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Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
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00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,962
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
3
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:06,565
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
4
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:11,703
♪ Taking a break from all your
worries sure would help a lot ♪
5
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:19,261
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
6
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:26,235
♪ Sometimes you want to go
where everybody knows your name ♪
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00:01:26,270 --> 00:01:30,172
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
8
00:01:30,207 --> 00:01:33,776
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
9
00:01:33,811 --> 00:01:35,610
♪ Troubles are all the same ♪
10
00:01:35,646 --> 00:01:41,583
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
11
00:01:41,618 --> 00:01:46,454
♪ You want to go where people
know people are all the same ♪
12
00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:50,926
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
13
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:12,130
So, did you get a chance
to see Carla's babies?
14
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:13,265
Oh, we sure did.
15
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,478
There are two of the cutest
little guys you've ever seen.
16
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:17,785
Ah, who do they look
like, Carla or Eddie?
17
00:02:17,821 --> 00:02:18,720
Well, they're twins.
18
00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:21,275
They kind of look
like each other.
19
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,677
What's this? "Carla's Tips."
20
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,145
Yeah, it was Carla's idea.
21
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:29,275
She does some of her
best thinking in labor.
22
00:02:29,299 --> 00:02:30,598
This is ridiculous.
23
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:33,235
How does she expect to be
tipped if she's not even here?
24
00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:35,750
Well, actually, she's doing a
lot better than she usually does.
25
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,085
Hello, Samuel. Hey.
26
00:02:39,109 --> 00:02:40,653
Well, pardon my
appearance, everybody.
27
00:02:40,677 --> 00:02:41,960
We always do.
28
00:02:42,679 --> 00:02:45,664
Sorry. I was covering for Carla.
29
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,310
Oh, hey, you're
doing a fine job.
30
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,718
The reason why I look
like I've been up all night
31
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:50,897
is because, well,
I've been up all night
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00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,954
reading that little opus.
33
00:02:52,990 --> 00:02:55,067
All right, Lust for Justice.
34
00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:56,603
Yeah, Vera talked
me into reading this.
35
00:02:56,627 --> 00:02:57,759
Oh, is she a fan?
36
00:02:57,794 --> 00:03:01,073
No, no. When Vera's talking,
I'll read just about anything.
37
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,864
Yeah. I almost ruptured a disc
38
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,544
delivering those Book
of the Month club copies
39
00:03:04,568 --> 00:03:06,568
and I decided to see what
all the hooha was about.
40
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,614
Yeah, two thumbs up, right?
41
00:03:07,638 --> 00:03:09,203
Oh, yeah. Finest piece of trash
42
00:03:09,239 --> 00:03:11,540
not written by a Junta or
Jackie in modern literature.
43
00:03:11,575 --> 00:03:15,343
Good Lord. Another piece
of salacious mind candy.
44
00:03:15,378 --> 00:03:18,479
God, this is over
600 pages long.
45
00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:20,560
Who could imagine he'd
know this many words?
46
00:03:20,584 --> 00:03:22,951
Yeah, well I checked. He
uses a lot of them twice.
47
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:26,616
Yeah, well, Frasier,
48
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,605
you want to borrow it then?
49
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,541
No way you'll
find me reading it.
50
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,209
Just look at these reviews.
51
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:32,510
Suit yourself.
52
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:36,048
"I couldn't put it down."
53
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,753
Cheers.
54
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:44,889
Oh, yeah, she is.
Miss Howe, Mr. Drake.
55
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:47,409
Mr. Drake?
56
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:48,988
I wonder what
he's calling about.
57
00:03:49,012 --> 00:03:50,929
Woody, how did he sound?
58
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,498
Happy, mad, pleasant, annoyed?
59
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:54,599
Well, he sounds
60
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:55,767
kind of weird.
61
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,864
Like an old woman with a
lisp and a thick German accent.
62
00:03:57,888 --> 00:04:00,739
Woody, that's his secretary.
63
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:03,041
Oh, well, then she
sounded pretty happy.
64
00:04:07,063 --> 00:04:09,564
Hey, Anthony, Annie, what's up?
65
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,201
Sam, I'm swallowing
my Tortelli pride
66
00:04:13,236 --> 00:04:14,552
to ask if
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00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,771
I might borrow five bucks.
68
00:04:16,806 --> 00:04:18,673
That was very difficult for him.
69
00:04:18,708 --> 00:04:19,708
Is it okay?
70
00:04:19,743 --> 00:04:22,043
I want to get a present
for my mom and the twins.
71
00:04:22,079 --> 00:04:23,061
Sure.
72
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,106
What are you going to get them?
73
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,263
Five bucks.
74
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,915
She'll like that.
75
00:04:27,951 --> 00:04:29,050
Thanks, Sam.
76
00:04:29,086 --> 00:04:31,063
Hey, I don't know when
I'll be able to pay you back.
