All language subtitles for The Comic (1985)

In another time and another place,

in a world where time means nothing,

there is no light,
just the black inner core of society,

where dark shadows,
disease, filth and vermin live.

Style and fashion do not exist.

The only order is from people
with power and money to afford it,

with a system which Springs
from another person's misery.

Disease is not just of the body
but of the mind.

In this world,
people do not survive.

They only exist.

Throw him out.

Come on, come on.
I want you on stage in two minutes.

I want you ready now.

Now!

What are you doing?
You should be on. You should be on.

Go, go, go.

- What do you want, coex?
- I want a spot here at the club.

How many times
do I have to tell you?

We don't book acts
without an agent.

- We've got a comedian, anyway.
- But I'm better.

Joey Myers is the best.

Joey Myers is the best comedian
on the stage.

Now, go away. Go!

Go!

Ladies and... gentlemen.

Tonight,

for your pleasure,

we have a very funny,
funny young man.

Mr. Joey Myers.

We'll do a short spot.

What?

But enough chat from me.

Ladies and gentlemen,
will you welcome

the excellent,

the amazing,

the most incredible
new talent around,

Mr. Joey Myers!

Good evening, everybody.
How are you? All right? Jolly good.

Ever so nice you could come.
Good evening, madam.

I see you came on a motorbike.
It's a new hairstyle?

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
You paid for it, obviously.

No, coex. No. How many times
do I have to tell you? No!

- Quiet!
- Stan, you tell him.

I told you before. I only need one comic
and that's Joey Myers.

Mr. Clarke, put me on your books.

I'm sorry, Sam.

I won't let you down.

Look, I'm better. I am!

And then it took us two days
to get the lid on the coffin.

I want some food and drink.

So, this 85-year-old man wants
to marry this 16-year-old girl, see?

So his best friend comes up to him
just before the wedding...

- Get off.
- Thank you, sir.

- Go on, get off.
- Now do that with your mouth.

His best friend comes up to him
before the wedding

- and he says, "now, listen..."
- Hey! Call yourself a comedian?

Hold on a minute, sir.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the moment
every comedian prays for: A heckler.

I know what to do, I've read all the books,
I've practiced in front of the mirror.

This is where my rapier-like wit
comes in handy.

Are you ready? Watch this, madam.
You'll learn something.

Fuck off. Anyway, where were we?

- 85-year-old man wanted to marry this...
- Oi! Oi, comic.

That's not funny.

When they stuck teeth in your mouth,
they ruined a perfectly good asshole.

And his friend says, "aren't you worried
about too much sex being fatal?"

So he says, "if she dies, she dies."

Hello.

- You were good tonight.
- Thanks.

Do you want a drink?

Yes.

Two scotches, please, Charlie.

What's the matter?

- Those curls.
- Yeah?

They're funny.

- Funny ha-ha?
- No.

They're terrible.

Well

- I bet Stan likes them.
- I bet you a bottle of scotch he doesn't.

- You're on.
- Ok.

It's a shame about that heckler.

Yeah.

I don't care.

Do you ever wonder
how many turns you've done?

Yeah, must be millions.

Seems like forever.

Yeah.

You know, somehow
time just doesn't seem to matter.

You don't have to worry
about your looks.

- How old are you?
- Old enough.

How's your side
of this entertainment business?

Painful.

It's been a hard day.

It seems like everybody wants
something special.

It would be nice to finish
with a proper cuddle.

Yeah. Do you want
another drink before we go?

- Why not? Make it a double.
- We deserve it.

Two doubles, please, Charlie.

There are questions I must ask,
answers I must know.

But are they answers
that you need?

I need your help.

There was a time
when my mind was blank,

a time when I cannot remember
my childhood,

only darkness,

images of nightmares,

blood and screams.

I can give you these answers.

But do you think
you will want to see them?

I must.

Close your eyes.

Think of the room moving around you.

I will kill him.

There will not be
any mercy or pity.

He will die before my eyes.

Has there been a message
from a Joey Myers for me?

