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1
00:00:02,139 --> 00:00:05,291
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,326 --> 00:00:08,361
Let's just concentrate
on the, uh, left side, okay?
3
00:00:08,396 --> 00:00:09,362
Yeah.
4
00:00:09,397 --> 00:00:10,674
We have a boy.
5
00:00:10,698 --> 00:00:13,265
No, no, wait, wait. It's a girl.
6
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:17,269
It's a boy again. This is weird.
7
00:00:17,304 --> 00:00:19,166
All right, maybe
it's a girl. I-I...
8
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:21,924
Still trying to figure
out what Carla is, huh?
9
00:00:23,794 --> 00:00:28,580
No, Cliff, we're trying to find
out what sex my babies are.
10
00:00:28,616 --> 00:00:31,517
See, if the ring goes
back and forth, it's a boy.
11
00:00:31,552 --> 00:00:34,120
If it goes around
in a circle, it's a girl.
12
00:00:34,155 --> 00:00:38,757
And if it just dangles there
doing nothing, it's a Clavin.
13
00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:40,692
I can tell you something
14
00:00:40,728 --> 00:00:44,130
we used to, uh, do on the farm.
15
00:00:44,165 --> 00:00:46,010
We'd take a fresh
laid chicken egg
16
00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:47,666
and we'd put on a spoon
17
00:00:47,701 --> 00:00:49,746
and hold it over the
woman's stomach.
18
00:00:49,770 --> 00:00:52,271
If it dipped down,
it was female, if not,
19
00:00:52,307 --> 00:00:53,973
male.
20
00:00:54,008 --> 00:00:56,976
So how often did you
predict the sex of the babies?
21
00:00:57,011 --> 00:00:59,611
Never. This was to predict
the sex of the chicken.
22
00:00:59,647 --> 00:01:03,316
All right, you take
a spoon, right?
23
00:01:08,089 --> 00:01:10,589
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
24
00:01:10,624 --> 00:01:13,426
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
25
00:01:13,461 --> 00:01:16,228
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
26
00:01:16,264 --> 00:01:19,398
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
27
00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:22,868
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
28
00:01:24,805 --> 00:01:27,723
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
29
00:01:27,759 --> 00:01:32,527
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
30
00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:37,466
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
31
00:01:37,501 --> 00:01:39,902
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
32
00:01:39,937 --> 00:01:42,872
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
33
00:01:42,907 --> 00:01:47,910
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
34
00:01:47,945 --> 00:01:50,412
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
35
00:01:50,447 --> 00:01:52,948
♪ People are all the same ♪
36
00:01:52,984 --> 00:01:57,853
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
37
00:02:13,471 --> 00:02:14,637
Good afternoon, everybody.
38
00:02:14,672 --> 00:02:17,306
Sam, you got you room
for one more tosspot?
39
00:02:17,341 --> 00:02:18,840
Let me have a beer, will you?
40
00:02:18,876 --> 00:02:20,008
You betcha.
41
00:02:20,043 --> 00:02:21,310
How you been there, Frasier?
42
00:02:21,345 --> 00:02:24,230
Well, you know how it is for a
psychiatrist this day and age.
43
00:02:24,265 --> 00:02:27,632
Divorces, hopelessness
over financial situations,
44
00:02:27,668 --> 00:02:29,134
rampant paranoia.
45
00:02:29,170 --> 00:02:30,653
Thriving, never better.
46
00:02:30,688 --> 00:02:32,455
Oh, and get this.
47
00:02:32,490 --> 00:02:34,301
I just heard a little bit
of information about
48
00:02:34,325 --> 00:02:35,902
someone with whom
we're all acquainted.
49
00:02:35,926 --> 00:02:37,893
Is it juicy?
50
00:02:37,928 --> 00:02:42,397
Well, yes.
51
00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:44,028
Could it embarrass someone?
52
00:02:44,052 --> 00:02:45,451
Oh, most definitely.
53
00:02:45,486 --> 00:02:46,818
Is it me?
54
00:02:46,854 --> 00:02:47,886
No.
55
00:02:47,922 --> 00:02:50,556
Spill it.
56
00:02:50,591 --> 00:02:54,326
Well, I had lunch today
with an ex-colleague of mine
57
00:02:54,362 --> 00:02:56,895
who attended the
University of Connecticut
58
00:02:56,931 --> 00:03:01,067
at the same time as a
certain Miss Rebecca Howe.
59
00:03:01,102 --> 00:03:02,212
Now, it seems that this
60
00:03:02,236 --> 00:03:04,870
particular Rebecca Howe
61
00:03:04,905 --> 00:03:07,556
was known as...
Well, let's just say it...
62
00:03:07,592 --> 00:03:10,109
The party girl on campus.
63
00:03:11,579 --> 00:03:13,112
Our Rebecca?
64
00:03:13,147 --> 00:03:17,116
Miss Granite Panties?
65
00:03:17,151 --> 00:03:20,619
The one who goes through life
with her knees bolted together?
66
00:03:20,654 --> 00:03:22,054
It's got to be a mistake.
67
00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:23,255
Yeah, yeah...
