Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,413 --> 00:00:05,564
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,599 --> 00:00:07,566
English is, of course,
3
00:00:07,601 --> 00:00:09,246
a member of the
Germanic sub-family
4
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:12,637
of the Indo-European...
Isn't this fascinating?
5
00:00:12,673 --> 00:00:15,557
Must be what TV's
like after you're dead.
6
00:00:15,593 --> 00:00:17,993
All right, Normie,
turn off that claptrap.
7
00:00:18,029 --> 00:00:19,105
The cavalry has arrived.
8
00:00:19,129 --> 00:00:20,924
I just raided Vincent's
Video Emporium
9
00:00:20,948 --> 00:00:22,081
for the finest
10
00:00:22,116 --> 00:00:23,381
'50s sci-fi fare.
11
00:00:23,417 --> 00:00:24,477
All right. Yeah, get ready
12
00:00:24,501 --> 00:00:26,935
for a rollicking evening
of, uh, pod people,
13
00:00:26,970 --> 00:00:29,421
invisible monsters and
wisecracking robots.
14
00:00:29,457 --> 00:00:32,658
Ooh... danger,
danger! Danger, danger!
15
00:00:32,693 --> 00:00:33,904
I love this stuff. Yeah?
16
00:00:33,928 --> 00:00:35,739
Oh, now there's
one of my favorites...
17
00:00:35,763 --> 00:00:37,396
Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
18
00:00:37,432 --> 00:00:38,442
All right. Good one.
19
00:00:38,466 --> 00:00:40,144
A particularly
trenchant analysis
20
00:00:40,168 --> 00:00:41,878
of the collective
American psyche
21
00:00:41,902 --> 00:00:43,179
during the Cold War era,
22
00:00:43,203 --> 00:00:44,953
with the pod people representing
23
00:00:44,989 --> 00:00:49,141
the dehumanizing effect
of the McCarthy hearings.
24
00:00:49,176 --> 00:00:52,811
I guess we got, uh, plenty
of other movies there.
25
00:00:52,846 --> 00:00:54,124
Here we go.
26
00:00:54,148 --> 00:00:55,675
Day the Earth Stood
Still... a real classic. Oh...
27
00:00:55,699 --> 00:00:57,515
Klaatu barada nicto...
28
00:00:58,536 --> 00:00:59,812
For my money, the finest
29
00:00:59,836 --> 00:01:00,947
allegorical retelling
30
00:01:00,971 --> 00:01:02,616
of the life of Christ on film.
31
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,272
Even better than E.T.
32
00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:06,842
Next batter.
33
00:01:06,877 --> 00:01:08,960
Forbidden Planet.
34
00:01:08,996 --> 00:01:10,407
Well, that's a good choice.
35
00:01:10,431 --> 00:01:13,031
It's a witty revamp of
Shakespeare's The Tempest
36
00:01:13,067 --> 00:01:14,844
with Robbie the
Robot standing in
37
00:01:14,868 --> 00:01:16,012
for the sprite Ariel.
38
00:01:16,036 --> 00:01:17,318
Well, so what'll it be?
39
00:01:19,407 --> 00:01:20,884
This, then, was the height
40
00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:22,386
of the literary use
of Middle English.
41
00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:23,692
By the end of...
42
00:01:27,498 --> 00:01:29,865
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
43
00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:33,502
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
44
00:01:33,537 --> 00:01:36,104
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
45
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:38,974
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
46
00:01:39,009 --> 00:01:44,346
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
47
00:01:44,381 --> 00:01:47,333
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
48
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:52,737
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
49
00:01:52,773 --> 00:01:57,409
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
50
00:01:57,445 --> 00:01:59,945
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
51
00:01:59,981 --> 00:02:02,614
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
52
00:02:02,649 --> 00:02:07,853
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
53
00:02:07,888 --> 00:02:10,422
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
54
00:02:10,458 --> 00:02:13,058
♪ People are all the same ♪
55
00:02:13,094 --> 00:02:17,296
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
56
00:02:36,974 --> 00:02:37,451
Look, are you sure...?
57
00:02:37,645 --> 00:02:39,123
Check out Mr. Evan
Drake over there,
58
00:02:39,147 --> 00:02:40,574
acting like he
owns the place, eh?
59
00:02:40,598 --> 00:02:41,976
Thinks that he's just
60
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,978
some, uh, big shot
corporate executive, eh?
61
00:02:44,002 --> 00:02:45,346
Doesn't have to pay attention
62
00:02:45,370 --> 00:02:46,981
to the common man
like you and me?
63
00:02:47,005 --> 00:02:48,899
We're not important enough.
64
00:02:48,923 --> 00:02:50,290
Well, actually,
Cliff, if it helps
65
00:02:50,325 --> 00:02:51,958
to alleviate this
envy that seems to be
66
00:02:51,993 --> 00:02:53,793
eating you up right
now, studies have shown
67
00:02:53,828 --> 00:02:55,722
that rich people are
40 to 50% less happy
68
00:02:55,746 --> 00:02:56,829
than most of us.
69
00:02:56,865 --> 00:02:58,564
Oh, come on, that's a crock.
70
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,040
Well, of course it is, but we
have to cling to it, don't we?
71
00:03:02,387 --> 00:03:03,486
Thank you.
72
00:03:03,522 --> 00:03:04,637
Damn.
73
00:03:04,672 --> 00:03:06,072
Bad news?
74
00:03:06,107 --> 00:03:07,640
Yeah, a very
important client and I
75
00:03:07,675 --> 00:03:09,375
were going to take
the corporate yacht
76
00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:11,678
out for a little cruise,
but he had to hurry home.
77
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:12,924
Illness in the family?