- No, sir.
- Thank you.

Well? Where is he?

I don't know.

What do you mean, you don't know?
I'm supposed to be on stage now.

- He's never let me down before.
- I don't wanna know.

I've got a show to put on.
If Ellington finds out, I'm a dead man.

Give me a few minutes
to find him, then.

I have to put him back on soon.
Until then...

That means you've got ten minutes.
Ten minutes, ok?

Ok, then, do that.

Ah, coex, have you seen Joey?

No.

- Have you seen Joey Myers?
- No.

If George Ellington finds out
I've got to give their money back,

he'll kill me. He'll kill me.

No, he won't.

Get out of here, coex.

Give me this break.

What have you got to lose?

If Myers doesn't appear,
you're finished.

But if my act works,

everybody's happy.

Has Stan Clarke arrived yet?

No.

One chance, coex.

One chance.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I must say, I am surprised.

Especially when we've got
a new act booked.

Yes.

Sadly...

Since Mr. Joey Myers proved
less than favorable,

we at the monks club
have gone to every expense

to bring you the entertainment.

The man who has been making a name
for himself up and down the country,

the man who will be
at the top of the bill from now on.

In short, the man.

Mr. Sam coex.

I can't find Myers anywhere.

- We had to put coex on.
- He'll flop.

No, no, he hasn't.

- You mean he's on there now?
- Yes.

Your boy let the club down.

I've got a contract with you.

No act, no contract.

You mean you put him on?

Yes.

Just like that.

Like Myers, only cheaper.

Thank you very much.
You've been a wonderful audience.

I hope you've enjoyed the show
as much as I have.

So, I'm just gonna say good night
and hope to see you again soon.

Good night.

You'll not get away with this.

If you've got any complaints,
you take them to George Ellington.

Can I help?

Why not?

I like your garden.

It's going to cost you 20.

Can I come in?

No.

But we must talk.

- What about?
- Joey. He's disappeared.

- So, what's that got to do with me?
- Nothing. I'm just looking for him.

Well, you know Myers,
he won't talk to me.

I heard you'd had
a bit of an argument.

No.

He said you were heckling him
on stage

that night that you asked me
to put you on my books.

Oh, that.

I was just drunk.

Ah. I just wanted to be sure.

If you see him, tell him
I'm looking for him, will you?

Who is Joey Myers?

Nobody.

Myers?

Myers?

I'll be coming for you.

You will die before me.

A complete genocide
of you and your heirs.

But then you will know that I,

yes, I...

Will control your every movement,

your thoughts,

and your destiny.

Come on, Fred, get off.
You've had your moment.

Come on.

God, you've been at it for hours.

I can't do it this way.

Hal

you didn't think you could make
that little thing grow any bigger!

You fucking bitch!

Oh, so you think
you've got coex, do you?

There's the money.

Take it.

And I want it back,
and plenty more.

Otherwise...

And I'll let coex know
what you're up to.

Coex, this is a hell of a place to meet.

I need a drink.

Whiskey and ice, please.

Now, young man,
what's this all about?

Well, Mr. Clarke,
I think I can help you.

Yes? How?

And I know that I can do the job.

Stepping into Joey Myers' shoes
is going to be very difficult for anybody.

I can do it, and you know that.

Ah, you're good,
but are you good enough?

Try me at any club.
I won't let you down.

No, I don't think I need to.

I know you can do a decent job.

But it will be on my terms.

- What are those?
- 80%.

For me.

- 20 for you.
- But that's more than Myers gave you.

Then prove yourself,
then maybe we'll talk about money.

And if you can't get me any shows?

Take 24 hours to make up your mind.

If you haven't done it by then,
I'll have found someone else anyway,

and don't forget, you need me
more than I need you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

tonight, an act
you have never seen before.

May I introduce to you

the one and only
amazing flea, Mary.

To start with

little Mary here
will jump from this hand

over to this hand here.

Are you ready, Mary?

Here we go.

And up.

Straight there.

And back again.

And up.