77
00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:33,221
Job market's been
really bad lately.
78
00:04:33,256 --> 00:04:36,224
I haven't been able
to find a job anywhere.
79
00:04:36,259 --> 00:04:38,437
Actually, we have an opening
for a temporary waitress
80
00:04:38,461 --> 00:04:40,545
to sub for your mom.
What do you think?
81
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,675
Ah, I don't want
to be a waitress.
82
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,782
No, I was thinking about her.
83
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:46,813
No, I don't want
my wife to work.
84
00:04:46,837 --> 00:04:48,970
I could do it if I want to.
85
00:04:49,006 --> 00:04:50,788
Nuh-uh. Nuh-huh.
86
00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:52,674
Nuh-uh. Nuh-huh.
87
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:53,658
Nuh-uh.
88
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,254
W-Why don't you
two talk about it.
89
00:04:55,278 --> 00:04:56,712
Of course we will.
90
00:04:56,747 --> 00:04:59,514
Communication is the
cornerstone of our marriage.
91
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:02,134
Nuh-uh. Nuh-huh.
92
00:05:05,088 --> 00:05:07,439
Well, well, well. Hey, Normie,
93
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,124
look who's developed
a lust for justice.
94
00:05:09,159 --> 00:05:10,725
Yeah.
95
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,927
Do you mind? Lorenzo
is hemorrhaging.
96
00:05:12,962 --> 00:05:14,296
Oh, he dies.
97
00:05:14,331 --> 00:05:16,726
Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
98
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:17,916
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
99
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,879
We don't want to spoil the
part where Monica first comes in.
100
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,081
Were you shocked or what
when she turned out to be a man?
101
00:05:22,105 --> 00:05:23,116
Oh, no, no, I saw...
102
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:24,784
♪ I wish I was in
the land of cotton ♪
103
00:05:24,808 --> 00:05:26,152
♪ Old times there
are not forgotten ♪
104
00:05:26,176 --> 00:05:28,609
♪ Look away, look
away, look away... ♪
105
00:05:28,645 --> 00:05:31,429
You know, sometimes I like
to play little guessing games.
106
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,345
Do you like to play little
guessing games, guys?
107
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,229
Let's play a little
guessing game.
108
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:40,205
I just spoke to Mr. Drake
and he suggested that I hire
109
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,175
a young girl he knows
to cover for Carla.
110
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:46,411
Now, why do you suppose a
busy, important man like Mr. Drake
111
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:48,079
would take time out of his day
112
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:51,349
to get a simple
cocktail waitress a job?
113
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:54,013
Oh, oh, oh. Uh,
she's, uh... Norm.
114
00:05:54,037 --> 00:05:55,181
She's a friend of the family.
115
00:05:55,205 --> 00:05:56,104
Possible.
116
00:05:56,139 --> 00:05:57,488
He's, uh, paying off a debt.
117
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,189
I like that.
118
00:05:58,224 --> 00:05:59,140
He feels sorry for her.
119
00:05:59,175 --> 00:06:00,492
He does have a soft heart.
120
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,587
Maybe she's sleeping with him.
121
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,811
Of course that little
tramp is sleeping with him!
122
00:06:05,715 --> 00:06:07,560
Do you think I'm stupid?
123
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:08,978
Is this still part of
the guessing game?
124
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,002
No, no, no.
125
00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:17,225
This is just too perfect.
126
00:06:17,261 --> 00:06:21,379
Evan found a nice little bowl
for his goldfish to swim in.
127
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:25,166
Safe, out of the reach of
the other executive sharks.
128
00:06:25,202 --> 00:06:26,668
Obviously, he forgot about
129
00:06:26,703 --> 00:06:27,869
the Great White Sammy.
130
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:33,575
Well, we've reached
a compromise, Sam.
131
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:34,904
I'm taking the
relief waitress job.
132
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:35,910
Great.
133
00:06:35,946 --> 00:06:37,056
What's the compromise?
134
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,481
I'm letting her.
135
00:06:39,516 --> 00:06:41,249
Wait a minute.
136
00:06:41,285 --> 00:06:43,017
I am in charge around here
137
00:06:43,053 --> 00:06:44,697
and it is my responsibility
to hire people,
138
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:47,772
and I have just be informed
that I am hiring someone else.
139
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,405
They're going through
a tough time right now.
140
00:06:52,429 --> 00:06:54,913
Why don't you let
Annie work just for tips?
141
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,409
Tips?! Yeah.
142
00:06:56,433 --> 00:06:59,217
If I'm gonna work here,
I demand a set salary,
143
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,086
plus tips, plus
144
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:04,673
two coffee breaks,
plus weekends off.
145
00:07:04,708 --> 00:07:06,441
That is completely
out of the question.
146
00:07:06,476 --> 00:07:08,459
Okay, then I
demand that tip thing.
147
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,328
It's a deal.
148
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:19,938
I need a Scotch, rocks,
two white wines and a draft.