78
00:03:12,948 --> 00:03:15,581
No, they overthrew
his government.
79
00:03:15,616 --> 00:03:16,944
Ah, on the weekend,
to boot, huh?
80
00:03:16,968 --> 00:03:19,852
Just can't make
plans with dictators.
81
00:03:19,888 --> 00:03:21,888
Sam,
82
00:03:21,923 --> 00:03:22,889
why don't you join me?
83
00:03:22,924 --> 00:03:24,401
We're heading out
to Martha's Vineyard.
84
00:03:24,425 --> 00:03:26,209
Oh, I'd love to.
85
00:03:26,244 --> 00:03:29,229
Why don't we make it a
romantic weekend, huh?
86
00:03:29,264 --> 00:03:31,931
Oh, well, I'm
flattered, Evan, that's...
87
00:03:31,967 --> 00:03:33,699
No, no, no, no.
88
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,501
I meant bring Rebecca along.
89
00:03:35,537 --> 00:03:38,187
Rebecca? Why
would I want to do that?
90
00:03:38,223 --> 00:03:40,290
Well, the last I heard,
you two were a hot item.
91
00:03:40,325 --> 00:03:42,570
Uh, well, uh... I'm not going
to hear any more about it.
92
00:03:42,594 --> 00:03:44,471
I don't know, man... No,
no, no. You two are coming.
93
00:03:44,495 --> 00:03:45,540
Now, just call my secretary.
94
00:03:45,564 --> 00:03:47,684
She'll give you all
the details, all right?
95
00:03:48,383 --> 00:03:49,916
Oh, Mr. Drake? Hmm.
96
00:03:49,951 --> 00:03:51,629
Um, I'm an insignificant cog
97
00:03:51,653 --> 00:03:54,220
in the vast machinery
of your corporation.
98
00:03:54,255 --> 00:03:55,387
Nice to meet you.
99
00:03:55,423 --> 00:03:57,134
You being a rich
and powerful guy,
100
00:03:57,158 --> 00:04:00,037
you might think you'd let
yourself get all fat and lazy,
101
00:04:00,061 --> 00:04:02,990
but you look like you keep
yourself in pretty good shape.
102
00:04:03,014 --> 00:04:05,198
Well, I get to the gym
a few times a week.
103
00:04:05,233 --> 00:04:07,261
Good, good, then maybe
you can catch the truck
104
00:04:07,285 --> 00:04:08,818
that's towing your Rolls.
105
00:04:12,106 --> 00:04:15,191
I love to see rich
people haul butt.
106
00:04:18,813 --> 00:04:20,212
Well, let's see here.
107
00:04:20,248 --> 00:04:22,392
What little mermaid
would like me
108
00:04:22,416 --> 00:04:24,461
to scale her tail this weekend?
109
00:04:24,485 --> 00:04:27,486
What, you're not
taking Miss Howe?
110
00:04:27,522 --> 00:04:29,867
No, I thought I'd
have fun instead.
111
00:04:29,891 --> 00:04:32,169
I'm tired of barking
up that tree.
112
00:04:32,193 --> 00:04:34,093
I thought Mr. Drake
told you to take her.
113
00:04:34,129 --> 00:04:35,506
Well, I'll just, uh, tell him
114
00:04:35,530 --> 00:04:36,741
we broke up, or something.
115
00:04:36,765 --> 00:04:38,175
Besides...
116
00:04:38,199 --> 00:04:40,699
I got this, uh, gorgeous
dental hygienist
117
00:04:40,735 --> 00:04:42,746
that I've been
trying to impress,
118
00:04:42,770 --> 00:04:44,681
and flossing every
day just isn't doing it.
119
00:04:45,974 --> 00:04:47,406
She'll love this yacht thing.
120
00:04:47,441 --> 00:04:49,153
She's, uh, into
money in a big way.
121
00:04:49,177 --> 00:04:50,509
It's amazing how superficial
122
00:04:50,544 --> 00:04:51,961
some people can be, isn't it?
123
00:04:51,996 --> 00:04:52,962
Oh, tell me about it.
124
00:04:52,998 --> 00:04:54,063
Good thing for her
125
00:04:54,099 --> 00:04:55,979
she's got a great
set of hooters.
126
00:04:56,767 --> 00:04:58,179
Good luck. Mmm, thank you.
127
00:04:58,203 --> 00:04:59,168
Hold it, hold it...
128
00:04:59,203 --> 00:05:00,419
hold it, hold it, hold...
129
00:05:00,455 --> 00:05:02,155
Look, no, I'm
telling you, Normie,
130
00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:04,290
recent research into
the Revolutionary War
131
00:05:04,326 --> 00:05:06,659
indicates that the, uh,
defenders of this area
132
00:05:06,694 --> 00:05:09,011
were not called the,
uh, Minutemen after all.
133
00:05:09,046 --> 00:05:11,547
Oh, like every history
book is then wrong, right?
134
00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:14,200
Oh, they were actually
called the Minute Men.
135
00:05:15,403 --> 00:05:16,947
A lot of them
under three feet tall,
136
00:05:16,971 --> 00:05:17,937
as a matter of fact.
137
00:05:17,973 --> 00:05:19,271
Right.
138
00:05:19,306 --> 00:05:20,802
Way back in history,
people were shorter.
139
00:05:20,826 --> 00:05:21,957
All right, fine.
140
00:05:21,993 --> 00:05:22,958
Take, for example, the, uh,
141
00:05:22,994 --> 00:05:24,138
the Knights of the Round Table.
142
00:05:24,162 --> 00:05:25,288
Yeah? Genuine midgets.
143
00:05:25,312 --> 00:05:29,332
You're a very lonely
man, aren't you?