68
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,858
So, does anyone know
what college ours went to?
69
00:03:25,893 --> 00:03:27,637
It wouldn't surprise me
one bit if it was Rebecca.
70
00:03:27,661 --> 00:03:29,461
I don't know.
No, I mean, it's us
71
00:03:29,496 --> 00:03:32,198
quiet, reserved types who,
when properly stimulated,
72
00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:37,837
turn into your average
churning hunk of burning funk.
73
00:03:38,873 --> 00:03:41,807
Now, Cliffie, uh,
74
00:03:41,843 --> 00:03:42,886
can you tell me exactly
75
00:03:42,910 --> 00:03:44,293
at what point in your life
76
00:03:44,328 --> 00:03:46,340
you came to that
big fork in the road
77
00:03:46,364 --> 00:03:48,897
where reality took a left
and you hung a sharp right?
78
00:03:51,686 --> 00:03:54,086
Excuse me, is there
a Cliff Clavin here?
79
00:03:54,121 --> 00:03:56,805
Uh, would Mr. Clavin
know what this is about?
80
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,590
Yeah, I'm a neighbor
of his, Jim McNulty.
81
00:03:58,625 --> 00:03:59,992
His mother said he'd be here.
82
00:04:00,027 --> 00:04:01,338
All right, just a minute.
83
00:04:01,362 --> 00:04:02,978
Uh, Mr. Clavin, you here
84
00:04:03,013 --> 00:04:04,463
for a Jim McNulty?
85
00:04:04,499 --> 00:04:06,648
Uh, yeah, yeah, sure.
86
00:04:06,683 --> 00:04:08,579
Uh, you know how it
is. Some guys in bars
87
00:04:08,603 --> 00:04:10,930
don't like you to
know they're here.
88
00:04:10,954 --> 00:04:12,154
Hey, Cliff, remember me?
89
00:04:12,189 --> 00:04:13,500
Yeah, yeah. Jim McNulty.
90
00:04:13,524 --> 00:04:15,335
You own a house
down at the corner.
91
00:04:15,359 --> 00:04:18,093
You ever going to take
those Christmas lights down?
92
00:04:18,129 --> 00:04:19,628
Yeah, as soon as
a weekend goes by
93
00:04:19,663 --> 00:04:21,296
you don't have
another garage sale.
94
00:04:23,134 --> 00:04:25,034
Listen, I, uh, I've
been going around
95
00:04:25,069 --> 00:04:26,635
to good neighbors like yourself
96
00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:28,237
hoping I can get your support.
97
00:04:28,272 --> 00:04:29,512
Well, uh...
98
00:04:29,540 --> 00:04:31,423
what am I looking at here?
99
00:04:31,459 --> 00:04:32,858
Oh, it's a petition
100
00:04:32,893 --> 00:04:35,093
agreeing not to sell out
to these big developers
101
00:04:35,129 --> 00:04:36,906
who've been trying
to buy up our houses
102
00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:37,941
and build mini malls.
103
00:04:39,116 --> 00:04:40,326
Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo.
104
00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:41,361
You know, new development
105
00:04:41,385 --> 00:04:43,502
only increases property values.
106
00:04:43,537 --> 00:04:47,272
I wouldn't sign that petition
if you beat me senseless.
107
00:04:47,308 --> 00:04:48,885
You know, it may be too late,
108
00:04:48,909 --> 00:04:51,026
but let's give it a try.
109
00:04:51,061 --> 00:04:54,280
You know, I'll never
understand people like you.
110
00:04:54,315 --> 00:04:57,316
You got no conscience,
no sense of community,
111
00:04:57,351 --> 00:05:00,719
no interest in keeping
our neighborhood beautiful.
112
00:05:00,754 --> 00:05:02,921
If you, uh, want to
beautify the neighborhood,
113
00:05:02,956 --> 00:05:04,256
why don't you stay indoors?
114
00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:06,236
Yeah, at least I don't
live with my mother.
115
00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:09,294
I don't blame you;
I've seen your mother.
116
00:05:09,330 --> 00:05:11,046
Yeah, my mother's a saint.
117
00:05:11,081 --> 00:05:12,242
Yeah... Saint Bernard.
118
00:05:12,266 --> 00:05:13,816
Oh, yeah?
119
00:05:16,821 --> 00:05:19,254
Forget it.
120
00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:24,587
Ah, I'm outta luck.
121
00:05:24,611 --> 00:05:27,212
Somebody's already
using the pool table.
122
00:05:30,568 --> 00:05:32,251
The lady in question.
123
00:05:32,286 --> 00:05:34,253
Sam, Sam, find out
where she went to college.
124
00:05:34,288 --> 00:05:35,320
Yeah, okay.
125
00:05:35,356 --> 00:05:36,422
Afternoon, Sam.
126
00:05:36,457 --> 00:05:37,590
Hey, boss.
127
00:05:37,625 --> 00:05:39,541
How's business
today? Oh, pretty slow.
128
00:05:39,577 --> 00:05:41,560
Me and the guys
just sitting around
129
00:05:41,595 --> 00:05:44,462
talking about where
everybody went to... college.