149
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,356
Okeydokey.
150
00:07:21,391 --> 00:07:24,359
Come on, corn cob. Arriba.
151
00:07:26,964 --> 00:07:29,809
Boy, I tell ya, Annie's
getting to be a real pro, huh?
152
00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:32,450
Yeah, she's sure rattling
off those drink orders, huh?
153
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:33,696
That's nothing.
How about the way
154
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,000
she puts me in my place?
155
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,424
Can you believe it?
156
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:44,028
Her first day on the job
and Evan's little tart is late.
157
00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:45,775
That's because she knows
I can't do anything about it
158
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,010
because her lover
boy is the big boss.
159
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:50,435
Isn't she just the
queen of gall?
160
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,521
Oh, no, that was
Charlemagne's wife, I think.
161
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,170
Well, you know,
if memory serves,
162
00:07:57,194 --> 00:07:59,577
I think her name was Cathy.
163
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,129
Listen, have you ever thought
164
00:08:01,165 --> 00:08:02,609
that you're reading
this whole thing wrong?
165
00:08:02,633 --> 00:08:05,133
That maybe she's just
a four-eyed little geek
166
00:08:05,169 --> 00:08:07,035
that Evan Drake
is trying to help out?
167
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,770
Right. And Cliff is leaving
his brain to science.
168
00:08:11,541 --> 00:08:13,686
I guess, you're still
covering for Carla, huh?
169
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,293
Guess again.
170
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,563
Okay, uh, here's
another possibility.
171
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,043
Instead of firing someone,
172
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,411
you send them to the
worst job in the organization.
173
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,835
Usually the poor schlep
just gets fed up and quits.
174
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,972
They've tried that on
me a bunch of times.
175
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,457
Works like a charm.
176
00:08:29,493 --> 00:08:32,494
You know, you might be right.
177
00:08:32,529 --> 00:08:34,729
She's probably just
some pathetic little dishrag
178
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,999
whose last great hope is
working here at Cheers.
179
00:08:38,035 --> 00:08:40,518
I got to stop jumping
to conclusions.
180
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:45,072
Excuse me. Is Miss Howe here?
181
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,691
Mr. Drake sent me.
182
00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:49,611
Oh, you must be the slut.
183
00:08:51,481 --> 00:08:52,697
Excuse me?
184
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:55,049
Slot. You're here
to fill the slot.
185
00:08:55,085 --> 00:08:57,235
Welcome to Cheers.
186
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,248
Why don't you just
follow me in to my office
187
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,000
and we'll fill out
your W-4 form.
188
00:09:01,024 --> 00:09:02,007
Great.
189
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:05,243
And I'll need a phone
number and a job history,
190
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,405
and a number we can call
191
00:09:06,429 --> 00:09:09,513
in case you meet with some
horrible disfiguring accident.
192
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:12,934
Sam?
193
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,235
What?
194
00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:19,590
Could I ask your opinion as a
passionate macho stud horse?
195
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:22,593
Sure. I may have to stamp
out the answer with my foot,
196
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,528
but go ahead.
197
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,961
Well, it's bad enough that
Anthony's lost all his ambition
198
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,361
and can't get a job. Right.
199
00:09:29,385 --> 00:09:31,097
But ever since I
started working here,
200
00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:33,220
he's become insanely jealous.
201
00:09:33,256 --> 00:09:35,440
Why am I late? When
am I coming home?
202
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:38,108
Why am I dressed
like such an ultra-fox?
203
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:41,446
I mean, if it weren't for the
six times a day we make love
204
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,631
he'd be no fun at all.
205
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,217
Six?
206
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,446
Whoo!
207
00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:50,955
Can't think of anything
that I can do six times a day.
208
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,059
Hit me again. Will you, Sam?
209
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,713
Listen, it's kind of
tough on a husband,
210
00:09:58,748 --> 00:10:00,326
you know, to have
his wife supporting him.
211
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,911
It's a... It's a pride thing.
212
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,918
It is a pride thing, Sam.
213
00:10:03,954 --> 00:10:07,689
I remember once when I was
out of work, Vera had to support us.
214
00:10:07,724 --> 00:10:11,175
I tell ya, the day that woman
left to deliver phone books...
215
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:16,915
The proudest day
of my life, actually.
216
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,444
What do you want me to do?
217
00:10:18,468 --> 00:10:19,645
You want me to talk to him?
218
00:10:19,669 --> 00:10:21,752
Would you, Sam? Thanks. Yeah.
219
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,471
Yeah, you're welcome.
220
00:10:23,507 --> 00:10:24,706
Hey, I saw that!
221
00:10:27,510 --> 00:10:31,479
Anthony! I can't believe
you're spying on me.
222
00:10:31,514 --> 00:10:34,165
Suddenly, everything
makes sense.
223
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,367
You're taller than me.