Great.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

Mary will attempt something
she's never done before.

A double somersault
on my right hand here

into this paper bag.

For this I need hush and quiet.

Thank you.

Ok.

One,

two,

three!

How about that, ladies and gentlemen?
A round of applause for Mary!

Come in.

Caught your show tonight.
It was very good.

- I've been thinking about your offer.
- Mm-hm.

- When can I start?
- Right away.

How long will it take
for me to get to the westbourne?

Ah, that could take some time.

But I can get you there.

Mr. coex?

Do you intend walking?

Well, unless you have
some other alternative.

I was thinking of maybe a lift,
as I was going your way.

Very decent of you.

Move on, driver.

You were very good
on stage tonight.

Thank you.

Shouldn't you tell the driver my address?

J here in the dark god knows
we're going on and on and on

j well, I've tried so hard
to try to understand

j to take the signals of so long

j you never care to lend a hand

j every time we get the chance

j we always, always tear it down

j always tear it down

j we always tear it down

j tear it down

j with eyes turned skywards

j those words you just can't say

j better in the long run

j longer in the long run

j better in the long run
when you don't understand

j better in the long run

j longer in the long run

j better in the long run
when you don't understand

j we tried it all a thousand ways

j we tried it on our own

j we tried it on the phone

j we never got along

j two mothers said that all along

j I'm sad to say that so did I

j every time we get the chance
we always, always tear it down

j we always tear it down

j we always tear it down

j tear it down

j well, it's sad to say

j a sorry sound

j I'm certain that you never
understand a word I say

J ba-da ba-da ba-ba-da

Hello.

Would you like some pleasure?

Mm.

Don't be afraid.

Was I recommended?

Recommended.

By Anne.

Today is the anniversary
of the first time

I ever saw Joey Myers.

'I was young and naive.

'I stood in a queue
waiting for a handout of food

'when I saw this man
sitting at a table with his food bowl.

'Not a big man in size,

"but a big man in stature.

'He didn't need to go there

'because he had enough money.

'A top comedian.

"The best

'a king of kings.

'Well, a king of comedy.

'Why he was there'

I have never known.

But as soon as I saw him,

I knew I would never be happy

till I stole the king's crown.

He is gone now.

To a better world.

Can I help?

No.

It's just a bad dream.

Thanks for coming, Stan.

I need to talk to you.

What about?

Well, it's about Anne, and...

I think you're the only person
that can help me.

Well, if I can, I will.

I've got to find Anne some work.

How can I help? I'm just an agent.
I just book acts into clubs.

Mm. You see, Anne used to be
a dancer at the ward street club.

You know I don't handle dancers.
Strippers, yes, but not dancers.

Come on, Stan.

You're my only hope.

Your timing's terrible.

The westbourne have just agreed
to have you in the next show.

And they won't stand
for a double act.

Come on, Stan. You know how much
the westbourne means to me.

Yes, on your own,
but not with someone in tow.

Well, what am I supposed to do?
I've got to find Anne some work.

Well, you take the comic spot,
she slots in as the stripper.

No, no, no.
That's not what I want for her.

It's not what you want,
it's what's available.

What's it to be?

Yes or no?

You know how long I've worked
to get you into the westbourne?

What's it to be? Yes or no?
Or find yourself another agent.

Oh, now, look, come on, Stan.

No.

Yes or no? Make a decision now.

All right.

Sensible.

- You're on, coex.
- Right.

There's these two guys talking, right?
Bert and Harry.

Bert says to Harry,
"Harry, how does Pinocchio make love?"

So Harry sits down
and thinks about this one.

And he says, "Bert, I don't know.
How does Pinocchio make love?"

He says, "easy!
He just tells the girls to sit on his face

"and then he tells them lies."

Thank you very much indeed.
You've been a lovely audience tonight.

Hope you've enjoyed yourselves
as much as I have

and I hope to see you again soon.
Thank you and good night.

Anne?

Anne!

Well, hello, Sam. How are you?

Better.

But I would have been a lot better

if you'd bothered to come and see me
during the last six weeks.

