> 00:05:41,089
for what he said about Ashlee.
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00:05:41,089 --> 00:05:43,730
Great job, Murmur Nation.
We've got D'oh-boy on the ropes.
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I feel bad for the ropes.
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00:05:45,435 --> 00:05:47,809
We couldn't have made it
this far without you, Lisa.
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I'm doing it for Ashlee.
I'm a hardcore Starling fan.
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She encourages girls everywhere
to speak truth to power
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00:05:55,365 --> 00:05:57,538
and never date John Mayer.
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00:05:57,538 --> 00:05:59,477
But selling out your own dad?
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00:05:59,477 --> 00:06:03,288
That is Stone Cold Creamery,
and I'll take two scoops.
136
00:06:03,288 --> 00:06:06,799
I love my dad,
but you guys are my besties.
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00:06:06,799 --> 00:06:09,373
(gasps)
I've never used the plural
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00:06:09,373 --> 00:06:11,013
of bestie before.
139
00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:14,321
Marge, did you get the paper?
(groans)
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00:06:14,321 --> 00:06:17,498
Once again, Marge is out living
it up at the grocery store.
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00:06:17,498 --> 00:06:22,312
(grunting)
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Ooh, lawn burger.
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Mm?
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00:06:25,321 --> 00:06:28,463
(grumbling)
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(gasps)
The mothership.
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00:06:32,109 --> 00:06:33,479
Mm...
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00:06:33,479 --> 00:06:37,490
Oh!
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00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:39,230
(grunts)
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00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:42,206
I'm still waiting
on cheese fries.
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(grumbles)
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00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:46,619
(scoffs)
Just as I thought,
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Ashlee what's-her-face.
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I'm not Ashlee.
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00:06:50,598 --> 00:06:52,001
Aah!
What's your face?
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00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:54,945
I'm pop sensation,
U.N. AmbassaDiva
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00:06:54,945 --> 00:06:57,786
and lip gloss spokesmouth,
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- (echoing): Echo.
- Mm?
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00:06:59,390 --> 00:07:03,135
I had my name
legally changed to do that.
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00:07:03,135 --> 00:07:06,210
I hear the birdbrain fans
of Murmur Nation
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00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:07,782
have been giving you trouble.
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00:07:07,782 --> 00:07:10,189
I haven't had a single day's
sleep at work.
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Miss Ashlee and I have
the standard megastar feud.
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00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:17,310
We released dueling diss tracks
then diss sketches on SNL.
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00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:18,915
We both diss-dated
Pete Davidson.
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00:07:18,915 --> 00:07:21,924
That guy's got big diss energy.
166
00:07:21,924 --> 00:07:24,599
I've always believed
the frenemy of my frenemy
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- is my ene-friend.
- Obviously.
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00:07:26,304 --> 00:07:30,483
Why don't we team up
and clip some Starling wings?
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00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,255
I have my own fan army.
170
00:07:32,255 --> 00:07:34,997
(echoing):
The Echolaliacs.
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00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:38,040
Hmm...
An eye for an eye.
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(gasps)
Everyone wins!
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Let's do it.
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00:07:41,082 --> 00:07:43,957
Oh, careful...
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00:07:43,957 --> 00:07:44,926
- (gasps)
- 'Sup, Books.
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Ooh, looks like
you're making a glitter bomb.
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00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,440
Don't be ridicu...
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00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,911
(coughs) ...lous.
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00:07:50,911 --> 00:07:52,884
Look, I know
you're part of the army
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00:07:52,884 --> 00:07:54,656
that's driving dad bananas.
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00:07:54,656 --> 00:07:56,562
- I want in.
- No way.
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00:07:56,562 --> 00:07:58,769
You don't believe
in the power of music
183
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,741
and weaponizing breakups.
184
00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,211
Lisa, I have spent years
185
00:08:02,211 --> 00:08:04,619
thinking of ways
to screw with dad,
186
00:08:04,619 --> 00:08:06,926
and they're all right here.
187
00:08:06,926 --> 00:08:09,601
Hmm.
Skunk vendors,
188
00:08:09,601 --> 00:08:11,673
atomic whoopee cushions.
189
00:08:11,673 --> 00:08:12,877
This is exactly what we need.
