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00:00:02,572 --> 00:00:04,943
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,943 --> 00:00:08,283
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,283 --> 00:00:11,256
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,256 --> 00:00:14,395
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,395 --> 00:00:18,169
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,169 --> 00:00:21,677
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:23,146
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,146 --> 00:00:24,448
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,550 --> 00:00:31,362
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:39,980
Ah, the office party.
11
00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:42,051
Raw broccoli and sheet cake.
12
00:00:42,184 --> 00:00:45,257
I like when the universe
gives me easy choices.
13
00:00:46,594 --> 00:00:48,731
Thank you for coming.
If you haven't already,
14
00:00:48,731 --> 00:00:51,336
please don't forget
to Venmo four dollars to James
15
00:00:51,336 --> 00:00:52,606
for the broccoli and sheet cake.
16
00:00:52,606 --> 00:00:54,943
And I want to thank Paula
from HR for saving us
17
00:00:54,943 --> 00:00:56,145
a little money
by squeeze-farting
18
00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:59,352
the last three bottles of ranch
dressing onto a paper plate.
19
00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:02,424
Now, to the man of the hour:
Moses Beauford.
20
00:01:02,424 --> 00:01:04,061
Moses has been
our night watchman
21
00:01:04,061 --> 00:01:05,698
for the last 40 years.
22
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,836
(farting sounds)
23
00:01:07,936 --> 00:01:09,506
Paula, I think we're good.
24
00:01:09,506 --> 00:01:11,075
Today, he is retiring.
25
00:01:11,175 --> 00:01:14,950
So, please meet and say goodbye
to Moses Beauford.
26
00:01:15,050 --> 00:01:16,486
(applause)
27
00:01:16,486 --> 00:01:19,826
Now, I've looked through
all y'all desks.
28
00:01:19,826 --> 00:01:21,597
Where's Dave Lapoff?
29
00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:24,836
My man.
30
00:01:24,937 --> 00:01:26,406
Of course,
with Moses' departure,
31
00:01:26,507 --> 00:01:29,245
we'll need to begin our search
for a new night watchman.
32
00:01:29,245 --> 00:01:31,482
And what does the job entail?
33
00:01:31,583 --> 00:01:32,953
- Sitting.
- And?
34
00:01:33,053 --> 00:01:34,255
Watching.
35
00:01:34,255 --> 00:01:36,459
Interesting, but I don't know.
36
00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:38,531
Hey, what was in Dave's
desk anyway?
37
00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:39,967
(whispering)
38
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,035
I'll do it.
39
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,340
♪ ♪
40
00:01:44,108 --> 00:01:46,179
You enjoying your walk there,
Brian?
41
00:01:46,179 --> 00:01:48,149
Good boy, good boy.
42
00:01:48,249 --> 00:01:50,387
What? I'm walking you,
you're not walking me.
43
00:01:50,521 --> 00:01:52,892
I'm not the one wearing
a leash, my friend.
44
00:01:52,993 --> 00:01:55,430
(trickling)
45
00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:56,567
(sniffing)
46
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:59,673
Lot of information on the base
of the pole today.
47
00:01:59,673 --> 00:02:02,646
That rottweiler up the street
has a UTI.
48
00:02:02,646 --> 00:02:04,015
Oh, Luna's pregnant!
49
00:02:04,115 --> 00:02:06,553
Oh, good for her,
I know she's been trying.
50
00:02:06,553 --> 00:02:09,893
Brian, this pole is AT&T,
not AT&Pee.
51
00:02:09,893 --> 00:02:10,962
(phone dings)
52
00:02:10,962 --> 00:02:16,039
"This pole is AT&T, not AT&Pee.
Potential tweet."
53
00:02:16,139 --> 00:02:17,174
Hey, check it out:
54
00:02:17,308 --> 00:02:20,615
a flyer for a missing dog
with a thousand dollar reward.
55
00:02:20,715 --> 00:02:21,750
All right, so?
56
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,623
Well, it's just... this dog
kind of looks like me.
57
00:02:26,593 --> 00:02:29,398
Boy, imagine you paint
a couple spots on my face,
58
00:02:29,398 --> 00:02:32,071
return me to the owner and
walk off with a thousand bucks.
59
00:02:32,071 --> 00:02:33,373
(laughs)
60
00:02:33,473 --> 00:02:35,310
Wait. That might actually work.
61
00:02:35,444 --> 00:02:36,547
Oh, because then you're
just going to live
62
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:39,151
with the missing dog's owner
for the rest of your life?
63
00:02:39,151 --> 00:02:40,621
Come on, use your head, Brian.
64
00:02:40,621 --> 00:02:43,193
I wouldn't live with the missing
dog's owner, Stewie.
65
00:02:43,326 --> 00:02:45,430
I'd sneak out while
they're asleep and come home.
66
00:02:45,430 --> 00:02:47,368
Then we could split
the money 50-50.
67
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:50,575
You know, you may be on to
something here, Brian.
68
00:02:50,675 --> 00:02:51,810
Damn right I am.
69
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,213
(sniffing)
70
00:02:53,313 --> 00:02:55,685
Ooh, some poor bastard's
got a drinking problem.
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00:02:55,785 --> 00:02:56,587
That's your pee.
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00:02:56,687 --> 00:02:58,824
Some cool guy
knows how to party.