144
00:05:31,536 --> 00:05:34,103
Julie, sweetheart, come
on, it's the middle of winter.
145
00:05:34,139 --> 00:05:35,750
You're going to
have to bundle up.
146
00:05:35,774 --> 00:05:38,041
I don't know, pack a
wool bikini, or something.
147
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:39,275
All right.
148
00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:40,804
Okay, bye-bye.
149
00:05:40,828 --> 00:05:42,745
Whee. All right.
150
00:05:42,781 --> 00:05:44,347
Julie is set.
151
00:05:44,382 --> 00:05:45,460
Sammy, come here.
152
00:05:45,484 --> 00:05:46,928
Let me see if I
got this straight.
153
00:05:46,952 --> 00:05:48,117
What?
154
00:05:48,152 --> 00:05:49,464
Drake invited you and Rebecca.
155
00:05:49,488 --> 00:05:50,453
Mm-hmm.
156
00:05:50,489 --> 00:05:53,456
Uh, Rebecca's got the
major hots for Drake.
157
00:05:53,492 --> 00:05:55,837
You take Julie
instead of Rebecca.
158
00:05:55,861 --> 00:05:58,862
Rebecca is left standing
alone on the dock.
159
00:05:58,897 --> 00:06:00,908
Hey, what's that in her hand?
160
00:06:00,932 --> 00:06:04,333
Oh, must be your severed head.
161
00:06:04,369 --> 00:06:05,568
Uh, don't worry about it.
162
00:06:05,604 --> 00:06:08,187
Rebecca's not even going
to find out she was invited.
163
00:06:08,222 --> 00:06:10,556
Well, Sam, looks like
we're going to be shipmates.
164
00:06:10,592 --> 00:06:12,941
What do you mean?
165
00:06:12,977 --> 00:06:15,328
I just saw Evan outside,
and he told me the good news.
166
00:06:15,363 --> 00:06:16,529
I'm going to be your date.
167
00:06:16,564 --> 00:06:17,980
Uh, well, here... uh...
168
00:06:18,016 --> 00:06:19,259
here's the bad news.
169
00:06:19,283 --> 00:06:21,412
I've already invited
somebody else.
170
00:06:21,436 --> 00:06:22,752
Un-invite her.
171
00:06:22,787 --> 00:06:24,620
Sam, I have been dying
172
00:06:24,655 --> 00:06:26,238
for this chance to
get to know Evan
173
00:06:26,274 --> 00:06:27,240
in a social setting.
174
00:06:27,275 --> 00:06:28,541
He only sees me
175
00:06:28,576 --> 00:06:31,127
as some tough
businesswoman in tailored suits.
176
00:06:31,162 --> 00:06:33,096
I want him to see
me in sportswear.
177
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,948
No... you don't understand.
178
00:06:35,984 --> 00:06:37,828
See, Julie is really
important to me.
179
00:06:37,852 --> 00:06:39,764
I've been working
like crazy to-to set
180
00:06:39,788 --> 00:06:43,428
something up with her
for almost three days now.
181
00:06:45,126 --> 00:06:46,370
All right, all right.
182
00:06:46,394 --> 00:06:49,428
I'll, uh, I'll call Evan
and I'll try to fix it up.
183
00:06:49,463 --> 00:06:52,943
I... what am... how am I going
to explain Julie tagging along?
184
00:06:52,967 --> 00:06:54,216
Oh, I don't know.
185
00:06:54,251 --> 00:06:56,235
Tell him she's your sister.
186
00:06:56,270 --> 00:07:01,840
My sister? Rebecca, this is
a hot, gorgeous, sexy woman.
187
00:07:01,876 --> 00:07:04,356
Yeah, he'll believe that.
188
00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:10,550
Oh, this looks just marvelous,
189
00:07:10,585 --> 00:07:12,184
Lorenzo, just marvelous.
190
00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:13,753
Grazie, signore.
191
00:07:13,788 --> 00:07:14,904
Thanks again, Evan,
192
00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:16,772
for, uh, making room
for my sister here
193
00:07:16,808 --> 00:07:17,823
on such short notice.
194
00:07:17,858 --> 00:07:19,458
Yeah, I really appreciate that.
195
00:07:20,411 --> 00:07:21,627
This yacht must have
196
00:07:21,662 --> 00:07:22,645
cost a fortune!
197
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,792
Mmm.
198
00:07:24,816 --> 00:07:26,699
Well, did it?
199
00:07:28,403 --> 00:07:30,369
Well, the important
thing is that it
200
00:07:30,405 --> 00:07:31,681
gets me where I want to go.
201
00:07:31,705 --> 00:07:33,572
Ah. Yep.
202
00:07:33,607 --> 00:07:36,742
All I really need is a
boat beneath my feet
203
00:07:36,777 --> 00:07:38,877
and a star to guide her with.
204
00:07:38,913 --> 00:07:40,558
And of course, a helicopter pad.
205
00:07:42,617 --> 00:07:44,394
Oh, you have a
beautiful laugh, Julie.
206
00:07:44,418 --> 00:07:47,453
Doesn't she brighten
up the old tub, Lorenzo?
207
00:07:47,488 --> 00:07:50,289
It is like a ray of sunshine
to have a woman as beautiful
208
00:07:50,324 --> 00:07:52,558
as Miss Malone onboard.
209
00:07:52,594 --> 00:07:54,354
Oh, and of course you, too.
210
00:07:57,498 --> 00:07:58,592
Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.
211
00:07:58,616 --> 00:08:00,249
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Drake, it's nice...
212
00:08:00,284 --> 00:08:02,196
Wow, you must be very
proud of your brother.