Come on, Sam, I'm a busy man
and life goes on.

Tell me, did you explain
that situation to Mr. shapiro?

Oh, yes, that's all taken care of.

Good.

Where's that bitch?

Waiting for you at your flat.

I'm not going back to her, Stan.
She can leave.

There's got to be
a better way to live than this.

Well, then, you'd better
explain it to her.

After what she did to me?

Last time I saw her,
she wanted to talk to you about that.

- So, she's still at the flat?
- Yup.

Hello, Anne.

Did Stan tell you
why I wasn't there to meet you?

No.

Just that you wanted to talk to me.

I have to tell you something.

What?

I'm leaving you, Anne.

You can keep the flat.

The money, everything.

I just can't take
any more of this fighting.

I have to go.

Nothing's gonna change.

Please don't go.

Don't do this.

I need you.

We need you.

We need?

We who?

I'm pregnant.

That's what I've been trying to say.

How do you know?

The doctor told me
the day after you went into hospital.

I'm really sorry about hurting you.

Will you stay with me?

How could I ever leave you?

Do you wanna know something?

What?

- You're very beautiful.
- Stop fooling around.

I'm not.

Kiss me.

Will you marry me?

Do you mean it?

Yes.

I just want you
to promise me one thing.

What?

Give up the drink and the drugs.

I will

anything.

Your time has come.

New beginning for you, Sam.
Time to grow up and be a man.

All things change.

Everything changes.

People change.

It's a girl. Congratulations.

Come in.

Sam. Sit down.

Thank you.

You've been here
a long time now, Sam.

Yes.

- And you like it here?
- Oh, yes, very much.

Eddie tells me you've been asking
for a job for your wife.

Mm.

Well, Anne thought that now
the little girl is old enough,

- maybe she could come back to work.
- How is your daughter?

Oh, she's fine, thanks.

I like you, Sam.

You're a good worker.
Your act's very good.

I will give your wife
another chance, Sam.

But I'm telling you,
at the first sign of any trouble,

I'm gonna ask her and you to go.

Thank you, Mr. shapiro.

Thank me later.

- You're going to be fine.
- Are you sure?

Go on, kid.

Knock 'em dead.

You're on, Anne.

Who's that character
coming through the doorway?

That's George Ellington.

What he wants, he gets,
so I wouldn't mess around with him.

He runs this city.

That's George Ellington!

- How was I?
- Can't you hear them?

The manager wants
to introduce you to George Ellington.

Here's one for all you romantics
out here tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

There's this couple.

Now, they've been married 50 years.
Can you believe that?

50 years, ok?

And the husband decides
that on their 50th anniversary

he's gonna get his wife...

Sorry.

He's gonna get his wife...
Where was I?

The husband and wife joke.
I know the one, I remember it now.

50 years now, ladies and gentlemen,
that they've been married together.

And he decided
on the 50th anniversary

that she would buy...

Great, well,
thank you very much indeed.

You've been a really
smashing audience tonight.

I've really gotta go.

You've been absolutely marvelous
and I hope to see you again.

Good night from me,
Mr. Sam coex.

Have a great night.
Enjoy yourselves, ok? Good night.

- What the fuck is going on?
- Look, just get out of my way, will you?

Coex... I'll make certain
that you'll never work here again.

You bastard!

Have you heard of the 12-foot nun?

She kept all the monks
on their toes.

- Who was that madman?
- That was my husband.

That bastard will suffer.

I want you.

I know.

What do you want?

Everything.

Just name it.

So, you're back.

I couldn't leave you.

You lying bitch.

You love me, don't you?

Whatever I had for you has gone.

What's wrong?

- Didn't he pay you?
- You bastard!

I want my child.

Over my dead body.

So you are charging.

You depraved, cheap whore.

You've got yourself in a right mess
this time, haven't you?

You heard about the show last night.

Heard about the show!
The whole city's heard about it.

Do you realize what you've done?

Well, what would you have done?

Me? I'd have let it go.