224
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,771
You have a Corvette
instead of a bus pass.
225
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,927
And your hair does
that cool blow-dry thing.
226
00:10:44,461 --> 00:10:46,477
And now you've got my wife.
227
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:48,746
Well, aren't you gonna
stay and fight for me?
228
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:49,847
What's the use?
229
00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:50,631
Hey, Anthony,
230
00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:51,861
come on, now, don't...
231
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:54,852
Have you ever had to
defend Vera's honor?
232
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,270
Well, no, not per se.
233
00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:57,550
But on more than one occasion
234
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,974
I've held her place in line
while she parked the car.
235
00:11:01,444 --> 00:11:03,277
Could you believe that?
236
00:11:03,313 --> 00:11:06,647
After I gave that man the
best 28 months of my life.
237
00:11:06,683 --> 00:11:07,977
Well, why don't you
go catch up with him
238
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,028
and patch things up.
239
00:11:09,052 --> 00:11:11,202
Forget it. He's a wimp
and he can't get a job.
240
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,338
And his jealousy is
ruining our marriage.
241
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,740
Not to mention that he left
the cap off the toothpaste
242
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,509
for, like, the
kajillionth day in a row.
243
00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:21,908
I had no idea that the
wounds were so deep.
244
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:26,050
Well, as far as I'm
concerned, he can just go and...
245
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,669
Oh, God!
246
00:11:27,704 --> 00:11:30,972
I've just lost the only
man I've ever loved.
247
00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:33,285
Oh, no, wait. Sit here, will ya?
248
00:11:33,309 --> 00:11:35,910
Listen, he'll come back.
Don't you worry about that.
249
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:36,744
Now, he's not gonna leave
250
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,746
a beautiful girl like you.
251
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,715
You really think so, Sam?
252
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:42,850
Oh, absolutely.
He'll be right back.
253
00:11:42,885 --> 00:11:45,405
I mean, do you really
think I'm beautiful?
254
00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:03,513
Hey, anyone see the conclusion
255
00:12:03,549 --> 00:12:05,427
of the White House
Murders last night?
256
00:12:05,451 --> 00:12:08,351
No! Don't say anything.
I've got it on tape.
257
00:12:08,386 --> 00:12:11,038
Did you believe it
was the vice-president?
258
00:12:11,073 --> 00:12:12,222
Please!
259
00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:13,574
How about where the First Lady
260
00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:15,220
popped out of a
pool of her own blood
261
00:12:15,244 --> 00:12:16,888
and strangled the
Russian ambassador?
262
00:12:16,912 --> 00:12:19,046
No... No...
263
00:12:19,081 --> 00:12:21,041
Yeah, that was
my reaction exactly.
264
00:12:22,501 --> 00:12:24,034
Well, thank you, one and all,
265
00:12:24,069 --> 00:12:25,936
for ruining yet
another plot for me.
266
00:12:25,972 --> 00:12:27,816
I'll be off, now,
but before I go...
267
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,174
there's something I'd
like to share with you.
268
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:35,045
In Citizen Kane. Rosebud
is the name of his sled.
269
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,880
In Murder on the Orient Express,
270
00:12:36,915 --> 00:12:38,565
everyone did it,
271
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,568
and Luke Skywalker's
father is Darth Vader.
272
00:12:41,603 --> 00:12:42,603
Ha!
273
00:12:45,507 --> 00:12:46,472
Ah, why doesn't the guy tell us
274
00:12:46,508 --> 00:12:47,457
something we don't know, huh?
275
00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:49,976
Darth Vader is Luke's father?
276
00:12:52,114 --> 00:12:53,580
See you soon.
277
00:12:53,615 --> 00:12:54,898
Bye.
278
00:12:54,934 --> 00:12:56,083
"Bye."
279
00:12:56,118 --> 00:12:58,585
How dare she put on
that sweetness and light
280
00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:00,832
when it's so obvious
she's nothing more
281
00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:02,434
than a sordid little harlot.
282
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:03,957
Hypocrite.
283
00:13:04,877 --> 00:13:08,762
Doing a great job,
Laurie. Keep it up!
284
00:13:08,798 --> 00:13:10,180
I need a couple of drafts, Sam.
285
00:13:10,216 --> 00:13:11,181
Okay.
286
00:13:11,217 --> 00:13:13,250
But, oh, you, uh,
287
00:13:13,285 --> 00:13:14,579
You and Anthony
still not talking?
288
00:13:14,603 --> 00:13:18,472
Talking? I can barely
stomach necking with him.
289
00:13:19,475 --> 00:13:20,507
He's a wimp.
290
00:13:20,543 --> 00:13:22,175
Not like my Sam.
291
00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:23,776
Tell me,
292
00:13:23,812 --> 00:13:26,446
how do you feel about
moonlit walks by the beach
293
00:13:26,481 --> 00:13:28,097
and dinner by a roaring fire?