213
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:04,765
He was one heck of
a pitcher, I'll tell you.
214
00:08:04,789 --> 00:08:06,450
It's too bad he's
not playing now,
215
00:08:06,474 --> 00:08:08,841
when he could be
making some real money.
216
00:08:08,877 --> 00:08:11,026
Isn't she sweet?
217
00:08:12,063 --> 00:08:13,757
You two are very
close, aren't you?
218
00:08:13,781 --> 00:08:14,892
Mm. Oh, yeah.
219
00:08:14,916 --> 00:08:17,850
She's, um, like a sister to me.
220
00:08:17,885 --> 00:08:19,480
I'm afraid I didn't have much
221
00:08:19,504 --> 00:08:20,947
in common with my brother.
222
00:08:20,971 --> 00:08:23,005
Oh, you, too... Same
with my brother.
223
00:08:23,041 --> 00:08:26,242
Julie, you told me you
didn't have another brother.
224
00:08:26,277 --> 00:08:27,371
Well... Uh, well...
225
00:08:27,395 --> 00:08:29,240
she doesn't, actually, but I do.
226
00:08:29,264 --> 00:08:31,342
Well, well, it's not
actually his brother.
227
00:08:31,366 --> 00:08:32,932
They're just such close friends
228
00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:35,284
that Sam likes to think
of him as his brother.
229
00:08:35,319 --> 00:08:36,346
We just don't have
230
00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:39,088
anything in common, that's all.
231
00:08:39,123 --> 00:08:41,123
Everything is ready, sir.
232
00:08:41,158 --> 00:08:42,253
Ah. Ah. Hey!
233
00:08:42,277 --> 00:08:43,587
Everyone help themselves here.
234
00:08:43,611 --> 00:08:45,211
I have to have a
word with the chef.
235
00:08:45,246 --> 00:08:47,057
Hey, I have three for
him, "Keep it coming."
236
00:08:47,081 --> 00:08:49,465
Whoo!
237
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,228
You know, this is kind of fun,
238
00:08:51,252 --> 00:08:54,253
pretending to have this
whole different personality.
239
00:08:54,288 --> 00:08:57,123
If you like it, you might
want to get one of your own.
240
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,927
Wow, would you look at this.
241
00:09:01,962 --> 00:09:05,197
Lobster, cracked crab, caviar...
242
00:09:05,232 --> 00:09:06,699
Hey, ham. Whoo!
243
00:09:09,787 --> 00:09:11,520
I wonder what this spread cost.
244
00:09:11,556 --> 00:09:13,801
You know, Julie, you
seem very concerned
245
00:09:13,825 --> 00:09:15,224
with the price of things.
246
00:09:15,259 --> 00:09:17,154
Don't you find
that a little rude?
247
00:09:17,178 --> 00:09:20,713
Well, it's not like I
asked him how old he is.
248
00:09:20,748 --> 00:09:22,147
What do you think?
249
00:09:22,183 --> 00:09:23,616
45? 50?
250
00:09:29,007 --> 00:09:31,018
Find anything to your liking?
251
00:09:31,042 --> 00:09:33,442
Actually, yes.
252
00:09:33,477 --> 00:09:35,878
So have I.
253
00:09:37,482 --> 00:09:39,549
So I guess your
cabin is that, uh,
254
00:09:39,584 --> 00:09:41,417
really big one upstairs, huh?
255
00:09:41,453 --> 00:09:42,768
Uh-huh.
256
00:09:42,804 --> 00:09:44,520
Ah, I'd really like to see it.
257
00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:48,468
Well, maybe I could take
you on the captain's tour
258
00:09:48,492 --> 00:09:49,669
right after dinner.
259
00:09:49,693 --> 00:09:51,193
Oh, I'd really like that.
260
00:09:51,228 --> 00:09:53,812
Do you think your
brother would mind?
261
00:09:53,848 --> 00:09:55,014
What brother?
262
00:09:55,049 --> 00:09:57,650
Ah. Great.
263
00:09:59,721 --> 00:10:01,498
Tonight is the night. Yeah.
264
00:10:01,522 --> 00:10:03,989
I can feel it in my bones.
265
00:10:04,024 --> 00:10:06,992
Right after dinner, I'm gonna
tell Evan how I really feel.
266
00:10:07,027 --> 00:10:09,005
Mmm. No, I'm gonna
show him how I feel.
267
00:10:09,029 --> 00:10:10,563
I'm going to seize the moment.
268
00:10:10,598 --> 00:10:11,775
Fine, do what you want.
269
00:10:11,799 --> 00:10:13,444
Right about then,
I'm going to be
270
00:10:13,468 --> 00:10:15,828
seizing Julie's headboard.
271
00:10:20,425 --> 00:10:22,358
Well...
272
00:10:22,393 --> 00:10:24,893
May I propose a toast?
273
00:10:24,929 --> 00:10:26,106
Oh, yeah. Yes.
274
00:10:26,130 --> 00:10:29,498
To a night full of
promise and possibilities.
275
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:30,710
Hear, hear. Hear, hear.
276
00:10:30,734 --> 00:10:33,054
Hear, hear, yeah.
277
00:10:49,807 --> 00:10:52,156
Well, I hope Lorenzo
has seen to everything.
278
00:10:52,192 --> 00:10:53,302
Julie, this is your cabin.
279
00:10:53,326 --> 00:10:54,637
I hope you find it comfortable.
280
00:10:54,661 --> 00:10:55,794
Thank you.
281
00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:57,173
I'll check in on you later, sis.
282
00:10:57,197 --> 00:10:58,274
Oh, uh, that's okay.
283
00:10:58,298 --> 00:10:59,976
I think I'm getting a headache.