130
00:05:45,465 --> 00:05:47,550
You were?
131
00:05:47,585 --> 00:05:49,179
Well, I was wondering
what it would be like
132
00:05:49,203 --> 00:05:51,537
to go to... college.
133
00:05:53,207 --> 00:05:54,240
Well,
134
00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:56,019
picture a place
with 20,000 people
135
00:05:56,043 --> 00:05:57,743
all acting the way you do.
136
00:05:58,746 --> 00:05:59,911
Sounds like fun.
137
00:05:59,947 --> 00:06:02,615
Listen, uh, where
did you go to...
138
00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:04,617
college?
139
00:06:04,652 --> 00:06:07,586
The University
of... Connecticut.
140
00:06:13,477 --> 00:06:15,093
Am I missing something here?
141
00:06:15,129 --> 00:06:16,340
No, no, no, no, not at all.
142
00:06:16,364 --> 00:06:18,130
We, uh, we're just, uh,
143
00:06:18,165 --> 00:06:20,344
such big fans of
their football team,
144
00:06:20,368 --> 00:06:21,845
you know, the fighting...
145
00:06:21,869 --> 00:06:23,652
insurance salesmen.
146
00:06:33,847 --> 00:06:34,997
Boy, oh, boy.
147
00:06:35,032 --> 00:06:37,110
Don't you just love this
Yorkshire pudding, Ma?
148
00:06:37,134 --> 00:06:39,584
That's a real delicacy.
149
00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:41,870
The English didn't think so.
150
00:06:41,906 --> 00:06:45,224
Actually, Yorkshire pudding
was invented in the late 1770s
151
00:06:45,259 --> 00:06:46,742
during a beef shortage.
152
00:06:47,844 --> 00:06:50,729
A person could be
given a little bit of beef
153
00:06:50,765 --> 00:06:53,231
and soak up the
gravy with the pudding,
154
00:06:53,267 --> 00:06:55,968
thereby fooling his
stomach into thinking
155
00:06:56,003 --> 00:06:59,271
he was having a fuller
dinner than he actually was.
156
00:06:59,307 --> 00:07:03,324
And you wonder why
nobody asks us out anymore.
157
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,577
So how was your day?
158
00:07:05,613 --> 00:07:07,228
Ah, okay, Ma.
159
00:07:07,264 --> 00:07:09,798
Oh, our neighbor,
Nut Butt McNulty
160
00:07:09,834 --> 00:07:11,700
stopped in Cheers today.
161
00:07:11,736 --> 00:07:14,369
He was, uh, circulating
some kind of petition.
162
00:07:14,404 --> 00:07:16,555
The one to stop development?
163
00:07:16,591 --> 00:07:17,872
Yeah. I signed it.
164
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:20,726
You did?
165
00:07:20,761 --> 00:07:23,261
Well, who in his
right mind wouldn't?
166
00:07:23,297 --> 00:07:26,415
Besides you, of course.
167
00:07:28,218 --> 00:07:29,718
Ma, we-we-we're
for progress here.
168
00:07:29,754 --> 00:07:32,688
If we don't stop these people,
we could lose our home.
169
00:07:32,723 --> 00:07:34,306
Well, it's probably about time
170
00:07:34,342 --> 00:07:36,219
we got out of this
rattrap anyway.
171
00:07:36,243 --> 00:07:37,275
Clifford.
172
00:07:37,311 --> 00:07:39,745
This "rattrap" is where you,
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00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:43,749
for want of a better
term, grew up.
174
00:07:43,784 --> 00:07:48,587
I think it's time somebody
looked at the scrapbook.
175
00:07:50,257 --> 00:07:51,623
Aw, come on, Ma.
176
00:07:51,659 --> 00:07:53,258
Not the scrapbook.
177
00:07:54,812 --> 00:07:58,246
Yes, Clifford, the scrapbook.
178
00:07:59,349 --> 00:08:03,184
Misty watercolor memories
of the way we were.
179
00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:09,375
Oh. Look at this one.
180
00:08:09,410 --> 00:08:10,492
Ah...
181
00:08:10,527 --> 00:08:11,905
No, Ma. I'm not gonna look.
182
00:08:11,929 --> 00:08:14,449
You're not gonna
get me this time.
183
00:08:14,865 --> 00:08:17,850
Oh, we had fun that day.
184
00:08:19,220 --> 00:08:20,463
Ma!
185
00:08:20,487 --> 00:08:21,953
It is not working.
186
00:08:21,988 --> 00:08:23,722
Oh, I'd forgotten this one.
187
00:08:23,758 --> 00:08:26,825
This has got to be the
handsomest picture of you
188
00:08:26,861 --> 00:08:28,176
I ever laid eyes on.
189
00:08:33,950 --> 00:08:35,850
Which?
190
00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:37,218
Oh, Ma, come on.
191
00:08:37,254 --> 00:08:40,221
My ears are even
covered with acne.
192
00:08:41,909 --> 00:08:43,742
I'm your mother, Clifford.
193
00:08:43,778 --> 00:08:45,577
I'm looking at your soul.