294
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:31,001
I hate them. I-I can't
stand them. Bleah.
295
00:13:31,036 --> 00:13:32,614
Yay! Me, too. No, no, no.
296
00:13:32,638 --> 00:13:35,121
I was kidding. I love them.
297
00:13:35,157 --> 00:13:36,656
Too late.
298
00:13:38,043 --> 00:13:40,944
You know, if someone
ran over Laurie
299
00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:45,716
in the parking lot, I bet it
would look like an accident.
300
00:13:45,751 --> 00:13:46,795
Do you want to make 500 bucks?
301
00:13:46,819 --> 00:13:48,018
Just, don't...
302
00:13:48,054 --> 00:13:49,720
Listen to yourself.
303
00:13:49,755 --> 00:13:50,721
You're going crazy here.
304
00:13:50,756 --> 00:13:52,856
We both have a problem
with these new waitresses.
305
00:13:52,892 --> 00:13:54,558
Why don't we help
each other out, here?
306
00:13:54,593 --> 00:13:56,304
Oh, like I scratch your back...?
307
00:13:56,328 --> 00:13:59,396
And I'll scratch your front.
308
00:13:59,431 --> 00:14:00,608
What do you propose?
309
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,966
Well, all right, uh... now,
we don't know for sure
310
00:14:03,002 --> 00:14:04,702
that Laurie is Evan
Drake's mistress,
311
00:14:04,737 --> 00:14:05,936
so why don't you let a guy
312
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,437
who knows women better than they
313
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,155
know themselves
find out, all right?
314
00:14:09,191 --> 00:14:10,590
Okay.
315
00:14:10,625 --> 00:14:12,036
Laurie, you got a second here?
316
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,026
Yeah.
317
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,023
How do you feel about, uh...
318
00:14:15,047 --> 00:14:20,033
moonlit walks on the beach
with a dinner by a roaring fire?
319
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:22,052
Oh, I love those.
320
00:14:22,087 --> 00:14:24,115
Well, would you like to join me?
321
00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:27,190
Oh, no, no, but...
thanks for asking.
322
00:14:30,879 --> 00:14:32,079
She's his mistress.
323
00:14:36,117 --> 00:14:37,334
How do you know that?
324
00:14:37,369 --> 00:14:39,285
She turned me down.
325
00:14:40,105 --> 00:14:42,906
That just proves she
has a weak stomach.
326
00:14:42,942 --> 00:14:44,041
I'll handle this myself.
327
00:14:44,076 --> 00:14:45,554
Oh, wait a second.
Wait a minute.
328
00:14:45,578 --> 00:14:47,589
What about my little
problem here, you know?
329
00:14:47,613 --> 00:14:49,079
Sam, I don't have time to handle
330
00:14:49,114 --> 00:14:50,581
some silly little teenage crush.
331
00:14:50,616 --> 00:14:51,896
It is not silly.
332
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:57,737
Oh, yes, Miss Howe?
333
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,473
Laurie, my, you are
such a busy little bee.
334
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:02,287
I bet you just won't
have an ounce
335
00:15:02,311 --> 00:15:04,289
of energy left for
your leisure time.
336
00:15:04,313 --> 00:15:06,880
Oh, that's okay.
I've lots of energy.
337
00:15:06,915 --> 00:15:08,715
I'll bet you do.
338
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,361
You know, you and
I really haven't had
339
00:15:10,385 --> 00:15:11,896
a chance to get
to know each other.
340
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,399
What do you like to
do in your leisure time?
341
00:15:14,423 --> 00:15:17,024
Well, I, uh, I like to read.
342
00:15:17,059 --> 00:15:18,025
In bed?
343
00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:20,360
Sometimes.
344
00:15:20,396 --> 00:15:21,828
What else do you like to do...
345
00:15:21,863 --> 00:15:23,696
in bed?
346
00:15:23,732 --> 00:15:25,098
Sleep.
347
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,966
Oh, well.
348
00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:30,453
Let, let's imagine here,
that you are asleep in bed,
349
00:15:30,489 --> 00:15:32,155
and you roll over.
350
00:15:32,190 --> 00:15:33,489
Did you fall on the floor,
351
00:15:33,525 --> 00:15:35,525
or did something
impede your progress?
352
00:15:36,511 --> 00:15:37,260
Excuse me?
353
00:15:37,296 --> 00:15:38,378
Oh, nothing.
354
00:15:38,414 --> 00:15:39,646
It's must my warped,
355
00:15:39,681 --> 00:15:41,597
wonderful, wild sense of humor.
356
00:15:43,418 --> 00:15:44,384
By the way,
357
00:15:44,419 --> 00:15:45,530
how do you know Evan Drake?
358
00:15:45,554 --> 00:15:48,521
Well, he's uh... a friend.
359
00:15:48,557 --> 00:15:51,001
Oh. Well, then maybe
you could help me out.