190
00:08:12,877 --> 00:08:15,819
But why would you help us?
191
00:08:15,819 --> 00:08:17,090
Because, for the first time,
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00:08:17,090 --> 00:08:19,697
you have something I want:
an army.
193
00:08:19,697 --> 00:08:20,834
I can finally bring my wildest
194
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,643
prank dreams to life
on a grand scale.
195
00:08:23,643 --> 00:08:24,913
Like this. I call it
196
00:08:24,913 --> 00:08:29,795
the Alley Oops.
197
00:08:29,795 --> 00:08:31,499
Okay, as soon as
the Fat Lebowski
198
00:08:31,499 --> 00:08:34,375
sticks his fingers in the ball,
they'll be Krazy-Glued in
199
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:36,682
and he'll bowl himself
down the greased alley
200
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,955
right into the waiting pool
of garbage juice.
201
00:08:38,955 --> 00:08:40,527
The pool's in place.
202
00:08:40,527 --> 00:08:44,840
We drained
every dumpster in town.
203
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,417
- Yes!
- Got him.
204
00:08:48,417 --> 00:08:50,456
Whoa.
What's happening?
205
00:08:50,456 --> 00:08:52,730
Oh, God!
My fingers seem to be...
206
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:55,105
(grunts)
207
00:08:55,105 --> 00:08:57,645
...great at bowling.
208
00:08:57,645 --> 00:09:00,286
- (gasps) He must be on to us.
- Abort!
209
00:09:00,286 --> 00:09:02,726
- Everyone back to HQ.
- Go.
- But quietly.
210
00:09:02,726 --> 00:09:04,600
My mom's got an Herbalife thing.
211
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:05,335
Hm?
212
00:09:05,335 --> 00:09:07,909
♪
213
00:09:07,909 --> 00:09:08,912
(gasps)
214
00:09:08,912 --> 00:09:10,383
Homer Simpson is now
215
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,727
under the protection
of my Echolaliacs.
216
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:19,042
(echoing):
Echolaliacs.
217
00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:21,784
(coughs)
They're smoke bombing us
218
00:09:21,784 --> 00:09:23,622
with her signature scent,
219
00:09:23,622 --> 00:09:24,324
Reverb by Echo.
220
00:09:24,324 --> 00:09:29,574
- (coughing)
- KID: My lungs!
221
00:09:29,574 --> 00:09:32,148
Your dad has made an alliance
with the Echo fan army.
222
00:09:32,148 --> 00:09:34,421
Maybe we should leave him alone.
223
00:09:34,421 --> 00:09:36,394
No. We can't back down.
224
00:09:36,394 --> 00:09:39,202
Ashlee isn't just
a singer we like.
225
00:09:39,202 --> 00:09:41,409
She's the photo in our locker.
226
00:09:41,409 --> 00:09:43,315
She's our one and only
Google Alert.
227
00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:46,792
She's the tattoo
I've been designing
228
00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:48,964
for when I turn 18.
229
00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:51,305
We aren't just fans of Ashlee,
230
00:09:51,305 --> 00:09:54,148
we are Ashlee!
231
00:09:54,148 --> 00:09:57,223
ALL:
We are Ashlee!
232
00:09:57,223 --> 00:09:59,864
Lis, are you really gonna
whip up these psychos
233
00:09:59,864 --> 00:10:02,004
into a full-fledged fan war?
234
00:10:02,004 --> 00:10:03,408
- Yeah.
- Cool.
235
00:10:03,408 --> 00:10:07,822
You psychos heard my sister.
It's war.
236
00:10:07,822 --> 00:10:10,664
(cheering)
237
00:10:10,664 --> 00:10:13,070
♪
238
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:17,618
- (phone dings)
- (grumbles)
239
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:18,855
(growls)
240
00:10:18,855 --> 00:10:20,794
(grunting)
241
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:21,630
D'oh!
242
00:10:21,630 --> 00:10:23,569
(grunts, sighs)
243
00:10:23,569 --> 00:10:26,512
The winner is Ashlee Starling.
244
00:10:26,512 --> 00:10:28,082
(cheering, applause)
245
00:10:28,082 --> 00:10:34,167
- (grunts) Yoink!