194
00:08:46,914 --> 00:08:51,533
Ah, there's me sliding
down the old banister.
195
00:08:51,568 --> 00:08:53,235
I always thought you spent
196
00:08:53,270 --> 00:08:55,587
entirely too much
time doing that.
197
00:08:56,573 --> 00:08:58,173
Eh...
198
00:08:58,208 --> 00:09:00,876
Eh, it was fun.
199
00:09:00,911 --> 00:09:02,878
Oh, look, there's your favorite
200
00:09:02,913 --> 00:09:04,646
hiding place in the closet.
201
00:09:04,682 --> 00:09:05,647
Yeah, yeah.
202
00:09:05,683 --> 00:09:07,349
You used to be
in there for hours.
203
00:09:07,384 --> 00:09:11,486
Yeah.
204
00:09:11,522 --> 00:09:12,699
Well, that's 'cause
205
00:09:12,723 --> 00:09:15,185
you always locked
the door on me, Ma.
206
00:09:15,209 --> 00:09:16,841
Well, look at the result.
207
00:09:16,877 --> 00:09:18,860
You're a very polite young man.
208
00:09:20,347 --> 00:09:23,548
Oh, now there's where we planted
209
00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:26,167
the elm tree in the yard.
210
00:09:26,203 --> 00:09:27,519
Yeah.
211
00:09:27,555 --> 00:09:29,187
Oh, you named him Elmer.
212
00:09:29,223 --> 00:09:30,389
Mm-hmm.
213
00:09:30,424 --> 00:09:32,507
And look at our Elmer now.
214
00:09:32,542 --> 00:09:34,493
So tall and strong.
215
00:09:34,528 --> 00:09:35,860
Just like my boy.
216
00:09:35,896 --> 00:09:38,730
Yeah, yeah, I can remember
raising him from a sapling, Ma.
217
00:09:38,765 --> 00:09:40,048
I even carved
218
00:09:40,084 --> 00:09:42,195
my first slingshot
out of his branches.
219
00:09:42,219 --> 00:09:46,722
And cried every winter
when the leaves fell.
220
00:09:46,757 --> 00:09:50,242
Yeah, yeah, that tree is
like a brother to me, Ma.
221
00:09:51,745 --> 00:09:54,830
Just imagine, you know,
something that I planted,
222
00:09:54,865 --> 00:09:57,010
and I nurtured,
is gonna be there
223
00:09:57,034 --> 00:09:59,167
for future generations to enjoy.
224
00:09:59,203 --> 00:10:04,890
Unless they chop it down
to put up a Jiffy Lube.
225
00:10:04,925 --> 00:10:07,576
Come on, Ma, they
wouldn't do that, would they?
226
00:10:07,611 --> 00:10:11,246
They'll do that as
soon as look at you.
227
00:10:13,801 --> 00:10:15,750
Well...
228
00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:19,270
Oh, Ma, no, they won't.
229
00:10:19,306 --> 00:10:20,271
Oh...
230
00:10:20,307 --> 00:10:21,272
No, Ma...
231
00:10:21,308 --> 00:10:24,242
They're not gonna
cut down my tree!
232
00:10:24,277 --> 00:10:26,912
A-and they're not gonna
touch this house either!
233
00:10:26,947 --> 00:10:29,247
And they're not
gonna take our land!
234
00:10:29,282 --> 00:10:30,448
That's my boy.
235
00:10:30,484 --> 00:10:31,884
Where are you going?
236
00:10:31,919 --> 00:10:34,887
Well, it may sound
a little bit silly
237
00:10:34,922 --> 00:10:37,055
and all, Ma, but, uh...
238
00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:40,292
I'm gonna go out
there and sit in my tree.
239
00:10:41,328 --> 00:10:42,944
You got right ahead.
240
00:10:46,967 --> 00:10:48,299
Never fails.
241
00:10:53,473 --> 00:10:56,141
Well, uh, interestingly enough,
242
00:10:56,176 --> 00:10:59,011
Yorkshire pudding was
invented in the 1700s
243
00:10:59,046 --> 00:11:00,629
during a beef shortage.
244
00:11:01,849 --> 00:11:03,215
All right, stop everything.
245
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:04,883
I've got a major news flash.
246
00:11:04,919 --> 00:11:06,785
I just had lunch
with Miss Howe's
247
00:11:06,821 --> 00:11:08,220
former college classmate
248
00:11:08,255 --> 00:11:11,590
and it seems that she
had a nickname at UConn.
249
00:11:11,625 --> 00:11:12,824
Give, give.
250
00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:14,409
Well, he wasn't sure
how she came by
251
00:11:14,445 --> 00:11:16,645
this appellation, but it
seems that at some point
252
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,079
during her little sojourn there,
253
00:11:18,115 --> 00:11:21,500
she became known
as "Backseat Becky."
254
00:11:25,272 --> 00:11:26,872
Boy.
255
00:11:26,907 --> 00:11:29,147
What do you suppose that means?
256
00:11:30,844 --> 00:11:31,994
Woody.
257
00:11:32,029 --> 00:11:33,439
What that means is when Miss...