360
00:15:51,025 --> 00:15:52,592
I was gonna buy him a gift.
361
00:15:52,628 --> 00:15:54,606
Perhaps you know
what size he wears
362
00:15:54,630 --> 00:15:56,741
in slacks or shirts
or jockey shorts.
363
00:15:56,765 --> 00:15:57,731
Oh... sure,
364
00:15:57,766 --> 00:15:59,832
but he doesn't wear jockeys.
365
00:15:59,868 --> 00:16:01,067
He wears boxers.
366
00:16:01,103 --> 00:16:02,435
Never mind, then.
367
00:16:04,739 --> 00:16:06,006
I'm gonna pop her.
368
00:16:06,041 --> 00:16:07,207
I'm gonna pop her.
369
00:16:07,242 --> 00:16:08,853
I'm gonna pop her
right in the kisser.
370
00:16:08,877 --> 00:16:09,888
I'm gonna pop her!
371
00:16:09,912 --> 00:16:11,912
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop!
372
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:14,242
That's good.
373
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,150
Now-Now do, uh, bacon frying.
374
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:27,193
You know, Darth Vader cannot
be Luke Skywalker's father.
375
00:16:29,181 --> 00:16:31,515
They don't have
the same last name.
376
00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:33,533
That's right, Woody.
377
00:16:33,568 --> 00:16:35,780
I'd better call out
the Imperial Guards.
378
00:16:37,572 --> 00:16:38,583
Stop it, Mr. Peterson.
379
00:16:38,607 --> 00:16:39,607
You're scaring me.
380
00:16:43,562 --> 00:16:45,345
You know, Sam,
381
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,614
I was just thinking
about us last night
382
00:16:47,650 --> 00:16:50,350
as I was in the tub
shaving my legs
383
00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:54,404
and pumicing the dead
skin off my knees and elbows
384
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,705
and waxing my...
385
00:16:55,740 --> 00:16:57,952
Uh, is-is there a point to this?
386
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,376
Do I have to say it?
387
00:16:59,411 --> 00:17:01,077
Can't you just feel it?
388
00:17:01,113 --> 00:17:02,256
Would you stop that?
389
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,541
This is silly. Now, just...
390
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,698
Of course it's silly,
but love is silly, isn't it?
391
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,001
Romeo and Juliet were silly
in a mad, passionate way.
392
00:17:08,036 --> 00:17:09,569
Are we silly, Sam?
393
00:17:09,605 --> 00:17:10,770
Are we?
394
00:17:10,805 --> 00:17:12,417
Y-You maybe, but I'm not.
395
00:17:12,441 --> 00:17:15,125
Listen, young lady, I happen
to be a very close friend
396
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,487
of your mother-in-law,
397
00:17:16,511 --> 00:17:17,627
and out of respect,
398
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,257
I'm ending this
conversation right now.
399
00:17:19,281 --> 00:17:21,381
You can end the
conversation, Sam,
400
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,383
but you can't end the feeling.
401
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,363
Honey, I'm flattered,
but this is nuts.
402
00:17:25,387 --> 00:17:26,652
I mean, I...
403
00:17:26,688 --> 00:17:28,833
You know, I'm old
enough to be your f...
404
00:17:28,857 --> 00:17:30,668
a youthful uncle, all right?
405
00:17:30,692 --> 00:17:33,026
I mean, when-when...
when I'm 60,
406
00:17:33,061 --> 00:17:35,490
you're-you're gonna be 22.
407
00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:38,415
Oh, my God, that can't be right.
408
00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:40,016
Uh...
409
00:17:40,051 --> 00:17:41,229
all right, uh...
410
00:17:41,253 --> 00:17:43,164
All right, when I'm 60, uh,
411
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,099
well, you'll be looking
pretty good, actually.
412
00:17:45,123 --> 00:17:46,290
Um...
413
00:17:46,325 --> 00:17:49,326
so, why don't you
call me when I'm 60?
414
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:50,361
I can't wait that long.
415
00:17:50,395 --> 00:17:51,472
Oh, don't. Just...
416
00:17:55,267 --> 00:17:57,334
Hey, knock it off!
417
00:17:59,305 --> 00:18:00,920
All right, you, outside.
418
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,456
You're gonna get
what's coming to you.
419
00:18:03,491 --> 00:18:05,775
I am not going outside
with you, Anthony.
420
00:18:05,810 --> 00:18:07,694
Not you. Her.
421
00:18:07,730 --> 00:18:08,995
I mean, come on.
422
00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:10,714
You're twice as big as me.
423
00:18:10,749 --> 00:18:13,433
Hey, but you stay away from her,
if you know what's good for you.
424
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,134
Thank you for the warning.
425
00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:16,853
Come on, Annie. Let's go.
426
00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:18,716
Why should I listen to you?
427
00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:21,558
Because I happen to be the new
428
00:18:21,593 --> 00:18:25,011
Assistant Night Manager
at Burger Burger Burger.