284
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,165
Well, not to worry.
285
00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:03,281
I'll just drop by with
the old family cure.
286
00:11:06,507 --> 00:11:07,717
Your cabin, you two.
287
00:11:07,741 --> 00:11:08,973
Ah. Good night.
288
00:11:09,009 --> 00:11:10,108
Good night. Sleep tight.
289
00:11:10,143 --> 00:11:11,476
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
290
00:11:11,511 --> 00:11:12,794
I'm sure you don't have
291
00:11:12,829 --> 00:11:15,447
bedbugs on this boat,
or any other kind of bugs.
292
00:11:15,482 --> 00:11:16,298
Do they even have bugs
293
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:17,694
at sea? Well,
maybe water bugs...
294
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:19,551
Good night.
295
00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:22,616
What is my problem? Huh?
296
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,174
Every time I talk to him, I
sound like a complete idiot.
297
00:11:26,877 --> 00:11:28,443
Sam? Mm-hmm.
298
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,345
Did you ever get
tongue-tied with a woman?
299
00:11:30,381 --> 00:11:31,908
Oh, sure, lots of times.
300
00:11:31,932 --> 00:11:34,733
As a matter of fact, once we
had to go to the emergency room.
301
00:11:34,768 --> 00:11:36,284
They do have bugs at sea.
302
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,514
Oh, now...
303
00:11:37,538 --> 00:11:39,549
Hey, this is a
great room, isn't it?
304
00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:42,151
Too bad I won't be using it.
305
00:11:42,175 --> 00:11:44,042
Yeah, well, if I get
lucky, I won't, either.
306
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,856
Sam, do you have to
do that in front of me?
307
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:47,845
What? Oh, I'm sorry,
308
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,481
but Julie's a dental hygienist.
309
00:11:49,516 --> 00:11:51,883
This is gonna be the
first thing she checks.
310
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,101
Maybe the second.
311
00:11:55,188 --> 00:11:57,155
You know, I love it when
you talk stupid, Sam.
312
00:11:57,190 --> 00:11:59,157
Uh-huh.
313
00:11:59,192 --> 00:12:01,159
Didn't she just say
she had a headache?
314
00:12:01,194 --> 00:12:02,572
No, no. For Evan's benefit.
315
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:04,374
No, she's got the
kind of headache
316
00:12:04,398 --> 00:12:05,842
where you go straight to bed
317
00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:08,266
and take a couple of
Sammys every four hours.
318
00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:11,386
God, I cannot believe
319
00:12:11,421 --> 00:12:12,821
I'm sharing a
stateroom with you.
320
00:12:12,856 --> 00:12:14,222
I will never get
any mirror time.
321
00:12:14,257 --> 00:12:15,401
All right, all right.
322
00:12:16,593 --> 00:12:18,393
Thank you. Just...
323
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,143
Oh, what can I get you?
324
00:12:23,167 --> 00:12:24,167
Well, let's see.
325
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,600
Uh, today's my birthday.
326
00:12:25,635 --> 00:12:27,402
What's a good birthday drink?
327
00:12:27,437 --> 00:12:29,215
Oh, well, Sam always
buys a free beer
328
00:12:29,239 --> 00:12:30,706
for people on their birthday.
329
00:12:30,741 --> 00:12:32,191
Hey, that's great.
330
00:12:32,226 --> 00:12:33,792
Uh, actually,
331
00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:36,662
it's, uh, my girlfriend
here's birthday, too.
332
00:12:36,697 --> 00:12:39,714
Oh, well, she gets a
free beer, too, then.
333
00:12:41,001 --> 00:12:42,946
Funny thing is, it's
our birthday, also.
334
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,536
Oh, yeah, that's how we all met.
335
00:12:44,571 --> 00:12:46,054
We were, uh, at the same party.
336
00:12:46,089 --> 00:12:48,790
Wow.
337
00:12:48,825 --> 00:12:51,137
Free beers all around then, huh?
338
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:53,006
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, there,
339
00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:56,159
Mr. Hoof and Mouth, will
you put your thinking cap on?
340
00:12:56,183 --> 00:12:58,099
Hey, what are the
chances of those four people
341
00:12:58,135 --> 00:12:59,567
having a birthday
on the same day?
342
00:12:59,603 --> 00:13:01,720
The odds must be astronomical.
343
00:13:01,755 --> 00:13:03,722
I'm just glad I
was here to see it.
344
00:13:03,757 --> 00:13:05,985
Hey, hey... Woody,
Woody, Woody, Woody...
345
00:13:06,009 --> 00:13:07,587
Don't you think
it's the slightest bit
346
00:13:07,611 --> 00:13:09,589
of a coincidence that
those four people happen
347
00:13:09,613 --> 00:13:12,581
to have the exact
same birthday as...
348
00:13:12,616 --> 00:13:13,882
Cliff and me?
349
00:13:18,655 --> 00:13:20,188
Really?
350
00:13:21,257 --> 00:13:22,407
A pitcher will be fine.
351
00:13:22,442 --> 00:13:23,558
Yeah.
352
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,077
Two.
353
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:32,684
You've been working
on your hair all this time,
354
00:13:32,719 --> 00:13:34,953
and it still looks like that?
355
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:36,621
Like what?
356
00:13:36,656 --> 00:13:37,989
Like something you'd surf on.
357
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,191
Well...
358
00:13:39,226 --> 00:13:40,908
Give me the brush.
359
00:13:40,944 --> 00:13:42,427
Get down.
360
00:13:42,462 --> 00:13:43,595
All right.
361
00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:45,063
God...
362
00:13:45,098 --> 00:13:47,465
am I really gonna have the
guts to go through with this?