Oh, let it go!

Sam, no one's going to hire you
after last night.

So you're against me as well.

I've got to take you off my books.
You're no longer popular.

Oh, so that's it.

All these years just gone.

That's something
you should have thought about.

Well, don't bother to say goodbye.

Sam, you shouldn't be here.

Everybody's looking for you.

I know, Mr. bland,
but I need help.

I need help desperately.

Everywhere I look,
I see eyes looking back at me.

The word is around
not to go near you.

This isn't for me,
it's for my little girl.

I wouldn't ask you this
if it wasn't important.

So, what do you want?

I want her safe.

Away from Anne.

And George Ellington's reach.

Oh, you're asking a lot.

I can pay you.

I'll help this once,
but no more.

That's all I'm asking.

Just keep her safe.

Bring her to the dock
at 9:30 tonight.

The boat will take her to a safe place.
Just make sure that she's there.

She'll be there, Mr. bland.

Remember, 9:30
or it sails without her.

Look after my child.

Take care of her.

Keep her safe.

I love you.

Hey, what's going on?

I haven't done anything.

Coex!

Quiet!

I et this be a lesson

to you all.

Anyone...

Who stands in the way of justice,

the law,

the order,

does so at their own peril.

We don't warn you.

We don't threaten you.

We just tell you.

Beware.

I want a drink.

I'm sorry, madam, I can't.

- It's Mr. Ellington's orders.
- I said, I want a drink.

All right, Clarke.

I'll deal with this.

I want you out of my life.

You're nothing.

You're not even good in bed.

Guards. Guards!

You decrepit old bastard.

Get her out of here.

I can see why coex hated you.

He never hated me, he loved me.

You deluded bitch.

Take her away.

No! No!

No!

No! No!

No!

There are many types of pain.

Some physical, some mental.

Which one will it be?

Help.

Help? Is that what you want, sir?

Help from a friend?

Friendship isn't love.

And there's no such thing as love,
is there, sir?

Lust.

Ll ove is unbound lust.

And lust is a feeble four-letter word.

I'd like to sell these.

I'll give you 60.

But I want at least 250.

You won't get that.

Please take another look.

Ok, 85.

It's my best offer.

Is that all? But they're genuine.

I don't care.

Take it or leave it.

They're worth more than that.

Not for me they're not.

Well? Do you want the money?

I'll take it.

I thought you would.

You can go.

Go?

Where?

Mr. Ellington is setting you free.

Free?

Freel

Want to buy me a drink?

Why not?

- What are you having?
- I'll have a whiskey.

Double whiskey.

What's a girl like you doing in here?

Drinking.

And you?

It's my club.

Nice club.

Thanks.

You after a job?

Why not?

I need a stripper. 40 a show.

When shall I start?

Shall we say in...
Five minutes in my office?

That'll cost you more.

Well, let's see how good you are
first tonight,

then we'll start you
permanently tomorrow.

Ok?

Please, ladies and gentlemen.

Please, please.

I just saw you leaving the club
pretty quick.

I thought I'd come
and talk to you,

maybe assist you.

Do you always follow people
out of clubs?

Only when I want to see
the rest of their act.

Do you have any powder?

I've got all the powder you want.

Why have you brought me here,
inspector trow?

Come this way, sir,
and I'll explain the situation to you.

Last night at 3:30
we had an alarm call for a drugs raid.

We arrived there too late
to prevent any accident occurring.

The house was on fire
as we arrived at the scene.

I still don't see
what that has to do with me.

We found a woman's body
with three men.

Whatever drug they were using
overpowered them

and somehow a fire started.

When we finally entered the house,

we found their clothes
on the floor in the other room.

The woman had your address
in her bag.

It's my wife.

We need someone
to identify the body.

No! No!

I didn't kill him.

So I said, "well, look,

"whatever you do, don't blow."

That's how
he got the hump on his back!

Waitress?

I'll have another drink.

So I said,

"what's the rush?"

Anyway,
you got the finger position right.

But don't talk with your mouth full!