429
00:18:26,031 --> 00:18:27,998
You got a job?
430
00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:29,766
Hey, an important job.
431
00:18:29,801 --> 00:18:32,535
When I tell people
to chop lettuce,
432
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,270
they say, "How high?"
433
00:18:34,306 --> 00:18:37,857
And now, I am
telling you, Missy,
434
00:18:37,892 --> 00:18:40,410
if you don't come
with me this instant,
435
00:18:40,446 --> 00:18:42,812
we're through forever.
436
00:18:42,848 --> 00:18:45,498
I am so totally
turned on right now,
437
00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:48,151
I could spit.
438
00:18:48,186 --> 00:18:49,531
Well,
439
00:18:49,555 --> 00:18:51,220
I guess it's true what they say:
440
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,989
power is the
ultimate aphrodisiac.
441
00:18:53,025 --> 00:18:56,009
A uniform doesn't hurt, either.
442
00:18:57,062 --> 00:18:58,506
Can you wear it all night?
443
00:18:58,530 --> 00:18:59,896
Oh, maybe the hat.
444
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:01,364
Ooh.
445
00:19:02,867 --> 00:19:05,296
Boy, Sam, lucky for
you, he got that job, huh?
446
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,385
Lucky, hell.
447
00:19:06,421 --> 00:19:07,554
I got him that job.
448
00:19:07,589 --> 00:19:09,255
I traded in a few
favors and got him in.
449
00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:10,824
Wow.
450
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:11,991
As a matter of fact,
451
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,860
are you interested in
buying a secondhand car
452
00:19:13,895 --> 00:19:16,463
with this giant
hamburger on top?
453
00:19:16,498 --> 00:19:18,938
Five-speed or automatic?
454
00:19:19,802 --> 00:19:21,084
Uh, Miss Howe?
455
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,986
Yes, Laurie, dear?
456
00:19:23,021 --> 00:19:24,855
Well, uh, Mr. Drake
is dropping by,
457
00:19:24,890 --> 00:19:27,323
and I was wondering if
I could just break away
458
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:28,892
for a... for an early lunch.
459
00:19:28,927 --> 00:19:30,861
Lunch.
460
00:19:30,896 --> 00:19:34,097
Is that the fashionable
term for it these days?
461
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:36,566
No, I think I've
always called it lunch.
462
00:19:36,602 --> 00:19:38,646
Well, you just run
along with Mr. Drake
463
00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:40,169
to your lunch,
464
00:19:40,205 --> 00:19:42,739
and don't eat so much,
you can't walk back.
465
00:19:45,844 --> 00:19:47,210
Okay.
466
00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:48,478
Excuse me, Sam.
467
00:19:48,514 --> 00:19:49,913
What did she mean by that?
468
00:19:49,948 --> 00:19:51,092
Oh, she's, uh,
469
00:19:51,116 --> 00:19:52,694
under a lot of
pressure nowawdays.
470
00:19:52,718 --> 00:19:53,862
I volunteered
471
00:19:53,886 --> 00:19:55,630
to help her release
some of it, but she...
472
00:19:57,122 --> 00:19:59,456
Probably didn't help, by
asking for an early break.
473
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:00,624
Mm.
474
00:20:00,659 --> 00:20:02,426
I better apologize.
475
00:20:02,461 --> 00:20:03,772
Oh,
476
00:20:03,796 --> 00:20:05,495
Normie, do my eyes deceive me,
477
00:20:05,530 --> 00:20:08,064
or is this the start of
girl-fighting season?
478
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:09,878
Luckily, we have our, uh,
479
00:20:09,902 --> 00:20:11,246
luxury box seats just in time.
480
00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:12,468
That's right.
481
00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:15,121
They cost a little bit
more, but they're worth it.
482
00:20:15,156 --> 00:20:16,450
Miss Howe, if it's
more convenient,
483
00:20:16,474 --> 00:20:18,052
I'll just take my lunch
break one hour...
484
00:20:18,076 --> 00:20:19,392
Listen!
485
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,322
Let's just cut the
crap here, all right?
486
00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:23,324
I know how you got hired here,
487
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,960
and I know what your
relationship is to Mr. Drake.
488
00:20:25,984 --> 00:20:27,500
You do?
489
00:20:27,536 --> 00:20:28,729
Well, give me credit
490
00:20:28,753 --> 00:20:31,153
for having an ounce of a brain.
491
00:20:32,124 --> 00:20:34,152
You can tell me to go to hell,
492
00:20:34,176 --> 00:20:36,576
but there's something
I have to know.
493
00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:38,640
Do you love Evan Drake?
494
00:20:38,664 --> 00:20:40,480
Well, yes.
495
00:20:40,515 --> 00:20:42,499
I see.
496
00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:44,712
And does he love you?
497
00:20:44,736 --> 00:20:47,404
Does he love you?!