363
00:13:47,501 --> 00:13:48,733
Yes, I am.
364
00:13:48,768 --> 00:13:49,951
I have to.
365
00:13:49,987 --> 00:13:51,135
And now...
366
00:13:51,171 --> 00:13:52,671
There you go.
367
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:54,038
Yeah, that's great.
368
00:13:54,074 --> 00:13:55,701
This is really going
to be tricky tonight.
369
00:13:55,725 --> 00:13:56,858
Yeah.
370
00:13:56,893 --> 00:13:58,605
I have to create just
the right romantic mood
371
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,406
with Evan. Yeah.
372
00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:02,425
Do you have any suggestions
on how I could do that?
373
00:14:02,449 --> 00:14:03,649
Oh, yeah, that's easy.
374
00:14:03,684 --> 00:14:05,517
What you do...
375
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,352
is you knock on his
door, and you tell him
376
00:14:07,387 --> 00:14:08,820
that you're having
trouble sleeping,
377
00:14:08,856 --> 00:14:10,822
that you need some air.
378
00:14:10,858 --> 00:14:12,824
And then you get
him to take a little stroll
379
00:14:12,860 --> 00:14:14,359
around the deck with you,
380
00:14:14,394 --> 00:14:16,595
and then when the...
the moment's right,
381
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:19,364
you tell him you'd
like to see him naked.
382
00:14:23,103 --> 00:14:24,480
Works for me. Yeah.
383
00:14:24,504 --> 00:14:25,682
I'm out of here.
384
00:14:25,706 --> 00:14:26,838
Okay.
385
00:14:28,341 --> 00:14:29,457
Good luck.
386
00:14:32,229 --> 00:14:34,479
I-I was just heading up on deck.
387
00:14:34,514 --> 00:14:36,664
I was just going
up on deck, too.
388
00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:37,782
I just changed my mind.
389
00:14:37,818 --> 00:14:39,133
I just changed my mind, too.
390
00:14:41,855 --> 00:14:43,971
Whoa-ho! That was quick.
391
00:14:44,007 --> 00:14:46,007
Was it everything
you thought it'd be?
392
00:14:49,229 --> 00:14:50,729
Sam, don't be stupid.
393
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,041
All right, here I go.
394
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,197
Go on.
395
00:14:57,988 --> 00:14:59,933
I changed my mind,
decided to get some fresh air.
396
00:14:59,957 --> 00:15:01,000
Me, too.
397
00:15:01,024 --> 00:15:02,240
Oh, but I forgot my...
398
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,276
So did I.
399
00:15:05,045 --> 00:15:06,790
Would you do something
about that damn Julie?
400
00:15:06,814 --> 00:15:07,879
What?
401
00:15:07,915 --> 00:15:08,959
She keeps heading up on deck
402
00:15:08,983 --> 00:15:10,159
every time I open up the door.
403
00:15:10,183 --> 00:15:11,427
Julie? What the
hell's she doing?
404
00:15:11,451 --> 00:15:12,567
We got a date.
405
00:15:12,603 --> 00:15:14,714
That would probably
send me to the rail, too.
406
00:15:14,738 --> 00:15:16,705
Here I go again.
407
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:20,408
You ready for
the Captain's tour?
408
00:15:20,444 --> 00:15:21,754
Oh, I don't know.
409
00:15:21,778 --> 00:15:23,840
I don't think I'm
dressed for it.
410
00:15:23,864 --> 00:15:25,274
Maybe you could help me
411
00:15:25,298 --> 00:15:27,778
pick out something.
412
00:15:29,953 --> 00:15:31,319
Oh, my God!
413
00:15:31,355 --> 00:15:32,554
What?
414
00:15:32,589 --> 00:15:34,067
I just saw Evan
go in Julie's cabin,
415
00:15:34,091 --> 00:15:36,469
and my life has no meaning.
416
00:15:36,493 --> 00:15:37,659
You're crazy.
417
00:15:37,694 --> 00:15:38,826
I'm not, I saw it.
418
00:15:38,862 --> 00:15:40,695
Shoot me now!
419
00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:50,672
J-Julie?
420
00:15:52,309 --> 00:15:54,276
Uh, Sam,
421
00:15:54,311 --> 00:15:56,056
I told you I have a headache.
422
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,380
Oh, wait a minute. What...?
423
00:15:58,415 --> 00:15:59,781
Hey, Drake's in there, isn't he?
424
00:15:59,816 --> 00:16:01,683
Oh.
425
00:16:01,718 --> 00:16:03,063
Oh. Well...
426
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,053
I don't believe this. What...?
427
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,756
You're-You're throwing
me over for that guy? Why?
428
00:16:07,791 --> 00:16:09,418
Just because he has
more money than me?
429
00:16:09,442 --> 00:16:11,087
More money than
I'll ever hope to have?
430
00:16:11,111 --> 00:16:13,089
More money than
most of America h...?
431
00:16:13,113 --> 00:16:15,180
I'm losing this
argument, aren't I?
432
00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:19,284
Good night.
433
00:16:20,887 --> 00:16:22,303
Okay.
434
00:16:22,339 --> 00:16:25,807
I don't believe the
nerve of that woman.
435
00:16:25,842 --> 00:16:27,208
I believe it.
436
00:16:27,244 --> 00:16:29,077
Of course I believe it.
437
00:16:29,112 --> 00:16:30,628
Because she is nothing more than
438
00:16:30,664 --> 00:16:32,325
a classless bimbo. SAM: Hey,
439
00:16:32,349 --> 00:16:33,429
don't defend her to me.
440
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,055
To think, you know, I
have wasted three days
441
00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:42,157
on that lost cause.