- BOTH: Oh!
246
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:38,948
Huh? (exclaiming)
247
00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:41,088
Ew, carrot.
248
00:10:41,088 --> 00:10:43,662
Glitter war is sparkly hell.
249
00:10:43,662 --> 00:10:46,002
Mrs. Simpson, are you proud
of what your husband
250
00:10:46,002 --> 00:10:47,741
- has done to this town?
- No.
251
00:10:47,741 --> 00:10:49,279
The thing I hate most
about armies,
252
00:10:49,279 --> 00:10:53,157
fan or otherwise, is the mess.
253
00:10:53,157 --> 00:10:55,264
I love my husband,
but I disagree
254
00:10:55,264 --> 00:10:56,669
with him about Ashlee.
255
00:10:56,669 --> 00:11:00,077
I listened to one of her albums.
It was great.
256
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:03,956
She sure knows which of
her boyfriends were bad for her.
257
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:06,029
- All of them.
- (laughs)
258
00:11:06,029 --> 00:11:09,173
You heard it here first.
Ashlee Starling is great,
259
00:11:09,173 --> 00:11:11,445
but not as great
as BTS or their fans,
260
00:11:11,445 --> 00:11:15,156
- who are sane and perfect.
- Mm-hmm.
261
00:11:15,156 --> 00:11:16,394
I got the family size.
262
00:11:16,394 --> 00:11:18,200
This'll make enough slime
to fill his toilet
263
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,871
and his secret toilet.
264
00:11:19,871 --> 00:11:21,174
Maybe we could work in
265
00:11:21,174 --> 00:11:23,348
Tabasco toilet paper.
266
00:11:23,348 --> 00:11:26,323
- Whoa, that's messed-up.
- Thanks. (chuckles)
267
00:11:26,323 --> 00:11:28,296
I'm learning from you.
(chuckles)
268
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,537
This has been really great.
269
00:11:30,537 --> 00:11:32,976
Who would have thought
that you and I could connect
270
00:11:32,976 --> 00:11:37,155
- on such a deep level?
- (phone dings)
271
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,460
- You're out of the group.
- What?!
272
00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:42,238
Yeah. Mackenzie said you weren't
excited enough to meet her dog.
273
00:11:42,238 --> 00:11:44,979
But-but who names
their dog Greg?
274
00:11:44,979 --> 00:11:46,283
That's a man name.
275
00:11:46,283 --> 00:11:48,223
And why didn't you
stand up for me?
276
00:11:48,223 --> 00:11:49,460
Meh, sheroes before bros.
277
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:53,471
- I'll tell dad everything.
- If you do,
278
00:11:53,471 --> 00:11:56,246
then I'll show him
your little notebook of pranks.
279
00:11:56,246 --> 00:11:59,222
Dad would be so surprised
to learn that the handsome pills
280
00:11:59,222 --> 00:12:02,163
he's been taking are actually
281
00:12:02,163 --> 00:12:04,471
the dog's heartworm medication.
282
00:12:04,471 --> 00:12:06,142
- Oh...
- (doorbell rings)
283
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:09,051
(gasps)
284
00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:09,921
It's the Wingmen!
285
00:12:09,921 --> 00:12:13,833
Ashlee Starling's
live-in aerialists.
286
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:17,076
Oh!
287
00:12:17,076 --> 00:12:19,416
Aah!
288
00:12:19,416 --> 00:12:21,557
What?
What happened?
289
00:12:21,557 --> 00:12:24,298
Ashlee Starling wants
to have dinner with me.
290
00:12:24,298 --> 00:12:26,303
Aah!
291
00:12:26,303 --> 00:12:28,208
She sent a dress for me to wear.
292
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:31,452
Whee! (grunts)
293
00:12:31,452 --> 00:12:34,696
"Hope this fits you, Marge"?
294
00:12:34,696 --> 00:12:37,202
(gasps) It's for me?
295
00:12:37,202 --> 00:12:39,275
She must have heard me tell
Kent Brockman
296
00:12:39,275 --> 00:12:41,315
that I listened
to her song once.
297
00:12:41,315 --> 00:12:43,287
What? I mean...