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00:02:58,924 --> 00:03:02,164
♪ ♪
74
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,803
Hey, thanks for showing me
around, Moses.
75
00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:06,172
No problem, Peter.
76
00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:07,441
First thing's first:
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00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:09,780
being a night watchman
is about integrity,
78
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,317
dedication and muttering things
you wish you'd said
79
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,523
to your wife during a fight
earlier that day.
80
00:03:14,523 --> 00:03:17,227
Who buys a quart of mint chip
ice cream? You buy a pint.
81
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,966
Mutter, Peter. We mutter.
82
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,704
Sorry, this is all so new.
83
00:03:21,704 --> 00:03:22,906
Hey, what's that?
84
00:03:23,306 --> 00:03:26,613
Oh, every night watchman
has a six-inch portable TV
85
00:03:26,613 --> 00:03:28,249
broadcasting
a middle-of-the-night,
86
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:30,788
sparsely attended
Oakland A's game.
87
00:03:30,788 --> 00:03:32,959
Welcome back to A's baseball:
88
00:03:33,059 --> 00:03:35,798
"The biggest 'who cares'
of professional sports."
89
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,134
Bottom of the fourth now, Tim.
90
00:03:37,234 --> 00:03:39,371
Which Oakland A is batting next?
91
00:03:39,371 --> 00:03:42,010
I've said it before and I'll
say it again, Greg...
92
00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:43,246
who cares.
93
00:03:43,246 --> 00:03:45,852
Oh, a couple more things, Peter.
94
00:03:45,952 --> 00:03:47,154
And these are very important.
95
00:03:47,154 --> 00:03:50,193
First, these are the giant vats
96
00:03:50,193 --> 00:03:52,131
that hold all of
the brewery's beer.
97
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:54,736
You must protect them
at all costs.
98
00:03:54,836 --> 00:03:55,805
Whoa.
99
00:03:55,905 --> 00:03:59,546
Yep, I spent many nights
fantasizing about throwing
100
00:03:59,546 --> 00:04:01,817
the world's biggest
keg party in here.
101
00:04:01,917 --> 00:04:04,556
So, Peter, you ready to
become a night watchman?
102
00:04:04,556 --> 00:04:07,962
Does Dave Lapoff
like giant Latina butts?
103
00:04:07,962 --> 00:04:09,498
You know he do!
104
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:13,473
♪ ♪
105
00:04:15,143 --> 00:04:16,680
So I said, Denise,
it's your wedding,
106
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,984
if you want to have it outdoors,
have it outdoors.
107
00:04:18,984 --> 00:04:21,189
Did I miss the memo where
the mother of the groom
108
00:04:21,289 --> 00:04:23,026
is now in charge of the wedding?
109
00:04:23,026 --> 00:04:24,328
Okay, now just sit tight
for a minute,
110
00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:26,466
I got to go check on Doris.
111
00:04:29,438 --> 00:04:30,875
That Doris is a riot.
112
00:04:30,975 --> 00:04:34,281
81, she still gets her hair
permed every month.
113
00:04:34,381 --> 00:04:35,751
Do you know she walks here?
114
00:04:35,852 --> 00:04:39,926
And she plays golf twice a week
with her sister, who's 90.
115
00:04:39,926 --> 00:04:41,930
Sharp as a tack, still drives.
116
00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:43,133
Stewie, are we almost done here?
117
00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:44,301
I just needed a quick touch-up
118
00:04:44,401 --> 00:04:46,005
so I can look
like that missing dog.
119
00:04:46,005 --> 00:04:47,341
We are completely done.
120
00:04:47,441 --> 00:04:49,813
Brian, say hello to $1,000.
121
00:04:49,813 --> 00:04:52,552
Wow, Stewie, this is
actually pretty good.
122
00:04:52,552 --> 00:04:54,890
At cosmetology school,
I was the only one
123
00:04:54,890 --> 00:04:56,325
who came back after lunch.
124
00:04:56,325 --> 00:04:57,862
ANNOUNCER: Cosmetology school:
125
00:04:57,962 --> 00:05:01,369
we spell "school" with a "U"
for legal reasons.
126
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:04,241
(faint crowd chatter over TV)
127
00:05:04,241 --> 00:05:06,980
SPORTSCASTER:
And a big hello to all our night watchman viewers
128
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,416
on the East Coast.
129
00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:11,389
Time for you guys to unwrap
that six-hour sandwich
130
00:05:11,389 --> 00:05:13,561
and listen to me
call foul balls.
131
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:16,265
- (bat cracks)
- Fouled off. Oh and one.
132
00:05:16,265 --> 00:05:18,203
(vehicle approaching)
133
00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:19,906
(gasps) Bad guys.
134
00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:21,643
(engine turns off)
135
00:05:21,643 --> 00:05:24,649
This is it, Peter.
Remember your training.
136
00:05:24,649 --> 00:05:26,653
(yelling)
137
00:05:26,653 --> 00:05:28,724
Ah! Take whatever you want!
138
00:05:30,026 --> 00:05:31,262
Good evening, my good sir.
139
00:05:31,395 --> 00:05:33,299
We are an all-principal
drinking group
140
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,771
called "Principals with Vices."
141
00:05:35,771 --> 00:05:36,940
"Vice Principals"?
142
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,511
Ah, so you got it!
143
00:05:38,611 --> 00:05:40,380
Leonard said no one
would get it.