498
00:20:47,439 --> 00:20:49,406
Well, of course he does.
499
00:20:49,441 --> 00:20:52,142
Well, then there's only
one thing left to say.
500
00:20:52,177 --> 00:20:54,844
Oh, my God. Oh!
501
00:20:57,982 --> 00:20:59,276
Oh, damn, it's a knockout.
502
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,111
Didn't even get
to any hair-pulling.
503
00:21:04,356 --> 00:21:06,133
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
504
00:21:06,157 --> 00:21:08,458
What the hell's going on?
505
00:21:08,493 --> 00:21:09,475
Mr. Drake.
506
00:21:09,510 --> 00:21:10,376
Daddy.
507
00:21:10,412 --> 00:21:12,212
D-Daddy? Daddy?
508
00:21:12,247 --> 00:21:14,230
Daddy. Daddy.
509
00:21:17,002 --> 00:21:18,484
What happened?
510
00:21:18,519 --> 00:21:20,503
Oh, I think she hit me.
511
00:21:21,857 --> 00:21:23,323
You hit my daughter?
512
00:21:23,358 --> 00:21:24,791
No, I'm fine.
513
00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:26,192
Yes, I did,
514
00:21:26,228 --> 00:21:27,971
but it was an accident.
515
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:30,325
I have a nerve disorder.
516
00:21:30,349 --> 00:21:31,626
- A nerve disorder?
- Yes, she...
517
00:21:31,650 --> 00:21:33,961
Yes. She was dropped
as a child on her...
518
00:21:33,985 --> 00:21:35,379
And-And you better
stand back, because
519
00:21:35,403 --> 00:21:36,797
I just never know
when it's gonna go off.
520
00:21:36,821 --> 00:21:37,787
Ooh. Oh!
521
00:21:37,822 --> 00:21:38,833
Aah! See?
522
00:21:38,857 --> 00:21:40,818
I'd better get back
on that medication.
523
00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:41,857
Are you all right, baby?
524
00:21:41,893 --> 00:21:43,977
I'll be all right. Thank you.
525
00:21:47,715 --> 00:21:48,948
I mean her.
526
00:21:48,984 --> 00:21:50,160
Yes, Daddy.
527
00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:51,668
Oh. REBECCA: So, uh,
528
00:21:51,703 --> 00:21:53,152
Laurie's your daughter.
529
00:21:54,005 --> 00:21:56,016
Why didn't you tell me, kiddo?
530
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,691
Well, Daddy said not to.
531
00:21:58,726 --> 00:22:00,710
I didn't want her to have
any special treatment.
532
00:22:00,746 --> 00:22:02,511
I want her to know
what it feels like
533
00:22:02,547 --> 00:22:04,096
not to be the boss's daughter.
534
00:22:04,132 --> 00:22:05,748
What a fabulous idea.
535
00:22:05,784 --> 00:22:08,196
And so smart of you not to tell
536
00:22:08,220 --> 00:22:09,446
anyone who she was.
537
00:22:09,470 --> 00:22:11,899
Do you have any
cotton in your office?
538
00:22:11,923 --> 00:22:14,341
Yeah. Let's put some
food in my baby, huh?
539
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,670
Again, again, please
accept my apology,
540
00:22:16,694 --> 00:22:18,878
and it was so nice
to see you, Mr. Drake.
541
00:22:18,914 --> 00:22:20,613
If you don't mind, I'll wait
542
00:22:20,648 --> 00:22:22,898
till after you've
had the medication.
543
00:22:27,989 --> 00:22:30,723
Do you think he bought
that nerve disorder thing?
544
00:22:30,759 --> 00:22:33,226
I think he bought that
nerve disorder thing.
545
00:22:33,261 --> 00:22:35,239
Is it getting darker in here?
546
00:22:35,263 --> 00:22:36,946
Oh, Sam, stop being
such a big baby.
547
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,092
Yeah, well...
548
00:22:38,116 --> 00:22:39,883
Here, let me look at your nose.
549
00:22:39,918 --> 00:22:41,195
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
550
00:22:41,219 --> 00:22:43,202
Oh, my God!
551
00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:44,053
What?
552
00:22:44,089 --> 00:22:45,204
Oh.
553
00:22:49,511 --> 00:22:50,694
Huh?
554
00:22:50,729 --> 00:22:52,796
What-What...?
555
00:22:57,469 --> 00:22:59,936
Hey, everybody, I'm back.
556
00:22:59,971 --> 00:23:01,498
Hey, Carla. All right.
557
00:23:01,522 --> 00:23:02,951
Anything new since
I've been gone?
558
00:23:04,142 --> 00:23:05,286
Mm, no, not much.
559
00:23:05,310 --> 00:23:06,621
Uh, well, nothing special.
560
00:23:07,813 --> 00:23:09,156
Yeah, yeah. How about yourself?
561
00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:11,080
The usual.
39450
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