298
00:12:43,287 --> 00:12:45,595
(laughs)
299
00:12:45,595 --> 00:12:49,004
I have been a very dedicated fan
300
00:12:49,004 --> 00:12:49,840
since I was four,
301
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,150
but you-- you just made
one comment.
302
00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:54,589
(laughs) Good for you.
303
00:12:54,589 --> 00:12:58,868
I'm having dinner
with a famous person.
304
00:12:58,868 --> 00:13:02,444
(giggles)
I'm team Sparrow.
305
00:13:02,444 --> 00:13:03,816
It's Starling!
306
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:07,426
As a great man once said,
"Haw-haw."
307
00:13:07,426 --> 00:13:10,604
I can't believe you're
having dinner with my nemesis,
308
00:13:10,604 --> 00:13:12,576
after all the handsome pills
I take for you.
309
00:13:12,576 --> 00:13:14,916
- (helicopter approaching)
- That's my ride.
310
00:13:14,916 --> 00:13:18,426
(gasps)
311
00:13:18,426 --> 00:13:20,365
Hello, Marge.
312
00:13:20,365 --> 00:13:22,873
- I'm Ashlee Starling.
- I know.
313
00:13:22,873 --> 00:13:25,582
We hired a look-alike of you
for Lisa's birthday.
314
00:13:25,582 --> 00:13:29,258
You're taller.
She had bigger boobs.
315
00:13:29,258 --> 00:13:31,499
Ooh, thank you.
316
00:13:31,499 --> 00:13:33,472
- Ooh, wow!
- (chuckles)
317
00:13:33,472 --> 00:13:35,946
It's my own line
of sparkling whiskey.
318
00:13:35,946 --> 00:13:37,315
Mmm, yum.
319
00:13:37,315 --> 00:13:38,320
Mmm, mmm. (smacks lips)
320
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,328
Look at your sweet family.
321
00:13:41,328 --> 00:13:42,499
I'm sure your husband
322
00:13:42,499 --> 00:13:44,169
- is perfect.
- (kids growling)
- Stop it!
323
00:13:44,169 --> 00:13:44,805
(laughs)
324
00:13:44,805 --> 00:13:48,048
Homer is far from perfect.
325
00:13:48,048 --> 00:13:51,191
Really?
Tell me everything.
326
00:13:51,191 --> 00:13:53,264
Mmm, ooh.
327
00:13:53,264 --> 00:14:00,452
(grunting)
328
00:14:00,452 --> 00:14:01,890
(laughs)
329
00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:04,397
Ashlee said
the funniest thing at dinner.
330
00:14:04,397 --> 00:14:06,404
No one wants to hear
about your thrilling night
331
00:14:06,404 --> 00:14:07,373
with a vengeful pop diva.
332
00:14:07,373 --> 00:14:09,814
Lisa, sweetie, delight us
333
00:14:09,814 --> 00:14:12,254
with one of your little stories
about how the planet
334
00:14:12,254 --> 00:14:13,358
is choking on plastic.
335
00:14:13,358 --> 00:14:15,029
Don't "sweetie" her.
336
00:14:15,029 --> 00:14:17,035
She's the one behind
those Murmur Nation
337
00:14:17,035 --> 00:14:18,641
- attacks on you.
- (gasps)
338
00:14:18,641 --> 00:14:20,947
(gasps)
Lisa. Wh...
339
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:24,056
But you're the one kid
I had on purpose.
340
00:14:24,056 --> 00:14:28,670
Well, Bart was part of it, too,
and he doesn't even like Ashlee.
341
00:14:28,670 --> 00:14:30,408
He did it just for the fun
of torturing you.
342
00:14:30,408 --> 00:14:31,879
(gasps)
You?
343
00:14:31,879 --> 00:14:34,689
The person I would most suspect?
344
00:14:34,689 --> 00:14:37,429
I never could have
seen it coming.
345
00:14:37,429 --> 00:14:39,637
Kids, how could you do that
to your father?
346
00:14:39,637 --> 00:14:43,415
What? You're the worst
betrayer of all.
347
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:46,423
Dad, you should see
the video Ashlee just dropped
348
00:14:46,423 --> 00:14:48,864
after her night of girl talk
349
00:14:48,864 --> 00:14:50,537
with Mom.