144
00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:41,449
You hear that, Leonard?
145
00:05:41,449 --> 00:05:42,417
Yeah, I heard it.
146
00:05:42,519 --> 00:05:46,325
Leonard's the principal
of an elementary school,
147
00:05:46,325 --> 00:05:48,898
which in our world
makes him my "beyotch."
148
00:05:48,998 --> 00:05:51,269
Anyway, like most principals,
149
00:05:51,269 --> 00:05:52,739
we stole the driver's ed car
150
00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:54,743
and have been cruising around
town asking women
151
00:05:54,743 --> 00:05:56,680
if we can have
their attention, please.
152
00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:58,116
PRINCIPAL 3:
They have not given it.
153
00:05:58,116 --> 00:06:00,253
No, they have not,
other Leonard.
154
00:06:00,353 --> 00:06:02,525
Two-thirds of all principals
are named Leonard.
155
00:06:02,525 --> 00:06:04,829
So now it's 2:00 a. m.,
the bars are closed,
156
00:06:04,829 --> 00:06:07,134
and we are all still
quite divorced.
157
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,271
Can you provide us
with more alcohol?
158
00:06:09,405 --> 00:06:11,810
Uh, I don't know,
let me check the rules.
159
00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:16,085
Oh.
160
00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,789
Aw.
161
00:06:17,789 --> 00:06:20,060
I don't know why they
wrote the card that way.
162
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,863
Are you sure you
can't let us in?
163
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:24,268
I'll show you a picture
of a naked student.
164
00:06:24,268 --> 00:06:25,370
That's my son!
165
00:06:25,370 --> 00:06:27,174
Oh, well, I have others.
166
00:06:27,174 --> 00:06:29,011
No, that's him again.
167
00:06:29,011 --> 00:06:31,015
Nope, well, that's also him.
168
00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:32,384
Okay, these are all Chris.
169
00:06:32,384 --> 00:06:35,457
How about instead we give you
$20 per beer?
170
00:06:35,558 --> 00:06:36,760
Whoa, hang on.
171
00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:38,396
Are you saying
you'll give me cash
172
00:06:38,396 --> 00:06:40,968
just to let you come in here
and drink after hours?
173
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,004
You betcha.
174
00:06:42,004 --> 00:06:43,908
Holy crap, I'm gonna be rich.
175
00:06:43,908 --> 00:06:45,611
Come on in!
176
00:06:45,711 --> 00:06:47,247
♪ ♪
177
00:06:47,347 --> 00:06:49,552
CHRIS:
That was the night a secret after-hours bar
178
00:06:49,552 --> 00:06:51,523
opened up in the back
of the brewery.
179
00:06:51,523 --> 00:06:52,959
I'm Chris Griffin.
180
00:06:53,059 --> 00:06:55,598
Naked photos were taken
of me without my consent,
181
00:06:55,598 --> 00:06:57,100
and my dad doesn't care.
182
00:07:01,576 --> 00:07:03,012
(dance music playing)
183
00:07:03,012 --> 00:07:05,016
(indistinct chatter)
184
00:07:05,016 --> 00:07:06,586
Place is packed, Peter.
185
00:07:06,586 --> 00:07:07,487
Word's really gotten around
186
00:07:07,487 --> 00:07:09,559
about your after-hours
beer operation.
187
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,695
Thanks, Quagmire.
188
00:07:10,695 --> 00:07:12,064
It's only the second night,
189
00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:13,266
and I'm already raking it in.
190
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:14,869
Peter, what if you get caught?
191
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:17,742
Impossible. I know where all
the security cameras are,
192
00:07:17,842 --> 00:07:19,980
and we got a massive supply
of beer.
193
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,752
The only problem is running
this place all by myself.
194
00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:24,254
You know, we could
probably help out.
195
00:07:24,254 --> 00:07:25,858
Really? That'll be great.
196
00:07:25,858 --> 00:07:28,496
- I could even cut you in
on the action. - I'm down.
197
00:07:28,597 --> 00:07:30,835
Look, I'm a cop and this
is technically illegal,
198
00:07:30,835 --> 00:07:33,006
but I suppose I could
turn a blind eye
199
00:07:33,106 --> 00:07:35,878
if I were to be put in charge
of the music.
200
00:07:35,978 --> 00:07:37,649
Done. What kind of music
you thinking?
201
00:07:37,649 --> 00:07:41,255
My favorite genre: songs that
yell the name of places.
202
00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:43,359
You want to see
a guy lose his mind?
203
00:07:43,359 --> 00:07:45,765
Put on Huey Lewis'
"Heart of Rock And Roll."
204
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,635
That little baby wastes no time.
205
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,371
It's like,
"Oh, let's just hit play
206
00:07:49,371 --> 00:07:50,407
on this fun little song."
207
00:07:50,407 --> 00:07:52,110
"New York! New York!"
208
00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:53,346
It's sick.
209
00:07:53,346 --> 00:07:54,616
"Free Fallin'" is a good one.
210
00:07:54,616 --> 00:07:56,052
That song names a lot of places.
211
00:07:56,052 --> 00:07:58,791
Oh, sure. If your definition
of "a lot" is three.
212
00:07:58,791 --> 00:08:01,697
Reseda, Ventura Boulevard,
Mulholland Drive.
213
00:08:01,797 --> 00:08:04,803
Yeah, not exactly moving
this guy's needle.