258
00:11:33,463 --> 00:11:34,708
Cliff, Cliff. Why don't you
259
00:11:34,732 --> 00:11:37,899
let someone who's
been there, tell it?
260
00:11:37,935 --> 00:11:40,235
Wood, she likes to
do her cushion pushin'
261
00:11:40,270 --> 00:11:41,837
on four wheels.
262
00:11:41,872 --> 00:11:43,505
Miss Howe?
263
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:44,684
Really?
264
00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:46,920
You know, uh, back
where I come from,
265
00:11:46,944 --> 00:11:48,622
we used to say something
about girls like that.
266
00:11:48,646 --> 00:11:49,444
What?
267
00:11:49,479 --> 00:11:51,212
"Let's date 'em."
268
00:11:57,388 --> 00:11:59,554
Oh, looky here. You
know, something tells me
269
00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:02,056
I'm going to be completely
obnoxious about this.
270
00:12:05,428 --> 00:12:06,394
What's so funny?
271
00:12:06,429 --> 00:12:07,440
Oh, we were just talking
272
00:12:07,464 --> 00:12:08,608
about nicknames, you know.
273
00:12:08,632 --> 00:12:10,477
Different funny nicknames
that people have.
274
00:12:10,501 --> 00:12:11,744
Did you ever have a nickname?
275
00:12:11,768 --> 00:12:13,401
As a matter of fact, no.
276
00:12:13,436 --> 00:12:14,536
Really.
277
00:12:14,571 --> 00:12:15,748
Nothing, huh?
278
00:12:15,772 --> 00:12:18,212
Not a Spark or Lefty or...
279
00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:19,741
Bubba or something?
280
00:12:19,776 --> 00:12:20,876
Sorry.
281
00:12:20,911 --> 00:12:22,154
Guys, we ought to give
282
00:12:22,178 --> 00:12:24,090
Rebecca, here, a nickname, uh...
283
00:12:24,114 --> 00:12:25,558
You know, something
that, uh, kinda
284
00:12:25,582 --> 00:12:26,548
fits her personality.
285
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:27,999
All right.
286
00:12:28,034 --> 00:12:29,568
Kinda dignified.
287
00:12:29,603 --> 00:12:31,235
Kinda businesslike.
288
00:12:31,271 --> 00:12:33,872
Kinda reserved.
289
00:12:33,907 --> 00:12:35,907
Let me think. Oh, yeah.
290
00:12:35,942 --> 00:12:38,076
Anybody?
291
00:12:38,111 --> 00:12:39,751
Backseat Becky!
292
00:12:45,652 --> 00:12:49,121
Gee, that, uh,
that works for me.
293
00:12:51,425 --> 00:12:53,692
I kind of like "Bubba."
294
00:12:55,229 --> 00:12:56,594
Oh, God.
295
00:12:56,630 --> 00:12:59,280
Then you probably know
the whole sordid story.
296
00:12:59,316 --> 00:13:02,084
Well, actually, no.
297
00:13:02,119 --> 00:13:03,296
Well, that's because
there isn't one.
298
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,764
Hey, hey, come on, come
on. Don't worry about that.
299
00:13:04,788 --> 00:13:05,932
Listen, the truth is
300
00:13:05,956 --> 00:13:07,567
I'm looking to buy a new car,
301
00:13:07,591 --> 00:13:09,669
and I, uh, I need
an expert opinion.
302
00:13:09,693 --> 00:13:11,593
Uh...
303
00:13:11,628 --> 00:13:14,329
now what-what...
what model do you think
304
00:13:14,365 --> 00:13:15,608
has the best rear shocks?
305
00:13:17,768 --> 00:13:21,403
Have you driven a Ford lately?
306
00:13:23,641 --> 00:13:26,975
I guess she gives new meaning
to the term "four on the floor."
307
00:13:29,146 --> 00:13:30,946
All right, all right.
308
00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:33,215
If you insist on an explanation,
309
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,816
I will give it to you.
310
00:13:34,851 --> 00:13:36,462
You know how
sometimes as a joke,
311
00:13:36,486 --> 00:13:38,231
you call someone
the exact opposite
312
00:13:38,255 --> 00:13:39,504
of what they really are?
313
00:13:39,540 --> 00:13:41,756
Well, I was really
shy in college,
314
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:43,536
so my friends thought
it would be a huge gas
315
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,193
to call me "Backseat Becky."
316
00:13:47,531 --> 00:13:50,365
Well, it's simple,
it's, it's logical,
317
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,800
and we don't believe
it for a second.
318
00:13:53,737 --> 00:13:55,247
Wait a minute. I-I believe her.
319
00:13:55,271 --> 00:13:57,711
Us virgins have
to stick together.
320
00:13:59,476 --> 00:14:01,443
I told you the truth.
321
00:14:01,478 --> 00:14:04,112
If you don't want
to believe it, fine,
322
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:05,387
just believe whatever you want.
323
00:14:07,084 --> 00:14:09,004
All right, here's
the real truth.
324
00:14:09,035 --> 00:14:13,555
I was very aggressive in
college, a real go-getter.