350
00:14:50,537 --> 00:14:59,797
♪
351
00:14:59,797 --> 00:15:02,973
♪ When we first got together ♪
352
00:15:02,973 --> 00:15:05,414
♪ I didn't see your flaws ♪
353
00:15:05,414 --> 00:15:07,754
♪ But then I saw you
eating ChapStick ♪
354
00:15:07,754 --> 00:15:09,860
♪ And it kind of gave me pause ♪
355
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:13,471
♪ Your man-boobs
you call cha-chis ♪
356
00:15:13,471 --> 00:15:15,511
♪ Your fontanelle
that never fused ♪
357
00:15:15,511 --> 00:15:17,885
♪ When I thought
that you were perfect ♪
358
00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:23,266
♪ I must've been confused ♪
359
00:15:23,266 --> 00:15:25,039
♪ And it's hard to ignore it ♪
360
00:15:25,039 --> 00:15:29,151
♪ When you burp-talk
in your sleep ♪
361
00:15:29,151 --> 00:15:30,656
♪ Somehow, you've got
athlete's foot ♪
362
00:15:30,656 --> 00:15:34,535
♪ On both of your knees ♪
363
00:15:34,535 --> 00:15:36,508
♪ Whoa, oh ♪
364
00:15:36,508 --> 00:15:37,878
♪ Oh ♪
365
00:15:37,878 --> 00:15:41,689
♪ We had dinner
with my sisters ♪
366
00:15:41,689 --> 00:15:43,963
♪ And it turned into a fight ♪
367
00:15:43,963 --> 00:15:46,269
♪ You kept insisting
that the Moon ♪
368
00:15:46,269 --> 00:15:49,077
♪ Was just the Sun at night ♪
369
00:15:49,077 --> 00:15:50,716
♪ Seeing you the way they do ♪
370
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:53,859
♪ Makes me realize ♪
371
00:15:53,859 --> 00:15:58,941
♪ You're far from perfect ♪
372
00:15:58,941 --> 00:16:02,050
♪ When we moved in together ♪
373
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:04,658
♪ I learned things
I never knew ♪
374
00:16:04,658 --> 00:16:07,432
♪ That you sit for number one ♪
375
00:16:07,432 --> 00:16:09,138
♪ But you stand for number two ♪
376
00:16:09,138 --> 00:16:11,646
♪ Not even close,
it's kind of gross. ♪
377
00:16:11,646 --> 00:16:14,019
That last one is not true.
378
00:16:14,019 --> 00:16:16,359
I hover 'cause I'm afraid
of being flushed.
379
00:16:16,359 --> 00:16:18,197
Oh, my God.
380
00:16:18,197 --> 00:16:19,468
Ashlee took the things
I told her
381
00:16:19,468 --> 00:16:20,907
in new-friend confidence
382
00:16:20,907 --> 00:16:25,319
and made it into
a bad boyfriend song.
383
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:27,594
This has been quite the morning.
384
00:16:27,594 --> 00:16:30,536
But I'm most disappointed
in you, Maggie.
385
00:16:30,536 --> 00:16:32,039
Mm? Eh?
386
00:16:32,039 --> 00:16:35,382
Evil triumphs
when good babies do nothing.
387
00:16:35,382 --> 00:16:38,761
I'm leaving.
388
00:16:38,761 --> 00:16:41,936
Homer? What happened? Aw.
389
00:16:41,936 --> 00:16:44,409
I can't believe
they would do this to me.
390
00:16:44,409 --> 00:16:45,681
Hey, could I use
391
00:16:45,681 --> 00:16:48,957
your billion-dollar
entertainment complex
392
00:16:48,957 --> 00:16:51,666
to produce a diss track
to take them all down?
393
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:53,036
You should be careful with that.
394
00:16:53,036 --> 00:16:55,109
When my dermatologist
wouldn't fly to Japan
395
00:16:55,109 --> 00:16:56,648
to remove a culturally
insensitive mole,
396
00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:59,288
I hit him with my single
397
00:16:59,288 --> 00:17:01,629
"Mole Check, Soul Check."
398
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,367
It destroyed him.
399
00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:05,874
Do you want to do that
to your family?