214
00:08:04,803 --> 00:08:06,339
Isn't there four in that song?
215
00:08:06,339 --> 00:08:08,109
"America" is in the second line.
216
00:08:08,109 --> 00:08:09,078
Doesn't count. Too general.
217
00:08:09,178 --> 00:08:11,516
But the chorus in "Kokomo"
where The Beach Boys
218
00:08:11,516 --> 00:08:13,554
list all the islands
near Kokomo?
219
00:08:13,654 --> 00:08:16,025
The one where they mention
the singular Bahama?
220
00:08:16,025 --> 00:08:20,200
You know, not all the Bahamas,
just the one Bahama?
221
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,272
Oh, baby. Huge needle mover.
222
00:08:23,272 --> 00:08:25,911
(dance music playing)
223
00:08:30,253 --> 00:08:33,861
Wow, who knew running a
speakeasy would be so lucrative?
224
00:08:33,961 --> 00:08:36,332
Yeah, but you guys, now that
we're secretly raking in
225
00:08:36,332 --> 00:08:38,102
all this cash,
let's promise each other
226
00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,841
we're not gonna blow it
on mistresses and drug habits.
227
00:08:40,941 --> 00:08:41,643
Agreed.
228
00:08:41,743 --> 00:08:43,847
(sniffs) Hey, so quick update...
229
00:08:43,947 --> 00:08:46,553
Okay, the glory hole kissing
booth is up and running.
230
00:08:46,653 --> 00:08:48,757
I think that thing's gonna be
a big money-maker!
231
00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:51,295
Everything in this place
is a big money-maker.
232
00:08:51,395 --> 00:08:53,299
I know, it's all
going perfectly.
233
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,869
Well, except Keith
from accounting
234
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:56,740
keeps talking about
the guitar in his office,
235
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:59,044
hoping somebody'll ask him to--
uhp, he went and got it.
236
00:08:59,144 --> 00:09:02,552
Yeah, I kind of mess around
a little bit...
237
00:09:02,552 --> 00:09:04,455
You know, it's not even
so much his singing,
238
00:09:04,556 --> 00:09:07,294
it's that every song
has a tedious backstory.
239
00:09:07,294 --> 00:09:08,897
♪ ♪
240
00:09:08,997 --> 00:09:10,701
I'll be honest,
this next one I wrote
241
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,574
during a pretty dark period
in my life
242
00:09:13,574 --> 00:09:14,809
when I was out in the desert,
243
00:09:14,909 --> 00:09:17,380
staring up at that
star-filled sky.
244
00:09:17,380 --> 00:09:19,284
This one's called
"Big Blue Marble."
245
00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:20,554
♪ ♪
246
00:09:20,554 --> 00:09:21,556
See, the thing about
the desert is...
247
00:09:21,723 --> 00:09:25,296
Ugh, God, go home and be
with your newborn, Keith.
248
00:09:25,296 --> 00:09:28,102
♪ ♪
249
00:09:28,102 --> 00:09:30,908
All right, Brian, now remember:
I'm the one who found you,
250
00:09:30,908 --> 00:09:32,745
and I'm taking you
back to your family.
251
00:09:32,845 --> 00:09:34,114
Why are you dressed like that?
252
00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:35,584
People aren't just
going to give a baby
253
00:09:35,584 --> 00:09:37,287
a thousand dollars, Brian.
254
00:09:37,287 --> 00:09:38,857
So, I've created a character.
255
00:09:38,857 --> 00:09:41,730
I'm a construction worker
from "around the way"
256
00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:43,700
named Bobby Beccorino.
257
00:09:46,272 --> 00:09:47,340
Yeah, what's up, chief?
258
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:49,144
Bobby Beccorino
from around the way.
259
00:09:49,144 --> 00:09:52,184
How's it hangin'? Me? Probably
stuck to my frickin' thigh
260
00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:54,989
right now 'cause I sweat
so much during construction,
261
00:09:55,123 --> 00:09:55,991
know what I'm sayin'?
262
00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:57,795
I'm sorry. Who are you?
263
00:09:57,929 --> 00:10:00,400
Oh, I'm a whole plate
of pancakes, pal.
264
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,803
Name's Bobby Beccorino.
265
00:10:01,903 --> 00:10:03,106
You know, from around the way?
266
00:10:03,206 --> 00:10:05,243
♪ ♪
267
00:10:05,243 --> 00:10:06,913
Oh, my God! Rover!
268
00:10:06,913 --> 00:10:08,584
Yeah, he was wanderin'
around the site
269
00:10:08,684 --> 00:10:10,588
where I do all
my construction stuff.
270
00:10:10,588 --> 00:10:12,491
Maybe you've seen it,
it's around the way.
271
00:10:12,592 --> 00:10:14,662
I haven't heard of
a construction site nearby.
272
00:10:14,762 --> 00:10:15,664
Oh, yeah. It's there.
273
00:10:15,764 --> 00:10:17,802
Just hop in your car,
drive around the road,
274
00:10:17,802 --> 00:10:19,739
and when you get to the way?
Go around it.
275
00:10:19,739 --> 00:10:21,008
Okay, well, thanks for...
276
00:10:21,008 --> 00:10:23,647
Yeah, ol' Bobby Beccorino
was layin' drywall
277
00:10:23,647 --> 00:10:25,684
with the boys when
he spotted this idiot
278
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:27,788
takin' a big dump
near my bandsaw.