442
00:16:42,192 --> 00:16:44,492
Three days?!
443
00:16:44,527 --> 00:16:46,945
Try wasting two years.
444
00:16:48,064 --> 00:16:49,230
Two years of waiting
445
00:16:49,266 --> 00:16:51,066
by the phone for him to call.
446
00:16:52,202 --> 00:16:55,169
Two years of making
excuses for why he didn't.
447
00:16:55,205 --> 00:16:56,838
Two years
448
00:16:56,873 --> 00:16:58,906
of dreaming about him
449
00:16:58,942 --> 00:17:00,959
and thinking about him.
450
00:17:00,994 --> 00:17:02,160
Living every
451
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:05,563
moment for Evan Gregory Drake.
452
00:17:05,599 --> 00:17:07,248
Wow.
453
00:17:07,284 --> 00:17:10,335
Boy, you sure have me beat.
454
00:17:12,689 --> 00:17:14,922
I'm just so...
455
00:17:14,958 --> 00:17:17,342
disappointed in him.
456
00:17:17,377 --> 00:17:19,217
Disappointed? Think how I feel.
457
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,545
I mean, he's in there
boinking my sister.
458
00:17:21,581 --> 00:17:22,581
Oh.
459
00:17:27,304 --> 00:17:30,604
I am never gonna have a husband
460
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:31,806
or babies.
461
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:33,085
Oh, now...
462
00:17:33,109 --> 00:17:34,659
Or a family.
463
00:17:34,694 --> 00:17:37,028
All I have is my stupid career,
464
00:17:37,064 --> 00:17:39,364
and I don't even like it.
465
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:43,235
Hey, come on now.
466
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:46,671
Listen, you-you
are a-a beautiful,
467
00:17:46,706 --> 00:17:47,850
intelligent woman.
468
00:17:47,874 --> 00:17:51,042
Oh, Sam, please, not now.
469
00:17:51,077 --> 00:17:52,677
What? Oh, come on.
470
00:17:52,712 --> 00:17:53,890
What-What you think that I'm...?
471
00:17:53,914 --> 00:17:56,314
Listen, I made a lot of
stupid passes at you,
472
00:17:56,349 --> 00:17:59,101
but this is not one of them.
473
00:17:59,136 --> 00:18:00,736
Hey...
474
00:18:00,771 --> 00:18:04,439
you are a terrific person.
475
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:06,519
You know, a lot of good
things are gonna happen,
476
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:09,589
and I'm sure the right
person's gonna come along.
477
00:18:09,613 --> 00:18:12,413
Well, what if he already
did, and I didn't know it
478
00:18:12,449 --> 00:18:14,415
because of Evan?
479
00:18:15,619 --> 00:18:16,796
Well, then, if you miss him,
480
00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:18,564
then he wasn't the right person.
481
00:18:19,823 --> 00:18:20,956
Oh.
482
00:18:24,278 --> 00:18:26,244
Really?
483
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,346
Yeah, really.
484
00:18:30,184 --> 00:18:32,500
Really?
485
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,798
Uh-oh.
486
00:18:35,822 --> 00:18:38,356
Um...
487
00:18:38,391 --> 00:18:42,127
listen you're in a very, uh...
488
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:44,156
emotional state
right now, and I...
489
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:47,149
I don't want to take
advantage of that.
490
00:18:47,184 --> 00:18:51,219
If you want me to
leave, you just say so.
491
00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:57,993
I don't seem to
be saying anything.
492
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:06,751
Oh...
493
00:19:06,786 --> 00:19:07,985
Oh, I'm sorry.
494
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:10,782
No, it's all right,
Evan, come in.
495
00:19:12,843 --> 00:19:15,660
Well, I can't sleep until I
get something off my chest.
496
00:19:15,695 --> 00:19:18,613
Well, read a book, man, and-and get
back to us in about three hours, huh?
497
00:19:18,649 --> 00:19:20,632
No, no. Go on, Evan.
498
00:19:20,667 --> 00:19:21,667
Sam...
499
00:19:22,668 --> 00:19:24,636
I got where I am in life
500
00:19:24,671 --> 00:19:26,671
because I have
always dealt honestly
501
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,990
with people I respect.
502
00:19:29,026 --> 00:19:31,542
Hey, that's great. Can we talk
about it in the morning, please?
503
00:19:31,578 --> 00:19:34,345
Sam, I tried to
seduce your sister.
504
00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:35,596
Oh, oh, oh...
505
00:19:35,631 --> 00:19:37,365
Oh, well, that's
a... that's a shocker.
506
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,367
Um, may...
507
00:19:39,402 --> 00:19:41,802
maybe we ought
to sleep on it, huh?
508
00:19:41,838 --> 00:19:44,072
Sam, please, give me
my day in court, will you?
509
00:19:45,542 --> 00:19:47,642
You see, I...
510
00:19:47,677 --> 00:19:49,422
Well, since my
marriage broke up,
511
00:19:49,446 --> 00:19:51,463
I have been feeling lonely.
512
00:19:52,849 --> 00:19:55,183
Still, a man gets urges.
513
00:19:55,219 --> 00:19:56,312
Mm. EVAN: But
514
00:19:56,336 --> 00:19:57,746
I guess I'm just
too old-fashioned
515
00:19:57,770 --> 00:20:01,339
to think I can find any
real happiness that way.
516
00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:03,357
Nothing happened, Sam.
517
00:20:03,393 --> 00:20:04,871
Oh... And I just
wanted to explain
518
00:20:04,895 --> 00:20:05,975
that to you, so, uh...
519
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:07,945
Uh, excuse me.
520
00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:09,914
Well... Good night.
521
00:20:09,949 --> 00:20:12,417
Yeah, yeah, good night.