325
00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:16,842
I never took a
backseat to anyone.
326
00:14:19,762 --> 00:14:21,179
No. No, no.
327
00:14:25,301 --> 00:14:27,702
No, Mr. Cronin,
I'm not listening.
328
00:14:27,738 --> 00:14:29,104
The case is closed.
329
00:14:29,139 --> 00:14:30,917
I'm not taking any offers,
330
00:14:30,941 --> 00:14:32,406
and that's final.
331
00:14:32,442 --> 00:14:34,809
I'm sorry if I've upset
you, Mrs. Clavin.
332
00:14:34,845 --> 00:14:37,478
Clifford, would you tell
this gentleman, please,
333
00:14:37,514 --> 00:14:39,014
we're not selling our house?
334
00:14:39,049 --> 00:14:40,181
I was just
335
00:14:40,216 --> 00:14:41,750
trying to make an
offer on your house,
336
00:14:41,785 --> 00:14:43,018
and your mother won't listen.
337
00:14:43,053 --> 00:14:45,586
Well, that's because
she has got more sense
338
00:14:45,622 --> 00:14:47,088
in her bony little frame
339
00:14:47,124 --> 00:14:48,757
than you have in
your little finger.
340
00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:52,194
Reverse that.
341
00:14:53,630 --> 00:14:56,881
You are not going to run
the Clavins off our land.
342
00:14:56,916 --> 00:14:58,428
I don't care what you offer us,
343
00:14:58,452 --> 00:15:00,180
you just can't put
a price on love,
344
00:15:00,204 --> 00:15:04,339
family and our memories.
345
00:15:04,374 --> 00:15:06,641
Take it or leave it...
346
00:15:06,676 --> 00:15:08,609
$250,000.
347
00:15:08,645 --> 00:15:09,994
$200 and...
348
00:15:10,029 --> 00:15:12,589
Oh, my God, we're rich.
349
00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:26,912
But Ma, Ma, you can't do this.
350
00:15:26,936 --> 00:15:28,903
A Clavin cannot be bought off.
351
00:15:28,938 --> 00:15:32,556
I'm only a Clavin
by marriage, Clifford.
352
00:15:33,959 --> 00:15:35,043
Oh...
353
00:15:35,078 --> 00:15:36,878
Oh, guys, you gotta help me.
354
00:15:36,913 --> 00:15:39,124
She's going to go
through with this.
355
00:15:39,148 --> 00:15:40,927
Well, why don't you offer
to buy the place back?
356
00:15:40,951 --> 00:15:45,319
Sammy, I don't have enough
money for a down payment.
357
00:15:45,354 --> 00:15:46,588
Wait a minute.
358
00:15:46,623 --> 00:15:48,690
Can either of you
guys lend me $50,000?
359
00:15:49,626 --> 00:15:51,993
I'm sorry, Cliff, you
never paid me back
360
00:15:52,028 --> 00:15:53,706
that million from last week.
361
00:15:53,730 --> 00:15:54,940
Well, it's been a pleasure
362
00:15:54,964 --> 00:15:56,776
doing business
with you, Mrs. Clavin.
363
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:57,800
Thank you.
364
00:15:57,834 --> 00:16:00,601
Uh... uh...
365
00:16:00,637 --> 00:16:01,747
There!
366
00:16:01,771 --> 00:16:03,103
There!
367
00:16:03,139 --> 00:16:05,673
Now what are you going to do?
368
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:07,041
Well, first I'm going
369
00:16:07,076 --> 00:16:09,710
to take this contract
down to the office,
370
00:16:09,746 --> 00:16:11,111
and then I'm going
371
00:16:11,147 --> 00:16:12,958
to call my wife and ask
her what I'm supposed
372
00:16:12,982 --> 00:16:14,348
to pick up at the grocery store.
373
00:16:17,453 --> 00:16:19,286
Ah, Ma,
374
00:16:19,322 --> 00:16:21,233
but after all we've
been through together.
375
00:16:21,257 --> 00:16:22,690
Just last night you were saying
376
00:16:22,725 --> 00:16:24,258
how much the house meant to you.
377
00:16:24,293 --> 00:16:26,260
Last night I was poor.
378
00:16:26,295 --> 00:16:27,762
Tonight I'm not.
379
00:16:27,797 --> 00:16:30,264
I never thought I'd
have the chance,
380
00:16:30,299 --> 00:16:32,232
but now I can go to Florida.
381
00:16:32,268 --> 00:16:34,346
Florida? Oh, for
crying out loud.
382
00:16:34,370 --> 00:16:37,071
Who'd ever want to
live in that stinkhole?
383
00:16:37,874 --> 00:16:39,807
Clifford, I'm doing this
384
00:16:39,843 --> 00:16:42,343
as much for you
as I am for myself.
385
00:16:42,378 --> 00:16:43,911
You're 39 years old.
386
00:16:43,947 --> 00:16:45,412
It's time to cut the cord.
387
00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:47,593
Ma, I am not leaving that house!
388
00:16:47,617 --> 00:16:48,750
Clifford...
389
00:16:48,785 --> 00:16:51,097
I am not leaving that house!