279
00:10:27,889 --> 00:10:31,663
Okay, sorry, but...
don't you hang drywall?
280
00:10:31,663 --> 00:10:33,032
Listen up, you little cranberry.
281
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:34,736
Bobby Beccorino's
been layin' drywall
282
00:10:34,736 --> 00:10:36,005
since you were in Pampers!
283
00:10:36,005 --> 00:10:39,144
Okay! I'm sorry!
Here's your money.
284
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:42,718
♪ ♪
285
00:10:45,591 --> 00:10:47,160
Nice place you got here...
286
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,031
(grunting) Whoa.
287
00:10:49,031 --> 00:10:50,500
What the hell?
288
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,970
So, Rover Four,
289
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:55,176
you thought you could escape
from Chase's TikTok house?
290
00:10:55,276 --> 00:10:57,180
Rover Four? TikTok house?
291
00:10:57,180 --> 00:10:59,919
This weekend I'll use you
for my most dangerous
292
00:10:59,919 --> 00:11:02,090
and humiliating viral stunt yet.
293
00:11:02,224 --> 00:11:05,129
And your fate will be that
of Rovers One through Three.
294
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:07,133
Then, it'll be time
to find Rover Five.
295
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,572
Enjoy your last couple
of days alive.
296
00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:11,308
Last couple days alive?
297
00:11:11,308 --> 00:11:13,145
Wait, no, no. This is a mix-up.
298
00:11:13,246 --> 00:11:14,448
Oh, God.
299
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:15,818
Coming here was a mistake.
300
00:11:15,818 --> 00:11:17,788
Like buying that German plunger.
301
00:11:17,788 --> 00:11:20,961
Ah, das gut! Yah! Yah! Yah!
302
00:11:20,961 --> 00:11:24,201
I am vurthless!
I am vurthless rubber boy!
303
00:11:24,201 --> 00:11:26,305
Punish me now!
304
00:11:26,305 --> 00:11:29,077
(dance music playing)
305
00:11:29,177 --> 00:11:30,881
(indistinct chatter)
306
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:33,987
We got a problem!
We're out of beer!
307
00:11:33,987 --> 00:11:35,524
Crap. What are we gonna do?
308
00:11:35,524 --> 00:11:38,797
Why don't you just use the money
you made to buy more beer?
309
00:11:38,897 --> 00:11:41,435
Hey, so quick update
about the money...
310
00:11:46,078 --> 00:11:47,347
♪ ♪
311
00:11:47,347 --> 00:11:49,184
Well, that's the last of 'em.
312
00:11:49,284 --> 00:11:52,157
I can't believe I used up
all the beer, you guys.
313
00:11:52,257 --> 00:11:53,627
I am in so much trouble.
314
00:11:53,727 --> 00:11:56,465
MOSES:
Well, well, well...
315
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:57,735
Surprised to see me?
316
00:11:57,835 --> 00:11:59,071
We can't actually see you.
317
00:11:59,171 --> 00:12:00,507
Yeah, you're still
in the shadows.
318
00:12:00,608 --> 00:12:02,578
Damn it. Hold on.
319
00:12:02,578 --> 00:12:05,283
Well, well, well.
320
00:12:05,383 --> 00:12:07,354
Yeah, still not seeing you, bud.
321
00:12:07,454 --> 00:12:08,624
Maybe walk forward more?
322
00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:11,630
I did that, man.
H-How about now?
323
00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:13,634
Yeah, I think I can see you now.
324
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,704
- Are your shoes black?
- Brown.
325
00:12:15,704 --> 00:12:17,140
Okay, yeah, I can't see you.
326
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,946
Oh, for the love
of Luther Vandross!
327
00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:22,952
Peter, the truth is, every
night watchman steals beer.
328
00:12:22,952 --> 00:12:25,290
The key is only stealing
a single bottle a week
329
00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:26,425
over 30 years.
330
00:12:26,425 --> 00:12:28,897
Course, I'm man enough
to admit I ran out of beer
331
00:12:28,897 --> 00:12:30,901
from a party once
when I first started.
332
00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:34,441
My plan was to replace it
by robbing a beer truck.
333
00:12:34,542 --> 00:12:36,880
But I could never find
the right team to pull it off.
334
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,719
You also didn't have Smash
Mouth's "Walkin' on the Sun."
335
00:12:39,719 --> 00:12:41,188
I'm sorry. Smash what now?
336
00:12:41,188 --> 00:12:43,961
Every successful heist
after 1998
337
00:12:44,061 --> 00:12:46,231
began with Smash Mouth's
"Walkin' on the Sun."
338
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:50,641
Yours didn't have it.
Hence, unsuccessful heist.
339
00:12:50,741 --> 00:12:52,377
Well, that makes no sense.
340
00:12:52,377 --> 00:12:54,481
(song intro playing)
341
00:12:55,985 --> 00:12:57,387
- I'm in.
- I'm in. - I'm in.
342
00:12:57,487 --> 00:12:58,356
I'm in.
343
00:12:58,489 --> 00:13:00,861
Well, all right.
Maybe this crew could pull off
344
00:13:00,861 --> 00:13:02,832
the beer truck heist
I never could.
345
00:13:02,832 --> 00:13:05,838
Let's do it. Joe's got access
to a police helicopter.