400
00:17:05,874 --> 00:17:08,248
No. I love them.
401
00:17:08,248 --> 00:17:11,626
Homer, music isn't just
for dissing people.
402
00:17:11,626 --> 00:17:13,063
Wha...?!
403
00:17:13,063 --> 00:17:15,035
Why don't we make a video
that tells your family
404
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:15,938
how much they hurt you?
405
00:17:15,938 --> 00:17:18,747
An "I've been dissed" track,
406
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:23,996
- if you will.
- I will.
407
00:17:23,996 --> 00:17:26,002
It's been three days.
408
00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:28,577
Dad's never
stayed mad this long.
409
00:17:28,577 --> 00:17:30,649
Maybe we should
run the can opener.
410
00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:32,656
He always comes
when he hears that.
411
00:17:32,656 --> 00:17:33,658
I tried that already.
412
00:17:33,658 --> 00:17:35,864
- (whimpers)
- (burps)
413
00:17:35,864 --> 00:17:40,010
Tomorrow, we'll start
calling theme park jails.
414
00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:42,819
- Homie!
- Dad!
- Where you been?
415
00:17:42,819 --> 00:17:47,901
- LISA: Hmm?
- MARGE: Hmm.
416
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,107
♪ One opinionated man ♪
417
00:17:50,107 --> 00:17:51,979
♪ Doesn't stand a chance ♪
418
00:17:51,979 --> 00:17:54,955
-♪ Against an army of tweens ♪
- ECHO: ♪ Damn tweens ♪
419
00:17:54,955 --> 00:17:57,898
♪ It's like trying to fight
an angry hill of ants ♪
420
00:17:57,898 --> 00:17:59,334
♪ Flying on the backs ♪
421
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:04,216
-♪ Of killer bees ♪
- ECHO: ♪ Killer bees ♪
422
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,989
HOMER:
♪ I don't change ♪
423
00:18:05,989 --> 00:18:08,630
♪ My shorts no more ♪
424
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,267
♪ Glitter bombs inside my ♪
425
00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:12,508
-♪ Undie drawer ♪
- ECHO: ♪ Undie drawer ♪
426
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:15,249
♪ The word "family"
has a bitter ring ♪
427
00:18:15,249 --> 00:18:16,787
ECHO:
♪ Bitter ring ♪
428
00:18:16,787 --> 00:18:19,194
HOMER:
♪ It's my family who's been ♪
429
00:18:19,194 --> 00:18:23,473
-♪ Glittering ♪
- ECHO: ♪ Glittering ♪
430
00:18:23,473 --> 00:18:30,930
♪ It's my family ♪
431
00:18:30,930 --> 00:18:31,899
Breakfast and betrayal.
432
00:18:31,899 --> 00:18:34,708
Pancakes bitter in my mouth,
433
00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:37,817
yet I ate seven.
434
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,087
You sent an army
435
00:18:39,087 --> 00:18:42,832
against those who are me.
436
00:18:42,832 --> 00:18:44,804
You three took.
437
00:18:44,804 --> 00:18:46,142
Three-took,
438
00:18:46,142 --> 00:18:48,850
the opposite of for-give.
439
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:57,074
Yet, I forgive.
440
00:18:57,074 --> 00:19:00,585
-♪ Marge ♪
- ECHO: ♪ You brought
joy and dinner to my life ♪
441
00:19:00,585 --> 00:19:02,825
♪ You're still
a Fudgie Whale of a wife ♪
442
00:19:02,825 --> 00:19:05,935
-♪ Even when I do things wrong ♪
- HOMER: I wrong do things!
443
00:19:05,935 --> 00:19:09,445
ECHO: ♪ Like pass out
on the lawn at crack of dawn ♪
444
00:19:09,445 --> 00:19:11,417
- HOMER: ♪ Bart ♪
- ECHO: ♪ This verse
goes out to Bartholomew ♪
445
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,691
- HOMER: Why, you little...!