522
00:20:12,452 --> 00:20:14,519
All right. Now...
523
00:20:14,554 --> 00:20:16,487
All right, okay.
524
00:20:16,522 --> 00:20:18,539
Where were we here?
525
00:20:18,575 --> 00:20:20,675
I have never loved
that man more than I do
526
00:20:20,710 --> 00:20:23,511
right at this very minute.
527
00:20:24,564 --> 00:20:25,708
Me, neither.
528
00:20:25,732 --> 00:20:26,697
So where were we?
529
00:20:26,732 --> 00:20:28,645
God, he needs someone so badly.
530
00:20:28,669 --> 00:20:30,635
Oh, come on!
531
00:20:30,670 --> 00:20:32,303
I haven't used that
"men have urges" line
532
00:20:32,338 --> 00:20:33,588
since I was in the fifth grade.
533
00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:35,573
Excuse me, Sam.
534
00:20:37,010 --> 00:20:38,559
What? Come on!
What are you gonna do?
535
00:20:38,595 --> 00:20:39,860
You gonna go chasing after him?
536
00:20:39,896 --> 00:20:40,861
No, no, no. Please.
537
00:20:40,897 --> 00:20:42,208
It isn't the right time.
538
00:20:42,232 --> 00:20:44,426
I just have to think.
539
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:45,633
I'm gonna go up on deck
540
00:20:45,668 --> 00:20:47,385
and sleep and look at the stars.
541
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,652
Uh, li-listen, you can't...
542
00:20:49,889 --> 00:20:51,367
You can't just work
me up like that,
543
00:20:51,391 --> 00:20:52,835
and then walk out
of here. Please.
544
00:20:52,859 --> 00:20:54,792
Sam... No, please.
545
00:20:54,828 --> 00:20:58,596
I believe you have a sister
with a vacancy sign on her door.
546
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,782
Right, right.
547
00:21:05,155 --> 00:21:07,655
Say hello to the stars
for me there, sweetheart.
548
00:21:07,690 --> 00:21:09,924
Boy, this... Okay, all right.
549
00:21:12,962 --> 00:21:14,640
Um, Julie?
550
00:21:14,664 --> 00:21:16,431
Listen, uh,
551
00:21:16,466 --> 00:21:18,832
why don't we let
bygones be bygones here?
552
00:21:18,868 --> 00:21:21,602
Um, you were
tempted, I was tempted,
553
00:21:21,637 --> 00:21:22,836
but what the hell?
554
00:21:22,872 --> 00:21:25,406
We're both
consenting adults, huh?
555
00:21:25,442 --> 00:21:27,408
I sure hope there's,
uh, some room
556
00:21:27,444 --> 00:21:29,444
in that bunk of yours for me.
557
00:21:30,547 --> 00:21:32,547
There isn't.
558
00:21:35,835 --> 00:21:38,035
I got to stay off boats, man.
559
00:21:43,526 --> 00:21:44,809
Hello.
560
00:21:44,844 --> 00:21:45,960
Hey, Carla.
561
00:21:45,995 --> 00:21:47,757
Did you pick your
mother-in-law up?
562
00:21:47,781 --> 00:21:48,913
Yeah.
563
00:21:48,949 --> 00:21:51,482
I tried to pawn her off
on some Hare Krishnas,
564
00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:52,878
but I think she's the only thing
565
00:21:52,902 --> 00:21:54,742
they won't take at the airport.
566
00:21:55,788 --> 00:21:57,488
So, how's it been going?
567
00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:58,617
Oh, fine.
568
00:21:58,641 --> 00:22:01,409
Well, they tried to pull
that old birthday gag
569
00:22:01,444 --> 00:22:03,422
where they get a
free round of beers,
570
00:22:03,446 --> 00:22:05,491
but I caught on
after the fifth round.
571
00:22:05,515 --> 00:22:09,150
Oh, Gomer, Gomer, Gomer.
572
00:22:09,186 --> 00:22:10,186
Geez!
573
00:22:10,220 --> 00:22:11,764
Well, lucky for me, I remembered
574
00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:14,600
that Mr. Clavin and Mr. Peterson
already had their birthday.
575
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:18,076
Those foam suckers
were in on this?!
576
00:22:18,111 --> 00:22:19,777
That does it. Where are they?
577
00:22:19,812 --> 00:22:21,095
Hey, hey, hey.
578
00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:22,480
I want to talk to you.
579
00:22:22,515 --> 00:22:24,616
Nobody stiffs this bar.
580
00:22:24,651 --> 00:22:25,994
Oh... Oh...
581
00:22:26,018 --> 00:22:27,285
You owe me
582
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,220
for five rounds.
583
00:22:29,256 --> 00:22:31,122
Hey, come here.
584
00:22:31,157 --> 00:22:33,357
Ooh.
585
00:22:34,977 --> 00:22:36,261
All right, Cliffie, we split up.
586
00:22:36,296 --> 00:22:37,962
There's no way she
can catch both of us.
587
00:22:37,997 --> 00:22:40,175
Norm-Norm, she's... she's
gonna come after me first, Normie.
588
00:22:40,199 --> 00:22:41,527
Yeah. Ready? No,
589
00:22:41,551 --> 00:22:42,517
no, no, no, no, no.
590
00:22:42,552 --> 00:22:43,518
No, no, no.
591
00:22:43,553 --> 00:22:44,796
No. Get back here. Get...
592
00:22:44,820 --> 00:22:46,740
Oh, oh. Ooh, ooh.
593
00:22:47,123 --> 00:22:48,256
Hey!
594
00:22:48,291 --> 00:22:49,641
Where's the tip?
40704
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.