346
00:13:05,838 --> 00:13:08,610
- And I know how to fly.
- I'll bring the snacks!
347
00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:10,413
That's the guy we never got.
348
00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:12,283
We never got the snack guy.
349
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,323
♪ ♪
350
00:13:15,423 --> 00:13:17,561
Chris, have you seen Brian?
351
00:13:17,561 --> 00:13:19,632
"How are you today, Chris?"
352
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,370
is a nice way to begin
a conversation.
353
00:13:22,470 --> 00:13:24,809
I'm sorry. It's just
that he and I had this plan
354
00:13:24,909 --> 00:13:26,478
to make him look
like a missing dog
355
00:13:26,478 --> 00:13:27,682
and collect reward money.
356
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:28,850
But I can't find him anywhere
357
00:13:28,950 --> 00:13:30,654
and his cell phone
is going to voice mail.
358
00:13:30,654 --> 00:13:32,357
Chris, you've got
to help me find Brian.
359
00:13:32,457 --> 00:13:36,365
Hang on, let me get out
my rude little boy translator.
360
00:13:36,498 --> 00:13:39,939
Oh, you said, "Will you please
help me find Brian?"
361
00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:42,645
Why, yes, that sounds
lovely, Stewie.
362
00:13:42,645 --> 00:13:46,318
(sighs) Okay, Chris. Your agent
said you wanted more scenes.
363
00:13:46,318 --> 00:13:47,487
These are the scenes.
364
00:13:47,588 --> 00:13:49,291
(engine rumbling)
365
00:13:54,936 --> 00:13:57,608
Mint Milano? Mint Milano?
366
00:13:57,608 --> 00:14:00,113
I can't eat those without milk.
367
00:14:00,113 --> 00:14:02,117
The mother-lovin' Snack Guy.
368
00:14:02,117 --> 00:14:04,354
This is it, fellas.
Everyone ready?
369
00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:05,323
Wait...
370
00:14:05,490 --> 00:14:08,262
- ("Walkin' on the Sun" plays)
- Now we're ready.
371
00:14:08,262 --> 00:14:12,170
♪ It ain't no joke, I'd like
to buy the world a toke ♪
372
00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:15,811
♪ And teach the world to sing
in perfect harmony ♪
373
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:20,453
♪ And teach the world to snuff
the fires and the liars ♪
374
00:14:20,453 --> 00:14:23,593
♪ Hey, I know it's just a song,
but it's spice for the recipe ♪
375
00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:27,668
♪ This is a love attack, I know
it went out, but it's back... ♪
376
00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:28,770
What do I do now?
377
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:30,406
We call the Weekapaug Brewery
378
00:14:30,406 --> 00:14:33,012
and redirect the truck
to our brewery.
379
00:14:33,112 --> 00:14:36,485
Then why the hell did I have to
be on the roof of the-- Ah!
380
00:14:36,485 --> 00:14:37,855
(yelling)
381
00:14:39,491 --> 00:14:40,493
Ah!
382
00:14:40,493 --> 00:14:42,565
(all screaming)
383
00:14:43,533 --> 00:14:44,936
Ah...!
384
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,977
(all gasping)
385
00:14:49,077 --> 00:14:50,113
Way to go, Peter.
386
00:14:50,246 --> 00:14:54,087
This whole thing was a big
waste of time thanks to you.
387
00:14:54,087 --> 00:14:56,391
Hey, did anyone unstrap Joe?
388
00:14:56,391 --> 00:14:57,628
(gasps)
389
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,038
No. We did not.
390
00:15:03,139 --> 00:15:05,143
♪ ♪
391
00:15:06,946 --> 00:15:09,351
Wait, this is where you
dropped Brian off?
392
00:15:09,351 --> 00:15:12,056
- This is a TikTok house.
- How do you know that?
393
00:15:12,157 --> 00:15:15,196
Every room in the house
is glowing from ring lights.
394
00:15:19,539 --> 00:15:20,574
Can I help you?
395
00:15:20,674 --> 00:15:22,410
We're looking for our dog.
396
00:15:22,410 --> 00:15:23,446
Dog? (gasps)
397
00:15:23,613 --> 00:15:26,418
I think Chase brought a dog
to Dangerous Stunt Beach
398
00:15:26,418 --> 00:15:27,655
to do a dangerous stunt.
399
00:15:27,655 --> 00:15:29,659
Oh, no. We got to help him.
400
00:15:29,659 --> 00:15:30,961
Did you hear that, Stewie?
401
00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:33,700
Already on your phone?
402
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,236
The world's up here, Stewie.
403
00:15:35,336 --> 00:15:39,111
Your mind's a prison,
and only you hold the key.
404
00:15:39,111 --> 00:15:41,215
♪ ♪
405
00:15:42,718 --> 00:15:45,958
All right, Chris. We don't
have much time to find Brian.
406
00:15:45,958 --> 00:15:48,730
- Maybe we split...
- Oh, my God. Stewie, look!
407
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:52,938
(screaming)
408
00:15:52,938 --> 00:15:55,476
Don't worry, Brian!
We're here to save you!
409
00:15:55,577 --> 00:15:57,280
Stewie! Chris! Help!
410
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,217
The guy's right over there
with the remote!
411
00:15:59,317 --> 00:16:01,355
♪ ♪
412
00:16:01,455 --> 00:16:02,758
We got you, buddy!