- ECHO:
♪ When I smell mothballs ♪
446
00:19:13,691 --> 00:19:15,128
♪ Now I think beef stew ♪
447
00:19:15,128 --> 00:19:18,707
♪ Why, you little... You ♪
448
00:19:18,707 --> 00:19:21,380
♪ You're kind of cool,
stay in school ♪
449
00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:24,355
- HOMER: ♪ Lisa ♪
- ECHO: ♪ You don't suffer fools
or eat baloney ♪
450
00:19:24,355 --> 00:19:27,867
- HOMER: ♪ Mmm, baloney ♪
- ECHO: ♪ Just jamming on your
brass saxo-ma-phony ♪
451
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,240
♪ You're my little
lampshade girl ♪
452
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:34,855
♪ In white pearls,
you're my world ♪
453
00:19:34,855 --> 00:19:36,761
♪ 'Cause we ♪
454
00:19:36,761 --> 00:19:39,569
♪ Me, you three and Maggie ♪
455
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:41,440
♪ Can bring this war down ♪
456
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:42,812
HOMER:
♪ Can bring this war down ♪
457
00:19:42,812 --> 00:19:46,322
ECHO:
♪ Can bring this war down,
we, me ♪
458
00:19:46,322 --> 00:19:48,697
♪ You three and Maggie ♪
459
00:19:48,697 --> 00:19:51,706
-♪ Will be okay now ♪
- HOMER: ♪ Will be okay now ♪
460
00:19:51,706 --> 00:19:54,313
ECHO:
♪ We going to be okay now,
if we ♪
461
00:19:54,313 --> 00:19:57,891
♪ Me, you three and Maggie ♪
462
00:19:57,891 --> 00:20:00,130
-♪ Just stick together ♪
- HOMER: ♪ If we just ♪
463
00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:01,133
♪ If we stick together ♪
464
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,978
ECHO:
♪ We, me ♪
465
00:20:04,978 --> 00:20:08,187
♪ You three and Maggie
could stop ♪
466
00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:11,598
♪ A meltdown ♪
467
00:20:11,598 --> 00:20:13,771
To stop this war,
468
00:20:13,771 --> 00:20:15,811
we don't need a grand gesture.
469
00:20:15,811 --> 00:20:17,984
We don't need to make a stand.
470
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:22,496
We just need
to sit down together.
471
00:20:22,496 --> 00:20:24,269
(crying)
472
00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:26,643
I'm sorry I betrayed you.
473
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,853
We're all sorry
Lisa betrayed you.
474
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,490
ALL:
Mm.
475
00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:33,129
LISA:
Sorry! Accident.
476
00:20:33,129 --> 00:20:34,299
Forgot where I put them all.
477
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,271
There's probably more.
478
00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:37,408
(all coughing)
479
00:20:37,408 --> 00:20:39,983
LISA:
That's gonna happen for a while.
480
00:20:39,983 --> 00:20:42,122
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
481
00:20:42,122 --> 00:20:43,627
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
482
00:20:43,627 --> 00:20:44,898
and TOYOTA.
483
00:20:44,898 --> 00:20:51,617
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
484
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,759
- (doorbell rings)
- Mr. Simpson,
485
00:20:53,759 --> 00:20:56,632
the Murmur Nation has decided
to stop attacking you.
486
00:20:56,632 --> 00:20:57,703
My video made you think, huh?
487
00:20:57,703 --> 00:21:00,511
No. It was super cringe,
488
00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:02,584
like watching
two teachers make out.
489
00:21:02,584 --> 00:21:04,122
I understand. Been a pleasure
doing war with you.
490
00:21:04,122 --> 00:21:08,702
May psychotic super-fandom
always lend meaning
491
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:12,013
to your otherwise
anonymous existence.
492
00:21:12,013 --> 00:21:13,149
BOY: Hmm.
493
00:21:13,149 --> 00:21:14,821
(all grunting)
494
00:21:14,821 --> 00:21:17,763
It's crazy that
I believed in someone
495
00:21:17,763 --> 00:21:21,608
so much that I got
swallowed up in groupthink.
496
00:21:21,608 --> 00:21:24,048
I know. So scary.
497
00:21:24,048 --> 00:21:26,322
(gasps) Oh, my God,
we're late for church!
498
00:21:26,322 --> 00:21:31,437
I'll get nice, crisp dollars
for the donation basket.
499
00:21:31,437 --> 00:21:34,937
Shh.
34321
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