390
00:16:51,121 --> 00:16:54,789
Well, I'm afraid
you're going to have to.
391
00:16:54,824 --> 00:16:56,824
Oh! Oh, yeah, fine.
392
00:16:56,860 --> 00:16:58,893
Go off by yourself.
393
00:16:58,928 --> 00:17:00,427
See how you like it.
394
00:17:00,463 --> 00:17:02,274
After a week of
cooking your own meals,
395
00:17:02,298 --> 00:17:04,110
doing your own dishes,
washing your own hair,
396
00:17:04,134 --> 00:17:05,332
you'll be back.
397
00:17:18,164 --> 00:17:19,408
Oh, well, well, well,
398
00:17:19,432 --> 00:17:22,800
if it isn't the ultimate
driving machine.
399
00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:24,969
Okay, okay, I give up.
400
00:17:25,838 --> 00:17:27,516
Look, I'll tell you
the real story,
401
00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:28,650
but it's kind of personal
402
00:17:28,674 --> 00:17:30,001
so can we do this in private?
403
00:17:30,025 --> 00:17:31,291
Sure, you bet. You bet.
404
00:17:31,327 --> 00:17:34,245
Say, if you're too
embarrassed to say something,
405
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,479
feel free to act it out.
406
00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:41,497
I was living in a women's
dorm on campus...
407
00:17:41,521 --> 00:17:42,487
Mm-hmm.
408
00:17:42,522 --> 00:17:44,100
And one night a fire broke out.
409
00:17:44,124 --> 00:17:45,189
Ah.
410
00:17:45,224 --> 00:17:46,868
Well, I didn't have time
to change my clothes,
411
00:17:46,892 --> 00:17:48,270
so I had to run out
to the parking lot
412
00:17:48,294 --> 00:17:49,505
wearing only a teddy;
413
00:17:49,529 --> 00:17:52,497
black, but see-through.
414
00:17:52,532 --> 00:17:55,349
All of a sudden, I was caught
415
00:17:55,384 --> 00:17:57,096
in this fire
engine's headlights.
416
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,619
I didn't know what to do.
417
00:17:58,654 --> 00:18:00,682
I looked all around,
and suddenly,
418
00:18:00,706 --> 00:18:02,618
I spotted this open convertible.
419
00:18:02,642 --> 00:18:05,209
I climbed in, and I slunk down
420
00:18:05,245 --> 00:18:06,877
to the backseat.
421
00:18:06,912 --> 00:18:10,214
Suddenly, this hulking fireman
422
00:18:10,249 --> 00:18:12,199
was standing over me.
423
00:18:12,234 --> 00:18:14,352
He was magnificent.
424
00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:18,339
I looked in his eyes.
425
00:18:18,374 --> 00:18:20,374
I knew what he wanted,
426
00:18:20,409 --> 00:18:21,692
and I wanted it, too.
427
00:18:23,229 --> 00:18:27,348
I peeled off his
black rubber raincoat.
428
00:18:27,383 --> 00:18:30,267
He ripped off my teddy.
429
00:18:32,271 --> 00:18:36,023
I can still feel the
heat on my flesh.
430
00:18:38,745 --> 00:18:40,978
But it wasn't the fire...
431
00:18:41,014 --> 00:18:43,113
It was us.
432
00:18:43,149 --> 00:18:45,149
When it was over,
433
00:18:45,184 --> 00:18:46,462
I opened my eyes,
434
00:18:46,486 --> 00:18:48,936
and I noticed we weren't alone.
435
00:18:48,971 --> 00:18:52,890
Others had watched
and not said a word.
436
00:18:55,110 --> 00:18:58,712
And that's why I'm known
as "Backseat Becky."
437
00:18:58,748 --> 00:18:59,831
Satisfied?
438
00:19:13,462 --> 00:19:15,240
Thanks for the story, Carla.
439
00:19:15,264 --> 00:19:17,798
Here's your ten bucks.
440
00:19:21,604 --> 00:19:25,072
Yeah, the $20 one
would have killed him.
441
00:19:26,575 --> 00:19:27,686
So wait a minute. Wait a minute.
442
00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:30,027
Why do they call
you "Backseat Becky."
443
00:19:30,062 --> 00:19:32,324
That will cost you a hundred.
444
00:19:32,348 --> 00:19:35,599
Hey, you know,
you're kind of a pig.
445
00:19:36,952 --> 00:19:38,852
Maybe we can be friends.
446
00:19:41,524 --> 00:19:42,590
Excuse me.
447
00:19:42,625 --> 00:19:45,959
I've got to find Norm Peterson.
448
00:19:45,995 --> 00:19:48,174
Does Mr. Peterson
know what this is about?
449
00:19:48,198 --> 00:19:49,664
Never mind. There he is.
450
00:19:49,699 --> 00:19:52,366
Norman. Hi.
451
00:19:52,402 --> 00:19:53,601
You got to help me.
452
00:19:53,636 --> 00:19:54,813
I'm desperate. What?
453
00:19:54,837 --> 00:19:57,071
Cliff's locked
himself in the house.