413
00:16:02,858 --> 00:16:04,294
All right, Chris.
Here's the plan:
414
00:16:04,394 --> 00:16:06,198
When I give you the signal,
grab the remote,
415
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,333
take control of the drone,
416
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,306
and I'll be here to safely
guide Brian ashore. Got it?
417
00:16:10,306 --> 00:16:12,477
Got it. Wait. What's the signal?
418
00:16:12,477 --> 00:16:13,412
What?
419
00:16:13,513 --> 00:16:15,584
The signal. You said
you'd give me a signal.
420
00:16:15,584 --> 00:16:16,418
What is it?
421
00:16:16,519 --> 00:16:17,588
You'll know the signal
when you see it.
422
00:16:17,688 --> 00:16:18,690
Now go!
423
00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:21,696
Yeah, look. I hate to be
getting into the weeds here,
424
00:16:21,796 --> 00:16:23,399
but I'm just saying
if I was aware
425
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,735
of the signal going in,
I might...
426
00:16:24,735 --> 00:16:26,038
Chris! I don't understand
427
00:16:26,038 --> 00:16:28,008
why you're making this
into such an issue.
428
00:16:28,008 --> 00:16:29,144
I mean, it's-it's a signal!
429
00:16:29,244 --> 00:16:31,549
It-It'll be
an unmistakable signal.
430
00:16:31,549 --> 00:16:35,657
Okay, see, even you classifying
the signal as "unmistakable"
431
00:16:35,657 --> 00:16:38,663
presumes there to be various
categories of signals,
432
00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:41,101
of which I am not
at all aware, mind you...
433
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,738
BRIAN:
Hey! Shut up and get me down!
434
00:16:42,838 --> 00:16:44,107
Just go.
435
00:16:45,343 --> 00:16:47,748
Everybody, look! Up in the sky!
436
00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:50,052
It's a bird!
It's a plane! It's...
437
00:16:51,088 --> 00:16:53,259
"The Lubed-Up Butt Mutt."
438
00:16:53,259 --> 00:16:54,361
(clicks)
439
00:16:58,235 --> 00:17:01,208
ALL (chanting):
Butt Mutt! Butt Mutt! Butt Mutt!
440
00:17:01,308 --> 00:17:04,180
Oh, my God.
I'm sponsored content.
441
00:17:04,281 --> 00:17:06,653
Stewie! Give Chris the signal!
442
00:17:06,753 --> 00:17:09,659
(laughter)
443
00:17:09,659 --> 00:17:11,061
What's wrong with you people?
444
00:17:11,061 --> 00:17:13,934
I am a hardworking,
accomplished author!
445
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:15,203
STEWIE:
Brian...
446
00:17:15,203 --> 00:17:16,806
I am an accomplished author!
447
00:17:16,806 --> 00:17:17,908
STEWIE:
Brian...
448
00:17:17,908 --> 00:17:20,079
- I am an author!
- STEWIE: Brian...
449
00:17:20,179 --> 00:17:23,118
I mostly use my computer
for Bella Thorne's OnlyFans.
450
00:17:23,219 --> 00:17:24,989
There you go. Proud of you, man.
451
00:17:24,989 --> 00:17:25,991
Hey, Chris!
452
00:17:25,991 --> 00:17:27,260
♪ ♪
453
00:17:27,393 --> 00:17:28,462
A thumbs-up?
454
00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:31,235
That's the signal
you couldn't tell me about?
455
00:17:31,335 --> 00:17:33,405
(sighs)
This is bush league, man.
456
00:17:33,405 --> 00:17:34,407
(growls)
457
00:17:34,407 --> 00:17:35,811
Ah!
458
00:17:35,811 --> 00:17:37,548
(screaming)
459
00:17:37,548 --> 00:17:39,251
(grunting)
460
00:17:40,453 --> 00:17:41,856
Ah!
461
00:17:41,956 --> 00:17:43,560
(gurgling)
462
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,329
Ah! Ah!
463
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:48,235
- (grunting)
- (Brian screaming)
464
00:17:50,774 --> 00:17:52,845
Ah!
465
00:17:52,945 --> 00:17:54,180
What the deuce?
466
00:17:55,984 --> 00:17:57,721
(groaning)
467
00:18:00,159 --> 00:18:02,063
(screaming)
468
00:18:02,063 --> 00:18:04,301
(grunting)
469
00:18:11,683 --> 00:18:14,421
(both screaming)
470
00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:16,526
We're gonna crash!
471
00:18:16,526 --> 00:18:17,728
(both yell)
472
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,705
What the hell is this stuff?
473
00:18:22,705 --> 00:18:24,942
X-Y "Fire and Ice" Jelly.
474
00:18:24,942 --> 00:18:26,311
Ooh, 'cause it feels
really goo--
475
00:18:26,311 --> 00:18:27,748
Oh! Too hot! Too hot!
476
00:18:27,848 --> 00:18:28,883
Ooh, it feels really goo--
477
00:18:28,883 --> 00:18:30,554
Oh! Too hot! Too hot!
478
00:18:30,554 --> 00:18:33,560
♪ ♪
479
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:35,429
(phone buzzing)
480
00:18:35,429 --> 00:18:38,202
That's Preston. He's waiting
for me in my office.
481
00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:40,272
Time to fess up and admit
I'm the reason
482
00:18:40,406 --> 00:18:42,076
the brewery's out of beer.