454
00:19:57,106 --> 00:19:58,573
No, I've tried everything.
455
00:19:58,608 --> 00:19:59,740
He won't budge.
456
00:19:59,775 --> 00:20:01,409
Ours is the last
house on the block
457
00:20:01,444 --> 00:20:04,078
scheduled for demolition,
and that's today.
458
00:20:04,113 --> 00:20:05,279
I'm at my wit's end.
459
00:20:05,315 --> 00:20:06,480
You got to help me.
460
00:20:06,516 --> 00:20:08,365
I'll talk to him.
461
00:20:08,401 --> 00:20:09,934
I'll see what I can do.
462
00:20:09,969 --> 00:20:11,146
Oh, thank you, Norm.
463
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:13,315
I hope he doesn't
try anything crazy.
464
00:20:13,339 --> 00:20:15,439
The last thing on
Earth I want to see
465
00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:18,275
is my son's face
on the 11:00 news.
466
00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:21,661
There's a whole city out
there that agrees with ya.
467
00:21:09,229 --> 00:21:11,762
The world's biggest ass!
468
00:21:13,249 --> 00:21:14,214
Clifford,
469
00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:16,617
now take off those
silly handcuffs.
470
00:21:16,653 --> 00:21:18,552
I can't.
471
00:21:18,587 --> 00:21:19,804
I flushed the key.
472
00:21:19,839 --> 00:21:21,621
Norman,
473
00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:24,241
go outside and see if you
can find some tin snips.
474
00:21:24,276 --> 00:21:25,403
Ask for Biff.
475
00:21:25,427 --> 00:21:27,511
He loaned us the hard hats.
476
00:21:30,766 --> 00:21:34,218
Clifford, sometimes I
really worry about you.
477
00:21:34,253 --> 00:21:36,353
Look what they did to Elmer.
478
00:21:39,292 --> 00:21:43,961
I'm sorry, dear, but
what can we do?
479
00:21:43,997 --> 00:21:45,629
Come on, Ma, you're
the one who taught me
480
00:21:45,664 --> 00:21:46,964
that if you believe
in something,
481
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,132
if you really want it,
482
00:21:48,167 --> 00:21:50,167
then you're just going
to have to fight for it.
483
00:21:50,203 --> 00:21:52,052
The house is sold.
484
00:21:52,087 --> 00:21:53,404
They're going to tear it down.
485
00:21:53,439 --> 00:21:55,956
Well, then I am
going down with it.
486
00:21:55,992 --> 00:21:59,076
Clifford,
487
00:21:59,111 --> 00:22:03,947
does this house really
mean that much to you?
488
00:22:03,982 --> 00:22:05,248
Yeah, Ma.
489
00:22:05,284 --> 00:22:07,451
Yeah, it really does.
490
00:22:11,257 --> 00:22:15,259
Then it means that
much to me, too.
491
00:22:16,562 --> 00:22:19,212
I don't know what we'll do.
492
00:22:19,248 --> 00:22:20,447
We'll find a lawyer.
493
00:22:20,482 --> 00:22:23,167
We're going to
fight this together.
494
00:22:23,202 --> 00:22:24,802
We'll save our home.
495
00:22:24,837 --> 00:22:26,938
Oh, Ma, together? Really?
496
00:22:26,973 --> 00:22:29,440
Really, son.
497
00:22:31,076 --> 00:22:32,153
Oh!
498
00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:36,714
What are you going
to with that thing?
499
00:22:36,749 --> 00:22:37,948
Cut your handcuffs off.
500
00:22:37,983 --> 00:22:40,217
Yeah? Well, that's
a little bit dangerous!
501
00:22:40,252 --> 00:22:42,330
What? No, no. I'm
wearing a hard hat. It's okay.
502
00:22:42,354 --> 00:22:45,122
A hard hat? Get that
thing away from me!
503
00:22:45,158 --> 00:22:46,606
Cut the post!
504
00:22:46,642 --> 00:22:48,826
Isn't that a little drastic?
505
00:22:48,861 --> 00:22:51,329
No, Ma, I think we're going
to remodel in here anyway.
506
00:23:07,697 --> 00:23:08,729
There.
507
00:23:08,765 --> 00:23:11,198
I think we're going
to beat this thing.
508
00:23:11,233 --> 00:23:12,566
So do I.
509
00:23:12,601 --> 00:23:15,013
Now we're going
to find a lawyer.
510
00:23:15,037 --> 00:23:16,253
Okay.
511
00:23:16,288 --> 00:23:18,856
But first, I want
to treat you boys
512
00:23:18,891 --> 00:23:20,524
to a Popsicle!
513
00:23:20,559 --> 00:23:22,537
Oh, Ma.
514
00:23:23,929 --> 00:23:25,996
What was that?
515
00:23:26,032 --> 00:23:29,500
Ah, probably just a
squirrel on the roof.
516
00:23:31,771 --> 00:23:34,238
Big one.
517
00:23:35,524 --> 00:23:37,742
Uh-oh! Ma!
518
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,116
Imagine...
519
00:24:03,152 --> 00:24:07,170
we got a quarter of a
million for this dump.
35761
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