483
00:18:42,076 --> 00:18:43,312
Well, it's been fun.
484
00:18:43,312 --> 00:18:46,018
Peter, this is all our faults.
485
00:18:46,018 --> 00:18:48,122
Let us come with you
and share the blame.
486
00:18:48,222 --> 00:18:50,426
No, Cleveland.
For once in my life,
487
00:18:50,426 --> 00:18:52,163
I got to be a man
about something
488
00:18:52,163 --> 00:18:55,236
and take full
and total responsibility.
489
00:18:57,407 --> 00:18:59,277
Preston!
There's a Black guy outside
490
00:18:59,277 --> 00:19:00,580
and he stole all the beer.
491
00:19:00,714 --> 00:19:02,216
What are you talking
about, Griffin?
492
00:19:02,216 --> 00:19:04,889
The brewery has plenty of beer.
493
00:19:04,889 --> 00:19:05,891
How'd it go?
494
00:19:05,891 --> 00:19:07,928
MOSES:
Well, well, well...
495
00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:08,930
Moses?
496
00:19:09,030 --> 00:19:10,166
Surprised to see me?
497
00:19:10,266 --> 00:19:11,869
Yeah, again, we cannot see you.
498
00:19:11,869 --> 00:19:15,276
You're really bad at this whole
"emerging from darkness" thing.
499
00:19:15,276 --> 00:19:17,280
Oh, sweet Patti LaBelle.
500
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,721
Peter, the brewery has beer
again because I put it there.
501
00:19:20,721 --> 00:19:23,392
Wait! Are you one of those
magical Black guys
502
00:19:23,492 --> 00:19:25,363
who helps white people
with their problems
503
00:19:25,363 --> 00:19:26,298
and then disappears?
504
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,503
The kind Hollywood
had no problem making
505
00:19:28,503 --> 00:19:31,475
many movies about until
a shockingly recent time?
506
00:19:31,475 --> 00:19:34,715
No, Peter. I just used every
bottle of beer I stole
507
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:37,420
over the last 30 years
to refill the vats.
508
00:19:37,521 --> 00:19:38,255
You did?
509
00:19:38,355 --> 00:19:39,892
I always thought
my retirement dream
510
00:19:39,992 --> 00:19:41,094
would be to move to Oakland.
511
00:19:41,094 --> 00:19:44,702
But man, there's a buttload
of homeless people there.
512
00:19:44,702 --> 00:19:47,440
But what do you expect given
the laissez-faire politics
513
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,912
of a California Democrat
like Gavin Newsom?
514
00:19:49,912 --> 00:19:51,214
Hey, hey, buddy? Buddy?
515
00:19:51,314 --> 00:19:53,118
I only talk about
one politician,
516
00:19:53,118 --> 00:19:54,855
and that's Mayor McCheese.
517
00:19:54,855 --> 00:19:56,058
Oh, I'm sorry.
518
00:19:56,058 --> 00:19:58,095
So, I returned,
refilled the beer,
519
00:19:58,095 --> 00:20:00,099
and I'm taking my old job back.
520
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:03,338
Wow. 30 years' worth
of beer in one night?
521
00:20:03,338 --> 00:20:04,842
That must have taken a while.
522
00:20:04,842 --> 00:20:06,211
♪ ♪
523
00:20:06,311 --> 00:20:07,548
You know, that works out
524
00:20:07,548 --> 00:20:11,221
to over 1,500 bottles
of beer on the wall.
525
00:20:11,221 --> 00:20:13,593
Which reminds me of a song.
526
00:20:13,693 --> 00:20:14,595
A-one, a-two...
527
00:20:14,595 --> 00:20:16,264
Damn it, Keith.
Go home to your wife.
528
00:20:16,364 --> 00:20:17,968
She's totally overwhelmed.
Go on!
529
00:20:22,678 --> 00:20:23,680
♪ ♪
530
00:20:23,813 --> 00:20:26,284
PETER: Well,
we learned a lot this week.
531
00:20:26,284 --> 00:20:28,388
But unfortunately,
we all then died
532
00:20:28,489 --> 00:20:30,059
of carbon monoxide poisoning.
533
00:20:30,159 --> 00:20:32,531
Probably because I took the
batteries out of the detector
534
00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:35,837
and put them in an old
Star Tours visor that lights up.
535
00:20:35,837 --> 00:20:37,508
Was it worth it? I don't know.
536
00:20:37,508 --> 00:20:38,910
It wasn't so great indoors,
537
00:20:38,910 --> 00:20:41,415
but it was pretty cool
to wear outside at night.
538
00:20:41,415 --> 00:20:42,918
Lot of head nods.
539
00:20:43,018 --> 00:20:46,258
No conversations, but people
are wicked timid after COVID.
540
00:20:46,391 --> 00:20:47,528
Joe's the one who found us.
541
00:20:47,528 --> 00:20:50,667
I think he grabbed some stuff
before he called it in.
542
00:20:51,736 --> 00:20:54,007
I'm gonna miss you, pal.
543
00:20:54,975 --> 00:20:57,447
- Nice. Star Tours?
- Yeah.
544
00:20:57,447 --> 00:20:58,550
- When did you...
- Hey, I'd love to chat,
545
00:20:58,650 --> 00:21:01,354
but I'm a little timid
after COVID.
546
00:21:01,404 --> 00:21:05,954
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